Skip to content A Father's Lament: David's Grief and Grace in 2 Samuel 18 Jun 10 · 11 min ...more
A Father's Lament: David's Grief and Grace in 2 Samuel 18
June 10, 2026 · 11 min
Meditation on David's tears, the cost of broken leadership, and how God's mercy meets human sorrow amid judgment.
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David Prepares for Battle and Pleads for Absalom's Safety 0:09 Good morning, and welcome to Stand on the Word as our journey today takes us to 2nd Samuel chapter 18 verse 33. Then the king was deeply moved and went out went up to the chamber over the gate and wept.0:21 And as he went, he said thus, oh, my son, Absalom, my son, my son, Absalom, if only I had died in your place, oh Absalom, my son, my son. So today, we have another thought provoking0:33 episode in the life of David. Having fled Jerusalem, he sent out the word, and men are now rallying to him. And we're on the verge of another civil war about to break out between those who were0:45 loyal to David and those who rallied to Absalom, his son. I'm I'll go ahead and spoiler alert here. I'll jump to the end of the story, and I'll give you the end of the story. Absalom dies hung by0:57 his pride. What does that mean? Well, stick with me, and I'll explain it in just a moment. Verse 1, chapter 18. And David numbered the people who were with him and set captains of thousands, captains of hundreds over1:07 them. Now this had to be encouraging for David. He was not alone. People were responding, and his numbers were growing rapidly. Verse 2. Then David sent out 1 3rd of the people under the hand of Joab, 1 3rd1:19 under the hand of Abishai, the son of Zuriah, Job's brother, and 1 3rd under the hand of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said to the people, I also will surely1:31 go out with you myself. He wasn't gonna stay back again. The last time he did that, there was a problem. But the people answered, you shall not go out. Remember, he's about 60, 61 years old at this1:43 top point. For if we flee away, they will not care about us, nor if half of us die will they care about us. But you are worth 10000 of us now, for you are now more help to us in this city. Then the king said to1:55 them, whatever seems best to you, I will do. So the king stood beside the gate, and all the people went out by hundreds and by thousands. So David, at this point, they had made their headquarters in2:06 Mahanaim, which is where Ishbal sheath had established his stronghold after the death of Saul. This was on the east side of the2:18 Jordan River. Verse 5. Now the king had commanded Joab Abishai Ittai saying, deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom.Absalom's Prideful Demise Despite King's Mercy 2:30 And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains orders concerning Absalom. All the people. All the soldiers heard it. So the people went out of the field of battle2:46 Ephraim. This was a civil war. The nation was divided. Why? Because there were those driven by a lust for power and embraced lawlessness as a2:57 path to that power. Also, we can't separate this again from David's personal decision in his affair with Bathsheba. This is the, you know, there's this notion. There's3:09 this notion. We hear this a lot in the political realm that, well, that was David's personal life. Look. Character is character. I mean, how do you I mean, how how3:22 do you have personal character and then a public character? Right? I mean, wouldn't that be like split personalities? I think there's general a a clinical3:34 diagnosis for that. We we there's gotta be consistency. You what you do in private, what leaders do in private affects what happens in public as the life of David3:46 makes abundantly clear. Verse 7. Then the people the people of Israel were overthrown there before the servants of David, and a great slaughter of 20000 took place3:58 there that day. For the battle there was scattered over the face of the whole countryside, and the woods devoured more people that day than the sword devoured, rough terrain. Then Absalom4:10 met the servants of David. Absalom rode on a mule. The mule went under a thick bow of great of a great terebinth tree and his head caught in the terebinth so that he4:21 was left hanging between heaven and earth, and the mule which was under him went on. So Absalom4:34 context, let's go back to chapter 14 verse 25. Now in all Israel, there was no 1 who pray who was praised as much as Absalom for his good looks.4:46 From the sole of his head to the from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head, there was no blemish in him. And when he cut the hair of his head at the end of every year, he cut it because it was heavy4:58 on him. When he cut it, it he weighed the hair of his head, and it was 200 shekels according to the king's standard. So Absalom was known for his long hair. It was apparently his5:10 pride and joy. Well, it's interesting what happens next. Verse 10. Now a certain man saw it and told Joab and said, I I just saw Absalom hanging in a terebin tree. So Joab said to the man who told5:22 him, you just saw him, and why did you not strike him there to the ground? I would have given you 10 shekels of silver and a belt. Now this man is not identified by name, but5:34 he was either a a a man of, of integrity or a man who feared the king or both. Verse 