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How to Be Good and Mad, Part 1
November 27, 2025 · 29 min
Is it possible to be “good” AND “mad”? According to scripture there are times when the right thing to do is get angry. Chip persuades us that it's possible to know when anger is the best option.
Series Overcoming Emotions that Destroy November 27, 2025 · 29 min · Overcoming Emotions that Destroy
Is it possible to be “good” AND “mad”? According to scripture there are times when the right thing to do is get angry. Chip persuades us that it's possible to know when anger is the best option. ...more Show the full description Show less Is it possible to be “good” AND “mad”? According to scripture there are times when the right thing to do is get angry. Chip persuades us that it's possible to know when anger is the best option.
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Chip Ingram is an American Christian pastor, author, and teacher. He is the founder, teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry.
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Understanding Anger: A God-Given Emotion 0:01 When you think of anger, do you almost always think it's bad or wrong? Well, I've got news for you. God actually commands us to be good and mad. There's0:13 times when you ought to be angry. Some people listening to my voice right now feel guilty about being angry, and God wants you to know you need to be angry at times for some very specific reasons.0:25 Today, we'll talk about what those are. Stay with me.0:30 Welcome to this edition of Living on the Edge with Chip and Groot. Our mission is to inspire Christians to be genuine followers of Jesus and to empower them to be active disciple makers in our0:42 world. Well, today, we'll begin winding down our series overcoming emotions that destroy as Chip explores what it looks like to successfully live out the verse, be angry, but do not sin.0:54 But quickly, if Chip's teaching has helped you understand this powerful emotion and how to control it, take a minute after this program and share this series with someone in your life who may need to hear it. Now you can1:05 do that from living on the edge dot o r g or wherever you listen to podcasts.1:11 Well, if you have a bible, go1:13 now to Ephesians chapter 4, as we settle in for Chip's message, how to be good and mad.1:20 There are 2 words that rarely go together. In the same sentence or in your experience, the 2 words are good and mad. There's times1:32 where you're good, and there's times where you're mad, but there's very few times where you're both good and mad. And we're gonna talk today about how1:44 to be good and mad. As we bring this whole series, you know, to a conclusion, I wanna move beyond just understanding anger, that it's a red light on the dashboard.1:56 I wanna move beyond you recognizing, oh, anger wears many masks. I'm a spewer. Right? You know? I'm a stuffer or I'm a leaker, And you now know that. I wanna move beyond that.2:08 And I wanna say that anger is a channel that's a God given emotion that actually is to maximize your potential in Christ. And so the2:20 goal of this series isn't simply to help you quit blowing up. It's not simply to help you psychologically get more healthy, although that will happen. Get you to stop stuffing and stop leaking.2:33 Our desire is that you would get such a grasp on this gift of anger, it's an emotion, from God, that it would be a tool, a weapon, and a resource2:45 designed to enable you to respond in a very, very powerful way to evil in a fallen world. And God wants you to be, I'm gonna go out on the2:57 limb, good, and he wants you to be mad. And if you wanna know how, turn in your bibles to Ephesians chapter 4, and you can open your notes, same spot. But3:08 if you have your bibles, I'd like you to open that as well, because I'm gonna do a little bit more than just as in your notes. As you read this classic passage, we've said it, we've referred to it, but I wanna open it3:19 up, dig in, explain it, and apply it. It says, be angry command, and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an3:31 opportunity. And with your bible open and the notes here, I wanna give you a little context here. You know, Ephesians 4 opens up and you have 1, 2, 3 chapters of this is who you3:43 are in Christ. This is what God has done. You have been forgiven. You're his child. You have an inheritance. You've been adopted. His spirit has sealed you. You've been placed in the supernatural community3:55 called the church. You have power. There is a plan. What you are experiencing now is a mystery that angels and prophets long to look into. And chapters 1, 2 and 3 say this is4:07 your new position in Christ. You're precious. You're loved. You're adopted. The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead actually dwells in your physical