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Infertility, Adoption, and Unexpected Blessings: Ryan Walling’s Story of God’s Faithfulness
September 25, 2025 · 50 min
In this episode, Haley and Dustin sit down with Pastor Ryan Walling of Bayshore Baptist Church in La Porte, Texas. Ryan shares how he came to know the Lord as a child and sensed God’s call into ministry, but much of our conversation centers around a deeply personal journey—walking through infertility, adoption, and parenting.
Ryan and his wife, Jessica, wrestled with years of infertility before deciding to adopt—not just one child, but four siblings from Ethiopia. Shortly after finalizing the adoption, Jessica became pregnant. And then pregnant again. In just 15 months, the Wallings went from zero children to six!
Ryan reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting, the whirlwind of raising six kids, and God’s faithfulness along the way.
Whether you’ve walked through infertility, considered adoption, or just need encouragement about God’s faithfulness, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that God adopts us into His family and delights in us with fatherly joy.
Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit.
So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means everything.
Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart.
Listen in to learn more :
(03:48) - Faith Journey and Ministry Calling
(11:09) - Journey to Ministry and Adoption
(16:14) - Miraculous Journey to Family Expansion
(27:44) - Challenges and Joys of Adoption
(32:46) - Journey of Family Expansion and Faith
(38:20) - Trust in God's Sovereignty and Faithfulness
(49:25) - Power of Faith and Gratitude
Learn more about Ryan Walling, His Family & Ministry
Watch messages and learn about Bayshore Baptist Church – https://www.bayshorebaptist.church/
Watch Eyasu’s story, A remarkable journey of a young man's path from an Ethiopian orphanage to Texas A&M glory with ABC13 – https://abc13.com/post/esyau-walling-tells-abc13-upbringing-ethiopian-orphanage-adoption-how-helped-shaped-path/16332666/
Hope for the Heart resources
Learn more and sign up for our fall Hope Together conference: https://hopetogether.com/
Order our newest resource, The Care and Counsel Handbook, providing biblical guidance 100 real-life issues: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/care-and-counsel-handbook
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart
Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night
God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/
Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON
----------------------------
Bible verses mentioned in this episode
Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT): “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Series Hope Talks September 25, 2025 · 50 min · Hope Talks
In this episode, Haley and Dustin sit down with Pastor Ryan Walling of Bayshore Baptist Church in La Porte, Texas. Ryan shares how he came to know the Lord as a child and sensed God’s call into ministry, but much of our conversation centers around a deeply personal journey—walking through infertility, adoption, and parenting. Ryan and his wife, Jessica, wrestled with years of infertility before deciding to adopt—not just one child, but four siblings from Ethiopia. Shortly after finalizing the adoption, Jessica became pregnant. And then pregnant again. In just 15 months, the Wallings went from zero children to six! Ryan reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting, the whirlwind of raising six kids, and God’s faithfulness along the way. Whether you’ve walked through infertility, considered adoption, or just need encouragement about God’s faithfulness, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that God adopts us into His family and delights in us with fatherly joy. Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit. So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means everything. Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart. Listen in to learn more : (03:48) - Faith Journey and Ministry Calling (11:09) - Journey to Ministry and Adoption (16:14) - Miraculous Journey to Family Expansion (27:44) - Challenges and Joys of Adoption (32:46) - Journey of Family Expansion and Faith (38:20) - Trust in God's Sovereignty and Faithfulness (49:25) - Power of Faith and Gratitude Learn more about Ryan Walling, His Family & Ministry Watch messages and learn about Bayshore Baptist Church – https://www.bayshorebaptist.church/ Watch Eyasu’s story, A remarkable journey of a young man's path from an Ethiopian orphanage to Texas A&M glory with ABC13 – https://abc13.com/post/esyau-walling-tells-abc13-upbringing-ethiopian-orphanage-adoption-how-helped-shaped-path/16332666/ Hope for the Heart resources Learn more and sign up for our fall Hope Together conference: https://hopetogether.com/ Order our newest resource, The Care and Counsel Handbook, providing biblical guidance 100 real-life issues: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/care-and-counsel-handbook Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/ Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON ---------------------------- Bible verses mentioned in this episode Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT): “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” ...more Show the full description Show less In this episode, Haley and Dustin sit down with Pastor Ryan Walling of Bayshore Baptist Church in La Porte, Texas. Ryan shares how he came to know the Lord as a child and sensed God’s call into ministry, but much of our conversation centers around a deeply personal journey—walking through infertility, adoption, and parenting.
