Skip to content Understanding the Wounded Heart: How Prayer Can Heal Past Wounds with Marcus Warner Nov 13 · 56 min ...more
Understanding the Wounded Heart: How Prayer Can Heal Past Wounds with Marcus Warner
November 13, 2025 · 56 min
Explore how unresolved emotions are a call to seek deeper healing and hope through faith.
Series Hope Talks Podcast Videos November 13, 2025 · 56 min · Hope Talks Podcast Videos
Explore how unresolved emotions are a call to seek deeper healing and hope through faith. ...more Show the full description Show less Explore how unresolved emotions are a call to seek deeper healing and hope through faith.
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Hope for the Heart is a worldwide biblical counseling, coaching, and caregiving ministry founded by June Hunt in 1986. We’re passionate about helping people
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Understanding Wounded Hearts and Finding Hope 0:00 When I find that I have behaviors and emotions that I can't resolve and I can't handle, that is an alarm system Yeah. That says, okay. It's time to look under the hood and see what is what are the unresolved wounds in0:11 your life that need to be addressed.0:13 Welcome to Hope Talks. We're your hosts. I'm Haley Scully along with Dustin Anderson, and we wanna give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life because hope means everything.0:30 Dustin, today is a it's a double packed kind of episode for Hope Talks. We have got guest day, which is 1 of our favorite days.0:38 Yep.0:38 But it's also Hope Together conference day.0:41 Yep. We are here recording it live all live. We're recording.0:45 We're recording. Yeah.0:46 Here at the Hope Together conference. It's been a wonderful kickoff last night. You shared Last night, it's been hoping0:52 you would work that in really good.0:53 I don't know what I'm saying. You moment0:55 to yeah. No. It was great last night.0:59 Yeah. So already just been super encouraged. But we're here with Marcus Warner today, the president of Yes.1:04 Here you are.1:05 Oh, hi. We're We're just gonna have a little she's gonna be a little late today. But, yeah, Marcus Warner, president of Deeper Walk International, a ministry that helps people identify and overcome obstacles1:17 to experience a deeper walk with God. Also, a Bible teacher, author of numerous books, just kind of on everything. I was at your booth just leadership, faith, marriage, prayer, spiritual warfare.1:29 Last time that we had you on about a year ago, we talked through spiritual warfare, really enjoyed that conversation Yeah. And then also the cohost of the On the Trail podcast, with your daughter, Stephanie. And1:41 so I noticed just in preparing this, you've been here a number of years at the Hope Together Conference. And I noticed this year, you're I think you led a preconference workshop.1:51 Mhmm.1:52 You have another workshop. Mhmm. And I think you're doing a luncheon Mhmm. On prayer, and I'm hoping to get into some of that1:58 conversation. Busiest man at this.2:00 And then just Sponsoring and being here, like, you are invested in this, and we're so grateful just for your partnership and everything. Yeah.2:08 No. We're all in. This is a great partnership. We love ICCI and Hope for the Heart.2:12 Yeah. So I just wanted to ask upfront just what's been your experience at Hope Together, and could you also tell us just a little bit more about Deepa Walk?2:20 Yeah. You know, it's like Eric knows everybody. Eric Scalise knows everybody. Right? And so we were having a conversation 1 time. He told me about the conference. I think we may have been at the first 1. I didn't even2:30 realize it was the first 1.2:31 0, yeah.2:31 And, it was really interesting because I came and I didn't know anybody. And I said, where do I sit at this dinner? And they said, oh, sit here. And so 10 minutes later, June Hunt comes and sits next to me.2:44 Right? And we end up spending 45 minutes talking about spiritual warfare. She's just asking all these questions about spiritual warfare, and we hit it off. And from that point on, we've been, good friends. It helped to2:55 establish a bond with the ministry, and I've been back ever since.2:59 Yeah. It has been fun. We kind of strategically asked June to sit in places. We're like, that's where because when you get to visit with her and just hear her heart and, like, she says she's such a learner.3:10 Mhmm.3:10 And I love that she is unafraid to go into any topic. And that's 1 of the things I like about your ministry3:16 Yeah.3:17 And just your experiences. You are able to talk about things in such a gracious way that it helps us be able to talk about things that normally we'd maybe be a little bit nervous to to3:28 discuss. So June has that boldness and you do too, and it's it's a blessing.3:32 Yeah. Well, I appreciate it. She actually agreed to do the, forward on my most recent book, breakthrough. So if you find