body, if you've trusted Christ. And after4:19 telling you who you already are, look at your bibles. Look at verse 1 of chapter 4. Therefore, I urge you as a prisoner of the Lord to walk in a manner worthy of his calling. The first 34:30 chapters are what we believe and what we know is true. The last 3 chapters are how we're to behave. How we're to actually live. This is your worth in God's sight. Chapters 4, 5 and 6, this is4:42 your walk in God's sight. And an interesting word where it says walk in a manner, the word worthy, we get our English word axis. It's the picture of scales. And4:54 it's like, here's 3 chapters of truth, truth, truth, truth, truth. It's not trying hard, it's not being religious, it's not keeping rules, it's not keeping your nose clean, it's not giving a little money, it's not giving5:04 the United Way. It's a personal relationship with the living God based on the work of Christ and his resurrection. You're a whole new person. And this is what's true of you now. In view of that truth, I want you by5:16 faith to appropriate what you already possess so that your walk and your truth progressively tell the same story. God's agenda for your life is for5:28 you to trust him. That's the number 1 agenda. His goal in every circumstance, in every pain, in every up, in every down, in every anger issue, in every job change,5:40 in every economic downturn, in every blessing, is to help you to learn to believe that he is actually God, that he actually loves you, that his word is true, and that He in5:51 His wisdom and love is orchestrating these events so that you will trust Him. And as you trust Him, He promises to give you everything you need, not to get proud when the6:03 blessing comes, Not to give in when the adversity comes. But as you trust him, he will form the very character of the living Christ in you. So that the Jesus who lives in6:15 you, in the power of the Holy Spirit, would manifest the very life of Christ to other people. That's what Jesus meant when he said, you are the light of the world. He didn't say try to be the light of the world.6:27 You are the light of the world. You are the salt. Jesus didn't say, go try and be my witnesses. He said, you are my witnesses. And so in in chapter 4 verse6:39 1, it opens up and it tells you that. As you would go through and just scan in your bible what you see, it begins relationally in verses 2 and 3. And so it's not so much about activity, it's about a relationship that you6:50 have with God and with other people where it talks about those key attitudes. And then in verses 7 to 10, he reminds you that this was accomplished not by your effort, but what Christ did on the cross and his talks about7:01 his resurrection and what what he did declaring victory over demonic forces. And then in verses 11 through 16, he says, you can never do this on your own. It's impossible. And so he gave the apostles and prophets and7:12 evangelists and pastors and teachers. They equip us regular, ordinary saints, members, new Christians, old Christians, To do what? The work of the ministry so that all of us 1 day will grow up. Look at verse7:24 13 in your bible. To the measure of the fullness of the stature of Christ, that you would actually become progressively like Jesus. And then he says, some of the evidences7:36 of being like Jesus is part is relational and part is doctrinal. No longer tossed here and there by every wind of doctrine and the craftiness of deceitful scheming, but speaking the truth in love, you'll grow7:48 up in all aspects into him who is the head, even Christ. By that which every joint supplies according to the proper working of each individual part that causes the growth of the body of Christ. And it8:00 looks like love. And then in verses 17 to 24, he'll say, there's a process individually you have to go through, and it's hard. You're gonna have to put off the old. You put off the old anger. You put off the old8:11 bitterness. You put off some old habits. You put off the old pornography. You put off the old workaholism. You put off the old pleasing people. You put it off, have your mind renewed, that's what we've done in these8:21 sessions, and then you put on. And by faith you take some very specific steps And then in verses 25 to 32 of chapter 4, he doesn't leave you thinking, well, what should I put on?8:33 He says there's 5 key areas that will develop who you are. And if you look the structure very carefully, beginning in verse 25 through the end of this chapter, he phrases it, put8:45 off, mind renewed, put on. And what he'll do is he'll walk you through a process of honesty. He'll say, don't lie to 1 another anymore. Put on truth. He'll talk here about8:57 anger. Be angry, but don't sin. He'll talk about behaviors. He'll talk about attitudes, and he'll even talk about speech. And so he he literally develops9:09 a going into