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September 5, 2026 · 57 min · Hope in the Night
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Hope for the Heart is a worldwide biblical counseling, coaching, and caregiving ministry founded by June Hunt in 1986. We’re passionate about helping people
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0:10 The following program is prerecorded. From the Hope Center in Plano, Texas, this is Hope in the Night, late night talk radio offering biblical hope and practical help.0:22 This program has been helping people on the air for over 30 years, and it's a ministry of hope for the heart. Now if you'd like to find out more about that ministry, go to hope for the heart dot org. There you can listen0:34 to previous opening night programs by going to shows in the menu, can make 1 time or recurring donations, and you can also get into our 24 7 online bookstore0:46 by clicking resources. If you'd like to keep in touch with what we're doing and be in the know on new events and products, you can text the word free to 7 0 90:58 1 9, and we'll send you a link and get you signed up for email updates. We're not gonna email you 5 and 6 times a day, but it would be good for you to know when we're having a sale or a1:09 conference or somebody's written a new book or we have, you know, a special or or something like that. But we would love to keep you informed about the ministry. The Keys1:21 for Living Library book that we're gonna be talking about tonight is verbal and emotional abuse. Now inside that book, there's some things that we'll discuss here in this 1st segment.1:33 I'm Tom Petrosky, and I'm here with author and speaker, June Hunt. June, in this book that you wrote about verbal and emotional abuse, you highlight something called gaslighting.1:45 Mhmm.1:45 I know there's people have heard that phrase, maybe even used it, but do we really know what that means? Can you talk us through what gaslighting1:57 actually is?1:59 Well, it's not when you're on a camp out and you light a lantern just so you can figure out how to use the restroom.2:11 It is not that. Gas it it is it's not a positive term. Gaslighting is a2:23 tactic. It's a psychological tactic that a person uses or it could be a group uses to make a2:34 victim doubt or question their own perception of reality. And, you know, sometimes a person2:46 will target another person. In other words, it's not like they're doing it to everyone. It's they want that person to question,2:58 their own sanity or their own view of reality. It was actually let me give you the background. The background is there3:10 was a 19 38 I'm sure you were alive and well, not not really. 19 383:21 play that was actually titled Gas Light and 2 film adaptations in 19 40 and3:33 19 44, Both were titled Gaslight. And the story centers around a newly married, charming on the surface3:45 husband, meaning not really, who nefariously uses noise in the attic or muffled voices. And3:56 and he flickers gas lights to make his unsuspecting bride doubt her own sanity so that he can4:08 steal her fortune. So that's that's the background for the term gaslight or gaslighting. And so it's really gaslighting4:20 is lying blatantly with the intent intent to manipulate or either to target directly4:32 or target a person through others indirectly. Now what this what we're talking about here is it's this4:43 technique used by abusers to manipulate and control the person they're with or another4:55 person. And it can include tactics like denying what was said even though what was said is accurate, but it's5:06 denying what was said or or done to confuse or obscure reality. I could say it could be using people or5:18 possessions as collateral damage or ammunition to inflict pain, like there's something wrong with your memory. You know? And and5:29 so it causes the other person to really doubt themselves. It could be attacking a spouse or your children or work5:41 or or some something that would be endearing. But it's really to gain compliance. It's to5:53 manipulate to to get your way, to get, the the attacker's way. And so it could be alternating praise6:06 and flattery with insults and abuse, which causes confusion. It could be just calling everything into6:17 question. You know, no. Why would you say that? That that's not true at all. It's projecting accusations of negative behavior to distract6:29 attention from the abuser's own nefarious actions and drawing others into unintentional6:42 it's like manipulating people. It's just it's wrong. It's manipulating a person to believing that they are crazy or persuading others.7:00 Psalm 107 verse 2 says, let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story. 