Skip to content Kingmaker: How to be a Good Father Jun 19 · 37 min ...more
Kingmaker: How to be a Good Father
June 19, 2024 · 37 min
Through examples of flawed individuals finding redemption, John Mark encourages listeners to seek support in raising kids and to align their choices with God's principles for effective fatherhood.
Series "Pastor Talks" with John Mark Caton June 19, 2024 · 37 min · "Pastor Talks" with John Mark Caton
Through examples of flawed individuals finding redemption, John Mark encourages listeners to seek support in raising kids and to align their choices with God's principles for effective fatherhood. ...more Show the full description Show less Through examples of flawed individuals finding redemption, John Mark encourages listeners to seek support in raising kids and to align their choices with God's principles for effective fatherhood.
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John Mark is the Senior Pastor of the thriving Cottonwood Creek Church in Allen, Texas, where he has served since 1995.
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The Role of Fathers: Kingmakers or Breakers 0:01 And so, if you happen to be new here, in person, or either in person or online, I want to encourage this. We started a series a couple of weeks, ago entitled Kingmaker. And it really comes with the idea that there are0:12 decisions that we can make, and actions that we can take, and words that we can say that literally will king us, make us kingmakers. But, there are also, on the negative side of that, there are those actions0:23 that we can take that will break us. They will break our families, break our relationships, break our friendships, and ultimately, we're gonna talk about this today, break our kids. If you missed any of those, I wanna0:34 encourage you to go back. You can see them online. Week 1, we talked about the reality. There, that we all have battles we have to fight. And how do we fight those well, and how do we not fight those well. Last0:46 week, we talked about being a person of influence. How can you be a person of great, emotional, spiritual, and business influence. And today, I wanna talk to us about this, dads.0:59 Man, how can we be the kind of men that God wants us to be? And so, I wanna encourage you to tap in, take some notes, open up your Cottonwood Creek app, whatever it does. And so, let's go back to our early verses we1:10 looked at as we kicked this series off. Here it is and notice what it says, Proverbs chapter 14 verse 11. Said, the house, and notice this, it's kind of like the idea of a palace, alright, someone who's a1:22 strong person. The house of the wicked will be destroyed, but the tent, notice the difference here, the small thing. Maybe you feel like I'm kinda small in this world. Notice what it says, but the tent1:34 of the small or the tent of the upright will flourish. And I love what Solomon is saying there, he goes listen, it doesn't matter how powerful you are. If you live a wicked life and if you1:46 make poor decisions, ultimately it's gonna destroy your house, your children, your family and your future. But he says, maybe you sit here today and you go, man I'm a person of modest1:58 means. And so Solomon then turns around and says, listen, the tent of the righteous will flourish. And so wherever you are on that spectrum, if you feel like man, God has really blessed me in a powerful and2:10 real way, I want to encourage you to live a righteous life, because that's going to allow you and your family and your kids to sustain that legacy. And if you feel like I'm in a modest space right now, I want to2:21 encourage you, do the right thing, and God will exalt you and give you the influence you desire. Here's the next 1, Proverbs chapter 14 verse 34. Righteousness exalts a nation,2:33 but but sin condemns any people. And as we think about the pattern in Israel, was 1 that we can notice even today in our church,2:45 and in our cities, and in our country. The pattern in Israel, very clear, if you go look at First and second Kings, that's where we're going to be at today, and you look at first and second Chronicles, here's the pattern2:57 that you'll notice. Whoever the leader was, whoever the king was, that king would make decisions, develop policies, and those policies then would flow down, not just from the top, they didn't stay at the top, to all3:09 the people. And if a king was making godly decisions and good decisions, the people were blessed and they would flourish, whether they lived in a palace, a house, or in a tent. However, if you3:21 had a king, at the top who was making poor decisions, or ungodly decisions, or bad decisions, the effect of that was exactly the same. That from the top to the bottom, from the person in3:33 the palace to the tent, they suffered, they struggled, they went through incredible harm. So as we think about this whole series, it's always about us learning that the decisions that we make3:45 today will lead to our flourishing or our destruction. The decisions that we make today will encourage our kids, encourage our families, encourage us3:56 to move towards success, or