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Empowering multimedia ministry for bold Christian living: Weekend Messages, Deep End Podcast, Deep Dive Bible Study. Tim Hatch, Lead Pastor, Waters Church, 26 years of pastoral ministry, book author.
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0:00 You are listening to Waters Church podcast. Waters Church is a multisite, multigeneration community of faith on the East Coast of America. Now for a message from our pastor.0:18 Today's topic is how to be a parent. And next week, I can't tell you, it's so important to close out this series. It is how to be something that some of you don't think you are, but you are. And make sure0:30 that you come out, and I don't want you to I don't wanna tell you what the topic is because you might not come because you don't think it's you, but it is you. Next week, we will close out this series. Today, we are0:38 talking about how to be a parent, and today, I think more than ever, we need to talk about this in the church because the enemy wants to come after our kids. So what what happened to0:50 me, yeah, this past 36 hours is I got food poisoning. I ingested something that I thought was harmless, but actually contaminated my body. And I was thankful this morning. I woke up in perfect health. I'm1:01 feeling 100 percent better. And then I thought about this. The human body is a marvel. God has programmed it to recover from contaminants that we can put into it. Here's why that1:13 matters because some of you have put contaminants spiritually into your body you're not even aware of. You've eaten the wrong food, and then you've suffered the consequences. Well, I got good food for you today from1:25 God's word. Because unlike our natural bodies, our spiritual bodies do not automatically heal themselves. They need medicine. They need the true medicine. Sometimes the surgical work of1:36 the sword of the spirit on our hearts and souls. So today, my agenda is very simple. I want you to be parents in Jesus' name. And if you're a child, I want you to
1:48 learn how to be a parent before you're a parent because there's no manual. There's no manual. I I I am amazed how you can't leave Best Buy without a manual for your television.
2:01 But you can leave the hospital with the most important thing you'll ever have in your hands, and they don't give you anything. They just say, good luck. Now pay the bill. That's basically it. So there are
2:12 some problems facing parents today. 4 problems as I talked about all series long, the 4 problems facing men, women, and marriage, 4 problems facing parents. Write these down. Number 1,
2:24 technology. Your children understand technology way better than you. I'm at that point where I'm seeing my child my 12 year old understand technology better than me. I I consider myself a technology
2:36 buff. I love technology. I I'm the kind of parent. I'm the kind of man of the house. If anybody's with me, I like Alexa to do everything. I have her do everything. Alexa, turn on the kitchen lights.
2:48 Alexa, turn turn on the television. Alexa, turn on the and and for those of you staying at home and watching on YouTube dot com slash waters church, Alexa, remind me next Sunday morning to actually go to church.
2:58 Give her time to put that in the thing. Okay. I love it. I love technology, but, I'm at that stage where I'm seeing technology starting to pass me by.
3:10 Hey. There's something called AI, artificial intelligence. It's coming for your kids. Technology is broadband access to hell for your kids' souls. Be very careful about this because
3:22 the enemy knows it, and he will leverage it for evil. Technology itself is not evil, but it can be used for evil just like money. Money is not evil. It can be used for evil. You can broadband biblical instruction into
3:33 your house, or you can broadband the devil's products. Uh-huh. I think it's ridiculous to let any child under the age of 15 have a smartphone. Wow. It's quiet.
