Skip to content Biblical Fatherhood - Lorenzo Agnes Nov 2 · 34 min ...more
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Empowering multimedia ministry for bold Christian living: Weekend Messages, Deep End Podcast, Deep Dive Bible Study. Tim Hatch, Lead Pastor, Waters Church, 26 years of pastoral ministry, book author.
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0:00 You're listening to Waters Church podcast, where faith meets real life. Where 1 church, many locations, and 1 mission, to see lives changed by Jesus. No matter where you're listening from, you0:12 are a part of Waters Church family. Now, let's dive into today's message from our pastor.0:20 Well, it's always a joy to preach here. You know, this is my favorite place in the world to preach. And this morning, I have a word which is something the Lord0:32 gave me. I was working on 2 other messages and on Tuesday, the Lord was this 1. So I'm trusting God that this is for many of us today. And, you know, I don't know0:44 if I said this to you last time, but it is impossible. I think it's no, let me say what I mean. I think it's impossible to expect any human being to listen for 30 or 400:56 minutes and remember a third of it, let alone all of it. Right? I have believed for the longest time that when you're in a situation like this and you're listening1:07 to a message whoever is preaching, that there's 1 thing that God the Father wants to say to you and wants to reach into your heart with and begin to work1:19 in you. And you know what? If it comes in minute 3 of the sermon, you can ignore the rest of it and take the time while you're here to let the Holy Spirit deal with you.1:31 So if something touches your heart or God speaks a word to you, please feel free to allow him to make it real in you because, friends, you know when God works1:43 in us, we become more like his son Jesus. Right? Amen? And so this morning, I want to speak on a very important subject. I want you to talk to us about1:54 godly fatherhood. Godly fatherhood. Can I say before we read the scripture that the 2 most important roles2:07 in all of humankind has been, is today, and will forever be is fatherhood and motherhood? I know that sounds obvious,2:18 but if you look at the world we live in today, you may not believe that. Fathers are ridiculed on TV, now it's happening with moms. And listen, there is nothing as2:30 important for a child as a loving, caring mother and as a godly father. Right? The opposite is true. Those of you who may have had the2:42 experience I had growing up where I had 1 but not the other, you end up screwed up, man. And if you don't find Jesus and allow him to fix you,2:54 you absolutely end up repeating the same mistakes that your parents made with you. Right? It's just the way the world is full of millions of examples of this. It's just the3:06 way that it works. But when your kids are raised in a godly home where both the mom and the dad are serving Jesus together, but are also not raising3:18 their kids based on cultural tradition or preferences, but raise their kids and act as parents based on what the scripture teaches,3:29 then that child finds God to be loving and kind and true and authentic and just, etcetera etcetera, and that whole generation ends3:41 up being saved and changed and advancing God's kingdom. So it's a huge deal. So let's reread this morning from Luke chapter 15. We're gonna3:53 read from verse 11 to 32 because this is an example that Jesus gives of what a godly father looks like. Now, this passage of4:04 scripture is often referred to as the parable of the prodigal son. Your your bible may even have a heading that says the prodigal son, But I4:16 wanna flip this a little bit on its head. This story is not so much about the son. It should actually be called the parable of the good father. Because actually, the main4:28 character in the story and that Jesus is trying to illustrate is the godly father. So let's read together from verse 11. Jesus continued, there was a man4:40 who had 2 sons. The younger 1 said to his father, father, give me my share of the estate. So he divided his property between them. Not4:52 long after that, the youngest son got together all he had, settled for a distant country, and they squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent5:04 everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out. Interesting language. He went and hired himself5:16 out to a citizen of that country who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. Now remember, the context here, this would have been a Jewish man.5:28 Right? So a Jewish man is feeding pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no 1 gave him anything.5:41 He's so desperate and hungry, he's even too willing to eat the food that the pigs are eating, but people disrespected him so much that they wouldn't even5:53 even let him have that. Verse 17, when he came to his senses, he said, how many of my father's hired servants have food to spare and here I am starving to6:04 death? I will set out and go back to my father and say to him, father, I have sinned against heaven and against you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your6:16 son. Make me like 1 of your hired servants. So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father6:28 saw him and was filled with compassion for him. He ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him.6:40 The son said to the