will ultimately destroy our kids and destroy our family. And so, as we think on this Father's Day, there's no better place to start than the idea that we want to be a king maker. I will tell4:08 you as a as a dad, I want to be a king maker to my children. I want to be the kind of man not perfect, that I leave a legacy, not a perfection, not pretending to be4:20 perfect, but 1 that says, you know what, that's a pattern and a model and example for my children to follow. Notice this next passage, Proverbs chapter 20 verse 7. Says, the righteous man or the4:32 righteous lead blameless lives. And again, you might want to underline that word blameless. That word blameless doesn't mean perfect. It just means godly, and good, and positive4:44 lives. The righteous man lead blameless lives, blessed are their children after them. How many of you in the room, male or female, you have children? How many of you want your kids to4:56 be blessed? Hundred percent, hundred percent. I will tell you even as we look at some of these kings today and as I talk to men and sometimes they're going through some things and they've made some mistakes or they've5:07 done some things that aren't God, I've never had a man, I've never had a woman, I've never had a person in my office over a cup of coffee tell me I really don't want my kids to be blessed. Never had it.5:19 Even even with what you and I would consider some of the most unrighteous conversations and unrighteous people, when you look at the way they live their life, they will still say, I want my kids5:31 to have a better life than I have. I want my kids to be better off. I want my kids, to live in such a way that they are encouraged in their life. And And so, when it comes to Father's Day,5:43 dads I ran across another article this week, I'm always looking to the latest research. Ran across an article, it's called In Praise of Fathers. Alright. So, dads just listen in, tap in for a5:55 second. It's 10 research based ways dads impact their kids for the better. And so what they did is they looked at all the scientific data, they looked at all the children, all the things that they had about homes, about6:06 cities, about the country, about, whether it's a boy or girl, whatever age they are. And, interestingly enough, some of the findings that they found today are exactly the same6:18 findings they found a decade ago. And a decade before that, and a decade before that. Boy, you've probably heard these statistics as I was reading this article. You've heard some of these6:30 statistics that a child who doesn't have a father in the home, listen to this, a child that doesn't have father in the home, you will have heard these over and over again, and I will tell you according to6:41 research, these are just as true today as they were 20 and 30 and 40 years ago. So if a child grows up, boy or girl, and the dad is not in the home,6:53 kids are 5 times more likely to grow up below the poverty line. 5 times more likely if a dad is not in the house. Here here's another 1. You ready? If dad's not in the house,7:06 kids, are at an increased risk of sexual abuse. That that means those that are looking to abuse someone, if a dad is absent,7:17 a strong figure is absent, they see that child, son or daughter, as a target. Here's another 1. Kids who don't have a father in the home are 2 to 3 times more likely to7:29 use hard drugs. 2 to 3 times more likely to use hard drugs. They are twice without a dad in the home. Children are twice as likely to drop out of school.7:42 They are 2 to 3 times more likely to have emotional and behavioral problems. Take a dad out of the house, kids are 2 to 3 times more likely to have7:54 emotional and behavioral problems. Here's another 1, kids without a father figure, a strong male figure in their lives are more than twice as likely to end up in prison.8:06 Dads, we matter. Men, we matter. We live in a culture and a war and a world that wants to attack masculinity. I'm gonna encourage you to stand8:18 strong and be a man. Alright? That we don't cow down. If you cow down and reject masculine Now let me also8:30 say, I will say appropriate masculinity. Does that make sense? All masculinity is not the same, just like all femininity is not the same. Right? So I'm gonna tell you8:41 men, let's be men, but let's be appropriate men. Let's be the right kind of men. Don't expect that we're gonna be perfect men, but let's bow up just a little bit. Alright? And stand strong. Why? Because our8:53 kids need it. Our communities need it. Our cities need it. Our country needs men to step up and say, I'm gonna be a man, and I don't care.9:07 I'm a little fired up. That's the negative. Alright? If there's no dad in the house, that's the negative. Let me tell you the positive. This is according to research. You can go look at the article if9:19 you want to. Believe it or not, when men are acting appropriately in their masculinity, they actually raise children, boys and9:31 girls, turn out to be more compassionate, not less compassionate. Woah. Wait, what? I I thought our kids got their9:42 compassion from their mom. No, go look at the research. You