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Envy, Jealousy & Finding Contentment
March 13, 2025 · 59 min
Do you have a hard time being content? At the heart of discontentment, envy, and jealousy are often at work.
In this episode, Haley and Dustin discuss what the Bible says about envy and jealousy. They explore the difference between the two, common signs of envy and jealousy and the impact these emotions can have in our lives. With biblical insights and practical steps, they share how to overcome these damaging emotions and find true, lasting contentment in Christ.
Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit.
So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means
everything.
Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart.
Listen in to learn more :
(03:17) Exploring Jealousy in Religious Context
(06:09) Scripture as a Guide and Guardrails
(14:57) Understanding Envy and Jealousy
(22:28) Idolizing Success and Happiness
(30:13) Balancing Others' Expectations and Self-Worth
(33:58) Overcoming Temptation and Gratitude
(43:04) When Jealousy Is a Good Thing
(51:43) Self-Reflection and Music for Emotional Healing
Hope for the Heart resources:
Book on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy
Video course on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy-video-course
Connect with Hope for the Heart on social!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart
Learn more about the ministry and resources of Hope for the Heart: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/
Learn more about Hope Talks and catch up on past episodes: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/hopetalks/
Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night
God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/
Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON
----------------------------
Bible verses mentioned in this episode:
Genesis 3; 4 :1-8: Adam and Eve; Cain & Abel stories
Exodus 20:4-5: “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.
Exodus 20:17 -- “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Proverbs 14:30: “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”
Proverbs 23:17: “Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD.”
Mark 7:21-23: For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thought come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”
Romans 12:15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
2 Corinthians 11:21: “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.”
Galatians 5:19-21: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy …”
Philippians 4:11-13: I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him, who gives me strength.
James 3:16: “For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
Hebrews 13:5: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”
Series Hope Talks March 13, 2025 · 59 min · Hope Talks
Do you have a hard time being content? At the heart of discontentment, envy, and jealousy are often at work. In this episode, Haley and Dustin discuss what the Bible says about envy and jealousy. They explore the difference between the two, common signs of envy and jealousy and the impact these emotions can have in our lives. With biblical insights and practical steps, they share how to overcome these damaging emotions and find true, lasting contentment in Christ. Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit. So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means everything. Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart. Listen in to learn more : (03:17) Exploring Jealousy in Religious Context (06:09) Scripture as a Guide and Guardrails (14:57) Understanding Envy and Jealousy (22:28) Idolizing Success and Happiness (30:13) Balancing Others' Expectations and Self-Worth (33:58) Overcoming Temptation and Gratitude (43:04) When Jealousy Is a Good Thing (51:43) Self-Reflection and Music for Emotional Healing Hope for the Heart resources: Book on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy Video course on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy-video-course Connect with Hope for the Heart on social! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart Learn more about the ministry and resources of Hope for the Heart: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/ Learn more about Hope Talks and catch up on past episodes: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/hopetalks/ Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/ Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON ---------------------------- Bible verses mentioned in this episode: Genesis 3; 4 :1-8: Adam and Eve; Cain & Abel stories Exodus 20:4-5: “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God. Exodus 20:17 -- “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Proverbs 14:30: “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.” Proverbs 23:17: “Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD.” Mark 7:21-23: For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thought come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.” Romans 12:15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” 2 Corinthians 11:21: “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.” Galatians 5:19-21: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy …” Philippians 4:11-13: I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him, who gives me strength. James 3:16: “For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” Hebrews 13:5: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’” ...more Show the full description Show less Do you have a hard time being content? At the heart of discontentment, envy, and jealousy are often at work.
In this episode, Haley and Dustin discuss what the Bible says about envy and jealousy. They explore the difference between the two, common signs of envy and jealousy and the impact these emotions can have in our lives. With biblical insights and practical steps, they share how to overcome these damaging emotions and find true, lasting contentment in Christ.
Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit.
So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means
everything.
Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart.
Listen in to learn more :
(03:17) Exploring Jealousy in Religious Context
(06:09) Scripture as a Guide and Guardrails
(14:57) Understanding Envy and Jealousy
(22:28) Idolizing Success and Happiness
(30:13) Balancing Others' Expectations and Self-Worth
(33:58) Overcoming Temptation and Gratitude
(43:04) When Jealousy Is a Good Thing
(51:43) Self-Reflection and Music for Emotional Healing
Hope for the Heart resources:
Book on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy
Video course on Envy & Jealousy: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/store/product/envy-jealousy-video-course
Connect with Hope for the Heart on social!
