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Eliminating Private Darkness 0:00 Okay. Open to page 13 of your workbook. Let's review while you're getting there. In the last sessions, we talked about how great convictions provide0:12 great power. And in this section, we're gonna talk about how to keep that power, the power of those convictions flowing. At the top of page 13, on the top0:24 right, is our key verse for this section. Let's read it together. Make sure that the light you think you have is not actually darkness. If you are filled with0:36 light with no dark corners, then your whole life will be radiant as though a floodlight were filling you with light. Painting?0:48 Light and dark. And we are supposed to agent light. But what Jesus is talking about is that there is a possibility that your power, your light, your conviction1:07 passage, right on your note. Okay? He's talking to his god. Now Jesus walked with his men for 3 years,1:29 light, even as he is filling us right now. But Jesus had to fire a shot across the bow and warn that1:40 that great light that they thought they have, it can be short circuited. How many of you have ever been in a power outage? Okay? That is the picture of what's going on here. And the culprit for a1:52 spiritual power outage is this next phrase. If you are filled with light with no what? Dark corners. Circle. No dark corners.2:04 Now we're gonna do the math of Jesus and spiritual power. He says, if you are filled with light with no dark corners, circle the word, then. Then.2:17 Your whole life will be radiant as though a floodlight were filling you with light. That is a picture of power. That is a picture of purity.2:29 That's a picture of God's presence, but he's saying watch out for that culprit. Now I know that this will be shocking to many of you that there can be2:41 men who are saying the right things, projecting the right image, while at the same time providing space in their lives2:53 for a private darkness. How many of you have ever seen that or experienced that yourself? Yeah. That's that's the thing, is that men are like icebergs. They only show the tip.3:05 What's really going on below the water lines of their life is kept private, and that's the area Jesus isn't speaking to the tip. He's speaking to what's below the water line. And he's talking to men. He's going, you know3:17 what? This whole image thing, this whole religious spirit, you know, that you have, you know, the the activity, the bible, the groups, the church, the praise the lords, the amens, maybe cultural religion.3:30 That's not the guy that I'm interested in. I'm interested in the below the waterline guy. More specifically, I'm interested if there's a saboteur, if there's a mole, if there's a a3:42 counterintelligence agent in your life that is manifesting itself in the form of a private darkness. So the reason why we're gonna talk about3:54 private darkness and the reason why we're gonna talk about power in this session is Jesus is saying that in order for you to feel the power of the light4:06 and the power of great convictions, you can't have private darkness. It's not up on the outline. It's not on the screen. But he talks about this. Lord just gave me this verse4:18 in Matthew chapter 23. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. There we go. Matthew 23. Listen to this. These are guys filled with light. They're filled with God's word. They're filled with great convictions.4:30 They're representing God. Listen to what he says to them. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites. You clean the outside of the4:42 cup and dish, but inside, they are full of greed and self indulgent. Blind Pharisee 1st clean the inside of the cup and4:54 dish, and then the outside will also be clean. Do you see the picture? Inside, private darkness. Outside, religious.5:06 And Jesus is calling religion on the carpet. And he's saying, if you're acting and you're projecting this image in my name and you're harboring5:18 private darkness, there is no power in your life. And he just didn't say this to the Pharisees. He said it to his nearest, closest friends. Doesn't that give us a clue as to5:30 what men's ministry should be all about? When we're with our bros, when we're with our friends, we should be really guarding against private darkness. We should be so transparent and so authentic and so safe and so5:42 free to talk about the things that hinder our relationships with God and people because we want the power. Say, we want the power. Yeah. If you want the power in your life, you gotta you can't have dark corners. And the5:53 way you you where you go with those dark corners, those struggles, that private sin, that thing in your life is you go to God and you go to people. Say, go to God. Go to people. Go to people. Now we're not gonna go to6:04 women because we talk about some of these things in a mixed context. We're gonna start losing body parts. Not