Ryan and his wife, Jessica, wrestled with years of infertility before deciding to adopt—not just one child, but four siblings from Ethiopia. Shortly after finalizing the adoption, Jessica became pregnant. And then pregnant again. In just 15 months, the Wallings went from zero children to six!
Ryan reflects on the joys and challenges of parenting, the whirlwind of raising six kids, and God’s faithfulness along the way.
Whether you’ve walked through infertility, considered adoption, or just need encouragement about God’s faithfulness, this conversation is a beautiful reminder that God adopts us into His family and delights in us with fatherly joy.
Subscribe to the podcast and tune in each week as Haley and Dustin share with you what the Bible says about real-life issues with compassion, warmth, and wit.
So you have every reason for hope, for every challenge in life. Because hope means everything.
Hope Talks is a podcast of the ministry of Hope for the Heart.
Listen in to learn more :
(03:48) - Faith Journey and Ministry Calling
(11:09) - Journey to Ministry and Adoption
(16:14) - Miraculous Journey to Family Expansion
(27:44) - Challenges and Joys of Adoption
(32:46) - Journey of Family Expansion and Faith
(38:20) - Trust in God's Sovereignty and Faithfulness
(49:25) - Power of Faith and Gratitude
Learn more about Ryan Walling, His Family & Ministry
Watch messages and learn about Bayshore Baptist Church – https://www.bayshorebaptist.church/
Watch Eyasu’s story, A remarkable journey of a young man's path from an Ethiopian orphanage to Texas A&M glory with ABC13 – https://abc13.com/post/esyau-walling-tells-abc13-upbringing-ethiopian-orphanage-adoption-how-helped-shaped-path/16332666/
Hope for the Heart resources
Learn more and sign up for our fall Hope Together conference: https://hopetogether.com/
Order our newest resource, The Care and Counsel Handbook, providing biblical guidance 100 real-life issues: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/care-and-counsel-handbook
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hopefortheheart
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hopefortheheart
Want to talk with June Hunt on Hope in the Night about a difficult life issue? Schedule a time here: https://resource.hopefortheheart.org/talk-with-june-hope-in-the-night
God’s plan for you: https://www.hopefortheheart.org/gods-plan-for-you/
Give to the ministry of Hope for the Heart: https://raisedonors.com/hopefortheheart/givehope?sc=HTPDON
----------------------------
Bible verses mentioned in this episode
Ephesians 1:4-5 (NLT): “Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
Romans 8:28 – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
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0:00 I think God was laying a foundation for our marriage that could sustain 6 kids in 15 months, and all of the things that in ICU and adopting kids from hard places who had lost their parents and0:11 all of the stressors that come with that for them. So I wouldn't trade it, but I think sometimes that's sort of what God is doing, is He's creating a story. He's painting a story that we wouldn't necessarily0:23 choose for ourselves. But it's those past graces. It's that past mercy that I think gives me hope for he sustained us through that, then he will sustain us in this.0:35 Welcome to Hope Talks. We're your hosts. I'm Haley Scully along with Dustin Anderson, and we wanna give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life because hope means everything.0:48 Haley, on Hope Talks, we have had bring your mother to work day. We've had Glenda Scully on the podcast.0:54 Yes. We did.0:54 We've had bring your boss to Workday.0:56 We did.0:57 We've had doctor Eric Scleese, and today is bring your friend to Workday.1:01 Bring my seminary bestie to Workday. We did.1:06 Thought he was gonna get to bring your arch nemesis to Workday or Is that1:10 No. We're not gonna do that. Although it would be fun to have that duel out on Hope Talks. But, yes, today we have pastor Ryan Walling, the right reverend. Ryan, welcome to Hope1:22
1:23 Thank you for having me.
1:24 Thank you for being here. I'm excited.
1:26 Yeah. Ryan is dear friend of Haley, pastor of Bay Shore Baptist Church in let me get this right, La Porte, Texas, and married to Jessica and father of 6 children. And from what I understand,
1:38 that all happened in a very short amount of time. And so we'll get into that hopefully a little bit later with just the adoption and how that happened. But upfront, we like to ask people their hope stories.
1:50 And so, Hayley, would you like to?
