Skip to content Soul Care: Identifying Life-Giving Rhythms to Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, and Find Unshakeable Joy with Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker, & Author, Debra Fileta, Ep. 202
The Built Different Podcast with Zach Clinton
35:58 Listen to Soul Care: Identifying Life-Giving Rhythms to Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, and Find Unshakeable Joy with Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker, & Author, Debra Fileta, Ep. 202 Soul Care: Identifying Life-Giving Rhythms to Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, and Find Unshakeable Joy with Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker, & Author, Debra Fileta, Ep. 202 Dec 3 · 36 min ...more
Soul Care: Identifying Life-Giving Rhythms to Live Restored, Avoid Burnout, and Find Unshakeable Joy with Licensed Professional Counselor, Speaker, & Author, Debra Fileta, Ep. 202
December 3, 2024 · 36 min
In our fast-paced culture plagued with burnout, stress, and chronic fatigue, we often find that we’re functioning out of emptiness. But what would it be like to experience a fullness in our life that was truly lasting and regenerative? In today’s conversation licensed professional counselor, nationally acclaimed speaker, best-selling author, and renowned podcaster, Debra Fileta, shows you how Jesus’ own life rhythms can guide you to true health and rest, teaching you how to live full rather than empty. Rooted in Scripture and expertly informed by clinical psychology, today’s conversation will help you identify six life-giving practices from the life of Jesus that address your whole person—mind, body, and spirit. As you are guided toward your own practice of biblical self-care, you will learn how the Bible responds to common myths about soul care; how a lack of soul care impacts your relationships, ministries, and careers; and how to recognize the signs and signals of burnout and respond proactively with practical solutions. Empty people cannot fill up others. As you learn to be filled as Jesus was by intentional rhythms and practices, you will experience renewed energy, motivation, and strength to serve others as you never have before! Debra’s Website: https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/ Purchase Soul Care: https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Care-Life-Giving-Discover-Unspeakable-ebook/dp/B0CTDS4XC2 Take the Soul-Care Quiz: https://debrafileta.com/takethesoulcarequiz/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Series The Built Different Podcast with Zach Clinton December 3, 2024 · 36 min · The Built Different Podcast with Zach Clinton
In our fast-paced culture plagued with burnout, stress, and chronic fatigue, we often find that we’re functioning out of emptiness. But what would it be like to experience a fullness in our life that was truly lasting and regenerative? In today’s conversation licensed professional counselor, nationally acclaimed speaker, best-selling author, and renowned podcaster, Debra Fileta, shows you how Jesus’ own life rhythms can guide you to true health and rest, teaching you how to live full rather than empty. Rooted in Scripture and expertly informed by clinical psychology, today’s conversation will help you identify six life-giving practices from the life of Jesus that address your whole person—mind, body, and spirit. As you are guided toward your own practice of biblical self-care, you will learn how the Bible responds to common myths about soul care; how a lack of soul care impacts your relationships, ministries, and careers; and how to recognize the signs and signals of burnout and respond proactively with practical solutions. Empty people cannot fill up others. As you learn to be filled as Jesus was by intentional rhythms and practices, you will experience renewed energy, motivation, and strength to serve others as you never have before! Debra’s Website: https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/ Purchase Soul Care: https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Care-Life-Giving-Discover-Unspeakable-ebook/dp/B0CTDS4XC2 Take the Soul-Care Quiz: https://debrafileta.com/takethesoulcarequiz/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us. ...more Show the full description Show less In our fast-paced culture plagued with burnout, stress, and chronic fatigue, we often find that we’re functioning out of emptiness. But what would it be like to experience a fullness in our life that was truly lasting and regenerative? In today’s conversation licensed professional counselor, nationally acclaimed speaker, best-selling author, and renowned podcaster, Debra Fileta, shows you how Jesus’ own life rhythms can guide you to true health and rest, teaching you how to live full rather than empty. Rooted in Scripture and expertly informed by clinical psychology, today’s conversation will help you identify six life-giving practices from the life of Jesus that address your whole person—mind, body, and spirit. As you are guided toward your own practice of biblical self-care, you will learn how the Bible responds to common myths about soul care; how a lack of soul care impacts your relationships, ministries, and careers; and how to recognize the signs and signals of burnout and respond proactively with practical solutions. Empty people cannot fill up others. As you learn to be filled as Jesus was by intentional rhythms and practices, you will experience renewed energy, motivation, and strength to serve others as you never have before! Debra’s Website: https://debrafileta.com/soulcare/ Purchase Soul Care: https://www.amazon.com/Soul-Care-Life-Giving-Discover-Unspeakable-ebook/dp/B0CTDS4XC2 Take the Soul-Care Quiz: https://debrafileta.com/takethesoulcarequiz/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.