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart
Learn more about the ministry and resources of Hope for the Heart: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/
Learn more about Hope Talks and catch up on past episodes: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/hopetalks/
Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night
God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/
Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON
----------------------------
Bible verses mentioned in this episode:
Genesis 3; 4 :1-8: Adam and Eve; Cain & Abel stories
Exodus 20:4-5: “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God.
Exodus 20:17 -- “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
Proverbs 14:30: “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”
Proverbs 23:17: “Do not let your heart envy sinners, but always be zealous for the fear of the LORD.”
Mark 7:21-23: For it is from within, out of a person’s heart, that evil thought come—sexual immorality, theft, murder, 22adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. 23 All these evils come from inside and defile a person.”
Romans 12:15: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”
2 Corinthians 11:21: “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy.”
Galatians 5:19-21: “The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, and envy …”
Philippians 4:11-13: I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him, who gives me strength.
James 3:16: “For where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.”
Hebrews 13:5: “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”
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0:00 But yeah, it just fill in the blank for anyone listening. I need blank in order to be successful, in order to be feel significant, in order to be happy, in order to feel comforted, in order to0:11 feel like I have my life has meaning, like, whatever that thing is. And if I'm envious of that or jealously guarding that, that can be an indication of I might have made this more important than God.0:23 Welcome to Hope Talks. We're your hosts. I'm Haley Scully along with Dustin Anderson, and we wanna give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life because hope means everything.0:37 Okay, Haley. Today, we are talking about envy and jealousy.0:41 The terrible twins.0:42 The terrible twins. That's right. We have a Keys for Living book on this and a video course. I do wanna mention that up front, but it is something scripture talks surprisingly a0:54 lot about. When we initially planned this episode, I was kinda thinking, this is 1 of those topics that I don't really deal too much with, and there's just probably not1:04 You've already been sanctified in these areas.1:05 I've already grown so much, and I'm a master of contentment. But then I the more I got into scripture, was like, wow. Scripture talks a lot about this. And so I wanted to share some of those upfront. But first, I wanted1:17 to mention that Hope for the Heart has a new web website.1:21 And I1:21 am so excited for it. And I wanna give a shout out to our team, especially Steve and Julian, who have done such a great job leading that and helping us get that new website live. But it has just really
1:33 great Yeah. Look, design, like improved search features so you can find all of our biblical resources and answers to all of the topics that we discuss. Yeah. And so hope for the heart dot org, I
1:45 encourage everyone to go there.
1:46 When you search topics even, you're linking some of the Hope Talks episodes to it. Yeah. If we talked about a specific topic and you, like, search purpose in life or you search some those will pop up. So I think it'll
1:57 really help people find some of the resources and some of the help.
2:01 Yeah. So whether it's our books, video courses, yeah, the podcast, June, Hope in the Night, like, all those episodes are on there. So just a treasure of resources.
2:11 A treasure.
2:12 A treasure trove.
2:12 Yeah. I like it.
2:13 So I encourage everyone, hope for the heart dot org. Check that out.
2:16 Yeah. We're excited.
2:17 So envy and jealousy.
2:18 Envy and gel don't be envious or jealous of our new website. I don't know. Did that land? Yeah. That's good.
2:25 But let's share some scriptures on this. So K. I would kind of argue envy and jealousy could almost go back to Genesis 3 and the fall. Uh-huh. Because you kind of could read that story
2:37 of Adam and Eve looking at the fruit, seeing it was pleasing to the eye and for wisdom and all of that. And there's kind of this sense of God's holding out on me. There's something that that
2:49 I want that he's not giving me and it's kind of an envy there. Mhmm. And so you could take it all the way back to Genesis 3. And definitely, Genesis 4, the Cain and Abel story of Mhmm. Cain, his sacrifice wasn't
3:00 accepted, but Abel's was. And then within, like, 2 verses later, he's taken him out to the field to Yeah. Mhmm. So, I mean, these are the oldest emotions in some sense. This is like kind of page
3:12 1, page 2 type of stuff in the Bible. Yeah. But then also, it carries on. So even in Exodus, in the giving of the 10 commandments, the tenth commandment, you shall not covet. I mean, the word covet there
3:24 is what's usually used, but it's kind of a very related term to
3:28 Yeah.