wanna know where kids really learn compassion? Is when a son or a daughter looks9:54 at their dad and thinks he's Superman. And he goes through some stuff, and he bows up for the kids, and he mans up for the kids, but at a certain point he knows it's time to10:06 get on his knee. And be be compassionate to when mom's crying or hurting that the son or daughter sees dad walk over and hug her.10:19 That this man, this superman, all of a sudden turns on this flow of compassion. And guess what? Kids actually become more compassionate because they say,10:31 oh, life is hard and dad handles it. But when life gets hard on me, dad knows how to handle me. And so, you want your kids to actually be more compassionate,10:43 it's not getting dad out, it's getting dads in their lives. Here's number 2, it improves a child's self confidence. You want to raise confidence and courageous kids? Dad needs to be in10:55 the home. They need to be around, they need to encourage their kids. Sometimes dad needs to say, listen, you just need to suck it up. Right? You you need to life's hard. Man, life's difficult. And you're right, you're11:06 not always gonna win. You're not always gonna make every shot. You're gonna step on the court and someone's gonna be better than you. But that doesn't keep you from stepping on the court again. Man, we develop a11:16 confidence in our kids that only happens when dad is in the home. Here's number 3, improves educational outcome. You want your kids to11:28 succeed educationally? That doesn't mean everybody is, gonna be in the midst of society. I don't even know how to spell that by the way, but apparently a bunch of smart people in that. Alright. But in11:39 general, you look at kids over communities, over cities and in school districts, the 1 that do ones that do the best consistently are the ones who have dad in the house. Here's another 1. Number11:51 4, listen to this. This doesn't sound right, but it's right. When a dad is in the home, children have more emotional stability, more emotional stability. In other12:03 words, they learn how to battle through these seasons and stay a bit more steady. Here's another, here's another number 5. With dads in the home, kids always experience a12:15 lower level of violence. They exhibit a lower level of violence. Just just look around at what is happening. If there is someone that,12:27 that they, the teenage son or the teenage daughter, knows they have to come home to, that is a man, they actually, when they are outside the house, exhibit less violent activity. They12:39 have. Why? Because there's no 1 to answer to when they come home. Here's another 1, 6. Having a godly, good father in the house actually increases the12:50 respect of women, Because a son or a daughter says, look how dad treats mom. I want to do it that way. So ladies, let me tell13:02 you what, if you want to know if it matters, you you want ladies to be treated better, we all do, Men need to be around who express appropriate love and encouragement and compassion,13:15 and respect for their wives. Here's the number 7, improves relationship skills. When a kid grows up, if dad's in the home, there's a way better chance that son or that daughter13:27 is gonna have relationship success, success later in their lives. Here's I won't give you there a couple of more here in the last 1. How many of you want successful children? Best way to raise successful13:39 children is dads in the home. Statistics show it. It's not a question. So dads, I want you to know as we look through this idea, man, dads13:51 matter. Kids, your dads matter. They encourage us along the way. And so here, we we've been in this series entitled Kingmaker. And what we do every week is we look14:02 at someone that is a bad example of how to fight a battle or how to be a good influence, and someone who is a good example. And so today, what I did is I looked through first and second Kings, and I found a bunch of a14:13 bunch of dads. And I just wanna draw out just a couple of dads and encourage you with them. And I want you to know also if you look from Genesis to Revelation all the way through God's word, there are actually more bad14:25 dads in the bible than there are good dads. Alright? That's what I love about God's word. It doesn't show us 1 good dad after another good dad or after another good dad after another good dad, that every dad is perfect.14:36 They're not. As a matter of fact, there are a lot of bad dads in the bible. And they're put in the bible to show us that a bad dad has a tendency to have a negative impact on their children. And so that's why I want us14:48 to understand, I mean there is an opportunity for here for us, that if you would consider yourself, and and don't raise your hand on this 1. Up to this point in your life,15:01 that you haven't been a great dad. Can I tell you this first guy I'm gonna talk about, he's gonna bring us hope? First dad I want to talk to us about is a bad dad. His15:13 name was Manasseh. And if you know anything about the southern and northern kingdom of Israel, if you're going through first and second Kings or first and second Chronicles, it's