Series The Built Different Podcast with Zach Clinton
168K followers
M.A. in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, doctoral student in Clinical Psychology. Host of ‘The Built Different Podcast’ with guests like Kirk Cousins, Albert
168K followers
Up next Autoplay More from Zach Clinton Dr. Caroline Leaf: Managing the Mind - How to Overcome Overthinking & Reclaim Your Peace, Ep. 327 Zach Clinton
Dr. Lee Warren: How to Renew Your Mind & Rewire Your Brain - The Neuroscience of Healing, Breaking Negative Thought Patterns, & Finding Hope Again, Ep. 326 Zach Clinton
Rodney Holmstrom: Breaking the Chains of Addiction - Shifting Your Dependency, Finding Freedom in Christ, & Celebrating Recovery, Ep. 325 Zach Clinton
Dr. Monty Burks: Fighting Addiction - Moving From a Pill Culture to a Purpose Culture, Ep. 324 Zach Clinton
Ryan Miller: MEEK AS A MUSTANG - Finding the Strength to Surrender Your Wild Heart to Jesus, Ep. 323 Zach Clinton
John Cooper: HURT BY THE CHURCH, HELD BY CHRIST - Deep Suffering, Deconstruction, & Discovering the Sweetness of Christ After the Storm, Ep. 322 Zach Clinton
Baily Hager: Don’t Give Up, It Gets Better - Trusting the Comforter Through the Process of Healing, Ep. 321 Zach Clinton
Ian Simkins: Every Table An Altar - How Presence, Community, & Hospitality Can Heal a Divided, Distracted, & Lonely World, Ep. 320 Zach Clinton
Denny Thompson: Stop Playing it Safe - The Privilege of Failure, the Risk of Never Taking the Risk, & Why the Best Life Rarely Goes According to Plan, Ep. 319 Zach Clinton
Sheila Walsh: The Cost of Pretending You’re Okay - Buried Emotions, Depression, Mental Health & the Courage to Heal, Ep. 318 Zach Clinton
Mike Jarvis: Dreams Don’t Quit, People Do - Perspective, Patience, Perseverance & the Power Forged Through Waiting, Ep. 317 Zach Clinton
0:02 Life audio. Built Different is a production of the American Association of Christian Counselors. To support this podcast and learn how you can help us to promote all our biblical content, spread the gospel, and provide0:13 mental health resources and training to people everywhere, just go to a a c c foundation dot o r g. Again, that's a a c c foundation dot org.0:24 Have you ever felt like you're behind in life? Like you should be further along or that things don't turn out the way that you hoped? Tanner Olsen's new book, Getting Through What You're Going Through, is a reminder that0:35 you're not behind. You're right where you're meant to be. This heartfelt collection of over 100 poems and reflections invites you to slow down, breathe, and find hope in life's0:47 ordinary moments, a warm cup of coffee, a walk with a friend, even a simple pancake. Tanner reminds us that God is present in both the highs and the lows and that hope is0:59 always within reach. Preorder your copy of Getting Through What You're Going Through Wherever Books Are Sold.1:10 Marriage was never meant to be effortless, but it was meant to endure. Tried and True is a scripture centered marriage guide for couples who want a marriage shaped by faith, not perfection. I'm1:21 Dana Shay, the author. In this book, I explore 12 imperfect biblical marriages, stories marked by struggle, waiting, failure, and restoration. Rather than1:33 offering quick fixes, tried and true helps couples to understand how spiritual intimacy and emotional connection grow through hardship, not the absence of it. With biblical1:44 insight, reflection, and guided conversation, this book meets couples in the long middle of marriage and points them toward lasting hope. Available now at tried and true marriage book
1:56 dot com or find tried and true everywhere books are sold.
