Can Someone Curse Your Wedding Ring? A Pastor Responds

Key takeaways

• A new custom: Pastor Adam Mesa watched a wedding video in which family members pass the rings along a ribbon and bless them, and he found it sweet.
• A strong reaction: The comments under the video were full of fear of curses, black magic and "energy."
• Inconsistent fear: Adam argued that people who dread a guest touching a ring still invite that guest to the wedding, hug them and eat dinner with them.
• Covered in Christ: For a believer, he said, a rumored curse carries no authority, though he does take real witchcraft seriously.
• Symbolic gestures: A ring blessing is a symbol, Adam said, and he separates it from communion, which he calls a biblical sacrament.
• Practical advice: If you truly fear someone's intentions, do not invite them, and keep the ceremony to the people you love.

A ribbon, a ring and a wedding trend

The conversation on the Beyond I Do podcast began with a video Adam wanted to show his team. Adam has performed weddings for roughly 13 or 14 years, and he said that in the past three or four years many couples have asked for a new moment: before the ceremony starts, they turn around and take in the faces of their guests for about 30 seconds. Adam admitted that it sounded strange to him at first. Now that he has seen it many times, he says everyone loves it.

The video was a newer idea. Each family member holds a ribbon, the ring is slid along it, and everyone puts a hand on it and blesses the couple. In the clip, the people holding the ribbon were the couple's family: mom, dad, grandma and siblings. Adam noted that with ten rows of guests it would be a lot, but for the immediate family he thought it was creative and sweet.

Not everyone at the table agreed. Adam's wife, Ashley, thought the idea was whack, and she wasn't sold on the blessing itself. Adam took it in good humor, and in the end he offered to test the ribbon at the wedding of anyone who wants to try it.

What the comments said

Adam said he expected a few people to call the idea corny. What he found instead, in his words, was that nobody was for it, and the reason was the part that bothered him. The top comments were about curses. One said it was scary because people with bad intentions could curse the ring, and another said the family would put black magic in it. That one had about 6,000 likes. Another comment, with about 4,500 likes, said too much energy was touching the rings.

Adam said that not one commenter simply called the idea corny or not to their taste. They were afraid of a blessing turning into something dark, and he thought that fear showed a muddled way of thinking.

Why the fear doesn't hold together

Adam's main answer was about consistency. He asked why anyone who believes a guest can curse a ring would let that guest be at the wedding at all. A person with bad intentions could hug the bride, sit in the ceremony, or come to dinner the next week. Adam also pointed out that the same people who warn about energy often live recklessly, and he noted that alcohol is literally called spirits.

He was direct about the remedy. As he put it, "If you believe there is someone really who has bad intentions towards your marriage, don't invite them." He went further and said that if a family member truly practiced that level of witchcraft, you should not hang out with them either.

The team added their own examples. They noted that a screaming toddler can carry the ring down the aisle without anyone worrying, and that the bridesmaid or groomsman passing the ring was usually chosen as a close friend, not for character. Adam also described a friend who looks at your engagement ring and says it is not big enough. He asked whether that is not bad energy too.

Covered by the blood of Jesus

Adam did not wave away the spiritual world. He said he believes demonic things can be attached to objects, such as dolls, and he told two stories. On a cruise stop in Haiti, early in his relationship with Ashley, a doll was bought for Charlie. Before she touched it, Adam said, he prayed in the name of Jesus that anything demonic in it be gone. He described doing it without fear.

The other story came from a Sunday when he was about to preach. A woman in the third row handed him a velvet bag. He felt a rock through it and handed it off to Javier. After the service they found a purple crystal. Adam said it was a form of witchcraft, whether or not she knew it. Church staff tried to speak with her afterward, and she sprinted away, so he never learned her story.

The difference, Adam said, is between real witchcraft and a relative wishing a marriage ill by touching a ring, which he called ludicrous. About his own position he was plain: "I don't think anyone could pronounce his curse on me because I'm covered by the blood of Jesus." Someone could touch his ring and curse his marriage, he said, and he would answer in the name of Jesus.

His frustration was with what he called the hypocrisy. He said it bothers him that people will believe in bad vibes and demonic objects but not believe the gospel. Adam also told of a teacher whose son-in-law directs films about exorcisms, and of a friend with a podcast on exorcisms. Both hope that if people see how real the demonic is, they will wonder where the light is. Adam said many people are interested in spiritualism but never ask whether there is a way to be untouched by it. His answer was that the only way is the authority of Jesus. As he put it, "Everyone just believes in spiritualism without being spiritual and actually thinking about that."

Symbols, sacraments and the people you love

The team also talked about what a ring blessing actually is. Adam said it is a symbolic gesture, a way for a family to bless a son or daughter as they leave their parents' covering and start a home. He said the ring is a circle with no beginning and no end, a picture of a love meant to be unending.

He drew a line between this kind of gesture and a biblical sacrament. Adam only performs Christian weddings, and he recommends communion, which he treats as a sacrament given by God. The unity candle, the sand mixed from two families and the lasso are, in his view, meaningful symbols but not biblical sacraments.

Ashley shared how she and Adam brought loved ones into their own wedding. Grandparents walked down the aisle on their own, and roses carrying the names of relatives who had died stood at the front with the couple. Her grandmother Patty was honored by it.

On the ribbon idea, Adam would say yes only to the front row. As he put it, "it's all about trying to savor the moment and slow the moment." He added that about 70 percent of the people at his and Ashley's wedding are no longer in their lives, but they still talk to every family member who came. For him, that is the group that makes the moment worth having.

What this means for you

If you are planning a wedding, the conversation gives you permission to shape your day around the people you love and invite only those you want there. A ribbon, a pause to look at your guests or a blessing from your family is a choice, and you may like it or find it corny.

It also invites you to look at where your fears come from. If a rumor of a curse worries you, ask what you actually believe about God's authority. Adam's answer was that a believer does not have to live in dread of a hug or a touched ring. If someone truly worries you, the simplest step is not to invite them.