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Nina and Michelle, are best friends with a passion for the Lord. They bring uplifting conversations, encouragement, and shared personal stories of overcoming and victory straight to your screen.
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Journey of Overcoming Abuse 0:02 We wanna honor God because He sees everything.0:10 You were born with a plan and a purpose. He's the god of all things possible. He's the god of all0:22 miracles.0:52 Welcome to Grace Grace with Naina Michelle. I'm Michelle Humphreys.0:56 And I am Naina Keegan. Welcome to our broadcast today. Today, we have a very special guest. You know, she's a friend of ours that that, we have met through NRB, and she has such a powerful story. Michelle, you wanna1:08 do the intro?1:09 Yes. It's for those of you who have been abused in any way, sexually, emotionally, physically, this is a book you're gonna wanna1:21 get and a story you're gonna wanna hear. Ruth Valor grew up in the south side of Chicago is and is an overcomer of abuse. She is founder and president of Ministry Journey1:33 of Hope. She now lives in Florida, and she has 2 grown children. Will you please welcome Ruth1:40 Fowler. Welcome, Ruth. Hey, Ruth. Welcome to the show. So we just love your spirit. We love your story. You are such an overcomer. And, you know, your walk with Christ1:53 is is what has helped you overcome the abuses in your life. Do you wanna touch on some of the things that you've gone through, so that people can know? I know it started when you were just a small2:05 child. And so if you wanna go through some of the things that that you have been through in your life.2:11 Yes. Absolutely. Thank you so much, Nina and Michelle, for having me on your show. I truly appreciate it. And as you mentioned, I have experienced all2:23 5 forms of abuse. As early as 3 years old, I experienced sexual abuse. But before I go a little bit into sharing my story, I'd2:35 like to share with you what the 5 forms of abuse are. They are physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and economic abuse.2:47 And I've experienced all 5 forms throughout my life. And my abuses started as beyond just 3 years old by a babysitter. It was a male2:59 babysitter and at age 5, a female babysitter and then in middle school and I've experienced abusive relationships. The3:13 when I was a child, it was sexual abuse that I experienced and, that is how this3:25 journey began. And throughout my life, I've had abusive marriages and they were more so economic3:37 and, psychological and emotional abuse that I've experienced.3:41 Do you think that your experience as a child led you to more abusive relationships as an adult?3:52 Do you think3:52 you were drawn to people maybe with familiar spirits or something that drew you to them, maybe that you just seem familiar?4:04 Yes. And, that is that is how this all began because of the abuse that I experienced as early on in life as those ages. And 1 thing that4:16 I've learned is that, well, throughout my throughout my life, I searched for love and significance outside of my home because I never really experienced that. I didn't know what it was.4:29 And it was until my mom's, a boyfriend of hers, who I considered as my stepfather, he was the only person that I felt4:41 that showed me love. And, because of that, it did lead me down a path, of having, like, really bad relationships.4:53 And I didn't know, you know, they say hurt people hurt people, so I guess I was drawn to, men that were broken as well.5:03 Do you think that, I know a lot of people who go through kinds different kinds of abuses literally, the they take on sort of a victim mentality, like, in5:15 some way that they deserved it. Like, that's what the devil does. Like, he brings it on, like like, it's my fault that that like, especially if you're physically abused. You know, like, in some ways, you think, oh, I5:26 guess I'll be better. I'll try to I'll try to behave more. I'll try to do something. And and and that is, you know, I I think sometimes people walk in that mindset that in some5:38 regards it's their fault, like if they're abused in a marriage or they're abused by a parent. And and so did you ever have any of those issues where you thought like, oh, I can do better or I can be better or I can5:49 become this other person, you know, always striving to to, have that person treat you better or like you. You think it's your fault. Did you experience those kinds of things at all?5:59 It was 1 of those situations where I'll use my father as an example because he wasn't present in my life. And it was 1 of those situations where I accepted6:11 what men gave me. Meaning I was I was searching for love and significance and I was so desperate just to be loved and to be in a relationship and to feel6:22 love, I just settled for, crumbs. So it was 1 of those situations where I allowed for, I allowed for myself to be treated,6:34 badly because I didn't know what being treated well was like and I didn't learn that until after my relationship with Christ. So I was always in6:46 relationships where they were one-sided. It was always me, giving. It was always me striving to make it better and they were not,7:00 I guess they didn't have the emotional capacity capacity to show me love or to give me love because they were broken also. So it was 1 of those situations7:11 where the relationships that I had were always relationships with men that were dysfunctional too. As far as7:25 how I felt at that time, I had no feelings because I didn't know that I was broken. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not.7:33 You just became numb. Is that what you're saying?7:36 Yes. I was numb. I was numb, and I had no idea what a good relationship was like compared to the bad relationships that I had.7:46 Because you think that's normal. That becomes your normal sometimes. You're so used to it that you don't even think otherwise or that things could be better or that you deserve better to be treated better because that7:57 becomes it's basically your mentality that that you have allowed these kinds of things in in a way that you don't even recognize. And, and that's very common for for people who have gone through8:09 different abuses and and things like that. Ruth, we're gonna take a quick break and we're gonna come right back and we're gonna talk more about your story. Thank you so much. We'll be right back. Stay right there. You're8:18 watching Grace Grace with Nina and Michelle.8:21 Hello, everyone. I'm excited to announce the next generation of energy drinks, Rev 7. It has no sugar and no caffeine. Instead, Rev 7 uses goBHB.8:33 GoBHB is 1 of the body's primary ketones, and it provides the most efficient and clean fuel that your body needs. It also helps you stay energized all day with no crashes.8:46 Not only that, it produces 3 times more brain energy than sugar, which helps boost your memory, focus, and mental sharpness. It also helps reduce stress and helps balance your mood.8:57 Rev 7 does all that while being the best tasting energy drink ever. So go to my pillow dot com or call the number on your screen. Use your promo code to save 20 percent today. I'm so sure9:09 you're gonna love Rev 7. For a limited time, you get our introductory 3 pack absolutely free. I drink Rev 7 every day, and I absolutely love it, and so will you.9:21 Welcome back to Grace Grace with Naina Michelle. We are here with Ruth Fowler. She is the author of the book Journey of Hope, and I think that, everybody needs to get a copy of9:33 this. Now Ruth, tell us, you have been through all 5 forms of abuse, and then something happened. You said you were numb.9:45 You you were just probably just a shell at that point. Tell us what happened and how you met the Lord.9:57 That's so true. Yes. I was a shell, and, I was in my second marriage. And the man that I was married to, he was emotionally abusive to me, more10:09 so economically and verbally. And I had reached like rock bottom in that relationship. I was at the point where I wanted to10:20 leave but I couldn't leave because I had 2 small children depending on me at the time. So it was a battle for me. It was a real struggle and it wasn't until,10:34 just as I mentioned to you I hit rock bottom that it just got to the point where I just had to do something. A certain situation10:46 transpired that I share in my book and it was when I was arrested. And I don't know if you want me to go into details of that story.11:00 So my daughter came home from school. She was in middle school at the time and she wasn't feeling well and at the time, she was in seventh grade and, you know, she was a11:12 teenager, well, a young teen and you know how, kids go through difficulties and problems and sometimes they don't want to talk about it. They just want to11:24 be left alone. So when she yeah. Yes. So she came home from school this particular day and I could tell that something was bothering her11:36 and I tried to talk to her about it and she just didn't want to have a conversation with me about it. So I every time I, you know, would ask11:48 her, hey, you know, share with me what's going on, she continued to say that she didn't want to. And my ex husband at the time, he was my second husband. Unfortunately, I've been12:00 married twice and, he heard, you know, us going back and forth and he stepped in and basically said12:12 to her that he didn't like how she was responding to me, you know, he didn't see how upset she was. He didn't pick up12:24 on her feelings or anything like that. So he thought that he'd step in. And at that time, they my kids went to a private school12:36 and their school won state championship for basketball. And he felt that she shouldn't be able she shouldn't be allowed to12:48 go to the state championship game because he thought that she was disrespecting me. And I didn't feel that way about it and I thought that he was over stepping the boundaries because it was13:00 an agreement with her when it came to his kids, an agreement with me when it came to his kids that, you know, he disciplined his kids and when it came to my children, I disciplined my children13:13 and he just thought, okay, I'm going to take this away from you because I don't like how you're speaking to your mom and I thought that it was a little over the top what he did. She ended up writing13:25 an apology letter but she did not write the apology letter to me. She wrote it to him. She told him that she was sorry and that wasn't good enough for him. So I13:37 just thought the punishment would be that she can go to the game but she's not going to ride on the school bus with her13:49 classmates. She'll ride in the car with me because I planned on going to help support their school. So we woke up, the14:00 day of the event. I woke up 6 o'clock in the morning, got dressed, you know, I told my kids that I told her that she was able to go and,14:14 as I was getting dressed and after I finished getting dressed, he heard, he heard me. So he woke up and he asked me where I was going and I just14:25 basically told him that we were going to go to the gang, you know, the children and I and that particular day he was furious. So what he did was he14:37 started screaming and shouting at me and, he wanted me to, gift him his credit card.14:50 In that relationship, he never gave me money. He gave me a credit card and we never we didn't have any accounts together or any credit cards together.15:02 