2:08 Welcome to Built Different. I'm Zach Clinton, your host. And each week, I come to you exclusively on the Life Audio Podcast Network. I'm proud to partner with Life Audio and bring you entertaining, life changing, family
2:18 friendly podcast for a new generation. At Built Different, our mission is to provide encouragement, hope, and challenge to help push you past your limits and reach goals you never thought possible. Colossians 2 verse 6
2:29 says, so then just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him. Amen? Now let's roll.
2:38 What's going on everybody? And welcome back in to this week's edition of the built different podcast. I'll be your host, Zach Clinton. And as always, I hope and
2:49 pray each and every 1 of you had a blessed weekend, are having a great start to your week, but more importantly, had a blessed and a happy thanksgiving holiday. I don't know about you guys and what your thanksgiving
2:58 looked like. Me and Evelyn looked like hosting her entire family, 16 of us under the same roof. It was an incredible time. We had our parents there. We had our 4 sisters there, their spouses, their children, 16 of us
3:09 packed underneath our roof. And I tell you what, we had so many incredible moments and memories shared. I'm so grateful, and I cherish the time we were able to spend together as a family. On top of that, we had great
3:20 fellowship. We had great food. We watched a lot of great football. It was a great Thanksgiving holiday. And then following Thanksgiving on Black Friday, I had the opportunity of driving up to Central Pennsylvania, the
3:32 rolling hills, the backwoods where my dad had the opportunity of growing up. And we went hunting with my dad, my uncle. On top of that, a couple of my cousins that I don't get to see all that often. It's a family
3:43 tradition. I always say that traditions are the glue that hold families together. Let me tell you something. That's 1 of my favorite traditions. We went up again, opening day of rifle season. It's a national holiday up
3:53 in Pennsylvania, people. It was a blast. Had the opportunity of knocking down a 7 point, and man, we had so much fun. But 1 thing coming out of the transition season, now entering really into the Christmas season, a lot
4:04 of trees are going up, the lights are going up, Christmas presents are being wrapped, they're being bought. There's a lot of stress and pressure though that could come with Christmas, even though it's a very magical
4:12 time. I love the trees, I love the lights, I love the presents, I love the magic. But on top of that, sometimes my friends, it can be a very difficult season for some people. And sometimes it can be easy to neglect our
4:23 own personal self care and more importantly, soul care. That's why I wanted to extend an invitation to a dear friend that's been on here before. You all know her. You all love her. Her name is miss Deborah Falada.
4:33 Deborah Falada is a licensed professional counselor, national speaker, and author of True Love Dates, Choosing Marriage, Love in Every Season, Are You Really Okay, Married, Sex, and Reset. She's also the host of Talk To
4:44 Me, the Deborah Flayda podcast, formerly the Love and Relationships podcast where she facilitates on air authentic counseling style sessions. Through her popular blog, true love dates dot com and podcast, she shares the
4:56 message that healthy people make healthy relationships. Deborah and her husband, John, have been happily married for 17 years and have 4 beautiful children. That being said, today, we're gonna be diving into her
5:07 newest book, soul care. Find life giving rhythms, live restored, avoid burnout, and discover unspeakable joy. In our fast paced culture plagued with burnout, stress, and chronic fatigue, we often find that we're
5:18 functioning out of emptiness. What would it be like to experience a fullness in our life that was truly lasting and regenerative? In her book Soul Care, as well as our conversation today, licensed counselor, Deborah
5:28 Falada shows you how Jesus's own life rhythms can guide you to true health and rest teaching you how to live full rather than empty. Rooted in scripture expertly informed by clinical psychology, Soul Care identifies 6
5:40 life giving practices from the life of Jesus that address your whole person, mind, body and spirit. As you're guided toward your own practice of biblical self care, you will learn how the Bible responds to common myths
5:51 about soul care, how a lack of soul care impacts your relationships, ministries and careers, and how to recognize the signs and signals of burnout and respond proactively with practical solutions.
6:02 Empty people cannot fill up others. So as you learn to be filled as Jesus was by intentional rhythms and practices, you will experience renewed energy, motivation, and strength to serve others as you
6:14 never have before. That's my prayer for each and every 1 of us going into this Christmas season and just truly reminding ourselves that Jesus is the true reason for the season. That being said, friends, let's welcome
6:26 again our very special guest, licensed professional counselor and nationally renowned speaker and author, miss Deborah Faleta. Miss Deborah, thank you so much for joining me today.