training to see lived in and out of you and he starts talking about you gotta be honest. You gotta deal with these emotions that sabotage things. No9:21 unwholesome word proceeding out of your mouth. Let all bitterness and wrath get away. He who steals, don't steal any more until you start to work. And he gives us 5 very specific areas that as9:32 you put them on, you begin to grow and become more and more like Christ. And then chapter 5 begins to open up and talks about the tension there is, and the need for love, and how we're tempted to try and fulfill it with9:44 sex because it's pseudo intimacy. And then he'll tell us that, no, really, you need to be filled with the spirit. And in this new walk, by being filled with the spirit, the way it works out is first in those most9:54 intimate relationships with him, and then your marriage, and then with children, and then your work. And then in chapter 6, we'll end and say, and all this happens at a hostile environment that's filled with10:05 spiritual warfare and demonic forces trying to take you out. I went through that for 1 reason. I do not want you to leave this series going, okay, overcoming emotions of the story. I have some anger issues. I10:17 think I wear the stuffer mask. No, I wear the leaker mask. I'm a spewer. I know I need to change. This will really help me become more psychologically healthy. I think this will improve all my relationships. I'm gonna be10:27 a much nicer person. I'm so glad I went. That's not the purpose. Those are all the side benefits.10:37 You're listening to Living on the Edge. And before we continue today's program, let me ask you. Is anger devastating your relationships with your family, spouse, or coworkers? Join us after Chip's10:48 message to learn more about our valuable small group resource for this series. Stick around to discover how to confront this powerful emotion and harness it for good. But for now, here again is Chip to11:00 continue today's message.11:03 God gave you this gift, this tool, this weapon of anger that can be used for evil or for good to transform your life to make11:15 you like Christ. That's what's at stake. That's what's at stake. It's not about getting along with your mate. It's not about stopping offending people. That11:27 is what the context of this passage is. And and let me give you just a a quick little overview, and I I need to probably stay at least close to the notes. The command is God express commands11:39 us to express our anger. Right? Be angry. Notice second, God commands us to express our anger appropriately. So be angry, but don't sin.11:50 So don't it's a sin to stuff it and not deal with issues. It's a sin to leak it. It's a sin to put on a mask and blow up on people. So he12:02 says, you're to be angry. It's a powerful weapon and tool, but it's like a shovel. You can use it to dig and make progress or bang people over the head. He says, don't bang people over the head. Use it as a tool12:14 to dig and see what God's doing and even be a resource of motivation. So we've looked at 3 ways that we express anger. I wanna give you a fourth 1. And then I wanna talk12:26 about how to do some very deep repair. We said we express our anger by spewing, 1. We said we express it by stuffing, 2. We said we express it12:38 by leaking, 3, passive aggressiveness. I'd like to suggest that the bible gives us a fourth, indignation. It's not in this text, but it's just a little wanna indignation.12:50 Write down, if you would, 3 passages. You can check them out later. Mark chapter 3, Matthew chapter 23, and Mark chapter 11.13:02 Each 1 of these is the life of Christ. And it is a powerful, powerful picture of how God wants to use anger. In Mark13:14 chapter 3, he's in a synagogue. And he's being attacked, and he's done some healing on the Sabbath. He's done some things on the Sabbath. And people are so narrow, this is what religion does, we get so narrow, all we can13:25 see is the means and we forget the end. And so there's a fellow there that needs to be healed, and they're waiting. Is he gonna heal him today, so we can catch him? Like, can you imagine thinking, wow, This13:37 guy is gonna miraculously heal and restore someone's life, and all they can focus on is what day he's gonna do it, so they can whack him? I mean, that sounds really crazy until we look at some of the stuff13:49 we do. But I want you to notice a word there. As they were preparing and to catch him, and Jesus says, knowing their hearts, he was14:01 angry. Jesus was angry with the hardness of their heart. He was angry that their religion and their control and their traditions had nullified the truth of14:13 God. And after it says he is angry, he says to the man, come on up here. We're gonna get this done today. In Matthew 23, so we have he's visibly angry. In Matthew 23, we have a,14:25 a picture of him being extremely