3:45 It's ridiculous to let any child under the age of 15 have a smartphone. Florida recently passed a law that no child under 16 can be on social media. I think that is a good start. I
3:58 don't know why you think your kid needs to have all these experiences that they do not need to have. Exactly. You will not rob them if you protect them. Amen. You will not rob them if you shield them. You are the
4:08 guardian at the gate, parents, Particularly with regard to technology. Well, how will my children contact me when the soccer practice is over? Okay. You could stay there and
4:20 watch the practice, or you could get them a dumb phone. They don't need a smartphone. There's plenty of dumb phones out there. Prepaid minutes. Do the work necessary so that they can call you and text you and do nothing
4:31 else. Because technology is coming from you for your children. Okay? This is nothing new. Technology has always been doing this. Number 2, education. It's coming for your
4:42 children. I'm gonna do something that I never do, and I'm gonna recommend a book other than the Bible today. And I've never I don't think I've ever done this. I didn't know. Did this with, Psalm 23 on a shepherd looks at
4:52 Psalm 23, but I'm gonna do this with parenting today because it's that important. And this is not a Christian book, but it's written by a Jew, and I trust, conservative Jews, almost as much as godly Christians. Abigail
5:04 Shrier, she wrote the book Bad Bad Therapy, Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up. I think every parent needs to get this book. You need to get this book because this book will show you the undermining of education in your
5:16 kids' lives is coming between you and your children. And it starts at the top in our structure. The CDC recommends surveys be given to your child in public schools without your permission, and
5:28 they don't even tell you about the survey. They don't even tell you about the survey. Wanna know what the survey is? She's got it on she's got several surveys from several states because each state has its own addition
5:39 of the survey. Chapter 7 is called hunting, fishing, mining, mental health survey mischief. The questions on 1 particular survey that was administered to the state
5:51 of Colorado, elementary schools goes like this. Answer the following children in elementary schools. I can tell my parents about the way I feel. I like to do things with my family. I
6:02 usually have dinner with my family. I have I feel close with my family. I spend time with my family doing things like shopping, playing sports, working, or in school projects. My parents notice when I don't when I do a
6:13 good job and let me know. Besides my family, there is an adult I can trust. Important people in my life often let me down. Why on earth is public education asking children, elementary school
6:24 kids to answer and fill in the blanks on those statements? This is from the state of Florida. Bad news, Florida. The CDC has pumped your kids full of these surveys, unfortunately. Here's 1 mental health
6:36 assessment in the state of Florida administered, suggested, recommended by the CDC. By the way, anything the CDC says, do the opposite. It's disgusting.
6:49 During the past 12 months, did you ever feel so sad and hopeless almost every day for 2 weeks or more in a row that you stopped doing your usual activities? That's number 1. Number 2, during the past 12 months, did you
6:59 ever seriously consider attempting suicide? Number 3, during the past 12 months, did you make a plan about how you attempt suicide? Number 4, during the past 12 months, how many times did you actually attempt suicide?
7:08 Number 6, 5, if you attempted suicide during the past 12 months, did any attempt result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that had to be treated by a doctor or nurse? Now there is something called the power of
7:19 suggestion. Your mind can be shaped by what you hear. In fact, studies have now come out that many times what people believe is trauma in their past actually isn't trauma, it's just been
7:30 suggested to be trauma by a therapist. This is coming for the heart and mind of your child. And I don't understand why they want to divide, but I do understand because the God of this world knows
7:42 that his number 1 enemy is a healthy, godly family. Amen. Yes. Come on. And if we do not have healthy god and godly families, we will lose our country. We will lose
7:54 our safety. We will lose our civil rights. All the things that you see happening in the streets of America's cities right now, all the protests, ignorance is running amok amongst our young. Why?
8:06 Because the enemy has successfully divided parent from child, and the educational system is the target of the enemy to do just that. You do not trust the public school
8:18 system. I repeat, you do not trust the public school system. And for years I did. And
8:30 for years and I'm public educated. I am public school educated. It was different when I was growing up. It wasn't what it is today. It has been co opted by the LGBT alphabet gang and the therapy
8:42 industry. And a lot of people stand to make a lot of money by therapeutic your kids to death. Be mindful of the battle that is waged right now for your child. What does God
8:54 do what does the devil do from the outset of the Garden of Eden? He tries to divide the man from the woman. And then the child from the child, and the parent from the child. This has been a strategy from day 1, and if we
9:04 do not get this act together, if we do not get our act together in our homes as Christians, we will lose our generation. Number 3, government, because government is the 1 who's leading these
9:16 schools. Government is trying to undermine parental authority like never before. When you do not have healthy families, you get government to take over. When you do not have fathers taking on responsibility, carrying
9:26 heavy loads, working and providing for their children and for their wives, the government will happily step in and do that and promise all the goodies it can offer you. But as a wise president once said, the fortieth
9:37 president of the United States, Ronald Reagan, any government big enough to promise you everything is also large enough to take it away. Be careful because this is not this is not just amoral. This is not just something
9:48 that is a benefit. I always get alarmed whenever the government wants to promise me anything. And on and and and all of this inflation that you're experiencing right now, why you can't pay your bills. You know why?
9:58 Because for 3 years, our government gave you money. That's why. Nobody wants to tell you that, but that's why. And they'll make all kinds of other rational agreements and those arguments about it, but this is the truth.