6:34 It's always good to be here with you, Zach.
6:36 I'm so grateful for your time. Just your willingness to come. We're here in Pennsylvania, your hometown. So grateful to be here. We've done everything that there could possibly be known as Hershey. Hershey pantry,
6:47 Hersheypark, made our own Hershey bars. It's been a blast being here for this extraordinary women event, Deborah. But as we begin today, we're gonna be unpacking your newest book, Soul Care. Find life giving rhythms,
6:58 live restored, avoid burnout, and discover unspeakable joy. I can't wait to dive into the book. But upfront Yeah. You are a licensed professional counselor. You're a nationally well known speaker, a best selling author,
7:10 podcast host of Talk To Me with Deborah Falada. Deborah, first and foremost, what is the most exciting thing that you have in your bucket list, coming up here pretty quick?
7:20 You know, it's what's interesting about that is I personally have a tendency to always think ahead about what's next and what's what am I doing next? What's God doing next? But listen, Zach, this is from the
7:32 bottom of my heart. Have felt lately that, especially as I've been writing the message of soul care and marinating in it, that God has said to me, I want you to focus on what's now.
7:44 Amen.
7:44 Not what's next. What's now? What's in front of you right now to enjoy and savor. I'm in a season where I have a child in each stage of life. We have a toddler, an
7:56 elementary schooler, a middle schooler, and a high schooler.
7:59 Oh my goodness.
8:00 John and I have been married for 17 years. And, you know, life comes with ups and downs, with joys and struggles, but I have really been being intentional to savor
8:12 what's in front of me today and what God is doing. And so, I know there's a lot coming up up ahead and different projects, kids books, and other books coming up in the future, but what I really am trying
8:23 to do is just savor what's now and what's in front of me today. And so it's been a good practice.
8:28 I love that. It was a blessing to spend some time with you guys last night. You and John and Ella Yeah. When she was celebrating her birthday, listening to Katie Nicole. Just seeing, like, the wonder and the amazement.
8:38 She stood the whole concert.
8:39 I
8:39 know. She videoed the majority of it. It just brought joy to my heart to see you in that really important role of wife and mom, which takes place so much greater than all the other accolades and all the things that you
8:51 do and all the books that you write.
8:52 You're right.
8:53 But just to see you in that role was refreshing. And, you know, today, we're gonna be talking about, like we talked about your newest book, Soul Care. We talk about this all the time in the field of psychology. Right.
9:02 Especially in the Christian psychology field. We give it a lot of emphasis. We're not always the best at it.
9:06 Right.
9:06 But for the listeners and viewers that are like, what are they talking about? Caring for the soul. Right. What does that actually mean to you, Deborah?
9:13 Yeah. You know, I first wanna differentiate between self care and soul care. Mhmm. I think a lot of times we hear the word self care and we're kind of thrown off by it. In
9:24 fact, I think a lot of Christians especially are repulsed by that word. There's an aversion to self care because it's like, I don't want to focus on myself. And so what we do
9:36 then is the opposite, where we self neglect and we become empty. And and empty people cannot continue to pour out. Yeah. Empty people
9:48 have nothing left to give. And ironically, when you self neglect, you become so depleted and empty and bitter and resentful and irritable and depressed and anxious because you're you're depleted. And
10:00 in those low points of life, oftentimes all you can think about is yourself.
10:05 Right.
10:05 So ironically, self care or self obsession, self neglect, they all have the word self in them. Right? And I think when culture defines self care,
10:17 they define it as a superficial 1 time act to put a band aid on a pain point. Like, I'm I'm having a hard day, so I'm gonna go get a manicure, I'm gonna go to massage, or I'm gonna take a hot
10:29 bath. And not that those things are wrong, they're just not long lasting. They're quick fixes. They're superficial quick fixes to the underlying problem of
10:41 burnout and emptiness. I call it the burnout cycle. So soul care is much deeper than that. Soul care is about finding these rhythms that will fill
10:53 you up and keep you filled. Because isn't that what God desires? Absolutely. Mean, the bible says that Jesus came to give us life abundant. Another translation says life in
11:05 all of its fullness. Wow. But how many of us as believers really feel that? I think the majority and what I see as a licensed counselor, the
11:16 majority, even people who are in high leadership positions, senior pastors, CEOs are feeling empty and depleted. And I just don't believe that that's how God calls us to live.
