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Teach Them to Live Grace Filled Lives, Part 2
December 22, 2025 · 26 min
The entire Christian life is grace. Are your kids receiving grace when they fail? Chip unpacks 4 simple ways to begin to teach your children that failure is never final & grace is always available.
Series Leaving a Legacy that Lasts Forever December 22, 2025 · 26 min · Leaving a Legacy that Lasts Forever
The entire Christian life is grace. Are your kids receiving grace when they fail? Chip unpacks 4 simple ways to begin to teach your children that failure is never final & grace is always available. ...more Show the full description Show less The entire Christian life is grace. Are your kids receiving grace when they fail? Chip unpacks 4 simple ways to begin to teach your children that failure is never final & grace is always available.
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Chip Ingram is an American Christian pastor, author, and teacher. He is the founder, teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry.
618K followers
Embracing Grace: Overcoming Guilt and Learning from Biblical Failures 0:01 Today on Living on the Edge0:03 with Chip Ingram The entire Christian life is grace. Here's my question. Are you experiencing that grace today? Or are you consumed with guilt and shame and failure? I'm here0:15 to tell you on the basis of scripture, you don't have to live that way anymore. You don't. Today, I'll share 3 specific ways that you can begin to soak in the love and restoration that your0:27 soul is craving. Stay with me.0:30 In a performance driven world that constantly tells them they're not enough, what's the 1 thing your children and grandchildren need most? Well, it's not more rules, higher standards, or better behavior. It's0:42 grace. True transformative grace. Today, on Living on the Edge, Chipping Room explains why teaching the next generation to live grace filled lives may be the most critical legacy we can pass0:54 on. Through the shocking story of King David's catastrophic failure and his miraculous restoration, we'll discover how to help those you love most. They'll learn to receive God's unconditional1:06 love and extend that same grace to others. Before he starts the message, I'll remind you that Living on the Edge is making headway on the December match. But in order to reach our goal, we're inviting1:18 you to join us. We'll share more details about the match later. But right now, let's begin Chip's message titled, teach them to live grace filled lives.1:27 The transferrable concept we must pass on to our kids and to our grandkids is this, teach them to live grace filled lives. Let me ask you,1:39 how do we pass this radical, radical concept on to those we care about most? I think the first step is for you to write1:51 in your name. In my notes, it says, I, Chip Ingram, choose to believe that with God, my failure is never final. Now let's talk about how do you how do you experience2:03 that? Let me give you 3 specific ways. First, encourage them to meditate on the lives of David and Peter, murderer, adulterer,2:16 and betrayer, who are among God's most beloved and mightily used servants. Did you ever did you ever wonder? I mean, I mean, some2:28 people wonder, is this really God's word? Can you really trust it? Did God really write this? And I got news for you. No man would ever write such a self revealing book and allow the heroes2:40 of the story to be so messed up. This is God's dream team. And and and and we have the audacity to say, well, God could never forgive me. I don't think he could ever use me.2:51 I'm are you kidding? I I remember I had not read the Bible growing up at all. And I remember, you know, probably after a year or so and dealing with all the stuff that, you know, I had to deal with3:03 and just sort of a naive thought. I thought, you know, I've not killed anybody. I I think God could use me. Because so far, the people that are used the most, they've all at least killed someone, I'm3:15 thinking. And how how much worse could it be than that? And, you know, with your, kids, they're gonna fail. Now does it mean that there's not consequences for sin?3:26 Absolutely not. Does it mean you don't discipline? Absolutely not. And part of that is we we gotta tell stories, we gotta tell the stories of Peter more than walking on the water and saying, You are the Christ.3:39 And talk about what goes in a human heart to betray the person who loves you the most. And how did God treat people who blew it that badly? He caused some loving consequences,3:51 and He restored and loved and used them. I mean, some people think, Oh, God could never use me now. I'm thinking, Peter did okay. And I don't think there's a more grievous sin4:03 to God than betraying him. We need to meditate. We need to think about. We need to tell not just the Bible stories where they're heroes, but let's peel back some of the layers4:15 and talk about where they blew it and and and make it into real life, and and talk about that pastor that we all know who fell morally with a little bit different spirit, and4:27 maybe assume that it was a good man in a weak moment. And maybe talk about, you know, in a weak moment, that could