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Pray: Rediscovering Your Heavenly Father
January 6, 2026 · 28 min
Have you ever felt tongue-tied when trying to talk to God? Pastor John Mark launches a practical series on prayer with a refreshing message: you don't have to be perfect at it.
Series "Pastor Talks" with John Mark Caton January 6, 2026 · 28 min · "Pastor Talks" with John Mark Caton
Have you ever felt tongue-tied when trying to talk to God? Pastor John Mark launches a practical series on prayer with a refreshing message: you don't have to be perfect at it. ...more Show the full description Show less Have you ever felt tongue-tied when trying to talk to God? Pastor John Mark launches a practical series on prayer with a refreshing message: you don't have to be perfect at it.
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John Mark is the Senior Pastor of the thriving Cottonwood Creek Church in Allen, Texas, where he has served since 1995.
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The Struggle and Power of Prayer 0:00 Good morning church, you glad you're in God's house today? Amen, love that. Welcome you in person as well as those who are online. We begin a brand new, series today entitled Pray, just simply0:12 entitled How to Talk to God When You Don't Know What to Say. Let me just ask a question. How many of you, you say I'm pretty much just an awesome prayer? We wanna know who you are.0:25 Nobody raised their hand. So I want you to know as we roll in, we're all in the same boat. Well, we're not really all in the same boat. I did some research this week, on prayer and gender, prayer and,0:37 you know, age and prayer. How many of you think men pray more than women? Crickets. You are right.0:49 Ladies, you out pray us. Give yourselves a hand. Go ahead and be proud. That was even a half hearted clap for your own prayer life.1:01 About 40 percent of Americans, say they pray once a day. About 40 percent say they pray at least once a day. Ladies, you're much more likely you pray about 551:13 percent of you say you pray at least once a day. My guess is, your prayer life is so good because you're married to us. You constantly are in the car or at the dinner table1:24 with the prayer request, where he's right there. And he needs prayer. How many of you know, age, what about age? How many of you think, older people pray more than younger people?1:37 Just getting ready for the face to face conversation, aren't you? Right? So, according to most recent data from Pew Research, 18 to 29 year olds, about 28 percent say they1:49 pray every day. 30 to 49 year olds, about 39 percent say they pray every day. These are Americans. Those who are 50 to 64, about 52 percent2:01 pray every day. Just like the closer you get, the more you wanna have that conversation. Right? And if you're 65 and older, you should just pray every day because you never know what's gonna happen. Thought this2:13 was interesting. Ran across a study on prayer, as it relates to chronic illnesses that people who have been diagnosed with a chronic terminal illness that2:25 can be treatable but not curable. Ran across this in the National Library of Medicine. Here's what it says. In a longitudinal study among US adults with chronic illnesses and terminal2:36 illnesses, those who prayed daily or more often were 1.5 to 1.7 times more likely to survive the next 6 years.2:49 So just having that ongoing conversation with God, that ongoing prayer life with God. What about anxiety and depression? We hear a lot about that today. Ran across this from a3:01 couple of different mental health journals quoted this idea on anxiety and depression and prayer. Says they found that prayer can lead an anxious person and depressed3:13 person to have a lower heart rate, reduced muscle tension, slower breathing, decreased activation of the sympathetic nervous system, that's your fight or flight system, and3:24 increased parasympathetic relaxation activity, increasing your mood and reducing your anxiety. So it's kinda interesting. When we come to the idea of prayer, this is kind of a3:36 big deal. And and and let's be honest, most of us are not real good at that. Even as your pastor, I want you to know if I were to list my spiritual disciplines, the ones I'm the best at, you know,3:48 I'm studying God's word, I'm reading God's word every day. But prayer would come way down the list. And so I want to encourage you with this. If you are here today or if you're watching online and you say, Man, my prayer4:00 life is not that good. Just welcome to the club. Welcome to the club. So as we think about this, we've already taken the Lord's supper and now we're gonna start today4:12 studying the Lord's prayer. In the Lord's prayer, there are only 57 words in the original language. Very short. It's just kind of a model prayer, kind of a template of a prayer. So let'sEmbracing Relationship in the Lord's