father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. But the father said to his6:52 servants, quick, bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened7:04 calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate for the son of mine was dead and is alive again. He was lost and is found, and so7:16 they began to celebrate. Meanwhile, the oldest son was in the field, and when he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called 1 of the7:28 servants and asked him what was going on. Your brother has come, he replied, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound. The older7:40 brother became angry and refused to go in. Middle children, you will understand, refused to go in like me. So his father7:52 went out and pleaded with him, but he answered his father, look, all these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders.8:04 Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when he's the son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the8:16 fatted calf for him. My son, the father said, you are always with me and everything I have is yours. But8:27 we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again. He was lost and he's found. Great story. Those of you8:39 who have grown up in Mediterranean families, especially Italian like me, old school Italian, and you happen to not be the first child, especially if he was a male,8:52 you can really relate to the story. Right? Oldest kid comes first, family name is going to come through him, especially if he's a boy. In my case, not only was9:04 I not first, the only girl in the family, my youngest sister, came 5 years after me and as my brother said to me a few years ago, Lorenzo, you never stood9:16 a chance. Older brother, younger sister, I was the stereotypical middle child black sheep of the family. There is a reason9:28 why there are generalizations about this situation. I can so relate to the story in so many ways, especially the older brother's anger. But what can we deduce9:40 about this father? So we can safely assume that he was very hardworking, that he did well, that he was prosperous because we know from the story that he owned9:52 property because we see towards the end of the parable, the oldest son is in the field and he's so far away in the field from the house that initially he doesn't hear the music and the10:03 celebration. It's only when he comes closer after a hard day's work. So obviously, was a big enough property. Also, owned servants. So this is somebody who is doing well.10:16 Maybe you're a dad today and you relate to this. You're like, you know what? Truth be told, I'm actually doing okay. Secondly, obviously, he had a good enough relationship with both his10:28 sons because he is able to talk to them, they do communicate. You know, he is able to call them together and by the way, not at the end of his life, this is when the sons we can assume are fairly10:40 young, already at this point of their lives is like, listen guys, I've already established an inheritance for you and you can choose to do what you want with it. So he's a10:51 wonderful example for us to learn from. I'll tell you why, because this man displays 10 qualities which we, especially those of us who claim to be followers of11:03 Jesus, should have as godly fathers. The greatest heroes in life to me are not11:15 our military or the police or firefighters who all are heroes. We respect and honor them all. And if some of you here and are veterans like me, I11:27 respect you, I honor you. The greatest heroes in life for me are single parents. Happily married, 40 years in December, I married up, married a Christian11:38 woman. We've had a pretty mostly easy marriage. I mean, sometimes she can be really difficult, but we've had a really easy the opposite is true. Please don't watch this, lovey. Anyway, and my kids would be11:50 like, dad. Anyway, by God's grace, wonderful kids, 4 phenomenal grandsons. And Lord knows in spite with all of that, how much it take12:02 it took and takes to raise 2 kids. So when I hear of single moms or dads who have 1, 2, 3 or 4 kids, I I just have to bow to12:14 you and honor and respect you. I have no idea how you do it, especially for those of you who don't have a support system around you. Second thing I want to say, moms are12:26 so everything to kids. Dad, as great as we think we are, at the end of the day, man, good mothers make the world go around.12:38 Would you agree with that? That's true. Okay. Having said that, the flip side of that coin is good fathers impact their12:49 children in ways that moms cannot. I'll tell you why. I believe in my theology, I believe the scripture teaches us in Genesis already that13:01 God is father God is fully revealed through the man and the woman. That's the plan. When he gives them the commandment to go forth and multiply across13:13 the face of the earth, There are parts of God that are revealed only in a man and only in a woman and when they together have a child and raise that child in the ways of God,13:25 the child benefits from the fullness of God's expression. Does that make sense? Okay. So let's focus on the dad part today. And what we learned from this father is number13:37 1, he's fair. Verse 12 says, so he divided his property between them. The father doesn't use his wealth to13:48 manipulate his children. He does what is correct even though it cost him years and years of labor to build up what he had. And this is the lesson14:00 that we