be me or that could be you or you when you talk to someone that you're trying to help pass on the things4:38 that matter most. Secondly, help them remove the power of secret. Secret is the key word. And condemnation by practicing repentance, James 4 7 toBreaking Secrets: The Path to Repentance and Healing 4:49 10, and confession, James 5 16, with some mature believers that they can trust. The way the enemy works is this, when you sin, when you blow it big time,5:02 when you make a mistake, when you do something you're ashamed of, what happens is we do exactly what David did. We start to cover it up. We don't want anyone to know. We're embarrassed by it. We don't want the5:12 consequences of it, and we cover it up. And and then a little secret and by the way, I will tell you, it's just what the enemy does is then, all my lands. Some of you, you've lived with stuff for years, some with5:22 decades. And anytime you start to take a step here, a step here, you don't think God's really gonna use you. Don't you remember that hotel yeah. You were young, but remember that hotel room? I mean, just just what5:33 happened if your maid ever found out that it was actually her best friend? And what about when you worked in Remember that time in the service and you were overseas and you know what? And I mean, that starts playing the5:44 tape. And then you just cover that back up and then you push it down. And if the truth were known, probably some depression and physical issues and unresolved conflict has5:55 been brewing for years and years and playing itself out. God says, I have a remedy. When you take, bacteria that is growing, and you take it6:07 out of the darkness, and you bring it into sunlight, you know what happens? It dies. You just bring it to light. And the process of bringing those things into the light are given to us in James6:19 4. It says, therefore, submit to God. You you realize, okay, okay, I submit to you. And then notice that there's an enemy. Resist the devil, and he'll flee from you. You have to say, oh, I'm in Christ. Did6:31 I blow it? Yes. Was it wrong? Yes. Am I ashamed of it? Yes. But I'm gonna now bring, I'm gonna submit to God, I'm gonna resist the devil, I'm gonna quote Romans 8 1, there is no6:43 condemnation for those that are in Christ Jesus. And then I'm going to draw near to God instead of feeling like I don't deserve him and I can't come close, and he promises he's going to draw near to me, then I'm going to6:53 start this process and it'll start with the external things and it says, cleanse your hands you sinners, purify your hearts you double minded. And so I'm gonna, I'm gonna look at the outward things that I've done. And7:03 then I'm gonna look at the motives of the heart, and then I'm gonna allow it to emotionally get down to my gut and to my soul, lament and mourn and weep. I'm gonna, I'm gonna embrace the emotions and the pain and the7:14 grief of what I've done against God. It's a Psalm 51 moment. Against you and you only have I sinned. God, forgive me. Forgive me. I'm sorry. And then notice what7:26 happens. Turn your mourning and your joy to gloom. It's it's a process. And this is describing humbling yourself in the sight of God. And what's the promise? He will7:38 he'll lift you up. But until you come clean, until you get the secret out in the open In fact, later in James 5, until we confess our sins to 1 another, you don't get7:50 healed. Had a man in our church in, California, and, man, it was just like, as a pastor, you meet these guys, and he's just a with it guy. And he was committed, and he was driving about8:01 35 or 40 miles to church. I said, Andy, can't you find something a little closer? He goes, look. I commute 55 minutes to work. God is speaking to me. He's speaking to my kids. He had, like, 4 or 5 kids, and he said, we8:13 are all growing. It's worth the trip. I said, well, I mean, okay. But I mean, I'm just thinking, there's gotta be a church closer for you and etcetera. He said, no. No. And I mean, you know, it's just 1 of those guys8:23 where you met him and, boy, he's growing. He's in the scriptures. And pretty soon, he's involved in ministry. And, you know, you just dream about this as a pastor, these really solid people that can make a huge8:31 difference, and they do. And ministries get built around them and you become friends with them. And then then he said, hey. Can I can I get some time with you? I said, sure. He said, I need to do something. I said, fine.8:41 So we came in my office and grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down, and, you know, he's kinda shaking. I'm going, Andy, what's wrong? He said, the last 4 months, I've been, traveling secretly to another city. And I'm8:53 thinking, oh, man. You know? I said, so what's going on? He said, well, it's been going on for over 30 years. He's in his mid forties. He said, it started when I was 7 years old and9:05 these magazines would come in. I mean, it was like the Sears catalog. And, you know, I was just a kid, but I found the lingerie section, and it was like a magnet. And then I was about 129:17 or 13 and, I don't know accident or what, but my dad kept Playboys in between the mattresses. And I had a steady diet of those. By the time I