kind of hard to track, alright, who's15:24 this king? Is he in the northern kingdom, the southern kingdom, and after kingdom is the divide, is he is he good, is he bad? All of those things. Most of the time, just a general pattern, if you were reading through,15:33 you're like, where are they? If it's a bad king, chances are they were in the north. If it's a good king, they were in the south. However, from time to time, those are flipped. And the first guy we're15:45 gonna talk about is a guy named Manasseh. Manasseh is a king in the southern kingdoms. He ruled for 55 years. He was a sorry dude. Everybody say sorry dude. Sorry15:57 dude. There wasn't a day that went by in Manasseh's early life that he didn't meet his quota of human depravity. I'm just telling you, it was awful followed by awful, followed16:08 by awful, followed by awful. However, you go to the end of Manasseh's life. You go to the end of Manasseh's life and it says he repented and cried out to16:20 God. So here's the bad and the hope. You ready? The bad is, he spent a lot of his life doing everything he could to fulfill his own fleshly desires to lead the children of16:32 Israel away from God and his children away from God, and he hurt a lot of people along the way. However, at the end of his life, he cried out to God and he repented. So here's the hope after the bad.16:45 Maybe there's some men in this room that you have sent your sons or your daughters off and you reflect back on your dad ship or father16:57 ship and you go, I wasn't a very good dad. Can I tell you Manasseh tells us there's still hope? Manasseh turned out to be a pretty good granddad.17:09 And so, if there's a man in this room and you're middle age or older age and you look back and I will tell you there's not a man in this room. If you have kids, there's not a man in this room that doesn't live with some17:20 sort of regret. How many of us understand that? How many of you wish you would have had another year with your kids? I wish you could do over those 3 year old seasons, or those teenage17:32 conversations, or those early twenties conversations, or those newly wed conversations. Everybody in here lives with a season of regret, but this guy Manasseh ruled in Judah for17:44 55 years. Human depravity, bad decisions, hard decisions, hurt tons of people. At the end of the day, he repented and cried17:56 out. So So, my invitation to you, maybe there's a man in here that you're in your fifties or your sixties or or or maybe you're even in your seventies and you look back and go, man, I was a pretty bad dad. Can I tell18:08 you Manasseh tells us there's hope? Because at the end of his days, he repented to God and went back. And so that's the invitation to you. You're not left out. You're also gonna see when18:20 we cover the next 2, but it's actually not the dad that makes the difference. We're going to see here in a bit, it's an incredible uncle, an uncle18:31 that takes care of a nephew and a niece, That an uncle raised them. So maybe there's men in here that that man, you're like, I'm not a dad, or I I I want to be a18:43 dad someday. Are you an uncle? Do you have a a niece or a nephew that you can positively impact? You're not even the biological father, but we're gonna see18:55 an example where an uncle steps in and protects a king, and that king ultimately ends up being 1 of the greatest kings Israel ever had. We're also gonna see19:07 another man that the father wasn't that good. Father really wasn't that good. But he established a great relationship with some good friends. You're gonna see it, I'm gonna read it19:19 here in a second. I love it. He says he looked at him and he says, are you with me? This is not a great father, but he looks at a godly man. He's called the Rechabites.19:31 If you go read about the Rechabites, they're not they don't get a lot of a lot of writing. You can find more about them in Jeremiah, but you'll see that this king looks at the Rechabites, who, you look in Jeremiah, were19:43 some of the godliest men around. And the king looks at him and says, are you with me? And he says, yes. And he says, the king put his hand out to these new friends and he says, get up in my19:54 chariot. And maybe there's some men here today, when you look at your past, you think, man there's no way I can really change things. Can you take a hand of a godly man and bring him into20:06 your chariot and say let's do this thing together. And I'm gonna learn from you how I need to be a better dad. So I want you to know wherever you are in this room today, there is hope. There is encouragement. If20:18 you are a grandfather, you still play a part. If you are a father, you still have a season. If you are an uncle, man, you play a part. If you're a godly man, you can be a friend to someone who's trying to figure it out20:30 on their journey. So let's start by talking about this, ungodly Manasseh. Man, he let me just tell everybody say sorry dog. Y'all didn't say that with much enthusiasm because he's a sorry dog. Let's just pick it up. Look20:42 at it. Here it is, second Kings chapter 21 verse 1. He's 1 of the few bad kings in the