1 of the greatest encouragements to our team is hearing how God is using this7:11 ministry in the lives of others. Over the years, we've heard from listeners who found comfort in their grief, healing in their relationships, and strength through difficult7:22 seasons because of God's truth shared on hope in the night. If hope in the night has blessed you, we'd love to hear about it, and your words may encourage someone7:34 else who needs hope today. Would you take a moment to send us a note and share how this ministry has impacted you? Just visit hope for the heart dot org slash story7:46 or text story to 7 0 9 1 9. That's hope for the heart dot org slash story or text story to 77:58 0 9 1 9.8:00 At Houston Christian University, our graduate program offers you, the working professional, the curriculum to advance your career with the flexibility to keep your life focused. The personalized and affordable approach8:12 you deserve in the most desirable fields, all designed to take you where you want to go, but remain grounded in where you are. Let our 60 years of education8:23 experience get you there. Discover how at h c dot e d u slash grad.8:29 If you're passionate about counseling, coaching, that. Be8:36 that. And worship and biblical teaching from8:42 to8:47 inspiring speakers like Lisa Harper, Sheila Walsh, Jonathan Evans, June Hunt, and more. Get your in person or virtual ticket today at hope together dot com. That's hope together dot com.9:11 Welcome back to Hope in the Night. If you have questions about our topic tonight or would like to order resources, please reach out to our support team. I'll give you 3 ways so you can do that. You can call 19:22 804 8 8 hope, you can text the word support to 7 0 9 1 9, or you can just go to our website. Now the 1st 2 ways, the call or the9:34 text, that will put you in touch with our support team, and they know our resource library very well. Whether you're looking for a quick guide or a Keith's for Living book9:45 or even 1 of June's longer books that she's written, they know our material. You might have just written down 1 of the phrases from the book or part of the title as you were9:57 listening to 1 of our programs, but they'll help you figure out exactly what it is that you're looking for. Now, if you're ready to go and you know exactly what the title is called, just go to10:09 hopefortheheart dot org and click on resources. That is a open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week bookstore, a digital bookstore that has all of our resources,10:21 all the books that we talk about on the program. You can order those, and they'll be shipped to you. So however you need to get our materials, we want you to have what you need in your hands.10:34 Well, tonight, we have a a caller. Let's welcome Nicole to Hope in the Night.10:40 Hi, Nicole. Welcome to Hope.10:43 Hi.10:44 How can we help you?10:47 I wanted to talk about emotional and verbal abuse in my situation and to also, like, speak to anyone listening that10:59 has or is going through that right now.11:02 I'm so sorry. So what what tell me what's happening. What's going on?11:10 Besides, I11:11 mean, I understand it's verbal and emotional abuse, but how is that impacting you?11:18 Okay. So I I lost my children because of it. And Oh. Yeah. Through11:29 the CPS, through emotional and verbal abuse from my husband. I had left him to and took my kids, and I11:41 asked the police to help me to just, like, not have to deal with him. And when I did it, they helped me. I went to a hotel, and then they they11:53 sent JFS to me the next day when I went to a shelter. But I had told them that I felt like I was doing the right thing because I was leaving. Even though I left, it12:05 felt like I lost. And my husband, when he found out, he he basically tortured me about the whole situation. He he blamed me. He said if I just did not talk to the police or12:16 anything, I wouldn't have lost our our kids. And I'm sorry.12:25 I'm so sorry. So your husband kept attacking you verbally saying if it was your fault,12:38 And and yet you were what made you know that you needed to be in a shelter to be protected?12:52 God. Actually, I was watching Joel's team. This stuff has been going on for years. It's been, like, 15 years of this. And I watched Joel's13:04 thing back in 20 22, and the the whole message spoke to me about my life, my problems, how you feel going through, like, emotional abuse and13:16 hurt and pain, and that there's a god that cares that you're loved. And it just it it hit me because I I haven't heard anything because I I don't have, like, family or friends. Like, with my13:27 husband, all that was cut off. I couldn't go outside. Sometimes he'd pick out what I'd wear. He didn't want people to look at13:39 me. I couldn't look at people. And if if we did, he'd wanna, like, talk to them and, like, fight with them. So I stopped looking at people. And then I've been in my apartment for, like,13:51 about a year not going anywhere, not seeing people just in the house while he took the kids to the doctors and school, and I I just stayed in my14:03 room.14:05 And I I You're saying yeah. You you said