was in my9:29 late teens, I I kind of moved and progressed to some hardcore stuff. I've never told anyone this. I've been living with this for 30 years. The Internet9:41 has been killing me the last decade. There's stuff and access that he said, it's like a thirsty man that I just I can only go hours without going and logging on the Internet. And the9:53 guilt that I've lived with and the turmoil inside, I can't even explain to anyone. And so I, I heard about, you know, 1 of these, sexual addiction groups, kind of a celebrate recovery type10:05 thing in this church about 65 miles away because I didn't wanna do anything near us. And once a week for the last 4 months, I've been driving there. And I got the secret out in the open. And I I something10:16 broke inside of me. And I wept with other men with the same problem. And I have been clean, now for, not just this 4 months, but, you know,10:28 a pretty good season of time afterwards. I I now I've shared all this with my wife. It was horrendous. But boy, do I have a godly woman. And he said, now, after this season, I feel10:40 like, you know, I don't know about the statistics, but probably 25 to 30 percent of the men in our church are dealing with this in some way. You're doing this series, and I kinda see where you're going, and you're10:52 gonna talk about sexual purity. With your permission, I'd like to tell my story. And I've asked my wife to sit on the front row because I need to apologize to her publicly. Now, don't get11:04 me wrong, I really knew this guy, and I we prayed about it, and I will never forget. I got to a certain point in the message, and rather than giving an illustration, I said, You know, I just want to stop11:16 for a moment. Andy, would you come up? Super respected in the church. He had a little something he'd like to share. And I just came over here. And Andy told his story. And with tears11:28 streaming down his face, he apologized to his wife and his kids. And at the end of that, I said, you know, we need to get secrets out.11:40 Whoever has an issue like this in your life, Andy's going to be here tonight, and we're going to start some shoot it straight, small group sexual addiction for men. We launched 511:52 groups that night. It multiplied after that. I told this story and had people calling me from all over the country, and all I do is I say, Andy, can I have permission? Because he's gifted organizationally. I say, Can I12:03 have permission to just give your name? He's launched now groups all over the country. God has taken his greatest secret and pain and sin,12:15 and not only forgiven him, but restored him, and used the thing that was the worst in his life to become the conduit of grace for others. What's your12:27 secret? What is it in your past? Is there something that you'd never want anyone else to know that needs to come to the surface, that you need to bring to God first and foremost, submit to12:39 him, resist the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands, purify your hearts, mourn, humble yourself, and let him lift you up. And then share that in appropriate place with a safe person who's very mature,12:51 so God could bring healing to you, and then use it as a redeeming powerful ministry to others.13:01 We'll hear more from Chip Ingram's message in just a moment. First, we're inviting you to multiply your year end donation through an exciting match that's active right now. Because of the match, your donation will beLiving Grace-Oriented: Rejecting Performance for True Freedom 13:12 matched dollar for dollar in the month of December.13:15 And when you support this match, you're not funding yesterday's methods. You're investing in a discipleship strategy that actually reaches the smartphone generation right where they13:26 are. Will you give to13:28 the next generation? Double the impact of your gift at living on the edge dot org from a series called leaving a legacy that lasts forever. Again, our bible teacher, Chip13:40 Ingram.13:40 Do you ever hear the apostle Paul when he gets real personal in the New Testament? I'm chief among sinners. And God revealed himself to the apostles and also to me as 1 unworthy. It was13:52 his depth of understanding, of owning his stuff. Of see, grace doesn't mean much. If it's a little word that said, I'm saved by grace. I believe in Jesus. I went to a camp. I raised my hand. I got14:04 baptized. Yippee do. Yippee do. Now I try and be a good moral person. And in my functional Christianity, I realize there's a big blackboard in the sky. Good deeds, bad deeds. When I do do do do do, I feel good good good.14:13 When I bad bad bad bad bad, I feel bad bad bad bad. So I will try really, really hard. I get really exhausted. I have to hide a number of things, and it doesn't feel really good. I know I'm supposed to be a good guy, but14:21 but but but. That that that's American and much of Christianity around the world. It is not supernatural. It is not Christianity. It is performance oriented. It is not grace. Grace produces14:33 powerful life change from the inside out. Third, teach them to refuse to continue living with a performance orientation in their relationship with14:45 God. It is and always will be a grace orientation. Sometimes, when