10:08 Whenever government steps in to solve a problem, they create 1 and then they ask for more government. You gotta be careful because the God of this world is the God of this world. And he is also
10:20 actively involved in the centers of governmental power across this planet. He knows where to strike. I believe he's very active in Washington DC. You have to be mindful and use discernment when you hear the
10:31 news and what people want you to believe about your relationship to this country. This is very serious. Number 4, the self esteem movement has undermined parental
10:43 authority like I can't tell you. I I could spend a whole talk I could spend the whole talk on this 1. The self esteem movement is summed up in 1 simple phrase. How do I feel today? You know the 1 the fastest way to
10:55 feel depressed is to ask yourself, how do I feel today? Because I guarantee you that when you woke up this morning, the first thing that you did not feel like doing is going to church. Anybody with me on that, or am I
11:05 the only 1 that's honest? When I first woke up, I was like, I don't wanna go to church. Well, I have to be there. They pay me to be there. But you get aft you get past your feelings. That that's when that's what
11:17 adults do. Adults go past their feelings. Adults feel like not going to work, but then they go to work anyway. And and the therapeutic
11:28 industry the therapeutic industry is all based on this. How do you feel? How do you feel? How do you feel? How do you feel? Do you feel like killing yourself? Do you feel like killing yourself? Do you feel like killing
11:36 yourself? I mean, after a while, if somebody asks you that enough quest enough times, you'll feel like killing yourself. Whatever it takes you to stop asking me if I feel like killing myself. Honestly, this is the the
11:48 the the power of suggestion in many respects. And and and and every child is in therapy, and every child is getting, you know, counseling and and talking to some stranger, and I want my faith to be my
12:00 child's counselor. You know what? A synonym for the Holy Spirit is the counselor. He is the 1 who will counsel you.
12:12 God's word is counsel. It helps you. It empowers you. But I also thought about this. Christians, we have had the answer to bad emotions our whole lives, and it's been under our noses. It's the second greatest
12:24 commandment. The second greatest commandment is the fastest way out of depression and anxiety. You know what the second greatest commandment is? Love your neighbor.
12:35 Stop worrying about how you feel and start worrying about how somebody else feels. What a way to live. What what wow. What what brand new philosophy we could
12:47 introduce to the world if we not only believed it, but we exercise it. And every morning, we woke up in the morning and we said, I don't care how I feel, I'm going to worry about how other people feel today. I'm gonna
12:58 take care of somebody else's needs. I'm gonna meet somebody else's needs. I'm gonna pray for somebody else's life. I'm gonna help somebody else live for Christ. I'm gonna love my neighbor. Getting out of
13:10 yourself. By the way, what's the first greatest commandment? Love the Lord your God. Notice how both commandments are devoid of focusing on you. This is groundbreaking. This is this is a
13:21 scientific breakthrough, and it was in the word of God the whole stinking time. God never prescribes anything that's not good for you. When God tells you to love him, it's because you were made to love him. When God
13:32 tells you to love other people, because that's what he made you for. If you don't do what you were made for, you will be depressed because you're not living up to your fullest potential. And in this culture of self
13:42 esteem, how do I feel? We are depressing ourselves more and more because naturally, everybody feels a little off. All the time. All the
13:54 time, I feel off. That's how life is. What do I do? I get over it. I move on. I do things that I don't feel like doing that I will feel like doing it after I
14:06 started doing it. Yeah. So the the fountainhead of the self esteem movement was doctor Spock. Doctor Spock ruined parenting for 4 generations. The
14:18 the best selling nonfiction book of the twentieth century was Baby and Child Care by doctor Spock. Not not this Spock. You all know. This was a a former pediatric,
14:30 doctor, a pediatrician, and and he got out of the practice, and then he started philosophizing about children. And he undermined parental authority by saying that all kids were basically good. And so parents needed to
14:41 stop spanking. They needed to stop disciplining. They needed to start celebrating their children. They needed to start focusing on their children's feelings. They needed to make sure that their children their their
14:50 children felt like champions, felt really great about themselves. Because if you teach kids to feel good about themselves, they'll be good citizens and good adults. No. The Bible
15:02 says the exact opposite. Your child is not an angel. Your child is a viper in a diaper.
15:18 Your child needs correction. Yes. Your child was born in sin. Yes. The reason why they're cute is so that you don't kill them.