gonna talk in my couple small group about certain6:16 things. K? Because there's, a, there's no empathy on the other side. Okay? Because they're not men. Men become men in the company of men. Let's say that together.6:27 Men become men in the company of men. Study sociology. It's true in every part of the globe. You learn to become a man in the presence of other men. You learn to become God's man6:39 in the presence of other God's men, which is why we're saying get in a group. Join the men's hub. Have your ear to the ground on what Tyler is doing6:51 throughout all the campuses. Reproduce a strong, authentic men's culture. So how do you clean up your character like Jesus was talking about so youThe Case for Aggressive Confession 7:03 can activate those strong convictions? How do you make sure that there's no dark corners? Say this with me. To be clean To be clean. I have to come clean. I have to7:15 come clean. Okay. Turn the page, and we're gonna get into that. And just like we did in the other session when we were talking about it's time for aggressive convictions, it's now time for aggressive confession.7:29 Confession is the only way provided by God for you to clean yourself out from the inside out. Remember what Jesus said to the Pharisees. You're clean on the outside of the cup, but on the inside7:41 of the cup, you're full of greed and self indulgence. Character so that it becomes a good, clean, powerful transformer of these strong convictions7:53 in life? You see, you have raw energy, and then you have transformers, which then channel that energy into power. And you have the raw energy of those strong convictions,8:05 passionate. You have a lot of desire. But in order to to use those convictions, you need the transformer of a clean character to take that passion and process that passion and then to put8:17 it out into a powerful life. So it's time for aggressive confession. So let's make the case just like we did for it's time for aggressive, convictions. Write this down. It's time for aggressive confession8:29 because number 1, I am only as sick as my secrets. Now look up here after you write that down. I'm only as sick as my secrets. Let me tell you how this works.8:42 When you're keeping a secret, it sickens your character. Wanna know how I know? Does the problem get better or worse as the secret is kept? Gets worse.8:53 So as it gets worse, it gets worse in you. It doesn't get worse outside of you. It gets worse in you. So when I'm keeping a secret, it sickens my character. Okay? And a sick9:05 character leads to sick conduct and sin because conduct is an expression of character. So if my character is getting sick, that9:17 leads to sick conduct and sin, and sick conduct and sin break apart my relationships with God and with people. And my relationships with God and with people? And it all goes back9:31 to the secret. So if the end game is to break apart your relationships with God and people, who loves you keeping secrets.9:43 Satan. And that's why when it comes to your secret, that private darkness that is cutting off God's power in your life, he'll say, you can't talk about that. Do you talk9:55 about that? That just might blow up your image, you know? You can't talk about that because then men will think you're weak. You're you can't handle it on your own. You can't be resourceful enough to handle it on your10:05 own. So he's very invested in keeping you in bondage, holding on to that secret. And what does he know? The longer you hold on to that secret, the sicker your character10:17 gets, and he wants that to build up in your life. So when the conduct finally comes out, it's so explosive that it ruins you, it ruins your family, it ruins your relationships, it ruins your reputation, almost to the10:28 point where you're just picking up your life in 1000000 little pieces. That is not God's plan, but it definitely is Satan's plan. I'm only as sick as my secrets. The 2nd reason why it's time for aggressive10:40 confession is others can learn from my mistakes. Can I get an amen? Amen. I mean, there's that old saying, misery loves. You know what?10:53 1 of the the greatest moments you'll have in your life when you're with another guy, outside of doing crazy stuff like that, which is great when you do it together with other dudes. But it's when11:05 a guy shares something about his life, and it's happening in your life too. And then you go, what? You too?11:18 And you realize that you're not alone. And you go, man, okay. I'm not a freak. I'm not walking around with this alone. There's lots of guys that are going through this. And I'm so I'm11:29 so encouraged that I'm not the only 1. So others can learn from my mistakes. Do you know that your mistake could be the deliverance11:41 necessary for another man to start fixing his? But if you're too afraid to talk about it, if you wanna continue to be synthetic11:53 versus authentic, then you're withholding that deliverance. Do