frustrated, and he talks to the religious leaders. And he's built his case and he's lived the life and he's done the miracles and he's given the Sermon on the Mount. And finally these14:37 blind guides that are leading all these people astray, he just rips it out. You brood of vipers, you blind guides, you white washed tombs. By the way, that's how he preached it.14:49 Sometimes we read the bible like, you know, Jesus meek and mild, picture in the Sunday school. Jesus, here he is against these, you blind guides, you vipers,15:02 You terrible, terrible peep He was mad. He had people telling people this is the way of life and leading them to the15:14 way of death. And I want you to know, yeah, you can spew, you can stuff, you can leak. God wants you to get indignation about injustice and about people that are hurting and things15:26 that are wrong and be willing to stand up and take the flack. There's a reason they crucified him. It was for speeches like this. And then finally, he didn't just have visible anger, he just15:38 didn't have frustration and verbal anger. If you go to Mark 11, he has physical anger. And he walks into his father's house and I think he just I've just had it. It was righteous.15:50 I've had it. I can't take it anymore. Get out of here. And I mean, he began to turn over the tables and kick people out. And that's a Jesus that we're not real comfortable with.16:03 But that's the Jesus that lives in you. But if you believe that anger is wrong, you'll never get indignation. That's why we looked at the passage. What's Ephesians 4 2616:15 say? It's a command. Command, be angry. Question, are you angry? And are you angry with the right stuff? Okay, in your anger, it's powerful, you gotta be careful. Don't sin.16:27 And we'll talk about that. I, wanna show you the power of this little excerpt as we were thinking about how to help people grab this. In 19 80, a loving mother got16:38 angry. Someone had too much to drink. He'd been on a 3 day binge, veered off a neighborhood road and struck a 13 year old girl. The life of this mother's young teenager was instantly snuffed16:50 out. The mother, Candace Lightner, was devastated, ripped open by grief. But after her grief, she got mad. She got really17:02 mad. She did research and found out that there were more deaths every single year in alcohol related accidents in America than all the young men that were ever killed in Vietnam.17:14 She was enraged. She decided immediately to start mad. Capital m, capital a, capital d, capital d. Mothers against drunk drivers.17:26 It may have started small, but now there's chapters all over the United States. The organization has lobbied hard and laws have been changed largely due to the efforts of MADD. Thousands of lives have been17:38 saved, all because a heartbroken, angry woman let her anger be known. Candace Lightner didn't seek revenge against the drunk driver who killed her daughter.17:50 She didn't lash out, destroy property or people, Nor did she remain in her grief, stuffing the anger down deep inside. She didn't self destruct, instead she18:02 expressed her anger. She got it out appropriately in ways that were constructive rather than destructive. And that's what we're commanded to do. Can I just ask you,18:14 just I'm not gonna ask you to go, you know, start an organization or but can I just ask you to think about what is it that's kinda gone on in the world, but more in18:26 your world, that it's just wrong? You know what I mean? It's just wrong. I mean, it's just just and and you know what? Sometimes we think, Well, I can't do18:37 everything. Of course you can't do everything. I don't think God wants you to do everything. And if I watched the news and saw everything that was wrong, I get depressed. I really limit how much time I can watch the18:48 news. The names change, it's all the same junk. And now with all the cable stations, they tell me way more information than I need to know to put in my head because they're all competing for sensational stuff. But18:59 there's certain things that really bug me. They make me angry. And for some, it's the plight of unwed moms and for others it's alcoholics, for others it's people. We've got a brother here that, I'll tell you, I'll tell19:11 you, he's passionate about people getting off of heroin.19:13 What19:16 bugs you? What makes you mad? And praise God, I suppose, I'm not sure, for talk radio. But I think we've substituted talking about what ought to19:28 happen and expressing our anger for doing something. This is terrible. Could you hear this? Now here's this. Now it's this. This is a terrible thing. This happened. Are you aware of? Well, do something. Just shut19:39 up and do something in your area. And so I would just encourage you to say, God, what is it that I can't let go? Don't manufacture19:51 something, but get your heart open. Part of