1:52 I would. I'm gonna ask you our the hope story. I'm so excited to have you on here, Ryan. Ryan and Jessica were at Fort Worth. Ryan had started seminary at the same time I did, and the
2:04 Lord just gave us a quick friendship. And Ryan and Jessica have been a significant part of my faith steps. Like, going to Ethiopia, working on youth ministry
2:15 lab. There were so many things that the Lord used Ryan to give me opportunity to do. It's in hindsight that I can see how much your faith has been such a big part of my faith. So,
2:27 man, you're welcome that we're friends.
2:30 Well, I was gonna say thank you. Please continue.
2:33 I know, because I will get down and get to balling. What an amazing time in our lives that we got to share. You guys became my family, and I just am so grateful for you. So thank you
2:45 for being on Hope Talks today.
2:46 Absolutely. Thanks for inviting me.
2:48 I'm gonna pretend like I don't know you. Thank you, mister Walling. But getting some of your hope story and like you said, there's a lot of directions that you could go in. And when you talk about what your hope story
2:59 might be, the Lord has just done some incredible just drop the mic moments with you and Jess. And so getting to share part of your story with Hope Talks, I told my coworkers, I said
3:11 he's from Louisiana, so we might have to do subtitles. But we ask people, what's your hope story? And for some people, that is their time of salvation when they really learn to put their hope in Christ. For me,
3:23 it was later when I really understood what it meant to depend on him. So it might be that or it might be another time in your life. But Ryan Walling, what would be a hope story that you would share with us today?
3:35 It's an interesting question. When did you learn to put your hope in Christ? Because I would almost say still learning that, right? I think it's obviously a sanctifying thing that we continue to learn that through
3:45 different seasons. But I would go all the way back to fourth grade. I didn't grow up in a Christian home. Didn't go to church. My aunt took me to church when I stayed the night with her. And I don't know. I I was there
3:55 as a guest and didn't really understand or know much about what it was like to be in church. And I had a really interesting, I guess, salvation story. I was in fourth grade living outside of Atlanta, Georgia, and I was
4:07 invited by a friend to an RA camp out. I don't know if any of your listeners remember Royal Ambassadors, RAs, and GAs.
4:15 Uh-huh. And GAs. Yep.
4:18 We're getting some nods from the back here.
4:20 Right. Yeah. Shout out to RAs and G. If there's churches out there still doing RAs, shout out. But I was invited to a father son camp out. Obviously, my dad didn't go. He wasn't involved in the church. So I went with a
4:31 friend and and his dad. And I'm not suggesting this to anyone. If there are any RA leaders out there leading camp outs, this is not the way to do it. But this guy, we were gathered around the fire, probably cooking
4:42 s'mores or something. And he said some words, then he said, You boys fourth grade. You boys see that fire? Hell's 7 times hotter than that fire. You wanna burn in hell? I mean, we're a bunch of 10 year olds. We're like,
4:54 No. I didn't know. He's like, Put us in there. I didn't know what was happening. And he's like, If you don't wanna burn in hell, say this prayer. And we're all like, Yes, sir. You know, just I said some words. I just
5:02 said some words. But here's the phenomenal thing is about a week later and I could take you to the spot. I actually showed my wife Jessica. I showed her on Google Maps. I just wanted to see if I could literally find it,
5:14 and I could. I can pinpoint the spot. I was sitting behind my house. There was a creek bed in Conyers, Georgia. The neighborhood is Harvest Glen. You can look it up. Anyway, there's a creek that runs behind there, and I
5:24 was sitting behind my house. I don't want to overstate the spirituality of this. I mean, I was in fourth grade, but the Lord, through this hellfire and brimstone RA leader, somehow the
5:36 spirit spoke something to me that a week later, sitting behind my house, I was looking around at, like, I don't know, the leaves and the clouds and the creek, and I just remember going, There is
5:48 God. It was the first time that it ever registered that there's something more than just what we see here and just what we experience here. Again, I don't want to make it sound like I've had some really
5:59 crazy prayer, like I was like, Our Father, who art in heaven. I didn't know the words to say. I just remember thinking, I need to know this God, and I pinpoint that as that's when I placed my faith in Jesus. I
6:11 don't know that I had the words placed my faith in or trusted in Jesus. I don't know that I had any of the vernacular for it, but I remember feeling this overwhelming excitement and peace. I ran back in
6:23 to talk to my mom. Can picture it like it was yesterday, and I told her that I met God. I think she was a believer, but not really following Christ at the time, and of course she was excited for me.