breakthrough, you'll find June Hunt did the forward.3:41 Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. Very cool.3:43 Could you also tell us a little bit more of just, just kind of the training and scope of the resources that you provide at deeper walk? Because there's I know we I saw your booth here, and there's a lot of books, but I3:54 know you have courses and things like that too.3:56 So Yeah. Our, focus is actually on on reaching pastors and discipleship pastors specifically. We wanna help churches do a more effective job of discipling their people to4:08 maturity and find that 1 of the biggest obstacles that gets in the way is heart focused issues and that a lot of churches are ill equipped to help people with these heart level issues. So a key part4:20 of that is that we have a school of ministry that will train people to do the hard tackle the tough stuff. Right? And that is how do you tackle spiritual warfare issues that people have? How do you tackle a4:32 trauma recovery issues that they have? How do you walk alongside people? So we have a school of ministry that certifies people to become prayer ministers who can walk alongside and do effective prayer ministry with4:42 people for healing and for freedom. I like that.4:46 I know you're leading a workshop on, prayer during the conference based on your book, Understanding the Wounded Heart. So I wanted to ask some questions about that. But first, kinda wanted to ask just if you'd be willing4:57 to share another hope story with us because last time you were here, you kinda talked through when you're in seminary, and just some of the the loneliness and finding community there, and that was kind of a moment of5:08 hope for you. So just wanted before we get into the prayer content and and all of that, I just wanted to ask if you'd share another story with me.5:16 Well, let me, just invite you into 1 of the darker chapters of my life because, you know, hope tends to come out of the darkness. That's right. Yeah. Several years ago, we hit a patches of ministry where we're5:27 basically out of money. And I was like, I don't know what's gonna happen. And something about it triggered something in me, and I had something like a snap. And I've had a panic attack like I have never5:39 had in my life. Oh, yeah. And it wouldn't leave. The it's like the anxiety wouldn't leave my body. And so I kept commanding demons to leave, and nothing would get better. And I was like, oh, okay. It's every tool I've5:51 ever learned. What do I gotta do here to make this stop? Within a month, we were back up and solid and and all the rest of it, but something got triggered inside. And it led to this whole journey6:03 of trying to go, or what are the unresolved roots in my life? I'm helping everybody else with their roots. Right? What are the unresolved roots in my life that, I haven't gotten to? And I went on about an 186:15 month journey. And during that time, I actually wrote 3 books Oh, wow. And, did a lot of other ministry, but it was a really special time for me kinda getting6:26 reconnected to God in a way. Because sometimes I think ministry takes on a life of its own. And I've I've heard that it's pretty common for people, especially middle aged men. I'm no longer middle6:38 aged, but it was at the time. To go through this point where they become somewhat self reliant in ministry because when you're young, it's like you pray about everything. God, please help me get through this. I don't6:50 know if I can get through this. And then you become a little more competent. Yeah. And you're like, oh, I can handle this. I can do this. Got it. And you just pray about less stuff. And before you know it, ministry is up6:59 here and and your prayer life and your connection with God is down here. And I just think that there were some holes in my life and the, the anxiety was exposing that. The other thing it did for7:11 me though is it made me a much more compassionate person. I thought I was already compassionate, but I found out, like, I had so much more sensitivity to people who have issues they don't know how to fix and they are7:23 desperate. Mhmm. So the good news is, you know, it did resolve, and I can't say there was any 1 moment that resolved it, but God was gracious. And part of it was he helped us to relocate to a7:35 small community for a short period of time, taking care of a relative who had Alzheimer's. And it gave me just a focus on that 1 thing and a quiet lifestyle and and a chance to7:46 recharge. And, it was all very, very helpful.7:49 Yeah. I think sometimes those slow down moments, they feel like something has gone wrong. Mhmm. But sometimes I have found, like, it it's not that God has taken his hand away, but he is8:01 allowing some of the things that make us lean into him. Mhmm. Like, that's how we get on the other end of it. We're like, okay. I kind of wouldn't trade that. I don't really like it, but I see kind of