this too is we've been brainwashed for about 30 or 40 years. It's very subtle that basically the whole Christian life is about you being happy and you being well adjusted, and20:03 Jesus is gonna take care of you. And if you really do things God's way, your marriages are gonna be great, and your kids turn out right, and you could be financially mobile, and they'll get better education than you, and20:12 and you know, the whole world's gonna get better someday, someway, and that's a bunch of garbage. To every person who longs to live for Jesus Christ, you will be persecuted. Consider it all joy when you encounter various20:24 trials. Now, you know what? The fact is, God, in his great grace, when you walk with him, it really does give you a lot better marriage. And when you create an environment, a lot of your kids will walk with God. That's20:34 not the goal. We've we've made all the benefits the goal. The goal is, you're on this little planet for a small amount of time to what? Reflect Christ, make him known, see people come to20:45 know him, see them mature, and model this. And what happens is now we take all these verses and we rearrange them, and then we get really mad at God when pain comes into our life, and cancer comes into our life, and20:57 difficulty comes into our life. And and, you know, it rains on the just and the unjust. I don't know about you, but I have a lot of friends that have lost 30 or 40 percent of their net income, just like all the21:06 unbelievers. Now it's an opportunity to show them, so how do Christians respond to that? So I'm not against, I mean, I'm all for all the great benefits of God, but I think we've so subtly, so21:18 subtly, we don't get mad because the real issue that we're concerned about is how does our life work out? You know, I hear people say, it's not about me, it's not about me, it's about God. Okay,21:30 let's start living that 1. Let's start acting like, oh, with my money, it's not about me. With my time, it's not about me. Oh. With my energy, it's not about me. And the thing is,21:42 when that's your focus and you give, then you have this counterintuitive thing where God does give. And that's not just money. The passage, by the way, Luke 6 38 is not a financial passage. He says, give and it'll be21:53 given unto you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, back into your lap. But it's about giving your life away, your time away, your energy your way, your gifts away to do it. To do the will of God.22:06 Not to get God to do the will of you. And see, that's the subtle thing that's happened. And so part of being angry is we we the temptation is to go all the way through this and it become 1 more little self22:17 help thing. I'm really glad I'm doing better on my anger. And I just wanna say, I think God wants to use your anger to get some really great stuff done. And22:29 you know what? You don't have to start an organization that's nationwide. What would happen if you got angry about some junk in your church, in your community, at your work? And, you know, and and, you know, it doesn't22:40 mean you get on a soapbox and act like an idiot and say thank you're winsome, loving, pure, kind, and tenacious. And you do the right thing. And by the22:52 way, there's consequences. I mean, that's the other thing. We somehow get this idea that we're gonna do life God's way and sort of skip through it. There'll be pain. But what what what do we do with all those verses like23:04 this present suffering is not to be compared with the glorious? Right? So where did we start learning that the goal of life is to be comfortable and never experience pain? Now by the way, I23:16 don't like pain any more than you do and I'm not gonna jump into it willfully. There's enough real good pain when you do the will of God. But the apostle Paul in his life, he had this weird view like, I wanna know the23:26 fellowship of his suffering. It's in the pain and in the need that actually a lot of the becoming like Christ occurs. So all I wanted to do is is give you a picture of23:38 maybe anger as more than just helping you in your life, in your personal world.23:49 This is Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and you've been listening to part 1 of Chip's message, how to be good and mad, from our series overcoming emotions that destroy. Chip will be back shortly to share24:01 some helpful application for us to think about. Have you ever been told you have an anger problem? Has your temper damaged or ruined a meaningful relationship? Are the frustrations of daily life weighing24:13 you down? Well, let's be honest. Everyone struggles to control this powerful emotion at times. In this series, Chip reveals the common ways anger manifests and shares practical24:24 biblical solutions to rein it in before it destroys you and your most treasured relationships. Don't miss