you realize the power your mistakes have in another life? Wow. That's God. Only12:05 God could take what is painful and embarrassing and humiliating and shameful and flip it on its head and turn it into a powerful ministry of comfort, encouragement, and solutions for another12:17 dude. Yeah. Just telling my man, Joseph, who got out of prison. I said, Joseph, I see you 1 day going back into your mistake. Because no 112:29 understands the feelings behind decisions that lead to prison than a man who's actually been in prison. And there are prisons with bars, and there are other12:41 prisons of emotions, and other prisons of behaviors, and other bondages that you have been in that have locked you down. But by the grace and power of Jesus Christ, you've been delivered from12:52 that. And now he says, I wanna take your crucifixion and I want a resurrection, my man. And you're gonna you're gonna go out and you're gonna be a agent of light. We don't have time to13:04 dabble around acting. The bible says in Romans 13 12, the night is almost gone and the day is at hand. Let us therefore lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Isn't that what Jesus is talking13:16 about? No dark corners. Say no dark corners. No dark corners. That's right. And you know what's great is that the dark corners that we don't want anybody to know about, God says, I want people to know about because guess13:27 what? Then I'm gonna get the credit for delivering you from that dark corner as you talk to me and talk to other people, and then I wanna transform it, and you're gonna go have a powerful ministry in that area. I would13:38 not be standing here if I wouldn't talk about the dark corner of lust porn and sexual fantasy. I worked in the liquor store my whole high school, existence, I fed on pornography. I had a13:50 big issue with it. But when I was not 17 and 27 and married and had kids, that's boy stuff. And it was impacting my life, and I didn't want it there anymore. So I didn't want any dark corners. So I had to get14:02 honest with God. And then here was the scary part. I had to fight that helicopter in my belly to say something to my men's group and said, you know what? I'm dealing with this, and it's bugging14:13 me. And I don't want it in my life anymore. So the men in my group heard the truth. And as they heard the truth, I began to get free. Because now it's in the open. I know a lot of14:25 guys who just go, you know what? I don't talk about it soon until I got victory over it. That's stupid. That's saying, I wanna sign up to be in bondage longer.14:37 Because then you can't get help If you don't tell someone, you need help. Okay? So others can learn from my mistakes. Number 3, others are comforted by my story. I think that's14:49 very evident. 4th reason why we need to practice aggressive confession. This is a biggie. And15:02 they get the glory And they get the glory.15:14 If you're projecting to the world that you don't have any weaknesses or have any struggles, then that gives you the glory. Good for you. Glad you're strong in yourself. Glad you're15:26 so self contained and self sufficient. You know? It's almost like, well, you know, God, he's an accessory. But man, when you become authentic and you15:38 get in the open, and you go, you know what? He's the reason. I'm where I'm at today. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud admire, like the15:50 psalmist says in Psalm 40, and set my feet on a rock. It's a picture of traction, and he gave me a firm place to stand. And he put a new song in my heart, a hymn of praise to our God, and many will16:01 see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. That's David going, you know what? He did it. He rescued me. I was a slime ball. I was in the slimy pit, and he came down. He was the he was the coast guard. He was16:13 the rescue helicopter. He picked me out of the slimy pit. I couldn't get out of the slimy pit even if I had 4 low in my pickup. And then he set my feet upon a rock, and now I have traction. I go16:25 from the slimy pit to a firm rock, which then gives me a little traction as a man. I was rescued. That's an authentic man. David's an authentic man. Apostle Paul is an16:37 authentic man. Psalm 51 shows an authentic man. Then the next reason is disclosure provides for deliverance.16:51 Struggling, whatever secret that you're keeping, whatever behavior you want to lose, you will not be free from that behavior until you tell God and tell another person.17:03 And that is the that is a universal law established by God. Disclosure provides for deliverance. That's why in our Celebrate Recovery Ministry, step 1 is that17:15 I admitted I was powerless and my life had become unmanageable. Why is Alcoholics Anonymous the most successful treatment modality for the17:27 bondage of alcoholism the world has ever seen? The 1st step is all about disclosing the problem. I admitted17:40 I was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable.17:55 