we think about grace, it's still hard to kinda get your arms around.14:57 There's a lot of bible words like that, you know? And, sometimes a word picture gets it. So here's a word picture. Here's what grace is. If in your flesh15:09 and frailty as a human being, you make a mistake and you fall into a 10 foot hole, and you're looking up and it's a 10 foot hole, and there's no way to get out of this thing.15:21 Grace is God will extend an 11 foot rope with knots on it. And you sit on the little chair at the end, and he'll pull you up out of it. But if you happen to be 1 of15:33 those people that makes even a huge mistake, and you drop into a 99 foot hole, and you can barely see the light, and there's no way out of the 10 foot15:45 hole, but this is, there's not even any hope. God will drop a 100 foot rope with knots in it, with a little wooden thing that you can sit on, and he will pull you15:57 up. That's what grace is. It is all that you need. Paul, my grace is sufficient for16:09 you. Grace extends a foot beyond whatever your need is, totally apart from your performance,16:21 totally apart from what you could earn, try hard, get back together. If I'm really good, well, maybe then, all that thinking. And I will just tell you, I think it's a very long journey, especially if you're goal16:32 oriented, fairly strategic, happen to be driven, a little OCD, came from a legalistic background. Can I continue, or you got the idea? Let me give you a couple tools16:44 that might be helpful. 1 for me is I realized, it's so deeply embedded in me, my performance orientation. I feel close to god when I'm doing good. My emotions, I tend not to16:56 feel close to god when I'm doing bad. Left to myself, I will think, well, I'll read I I used to be when I was a young Christian, like, if I missed a day, I'd have to read that many more chapters to kinda get it back17:07 level again. You know? But that mentality, I mean, it's it's so deep in me, and I realized what needed to change was not my behavior, but my thinking. And so I began to take, these are17:18 called desire cards. And I just thought, I'm not gonna try and memorize them. I need to learn to think in a new way. And so I I began to to begin to think of ways that I could begin to think and reorient my17:30 mind around what is true in relationships and with me and with God. And so I desire to communicate unconditional love and acceptance toward my children regardless of their performance. I thought, you know, if I could17:41 learn how to do it with my kids, maybe I'd get it myself. And then I said, I desire to please God and find my worth and security in Him rather than seeking to please people to get their affirmation in ministry. Because17:53 see, what I realized was is, you know, if I had a good sermon and people said, oh, that was really good. Oh, good good good. Oh, that wasn't a very good sermon. Oh, really bad bad bad bad. And I would live like this. So18:02 anybody anybody do that? See, that that's a lack of understanding of grace. And and my point is you can write down what's for you. These these are ones I've been and I just read them over. Put them on the bed stand. Just18:12 read them over. No pressure. I mean, when I first wrote them, I wrote them as goals. Ingram. Right? My goal is to be more grace oriented. Wait a minute, Ingram. A goal is something you can it's a desire. My desire is to18:23 focus on my faithfulness to God rather than my success in ministry. Just read that over. My desire is to enjoy my relationship with Jesus Christ each and every day. I realized18:35 I I was getting, hey, lord. You know what? Aren't you glad I'm on your team? I get a lot done. I mean, I get a lot done. I mean, hey, give me the bow. I'll run it. I get a lot done. And it was like, Chip, lighten up.18:48 I I want you to enjoy me, and I I jotted Psalm 16 11. You have made known to me the path of life. In your presence is fullness of joy, and at your right hand are pleasures forever. To enjoy19:00 God, to not get anything done when you're in his presence always. My desire is to allow my children the freedom to fail, to make our home a pressure free environment. And they will tell you, dad, you really need a19:11 little bit more work on that, but you're not like you used to be. My desire is to have some good fun once or twice a week limiting my work hours to 55 or 60 hours. See, part part of that performance19:23 orientation creates a workaholic. A workaholic works not because he needs to work, he works because he's filling up the holes in his heart to say I'm really okay. And that's a lack of understanding of grace and my19:35 identity in Christ. So I have to write down, have fun, Chip. Don't feel guilty when you play 9 holes. I mean, don't feel guilty when you sit back and, you know, get a diet coke and and get19:47 some of that sharp cheese. And so it's twist kits you like and put your feet up and watch the Dallas Cowboys and enjoy it. I mean, of course I need to limit the media, but my lens, like there's great movies and19:58 there's times to sit back, relax, enjoy, and it brings this balance. You you you track tracking with me? Final 1 here is my my my desires to worship God for who he is in praise and adoration20:11 at