Prayer 4:23 just quickly read it and let me just show you a couple of things about it. Matthew chapter 6, you find this right in the middle of the sermon on the mount that a lot of people call this, by the way, the Lord's Prayer.4:36 I would actually say this isn't the Lord's Prayer. John 17 is the Lord's Prayer. This is the disciples' prayer. Because remember, we're gonna see this again in Luke chapter 11, the response4:48 that Jesus has given is a request from the disciples. Lord, teach us to pray. So, this is actually our prayer. This is our model. This is our5:00 template. John 17 was Jesus' prayer. That's truly the Lord's prayer. So if anything, you think of what we're gonna be looking at. This is our prayer that Jesus gave us both in Matthew chapter 65:11 and Luke chapter 11. Luke chapter 11, we're gonna see here in a second. It's more of a cliff notes version, although this 1 isn't that long at all. So here it is. He says, this then is how you should pray. This5:23 is This is a model, this is a pattern, this is a framework, this is a template. Pray like this, Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come5:35 and your will be done on earth just as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread, and forgive us our debts as we also have5:47 forgiven our debtors. And lead us, not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil 1. Did you notice what I emphasized there? There are no5:59 personal pronouns in the disciples prayer. If Jesus is teaching them how to pray, he's not saying, well go to the father and say, I need this and I want this and then me, my, me, my. He said no, no,6:11 no. There is a corporate attitude of prayer that we need to understand as we are praying, there are others around the world that are also praying to the same father. And so Jesus doesn't6:22 say, hey go to the father and say I need this and I need this and I need this and I need this. Matter of fact, he didn't say that at all. No personal pronouns. If you think of the division of those 57 original words, the6:34 vast majority of them are talking about God and God being in heaven. Then it gets down to us forgiving other people. Then it's 1 quick6:46 phrase, my daily bread. Give us this day our daily bread and then lead us not into temptation. So as you think about the hierarchy of this, it really starts6:58 with God and then it goes to others. It's really not a ton about me. It's kind of like the 10 commandments. What do we know about the 10 commandments? First set of the 10 commandments, they're7:10 about our relationship with God. The next set is about our relationship with others. What about the great commandment? Matthew 22, it's about our relationship and I love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and7:20 soul. Love your neighbor as yourself. And so as you think about this, when we walk through this, you kind of are rolling through the Lord's prayer or the disciples prayer, on a number of ships.7:33 As you think about it, the first ship is relationship. That's what we're gonna talk about today, is that you and I have a relationship with the father. That that7:45 is that is how we can navigate the stormy waters of life. It starts with a relationship, he's our Father. Then it then it says worship, so what? Hallowed be your name.7:57 And then what do we see? Guardianship, Alright, another ship. He says, listen man, God, you're in heaven. Then lordship, your8:09 will be done, not my will be done. And so as you just think about it, when we think of our prayer life and the Lord's prayer, it is all about riding on these relationships or worship8:21 or guardianship or lordship. It's all about God and it's very little about us. So let me take you over to Luke chapter 11. I'm gonna just read quickly the shorter version. It's a different time where the8:32 disciples saw Jesus praying and they wanted to know how to do it. So it says 1 day, everybody say 1 day. 1 day. 1 day Jesus was praying in a certain place, so he8:44 had a time of prayer and a place of prayer. When he finished, 1 of his disciples said to him, listen to this, Lord teach us to pray. Now here's the beautiful8:56 thing. If you are not a good prayer, it is a learned discipline that you and I can develop and the disciples saw something about Jesus' life, his prayer9:08 life, that he had this connection with the father that they didn't have and they said, Lord teach us to pray. So if you're sitting here and you're guilty about prayer or you don't think you're good at prayer or you have9:19 an inconsistent prayer life or if you're insecure about praying. Anybody in here ever been called on the carpet, you got your family together or friends together and someone says, hey Jean Marc, would you9:31 pray? Well I'm a professional prayer. That's not that big of a deal for me. I can toss 1 up almost any time.9:43 K? Now whether it's meaningful or not, that's for you to judge. But