15:32 And they are meant to kill you. I said last week that marriage is supposed to kill you, and if that doesn't work, God gives you kids. What do I mean by kill you? I mean, to get out
15:44 of yourself, to stop thinking about yourself, to stop focusing on yourself. That's what I mean by kill you, not physically, although it does happen eventually. But but your child is is is there to challenge your ability
15:56 to to step up to your God given right to be a parent. Yes. To be a leader. The self esteem movement focuses on the parent following the feelings of an adolescent. That's how
16:08 you get the transgender movement. And thank God, finally, on Friday, the College of Pediatrics in this country finally stepped up, held a press
16:19 conference, and said we need to stop the puberty blockers and the transgender surgeries for minors. Finally. It's not
16:31 based in science. It's based in feelings. What do you have in the streets of America? The pro Palestine protesters, the queers for
16:42 Palestine, idiots who are focused on their feelings. And the schools and universities with their little puppy conventions for
16:54 the microaggressed students where they go into rooms and they hug puppies because they can't handle the fact that this country was settled at 1 point by people from Europe. They can't handle that. That triggers them so
17:05 they gotta go pet puppies for an hour. You know what I'm talking about? This is our culture right now. And and I'm just telling you. I'm just telling you that this country is ripe for invasion. Somebody's gonna do it. I
17:14 mean, really, we are not raising up people who are proud of their country. We're raising up people who are ashamed of their country. Because everything is based on how I feel about it instead of what's right and what's
17:21 wrong and what's historically accurate and what's historically true. And sometimes the truth is hard to hear, but we need to hear the truth of the history of our country, learn from it, do better, but not vilify
17:31 everybody that came before us. That's called chronological snobbery. We're not snobs because we learn from them. We are the result of them, and we can do better than them, but let's do better than for the sake of those
17:39 who are coming after us. Self esteem, how do I feel? What's going on in my heart? All of that stuff does not
17:51 matter. The Bible makes it very clear. We are sinners at birth. Romans 5 12 says, just as sin came into the world through 1 man, death through sin also came, and so death spread to who?
18:03 Men. All men. Your child, the moment he is born begins to die. Prepare them for death. Prepare them for death from the moment they're born. Because sin brings death. Death spreads to all
18:15 men. Your child is born a sinner. Your child is born a sinner. If you're not a Christian today, you're just reading Christian's mail, and I understand that
18:27 this does not apply to you, but it doesn't make it any less true. Every human being is born a sinner. And no matter what you wanna say is the problem, whatever societal structure is the problem, whatever
18:38 educational vacuum is the problem, whatever political solution that you are being promised in 20 24, I guarantee you, it would just create another kind of problem. Because the problem the
18:50 heart of the problem is the problem of the human heart. The Bible says in Psalm 58 verse 3, the wicked are estranged from the womb. Estranged from the womb. We
19:02 we we go astray from the womb. The Bible says in Ephesians 2 verse 3, we are all by nature children of wrath. Psalm 51 verse 5 g David said, in sin was I conceived and brought forth
19:14 in iniquity. I am a sinner by nature, and I need correction. Amen. So here's the good news about the Bible. Are you ready? Write this down. Scripture gives parents permission to be parents, and that's my job
19:26 today. You don't follow them, you gotta lead them. You're not their fan. Hello? You're not their
19:37 fan. Charlie. Susie. Raffiella. K. That that's
19:49 fine when they're on the stage for 45 minutes. When you get them home, discipline, correct, hold back, restrain, control
20:02 in many respects, you're not their fan. The head coach of the Yukon men's husky national basketball champions, back to back
20:14 national champions. His name Dan Hurley. The Celtics are in the finals, so the Lakers are jealous, and they're trying to hire a winning coach. They're gonna try to hire this guy. I don't know if they already have,
20:26 but back to back national championships are a big deal in college basketball. An article came out a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't wait to share this with you. The secret of Dan Hurley's coaching
20:37 success. You know what he said? I don't look at the player on the coat court. I look at the parents in the stands. He said, if they're fans of their child, I know they cannot be corrected.
20:50 I know they cannot be coached because they've only been celebrated their entire life. I look for parents who are strong authoritative disciplinarians. And if I find children of those parents, even
21:02 if their talent isn't as great, I know their potential is far greater because I can mold them and shape them to become champions. Parents, if you want your kids to become champions, don't be their fans, be their
21:14 disciplinarians. The bible says in Deuteronomy Deuteronomy 5 16, honor your what?