11:28 So soul care is really about 6 life giving rhythms that aren't just founded by counseling and psychology. Yeah. They are also rooted in the life of Christ.
11:40 Mhmm. And he was the greatest model for this book. I've never modeled an entire book around the life of Jesus. But let me tell you, Zach, I fell in love with him so much more. Wow. Just seeing how
11:52 balanced and healthy and intentional he was. It just really I think it was my favorite book to write because it was written for me. I wrote it in 16 days.
12:04 Wow. You serious? 16 days.
12:07 It felt like the Lord was like, here. Right. This is for you. And I just sat down and received and and I pray that God would use the message to fill up others, if they're feeling a little bit run
12:19 down and burnt out.
12:20 I tell you what, I think there is no greater time for this book than now. Because as I was doing the research on the book and I was looking it up, you have, written about it. No question that we live in a fast paced
12:32 culture plagued with burnout, stress, and chronic fatigue. And as you mentioned, we often find that we're functioning out of emptiness. Yeah. And, you know, I think we can all attest to this. I I think about my own
12:44 personal life. There are so many areas where I have felt depleted in the past because it's just like saying yes to everything running running running. Right. And I wanna dive into those those 6 kind of rhythms that you
12:54 found through the life of Christ. But before we get there, I'd be interested in understanding you serving in the front lines. What are you seeing as some of the biggest contributing factors to this high level of stress
13:05 and burnout? Because if you look at the statistics, Deborah, they're continuing to skyrocket and I don't see it going anywhere quite soon.
13:12 Right. You know, I really believe that it comes down to our underlying belief systems. That's really what I'm seeing. You know, we could jump into these 6 rhythms and talk about them. But but
13:24 here's the thing, you can't just start practicing these 6 rhythms without getting to the root of your underlying belief systems that cause you to engage in the
13:36 burnout cycle.
13:37 Yeah.
13:37 Why am I constantly here? Why am I feeling spread too thin? Why do I feel empty and depleted all the time? Why do I say yes to everything and have a hard time saying no? Why do I feel like I have to be the
13:49 1 to fill in the gaps and fix things? And, you know, where does that underlying belief system come from? So in fact, before I get into the 6 rhythms and soul care, I actually spend the first 5 chapters talking about
14:01 the why. Why do you struggle with this to begin with? And I think there's a combination of things. The first would be theologically. We have these underlying
14:13 belief systems theologically that aren't accurate to scripture. We we we believe things that aren't true of what the bible says. Yeah. We think that self
14:24 neglect is righteous. So there's a lot of theological tweaks that have to happen Yeah. And seeing scripture for what it is, and I get into those. But what I wanna focus on in this conversation are the
14:36 psychological tweaks.
14:37 So
14:38 many of us carry roles from childhood and beliefs from childhood
14:43 Yeah.
14:43 That play out in how we live our life even after we come to Jesus. It was really interesting, Zach. I have a podcast that you know about called Talk To Me. Yes. It's on air counseling sessions with all kinds of people
14:54 from leaders to hotline callers. And I did a soul care series. We're in the middle of it right now where we talk have people come on and talk about which of the rhythms they're struggling with the most and why. And
15:06 it was fascinating. 3 personality types came up to the surface of people who struggle the most with soul care. People who struggle the most being aware of their needs.
15:18 Yeah.
15:18 The first were firstborns. In fact, I dedicated this book to my daughter because she's a firstborn. And so am I. But firstborns often have that tendency to be overly
15:30 responsible. They want to please, they want to do well, they want people to be happy, they want to fill in the gaps. And so they have that tendency to take on more than
15:42 their fair share. And then their needs get put on the back burner. Yep. Right? And in counseling, we often say behind every people pleaser was once a parent pleaser.
15:53 That's very true.