6:35 So fourth grade, and then I didn't go to church. I didn't drive. My parents didn't go to church, and I didn't really go back to church until probably sixth or seventh grade, because I just didn't know that's
6:47 what Christians are supposed to do. I didn't know what a Christian was or how 1 lived. So anyway, it was that point that I remember realizing I've trusted God. I've met God. But it was really later,
6:58 seventh grade, eighth grade, ninth grade, that some friends in junior high had invited me to church. And it was there that what I then, as my 12, 13, 14 year old self, looked to these super old men, and
7:10 they just loved me well, and they discipled me, and they taught me how to do church, and gave me a Bible, and all kind of stuff. I say it a little bit tongue in cheek now, super old men, because I did the math, and those
7:22 men then were about 10 years younger than I am now. But the church loved me and shepherded me well. It's where I was baptized and surrendered to the ministry. It's where I met my wife. So it was there in the presence
7:33 of those people, Fair Park Baptist Church in West Monroe, Louisiana, that I started to realize and learn what it means to actually place your hope in and hope in Christ. Anyway, just grew
7:45 substantially over the 10 years or so that we spent there. So yeah, I would look back at those 2 things as the catalyst for all the hope that I have and the journey that I've been on.
7:55 I love that. Just starting to get, like you said, your awareness, even as a child, open up that there is a guide, that there is some decisions to be made and some paths maybe to start on. And that ultimately,
8:07 like you said, you some people, like, discuss the semantics of a calling or surrender to ministry and all that kind of stuff. But 1 thing I have always known and appreciated about you, you ask a lot of
8:19 questions and you dig in and you want to know. And why do we pray? And does God listen to that if he's already decided how things are gonna be? Are we supposed to you know, like, that's 1 thing
8:31 I really miss about seminary is as we wrestle with all of those things, but it really has led to being an anchor in your life and through going into ministry. Because we both started seminary a little bit later.
8:42 I'm a little older and wiser than you. I threw in the wiser part. I don't know about that, but a little bit older. But you guys started a little later too. We weren't like 22 going to seminary. But how did that shepherd
8:53 you, anchor you as you started into your marriage and started into your work in ministry?
8:59 I had so many people tell me that seminary was 1 of the driest points in their walk, and I never understood that because, yeah, iron sharpening iron. And our conversations, Hayley, you and I, along with so
9:11 many others that I met there during that time, and not the least of which would be Richard Ross and Johnny Darrelin and Wes Black and those people.
9:19 Get their names in, I love it.
9:20 That's right, yeah, shout out to those guys. I grew more in that 3 years or however long we were there, probably at a faster rate than I ever have. I mean, it was there that, and I tell this story all the time to my
9:32 congregation, that Richard Ross, I never understood, I never realized who Jesus I think I always pictured Jesus on a cross or Jesus walking on water or whatever.
9:44 I don't know. No. No. Like, with a bathrobe on and, like, feathered hair and, like
9:47 He is from West Monroe. Let me just remind you. Okay.
9:52 You know, with, like, a a child and like a lamb on his lap or something.
9:56 Yeah, always a lamb carrying a lamb.
9:58 And it was in seminary that Richard Ross pointed out to me, and I feel foolish for not having realized this, but I just thought 1 day Jesus was gonna become king in return for his people. And it was Richard Ross who
10:10 helped me realize he's that king today. Not he will be, but today. And it changed it revolutionized the way I pray, the way I read scripture, the way I teach, probably the paths that I've taken in ministry. So, I mean,
10:21 it was super formative for
10:23 me. I'm curious about just kind of your trajectory into dis discipleship and calling into ministry because I kinda relate to how you came to know the Lord. Because similarly, like, I grew up in a
10:35 I think my mom and dad were believers, but we didn't really go to church all that much. It wasn't huge part of our background, and I just felt like I kinda came to the Lord first in my family. When you have that
10:46 experience, it's kind of like everything. Like you said, I was just like I had this excitement. Everything feels new, and I found with other people, there's like just a hunger for the word and kind of anything you get
10:57 feels like just the trajectory of growth can seem rapid. And so I was curious if that was kind of your experience. And then how did that kind of lead into feeling like I should go into ministry full time?
11:09 So, there was the moment in time in fourth grade, and then, to be completely honest, there was no growth, because I didn't know how to grow. I wasn't watered, so to speak, or what. I mean, I just had no option for that,
11:20 really. I remember that my grandmother gave me a Bible. It's blue. It's actually on my shelf right here, but it's King James. And I don't know any fourth grader that wants to read King James. So I don't think I read it.
