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Who You Associate With Determines Your Future - Pt2
September 25, 2026 · 34 min
We continue our discussion from the University of Nebraska Omaha about becoming someone who is willing to be teachable, coachable, & honest about where they need to grow. We discuss why constructive criticism shouldn't be viewed as judgment, how learning to make adjustments after life hits back can strengthen your convictions, & why some losses may actually be preparing you for greater wins ahead.
Series Representing Christ in a Fallen World
Matt and Anthony lead Gamechangers, which is a new generation of believers whose identity is firmly rooted in the revelation of who God is and who He has called
September 25, 2026 · 34 min · Representing Christ in a Fallen World
We continue our discussion from the University of Nebraska Omaha about becoming someone who is willing to be teachable, coachable, & honest about where they need to grow. We discuss why constructive criticism shouldn't be viewed as judgment, how learning to make adjustments after life hits back can strengthen your convictions, & why some losses may actually be preparing you for greater wins ahead. ...more Show the full description Show less We continue our discussion from the University of Nebraska Omaha about becoming someone who is willing to be teachable, coachable, & honest about where they need to grow. We discuss why constructive criticism shouldn't be viewed as judgment, how learning to make adjustments after life hits back can strengthen your convictions, & why some losses may actually be preparing you for greater wins ahead.
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In this video 0:00 Being Coachable and Choosing Your Associations9:03 Learning Through Losses and Making Adjustments18:30 The Need for Honest Conversations Over Social Media29:00 Loving Truth, Small Wins, and Looking Forward34:00 Surrendering Plans to God and Changing the Game
Being Coachable and Choosing Your Associations 0:29 Going to accelerate that much quicker because you're gonna be able to not necessarily avoid the road bumps or the speed bumps, but you're gonna be able to be, coached through those things. And that's another thing as0:40 well that I had to learn in college is being coachable. You've gotta you've gotta be coachable, and I think that's really hard in today's society because everybody thinks they know something. Like you said, like Matt0:51 said, everyone's an influencer. I'm like, so you're so you're unemployed? Like, you know, what are you doing? Like, what what what are you influencing? Are you influencing positivity? Are you influencing change?1:03 Are you influencing corruption? Because when you say that, you've gotta be more specific about what you're doing, why you're doing it. Because guess what?1:11 At1:11 the end of the day, the most powerful thing in the world is what you say. Your words travel. Even even right now as we talk, we're putting things out that are gonna that are gonna benefit not only us,1:23 but the people listening and watching. And I think for me, again, just to to finish out on college, you are the company you keep. Be very decisive about who you're around and just1:35 and make a stand and say, this is where I'm going, and I'm not gonna move until I get there.
1:40 That's really good. I wanna jump on that just as you finish that because I just thought about what you were saying. There's so much focus on getting a degree and what goes on in the classroom, but you just touched
1:52 on, okay, what happens outside of the classroom. And while you may be going to get head knowledge, how are you building your character? There's no classroom for
2:03 that. Yes. There's no, guidebook, that they're gonna give you on how to build yourself up to be a person that is of integrity, strong character,
2:15 a person that is going to be consistent. And, also, like you said, they're gonna do what you say. You're gonna do what you say at all times. And I wanna piggyback on what you said. Not only
2:27 do you watch the company that you keep and be decisive, but, also, don't just invest in the head knowledge. Invest in building your character
2:39 and understand what your motives are and your intentions and be honest with yourself and be well and that's part of being teachable and coachable is being willing to be self examined. Why are you
2:51 doing the things that you're doing? Why are you making the choices that you're making? And are you following through with what
2:57 you're promising to do?
2:57 That is going to matter. Like, you promising to do? That is going to matter. Like you said, 5, 10 years down the road, whether you're a business owner, entrepreneur, influencer, whatever,
3:10 a teacher, a pastor, an athlete, you have to be a person of strong character, high integrity, and you have to make sure that no matter what it is
3:22 that you're doing, there is a way that you have to do it that is right. And what I mean by right, not right according to societal standards, not right according to your own eyes, but right according to what
3:33 god says. And that is what is going to matter. And I know a lot of people don't wanna talk about this, but it's going to matter on judgment day.
3:44 Yeah. I mean, I really believe that sometimes in life, you're gonna have to go through some some losses to get some significant wins and gains. Sometimes you have to be humbled.