learn. When you're fair as a father, it breeds trust and respect in your children. When you are unfair as a father,14:12 it produces anger and frustration and disrespect. So dads, let's be fair with our kids. Let's make sure that we treat our kids14:24 equally. Right? I was asked many, many, many, many years ago, tell me honestly, Lorenzo, do you love 1 of your kids more than the other?14:37 To the younger person who didn't have kids yet, they were asking innocently and I looked at them and I said, well, obviously. No. I didn't say that. I said, of14:49 course not. I was bewildered, genuinely. You know, today I would pause and look wise and then say something, but I just blurted out, I said, that's it's impossible. How could I do that?15:02 And God reminded me that he loves us all he treats us all equally and fairly because he loves us equally and as dads, when you favor 1 child over another, it can be15:13 so damaging. Make sure that you are fair because it will breed trust and respect in your kids. And remember also as a father, whether your kids are doing it consciously or not, from a very15:25 early age, they really are learning who God the father is and what he does through our example. Right? It's a huge responsibility to bear which we couldn't15:37 do without the strength that the Holy Spirit provides and the guidance of the scriptures. Number 2, he's approachable. So here's this son who's gone and squandered his15:49 money, prostitutes, wild living, can't even eat the food of the pigs, all this stuff. And 1 day, he wakes up. He comes to his senses and he decides that he must16:01 go home. So he's ashamed. He's embarrassed. He actually says the words, I'm no longer worthy to be called your son. He's thought this through.16:13 Right? What's interesting is that although he's embarrassed and ashamed, he's unafraid. He's not scared of his father. And16:25 the first person that he thinks of is his dad. And you know, friends, I I over the last year or so, I've 3 or 4 times come across this meme on social16:36 media. And it's a guy's it's a it's a video but it's also a meme and I've I've watched and read them both. And it's it's a guy who says this, a dad who says this. He says, you know, I16:48 want to be the kind of father that when my kids get into trouble, however bad that trouble may be, I want their first instinct to17:00 be, I need to call dad. I need to call dad. He says that what would kill me is if their last thought was, I wanna17:12 call dad. I want their and he says this and say he says, from the beginning, I've worked at making sure that that is a reality. And when we are approachable17:24 as fathers, right, if our kids do something, they they whatever, break your heart even, they do something like this son, but they are unafraid to come to you because you're17:35 approachable, it's gonna prevent them from drifting further away and becoming easy targets for the devil. Number 3, his compassion. Verse 20, it literally17:47 says that he shows compassion. You know, it's interesting. I wonder I I I do. I've I've pondered this. Was he every day going to17:59 the front door and looking down the driveway wondering if today is the day that his son's gonna come home? Remember, no phones or messaging. He doesn't know where his son is.18:11 And then that day comes and he's like, is it? Could it be? I I think it is. Bring me my glasses. It is.18:25 Runs. The son is probably coming down, head down, miserable, you know, he's embarrassed, he's ashamed like the scripture. He doesn't know. He looks up, who is this? And it says his18:37 dad throws his arms around him and he kisses him and he rejoices. He's compassionate. And you know what he does? He shows mercy. And his18:49 son's immediate response, he blurts out, dad, I'm so sorry. I'm not even worthy to be your son. His father completely ignores him and says, welcome home. He forgives him. His19:00 compassion is merciful. And dads, you know, as men, sometimes when our kids have misbehaved, especially done something really stupid, maybe19:12 even illegal or unlawful, and have really damaged even other people, and our instinct is to want to sort them out. And if they are in our lives19:24 still and we have access to them, you know, you just want to read them the Riot Act and yet sometimes what's required at least initially before you get down to the conversation of what the heck.19:37 Hezekiah 18 verse 6. No, I'm just kidding. It's not in the bible. I just made that up while I'm standing here. But mercy, just to be merciful, to show compassion which isn't19:49 justified. You know, just like God the Father does for you and me every single day of our lives, Because mercy19:59 demonstrates an incomprehensible, undeserved love, which illustrates to those who've even hurt us who God is and what is like. Number 4,20:12 he's forgiven. He's forgiven. Right? So the father sees that the son's repentance is genuine. I'm sorry, dad. I've really messed up. I don't20:24 deserve you. I've sinned against God and against you. And you know he accepts his, repentance. He doesn't try to reason it or rationalize it or20:36 try to work through it, explanations. He forgives him completely, instantly, and he just welcomes him back. And it's important for us as fathers that20:47 when our kids mess up and apologize, that we forgive them. And you know, forgiveness means a lot of things, but 1 of the practical outworkings of20:59 forgiveness is we don't bring stuff up again