11:30 Maybe I tried, but I probably failed miserably because I just couldn't understand the language in it. But yeah, as I was saying, then you jump to seventh, eighth grade, solid student ministry at the church there in West
11:41 Monroe, and grew a ton in that. And I was baptized in tenth grade because it took that long. Ailey's gonna say it took that long for the Lord to get through my thick skull, but it just took that
11:53 long for me to hear a sermon that, I guess, was about baptism or whatever, to realize, Oh, that's the next step of obedience for me. And then it was quickly on the heels of that. There was actually a guy, and
12:05 his name is Doctor. Kelly, and I cannot remember his first name, or maybe his first name was Kelly, Doctor. Kelly something. Anyhow, he was the director of the Louisiana Baptist Children's Home, and he came on a special
12:15 Sunday, and he preached, like just guest preacher. He had a degree in counseling. He was probably a master's degree in counseling and maybe a PhD in counseling psychology or something. And I don't remember much of what
12:26 he said. I just remember thinking, I'm supposed to go and get that degree. I'm supposed to go into ministry. And it was at that moment I'd never really been told what I call the ministry years, or what that looks like,
12:37 or how that's supposed to go. And I remember going to my pastor and saying, I think I'm called into ministry, and for years and years and years, I don't know that I ran from that, but I just didn't know how to pursue
12:47 that, which is why Haley mentioned earlier that I went back to college, or seminary, sort of late, because I just didn't know what it meant. I didn't have anybody to shepherd me or disciple me in how to go into ministry.
12:58 But anyway, I went to get my counseling degree, and then I thought, okay, I'm gonna step out of doing student ministry and the things that I was doing, and I'm gonna go and be a counselor. And then graduated with my
13:08 counseling degree, and the Lord was not opening any doors for me to do that, but all of these doors for student ministry were continuing to open. And so people were just like, Oh, so you got a degree in counseling, but
13:19 you do student ministry, so you don't use your degree. And I'm like, Heck, that teenager ever? Like, of course I use my degree all the time. Anyway, Dustin, to get back to your question, I think anyway, is there was no
13:30 growth and then rapid growth, and then a little bit of growth and then rapid growth. That's kind of been my trajectory, is just sort of full speed ahead, and then it slows down, and then fast, and then it slows down
13:40 again. That's been my experience anyway.
13:42 I think it's fun to just, you consider those old men who are maybe 10 years younger than you, 20 years younger than me, that discipled you, and discipleship has been a key component I
13:53 remember for you all along, which is probably 1 of the main reasons why taking the counseling piece and going into youth ministry and what ended up happening with youth ministry lab and those types of things. But in the
14:04 midst of all of that, you were married to the wonderful Jessica. And I've shared a lot of my story. Dustin shared his story kind of how our lives are just they're not in the background, but
14:16 we have these ministries and these things happening. And and our lives are still going on, and we're making sense of you guys. You were married 12 years, I think, even at the time coming into seminary. You guys got
14:28 married really young and started to walk your faith life out in your marriage and in your parenting. And that was I can still remember. I'm gonna preface it. I remember they were talking you
14:40 guys kinda started talking about adoption, and we're gonna kinda get into that story. I remember you and Jessica coming to Lady Bird Manor, which was the name of my house with
14:52 my roommates while we were in seminary. We called ourselves the ladybirds. Don't even worry about it. But
14:56 ladybird was, like, a official, like
14:58 No. We sign over the door. Because she was a classy old house.
15:02 Keep saying we, but really she means she.
15:05 I named it. And it stuck though, because I like to name my We'll
15:10 get a sign for her office door. Yep.
15:12 I do have a sign. It's at home now. But you had just came over, and I can still see you guys sitting on the couch. And all of a sudden, Jessica showed us this picture of this sibling group from Ethiopia,
15:24 and you told us where you felt God was leading you. So let's get into your adoption story and kind of how you've had this call in ministry from the time you're in fourth grade. You have
15:36 these people discipling you. You step into this calling. You start really doing the work, but then your personal heart and life, you really got to walk that out. So why
15:48 adoption? How did you get there?
15:50 Jessica and I were married in 2000, because I was wise enough to marry in 2000. That way, whatever year it is, that's how many years I've been married.
15:59 So See how smart he is?
16:01 So
16:01 smart. Super smart.
16:02 Whatever year it is, that's how many years I've been married. So January of 2000, so there's only 7 days that I might get it wrong.