3:55 Sometimes you have to go through the and and losses can be defined so many different ways. Right? It could be, like, some didn't go your way. It could be a relationship ending. It could be that job
4:07 that didn't work out. Sometimes it's for your benefit because we have to remember that, like, like, god hears conversations that will never be like, he sits in rooms we'll never be in and hears other conversations.
4:19 Good.
4:20 You know? You you think about how many times we we we sit back and we're like, man, I wish I could be a fly on the wall in that room, and you can't. Well, do you know that god hears those conversations so then,
4:30 therefore, like, what maybe didn't work out was maybe his just protection. You know? And I think sometimes we have to understand that, like, the process
4:43 of losing can be a good thing. Because if we're just riding constantly on cloud 9, then, like, what's there to obtain? You know? That's good. If there's not a challenge, then
4:55 it's like, challenge means an
5:06 over emphasis of complacency. It creates complacency. So I still so I don't have If everything was so easy all the time, then it's like, what's there to chase? You
5:18 know? If we didn't get punched in the face, you know, like, truthfully I mean, Mike Tyson said that. Like, everyone's tough, and everyone has a plan until they've been punched in the face. You know? And
5:30 that's whether that's boxing and fighting or whether that's just life in general, bro, like Well, how do
5:37 you know you're getting better or making a difference then if everything's easy?
5:41 Okay.
5:41 You don't there's no difference that you can make in Yes. Where you've come or how far
5:45 you've gone. So it's funny you say that because I had a football coach that said, you know, everyone puts this emphasis on 2nd 0.5 adjustments, adjusting in the 1st
5:57 0.5. And we're gonna do it. But I'm gonna, like, make your mind go crazy. Wednesday. It's not just about the adjustments. Okay? It's about who adjusts to the adjustments made against you. The 3rd part. I'm team
6:13 in the face. They adjust to that. They counter it. They stop it. How do you come back with a counter adjustment? The sec yes. The 2nd adjustment. It's the adjustment to their
6:24 adjustment. Whether that's sports, whether that's life. How do you adjust to the adjustment? Whether that's spiritual, bro. When you make a punch at the devil and they come back at you, hell comes back at you.
6:36 Now what do you do in response now? Yeah. It's that 2nd time you've gotta restart again. That's good. Because your game plan's figured out now.
6:43 That's good. That's good.
6:45 So now what what's the next adjustment? And that's key because They've adjusted to you now. So now, therefore, I have a 2nd move I've gotta make. And people forget the 2nd move. They think the 1st scripted plays are just
6:56 gonna work. And it's like, if it's so easy at 1st, it looks bright, but then guess what? Eventually, you're figured out. A team that you beat 1 week, the next week, they're gonna watch that film, and then the next team
7:08 would be like, oh, no. They ain't gonna run, you know, 22 power on us all game. They're not gonna run, you know, a flood concept on us all game or a smash
7:20 concept on us all game. No. No. No. No. Like, we got this prepared. Okay. And so a team comes into a game, and they're like, oh, we've got this smash concept, and I'm gonna try to throw this in a cup and and the team
7:30 says, well, guess what? Now we're gonna run cover 2 on you, and you try to throw that hitch route on the outside, outside, you get picked off. Oh, well, the team last week was in 4 playing 0.25, so that was open. But
7:40 then this time, it's not. Yeah. Well, that's It's different, man.
7:43 That's that's key because how often does this happen in life where you you need you realize you need to make an adjustment. Mhmm.
7:50 Yeah.
7:50 You make an adjustment, and then you have the worst week ever.
7:54 Oh, dude. Yeah.
7:55 It happens all the time. Yeah.
7:56 What's your response? Instant that instant, like, gratification we desire, and it's not there.
8:01 Yeah. It's like, oh, I just made this adjustment.
8:03 This is gonna be fire this week, and it's the
8:05 way everything goes against you. What's your response?
8:08 Tuesday, Wednesday just sucks.
8:10 What's your response
8:11 Yeah. After you made that adjustment and you just got hit
8:14 with life in reality? For real. Yeah. It's understanding that
8:17 For real.