southern kingdom. Here it is. Manasseh was 12 years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem for 5520:53 years. Here are the rain here are all the wrong things that he did. Human depravity. He rebuilt the high places. His father Hezekiah had torn down and destroyed. His father had torn them down. He ultimately built them21:05 back up. Here's number 2. He erected altars to Baal, and made an Asherah pole, that's number 3, altars to Baal, Asherah pole, as Ahab, the king of north had also done. So, here's what he's saying, we21:16 expect Ahab to do those things at Jezebel. But he says, he's doing them just down in the south. He's trying to keep up. And then, notice what it says. He says, he bowed down to all the starry hosts, worshiped21:28 them, the the gods of culture that day. He built altars in the temple of the Lord. He actually went into the temple of the Lord and built altars to the Lord which the Lord said, hey in Jerusalem I'll put my name. He went21:40 directly against God's, plan. In 2 courts of the temple, he also built altars to all the starry host. He sacrificed, listen to this, his own son21:52 in the fire. Everybody say, that's a bad king. He he built altars, led the children away. Remember, the policies that happen at the top end up affecting the22:04 people at the bottom. The people at the bottom begin to struggle all the way through, but it wasn't just the people at the bottom, it was his family. This guy was so demented that he took his sons and his daughters, if22:15 you read elsewhere, and sacrificed them to other gods. Man, you go all the way back in the old testament over and over and over again, God said, don't do that. That's what pagans do. Don't do22:27 that. That's what pagans do. Don't do that. That's what pagans do. And, this is exactly what he did. And he ruled for 55 years and he journeyed on, but here's the hope. Even though22:39 he fulfilled his daily quota of human depravity, at the end of his life, he cried out and repented to God. And so maybe there's some men in this room that if you look from the moment you were born, to the moment you22:50 became a dad, or the moment you became a man up until now, you have been filled with human depravity and sin. There's hope for you. Let today be the day that you repent and turn and move back.23:02 Alright. Let's move to a good king. We wanna get away from him. A guy named Jehu. By the way, he was a good king, wasn't a great dad, but I'll show him to you in second Kings chapter 10 verse 15. It says after he,23:13 Jehu, by the way, Jehu's up in the north, he's 1 of the good kings of the north, left there. He came upon this guy, Jehonadab, son of Rechabah. That's the Rechabites. If you go look23:25 Jeremiah chapter 34 and other places, you say who is Rechabah and who are the Rechabites? They're godly men. They are men that kept the covenant, kept the faith. When all of Israel was going in the wrong direction, they23:37 stayed faithful to the covenant and faithful to the Lord. And so here's what you have. When he came, he came upon Jonadab, son of Rechab, who was in his way to meet him.23:48 Jehu, this is the king, greeted him and said, are you in accord with me as I am with you? He's saying, listen, in the midst of this craziness, I'm not a great dad, but I wanna be a good king and I wanna follow God.24:00 And he stops and he asks Rekha, he says, are you in accord with me? In other words, can we go in the right direction to raise our children, to lead this nation, to be godly men as examples for our sons and our daughters.24:11 And so we ask him the question, are you with me? Are you against me? Are you for me or not? And notice the response, he says, are you in accord with me as I am with you? And24:23 notice what his response was, I am. If so, said, Jehu, give me your hand. So he did and Jehu helped him up into the chariot. Jehu said, come with me and24:35 see my zeal for the Lord. And then he had him ride along in his chariot. So here's the idea. First king, bad king, repented at the end. You and I can have hope that depart24:47 regardless of where we've been, we can have an impact in our grandparent in years. Here's number 2. Here's a king that tries if you read some of the story, Jehu wasn't a great father, but he was a24:58 good king. But what he did do is he found other godly men to say, get in the chariot with me as I lead our nation, and25:10 as I lead my family. So men, let me encourage you with this, don't go it alone. Search out and seek out good and godly men to say, get in the25:22 chariot with me, because my children, our cities, our nation needs. That's why we always drive you to go to groups. We have men's groups, we have women's groups, we have mixed groups, we have couples groups. Man, I want25:32 to encourage you, Tuesday morning men's Bible study, 6 a. M, come on, my pastor's Bible study. Man, it's just about getting other men in the chariot with you. Now why do they ride in the chariot? Because there's25:44 a battle ahead. And guys, I want you to know when you go into your next battle, you don't want to have to fight that battle alone. You want to have the right men who