Skip to content Pray for Love - Part A Dec 10 · 26 min ...more
Pray for Love - Part A
December 10, 2025 · 26 min
What should you pray for most? Pastor Skip shows how love—real, discerning, Christlike love—is at the heart of every powerful prayer.
Series Connect with Skip Heitzig Podcast December 10, 2025 · 26 min · Connect with Skip Heitzig Podcast
What should you pray for most? Pastor Skip shows how love—real, discerning, Christlike love—is at the heart of every powerful prayer. ...more Show the full description Show less What should you pray for most? Pastor Skip shows how love—real, discerning, Christlike love—is at the heart of every powerful prayer.
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0:01 This is Connect with Skip Heitzig. Thanks for joining us today. Here at Connect with Skip, our mission is to help you know God's word and apply it to your life through clear, practical bible teaching and real0:12 encouragement every day. And if you'd like to keep growing in your walk with Jesus, sign up for pastor Skip's free weekly devotional. You'll receive biblical insight, teaching highlights, and exclusive resource0:23 offers straight to your inbox. Everything designed to help you stay strong in your faith. Only takes a minute to sign up. Go to connectwithskip dot com and join the list today. That's connectwithskip0:35 dot com. Now let's dive into today's teaching from pastor Skip Heitzig.0:40 Philippians chapter 1, where we get into the substance and the sum of Paul's prayer for them. Most people never associate prayer with pop music.0:52 But there is an interesting country song that's been around for a few years by a guy named Jaren Lowenstein. He goes by Jaren, and it's a song1:05 called I Pray For You. It's a song based upon the bitter breakup that he had with his girlfriend, And he puts an interesting twist on prayer. He1:16 said, I haven't been to church since I don't remember when. Things were going great till they fell apart again. So I listened to the preacher. He told me what to do. He said, you can't go hating others who have1:28 done wrong to you. Sometimes we get angry, but we must not condemn. Let the good Lord do his job, and you just pray for them. So his chorus is, I1:40 pray your brakes go out running down a hill. I pray a flower pot falls from a windowsill and knocks you in the head like I'd like to. I pray your1:52 birthday comes and nobody calls. I pray you're flying high when your engine stalls. I pray all your dreams never come true. Just know wherever you are, honey, I pray for you.2:04 I think we can do much better than that. And Paul does better than that in the book of Philippians. You'll notice in chapter 1 verse 4 that he mentions that he prays for them.2:17 In verse 3, he says, I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy.2:30 Now, if you know anything about Paul, you know that in many of his letters, he includes his prayer for his audience. When he writes the book of Ephesians, he includes a prayer. When he2:42 writes the book of Philippians, when he writes the book of Colossians, he includes a prayer. When he writes the book of Thessalonians, he includes a prayer in 1 Thessalonians. When he writes to Timothy, he2:54 includes a prayer. To Philemon, he includes a prayer. That is a part of Paul's life. He prayed for people, and he did it regularly. And he told them what he3:05 prayed for. And I think it's safe to say that nothing really defines a person's spiritual life more so than that person's prayer life. And Paul had a deep and abiding 1. Now3:17 just an interesting note about that. Whenever you read Paul's prayers for people, he never once prays for anything physical. I'm not3:29 saying he never did. It's just never recorded that he did. What he prays for are things that he thought were much more important than just a general blessing for the church or a physical ailment.3:41 But what he wrote down were the really heart issues that matter the most. And in this case, we find out that he prays for love. In verse 9, he3:53 says, and this I pray. So here's the main request. This I pray, that your love may abound still more and more4:05 in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense until the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of4:17 righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ to the glory and the praise of God. Now Paul has 1 thing that he's praying for, 14:28 specific thing above all else, and that is love. That is the sum of his prayer. He's praying for their love. All of the other phrases4:40 beyond that in verse 9, 10, and 11 support that 1 main thought. Now, why would Paul pray for their love? Well, because4:52 that is the hallmark of their faith, right? He said, now abide faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love. Jesus said, by this, all men will know you're my disciples, by the5:04 love you have for 1 another. So he prays for the most important expression of their Christian faith, and that is the expression of love. By5:16 the way, Paul also mentions the idea of love, not only here, but also in those other books that I just mentioned Colossians, Ephesians, Thessalonians, and others.5:27 We're not surprised because faith is important, and hope is vital, but love is the culminating5:39 hallmark. Now, Dwight L. Moody once said something interesting. He said, you know, a man can be a good doctor without loving his patients or a good lawyer without5:51 loving his clients, or a good