15:54 Right? So it's like all of these things that we bring to the table and later in life, we become people pleasers and we wanna please everyone and make everyone happy at the expense of our own needs. So that's the first
16:04 personality type. The second personality type that came to the surface is somebody that grew up in a home where there was much higher needs. So maybe it was a sibling who was really
16:16 rebellious or a dysfunctional situation, chaos, arguments, parents who got a divorce and there was a lot of yelling and screaming, an illness of some sort,
16:28 some sort of an addiction or disability or whatever. And so when I look around at my family and there's much higher needs all around me, tendency is to lower
16:40 my needs to keep equilibrium. It's like there's not enough space in this equation for my needs. So what do I do? I decrease my needs. I ignore my needs. That was the second type of person. The
16:52 third type were people who had parents who were not available for their needs. The word frazzled mom came up multiple times in my interviews, which
17:03 I found fascinating. Yeah. Mom was so frazzled and overwhelmed and stressed. Dad was unavailable, drunk, workaholic, out of touch. And so I, as a kid, I have
17:15 these needs. Do I go to mom? No, she's way too stressed. Do I go to dad? No, he's uninterested, unavailable. So what do I do with my needs? I stuff them. And some people
17:27 are listening and they're like, I can check off all 3 boxes. Right. Right? But these are what shape our underlying belief systems. Beliefs like I have to be the 1 to fix the chaos.
17:39 I have to be the 1 to fill in the gaps. There's not enough room here for my needs. My needs are not as important as the needs of others. And so we have these underlying belief systems that then
17:51 fuel how we function. So if you're in a life pattern of burnout, I can guarantee you there are some underlying belief systems that are aligned
18:03 to your trauma over God's truth. And so we have to get to some of those roots. That's why counseling, as you know, is such a crucial part. For for many people, it's like
18:15 they don't know how to get to the roots. They don't know how to get to these underlying belief systems. And so that's what we as counselors are so privileged to be able to help people start
18:27 to unpack where did these patterns begin and where did these belief systems develop and how does the Lord want you to begin to align your beliefs with his truth
18:37 Mhmm.
18:37 Over your trauma.
18:39 I tell you what Deborah, I mean so much truth that you just mentioned there and as I was hearing those different kind of rhythms that I may be struggling within my own personal life being vulnerable, I find myself in
18:49 that people pleasing bucket quite often, right? Saying yes to people, almost developing like this messiah like complex where I feel guilty. Right. If I say no to somebody or I feel like that could ruin or tarnish the
19:01 kind of the relationship with someone. All of these different things come into play. But then I think of like the lies of the enemy. If Satan if Satan can't make you bad, he'll make you busy. I think of, you know, my dad
19:12 always says the modern day definition of the word tragedy is becoming good at the things that really don't matter. And I start to look at the different areas of my life that take an expense or a shortcoming because of
19:23 I'm trying to push, push, push in all these different areas of my life. This is such
19:27 a pertinent
19:28 conversation for so many of us. And I think the reason why some of us struggle, especially the burnout and stress and it continues to build and raise in our life is because either we don't give it
19:39 attention, number 1, or we have a lack of awareness of it in our lives entirely.
19:44 Yeah.
19:44 So I'd be interested for listeners and viewers, how do they begin to know? Like, where are the red flags, the warning signs, the signals that, hey, maybe burnout and stress is right around the corner for you?
19:54 Yeah. Real quick, I wanna touch on that messiah complex that you mentioned because I think many people who are burnt out Yeah. Consider themselves servers.
20:04 Yes. Absolutely.
20:05 They serve. They give. They care for others. So it doesn't feel like a messiah complex because it's like, am pouring out because I wanna help. I wanna be there for others. I wanna help others. But what we don't realize
20:17 is it takes humility to honor our capacity. Amen. It takes humility to say, I have limits, God given limits. And if Jesus,
20:29 who is fully God, yet fully man honored, chose to honor the limits of his human capacity as we'll see in these 6 rhythms, how much more do I have to honor
20:41 my human capacity and realize the humility that it takes to say, Lord, this is all I have and I'm trusting you to fill in the gaps. It's not my job to fill in the gaps, it's your job.