Problem? When the problem controls you, when the problem controls your wallet, when the problem controls your thinking, when you can't stop thinking about that thing. I'm powerless over that problem. And that it's18:07 making my life unmanaged. Starting to ruin your relationships. So disclosure provides for deliverance. And to be free from anything, you have to acknowledge the18:18 reality of that. You know, that's called biblically. Say this with me. Walking in the light. That's what the bible says. If we walk in the18:30 light as he is in the light let's go back to the words of Jesus. It's all about light and darkness, isn't it? It's about exposure and living in the open or acting and living in the open, but hiding18:42 all of this other stuff and having private darknesses. Now here's the last reason why you need to practice aggressive confession. Not only does disclosure provide for deliverance, disclosure produces spiritual power.18:55 I have never felt God's power more in my life than when I worked through the feelings inside and the war for truth and19:06 honesty in my life and and told God and I told a group of men what was actually going on in my life that no 1 else knew about. Why did the19:18 power come then? Because disclosure and biblical confession require 2 things, humility and faith. The19:30 2 things God invades and infuses and invigorates with his presence and power. That's why you need to come clean. So what's the19:42 masculine battle? Now I need to go for from the case for confession. I'm just laying it out for you. To battle inside of us? And see if you can identify maybe some19:53 of your battle. Write this down. Men have trouble, number 1, owning the weaker parts of themselves. We have trouble owning We got to be strong all the time. We got to be strong in every area. It can't have anyMasculine Battles Against Honesty 20:05 weaknesses. Remember what I said about synthetic leadership? The weakness of the synthetic leader is that he doesn't have any. Everybody's got a weakness. But because of20:17 broken male culture and the iceberg mentality when it comes to problems, hide them and project an image, we have trouble just being honest. Now, the price come for20:29 saints or sinners. Amen. No problems there. The Bible says the righteous man falls 7 times. That's a lot. In biblical20:41 terms. It means he he falls all the time, but rises again. See, that's the difference. Number 2, we have trouble facing the people we hurt. Now why do we have20:52 trouble facing the people we hurt? And we're not always21:05 ready for that kind of change. Number 3, we have trouble feeling out of control. I don't know about you, but sometimes when life is getting out of control for me, I look21:17 at all the other people around me, and I just go, man, he has his act together. He's got his act together. He doesn't have my problems. He has his act together. And Satan lies into you and says, you know what? Everybody21:28 else has their act together except for you. That's right.21:43 Number 4, we have trouble asking for help. Thank God for Google Maps. Just saved us from embarrassment.21:56 Thank God for the iPhone. Number 5, we have trouble dealing with shame.22:36 Coming home. And when someone raises any issue about you, which you know here and through God's spirit is true, instead of taking responsibility and doing22:47 what a man does and going you know what? You're right. I don't know what to do about that, but I'm gonna work on it. Instead, we go, what about22:59 you? And you do this. You do that. You do this. And then we just go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And we guess what? Then we make we make our lives into things where23:08 no 1 can speak truth to us. And do we get better or worse? Worse, because no 1 can speak truth into your life. So we have trouble dealing with shame. Next, we have trouble23:20 believing anything good can come from it. That's a lie from Satan, by the way. Seen it over and over and over again. In my life and a lot of your lives, God, taking23:33 the the honesty with which you share your life with other people, using that in someone else's life, using it to comfort another person, using it to help another person, using it to create,23:45 teamwork and and to defeat sin in a man's life. We have trouble believing anything can good from it. Hey, guys. Look up here. If ever you hear that, just remember the cross. Just remember23:57 the cross. Look at him. King of the Jews. He saved everybody, but he can't save himself. They just24:09 didn't know that God was gonna bring the thunder. They just didn't know that that was the plan. They didn't know what was gonna happen on Friday, that Sunday was a coming.24:21 Amen? So anytime you think that anything is unredeemable, just remember the cross and know that if God can redeem the greatest injustice ever to happen in human24:33 history, he can redeem anything on the continuum of your mistakes. Amen? He can use it. Hallelujah. Alright. Yes. The24:44 last the last kind of thing we have trouble with is just accepting responsibility, for change. That's a biggie. Okay. So there's the case. There's the battle. Just wanna get all the24:56 issues on the table. Now what are the results of staying unconfessed, keeping those private darknesses, those dark corners? If you're God's man, the 1st result of not practicingConsequences and God's Redemption 25:08 aggressive confession. 