geologist without loving rocks or science. But a man cannot be a good Christian without love. And I'm really glad it's Mother's6:03 Day because of all the people that I think set the standard for selfless living and unselfish love, it's a mother. At6:15 least I can say that in my family. You've heard the old saying, he has a face only a mother can love. That says more about a mother than a face. It6:27 says that a mom's love is always there. It's always steadfast. No matter who you are or what you've done, you can always count on a mother's love. And I found that to be very, very true in my own situation.6:39 The Jews used to have a saying that God couldn't be everywhere, and so he created mothers. I think it's more of a statement rather than an absolute theological statement. It's a way of6:51 saying the way God expresses his presence is so often through the life of a godly mother. So we're so thankful today that it's Mother's Day, and we can express that7:03 to you. Well, what I want to show you in Philippians 1 verses 9, 10, and 11, in Paul's prayer are 4 attributes of mature love, 4 attributes of mature love. Now, as7:15 we go through these 4 attributes, what I'd like you to do is to be comparing your own expressions of love to what Paul prays for theirs ought to be.7:27 4 attitudes, 4 attributes of mature love. The first is this, our love should be plentiful. Look at verse 9 and notice, in this I pray that your love7:39 may abound still more and more. The word abound means to super abound or to exceed a fixed7:50 number or a fixed measure. Now, it's evident that they already loved 1 another. Paul felt their love, and Paul makes note of it in this book. You'll notice in8:02 verse 9, I pray that your love may abound notice this still, more, and more. In other words, that implies they already do it. He just doesn't want them8:14 to do it less. He wants them to continue to do it and to do it more, that your love would abound still more and more. Now how do you increase8:26 something that's already overflowing? Well, it's pretty easy. You just turn on the hose and walk away. Let it run. This is a mistake I've made in my own yard. I have inadvertently8:37 watered my neighbor's yards from time to time by trying to fill a little pond or water an area of my grass or a tree, and I forgot. And 2 hours later, it's like, oh, there's water everywhere.8:51 Now, when Paul says, I'm praying for your love to abound, what is he speaking of specifically? It's possible that he is praying that9:03 their love would be the kind of love that goes out of the boundaries of loving just the church and loving different kinds of people in the world. That certainly would be9:15 in line with what Jesus was all about. He said, for God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son. A few years ago when I went to Iraq for the9:27 first time, I've told you that I brought shoe boxes with me, 20000 shoe boxes that many of you packed. And we brought them into Baghdad. The most9:38 striking thing about that trip is what 1 of the Iraqi officials said to me. He made a statement that was shocking. He said, up to this point in my mind, he said, I always thought9:50 we always thought that it was the Christian West that hated us. But I can see by this token of your love that it's the Christians that love us.10:04 Your simple shoebox expressions were like overflowing love into another culture that never experienced something like that before. However,10:16 I believe that Paul is referring to the specific demonstration of love to 1 another within the church. I don't think he's speaking of loving God. I don't think he's speaking of loving10:28 God's world. I think he's specifically speaking of loving God's people, the church. Why do I say this? Because he writes the same thing almost in 110:40 Thessalonians chapter 3, verse 12. Let me read it to you. May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other.10:52 Why is that important? I think it's important because sometimes it's easier to love people you never see than people you see every day. The11:04 easiest thing is talking about, I love the world. Oh, I love the world. But the people in your own home or in your own workspace, it's sometimes more11:16 difficult. It's like a cartoon I once saw. And the main character said, oh, I love the world. It's just the people I can't stand. It's easy to say I love people I never see, but people you11:28 do see and work with and live with, it's different. So I think he is praying that their love for 1 another would overflow, would abound more and more, that that hose of love would keep on running.11:41 Interesting, 1 of the church historians named Tertullian made mention in his writings that when the church started growing rapidly in the Roman Empire, that the11:53 government sent spies into different congregations because they were afraid that this new group of citizens, these Christians, would be very disloyal to the Roman government.12:02 You're listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig. As 20 25 comes to a close, generous support from friends like you is vital to keep Connect with Skip Heitzig strong in the year ahead so more people can hear God's word12:14 and find real hope in Jesus. Your year end gift today helps reach even more hearts with verse by verse teaching and resources that connect people with God's love. To thank you for your generous gift of12:26 50 dollars or more, we'll send you pastor Skip's new