20:53 All I have is these loaves and fish and it's your job to multiply them. So there is a hint of pride in those of us who believe that we have what
21:05 it takes to do it all. And it's just a matter of time until we crash. It's just a matter of time until we burn out. So signs of burnout are first of all,
21:17 finding yourself saying things like, I'm so busy. Yep. My schedule is so full. Like when people ask you how you're doing, I'm so busy, so full, so busy, so full. That's a good indicator that something's going on
21:29 that shouldn't be going on. Yeah. And then start tuning into your body, feelings of fatigue, exhaustion, irritability, not having the excitement to do the things that you wanna do,
21:41 a lack of creativity, tension in your relationships. I really believe that when we're empty. Our relationships feel it first, our closest relationships, irritability, and and just more
21:52 bickering and more tension than we're used to having. You can find depression and anxiety start to sneak in more than usual, aches and pains in your body that are just kinda from out of
22:04 nowhere. Like why do I have all these headaches all the time? So we wanna really be in tune. The other thing is we can find ourselves numbing. So more screen time, more scrolling,
22:16 more alcohol, more sugar. Sugar is the good girl's alcohol, right. More of those things that numb us, but empty things can't fill
22:28 empty people. And when you're starting to see these numbing utensils increase in your life, more time on YouTube, more time on Netflix, it's an
22:40 indicator. Like why? What am I trying to numb here? Because instead of numbing, we need to face it
22:46 Yeah.
22:46 And deal with it and heal it and begin to do things differently.
22:50 Such a powerful word about humility. Right? That humility is like that accurate awareness of self. Yeah. Recognizing that we all have a limit to our level of capacity as you mentioned. Man, I
23:01 mean, every counselor needs a counselor. Deborah Fleda may have just become my counselor. Anytime.
23:06 It'll be
23:08 my privilege.
23:09 I I so appreciate that word. And I'm gonna stop this right there and jump in to say, you're listening to Built Different. I'm Zach Clinton. We need to break for a brief message from our sponsors. I'll be back with our
23:19 guests to keep the conversation flowing right after this. You're listening to Life Audio.
23:25 Have you ever felt like you're behind in life? Like you should be further along or that things don't turn out the way that you hoped? Tanner Olsen's new book, Getting Through What You're Going Through, is a reminder that
23:37 you're not behind. You're right where you're meant to be. This heartfelt collection of over 100 poems and reflections invites you to slow down, breathe, and find
23:48 hope in life's ordinary moments, a warm cup of coffee, a walk with a friend, even a simple pancake. Tanner reminds us that God is present in both the highs and the lows and that
24:00 hope is always within reach. Preorder your copy of getting through what you're going through wherever books are sold.
24:10 Need a daily spark of hope and direction? Let the daily bible app from Salem Media be that spark. This free Android app delivers an uplifting verse each morning, plus reading plans, devotions, and trusted podcasts
24:22 from leaders like Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren. Prefer to listen instead? The Daily Bible app reads verses, reading plans, and chapters aloud, handy for the headphones moment of your day. Choose from versions like ESV,
24:34 NIV, KJV, and more, and bookmark favorites to revisit later. Share inspiring messages with loved ones right from the app. Feel God's presence in every notification. Search for Daily Bible app on Google Play and
24:46 begin your day with hope, purpose, and peace.
24:51 Just a midpoint reset here. I'm Zach Clinton, joined by best selling author Deborah Falada. She's also a licensed professional counselor. She's a renowned speaker. But today, we're unpacking her newest book titled Soul
25:01 Care. And we've been diving into, just some of the challenges that people are up against when it comes to soul care, the difference between self care and soul care, and the different rhythms that we can dive into. That's
25:12 kinda where I wanna transition the conversation now. We've talked a lot about recognizing these things, the challenges that are up against us that are really in culture and society moving the stress and the burnout
25:22 levels to levels honestly we've never really seen before.
25:24 Yeah.
25:25 But you have identified 6 life giving practices through the life of Jesus that we can begin implementing in our own lives today. I would love, Deborah. You don't have to give all 6 because we want people to read the
25:35 book. We want them buy the book. But what's 1 or 2 that you think are just pertinent for us to hear today?
25:40 Yeah. Well, I'll I'll give you the most basic and then I'll tell you my favorite. Yeah. I would say starting with the rhythm of nourish. And nourish is about nutrition, hydration, and movement. Mhmm.