So his form of punishment is he would allow me to use his credit card, but if it was something that he didn't like or disapproved of with me, he would take his credit card away from15:14 me.15:14 Like you were a child. Mhmm.15:16 Absolutely. Yeah. Yes. Yes. So he told me to give him his credit card, and I had my purse on my shoulders. So instead of him allowing me to give15:28 him the credit card, he ended up grabbing my purse and he ran off towards our bathroom and I reacted to that. So what I15:40 did was I ran after him and he was only wearing his underpants. So I reached out and at the time, I had really long fingernails.15:52 So when I reached out, I inadvertently scratched him on his back. And I was, asking him to give me my purse back16:04 and the kids heard everything that was going on in the bedroom with us and they were standing outside the door. So I just told my daughter to call the16:16 police and the reason I told her to call the police is because I guess I got to a point where I just, I just couldn't take it anymore. Meaning I just, I16:28 was hoping that when the police came that they would tell him, Hey man, you know, this, you're abusing your wife, you know, and I was hoping that16:39 somehow they would be able to help him, not only help him but help him see how he was towards me. And, when the policeFinding Hope and Healing in Christ 16:51 came, they asked me to go outside of the home, which I did. And when I went outside, there were several police17:03 cars parked down our street. And I immediately went to the first cop that was there and, you know, I told him, you know, who I was17:14 and told him about everything, you know, that happened. So he asked me to just stay outside while they went in to interview my ex17:26 husband and when they they interviewed him and then they came back to me and when they came back to talk to me they just basically said that it was an unfortunate17:38 situation and they just basically said that they had to arrest me and the reason they arrested me was because he has scratches on his back which I did not know17:50 that I did. So I ended up spending a night in jail. So Well,17:57 Ruth, we are gonna take a quick break. And when we come back, we're gonna find out the end of the story and how you met the Lord. So we'll be right back. Okay. You're watching Grace with18:09 9 and Michelle.18:10 Hello, everyone. I'm excited to announce the next generation of energy drinks, Rev 7. It has no sugar and no caffeine. Instead, Rev 7 uses go b h18:22 b. Go b h b is 1 of the body's primary ketones, and it provides the most efficient and clean fuel that your body needs. It also helps you stay energized all day with no18:34 crashes. Not only that, it produces 3 times more brain energy than sugar, which helps boost your memory, focus, and mental sharpness. It also helps reduce stress and helps balance18:46 your mood. Rev 7 does all that while being the best tasting energy drink ever. So go to my pillow dot com or call the number on your screen. Use your promo code to save 20 percent today.18:58 I'm so sure you're gonna love Rev 7. For a limited time, you get our introductory 3 pack absolutely free. I drink Rev 7 every day, and I absolutely love it, and so will you.19:11 Welcome back to Grace Grace with Naina and Michelle and our guest Ruth Valor. And she is telling us a story about what she went through and you were just telling us that you spent the night in jail. And19:22 so through these kinds of difficulties and things you went through, which just seemed insurmountable at the time, how did you meet the Lord through this time?19:33 Well, it was well, it was because of this that I just got to a point where I just could not live a life like that. And19:46 it was through a, employer of mine who told me about a church that he went to and I ended up going to that church and that was19:58 when I gave my life to Christ. You know, it was the first time that I stepped foot in that church. When the pastor did the altar call, I was just at a point20:09 where You just surrendered needed him Yes. Surrendered my life to him. And how20:15 were things different after you surrendered your life to the lord?20:20 Well, it's different in so many ways, but I would like to share to you that I've learned that god uses seasons of waiting to prepare us for what's coming to draw us closer to20:32 him and to make sure his promises are fulfilled at the proper time. There's a pastor, the Cranks, and, pastor20:44 Cranks' wife, Nicole Cranks, once said that, god doesn't rescue us from the very thing he is using as a vehicle to bless us. Sometimes that thing is a struggle.20:56 And I had so many struggles in my life pertaining to abuse as I shared with you, and I'm grateful and thankful that I was able to identify21:08 it. I was able to acknowledge and tell the truth so that I could heal. And,21:16 God doesn't grace anything, you know, like, when you see that, like, all of your struggles and everything you went through, you know, finally, you know, God allowed that so that you would basically come21:28 to your own end, so that you could meet him and and be saved. And now, through your story, your testimony, because the Bible says, we overcome through the blood of the lamb and the words of our21:40 testimony. So you testifying and writing your story, you know, is going to help so many people who are going through these kinds of things and maybe don't know the Lord or or just maybe,21:52 you know, are backslidden or whatever the case may be. And so you have a powerful testimony that Jesus changed your life. And so now you're walking with the Lord. How about your22:04 children? Are your children serving the Lord? Do you do you have you seen their lives turn around? See, it's