8:18 That when you make these changes, that when you're constantly looking and willing to be to be, Yeah. We call it, you know, to to be to to to build
8:30 precept upon precept. Right? So that just means constantly being changed and and and and and being improved in all areas of your life. It's not always gonna be instant. Some That's good. You might see instant results,
8:41 but most
8:41 Yeah. You're gonna get hit with some stuff as soon
8:46 as you make that change. That's good. But I also believe that's a test of what is your conviction. How much do you believe in this adjustment that you're making? How much do you believe
8:58 in this process of constantly being willing to be changed, to be improved, to be, you know, to be corrected? We don't like that word.
Learning Through Losses and Making Adjustments
9:10 Right? Right. How much do you believe in that person?
9:13 Criticism is a real thing. It's a real thing. People do not like it.
9:16 But it's necessary. So what do you do? What's your response?
9:21 So okay. We got let's talk about that for 1 2nd because constructive criticism, most people, they immediately just start going with, like, well,
9:33 don't judge me.
9:34 Yeah. Defensive. Yeah.
9:35 This is the defense mechanism that kicks in. This is cool. And it's like, what if we went with the response of, like, hold on a minute. Like, everyone has a right to their opinion, 1st and foremost.
9:48 An opinion is not judgmental. I consider judging more of, like, a condemnation or a consequence bestowed upon someone. Well, I'm not in the supreme court. I'm not in a courtroom,
10:00 but I have the right to an opinion based off the perception someone gives me. That's a human right. If I perceive something, that's not judging. And, honestly, Jesus, you know, said judge a tree by
10:12 its fruit at the end of the day. But, like, I mean, that's bible. So but it's like Yeah. If I'm just, like, perceiving something and then I go and tell someone, hey. Look. I just wanna encourage you. Like, I think this
10:21 would be so good for you. And they go with this, why are you judging me mentality? Yo. I didn't have to I'm trying to help you. I coulda kept walking. And then here's the problem. Then you keep walking, and then they're
10:31 mad that you didn't even come up and then acknowledge them or try to help them. It's like, we live in this society where you're just dinged if you do danged if you don't. You approach them, they're upset. You don't
10:40 approach them, well, you didn't care about me in the 1st place. This is why we gotta get back to conversations again and stop relying on our phones as a way to communicate.
10:49 Yeah.
10:49 Have in person eye contact. The problem is and people argue in comment sections. And it's like most of the time, I bet you if you look at those comments, someone just gave their opinion, and it was super classy, super
11:01 nice. And because you can't show emotion or tone over text, someone's like, well, you're a little hot right now. You're a little firm right now. I don't like the tone of your, comment. And it's like, what are we doing,
11:11 man? Like but if we would just get back to conversation Yes. And it's like, I'm not trying to hate on culture, but there's a real problem.
11:24 And it's like, I've had people even say this. Like, I've had legitimate like, some of my some of my buddies in other states, their wives have even said this, that they're, like, disappointed, and this is not to be sexist
11:35 or anything. They're disappointed with the way females are today and even just the dating world because this is how bad phones are today in in social media. And I know this. This this has happened to some of my friends
11:46 where they'll approach a female, and they'll just say the old traditional route of, hey. You know, like, they're they're talking, and he just says, hey. I'd like to get your number or offer you mine.
11:58 Very very classy, a gentleman, all of that. Oh, wow. We're getting a lot of sun real quick. You feel that? That got bright real quick. But but but think about this. So so I'm gonna tell you this story. This so this guy,
12:10 like, says that to this girl, like, hey. I'll give you, you know, my number, or can I get yours? She looks at him, true story, and goes, what do you mean me give you my number? Like, what? You want my
12:22 address too? Are you some serial killer that's gonna stalk me? He's like, what in the world? So now this traumatizes his mind. So now the next woman, he decides, okay.
12:34 Should I ask for a social media handle? Like, hey. What's your Instagram or what's your Snapchat? So guess what that girl does? She looks at him and basically says, hey.
12:46 You're probably just like all the other dudes that's gonna try to send me an inappropriate photo or, like, want 1 from me. So then the guy's like, well, what do I do anymore? How am I supposed to meet somebody?
12:59 And I'm like, dude, this is the problem in the world is we have so many rules now and, like, traumas that people have never gotten rid of. Or what did you say at the beginning? Some
13:11 Instagram reel or meme that, like, put some, like, thought into someone's mind that, like, oh, well, this is how it always is in society. You better hold on to that number. Never give it out. They'll show up up at your
13:21 door wanting, you know, to come inside and Mhmm. Kill you or something. You know? And, like, that's where they get this thought of, oh, well, what are you? A serial killer? Like, they got that from some documentary or
13:30 Instagram reel or something that scared them and put that thought in them. Mhmm. So now it's like, at this point, it's like, well, then how are people supposed to meet? And it's like, you can't even approach anybody and
13:41 just say, hey. How are you enjoying the concert? Because everyone's like this the whole time. You know what I mean?