16:09 Congrats on the 25 year anniversary, by the way.
16:12 Yeah.
16:12 Yeah, thanks. So, when we started talking seriously about marriage, and we did get married young, we started dating my junior year, her senior year of high school, and when we, I mean, not then, but
16:24 a year or so into dating, we started talking about seriously, if we're gonna get married, what does this look like? What do you want for your life? What do I want for my life? And where do we align? Those kinds of
16:35 things. And she said 2 things. 1 is she said that she wants to adopt. She said, I just feel called to adopt. Mean, she was 19, 20 years old, maybe, 21. Said that she felt called to adopt,
16:47 and I had never thought about that, but I wasn't opposed to it. I was like, Okay, if that's what you want to do, we do that. I'm okay with that. And then the second thing she said is, I feel called to be a missionary.
16:57 And I thought, There's the deal breaker. That's not what my call is. Love and appreciate and support and pray for missions, and I go on mission to all the things, but I don't feel called to move overseas
17:09 and do that, but that's what she felt called to do. So we talked about that, and she said, I trust that if this is what we're supposed to do, that you'll obey the Lord, and if it's not what we're supposed to do, then
17:19 I'll submit to the Lord as well. And so we moved forward, got married, and I I think we always thought we would have a kid and adopt a kid, or have 2 and adopt 1, or have 1
17:31 and adopt 2. In my mind, it was always 2 or 3, and 1 or 2 of them would be adopted, and 1 or 2 of them would be biological. So we were married about 3 years when we found out that the
17:43 doctors told us that we were infertile, that she would never be able to have biological children. And it was, I remember it hit, but not as hard as maybe it would have had the Lord not planted that seed in our hearts of
17:55 we're going to adopt. Not saying it was easy. I'm not saying it didn't hurt Sting, but it was just, okay, the Lord had led us to adopt, and so that's how he's gonna build our family, and that's the direction we'll go.
18:07 So we saved money, started the adoption process, went through an entire adoption process, and had a failed attempt. We were trying to adopt from Nepal, and our US state department shut down
18:18 all adoptions from Nepal at that time. And so we lost all of our money, all of our time. We were back at square 1.
18:25 And that's while you were at seminary. That's while we were there, yeah. Oh, wow.
18:29 Absolutely, yeah. And so, just the rug was pulled out from under us. I didn't understand that. I remember my constant prayer was, Lord, your word says that children are a blessing, and we desire children, and
18:41 you didn't allow it to happen this way, so we were gonna pursue it this way, and we were fine with that, and now you're not allowing that to happen. So there was really some conversations, most of them 1 way, between me
18:50 and God.
18:51 It's called back talk, Ryan.
18:53 Yeah, I was back talking for sure. And so we went to an adoption conference. I'll fast forward a little bit, but we went to an adoption conference, and we decided she was gonna go to some of the different seminars and
19:03 tracks, and I was gonna go to some other ones, and we were gonna kinda just, at the end of the adoption conference, talk about and figure out where are we. We're starting back over. Are we doing this? Are we not? What's
19:13 the direction? And so we came away from that, and we sort of compared notes, if you will, and both of us had heard things about what's often called waiting children, paper ready, like essentially everything's done
19:24 on their side. They're just waiting for someone to say, We will adopt them. So we'd heard about that for the first time ever, and then we had both listed some countries, places that we would be interested in adopting
19:35 from. On both our lists was Ethiopia and Colombia, and the adoption agency that we had been talking to that worked with paper ready waiting children, they didn't deal with Colombia, but they dealt with
19:46 Ethiopia. So, I mean, it'd be cool if it was some kind of super spiritual, like the Lord led us, you know, like an Ethiopian knocked on our door and, you know, but it was just kinda very logistical, and just the way I
19:58 felt like the Lord led us. And so, we went down that path, and it didn't take too long. We signed papers in December of Well, I'll stop and say, we started the process with Ethiopia, and Jessica
20:10 had found this sibling group of 4, and I was like, 4 is not the number. That's not the Lord's leading us to do. Like, that's actually crazy. And I just kept praying like, God, just fix her heart. You know, it ain't
20:22 4. And all the while, he was just fixing my heart. Because her thing was, they were older, they were roughly like 12, 11, 7, and 4. And so she was like, this sibling, they're gonna split them up. The oldest 2, they're
20:34 gonna age out. They're gonna be kicked out of the orphanage. They're gonna be on the street. Somebody will adopt the other 2, or they'll be split. We could take all 4. And so I just thought, She's right. I mean, I don't