3:28 Being envious of what your neighbor has. And so, it's even in the 10 commandments. But then there's another side to it where in 1 of the I think it's the second commandment where in Exodus 20 where God says, you shall
3:40 not make an image in the form of anything. You shall not bow down to any image or worship them for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God. So there's a sense in which there's a good
3:52 side to it and there's a bad side to it because even God refers to himself as a jealous God. And so we'll get into the definitions in a little bit, but there's a sense of protecting what's yours that's good.
4:04 New good jealousy.
4:05 In jealousy. But then there's, you know, there's a sense in which it can become an idol or something that you're clinging to
4:11 Yeah.
4:11 Too much. A couple more scriptures just on the impact of envy and jealousy. Proverbs 14 30 says, a tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy
4:23 makes the bones rot. I love that Rotten bones. But, yeah, it just Yeah. It saps away your life. It saps away your strength and, you know, it weakens you. And then James
4:35 3 16 says, for where envy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder in every vile practice. I feel like that was a very strong statement because
4:47 it's like, he's saying underneath every vile thing, there could be envy or selfish ambition or pride or jealousy. And so it's like, these are really
5:00 strong statements and kind of strong emotions that kinda do that can influence our decisions, our behavior, and things like that. Yeah. And then just 1 or 2 more I wanna share. I know this is quite a
5:11 bit, but envy is also mentioned in Galatians 5, like, right before the fruit of the spirit. Sometimes we forget that right before that, there's, like, the acts of the flesh, which is like pride and
5:23 drunkenness and all these things, and he lists envy as 1 of them. And then in Mark 7, Jesus says, when he says, you know, out of the overflow of the heart come evil thoughts, all these things, and he also lists
5:35 envy and jealousy in that list as well. So it is there's a lot, and that's just there's way more I could share on that. But these are old emotions in some sense, goes all the way back to the beginning to the
5:46 fall. They can really impact our lives in real ways. And then also, they're just there's so many scriptures that kind of caution us against them, caution us against
5:59 greed, and which is kind of related to this, and envy, and and how it can just kind of be underneath a lot of the behaviors that we
6:08 have. I think that 1 of the things I love about the keys and what we share in Hope Talks, it's such a good example. You know, we talk a lot about how scriptures are
6:20 foundation, and we go back to the word, and it helps guide us, and it helps teach us. And, you know, it's living and active. We say all of these things. And I think there's a lot of people that don't maybe
6:31 they know Jesus. They've accepted the Lord. Maybe they go to church, but they don't necessarily I'm saying they, but I realized this in my own life. Like, I knew the stories of
6:43 scripture, Jesus and Noah's ark, and I I knew a lot of those things, and I came to believe in who Jesus was. But when we talk about an everyday issue like
6:55 envy and jealousy and we may not think it's that big of a deal. Like, oh, I'm envious of that, or I'm so jealous of that, you know, or what however we might phrase it. But when you
7:07 hear those scriptures
7:08 Mhmm.
7:09 It's those guardrails. When you're practicing reading the word of God Yeah. These things start to get in us, and it starts to be innate to caution
7:20 ourselves against directions we may go in. You know? So when it says that envy rots the bones, you know, that is pretty descriptive. And it's like, okay. This is something
7:33 that first of all, where might I realize that there's envy in my life? And how is that maybe rotting my bones? What is that you know, how is that
7:44 being expressed? I'm just saying, like, looking at scripture, these are perfect examples of how scripture actively helps to guide us, give us guardrails, give us cautions, help us to,
7:56 like, analyze where am I in these spectrums of things. And it also helps us peel back the layers when we're looking at other things that are happening around us. If envy is at the root of a lot
8:08 of evil deeds, well, if I'm seeing evil deeds in my home, in my community, and whatever, it helps me have a wisdom and a discernment to kind of
8:20 peel those layers down and realize this is an issue, like you said, that starts in the beginning of Genesis, and how would God have me address it? So I just love the demonstration
8:32 of how scripture can help us in these
8:35 different things. I feel like in a good way, it takes some of these emotions and issues that we deal with and gives them an appropriate amount of seriousness.