the blessing in it.8:12 Do you think, Marcus, that with enough and I don't mean this to be a loaded question. I just wonder your thought on this. With enough, like, prayer and8:24 realignment and like, is everything fixable in that way? That's my question.8:30 That's a good question. That's a loaded question. Yeah. Because sometimes the things we want to be fixed are not the fixable things. Mhmm. And so because but what God wants to fix is the connection8:42 between us and him8:44 Yeah.8:44 That gets us through that thing.8:45 Yeah. That's good.8:46 And so that's something because some people misunderstand that. That means, okay, Every problem I have, I should be able to make go away if I just handle it right. And that's not the case.8:57 Right. There are8:57 some things you can't fix, but God says, I'll go through it with you. And a lot usually, what we're having to fix is our connection with God that gets us through that thing.9:07 Yeah. It's a heart fix Yeah. Sometimes. I think that's so good because so many times our expectations are sometimes it's even taught. Like, if you just pray right, if you just confess your sins right, if you just9:19 have the right perspective of this, then somehow we have a power to unlock something that really puts us in a divine seat that we do not have.9:30 It could be, it could be tricky. There's a fine line between giving people practical principles, you know Mhmm. For experiencing breakthroughs9:38 Yeah.9:38 And, and actually saying that everything is fixable. For example, there's some relationships you can't fix. Mhmm. Because it takes 2 people to fix a relationship.9:46 Right.9:47 There's some physical things. If God doesn't heal it, that's not gonna get fixed unless God just steps in and heal it. It's not always up to us, you know, how those things happen.9:56 Yeah. Yeah. I liked what you said, though. I'm sorry. The, like, you did everything you knew to do. Right. You know, I think that that's a good step. Like, do what we know to do. And when you get to those moments and10:08 our heart's still hurting, then, you know, in scripture, a lot of times, it's getting to that quiet place and getting to getting a little bit still and reconnecting with him, that it is a relational10:20 thing that will help fix our heart even if the circumstances For10:23 me, honestly, it took us right back to this understanding of the wounded heart concept. And I realized I had some very early childhood trauma I didn't was that I had just never dealt with. Mhmm. And that was part of what10:34 was getting triggered. And so I found when I got triggered, I felt about 3 years old. I mean, it was, like, really little like, I have no capacity to handle life right now. Mhmm. And so some people10:46 will know what I'm talking about. Some people think I'm nuts. But it's a, it's it's what happens is when there's holes in your maturity because of unresolved things from early on, we will often tend to10:57 revert emotionally in our capacity to the age of the trauma. Mhmm.11:02 Yeah. That's where we feel powerless.11:04 That's where we feel powerless and helpless and all the rest of it. So I may not feel that way in all of my life, but when this thing gets triggered, that's how I feel.11:11 That's such a good perspective when we're looking at others and we're like, how could they be acting that way? Like, they're a grown man. They're a grown woman. I say that a lot on the highway in particular. Like, do you11:22 know, there's a way to do things, but thinking about what's behind that and having a compassion for it. Why did it build your compassion?11:30 Because I knew what it was like to desperately want to feel better and not know how to fix it.11:35 Yeah. Okay. Yeah.11:36 Yeah. Yeah. How was it just kinda navigating? I'm I'm helping so many others. I'm teaching these principles on how to have a breakthrough and and find healing and recovery, but then you have this moment11:48 yourself where, like, you're a little bit at a loss of what to do. I know a lot of times in ministry, we're so focused on, like, pouring into others that we forget about ourselves12:00 sometimes. Like, was it was it a little bit of that, or was it just this kind of moment where it's like, I I just simply don't know how to make sense12:06 to you? It was kinda re for me, it was identifying a pattern. It's actually something I teach, and it's called upside down maturity. And upside down maturity happens when you as a12:18 child have to play the role of parent in your home. Yeah. And so by and large, I didn't have to do that. But when it came to the emotions in the home, I think I felt like I had to do this or12:30 it wasn't gonna take like, my parents were, you know, greatest generation people going through the depression, World War 2, whatever. Dealing with emotions wasn't a strong suit.12:38 Right.12:38 They were wonderful people, but I think that I learned for myself that I had to be the parent