you don't have family and friends because your husband basically blocked those relationship. Is that what I'm hearing you14:17 say?14:18 Yeah. Blocked blocked in every way, whether it's phone calls, texting, social media, nothing. He just he he made me feel so weak that I I listened to him, and I14:30 thought, like, at a time, the things he said to me, I actually thought they were true. And I I just had lost myself.14:40 Wow. So when you went to the shelter, now at that point, you didn't have the children with you. Is that what you're saying?14:51 I have put them with me to the shelter. I only called the the police because what would happen is if I would have told him I'm gonna leave with the kids because he was in my apartment. That's the thing. It was my15:03 apartment. He wouldn't leave. Before that, police said that since we're married, they can't get him out. I would have to go to my my landlord for it. And I didn't have time, and I got angry. So I said, I'm just gonna15:15 call and have them come and, you know, be the middleman because that was the only way that he wouldn't, like, talk me out of it. Like, he he was so good at talking me out of it. You know, like, basically,15:27 hey. I'm this person. I've been here with you. I'm the only 1 that's been around you. I know you more than anybody else. I'm I've had your back. And then you just gaslight me with, you know, just times that he did do15:37 stuff that had my back, you know, in a different time, and he'd use use that against me, and I was just so weak. Like, I watched my mother go through that as a child, and I never seen her leave. And then I ended up15:49 doing the same thing. Wow.15:52 So I but I think I'm hearing you say is you became your mom gave in and did basically against her16:04 better judgment, and you ended up doing the same. Am I hearing that correctly?16:12 Yes. Yeah.16:13 Okay. Now let me say something. There is a principle here. There's something that's kinda classic, and that is with children,16:25 more is caught than taught. With children, more is caught than taught. In other words, you see what a parent does and sometimes16:37 that's much more profound, much more influential, more influential on you as your mother's16:49 daughter because you're learning not just what she says, but what she does. And so that makes it17:00 harder for you to break free until you finally realize you're responsible before God to do what is17:12 right and not just cave in to what another person does like your husband because apparently your mom did that over and over. Does17:24 that make sense at all?17:26 Yes. Okay.17:29 And by the way, there are times when I did the same thing and it not not not identical. But I17:40 found at times I would not speak up because my mom didn't. None of us countered my dad when he was being17:52 cruel. But I my dad was just a dictator, and I I did not and because mom gave in, I gave in.18:04 No. Because I didn't see any modeling of anything else. So it's hard, isn't it?18:12 Yeah. It is. And18:16 Now I've had to learn, but I'm I'm I'm a slow learner. But I've, at times, had to have had to learn to speak up and set18:28 a boundary when that that wasn't modeled for me and it's not my natural. And it sounds like that might be something that you'll18:40 be called to do is not just cave in if your husband is not speaking the truth, not dealing with what's18:52 right, not doing what is right. So what is the status right now of both your children and your husband?19:05 Okay. So alright. On the status of my kids, they are with my aunt and uncle under kinship, and it's been, like, 2 years.19:17 I just saw them today. My as for my husband, yesterday, I I did, like, get the courage. I did go to the courthouse,19:30 went to a family law clinic. And for anybody listening, that's for people that are low income. And I I don't know if that's in every city, but in Cincinnati, Hamilton County,19:41 they they handle your paperwork with you. They go through it with you, the process of of going through divorce. Everything you have to, like, split up if it's assets, and they give you a waiver,19:53 like, if you're low income. So Mhmm. So I I did file yesterday for divorce. Mhmm. And I didn't tell him.20:07 Okay. And the reason that you filed for divorce was and you fill in the blank.20:19 K. The reason I filed for divorce is because it's it's no way for our marriage to work, especially with him not20:31 having God in the marriage. And that's what I told him. Like, it's also emotional abuse, but my main thing is that he he's baptized,20:42 he is not doesn't, like, go to church, doesn't pray. And I don't I don't don't understand20:54 because I feel like I see more of, like, the enemy through him. Just the things he says. Like, if I say, you wanna go to church? He says no because there's men there. He he21:06 thinks about that. And I'm like, no. We should just we need to focus on going there for God so he can