21:26 Father. Father. In God's top 10. Oh, I love it. In God's top 10. These are the top 10 guys. These are the big ones, and not a single commandment is thou shalt be nice.
21:40 Thou shalt gain the love and affection of your children. Thou shalt make sure you pave the way for them. No. Honor your father and mother
21:52 as the Lord your God commanded, that it may go well with you that you may live long in the land, that you might become, as Dan Hurley says, champions. Now the bible the 10 commandments are divided into 2
22:05 axes. I don't know if you know this. There is the vertical axes, what we do in a relationship to God. So the first 4 are, no gods before me, no idols, no taking my name in
22:16 vain, and honor the Sabbath. Those would be the vertical commandments. The horizontal commandments are the last 5. Do not, steal, do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not lie, do not covet.
22:28 And so you have the horizontal commandments of how we relate to each other. And right in the right in the middle, right the act the center of the axis, the relationship between God that leads to how we treat others
22:40 is in the home. How we treat how we teach our children to relate to parental authority will shape our gen our society as a whole. Think about this
22:52 parents. You are the bridge between a healthy relationship to our fellow man. That's how it works in God's economy. This commandment is not
23:04 obliterated in the New Testament. It's actually it's actually, vindicated in the New Testament. Ephesians chapter 6 verse 1 says, children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is what?
23:16 Right. Right. As it says in the scriptures, honor your father and mother. The first commandment with the promise that I may go well with you, that you may live long in the land. So parenting is
23:28 hard. Amen? It's confusing. I still remember the day that we brought our oldest home, my precious Olivia, and she was in
23:40 the little basket. She was in a little, you know, whatever that thing is, the carrying thing. And we didn't know what to do. We put her on the kitchen counter, and we just sat there and looked at her. What do we do now?
23:53 And and it was hard. It was difficult. Here's why it's difficult. You can't treat a 22 year old the way you treat a 2 year old. You can't treat a 12 year old the way you treat a 14 year old. And there are so many
24:04 seasons to parenting, and I I these are my credentials just so you know. I I I've successfully, with my wife, raised at least 1 child all the way to adulthood. We dropped her off at her own apartment
24:16 2 weeks ago and said, don't come back. I got 2 more to go by God's grace. So this is the reality
24:28 of parenting. It happens in stages. So I've got the 5 stages of parenting for you. Number 1, write this down, dedication. Now what I mean by this is you dedicate them to the Lord. The
24:40 first thing that you do is you give that child to God. We have a ceremony up in the stage and on our other locations, we call it child dedication. If you haven't done this yet, I would highly
24:52 suggest that you do it. It is biblical. The Bible says, Hannah prayed desperately for a child. She was barren. God gave her a child. When she gets the child in first Samuel chapter 1 verse 27, it says
25:04 this. She says, for this child I prayed and the Lord has granted me my petition that I gave made to him. Therefore, have lent him to the Lord. Look at these next words, as long as he lives. Say those
25:16 words with me. As long as he or she lives, he is lent to the Lord, and he worshiped the Lord there. She left him in the hands of God. Mary and Joseph
25:28 also do this with Jesus. They bring him to the temple. They offer the sacrifice as was required by the law, and they give the child to the Lord. This is not just a cute ceremony for you
25:40 to post on Facebook. This is an important act in the in front of other Christians, brothers and sisters in Christ to say to them and to you and to your child, you belong to
25:51 Christ in the presence of all of these people who belong to our church and worship Christ. Amen. This is a very powerful moment. And and it and it kind of like substantiates
26:03 your authority as a parent. We love to do it by the way. We encourage you to do it. You can go to waters church dot org and set up a schedule to make sure that happens. Psalm 1 27 verse 3, behold, we just read this,
26:14 children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of womb, I reward. The word for heritage is in in in Hebrew. It's another trans it's another word for inheritance. Now if you
26:26 get an inheritance, it's because what? Your parents left it for you, which means this about that. It wasn't yours. Mhmm. Right. It was theirs. Listen to me
26:37 parents. Your children are not yours. They're God's. Slant. They're not yours. They're God's. So I need to raise this child as God wants this
26:49 child raised. First thing first, tell them that. Tell them that. So I I said this at first sermon, I'll say it again. Okay. Parents, I got
27:01 an assignment for you today at all locations. Go home, get your kids in the living room, stand there together, have the Bible open to Psalm 1 27,
27:13 and then tell your kids together, if you're together as mom and dad, you belong to God. End of ceremony. Not a long
27:25 assignment. I'm not a fan of homework, but that's it. You got you you you have to set the terms of the agreement here. This is why we are alive. This is what God has called us to
27:37 do, to raise you as God wants you raised because you're not mine, you're his. Stage number 2 though, comes up quickly, is discipline. And I think it
27:48 happens around 9 months. As soon as they start walking. So dedication is a beautiful cute stage. I almost called it the doting dedication stage because you can dote over them for 9 months.