least once every day. I got to the point where when I met with God, it was, okay. Let's get something done here. Who do you want me to pray for?20:23 Another tool along with the cards, I didn't used to do this, but what I found is I lied to myself, and I needed to be reminded of God's grace. And this is a, super duper, like,20:35 5 99, just little, notebook. Whereas I I just try and be more honest. And, I find when I ride it out, it's harder to lie to20:46 myself. And, I just got in the habit of riding out what I really think, and what I really feel, and when I'm really mad, and when I'm really afraid, and20:58 when I'm really hurting. And they often start out yesterday, started poorly, ended well. It seemed like all of life was pressing against me yesterday. I was angry and disturbed and21:10 very frustrated. You know? I mean, for a guy like me, that's like you you don't measure up. I mean, you need to be in control. I mean, you need to have it together. I mean, you21:22 gotta get with the program. And this this tool has helped me just come before God. See, grace always flows downhill. Grace always flows towards humility.21:33 Performance, control, is always rooted in pride. Now, there's responsibility that's healthy. But some of us feel like we gotta be in control and21:45 manage everything and manage outcomes. You can't. And so God's loving grace for some of us, well, he'll just keep overloading you until you can't handle it, so that you come to this amazing discovery.21:57 I can't handle it. And I think God smiles, goes, well, it took a while, but you know, I've known that from day 1. I wanna help you. Oh, really? Yeah.22:09 You can do all things through Christ who gives you strength. So the life message here is you were created to receive grace and give22:21 grace.22:25 He's standing ready with open arms to help us as only God can. You're listening to Living on the Edge with Bible teacher Chip Ingram. We'll hear a closing comment from Chip in just a moment.22:37 This practical 5 part series concludes today. To hear any of Chip's messages from this series or to order the companion resources to facilitate personal study, give us a call at triple 822:49 3 3 3 6 0 0 3, or go to living on the edge dot org. Look for the series called leaving a legacy that lasts forever. Well, Chip, although we've been on23:01 radio for 30 years, we're finding that young listeners don't tune in this way. Instead, they're using new platforms, and they're asking honest, vulnerable questions. You know, it's our role as parents and grandparents23:13 to bolster their confidence in the credibility of the Bible.23:16 Young adults today are asking questions their parents never ask. How do I know Christianity is true with so many other religions? You know, why does the Bible seem to contradict science? Or how can23:28 I trust a God who allows such suffering? These aren't rebellious questions. They're honest questions, and they deserve an honest answer, a thoughtful answer. Living on the edge doesn't shy away from the23:40 hard stuff. You might remember our series, Caring Enough to Confront, where we taught on abortion, politics, the environment, LGBTQ, porn, heterosexual23:52 sin. I mean, if they don't hear God's perspective that is winsome and loving and clear and truthful, how do we expect them to follow him? We have to give answers24:04 with a spirit of kindness and love, but we have to shoot it straight. And by and large, this has not happened across America. This is where God has called living on the edge to step in24:16 and both be kind and winsome, but at the same time, tackle controversial issues in a way that's clear, that's biblical, that's relevant, and speaks to the heart of young people.24:28 When you give to this match, you're helping us get the word of God to a group of people that are in desperate need of truth, but truth that's packaged in a way that24:40 says, I get you. I'm for you. Would you explore this with me? Each time you get to Living on the Edge until December 30 first, your gift is doubled because there's a group of people that say,24:52 I believe that we have to reach the next generation. And if people will give, I will give extra money to double it and double the impact. This is a critical time in our nation. It's a critical time in this25:03 generation. Will you stand with us?25:06 To respond to Chip Ingram right now, call triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3. If you prefer to give online, just go to living on the edge dot org. You know, many in our audience prefer25:18 to send a check-in the mail. Now, you can do that by addressing your envelope to Living on the Edge, P. O. Box 3007, Atlanta, Georgia 3 0 0 2 4. Here's our phone number25:29 again, triple 8 3 3 3 6 0 0 3, or give online at living on the edge dot org. Has the pursuit of prosperity worn you out? I'm Dave25:41 Drewey, urging you to join us when Chip Ingram describes the biblical solution tomorrow on Living on the Edge.In this video 0:00 Embracing Grace: Overcoming Guilt and Learning from Biblical Failures4:40 Breaking Secrets: The Path to Repentance and Healing13:01 Living Grace-Oriented: Rejecting Performance for True Freedom
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