help us, strengthen us, and he he won't do it. And then sometimes he's like, oh, yeah.21:18 I'll do it. But he only would wanna go just so I stop talking about it. And I prayed to God about that too because at 1st, I read that, you know, in a marriage, you're supposed to stay in your marriage and only21:30 leave, like, if it's infidelity. But then when you, like, look up emotional abuse and, like, search in, type in God with that, you find things and it shows how god feels about that. And he said to separate21:41 yourself from people that are harmful that's, you know, talking down to you, doesn't want you in that place.21:49 Well, the Bible definitely says bad company corrupts good character. And at times, it matters who we22:01 allow to influence us. And if the negative if it produces a negative effect, then there has to be a22:13 type of change. There are different ways to cause change. But what I'm hearing of alright. So the current status is your children22:24 are with an aunt and uncle. Are they a good influence on your children?22:31 Yes. They are. Yeah.22:33 Great. Okay. Excellent. Good. And that's huge. And that they need stability. Yes. And then so you need22:45 prayer for how to be stable in your own life.23:00 Thanks for listening to Hope in the Night with June Hunt. When you lose someone you love, grief can touch every area of life. And sometimes even years later, a memory or special occasion can make that23:12 loss feel fresh again. But in the midst of grief, God's word gives hope. Revelation 21 4 says, he will wipe every tear from our eyes and 1 day there will be no more death or mourning or23:23 crying or pain. This month, we'd love to send you a copy of our keys for living book called grief, living at peace with loss. It's our way of saying thanks when you give a gift to support the ministry of hope for the23:35 heart. This biblical resource will help you understand the grieving process and find comfort in God's promises and show you practical steps on how to move forward with hope. So request your copy when you give today23:47 at hope for the heart dot org slash give or text the word give to 7 0 9 1 9. That's hope for the heart dot org slash give or text the word give to 7 0 9 123:59 9.24:00 If you enjoy listening to June Hunt and Hope in the Night, you'll want to check out Hope for the Heart's Complete System of Care. The Complete System of Care is a comprehensive set of biblical24:11 resources from June Hunt designed to give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life. From June's Keys for Living books and free resources to in-depth video courses,24:23 these tools cover over 100 real life issues like anxiety, grief, relationships, mental health, and more. All of our resources are professionally informed, rooted in24:35 God's word, and full of practical guidance to help you grow in your walk with the Lord. So whether you need personal help or want to be trained to help others, there's something here for you. Explore the24:46 complete system of care today and get the tools you need to take better care of yourself and others. Go to hope fortheheart dot org today or text care to 7 0 9 1 9 to learn24:58 more.25:11 Welcome back to Hope in the Night. If you're facing a problem and would like to be a guest on this program, we'd love to have you, and we have plenty of time on our broadcast calendar. All you have to do is reach25:23 out to us. You can do that by calling 1 809 17 or by texting the word caller to 7 0 9 1 9. By leaving the message or sending the text, that25:35 will take care of starting the scheduling process. Somebody from our staff will reach out to you and we'll find a time where you can join us on the radio program. Our program happens Monday through Friday, 1125:47 PM to midnight. So that's when you're gonna need to be available if you'd like to talk to June about your problem. It doesn't matter if you have a simple question about something you read in God's word.25:59 Maybe you're having a conflict in a relationship or a struggle with addiction. Could even simply be financial problems where you're not sure exactly how to manage your money. With over26:11 100 topics, there's not many things that June hasn't talked somebody through and given them just straight out of the Bible biblical truth about. And we'd rather you get it from us26:22 than trying to do a search engine on the web, an AI prompt, or even just grabbing your phone or device and asking whatever the name of your digital assistant is26:34 to solve this problem for you. We'd rather give you the biblical truth, practical help that you need. Well, let's continue this call now with Nicole.26:45 Well, sweetheart, what is your plan now? At least your your children are secure with their aunt and26:56 uncle. And what is your plan? I know you've filed for divorce, and he's definitely not a believer. And he's27:10 basically manipulated you for a number of years. And so what what what are