12. But the man said to Joab, though I were to receive 1000 shekels of5:46 silver in my hand, I would not raise my hand against the king's son. For in our hearing, the king commanded you in Abishai in Ittai saying, beware lest anyone touch the young man Absalom.5:59 Joab then goes and kills Absalom despite the command of the king not to harm him. Now was Joab acting in the best entrance interest of the kingdom?6:11 He may have been, but we've seen before the character of Job is ruthless. David's instruction to them in verse 5. Let me read again. Deal gently for my sake with the young man even with6:23 Absalom, and all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom. This was probably the combination of a parent as as well as a penitent.6:35 He was he had repented. He was broken, and and he was, as I've talked about before, was eager to extend grace because grace had been extended to him. David probably saw the hand of6:46 God in this as a result of his previous actions. It's hard for him to point. I mean, he you know, in the new testament, we hear about, look. Before you go and try to get the speck out of your brother's eye, pull the6:58 beam out out of your own. I think David was operating in that realm. He understood. He had a beam in his eye, and so he was very reluctant to blame others for the cascading7:10 effects that were coming upon him in the kingdom. News arrives of now of Absalom's death. Look at verse 32. And the king said to to the Cushite, is7:22 the young man Absalom safe? So the Cushite answered, may the enemies of my lord, the king, and all who rise against you to do harm be like that young man. SoDavid's Grief and Leadership Failures Exposed 7:34 this is the 1st thing that David asked about, and he gets word. Then the king was deeply moved. He went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And as he went, he said thus, oh, my son, Absalom, my son, my son,7:45 Absalom, if only I had died in your place, oh, Absalom, my son, my son. As we will see here, David grieved for some time for his son, which was different. It was7:57 different from how he responded to the death of his infant son with Bathsheba. Is it possible that David's grief was driven more by regret? It It would appear8:09 once again that while David was a decisive leader of of men on the battlefield, his leadership of his family at home was woefully lacking, which could explain Absalom's8:21 anger and and hatred in part toward David. In his very last letter to Timothy, the apostle Paul wrote this in 2nd Timothy chapter 3 verse 16. All8:33 scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every8:44 good work. Now our purpose here is not to be hyper hypercritical of David or any other figure that we encounter in scripture. Rather, it's to gain insight, understanding, and a8:56 sober warning about the natural tendencies of the human heart to drift away from God, even believers. Even as followers of Christ, the natural inclination of our fallen nature9:08 is to drift away from God. You know, David was a man after God's own heart, yet his failure to flee lost and faithfully govern his own household brought9:20 reproach upon the name of the Lord, and it unleashed death, division, and destruction within both his family and the nation as a whole. The lesson is not that God's purposes can be forwarded9:32 by human failure. God is going to accomplish what God is going to accomplish. His plans will be accomplished. But it's that those even those who walk closely with God are9:44 not exempt from the consequences of disobedience. Therefore, as scripture instructs us, let us take heed lest we fall, walking humbly9:56 before the Lord and remaining vigilant in the areas where we are most vulnerable. Father, we thank you once again for your word, and, Lord, we do want to be instructed. We're not10:07 reading this as just a historical document or even just a a theological document, although it's all of that. We, Lord, are looking for the Holy Spirit as10:19 the psalmist wrote that we would hide in our hearts that we might not sin against you, that it is life to us, that we might Lord, as Jesus, our intercessor prayed,10:31 that father, I pray that you not take them out of there, but you sanctify them you keep them from the evil 1. You sanctify them by your word. Your word is truth. Lord, sanctify. Sanctify our nature, our fallen10:43 nature. Help us to be conformed to the image of Christ. That is our goal, that we might reflect the glory and honor due, our savior, Jesus Christ, that we might10:54 bring honor to your name, father. If we pray and ask all this in Jesus' name, amen. Alright. Thanks for joining me this morning. And until next time, keep standing on the word.Scriptural Lessons: Heed Lest We Fall 11:06 Today's study comes from the stand on the word bible reading plan available for free at f r c dot o r g slash bible. By following along in just a few minutes a day, you11:18 can read through the entire Bible in just 2 years. Learn more and request the free reading guide at frc dot org slash bible.In this video 0:00 David Prepares for Battle and Pleads for Absalom's Safety2:30 Absalom's Prideful Demise Despite King's Mercy7:30 David's Grief and Leadership Failures Exposed11:06 Scriptural Lessons: Heed Lest We Fall12:06 Prayer and Bible Reading Plan Invitation
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