exponential. Right?22:12 Mhmm. It is. It truly is. I have. And, actually, my son, he's a pastor at a church in Florida. And my daughter, she's a Christian. She gave all of us gave our lives to22:24 Christ.22:24 Praise the22:25 lord. And we follow him wholeheartedly.22:27 God will.22:28 You know, the Bible says, believe in the lord Jesus Christ, you will be saved, you and your household. And so even in these, through these abusive situations, there's hope. And that's why you wrote the book.22:40 So how has your walk with Christ help you helped you to overcome abuse?22:46 It's helped me overcome abuse in so many ways. First of all, it helped it's my walk with Christ, just as I mentioned has helped me to acknowledge, has helped me to tell the truth so22:58 that I'm able to heal and well I was able to heal because I have overcome it and that was so important for me And, I've learned how to23:09 build boundaries. I've learned how to love myself. I've learned how to use my voice and I've I've just learned how to23:21 just take care of that little girl inside of me, that little girl that was abused, and to learn how to, identify what's healthy and what's not healthy.23:33 And that's so true because, you know, that's the thing when you start many times before you know the Lord, you keep repeating the patterns because the devil uses those. We have a fly in here. So so23:46 the devil keeps using the same old things, you know, because that's what works and he pushes the same old buttons and so it's until we see that and give that all to the Lord, we're going to keep going through those kinds23:56 of things. So where can people find your book? What what what a great story and thank you for sharing with us. But how can they find you? Tell us where they can find your book and your website24:08 and and, where they can get a hold of you.24:12 Well, my website, they can find my book, of course, on my website. And my website is journey of hope dot net. And, they can find my book at Barnes and Noble online,24:24 Amazon, Books a Million, Target, Walmart, all of these stores online. Or you can just Google, Journey of Hope by Ruth Valor,24:36 and you'll and there are other listings as well.24:40 We are so grateful. You know, like the bible talks about comfort those with the same comfort you yourself received, and you have done this in this book. And I believe that if you are24:52 walking through any abuse, any kind of abuse, you know, I never even thought about economic abuse, but my goodness. What what an important part of abuse. I mean, if if if they25:04 can withhold the purse strings. Right? So this is something that will be informational. I think you will really enjoy it, and it will help you to overcome any type of of emotional abuse,25:15 any type of physical abuse, which where you can separate yourself from it and find the hope that Ruth Valor has found. We love you so much, Ruth. You are so precious in the Lord.25:27 We we so enjoyed our time that we spent with you in Dallas and, Bear Warrior too. Bear Warrior.25:34 So we just knew that we had to have you on, and so thanks so much for your story. And, we just pray that, that this book just blesses the masses and, helps people to overcome just like you did.25:46 So25:46 And we wanna pray for those of you who feel like you're walking through that. So, Lord, we pray right now for those who are walking through any abuse of any kind. We pray, father, that they will be that the25:58 that manipulation will be broken, and they will no longer walk in that. And that, father, that they will have victory, they will have hope, and God that you will give them a hope and a future. In26:10 Jesus' name, amen. Amen.26:12 Amen. Amen.26:14 So thank you so much for watching our program today. We are so grateful to you, our viewers, our partners. God bless you. Head on over to social media where you can find all kinds of information. You can leave us your26:26 prayer request. You can leave us your praise report. You can find us on pray dot com and all over social media and all other TV stations. You can just put us in Google and it'll all come up. Stay tuned. You're gonna26:37 wanna hear from Daryl Youngblood. We love you. God bless you.26:40 If you wanna be equipped to defend against the biggest objections to the existence of God, r d o f is the place for26:51 you. Has science really ruled out God? Is faith at war with science? If you wanna be equipped to respond to these claims and more, check out r d o f dot org.27:09 The evidence he presents is so powerful and overwhelming.27:12 Incredibly compelling, yet easily understandable.27:15 We believe in rationality. We believe in reason. We believe in science, and we believe in the existence of God.27:22 I would leave every event with a mind boggling awe and assurance.27:28 I never believed in God. I just think it was craziness. RDOF confirmed my faith. RDOF confirmed my full belief, full faith in the Lord, man.27:39 The appearance27:39 of design in the universe is undeniable. The appearance of design in the universe is undeniable.27:46 The lights, the crowd, the videos.27:51 To book a presentation or watch our free videos, go to r d o f dot org or find us on Facebook at RDOF events. Why do atheists care so much about Christians anyway?28:04 Well, they'll tell you this. Religion is bad. It's the cause of most wars. But again, evidence shows differently. It shows that out of 1763 documented wars,28:15 only a hundred and 23 were due to religion. That's between 6 and 7 percent. When you take out Islam, that only leaves 3 percent of all wars that could be attributed to religion.In this video 0:00 Journey of Overcoming Abuse16:48 Finding Hope and Healing in Christ
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