here's what I know, I have actually made the mistake and maybe you have too, of calling on someone, even in our church9:55 and said would you close us in prayer and boy you talk about lock up. Right? Why? I think it's because a lot of people put a lot of pressure on themselves to think I've got to pray the10:07 perfect prayer. I will tell you I have had deacons in this church pray over me and in the middle of their prayer, I'm like, this is a good 1. Right, I'm like, this, they're nailing it, right?10:19 There are some people that they are just good prayers. But here's the good news, if you say you struggled with your prayer life, so did the disciples. Did you get10:31 it? See, they saw something in his life, in his prayer life, that they didn't have. So if you are sitting here saying I struggle10:43 with my prayer life, good news, you're just like 1 of his disciples. And just as he chose them, he chooses you. And he says Lord teach us to pray. So here it is,10:55 jump down to verse 2. He said to them then, when you pray say, a little different than Matthew 6, Matthew 6 says, this is how you pray. Say this, Father, back to that11:07 relationship, remember? Hallowed be thy name, alright? He goes, Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive11:18 everyone who sins against us and lead us not into temptation. And man, this idea of the fact that the father and the relationship with the father is revolutionary. If you go all the way through the11:30 old testament, if you look in the old testament, you will see God called father a couple of times. But it's not in an individual sense. It's that he's the father of Israel. He is11:42 the father of the nation of Israel. Jesus literally comes in and does something revolutionary. He says, you and I, we can talk to God and call him our father.11:54 This really just establishes the relationship. Remember the ships we travel on? Guardianship, worship, lordship, man your will be done. It starts with relationship, so when you12:06 start thinking about praying this year, start by having this understanding, I am simply having a conversation with God. Let me12:18 ask you a question. When your kids were little, and they would come up and they would climb up in your lap, or maybe your grandkids, and they they they start saying something and they12:30 struggle spitting it out, Does it frustrate you? No. You kinda think it's cute. So maybe if you're a bad prayer, God will look at you and say, kinda12:42 cute. Don't really know what that meant, but good job. But here here's the and there's also if you're a dad in12:54 the room, if you're like me, how many of you wish you had a do over? If you're a dad in the room, how many times do you say, I wish I'd have had this conversation?13:06 You ever done it? Ladies, you ever say, you know, I wish when they were 13 I'd established a pattern of having ongoing deep level conversations with my kids. And then a lot of times you look13:18 back with regret. Can I tell you what? Your father wants to have those same conversations with you Because he has a relationship with you and he loves you and he cares about you.13:30 So let's go back to Matthew chapter 6. We're gonna do a lot this week of just setting the stage and then we're gonna talk about that first ship relationship. But let's set the stage. Here's the context. It's in the13:40 middle of the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew chapter 5, the beatitudes. Now we're in Matthew chapter 6. Jesus starts talking about hypocrisy and spiritual disciplines of giving and prayer. And so notice what he says,13:52 verse 1. He says, Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to simply be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your father who is in heaven. Now listen,14:04 when righteousness is done for applause, that's all you get he says. It's not applauded in heaven. He says, So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with14:16 trumpets as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have already received the reward in full. He says listen, when you pat yourself on the back and say,14:27 Everybody look at me and I'm gonna drop a might in here or I'm gonna do this for someone or I'm gonna post it online and you get a thumbs up, that's your reward. Now he goes on. Matthew chapter 6, pick it up in14:39 verse 5. He says, And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.14:51 Man, if your prayer requires a spotlight and a microphone, that's not a prayer, that's a recital. You get it? Man, when you pray,15:03 man in your car working out or just at the table or whatever, man just let it be between you and God. Don't always look to announcements. So he says, And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites for15:15 they love to just pray standing in the synagogues on the street corners to be seen by others. He says, Truly I tell you, they've received their reward in full. In other words, prayer is not answered. Matthew chapter 615:24 verse 7, we're closing in on it. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words.15:36 So here's some good news. You don't have to be good praying in public. God really doesn't even care about him. You don't have to pray long prayers,15:48 but if you want to have a relationship with your father, the ship, that you need to spend some time in conversation with the father. That's what we're gonna talk about over the next couple of weeks. So let's go back just16:00 to the very first phrase, Matthew chapter 6 verse 9. Here it is. This then is how you should pray. Our father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Alright, so it all starts right there. Prayer begins16:12 on that first ship of relationship. It is not ritual, there it is. This is how you pray, our father. Remember I said in the old testament, the father was always called the father of the nation or the father of16:24 Israel. It starts with relationship, not a ritual. Fast forward into the new testament, when Jesus starts talking, he starts referring to God as his father all the time. As a matter of fact, it says several16:36 times, that's why they wanted to kill him. So when he says start with a relationship in your prayer, our father, just father, I want you to hear me. If you go look in Matthew, Mark and16:47 Luke, I think Jesus calls God father like 65 times. You go look in the old testament, never a personal father. But here in the new testament, absolutely. You go to read the book of John, you16:59 will see that Jesus refers to the father over 100 times. And so we are talking about this relationship that establishes all of our conversation with God. So listen, this is a father17:11 who wants to hear from you. Now, now some of you are sitting here going, yeah, but man, it's been a long time since I've prayed. Well perhaps, but remember the story17:23 of the prodigal son? Been away a long long time, finally came to his senses, came back to the father and what did the father say, it's about time? No.17:35 Remember the prodigal son came back and said, father I have sinned. First word father. Acknowledging that relationship that they have. And what did the father do? He didn't just simply say welcome back. He says17:47 man put a robe on him, set up the party tent, kill the fatted calf, we're going to have fun because why? Because that son that was lost of mine has returned17:59 home. Give you a couple of more thoughts on prayers as we think about this relationship and the idea of walking with him. It starts with the word father.18:12 Just let it start there. You can refer to him as heavenly father, and father, he's not the big man upstairs.18:24 He's your dad who has a relationship with you and wants you to have a relationship with him. So start it with father, not some crazy formula you saw somewhere. There's some great formulas out18:36 there, and we'll talk about a couple over the next couple of weeks as we say, alright, maybe you can establish this, but it all starts with Father, because then it reminds you who you're talking to.18:49 And it reminds you it's more important who you're talking to than what you're saying. And God forbid, don't ever ever ever think you have to19:01 impress God with your prayers. They don't have to be beautiful, they don't have to be perfect, they just have to be said, That you simply just want to pray,19:13 God, you're my father. It's been a while since we've talked and that's on me, God, that's not on19:25 you, Because God, you're always wanting to have a conversation with me. You just want me to crawl up in your lap there in the heavenly of heavenlies and just have a simple conversation.19:37 So it starts with relationship, doesn't start with the rituals. We just continue to read the next, next word right there. Prayer reminds us who God is and who we are not.19:49 Man, when I think about this, our father in heaven. In heaven. So when we talk about a relationship with father, we also want to put him back on his throne.20:02 We want to remind ourselves that he is the father who is in heaven. We put him back on the throne. And also when we talk about God being the father who is in heaven, it restores our perspective.20:14 Because what happens? The the more we're down here, the more we're looking around, the more we're, man my problems get big and I get small. But when I turn around and put perspective on it20:26 and start expanding the reality that this God who spoke the world into existence is my father who wants to have a conversation with me, it expands him, shrinks me and also magnifies God and shrinks my problems.20:39 Why, because if I think you are the father in heaven, he's got this, right? So it's God in heaven and I'm here on earth.20:51 So God's got this perspective that he can look down. He knows what's gonna happen to me before I ever thought about