1 is stagnation. Stagnation, Proverbs 28, 13, says, he who conceals his transgression will25:20 not prosper. Did you hear me? Man, that's that's the magic sauce. I'm gonna say it again. He who conceals his transgression will25:31 not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes it finds compassion. 1 of the best things about men's ministry I see is25:43 guys experiencing for the 1st time compassion from another man, Where they're so used to competition versus compassion. So used to competition25:55 versus connection. Because in the world, the world tells us we're competing for limited resources. Right, men? We're competing competing for limited resources. We're we're competing for limited women. We're we're26:06 competing for limited opportunities. We're competing for whatever. And when I see a guy have the courage to follow God's will and in humility and faith, tell another group of men or tell 1 other man,26:18 hey, this is what's going on. And then they get compassion versus judgment back, that right there is a liberating thing in the life of a man. So stagnation,26:30 you will not prosper. 2nd result of not practicing aggressive confession is self deception. So you have stagnation. Then as you keep the secret, you26:42 have to present an image. And as you present an image while you're holding on to a secret in a dark corner, it's called living a double. That's right. And the bible says in 1st John 1 8, if we say we26:54 have no sin In other words, you're you're you're keeping that dark corner alive. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in27:05 us. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. So if Jesus is the truth and we are practicing self deception by keeping a private27:17 secret, then can the truth relate to self deception? No. Truth can't relate to self deception. So that's a power, a power grabber. Right there, you27:29 just cut off your power from Christ. So stagnation, self deception, and then disconnection. Write that down. I read you from Matthew 23.27:42 When the inside is still dirty, it doesn't matter what the outside is doing. That's what Jesus was saying to the Pharisees.28:03 Below. But but you've heard it said, don't commit it. But I say to you, if you look on a woman with lust in your heart, you've already committed adultery. He speaks to where we really live. He doesn't buy the outside28:15 act. He doesn't buy the image that everyone else is swallowing. He sees past. The last result of not practicing aggressive confession28:27 is dysfunction. 1st John chapter 1 verse 10 says, if we claim out to be a liar and his28:39 word has no place in our lives. You see, the Bible says we're sinners. But if we walk around like we're saints and we have absolutely no problems all the time, and we don't have any issues, and we never struggle, and we28:49 have no dark corners, we make him out to be a liar. Why die on a cross for perfect people? That's dysfunctional. It makes us look like a dysfunctional family. That's why the29:01 world is like, man, what's going on with those Christians? Praise the Lord. Hallelujah. And they're so heavenly minded. They're no earthly good and they have no problems. I cannot relate to that person because I have29:11 problems. That's why religion destroys a non Christian's potential of having a relationship with God.29:24 Because you set the bar so high and you create 1st and 2nd class Christians. 2nd class who aren't like you. And then the non believers looking at the29:36 1st and 2nd class, inter family dysfunctional warfare and going, I don't want any part of that. But you know what? With a little transparency and a little honesty and29:47 a little walking in the light, man, we can open so many back doors for people to have a relationship with God just by being a saved sinner. Let's say that together. A saved29:59 sinner. Aren't you glad you're a saved sinner? Amen. Jesus came for sinners, not for saints. So quit acting like you're already a saint. You will be a saint forever, and30:11 that's the way heaven looks at you. But on earth, go ahead and be a sinner. You'll be more powerful witness for Jesus. So stagnation, self deception, disconnection,30:23 dysfunction. Sign me up. No. Thanks. No. Thanks. So here's my point. Top of page 15. Write this down. Confession is not30:35 manly. It's godly. So the broken male culture out there, which you're not supposed to be a part of and participating in, because Jesus said