8:43 Yeah.
8:44 So envy or jealousy, we might think of that as kind of like, oh, I struggle a little bit with that or Yeah. Or not really. But when you go through scripture and, you know, see some of these, you know, verses like I've
8:56 shared, it's kind of like, oh, this is actually something I should deal with. Yeah. And even if it's not a big thing, scripture still talks about it, and it's still something that, you know, God cautions us against and
9:06 wants us to deal with.
9:07 And not just should deal with it, but I'm able to deal with Like, once we realize it, again, we say it over and over. It's not to condemn you. You have a jealousy problem. You have an envy problem.
9:19 It's like, hey. You can be set free of that. Yeah. Like, with a little bit of work and a little bit of insight and a little bit of practice, you can adjust yourself so that your bones don't get rot, you which
9:31 is That was gonna stick
9:32 with you, isn't it?
9:33 Yeah. It is. I'm gonna say
9:34 Well, it's a vivid image. And I think that's the thing. It, like, it makes it kind of I love the imagery of scripture. A lot of times, it it creates these, you know, pictures that kind of stick with you. Yeah. Yeah.
9:46 It's another thing to just for so many issues in life. Like, you don't have to wait until it becomes a full blown
9:54 Right.
9:54 Thing that's overtaking your life. Like, you don't have to hit rock bottom. Like, it's good to deal with the issues that might be a minor thing right now. So even if it is a minor thing
10:03 It's a little red light. Yeah. Yeah. Let's adjust it. Yeah. You know, I think it the easy thing to do in today's culture is to be like, social media and
10:14 the, you know, TV and movies and all the things that are prompting us to be envious or maybe triggering us to have jealousy or all of these types of things. Listen. We are
10:26 born in the world. We're of this world. Like, we're here. We're in the world, not of it. What's that whole, like Mhmm. Kind of cheesy cliche thing that we say on T shirts? Anyways,
10:38 so, like, we're here, and we don't have to shut down. We don't have to isolate. The whole point is to reflect Christ in the midst of these things. Now for some people, if if they
10:49 recognize a specific thing that does trigger them that does, maybe they do need to fast from it for a time. Maybe they need to walk away a little bit and kind of just get realigned. So it's not like
11:01 to shame people for liking to follow their Instagram person or see their recipes or think, oh, they have a beautiful home. I'm gonna paint my walls that color of taupe. You know, whatever the whatever the deal is.
11:13 It's okay to look and see beautiful things and then to kind of learn from that and grow from that. It's when you do that little gut check that says, this is an issue. I'm striving
11:25 to be more like this person, or I feel like I'm comparing. We're gonna get into some of the things that cause envy that can grow that in us. But let's talk about it's 1 of my favorite things
11:37 because it never really clicked on the difference of envy and jealousy. Like, they're just kind of synonymous. But I saw June teach on it, and I was like, ugh.
11:45 Oh, yeah.
11:46 That makes perfect sense. So I'm gonna say it. I'm sorry. Like, I don't know if you were planning on doing the whole, like
11:51 The empty hand side?
11:52 Yes. No.
11:52 It's good. I think we should definitely cover the definitions and the difference.
11:56 Okay. Good. So we'll get into kind of more of the technical. But I think a really easy way to say it is envy is an empty hand wanting to be filled. Mhmm. So envy
12:08 is I see something. I don't have that. I want that. Okay? Scripture says that envy is never good. It's never good. So there's never a time where envy is good. You're
12:18 Never in a positive light.
12:20 Never positive. Jealousy is a full hand
12:24 Yeah.
12:24 Not wanting to be emptied. So jealousy is when you have something and you wanna hold on to it. So if other people start to eyeball it, you start to get jealous of it. Yep. Sometimes jealousy
12:36 is good. Yeah. And so we'll we can talk a little bit about that, but that's why God can be jealous for us because we're his. When he sees things
12:45 protective.
12:45 Yeah. When he sees our bones being tempted to rot, he's jealous for us, and he comes to help us with his word and his spirit. So envy, an empty hand that's wanting to be filled, and
12:57 jealousy is a filled hand that's wanting to protect. And protect sometimes good. Yeah. But sometimes we can get overly jealous. Yeah. Walk us out.