resource, the daily God journal, along with the digital companion devotional, the daily God book. These resources will help you align your heart with God's,12:38 let go of anxiety, and grow in steady faith through his word each day. So give your year end gift today at connectwithskip dot com slash offer, or call 8 0 0 9 2 212:50 1 8 8 8. Now let's get back to today's teaching.12:54 So 1 of the spies went into a church, came back, and wrote this report. These Christians are very strange people. They speak of 1 by the name of Jesus who is13:06 absent, but whom they seem to be expecting at any time. And my, how they love him. And my, how they love 1 another.13:18 Interesting that an unbelieving spy in a Christian congregation made note of the fact that they loved 1 another so intensely. So take that little test in your13:30 mind right now and ask yourself this. Does your own love abound? Would that be a word that describes the expression of your love? Think13:42 about your marriage. Is your love toward your spouse an abounding love? Or in your home toward your children or toward your parents or among your friends? Would you say13:54 that that is a good description of your own love experience in your life? You're the kind of a person that love just keeps growing and growing and abounding more and more.14:06 You say, is that even possible? Well, yes, it is possible. It is possible because in Romans chapter 5, Paul said, the love of God has been poured out in our hearts14:18 by the Holy Spirit. The love of God has been poured out, or literally it gushes out. It implies there is no limit to it at all. What that14:30 means then is that we have an unlimited capacity to love. If you're 1 of those type of people and I've met a few who say, I'm just14:42 fresh out of love. I've loved all the love out. I've got no more love to give. It's all gone now. I'd say, well, you need a better connection, because the love of14:54 God gushes out, is poured out by the Holy Spirit. Last time I checked, he never ran out. So what this implies is if God's love flows into your life, it ought15:06 to what? Flow out of your life. If God flows in, it must flow through to others. Malcolm Mugridge, a British journalist, once wrote,15:18 The biggest disease today is not leprosy or tuberculosis or any other disease, but rather the feeling of being unwanted, uncared for, and deserted by everybody. The greatest evil15:30 is the lack of love, that terrible indifference toward one's neighbor who lives at the roadside assaulted by exploitation, corruption, poverty, and disease.15:43 Now, what all of this tells me is that if I have such a capacity that the Bible tells me that I have to love people, that nobody around me should ever feel love15:55 starved. They should never feel love starved. They should feel love saturated, love soaked, but not love starved. Because if the love of God is poured out by his Holy Spirit16:06 into me, then it can then be poured out through me. I have to receive it so that I can give it. Our love then should be plentiful. That's the first attribute of a mature love. Second,16:19 our love should be perceptive. Now watch what he does. Paul could have just said, in this I pray that your love may abound still more and more, period. But he doesn't do16:30 that. He says, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment. Now, this is important, because now Paul is16:42 qualifying what overflowing love is to look like by adding these parameters of knowledge and discernment. You see, Paul is not naive. He's16:54 not throwing out love like some cliche is tolerate anything except everything kind of a love. He says, no. The overflowing love that I am speaking about to 1 another needs17:06 banks, just like a river has banks. And 1 bank is called knowledge, and the other bank is called discernment. And your love needs to flow within those banks to be safe. You see, overflowing love sounds really17:17 great, but it is like a river. And if that water has free flow without any direction or discretion, it can kill people. A17:29 few years ago, was in Honduras. They had just had a flood. And I was in a helicopter going over these villages. The homes were washed out. Schools, hospitals were gone. People were huddled in masses and in the jungles17:41 trying to find a place for shelter. And it was all because of a river that overflowed its banks. Water is a blessing. But that much17:53 water that just flows wherever it wants to can destroy people's lives. And so too with love. If our love is just pure emotion without discretion or18:04 direction, it can bring devastation. It needs those banks in which to flow. So let's look at them. Let's look at them 1 by 1. The first bank is called knowledge,18:16 that your love may still abound more and more in knowledge. What does that mean? The word ependosis, the Greek word for knowledge here,18:28 means expert knowledge, a mature knowledge brought on by experience. If you know anything about Paul's writing, you know that Paul will often take love and18:40 knowledge and combine them. Sometimes he'll oppose them. He'll show the difference between them. For example, in 1 Corinthians chapter 8, he says, knowledge puffs18:51 up, but love builds up. He's contrasting love and knowledge. Or 1 Corinthians chapter 13, Though I speak with a tongue of men or of angels, but I have19:03 not love, I've become like a clanging cymbal, sounding brass. And though I can understand all mysteries and have all