in the future. Right? When they mess up again, which they're going to do like you and I are going to do, maybe even today, forgiveness21:11 isn't like, oh, yeah, but you remember when in 2016, you know, like your wife does. No. I'm completely kidding. For the record, I'm genuinely21:23 kidding. Listen, by the way, my wife said to me last time, true story, whenever you're at Warwick's, I forget that she watches the messages. She goes, you know, you all you make jokes about me21:35 and pastor Tim. Like, what is this? You know, he's not even there. The poor guy can't defend himself. I'm in another state. Like, people are gonna think you don't like me. And I was like, well, no.21:50 And I said, lovey, come on. I do that because I feel safe with you and I'm gonna do it again. Anyway, so now she has something to forgive me for. But because22:02 it can be easy for us, right, to remember stuff to use as a weapon, no, we forgive. We forgive and we move on. It doesn't mean you have to forget, but you choose to not22:14 bring it up again. Number 5 is generous. So think about this. He initiates, runs out to the child, welcomes him, embraces him, kisses22:25 him, and then says to his servants, bring out the fatted calf. Now typically, in those days, families or wealthy families like this would have a22:37 calf that they would feed and care for and there are many cultures in our world that do this today and in the Middle East and Africa, other parts of the world, But they literally would fatten a22:49 calf for sacrifice for special occasions and it was kind of we can eat any other cow, we can eat any other calf, but not that 1. And usually, it was determined beforehand what that23:01 occasion was gonna be. Excuse me. So he says to his servants while he's hugging his child, his son, go and get the fatted calf now. Slaughter the thing.23:13 Prepare the fire. We are gonna celebrate. We are gonna eat it now. And so, in a way, the father kind of had the right to23:24 just welcome his son and say, okay, I'm glad that you're home. Why don't you wash up? I'll meet you in the kitchen. Let's get some food and you are now let's talk about what you did.23:36 Right? Nothing special. Just that would be understandable. He is so generous. He goes the extra mile. It says that he says to his servants, bring the best coat and23:48 cover him. It's an illustration of how our generosity as parents covers the mistakes that our kids make. Like God's love does for us24:01 when he forgives us every time. Amen? In his generosity of grace. And then he says, and bring the sandals, which we can assume the guy was literally barefoot, which he would have been. He24:13 was completely destitute. And to me, it's symbolic of the father saying, put on the sandals, you're back home, you can walk anywhere you want. This all is a part of yours24:25 again. But most importantly, he says bring a ring and he puts it on his finger. And it was very typical in those days for families to have a ring with their24:36 family symbol on it. And what he's saying is, you left me, but I never left you. And you've come back24:48 home, you've always been my son, even when you behaved in ways that others would have thought of you were no longer, but you are. You are part of me and of25:00 this family as much as you've ever been put the ring on his finger. These are all symbols of generosity of him going the extra mile. And dads, this is the lesson25:12 we learn. When our kids have messed up, we take the first steps towards restoration because that ensures and be generous in your restoration. If25:24 you're a father here this morning and you're restrained from a child, call in today. And if if they rejected you 20 times, do it again and again and again and be generous25:36 and don't attach any conditions to it and just plead with your son to come home, your daughter to come home. Just just embrace them and welcome them back25:48 and treat them with generosity. Literally prepare a meal. Maybe they've gone and done something stupid and they've gotten involved in things they shouldn't have been and they're ashamed and embarrassed.26:00 Let them know that you're waiting and when they come home, treat them like they've never left and restore them immediately to the sonship and the daughtership that they always have had26:12 in your hearts. Number 6 is joyful. Verse 24. Right? Let's celebrate. In pastor Tim's language,26:24 let's party down, people. I hope he's watching. But in modern day language, come on everybody, let's be joyful, let's celebrate, let's have a party.26:37 You know, this tells me that in spite of him being hardworking like we all are and being consumed with providing and making sure that our kids26:49 have food on the table and clothes on their back and education. And sometimes we can get so focused and bogged down with all that stuff that quite honestly27:01 we can just be miserable. Right? And a smile is rare. Sometimes you come home, you know, especially when my kids were little and now I have 427:13 grandsons, 7, 3 and 3 and then like 7, 8 months And I'm very close to all my grandsons and, you know, we're we're still when I visit and they're 3 year old27:25 and I I have this habit, I walk in the door and I go, hello, hello, hello, in case there's somewhere else in the house and they know that I'm there and they always run up to me. And you know the the 3 year old, because27:36 the 7 year old is too tall, too big for me now, to pick up spontaneously. The 