Episode 268: Toxic Empathy: When Helping Others Is Hurting You | Dr. Kim West

Episode 268: Toxic Empathy: When Helping Others Is Hurting You | Dr. Kim West

November 9, 2026 · 39 min

Are you exhausted from always putting others first? Toxic empathy, people-pleasing, and guilt can leave you emotionally depleted. Dr. Kim West joins me to explain how to set healthy boundaries without losing your compassion.Have you ever said yes when you really wanted to say no? Or felt guilty for taking care of yourself while someone else needed help?I think so many women can relate to this. We want to love people well, be supportive, and serve others. But sometimes, our desire to help turns into overgiving, people-pleasing, and taking responsibility for things that aren't ours to carry.In this episode of the Visibly Fit Podcast, I'm joined by Dr. Kim West, transformational counselor, coach, and author of Toxic Empathy. We talk about how healthy compassion can become unhealthy when we lose ourselves trying to meet everyone else's needs.Dr. Kim shares why empathy is a gift, not a weakness, and how it can become toxic when we feel responsible for rescuing everyone around us. We also explore what the Bible teaches us about boundaries, self-love, and our identity in Christ.Podcast Chapters:[00:00] Introduction: Dr. Kim West and Toxic Empathy[02:24] When Good Empathy Becomes Toxic[03:43] Healthy Compassion vs. Toxic Empathy[05:27] How Women Lose Themselves Through Overgiving[06:50] What Jesus Teaches Us About Healthy Boundaries[08:14] Helping Others vs. Taking Responsibility for Them[10:20] Why Setting Boundaries Can Feel Selfish[13:00] A Real-Life Example of Toxic Empathy[16:08] Healthy Boundaries vs. Cutting People Off[19:05] When Someone Continually Disrespects Your Boundaries[21:02] Helping Women Discover Their Identity in Christ[23:19] Building Healthy Partnerships in Marriage[26:40] What Dr. Kim Wants Women to Learn from Toxic Empathy[29:28] The Connection Between Stress and Emotional Health[31:30] People Pleasing, Depression, and Anxiety[34:00] Finding Lasting Joy in Christ[35:10] The Already, Not Yet: Understanding God's GraceResources mentioned:Dr. Kim West's Website: drkimwest.orgGet Your Copy of Toxic Empathy by Dr. Kim West: https://a.co/d/08KotDOyConnect with today's guest:Instagram: @drkimwestYouTube: @drkimwestFacebook: @DrKimWestDr. Kim West is a transformational counselor, coach, and accomplished author of nearly 50 books, including children's books and resources for personal and spiritual growth. She holds a PhD in Clinical Pastoral Counseling and a Master of Divinity (MDiv). With more than 25 years of experience, she has helped women navigate trauma, identity, emotional struggles, and spiritual crises.Her latest book, Toxic Empathy, explores how compassion can become entangled with guilt, people-pleasing, and over-responsibility. Through her counseling, writing, and teaching, Dr. Kim encourages women to embrace their God-given identity, establish healthy boundaries, and live with greater freedom and joy in Christ.P.S. If you're just checking out the show to see if it's a good fit for you, welcome!If you're really serious about becoming Visibly Fit, you'll get the best experience if you download the worksheets available at https://wendiepett.com/visiblyfitpodcast.