are beside25:56 you and in your chariot as you fight. Here's another 1, you ready? Here's the uncle, let's go on to Jehoiada, second Kings chapter 11 verse 1. What you have is you have 1 of these crazy things where,26:08 1 king dies and and after he is killed, the mom of that king decides, hey, I see this as an opportunity. I'm gonna kill all my competition. And just like you see in some of the movies or or Shakespeare26:20 novel, that's exactly what you have right here. Alright. So here it is. It says when Athaliah, you might want to just say if you're a hundred and 1 Dalmatians fan Cruella de Vil. Alright. That's what we'll say. The26:30 mother of Azahiah saw that her son, the king, was dead. She proceeded, she saw an opportunity to destroy the whole royal family. But Jehoshaphat, the daughter of the king of26:42 Jeroboam, and the sister of Azahiah, there'll be a test by the way before you get into heaven. You're gonna have to know who all these people are by the way. So you might wanna listen, might wanna tap in all this. I'm26:53 gonna tell you the story. Took Joash, everybody say Joash. Joash, son of Ahaziah stole him away from among the royal princes who were about to be murdered. She put27:04 him in the nurse, with the nurse, hid him along with it. Now notice what they did. So he, Joash was not killed. He remained hidden with his nurse in the temple of the Lord27:16 for 6 years while Athaliah ruled. So listen, Cruella de Vil did end up ruling. She thought she had killed the competition away, but guess what? This uncle27:31 had taken this son, Joash, and brought him into the temple and hid him and trained him and taught him the ways of the Lord27:43 in the temple. You've probably seen some of these diagrams. So here it is, an uncle, not even the biological father. It says Joash is the rightful king. And27:54 Joash is going to be a great king, but he's too young. And so the uncle takes him and he begins to teach him the precepts of the Lord, and he keeps him in the temple for 6 years. Now we don't have time, I won't28:06 read the rest of it, but just go look at open the app, go read the verses. Because after 6 years, here's what the uncle does. The priest, he calls all the men together, the men he knew that served God28:18 and not Cruella De Vil, not the wrong queen, and he says, listen guys, I got a great thing. I've got a secret I need to tell you and it's time. Joash, the28:30 king is alive. He is not dead. And he says, men will make a covenant together, and we're gonna put the right man back on the right throne, and he's gonna lead God's people in the28:42 right way. And so the men who were around the uncle came and they saw Joash, who's now 7 years old, said absolutely, let's crown him. And so they crown him right there. And then they28:53 gathered him together and they go out and they present Joash as this little bitty king. And here's what it says, the uncle and all the men swore to protect him.29:08 You say, pastor, how does that apply today? We have a culture that wants to kill our kids. Satan wants to lead your kids away and my kids away.29:20 Whether you're a biological dad or not, whether you're an uncle or someone else, a stepdad, do everything you can to protect your kids. And notice where they took him to protect him and raise him up? Into the29:32 temple. Man, I want to encourage you, church won't fix everything, but it'll sure help a lot. And I want you to know, if you just have a child or if you have a teenager, man, get them to God's house. Find somebody that29:44 will come along. It may not be the uncle, it might be our student ministry. Might be the children's ministry that are teaching alongside our kids to raise them up. And guess what? Notice what he didn't do. He didn't29:54 throw a 2 year old Joash out to the wolves. He waited until he grew up. He gathered the right army around him and then he presented the king and put the crown on his head and it says Cruella de Vil hated it and30:06 tried to kill him. See, she didn't stop her hatred. She didn't step back and say, oh, we get it. She ultimately wanted to destroy him, but didn't. Why?30:18 Because an uncle cared enough to make sure this child got into God's house. So men, women, moms, dads, I want to encourage you, surround yourself with people who will get in30:30 your chariot and fight your battles with you. Get yourself some good friends, men. Beyond that, whatever you do, find yourself some children, some sons or some daughters that you can help raise up, that you can teach30:42 God's word, that you can move them in the right way. Why? Because good fathers, godly fathers absolutely make a difference. So, how can we be a good dad? Here's what we're30:54 gonna close with real quick. Number 1, good father always does 5 things as best they can. First of all, they know God and teaches his children. A good father knows God and teaches his31:06 children about the faith. Men, I want to encourage them. Man, you say, I don't know what to teach them. Well, let's start learning. Let's start developing. Get yourself in a Bible study. Start learning something. Listen31:18 to some podcast. Grow it up and