20:43 know why I would say no. Why can't we do this? So we signed papers in what would have been December of 20 10, and then in February of 20 11, she said, I'm pregnant. I mean, it's wild, and it's
20:55 a beautiful story, and I wouldn't change anything now, but it is not the way I would have written it. In fact, I was mad on several counts. 1, why after we signed papers to adopt? And then I didn't want to be another
21:07 I mean, you probably have listeners that have been told, If you're just faithful and adopt, I know these people that as soon as they adopted, they got pregnant. And yeah, that happens sometimes, but it doesn't happen all
21:17 the time. And it's not that God is waiting to allow you to have biological children until you obey Him and adopt. I just don't think that's how God works. I I was aggravated that we now are gonna be another example to
21:28 people, well meaning people, who say hurtful things to people who are dealing with infertility. And so I was frustrated about all sorts of things, but none of it mattered because the train was moving forward, and she was
21:39 pregnant, and people were like, Well, you're not gonna adopt the 4. I mean, now you're having your own kids. And it's like, We've already made a promise to them. We've already communicated with them. Like, of course,
21:49 they're expecting to be adopted. And so Evie came prematurely. Our firstborn was born in August, and then the 4 came home from Ethiopia 8 months later. The following April, they came home, and Jessica
22:00 was pregnant with our second or sixth, like, however you wanna count that. And so Key, our youngest, was born 7 months later. So between Evie and Key, there are 15 months, and we got 4 right in the middle.
22:12 So 0 to 6 in 15 months was a wild ride, to say the least.
22:18 Super incredible. I mean, so what would you because I agree. I've talked about that a little bit, Ryan. Like, it's not like God's just waiting for you to be content in the very thing that maybe hurts you the most
22:30 so that he unlocks some kind of opening for you. I think you're right. I think that sets us up for, well, why would I wanna get content with a God like that anyway? So
22:42 how would you talk about that? How would you kinda flesh that out, if you will?
22:46 I still don't have the answer to that, to be honest. I know that Romans 8 28 is true, that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. I cling to that, and I
22:57 don't know how we would have survived or sustained going through some of the things we went through had we not had 11 years of infertility. It's 1 of those hindsight things that you don't
23:08 always get to see in the rearview mirror what God was doing, but sometimes in His kindness, we get to look back and say, I see now what he was doing, and I wouldn't trade it. I wouldn't want to go through
23:20 infertility again with my wife. The mother's days that she wept, I picked her up and I held it together. The baby showers of her friends that she attended and smiled and brought gifts when she longed for a baby. I
23:32 wouldn't wish that on anyone, but I wouldn't change it now. Looking back, I think God was laying a foundation for our marriage that could sustain 6 kids in 15 months. And all of the things that
23:43 in ICU, and adopting kids from hard places who had lost their parents, and all of the stressors that come with that for them. So I wouldn't trade it, but I think sometimes that's sort of what God is doing, is He's
23:55 creating a story. He's painting a story that we wouldn't necessarily choose for ourselves. But it's those past graces, it's that past mercy that I think gives me hope for, he
24:07 sustained us through that, then he will sustain us in this. I think that's what gives you the future hope is looking back and realizing that he's never failed. I don't know, that didn't answer your question, I'm sorry.
24:16 See why I wanted my friend on here?
24:19 Yes, I wouldn't answer your question. I don't even remember your question. I just started talking again.
24:23 No, you did, you did. I think sometimes we want God to make sense so bad. Wouldn't it be nice if we could say that's how God works? Get content, and then he
24:35 unlocks it. And you're right. Sometimes that is he had a plan, and he was calling you and Jess into something bigger than what you could have anticipated, but he knew your hearts and he was gonna entrust
24:47 you with this story that was gonna impact so many people. I'd raise my hand right there. So he had a plan for you. And sometimes people can look at that and like you said, well, there's another example of that's God
24:57 acting like that. But the point is God was personal and he was intimate with you and Jessica because he had a plan and he was gonna ask you to receive 6 beautiful kids. So I just think he's so personal. I mean, I
25:09 can look at that in my life and think we joke about that with singleness. Like, as soon as you're content, God's gonna bring you your husband. People hear that a lot of times. And it's just thinking that's he's not
25:20 setting us up in some he's not tricky like that. So I think you responded really well to that. But don't hold me to that. I'll disagree with you on something in a minute.