13:05 Yeah. I'm gonna go through a couple more of the differences and give some of the definitions up front. But I think having those distinctions is really good.
13:12 Yeah. So I'm really proud of how my hand motions No. I was, like, all in the drama of that.
13:18 No. I think June's teaching on that has definitely 1 of the things that have stuck with me over the years.
13:23 Yeah. It makes a lot of sense.
13:25 So a definition of envy, feeling resentful about the advantages, possessions, successes of another person with an intense desire to possess what they have. Mhmm. That's more along the lines of coveting, which scripture
13:37 would call coveting, longing for what belongs to another person. And then jealousy, feeling fiercely protective over one's own rights or possession with a, you know, a desire to vigilantly guard
13:48 them. And then there's a positive and a negative side to that of feeling kind of selfishly possessive based on a feeling of ownership of not wanting to give away what you have, kind of lacking generosity. But then on the
14:00 good side, having a loyal kind of protectiveness when you have a relationship with someone like God's relationship with us or for your spouse or or your kids, like, those are things you hold on to and wanna protect.
14:11 Right. But on the differences, yeah, envy, empty hands wanting to be filled, jealousy, full hands fearing to be emptied. Envy is a burning desire to get something. Jealousy is a burning desire to keep
14:23 something. Envy is craving what another person has. Jealousy is clinging to what someone has. So envy is focused on gaining. Jealousy is focused on losing. And then envy is
14:35 rooted in ambitious pride. Jealousy is rooted in anxious fear, like fearing that this thing is gonna be taken away from me. Yeah. And then kind of a good summary, especially with our relationship with God
14:47 is, envy says that we do not trust that God will give us what we need, and jealousy says that we fear that he will take from us what we need or want. So Yeah. There's kind of
14:59 some distinctions there.
15:01 Yeah. So for everybody that's listening, if anybody is like, oh, that makes sense. Like, I was the first time I heard this. Because like I said before, envy and jealousy, they're the same thing. You know? But
15:14 that is such a clean demonstration of the power of definitions. Yeah. We talk about the different sections of our topics. When we just kind of ever go, like, oh, I struggle with
15:26 addiction. I struggle with anger. I struggle with envy or jealousy. Blah blah blah. Well, when we sorry that I cut myself off and blah blah blah myself a lot. I've heard that in multiple
15:38 where I'm really saying something, and then I just wrap it up with the blah blah blah.
15:43 I'm working on my likes and my, you know, s.
15:45 Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. So we're we're
15:48 We're growing.
15:49 We're growing. We're growing. But definitions, it clarifies for us. So I can say it is right for me to be envious of certain things that maybe God
16:01 has called good. It makes sense to desire things that God has called good and recognizing the difference or being able to sort through the difference in envy
16:13 and desire. An envy and just a, oh, I wanna work towards that, or I see somebody's success in that, and I think that's a great role model. And not that
16:24 I'm envious of their successes, but I desire to achieve in my way those same things or things that are similar.
16:36 So, like, with everything that we deal with, it goes back to the heart. Where is my heart in this, and how am I being prompted? Am I being inspired? Am I being
16:48 encouraged? Is that instilling in me a character, a dignity, a purpose? Like, what is that doing to me? Or am I being
16:59 tempted to be bitter? Am I being tempted to be frustrated that I'm not seeing the same level of successes as that person? It just goes back to the heart. So when we define
17:11 things, and I think envy and jealousy are such moments, when we define things, that is 1 of the first keys in then being transformed. Because
17:23 now I know what I'm dealing with. Because not everybody that wants something else, not everybody that has an empty hand needing to be filled Yep. Is struggling with envy. Yeah.
17:35 But let's clarify it. Let's define it. Let's gut check it. Let's ask God, am I desiring something good, or am I being tempted to have
17:46 envy? And it's that bone rot thing that I'm real proud to bring up again. But it's that bone rot that can help us know what direction am I going in. Am I grieving? Am I
17:57 frustrated? Are my bones rotting because I'm not seeing some of the goodness of the Lord that I would anticipate to see? And that is shutting me down instead of inspiring me
18:09 to rise up and seek what he has for me.