knowledge, but I have not love,19:15 I have become nothing. So he says, knowledge needs love. But he also says, love needs knowledge for that love to be responsible love.19:28 Remember when Paul spoke about a zealous group of religious brethren of his? He said they have a zeal for God, but it's not according to knowledge. And he faulted them for19:40 that. It's pure emotion, but no knowledge. Now, if you diminish your need for knowledge and you place19:51 feeling above knowledge like so many people do, Just do what's in your heart, man, whatever you feel like doing. That is the most dangerous, irresponsible thing you could ever do. And20:03 you would be a dangerous person to live that way. Why do I say that? Well, you can feel out of love with your spouse and feel in love with somebody who's not your20:14 spouse. A parent can feel they ought to give something, whatever the child wants to their child. Just, I'm going to give it because I feel that that's the loving thing to do. Well, that could be20:26 the worst thing to do, to give them whatever they want. You may feel that love is letting another Christian do whatever he or she wants to do. That's where you need knowledge,20:39 the knowledge of Matthew chapter 18, where Jesus said, sometimes the most loving thing you can do is to confront another brother or sister, and that's love. So mature love20:51 is not sentimentality, nor is it emotion. It has banks. The first bank is knowledge. 2 Peter chapter 1, he says, Make every effort to add to21:03 your faith goodness, and to goodness knowledge. So follow me. Our love should be growing, but our love should also be knowing. Knowledge is21:15 1 of the banks that allows the free flow of love. There's another bank I want you to notice also in verse 9, and that is discernment, that your love may abound still more21:27 and more in knowledge and all discernment. Discernment means insight, mature insight, or sensitive moral perception.21:39 Allow me to explain. We might have an affection for somebody else, but that doesn't mean we have the right to express that affection any way we see fit. We need to21:51 bring discernment into it. See, there are moral and ethical considerations that are to govern the overflowing expression of our love to people.22:03 To discern something is to distinguish, to make a difference. And so every parent knows this, that love is expressed in different22:14 ways at different times to the same child. 1 day, a parent will give a gift to a child. Another day, a parent will spank a child. Both are22:26 legitimate expressions of love. Another example is that of Jesus Christ. Sometimes He'd heal a person. On another day, He would overturn the tables22:38 in the temple and with a whip drive out the money changers. Both are expressions of love, but in 2 different contexts. 1 day Jesus would say to the crowd, you are blessed. Blessed are you. Another day,22:50 he'd look at another crowd filled with Pharisees and say, you whitewashed sepulchers. Both are expressions of love from the 1 who is the author of love himself. Now, most of us know23:02 that the most frequently used Greek word for love in the New Testament is what? Tell me. Shout it out. Agape. Agape is the Greek word for love that23:14 expresses God's love for us. Generally, love for 1 another is to be at that supreme superior. That's what we aspire to, agape love. Well, make sure that your agape23:26 isn't sloppy. Don't love with sloppy agape. And sloppy agape is saying you love somebody, but it's really a selfish23:38 love. I'm going to do something or say something because I don't want to be disliked by that person. That's sloppy agape. 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verse 6 sums it up. Love23:49 does not rejoice in iniquity, but it rejoices in the truth. So our love should be abounding, plentiful love, but it should24:01 also be perceptive, having run within the banks of knowledge and discernment. Now look at verse 10. That you may approve the things that24:13 are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ. You see where it begins the sentence with the word that? Everything24:25 that follows is a purpose clause, it is called, a purpose clause. In other words, it means so that or in order that. Or Paul is saying,24:37 here's the reason you need these 2 riverbanks of knowledge and discernment. Here's why. Here's the purpose for it. It's so that you can approve the24:49 things that are excellent.24:52 Thanks for listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig. Before you go, don't miss your opportunity to request the Daily God Journal, along with the companion digital devotional, The Daily God Book. These25:04 resources are our thanks for your generous year end gift of 50 dollars or more to help connect with Skip Heitzig finish 20 25 strong and reach more people with the truth of God's word in the year ahead.25:15 Call 809 2 2 18 88 or go to connect with Skip dot com slash offer. Thanks for spending time with us today, and we'll see you next time on connect with Skip Heitzig.25:49 Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of Connection Communications, connecting you to God's never changing truth in ever changing times.
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Skip Heitzig ministers to over 15,000 people as senior pastor of Calvary Church in Albuquerque. He reaches out to thousands across the nation and throughout the
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