Skip to content A Father's Lament: David's Grief and Grace in 2 Samuel 18 Jun 10 · 11 min ...more
A Father's Lament: David's Grief and Grace in 2 Samuel 18
June 10, 2026 · 11 min
Meditation on David's tears, the cost of broken leadership, and how God's mercy meets human sorrow amid judgment.
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David's Lament and Battle Preparations 0:09 Good morning, and welcome to Stand on the Word as our journey today takes us to 2nd Samuel chapter 18 verse 33. Then the king was deeply moved and went out went up to the chamber over the gate and0:21 wept. And as he went, he said thus, oh, my son, Absalom, my son, my son, Absalom, if only I had died in your place, oh, Absalom, my son, my son. So today, we have another thought provoking0:33 episode in the life of David. Having fled Jerusalem, he sent out the word and men are now rallying to him. And we're on the verge of another civil war about to break out between those who were0:45 loyal to David and those who rallied to Absalom, his son. I'm I'll go ahead and spoiler alert here. I'll jump to the end of the story, and I'll give you the end of the story. Absalom dies hung by0:57 his pride. What does that mean? Well, stick with me, and I'll explain it just a moment. Verse 1, chapter 18. And David numbered the people who were with him and set captains of thousands, captains of hundreds over them.Civil War, Pride's Fall, and Joab's Defiance 1:08 Now this had to be encouraging for David. He was not alone. People were responding and his numbers were growing rapidly. Verse 2. Then David sent out 1 3rd of the people under the hand of Joab, 1 3rd under the hand1:20 of Abishai the son of Zuriah, Job's brother, and 1 3rd under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said to the people, I also will surely go out with you1:32 myself. He wasn't gonna stay back again. The last time he did that, there was a problem. But the people answered, you shall not go out. Remember, he's about 60, 61 years old at this point. For if we1:44 flee away, they will not care about us, nor if half of us die, will they care about us. But you are worth 10000 of us now, for you are now more help to us in this city. Then the king said to them, whatever1:56 seems best to you, I will do. So the king stood beside the gate, and all the people went out by hundreds and by thousands. So David, at this point, they had made their headquarters in Mahanaim,2:08 which is where, Ishbosheth had established his stronghold after the death of Saul. This was on the east side of the Jordan River.2:20 Verse 5. Now the king had commanded Joab Abishai Ittai saying, deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom. And all the people heard when2:32 the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom. All the people, all the soldiers heard it. So the people went out of the field of battle against Israel, and the battle was in the2:44 woods of Ephraim. This was a civil war. The nation was divided. Why? Because there were those driven by a lust for power and embraced2:55 lawlessness as a path to that power. Also, we can't separate this again from David's personal decision in his affair with Bathsheba. This is the you3:07 know, there's this notion. There's this notion. We hear this a lot in the political realm that, well, that was David's personal life. Look. Character is character. I mean, how do you3:19 I mean, how how how do you have personal character and then a public character? Right? I mean, wouldn't that be like split personalities? I think3:31 there's general a, a clinical diagnosis for that. We we there's gotta be consistency. You what you do in private, what leaders do in private affects what happens3:43 in public as the life of David makes abundantly clear. Verse 7. Then the people the people of Israel were overthrown there before the servants of David,3:55 and a great slaughter of 20000 took place there that day. For the battle there was scattered over the face of the whole countryside, and the woods devoured more people that day than the4:06 sword devoured, rough terrain. Then Absalom met the servants of David. Absalom rode on a mule. The mule went under a thick bow of great of a great terebinth tree, and4:18 his head caught in the terebinth so that he was left hanging between heaven and earth. And the mule which was under him went on. So Absalom4:30 was literally hung and figuratively by his pride. Now for context, let's go back to chapter 14 verse 25. 5. Now in all Israel, there was no 1 who pray who was4:42 praised as much as Absalom for his good looks. From the sole of his head to the from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head, there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair4:54 of his head at the end of every year, he cut it because it was heavy on him. When he cut it, it he weighed the hair of his head, and it was 200 shekels according to the king's standard. So Absalom5:06 was known for his long hair. It was apparently his pride and joy. Well, it's interesting what happens next. Verse 10. Now a certain man saw it and told Joab and said, I just saw5:18 Absalom hanging in a terebinth tree. So Joab said to the man who told him, you just saw him? And why did you not strike him there to the ground? I would have given you 10 shekels of silver and a belt.5:30 Now this man is not identified by name, but he was either a a a man of, of integrity or a man who feared the king or both. Verse 12. But5:42 the man said to Joab, though I were to receive 1000 shekels of silver in my hand, I would not raise my hand against the king's son. For in our hearing, the king commanded you in Abishai in Ittai5:54 saying, beware lest anyone touch the young man Absalom. Joab then goes and kills Absalom despite the command of the king not to harm him.6:06 Now was Joab acting in the best entrance interest of the kingdom? He may have been, but we've seen before the character of Job is ruthless. David's instruction to6:17 them in verse 5. Let me read it again. Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom. And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom. This was6:29 probably the combination of a parent as as well as a penitent. He was he had repented. He was broken, and and he was, as I've talked about before, was eager to6:41 extend grace because grace had been extended to him. David probably saw the hand of God in this as a result of his previous actions. It's hard for him to point. I mean, he you know, in the new testament,6:53 we hear about look. Before you go and try to get the speck out of your brother's eye, pull the beam out of your own. I think David was operating in that room. He understood. He had a beam in his eye, and soDavid's Grief, Regret, and Scriptural Warning 7:05 he was very reluctant to blame others for the cascading effects that were coming upon him in the kingdom. News arrives of now7:17 of Absalom's death. Look at verse 32. And the king said to to the Cushite, is the young man Absalom safe? So the Cushite answered, may the enemies of my lord, the king, and all who rise against you to do7:34 1st thing that David asked about, and he gets word. Then the king was deeply moved. He went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said thus, oh, my son, Absalom, my son, my son, Absalom, if7:46 only I had died in your place, oh, Absalom, my son, my son. As we will see here, David grieved for some time for his son, which was different. It was different from how7:58 he responded to the death of his infant son with Bathsheba. Is it possible that David's grief was driven more by regret? It it would appear once again that8:10 while David was a decisive leader of of men on the battlefield, his leadership of his family at home was woefully lacking, which could explain Absalom's anger8:22 and and hatred in part toward David. In his very last letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote this in 2nd Timothy chapter 3 verse 16. All scripture is given by8:34 inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good8:46 work. Now our purpose here is not to be hyper hypercritical of David or any other figure that we encounter in scripture. Rather, it's to gain insight, understanding, and a sober warning about8:58 the natural tendencies of the human heart to drift away from god, even believers. Even as followers of Christ, the natural inclination of our fallen nature is to drift away from9:09 god. You know, David was a man after God's own heart, yet his failure to flee lost and faithfully govern his own household brought reproach upon the name of9:21 the Lord, and it unleashed death, division, and destruction within both his family and the nation as a whole. The lesson is not that God's purposes can be forwarded by human failure. God is9:33 going to accomplish what God is going to accomplish. His plans will be accomplished. But it's that those even those who walk closely with god are not exempt9:45 from the consequences of disobedience. Therefore, as scripture instructs us, let us take heed lest we fall, walking humbly before the lord and9:57 remaining vigilant in the areas where we are most vulnerable. Father, we thank you once again for your word, and, lord, we do want to be instructed. We're not reading this as just a10:09 historical document or even just a a theological document, although it's all of that. We, Lord, are looking for the Holy Spirit as the psalmist wrote10:21 that we would hide in our hearts that we might not sin against you, that it is life to us, that we might lord, as Jesus, our intercessor prayed, that father, I pray you10:33 not take them out of there, but you sanctify them. You keep them from the evil 1. You sanctify them by your word. Your word is truth. Lord, sanctify sanctify our nature, our fallen nature. Help us to be conformed to10:45 the image of Christ. That is our goal that we might reflect the glory and honor due, our savior, Jesus Christ, that we might bring honor to your name, father. We10:57 pray and ask all this in Jesus' name. Amen. Alright. Thanks for joining me this morning. And until next time, keep standing on the word.Prayer and Closing Challenge 11:06 Today's study comes from the Stand on the Word Bible Reading Plan available for free at f r c dot o r g slash bible. By following along in just a few minutes a day, you11:18 can read through the entire Bible in just 2 years. Learn more and request the free reading guide at frc dot org slash bible.In this video 0:00 David's Lament and Battle Preparations1:00 Civil War, Pride's Fall, and Joab's Defiance7:00 David's Grief, Regret, and Scriptural Warning11:00 Prayer and Closing Challenge
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