if you were of the world, I30:47 would have told you so, but as it is, I've chosen you out of the world to live a different life. Confession is not manly in a in a cultural sense because it's godly. Godly men, god's30:58 men, strong men. Because they're secure in the love of God and the acceptance and approval from God, they know that he will never leave them or never forsake them,31:10 That nothing can separate them from the love of God. So then they are now free to be honest because their father is never gonna leave him. Never forsake them. It's very liberating.31:23 Now, the apostle Paul, we know from this passage in 2nd Corinthians and the passage in Romans 7. He was dealing with things. In 2nd Corinthians31:35 12, he said this. So I wouldn't get a big head. I was given the gift of a of a handicap. Circle that. I was given the gift of a handicap. Now, isn't that a little counterintuitive that a handicap31:47 would be a gift? Well, let's read on and see why the handicap from his perspective was a gift. To keep me in constant touch with my31:58 limitations. What's he saying? That handicap was a gift because it checked my pride and ego, which would destroy my relationship with32:10 God. Satan's Angel did his best to get me down. What he did, in fact, was push me to my knees. No danger of walking around high in my day. At 1st, I didn't think of it as a gift. Amen?32:24 Yeah. Lord. I I I just don't see this this, this lust issue in my life as a gift. I really don't. I don't see this anger issue as as a really gift, Lord. I I I don't see it as a gift. But32:41 At 1st, I didn't think of it as a gift and begged God to remove it 3 times. I did that and then he told me. Let's read it together. All you need. Keep reading. My32:53 strength comes into its own through your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating33:05 the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. I want you to circle, I was glad to let it happen. And then within33:17 that circle, circle the word it. I always wondered what it was. I was glad to let it happen. Well, I'm gonna clear it up for all of33:28 us. What was Paul Ladd glad to let it happen? It was God's acceptance of him as a man with a flaw conquering his33:40 fear of talking about his flaw. Did you hear me? It was God's acceptance of him as a man with33:52 a flaw that conquered his fear of talking about a flaw. That's why Paul could say, I'd much rather boast about my weaknesses that the power of Christ34:04 might dwell on me. And that's where he realized, wow, there's really power in this authenticity thing. There's really there's a lot of power in this transparency thing. The more I'm authentic and the more I'm transparent34:15 and the more I'm honest about what's really going on in my life, the more power and integrity I feel. So now I'm loving this confession thing and having a weakness and talking about it because then I feel God's power and34:27 I feel myself getting free. Getting free. We become God's man. Listen. We become God's man when God's grace34:38 and acceptance in our lives conquers our fear of what others might think when they know that we have a weakness. So write this down.34:51 In that sense, it's not about you. It's about God's plan. Now, Paul writes about in 2nd Corinthians35:02 chapter 1 verse 4, the next step of this. There's a personal realization, but then there's a practical aspect to practicing aggressive confession. Let's35:14 read 2nd Corinthians one:four. -Yeah. -And before you know it, he brings us alongside35:26 someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as hallelujah, hallelujah,35:38 hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. He takes us through hard times and meets us there. So then he brings us The35:50 whole purpose of you going through hard times and walking with God through hard times is so that you can come alongside some other people who are going through the same kind of hard times you are going through, and they36:00 get to experience the comfort and peace of God through your fellowship and through your faith in Jesus Christ. Saran Stacy. That's what he was doing. Did he go through hard times?36:11 Absolutely. Probably 1 of the hardest, most agonizing thing. But you know what? He didn't stop competing for the faith. The word compete in Greek is.36:24 It's the Greek root for where we get the English word, agony. And that's when the bible says compete. Compete. In 2nd36:36 Corinthians 9, that's what he's doing. He's competing. He's working through the agonisme, and he's walking with God. He's not gonna give up. He's gonna endure and persevere and not give up his faith and work it36:48 out and wrestle with God.Show more In this video 0:00 Eliminating Private Darkness7:00 The Case for Aggressive Confession20:00 Masculine Battles Against Honesty25:00 Consequences and God's Redemption37:00 Practicing Confession and Prayer
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