25:52 And 1 of the the chapters is called, it might not be a demon. It might just be dehydration. Mhmm. Oftentimes we self sabotage. Yeah. We neglect the temple that God has
26:04 given us by fueling our bodies with unhealthy things, by neglecting to nourish our body, movement, all of those things that help our body run, we cannot go to Judea and Samaria and
26:16 the ends of the earth when we're sick and tired and depleted because of our own self neglect. Yes. And so it looks at the life of Christ in those 3 areas and how he invested in those things,
26:27 what it looked like for him during that season of life, the science and neurology behind all of those things, hydration and nutrition and how all of these affect our bodies.
26:39 So nourish is a practice. Rest is a practice that we talk about. You know, how Jesus spent time resting. Jesus took naps. Our t shirt that
26:51 came out for the release of Soul Care says Jesus took naps. Be more like Jesus. It talks about the savior of the world. He only had 3 years to do ministry. He wasn't go go go hustle
27:03 hustle hustle 2 hour a night of sleep. He had a slower pace. He had rhythms of rest. He took naps. He had margin in his life. So that that section
27:15 talks about rest. There's a section called protect that talks about boundaries. There's a section called connect that talks about life giving relationships. My favorite section is
27:27 the section of savor. And it talks about the importance of being present, being aware. You cannot savor when you're multitasking. Right? So it talks about
27:39 mindfulness. It talks about gratitude. It talks about enjoying life. And it was really cool, Zach, as I went through these rhythms through the life of Christ, I'm reading the gospels. You know, I've read the gospel so
27:50 many times. Yeah. But reading it through the lens of soul care, so many things were revealed to me that I had never noticed before about Jesus. My favorite was Matthew 13 verse
28:02 1, and it says, Jesus left the house and went and sat by the lake. Mhmm. Period. Mhmm. Now a crowd gathered around him that people saw him and eventually a crowd gathered around him and he went into the
28:14 parable of the sower where he talks about distraction and all kinds of things. But the beauty of that verse of Jesus leaving the busy house and going to sit by the lake, I love sitting by the ocean. I love sitting
28:26 by water. I find it so replenishing and just connecting with God in that moment, being present in tune. And it was just such a beautiful thing to see the
28:37 humanity of Jesus as he practiced these rhythms. How much time he spent alone with the father going back to the rhythm of protect, setting boundaries, saying no and not yet,
28:49 Or the rhythm of tune in. Being aware of our emotional world and what's going on underneath the surface of our life and how Jesus modeled that by responding to his emotions.
29:01 So all these different rhythms and just seeing them through the life of Christ just made them all the more beautiful, all the more real, all the more necessary. I think where we
29:13 struggle is when we start to believe that soul care is a luxury rather than a necessity. And we get to that point where we're starting to see the signals. Our body is sending us
29:25 all of these signals and we just judge our body. We judge ourselves. Why am I so weak? Why can't I keep going? What's wrong with me? And we push through rather than pause to respond.
29:37 Wow. And that's when things start to break down.
29:39 That's exactly right. Right when we start to view self care. I love then soul care as a luxury rather than a necessity. You know as you talk about that concept and that rhythm of savor. I think back
29:51 to a story that my dad often shares when I was just a wee little kid and dad was running around like crazy. He had so much on his plate. He was kind of trying to help the American Association of Christian Counselor just
30:03 off their feet type of thing. And he remembers traveling all the time, but coming home 1 day and seeing just the press of a nose that was pressed up against the window seal because I couldn't wait for my dad to come
30:14 home, me and my sister. And when he came in the door, the first words that I shared with him, some of my first words ever were shoes off. And it was in that moment that my dad realized that I just I couldn't wait for him
30:26 to come through that door just to like get everything else away from in a sense his world of work and his profession and just to fully be there. And so my dad always encourages people now. Be there. Like
30:37 actually be there. It's what doctor Dobson tells him all the time. It's what I try to practice in my own life. We talked about rest. We talked about savoring. And I think of, just the verse in Matthew 11 28. Come to me
30:49 all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. I think Deborah, we all struggle with sometimes Trying to make rest the goal rather than realizing it's the byproduct of spending
31:01 time in his presence, of savoring the moments that we have at the foot of the cross, at the feet of Jesus. And so just speak to the maybe the person out there today who just feels like they're running and they just
31:13 can't quite stop and they're not under they really don't understand why they're running at the level that they're at. They just wanna do something significant in this life. Yeah. But they're missing those moments ofShow more
Comments No comments yet. Start the conversation.
Zach Clinton
Comments
Keep it kind. Comments are public.