18:12 Yeah. This topic has made me think a lot about just kind of what is healthy desire versus unhealthy desire. Because we are on 1 hand, we are very needy people. We are born
18:24 What? We are born needy, we have needs, and and that's all good and normal. So there's
18:30 For maybe for love significance and Yeah.
18:33 Okay. And so, yeah, there's a sense in which our hands are always empty in some sense, and we do have things that that we need and we want. And a lot of those are good godly
18:44 desires, you know, for family relationship, for purpose, for meaningful work, for just growth. Yeah. And sometimes that can be associated with, like, if you see someone who's further along in their
18:56 career or in better shape or have the house that you want, whatever it is, there's a sense in which that can be a good desire. Like, I wanna work towards that someday. I wanna grow.
19:07 I'm inspired.
19:08 I wanna acquire skills to learn and grow.
19:10 Yeah.
19:10 But then those very same things can take on an unhealthy desire of like, where then you start playing the comparison game or you say, oh, I'm, you know, I'm such a loser. I'll never
19:22 I'll never get that or you start, well, they only got that because of x y z and then you just like unnecessarily tear down that person.
19:32 Yeah. Or you get mad at God or
19:34 Yeah. Yeah. Why yeah. You get bitter at God or you start blaming your parents' upbringing, whatever it is. Like, there's a way
19:41 of Society.
19:42 Yeah. There's a way that you can look at the very same things. And if it leads you, yeah, to that rot or bitterness Yeah. Anger or frustration instead of, like,
19:55 an inspiring way Right. Where you're actually encouraged and motivated to grow.
19:59 And it can sound altruistic at times. Like, okay. Hold your hand out. Yeah. If your hand was super full overflowing Mhmm. And I was like,
20:11 okay. It makes sense. I'm gonna take some out of your hand and balance this out a little bit. That can sound like a right thing to do.
20:19 Oh, yeah.
20:20 But when you go to God's word on it and let him shine his light on it, if you're looking at somebody else's hand and how much it's filled and you're envious of that and you're wanting to take from that,
20:32 like, that is envy. That's a sin. That is something that it's not like the type of sin where you are you didn't punch anybody in the throat. I'd worked in a throat punch again. You didn't punch
20:44 anybody, but you were being tempted to have your bones rot. So it's like it just helps us think about what am I desiring, what is
20:56 the root of it, and who am I looking at? You know, if I'm looking at what's in your hand, and I'm like, that's a good thing. And, God, why aren't you? But if I'm looking at God and I'm saying,
21:07 wow. My hand's a little bit empty here, and how would you have me fill it? Like, let's fill it up with good things.
21:16 Yeah. That reminds me too, like, on the 10 commandments, the last 1 is, you know, do not covet, which is in relation to these topics of envy and jealousy. It's I think it was Tim Keller who talked about
21:27 this, but I remember hearing something on how that's 1 of the only commandments where it's really getting at the heart and, like, an internal kind of desire. So a lot of the commandments are, you know, do not
21:39 steal, do not murder Right. Do not lie. Those are very outward obvious behaviors
21:45 Yeah.
21:45 That you can see. Yeah. But coveting, being envious or jealous Yeah. That's a heart issue. Like, it's kinda hidden. There's a sense in which no 1 would know Right. That you struggle
21:57 with that unless you do get visibly angry, upset, or tear people down or whatever it is. But, yeah, it's 1 of these issues where it can be hidden. So it's 1 of those things that I don't know. I just
22:09 feel like you need to you can kinda mask it or hide it for a while. And so it's 1 of those things I think of, like, Psalm 1 39. Search me, oh God, and know my heart. Test my anxious thoughts. You know. See if there's any
22:20 offensive way in me. So it's 1 of these things where it's like, you might not even know, might be hidden even from your own self Yeah. How much it impacts you. But another thing in relation to that, I remember hearing
22:31 that it was envy and jealousy. The thing that you're envious about or you're jealously guarding Mhmm. That could be an indication of an idol in your life that it's like, if I need
22:43 this thing in order to be happy, in order to be My precious. Yeah. There you go. Lord of the Rings reference. Yeah. Amy will be so excited about that. But, yeah, it just fill in the blank for anyone listening. I
22:54 need blank in order to be successful, in order to be feel significant, in order to be happy, in order to feel comforted, in order to feel like I have my life has meaning, like,
23:06 whatever that thing is. And if I'm envious of that or jealously guarding that, that can be an indication of I might have made this more important than God.