13:46 Well, I think, you know, just to chime in on that, 1 of the things that's really interesting to me right now is that we have gotten away from being honest and accepting filters. And so we're so confilled
13:57 Yeah, bro. We're so confused we're so confused right now because you can make yourself look like anything. You can sound like anything on social media. And then when you meet that
14:09 person in real life and you have a conversation, that's why they avoid the conversation because they made up somebody online that they felt that you would never meet.
14:18 Yeah.
14:19 And so I guess let's just get let's get let's attack it. When are we gonna start being honest with ourselves again? Because what it really boils down to is if you spend all that time trying to make up something then
14:30 you're not rather than actually taking the time to discover who you are, apply a process, and actually build brick by brick. You can actually stand confidently in public and have conversations. That's
14:42 why these people can't that's why people today can't have conversations usually out in public. I mean, we're on a college campus now and people are talking, but they're surface level conversations.
14:52 Yep. And I
14:52 think that's where we're at is is that everything is surface level, and we're also afraid to actually get in-depth because we've made up everything that you see. And so until we get to the point where we're
15:04 like, you know what? I'm gonna be honest about who I am. I'm gonna be honest about my struggles. I'm gonna be honest about my setbacks. I'm gonna be honest about my pain, and I'm gonna stop creating a whole,
15:16 biography on AI that fits the narrative to whatever whatever whatever social group I'm trying to fit into. Because eventually, yeah, you're gonna get exposed. And, we have
15:28 to get to the point where you know what? You would worry about being exposed if you were truthful to yourself. You are less. You don't have to you don't have to you you need to be confident. Hey. You know what? I'm not 6
15:39 5. I'm 6 2.
15:41 Yeah.
15:41 I'm not I'm not 2 40 with the 6 pack. I'm 2 80, but I love who I am because I created that person. And, you know, it it I think that's important. And and what we do is we forget.
15:53 This is an old saying, but everything that you do in the the dark comes to light. Everything that you fake, someone is gonna find out somewhere. It and and the thing is it's expedited. Right? It's
16:05 expedited because I can Google, did you do this? Did you play here? Did you really participate in this? Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's Google it. I don't see you. And now and now and here's the thing. Guess
16:17 what? Matthew says this all the time. Think about this. He he he he told me this years ago. We were working out at
16:23 Yeah.
16:23 1 night. It was it was late. We were Yeah. Yeah. We were working out, and he said, I wanna I wanna tell you something. He said Yeah. He said, how you leave something is how you enter it. I I can't he's how you leave
16:35 something is how you enter it. So we have a whole generation, a culture right now that leave something lying, okay, with whatever they've made up in the back of their mind and post it, and then they're
16:47 entering a new opportunity Yeah. With the same lie.
16:50 Yeah. So so it it creates this bleeding effect onto the next opportunity. Yeah. So, essentially, if I leave this job in a really very bad way,
17:02 you're taking that mindset now into your next job. Yes. If I do someone dirty in a relationship, I'm taking that baggage with me to another relationship. So, like,
17:14 how you end something or depart from something makes or breaks that next opportunity is basically the way to say it. You know?
17:23 Yeah. So it comes down to this, guys.
17:27 And I love this that we're gonna say this on campus.
17:31 We have to start loving truth again.
17:33 Yeah. Yeah.
17:35 We can
17:35 teach trends. We can teach theory. We can teach rhetoric.
17:41 We can teach thesis, opinions. We can make argumentative cases.
17:49 But what are we ultimately seeking? Are we seeking knowledge, or are we seeking truth? Because truth will set us free. What's truth gonna set you free from? Offense. We're
18:01 easily offended because someone tells you the truth and you don't like it because you've built your life on a lie. That's what you were saying. And Yeah. When
18:12 we realize that we built our life on a lie, we start to recognize all the different scenarios where we've just left things in ruins when we actually thought we were doing good.
18:25 Yeah. Yeah.
18:27 We gotta get back to love and truth. Yeah. Yeah.Show more
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