3 year old comes and he runs and he just jumps. He's totally assuming that I'm gonna catch him. There's no27:50 it's so gorgeous. Every single time, there is no thought in his mind at all that I'm not gonna pick him up and tickle him and kiss him on both28:02 cheeks and play with him and wrestle. I mean, there's no it it just would be a foreign concept to him that Nonna wouldn't do this. Right? And you know, a couple of months28:13 ago, this happened. It was a Sunday after church and I went over and I'm driving home and the Holy Spirit says to me, do you think it's any different28:26 every day with you? Do you think it's different? It's like the father saying to me through the spirit, do you not think that I, as your heavenly father, rejoice28:38 every time that you come? I I want you to expect that I'm gonna pick you up and enjoy you and have fun with you and that we are going to quote28:50 unquote play together. You are still my child. I know for men that's kind of this sounds really this sounds a bit goofy. What what did you have for breakfast this morning?29:02 No. It's a real thing. And I will say for us as dads, you we owe it to our kids to have fun because you know what? Can I say this? Forgive me. I hope this doesn't offend29:13 you. There's a there's a way that dads have fun with their kids that I just don't think anybody else can do. I mean, I don't think moms really do this stuff. We29:25 fart and burp and throw them on the couch and when nobody else is looking, we bounce them off chairs and whatever it may be. There's something I cannot explain it29:37 to you in English properly. There's something that happens when a father has fun and he's full of joy with their children that's different29:49 to when a mom does that and the kids need that. Number 7, he's humble. It says, so his father went out. Right? This is great. He's humble. He goes30:01 to meet the oldest son. He says, come on, man. Come back inside. You know how important this is. Your brother's back. He's alive. He's healthy. Come on. Number 8 is30:12 patient. He pleads with him. He doesn't humiliate the older son. He doesn't embarrass him. He says, listen. Everything I have is yours30:24 too. Right? It's been here all the time, but he doesn't like rub it in. He says, come on, you are not more or less important. He's patience with them. And you know what's30:36 great about patience, dads? Patience is a healer. When we are patient with our kids, it brings healing and peace. Number30:47 9, he's kind. He's kind. He's overflowing with kindness and acceptance. And then in closing, he's wise. Number 10. You know why?31:00 He understands that he's preparing his sons for eternity. He gets it that things don't matter. Whether it's the31:11 younger son who squandered money or the older son who's upset because he didn't get stuff from his dad, what he's trying to teach them is that31:23 relationships are eternal, earthly things shall pass. And so this God fearing man who's based his life not on31:35 emotion or reaction, but on principles and values teaches us as dads today. Make sure that your fatherhood is based on the values and principles31:47 we learn in scripture because then you don't respond according to how you feel that day or to what your upbringing was. You respond according to the lessons that31:58 God teaches us in his word. Amen? And so, can I just say in closing as we prepare to just worship again, that maybe you're literally a prodigal son? Maybe32:10 you're somebody who served the Lord and the Holy Spirit brought you to church today because you've been distant and you're sitting here today thinking, well, the stuff I've done, the Lord can32:22 never take me back again. You're wrong. This story teaches us that God is waiting for you today with open arms and he will celebrate you and restore you immediately to the32:33 relationship that you had with him before you walked away from him. And then secondly, maybe you're somebody who's never ever met God. You didn't know that God was a father. Maybe you've never met Jesus as your32:45 savior. Today is the day for you to come home. And then thirdly, maybe you're a dad and you're listening to the word this morning and you're going, oh my word, you know what, I'm I'm32:57 just not this man that Lorenzo is talking about, I fail so miserably. Well, welcome to the club called fatherhood, Right? Being a dad. It's hard33:08 work, but it's God's work, and the Holy Spirit will help you. You just have to say, Lord, I need your help today. So let's just bow our heads, and I wanna pray for us.33:21 Father, in Jesus' name, by the power of your holy spirit, thank you for your goodness and your kindness. Thank you for your word. Thank you so much, Lord, for reminding us today that33:33 as our heavenly father, Lord, you pursue us and you wait for us, and it is you who have so generously and kindly and mercifully and patiently33:45 shown your love to us and just poured your grace upon us. And I pray for all of us dads here this morning that you will help us to be good examples of godly fatherhood.33:57 Amen. God bless you guys. Thank you.34:01 Thanks for listening to Waters Church podcast. To learn more, connect with us, or to visit a campus near you, head over to waters church dot org. We can't wait to see what God will do in your life this week. And join us34:12 again next week for more life changing messages from Waters Church.
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