28:00 And then they show you what they are. They start walking, and you have to curb where they walk. Mhmm. You have to put all the locks on your cabinets and all that. You know? You gotta do all those things. You gotta get
28:12 the gates up. You know what I'm talking about? Oh, those those days were nightmares. I I wouldn't go to entire sections of my house during those days because I was too tired to lift the gate up. Amen to somebody. So
28:24 you've gotta learn that those initial stages of discipline where you're where you're saying to the child, we don't go in that cabinet. We don't we don't eat the food that's been on the floor.
28:36 We we don't put our hand on the stove. Right? Okay. That's the training ground for the next 18 years of your life. Because
28:47 the temptations are just different, but they are the same calling. Discipline that child. So here's what it says in in Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4. Fathers,
28:59 do not what? Provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Okay. There's a parallel structure to this text. Do not
29:11 cause your children to get angry. How do I not cause my child to get angry? By disciplining and instructing. Got it? In other words, if there's no this is gonna touch somebody the wrong way, but I
29:23 get it. If there's no fatherly discipline and instruction, there's angry children. Fathers, step up your game.
29:35 God's looking at you. It doesn't say mothers, does it? It says fathers intentionally. Because fathers, you are the head of the home. The husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head
29:47 of the church. Okay? This is not this is not, politically correct speech. This is not Americanism. I get it. I get it. This is biblical truth. That's true. But if you're gonna be in charge, you've gotta
29:59 take responsibility. Authority is not power. Authority is responsibility. Authority is not domination. Authority is
30:10 observation and relegation and investigation so that people are moving in the right manner. So fathers, you've got to start it. Back in the
30:21 seventies, in Kruger's National Game Park in South Africa, there was a problem with an overpopulation of elephants. Too many elephants. So they decided to move some to a different game park in South
30:33 Africa. But it's hard to move elephants. The way they came up with a way to move them was they would strap these huge straps to helicopters, and then they would pick up the the elephant with the helicopter and transport
30:43 it to the game park. Well, the straps wouldn't hold the bull elephants because they were too heavy. So they only moved the the baby elephants and the mama elephants to this new game park. About 6 months later, they came
30:54 back to the game park. They found out that those young elephants who were raised without a father had become angry and wild. They were killing rhinoceroses. They were killing, all the other kind of game in the game
31:06 park, and they were unruly and undisciplined. And they realized separation of the child from the father caused all of that anger. So too in the human condition. The prison system of our country is filled with
31:18 child with fatherless children. Drug addicts are typically fatherless children or absent fathers. You can be a father in the home and still be an absent father.
31:29 And your child will go wild. They need you, dads, to care. They need to know that you're hands on. They need to know that you are
31:40 disciplining. If you don't discipline, your child will get angry. I would rather them be angry that I disciplined them than angry with the world because I didn't discipline them.
31:53 This is illustrated in the life of David. David is a mighty man of God, but he never disciplines his children. It's amazing this man could could take down giants, but could not
32:05 discipline his kids. And I've seen many Christian fathers. They can kill giants in business. They can kill giants in industry. They can kill giants in education, but they can't kill the giant of sin in
32:17 their kids. Come on, Joe. You've got to take on both. You've gotta be a dual threat guy. Taking on the giants of life and taking on the giants of sin in your home. Correcting your
32:28 child, taking the lead, supporting your wife when she disciplines the children. And parents, you've got to come together on discipline. My wife and I have disagreed about everything in life except disciplining
32:40 our kids. That's the 1 and I thank God for that. And usually, the 1 who has been hardest on the kids is supported by the other 1. Whether it's her or me. And this has actually
32:52 been found by Gallup. Gallup has done a study of the most mentally healthy children in our generation, and they found out that the children with the best mental health results in our society right now are the children
33:03 with the most authoritative parents. Politically speaking, the children with the most conservative leaning parents. Because conservatives tend to be very authoritative. They believe that authority is good. By the way,
33:15 God believes authority is good. Do you know why? Because God is a God of authority. He establishes authority in the church, in the government, in the home. He never apologizes for being in charge. You ever noticed that?