when it came to emotions. And so when that happens, you learn to take care of everybody else's emotions and you don't pay any12:50 attention to yours.12:50 Yeah. Yeah.12:51 And so what I realized was it was actually a lifelong pattern that, I had never addressed.12:59 I okay. Yeah. I can relate to that. So I've shared this before, but I grew up child of an alcoholic. And so there was a lot of, like I mean, taking my brother and I taking care of ourselves13:11 as young kids as early as elementary school, like, in terms of just, like, basic logistics of the house, getting ready, going to the grocery store, and stuff like that. But then also, like, I'm I'm just starting to13:23 learn these last few years of just, like, the emotional aspect of that, of, like, taking care of not just the logistics of getting up and getting ready, but handling other people's13:34 emotions as well. And then you forget to, like, manage your own in some sense. So I'm still, like, discovering this now because there's been periods where, like, after the13:46 loss of my father when I was in my, like, late twenties, there was a period where I was, like, really angry all the time, and I wasn't angry about the loss. I wasn't angry at God for any of that.13:58 Like, I had a lot of hope and peace at the at the same time, but there was just this, like, anger I felt, and I didn't know what to do with it. And I and I'm wondering if it's kind of a similar thing of14:10 just, like, there was this stressor that triggered this unresolved stuff before. Yes. And so is it kinda like that?14:19 Exactly what it sounds like. And that is my guess based on your story. Right? You see, you had anger of the fact that as a kid, you should not have been in that role. Mhmm. And so you had to but you couldn't be angry at14:29 the time. You shoved it all down, and it would make sense that that anger would come out because it's a natural emotion to feel. As children, you're not taken care of in the way that you need to be taken care of, and14:40 then you are actually asked to to take on adult responsibilities that you aren't supposed to be asked to take on. It's natural later in life to feel anger about that. It also creates anxiety. So mine was leaning on14:52 the anxiety side of it, and yours was leaning on the anger side of it, but they sound like they have some similar roots. You14:57 know? So what are, like, some other ways? Because this is kinda what I wanted to get into in the book. You talk about kind of unhealed wounds. And for me, there was this period of anger for you as anxiety. Like, how does15:08 like, if we have this wound or trauma from the past, like, how does how can that impact us, like, emotionally, spiritually, in our relationships? Like, what are some different ways that that can affect us maybe15:20 even without knowing it?15:22 So I teach a model that's called WLVS. Right? Wounds, lies, vows, strongholds.15:29 Yeah, I wanted to ask about that.15:30 Okay. So well, what happens is out of wounds, the first thing that wounds affects is what we believe about life. And so the first impact of wounds is I now believe things about15:41 myself I didn't believe before the wound. I believe things about God I didn't believe before the wound.15:46 Okay.15:47 I believe things about maybe men that I didn't believe before the wound or things about, you know, my parents or whoever it is, but I I form beliefs out of my woundedness. And,15:59 most people don't think they're lies. So when you say, oh, you now believe lies. They're like, no, I don't. It's absolutely true because they believe that this is true. The second thing that happens is my flesh gets16:09 activated, and my flesh is like, well, I don't trust God with this anymore because he's proven himself unfaithful. Right. Right? That's what it feels like when I'm wounded is that God has proven himself unfaithful, so16:21 I better take control. Well, that's my flesh. And so now my flesh is gonna make vows about how I'm gonna live. You know, I I'll take care of it from now on. And it tends to drive us into either16:33 becoming passive or aggressive or passive aggressive. Right? Or, you know and so what happens, it gives shape to the way that we handle problems. I heard John Trent years ago talk about 3 brothers. Right? 1, of a16:45 alcoholic father. And 1 of them, the oldest became just an angry fighter, and that was his way of dealing with it. And the middle 1 just became a people pleaser. That was his way of dealing with it. Just always keep dad16:56 happy. Mhmm. And the third 1 just learned to run away and hide. And so for the rest of their lives, they have these patterns now about how they deal with conflict, how they deal with feeling overwhelmed. And 1 1 gets17:08 angry and fights. 