begin to talk about it. Proverbs 22 says, man, train up a child in the way they should go when they are old. When they are old, they will not not depart from it. A lot of people think31:28 that's a promise. I want you to know it's a proverb. There's a difference. See, a lot of people say, well, I'm gonna bring my kids to church and they're gonna turn out fine. It's a proverb. The idea of train them up,31:40 point them in the right direction, surround them with godly people, make sure they have God's word and then someday you're gonna have to send them off. Let's say they go the wrong way, they become a prodigal.31:52 The proverb is, is that somewhere down the road, it's not always a promise but it is a proverb, most of the time they will come back. Most of the time they'll come back. Remember the prodigal son, store the prodigal son?32:04 Man, he he he didn't come back day 1. He spent all of his inheritance. He spent everything he had. He had to come to the end of himself. Can you imagine the heart of the father that was32:16 crushed? Because his son that he loved, his son that he raised, he wanted so much more for him, but all of a sudden that son struggled, but wouldn't repent and wouldn't come back. But Proverbs 22 comes32:28 into play. He turned around, came back to his father. So a godly dad, men, we need to know God first. Have you ever accepted Christ as savior and Lord? Man, we need to journey in such a way that we live in such32:40 a way that I am constantly teaching my kids. I'm making sure that I'm getting them to God's house, so not only am I teaching God's kids, others are teaching God's kids. Here's the second thing we want to do. Provide32:52 provide an example that is worth following. Dads, what habit? What things you say, what things do you do? That if all of a33:04 sudden your kids walked up in front of you and in front of others immediately mimicked your behavior. If they said some of the things33:15 that you said or did some of the things that you did all of a sudden in public, would you feel a sense of shame? If so, then go ahead and change that in your own life. That33:27 may we would lead an example and live by example that our kids can follow. Here's number 3, loves a good father, loves and disciplines his children33:40 appropriately. Let me tell you what part of being a dad, is we say there's the rules, here's the playing field. When you step outside this box, there are always33:52 consequences. You say, pastor do I need to do that? Absolutely. But notice I use the word appropriately. I mean we're not looking to go all willy nilly with the discipline, right? But we also need to34:03 understand, let our kids very much know that there are consequences to bad behavior. There are consequences to failure. And why do you do that? Because you want to train them34:15 up in such a way that they know, man there are things that I can do that bring me the most amount of success as possible. And that's where we want to live. And part of that is discipline, and34:27 drive, and move, and and conversations that you have. Here's number 4, best thing you can do, a good man, godly father, honors his wife and the mother of his children.34:41 That's 1 of the best things you can do, is honor your children's mom. Honor your wife. I know we live in an age of blended families,34:54 And I've sadly, over the years and still even seasons now, I've seen, man, some of the worst custody battles I have ever could have imagined. Can I just35:06 encourage you with this, and I know I'm getting into your business and I know I'm ripping some scabs off? For the good of your kids, step back. Begin to honor the father.35:18 Begin to honor the mother, even if they're in these difficult seasons. Why? Because there comes a point in my life and your life where our children matter more than we35:30 do. It does. Finally, number 5, give God a hand on that. Number 5, godly35:41 father, model selfless sacrifice and service to others. Man, when we have a serving opportunity, dad bring your sons or daughters up here. And whether we're packing bags or delivering35:53 this or doing that or serving in VBS, Man, bring your kids up. And, if you'll do those 5 things, you'll be well on your way to being a good dad and not a bad 1. Let's pray.36:05 God, thank you so much for an opportunity just to be real and be honest. God, here at Cottonwood Creek, you know we don't back away from masculinity. We're not gonna cow down to a culture36:18 that wants to feminize all of us, because our children need more. They need us to be who you want us to be. God, every man in this room, including the 1 that is36:29 praying right now, looks back as a father and would love to have a do over. Would love to have a better conversation or a different conversation,36:42 but God, we don't get that opportunity. But I do get today, and tomorrow, and the days ahead. Let us be that kind of church,36:54 and those kind of men, because our children deserve it. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen and amen.In this video 0:00 The Role of Fathers: Kingmakers or Breakers
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