Capture the Moments With Your Family Before You Miss Them

Key takeaways

• Video holds what photos miss. Ashley Mesa wishes her family had more home videos to look back on.
• A gift can be made of small moments. Andy spent two to three days editing a short Disney video so his girlfriend would remember the day.
• Habits beat excuses. Pastor Adam Mesa argues that video tools have existed for over a decade, so a missing recording comes down to habit.
• Rest makes presence possible. After a packed Mother's Day weekend, Adam told Ashley she was worn out and needed to stop working.
• Memories gain value with time. Ashley admitted she has become sentimental and wants more of them.

A debate about being on time

This episode of the Beyond I Do podcast opens with Adam and Ashley arguing over a clock. They had a Zoom premarital session at 10, and Ashley says she was in the parking lot at 9:57, still taking off a lip tint she had sprayed on her face while doing her makeup in the car. Adam's answer was that someone had to set up the computer and log in to the Zoom, and that person was not her.

The teasing carried into the session itself. Adam said Ashley leaned back in a lounge chair about four feet behind him during a counseling appointment, and he had to stop to ask her to fix her posture. From there, the conversation turned to a question that ran through the whole episode: what do we capture, and what do we let slip by?

Andy's video for his girlfriend

Andy, who handles the creative work for the podcast, made a short video of his girlfriend's first Disney date. He said it took two to three days, fitted around work and school, because of the color grading, the added bloom and the many layers he built in Premiere Pro. The clips are only about thirty seconds each.

He made it as a gift, which is why he had not posted it. He said it was meant for her, and that the point was simple: "I wanted her to remember the day, even if it was like little glimpses of it, little moments." Andy said she almost cried, and he told the table he would probably share it with the audience now.

Ashley wants home movies

Andy's video set off a complaint from Ashley. She said home movies used to be a thing, and she loves recording her boys being goofy even when the footage is rough. In her words, "I don't feel like we have home videos, like, to look back on." She also said she wishes Adam, who is creative, would film her and her family more.

Adam had a ready answer. He said he made videos of their Japan trip, set to music, and that Ashley gave them about two seconds before saying they were cool. Now she remembers only that there was no music. He called it marriage summed up in one category. Ashley clarified that she wants live video of ordinary days, not a photo collage, and she added that on vacation she gets captured more than in daily life.

Someone at the table also said they have still photos of their dad and wish they had more footage of him moving. It is the kind of regret that only shows up later.

Habit, not availability

Adam did not accept the idea that technology kept anyone from filming. He pointed out that Snapchat, Vine and the rest have made video easy for over a decade, and said the gap is about the person holding the phone. Paraphrasing his argument: the tools have been there, so a missing recording is not an availability problem. His line was, "You don't have a habit around it, and that's a personal issue."

The group compared camera rolls, and the numbers ran into the thousands. Adam dug up his earliest videos: a GoPro clip from about nine years ago of him and Ashley jumping off a boat, then a Ferris wheel at Disneyland thirteen years back, filmed on someone else's phone. His point was that he has the memories because he filmed.

He widened it into a charge against excuses. "This generation needs to take more personal ownership," he said, and he asked Ashley where she needs to grow. She named patience. She also said she now has CapCut, the editing app Andy uses, so she has started.

Mother's Day, Disneyland and rest

After a break, the conversation moved to the weekend before. Adam and Ashley had spoken together on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, with women's events on Friday and Saturday. On Mother's Day, Adam gave Ashley a necklace with interchangeable pendants, and the picture on hers is from their vow renewal, where they are eating popsicles. Ashley said Adam's mother wanted to spend the afternoon with her grandchildren, so the two of them took a long nap and later ate ceviche, tacos and carne asada.

They are tired in a way that has changed their plans. They had booked Disneyland, and the night before, they looked at each other and asked how to bribe their kids out of it. They went to a Wagyu steak place and an indoor trampoline slide spot instead. Ashley wondered if she had simply become impatient.

Adam saw something else. He told her she was busier than ever and had been working every day when she was supposed to rest. "The real answer is you are exhausted and you don't rest," he said, and he warned her that you may think you are fine, but sooner or later you hit a wall. Ashley had preached on rest and balance in Christ at church that Sunday, and Adam suggested she listen to herself.

A moment that did get recorded

One story shows the habit at work. After a country concert where men carried their girlfriends on their shoulders, Adam and Ashley tried it at home, with Ashley in her robe, stepping from the couch onto his shoulders. They set up a tripod, and Ashley says they recorded it. They argued cheerfully about whether Adam's legs shook, which is exactly the kind of moment that is easy to lose if no one presses record.

A short summer break

Adam closed with news. Beyond I Do and Beyond the Letter will take a break of about five or six weeks starting in June, after two or three more episodes, while the studio's technology is upgraded. The goal is to host remote interviews that feel as if the guest is at the table. Adam said they have relationships with people who live too far away to come in, and that actors from the David and Moses series have said yes to interviews. Both podcasts enter new seasons in the fall.

What this means for you

The banter is light, but the question under it is practical. Is there someone whose everyday voice, walk or laugh you would hate to lose, and have you filmed it lately? Adam's argument is that the excuse of missing tools ran out years ago, and that a small habit does the work. Ashley's answer, said with a laugh, still carries weight: "I'm sentimental. I need memories."

You do not need Andy's editing skills. A thirty-second clip of an ordinary evening will mean more to you later than you can judge today. And if you are as worn out as Ashley was, take Adam's other point seriously: rest first, because you cannot be present for the moments you are too tired to notice.