it. And if I'm worried about it, he knows whether that's gonna happen or not. So it21:02 starts with me establishing and reminding myself that I have a relationship with the God who spoke the world in existence. Our Father, And where is he? He is in heaven.21:14 And I love this idea, we move on to hallowed be your name. So that's the third point, is you just continue to journey on. We're just reading this prayer. Prayer ultimately reorients our21:26 hearts before we request God's help. So remember the hierarchy. It starts with God, God, God, God, then our needs.21:39 It just makes God big, it puts him back on the throne of our life, makes us stop worrying. So notice what it says, verse 9, our father in heaven, hallowed be your name.21:52 So when you praise, establish a relationship with father. Put him as your guardian, guardianship in heaven, he can see it all22:04 and then what do you wanna do? Man, you wanna praise him for being a God who created the world, who who put your life together, and so start it with praise.22:16 Don't start or lead with give me, give me, give me. Start with God, you're good. You've always been good. Even the fact that I have a22:27 relationship with you that I can call you father talks about your goodness and not my goodness. And let me tell you what, when you start praising God in prayer, it'll change you before22:39 God changes your circumstances. You get it? There will start to be something going on in your life where God will change you in such a way that even if God doesn't change my circumstances, he's changed22:51 me so I can live with my circumstances. So I start with the relationship. I have guardianship, he's in heaven, he's looking down. Then I can begin to praise23:03 him. When I praise him, it acknowledges and exalts who he is. That's worship, alright? Another ship we roll on. Then I can turn around and I can say, God change my attitude, change23:15 my heart about this or about that and and then ultimately it will change what I ask for. God, I would love for you to change these circumstances, but if23:26 you don't, change me. Did you get that? Your prayer can be, God, I want you to change this, but if you don't, change23:38 me so that I can be an example of who you want me to be. Then let me give you my fourth thought. Just as we open this idea of prayer, here it is. Prayer23:50 ultimately reconnects us when sin has created distance. Some of you might feel like your 20 25 was your prodigal year.24:04 Can I tell you your father is waiting for you to come back and just simply start having a conversation with him? And when you do,24:17 that relationship with the father, he's not gonna say it's about time. He's gonna say welcome back. Because let me tell you24:29 what, I love this idea that prayer basically closes the gap between us and God. Prayer restores24:41 what sin has disturbed. Maybe there's some things going on in your life that are lingering from decisions you made last year or years ago. Can I tell you, the moment, the season of prayer,24:53 it just settles everything down? And when you pray, God uses his grace to close the gap between where you are and where he wants you to be.25:06 See, grace isn't a wall. It's a hook, it's an invitation. Well, God simply says just start focusing on your relationship25:18 with the Father. Guilt always pushes us away, but grace and God wants to draw us in. Let's pray. God,25:31 as we end this first service on prayer, God, we don't have to be perfect at it because it starts with25:43 relationship. We have a relationship with the father, the God who spoke the world into existence. So God, my prayer is that we would leave here empowered not to25:55 be perfect, but to rest in that relationship of father. God, my prayer is that there would be men in this room that would do26:07 the manliest of all things, including me, that we would leave here today saying, I can do this. I'm gonna just start having26:19 a conversation every day with my heavenly father who wants to hear, he wants to help, he wants to encourage me.26:32 Father, I pray that there's some ladies in this room who probably many are already fantastic prayers, but I pray that they would rest not in perfection, not in not in performance, but in their relationship with the26:43 father. Because that's the kind of God you are. God, let us be a church just as I've read and I'll talk over the next couple of weeks.26:55 No personal pronouns in the disciples prayer. It's all about our, it's about we, it's about us.27:09 God let us be an our, we, and us type church. That we encourage each other and pray for each other and love each other and and spend time with each other because27:21 in doing so, we glorify our father who is in heaven. In Jesus name we pray, amen and amen.In this video 0:00 The Struggle and Power of Prayer4:14 Embracing Relationship in the Lord's Prayer
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