33:26 There's not a single verse where God says, I'm sorry I have to tell you this. He just tells us this. He's an authoritative God. He's in charge. He's in control, and he has no problem with that. Fathers, you are in
33:38 charge. You are in control. Stop apologizing. Step up your game and be leaders in your home. Discipline your children. If you are a single mom,
33:50 we have help for you. Waters church dot org slash help. We will get help for you. But we understand that as a very challenging scenario. But if you are a father in the home, my word, step up. Proverbs 13
34:01 24, whoever spares the rod hates his son. Notice the pronoun, his, not hers, his son. Fathers, discipline your children. But he who loves him is diligent, underline diligent
34:13 because you're gonna have to do it again and again again and again and again and and again again again again and again. And when it stops, I'll tell you. But it hasn't stopped for my life. You have to discipline,
34:23 discipline, discipline, discipline, discipline. And you have to tell them why you're disciplining them. And you can't discipline them in anger, although that will happen on occasion. As best as you can, you have to
34:32 rationally and calmly discipline your child. Proverbs 22 verse 15 says, folly is bound up in the heart of a child. Truer words from the Bible I have not found.
34:44 Your kids are fools. Your child is a fool. So telling your child to follow their heart is 1 of the stupidest things you could ever say. It's 1 of the stupidest statements you can
34:56 make. How do you feel? Who cares? What do you feel is right? Who cares? Fathers are notorious for saying, they're fine.
35:09 And moms are like, they're not fine. Their little souls are wounded. No. They're fine. God balances you guys out. Because moms, you're highly relational, emotional, and you're connected that way, and fathers, you're
35:21 kinda just logical and, you know, all that kind of stuff. And so that you balance each other out here. And mom should be good cop, and dad should be bad cop. Mom comes in and says, hey. Come on. Let's negotiate. You
35:31 don't wanna go to jail. Come on. Let's do this. You know? Come on. Just confess. We'll make it right. And dad comes in there and puts them on the ground and says, come on. Come on. Know what I'm saying? Maybe not on the
35:40 ground, but you get the idea. Good cop, bad cop. So so what what what what my my great my famous line growing when when the kids were young was they're fine. They're fine.
35:52 Everybody say it with me. They're fine. They're fine. Yeah. Or here's another 1. They'll live. They'll live. Yeah. They'll live. Oh my goodness. They will. They can they can
36:04 manage. This will not kill them. This will not destroy their spirit. The Bible says in Proverbs 23 13, do not withhold discipline from a child. If you strike him with a rod,
36:16 corporal punishment. If you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with a rod, you will save his soul from hell. I'd rather my child cry in my possession
36:28 than in the devil's possession. Come on now. Not that the devil is in possession of anybody in hell. He's going to hell. But I want to have that authority over my child's life. And, yes, this is nothing to be
36:40 ashamed of, and anybody who tells you differently is not reading the scriptures. Now, yes, there are some people that don't discipline, they abuse.
36:51 And we wanna make sure that that's not happening in our church at all. If there's a sniff of that, we we have to we have to check that out and get that worked out. I mean, watershed dot org slash help. I'm seriously,
37:01 that's not a joke. But I think that there should be the word rod of discipline is important there because rod was a measuring stick for how many sheep you would trade between another shepherd. So you have to have a
37:13 measurement of discipline. Come on now. Amen. Not everything deserves a spank. Not everything deserves 3 weeks and, you know, time out or whatever it is or, you know, in your room with no phone. I mean, you have to do
37:25 this strategically, a measurement of discipline. Proverbs 19 18 says, discipline your son for there is hope. Do not set your heart on putting him to
37:37 death. I like that verse. You don't wanna kill them, but you wanna correct them and direct them in the way that they should go.
37:50 Stage number 3 is direction. So you move out of discipline or there is a combination of discipline and direction at the same time for many, many years, And you have to provide direction for where your kids should go.
38:01 Direction is different than discipline. Okay. Discipline is telling your child where not to go. Direction is telling them where to go. Got it? It's 2 sides of the same coin. We don't do that. We
38:13 do this. Ephesians chapter 6 verse 4, bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Now this word instruction is very important. The word is in Greek. It means to correct
38:25 behavior and belief. To correct behavior and belief.Show more
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