25:29 There's just a lot I wanna dive into, and I'm not sure where to start. I mean, going from 0 to 6 kids in 15 months is
25:39 Not for the faint of heart.
25:40 Yeah. Wow. Like, it brought to mind, like, remember when my first daughter was born, they had to wheel my wife out and then all the doctors and the nurses left the room and I'm holding my baby in a hospital room alone.
25:52 I'm like, okay. Like, what okay. What do I do now? What is what are we doing? And like that, but like, I'm just picturing you in your house with Jessica now. There's 2 babies.
26:05 There's 4 kids aging from toddler to adolescent. What's the shift in your own life? How's your walk with Christ during this time? Like, how are you navigating all that
26:16 change in such a short amount of time?
26:18 It just went full on just survival mode. It was just we have to make it. So, there's so many parts of the story. Because I'm a pastor, I can just tend to talk and talk and talk, and so I'm trying to like but there's
26:30 so many branches that go off. And 1 of the things that you're kinda hitting on right there is that I just skipped over is when Evie came home from the hospital, from being in the NICU, and then 8 months later,
26:42 4 kids come home from Ethiopia. They didn't speak any English, and because Evie was premature, Jessica was put on bed rest. And so she was 23 hours a day on your
26:54 back when she was pregnant with Key, and we had 4 kids that needed to be cared for. And I was the only 1 working, and I don't know if everyone is aware of this, but pastors don't make a lot of money.
27:05 What?
27:06 I know. I know. A lot of people think otherwise. I mean, the church was kind and they I mean, I was paid well, but it was a lot. And she wasn't working at the time and on bed rest. And so we had to hire a nanny, which
27:17 was just not something that I ever could have fathomed that we would do. And it wasn't something that was necessarily within our budget, but it was how do we make it from day to day. So we had a lady down the street that
27:28 came in, I don't know, 7 am or 8 am or something like that, Took care of kids, cooked, cleaned, did all the things so that I could go to work and do what I needed to do. But it was trying to figure out how to teach them
27:39 English, how to figure out how to just teach them how to live in a house with other people. But 1 of the most amazing, beautiful things that happened during that first year, I guess, or whatever, to be quite
27:51 honest, we didn't know these 4 kids. We had had phone conversations with them. Haley and Jessica had gone over there once, and then I had gone over there twice, once to go visit them and to do the
28:03 court stuff, and then the second time to bring them home. And so it was a sum total of 2 weeks that we had talked with them, that we had been with them. And so we're mom and dad, and they're our
28:14 kids legally. But there was no bond. It was new. It was all very, very new. But here on the floor, picture 4 Ethiopian kids sitting on 1 couch, and Jessica
28:26 and I sitting on another couch. And there in between us was a little 7 pound, 8 month old baby. And she was our baby, and that was their little sister. And God used Evie
28:38 as a bonding agent to bring together. I saw the way they loved her, and it caused my heart to love them that much quicker. I don't know how to explain, other than to say
28:50 God planned that exactly that way, bond us together in that way, that I don't know, I'm sure it would have happened had it just been Jessica and I and the 4 kids. I'm sure something else would have happened, but would it
29:01 have happened that instantaneously? I can't see how, were it not for us having a premature baby after we plan to adopt, you know, all these pieces getting put in order is just I don't know how to explain
29:13 it other than but God. It's my favorite words in scripture, but God.
29:18 I've never heard you say it that way.
29:19 So you're a pastor at this time. So how far into pastoring are you at this point when all the kids are in the house? How does this impact the way you shepherding people at the
29:31 time? Just like talk through that a little bit because that just seems like being a pastor is hard enough as is and then you throw this into it.
29:39 At the time, I was I was at Anderson Mill Baptist Church as the I think my title was student and family pastor, so I wasn't a senior pastor. I wasn't lead pastor, and it was extremely difficult. It certainly changed the
29:50 way myself, Jessica, I ministered to other young couples through marriage difficulties or issues, through parenting their own kids. Some of those couples went on to adopt, and so it certainly impacted the way I
30:02 ministered to the people that kind of were under my care, but I wasn't the lead pastor. There was a lot of difficulties with I had church responsibilities that had to get done, and that's my job. And people
30:14 oftentimes don't think about the fact that, I mean, it is a job, and it comes with all the responsibilities of any other job, and there's things that if it doesn't get done, it doesn't get done. And so I had theseShow more
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