how to be, as Jesus said, angry without sinning. Well, Chip's back in studio with24:36 me now. And Chip, you know, this series really speaks to all of us because, you know, no one's exempt from losing their temper or becoming angry, but some of us handle it better than others. So what would you say to that24:47 person who's concerned about their anger but hasn't had the courage to call it what it really is?24:53 Well, Dave, the problem with anger is that most of us try and hide it. I mean, we have been brainwashed into thinking that anger is bad, anger is a sin,25:05 and we've experienced unrighteous anger toward us that has caused us to say, I don't wanna go there, and I feel bad when I do go there. So we mask it with things like, well, I'm just really frustrated right now,25:17 or we have some spiritual language, or we blame other people. There's very few people that you'll hear say, you know what? I'm really angry right now, and I wonder what that means, and what is God25:29 saying to me, and how do I deal with it? The power is in getting these things on the table in a safe environment. Anger destroys your relationship with God. Anger cuts you off from25:41 people. Anger causes you to stuff stuff, and the high percentage of people that are depressed, are around unresolved anger issues. And so we've put this in the format of a book, but the format that25:52 has been most powerful is in a small group, Dave. I actually lead this small group. We have a study guide where people can follow along and then process some issues, and then in a safe environment, we have26:04 just heard amazing feedback of people actually seeing that anger is something God uses to change them instead of something that cuts them off from God and others. So I really encourage people to get on the26:16 journey with us, and let us help you overcome emotions that destroy.26:21 Thanks, Chip. Well, to get your hands on this valuable resource, visit living on the edge dot org. Dig into this study with a group of friends and uncover how anger may be impacting you and what you can do to26:33 harness it to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. Get your hands on the overcoming emotions that destroy small group today by going to living on the edge dot org or by26:44 calling triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3. Atlas Nurse Tap special offers. Well, here again is Chip to share a final word.26:54 As we close today's program, I'm gonna speak to 2 audiences. Audience number 1 is a group of people that have felt guilty your whole life every time you get mad, and so you stuff it, and you've got real issues27:06 because of that. I want you to know, I want you to hear from God, there are times to get angry. Injustice, indignation, children abused, people doing wrong things, people27:18 who attack other people. And when they do it to someone you love, you get angry, and then you feel guilty. I want you to know you need to work through that. God doesn't want you to feel guilty. In fact,27:30 he will often use that to spur you on to make a difference. The second group I wanna talk to is people who, as I was talking, some things went through your mind like, you know something? There's some issues in our city27:41 and it's bugged me. There's some issues in our company, it's bugged me. You know what? There's some discrepancies in our church that really bug me, and they make me angry, but I feel guilty and bad about it, but I27:51 haven't done anything about it. Your anger is the light God is putting on the dashboard of your heart to say, flashing light. Do something about it. Correct the injustice. Make a difference.28:03 Step into the community. Here's his word to you. Act on it. Pray about it. Bounce it off someone you trust, but act on it. Be an instrument of righteousness28:15 in a fallen world. Be good and mad.28:19 Great advice, Chip. Thanks. As we wrap up, I wanna thank those of you who make this program possible through your generous financial support. Your gifts help us create programs, purchase airtime, and28:30 develop additional resources to help Christians live like Christians. Now if you've been blessed by the ministry of Living on the Edge, would you consider sending a gift today? You can do that by visiting living on the28:42 edge dot org or by calling triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3. Again, that's triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3, or visit living on28:54 the edge dot o r g. App listeners tap donate, and please know how much we appreciate your support. We'll listen to next time as Chip wraps up his series, Overcoming Emotions That Destroy.29:06 Until then, this is Dave Drewy saying thanks for joining us for this edition of Living on the Edge.In this video 0:00 Understanding Anger: A God-Given Emotion
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