23:14 Yeah. I maybe need to do a little gut check right there. I think that's a really good point. So I had never actually thought about how so many of the 10 commandments were in action, but that 1 was, like,
23:26 more of, like, a heart issue. Do not and so I think it's really kinda comforting, though, because if God says, don't do this, that would indicate we have the capacity to not do
23:38 that. He's not gonna tell us don't. I mean, we may have struggles. It may be a hard issue for us, but he doesn't tell us to do something. He doesn't say, like, I
23:50 command that you rise and fly. We're not birds. We're not able to fly. He doesn't tell us something that is physically or emotionally impossible for us to do. So
24:02 if he says don't covet Yeah. Then that would tell us we do have the ability to choose a different path than that. We are able to determine
24:14 that I will not covet what somebody else has. I'm not gonna be envious. But a part of that, it starts with understanding some of the differences in that. And I think that's why, you
24:26 know, we can look at a little I don't have my glasses on, but I'm gonna do it. A little 99 page book. I was able to see it. We can look at a little 99 page book and say that this is
24:38 gonna help give you insight. This is gonna help give you understanding. You don't have to go lay on a couch somewhere for 6 months and determine the root of your envy to be freed of it.
24:50 So if he says do not covet, you have the power in your hand through the spirit, through the word of God that you can help to make impact in your life and not do that. 1
25:02 thing I realized in my life, and I feel like I can talk about it because getting to you know, we've shared that a lot of my work through hope for the heart has been traveling. And I've gone and done training in a lot of
25:14 different countries. Well, that's 1 of the reasons why I kind of told my story through the book and all of those things because travel is kind of a fascinating little thing. I mean, it's not
25:26 something that all of us do. And it kind of
25:28 I mean, how many countries have you been in?
25:30 37. Yeah. I know. I know. But the thing is I never
25:34 outside the US, like, once.
25:36 Well, just recently. Right? Yeah. But to me, that wasn't the flashy thing because that was something that I actually had been very afraid of, and I had asked God not to do that in my life. So that
25:47 wasn't like the home and family that I always wanted. To me, that was something that God did very particular, but it wasn't something that I would have ever struggled to be jealous over or to be envious over
25:59 because it wasn't something that I had particularly wanted. So I can share about that. But what I have learned is there are a lot of people that would have liked or would
26:11 still like opportunity to travel. That is something that they wanted. So if I start to tell my story Mhmm. To, like, a new friend or something, as soon as I hear them say, I wish I
26:23 could go to all the that is when I kind of will stop talking about it. Because I recognize that maybe that is something that they have wanted over time. Maybe that's something so
26:35 I'm thinking I don't want to be a reason for them to be envious or want that for them. You know what I mean? I don't know if I'm saying this very well, but I think we have a bit of a
26:47 responsibility to be compassionate. 1 thing I love is when I do have a friend that maybe they have some similar opportunity in ministry or otherwise
26:58 where I can kind of talk about that freely. And I know that it's not really a big deal for them because maybe that's been a part of their story. So we can kind of talk freely about things. And so I may
27:10 be able to share a little bit more or say, you know, I got to do this at this point or at that time. So I think for us, it's loving 1 another well. I don't have to hand out a card and be like, Haley Scully, 37
27:22 countries. I don't have to do that all the time, and I need to be aware of when that is triggering or prompting other people to maybe be upset about it. Does that make
27:34 sense? No. Yeah. Think we have a little bit of a role, and we need to be Yeah. Cognizant.
27:39 Yeah. No. It reminds me of something I've thought about in relation to this topic just over the last few days, and I'll probably jumble my thoughts here. But 1 of the things that I've been very
27:51 appreciative of lately in my life is I feel like I have a lot of people in my life right now who celebrate my successes and I can share good news with.
28:03 Yeah. And it's a good moment.
28:04 Right.
28:05 And it doesn't turn into this. Well, I wish I could. Yeah. You know, whatever. Because 1 of the characteristics of if you might be struggling with envy and jealousy is constantly comparingShow more
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