your thoughts now?27:21 My thoughts now is to really just not lean on my own understanding. I know this is a is a time27:33 where I feel, you know, weak in the season, and I really have to just stay really close to God and just always, like, read read the bible,27:47 read inspirational, just stay connected as as much as possible because I feel like it's it's very dangerous, you know, when you go through this. And then now with27:58 the following divorce, the the things that come with that, you know, like, just him his his reaction to it, come into this28:09 apartment, you know, like, just unexpectedly, just thinking things like that that can happen. And I just, like, been praying over it and just28:22 really just28:23 Are you in a biblically solid church right now?28:32 Yeah. Crossroads, and I would say I went, like, 2 Sundays ago. It it had been a while of going to my church,28:44 but before that, I was connected to him, like, in 23 and 4 of Uh-huh. Because they have services online, so I did28:56 that online. Like, I could watch the services the the morning. But I did go Sunday, you know, for the 1st time.29:04 Yeah. Okay. It would be wonderful if you were to be a part of a church, the like the bible29:16 study where there could be also authentic Christians, where you could grow29:28 in in a relationship with several of the people there, and there can be a genuine relationship, a29:40 friendship. The the bible is very clear about how we need to be among those who have a a29:52 genuine faith in the Lord. And, we're even told, do not forsake the assembling of30:04 yourselves together. In other words, being a part of a church where you're assembling with them, not just watching30:15 online even though that can be beneficial. But you do need support. You do need a relationship30:27 with people who are wise. Do you have a truly wise friend or not really?30:38 I would say okay. So I would say I think God is actually working on this right now, and I'll make it short. I had had a talk30:50 appointment with the lady with a lady at church. Her name is Anna. And you'll find a card, you know, just to say you wanna talk to someone about, you know, anything you're going through kinda like this.31:01 Yes.31:01 And her yeah. And she she called me, and to my surprise, she actually went through the same thing I went through.31:10 Wow. Wow. What a blessing to have somebody who really understands firsthand.31:17 Yeah. And with her, they volunteer. She was she said, usually, what they do is volunteer and just listen. They they don't try to, like they give you advice, but they don't tell you what to do. That was a thing, not tell31:29 you what to do. But 1 thing she was telling me, like, hey. I really wanna tell you this. I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to once you you know, with the divorce, don't go don't go looking for another31:41 man. Don't feel like you if you're lonely, you have to, you know, just find and be with someone. You know, let Jesus be your man. That's what she told me. And then she gave me Yes. She said I could talk to her anytime I31:53 wanted, and, basically, just we we can be friends if she just wants to help me.31:59 That's wonderful.32:00 Yeah.32:02 Right. No. That that's very important. You know, when you think about it, since your husband blocked you from having32:13 meaningful people in your life, even family and friends, that's very unhealthy. That's that's not normal. That's32:25 not wise. Because when you think about what the bible actually says, it it's like as iron sharpens iron. So 1 person32:36 is to be sharpened by another person. But that we and you look at the life of Jesus. He had yes, he had disciples,32:48 but there was a close, close relationship that he had with Peter, James, and John. And he had a very endeared relationship33:00 with Lazarus, very very close, and his 2 sisters, Mary and Martha, and often would stay with them.33:13 And meaning at times when he was involved in his in the ministry. This is before, of course, he was crucified on the cross. But the point33:25 is these relationships are very, very meaningful, and it's going to make a difference for you since you were33:36 blocked for a number of years. Now is the time to to ask God to bring you healthy,33:48 wise friends. And that means because of the scripture, you know, he who walks with the wise grows wise.34:00 You need wise friends. Do you not agree with that?34:06 I agree. Yeah.34:07 Good. So pray, and you can quote the scripture. He who walks with the right wise grows wise, or in this case, she who walks with the wise34:19 grows wise. And there are times when you can see things clearly, and you can help34:31 another friend. But there are times when if we're under huge stress, we can feel inadequate. We're not sure.34:44 And this is why a friend can be hugely helpful. And I wanna encourage you to developShow more
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