1 is just like, I gotta make everybody happy. And 1 says, I'm out of here. I'm not dealing with this. And all that came from the wound. Right? Yeah. So the wound gave lies, the wound created17:20 vows, and then the wound creates strongholds, which are a lot of times the behaviors and emotionals that we develop because of these things that are now dominating our lives. And often they're the alarm17:32 system that lets us know that there is an unresolved wound. And so when I find that I have behaviors and emotions that I can't resolve and I can't handle, that is an alarm system that says, okay. It's17:43 time to look under the hood and see what is what are the unresolved wounds in your life that need to be addressed.17:48 We talk a lot in church and in Christianity about having a transformed life in Christ, and we have all of the words. So may connect some of those dots of the, you know,18:00 dealing with anger, people pleaser, just checking out how does a relationship with Christ change those responses? How can that relationship help to heal that?18:09 So let me, try to illustrate it this way. There are some things that happen immediately at conversion. Mhmm. For example, we are set free from sin at conversion. Right? It's like you have died to sin. Mhmm.18:21 Right? But then it says, now don't let it rule over you anymore. So discipleship is learning how to walk in the freedom that we were given.18:29 Mhmm.18:30 And so the freedom's real. It's given to us, but learning how to live in that freedom is a journey. And what'll happen is that we have moments of breakthrough in that journey, right? Oh, I got freedom from18:42 this thing, but now I got another thing I've gotta get some freedom from and now I get to another thing because I'm learning how to live in that freedom that I was given. So the transformation happens instantly.18:52 Yep.18:53 Living out of the transformation, right, ongoing process as we deal with some of these things.18:58 And then freedom, you mean, is the freedom from being separated from God. Like, we don't we're not paying the penalty for our sin anymore. So we may still have that we're19:08 Mhmm.19:08 We're bent that way, but you're talking about walking out the freedom from not ever being challenged by that or triggered by that anymore, that's what we walk out.19:17 Exactly. If the sin issue has been resolved, it no longer separates us from God.19:21 Amen. Yeah. Okay.19:22 But, does does not mean that sin does not have consequences in other ways.19:27 Right.19:27 And so the eternal consequences been dealt with. Some of those other consequences have been resolved, but there are some practical consequences in our lives that don't get fixed. So, like, if I had committed adultery or19:37 wounded my whole family, that didn't get fixed, you know, because I got saved.19:42 Yeah.19:42 So there are and also the things in my life that led me to that point didn't automatically get fixed. So transformation, you have to think of as there are some things that happen instantly19:54 and then there are things that are a process over time. Yeah. And so my identity changes instantly.20:00 Right.20:01 Right? Learning how to live out of that identity is a lifelong process.20:05 Yeah.20:06 I am born of the spirit instantly.20:08 Mhmm. And20:08 learning how to walk in the spirit is a lifelong process. Yeah. Right? Those sorts sorts of things. So that's that's why it's when it comes to transformation, there's a both end here. And some people experience an20:18 immediate breakthrough right upon conversion to Christ because there is a transformation that happens right then and there, and there's something changes immediately. And they can get discouraged then a year or 2 later20:30 going, well, why isn't everything transformed that way? I thought everything was gonna change. And it's because there's some things that happen instantaneously, in the moment and then the rest of it is this journey that20:40 we're on20:41 Yeah.20:41 Of transformation.20:42 And it's like you said, sometimes we think that, you know, we've been set free of it in a way that now we can grow close to the Lord again, but there's still consequences. Just because you've20:54 been saved doesn't necessarily mean the people that you've hurt or the people around you. Mhmm. So it is that's part of the process relationally to figure out how am I responding here and how can how do I have21:05 opportunity to respond differently?21:07 Right.21:07 Yeah. Yeah. That can be hard. Yeah.21:10 And then there's also that kinda going back to that element of dependence. We're talking with, Shane and Sheila Pitcock, and there's just, like, a moment where, like, he surrendered to the Lord and just all these years21:20 of anger just kinda melted off of him. Mhmm. So I know those things happen, but then kind of as we go in our walk, there's these like, we gain experience and we gain wisdom, and then we kinda we21:32 can sometimes lose this sense of, like, depending on God because it's like I've you know, I can handle this. I've walked through this, and it's okay. And then we forget kind of, like, that dependence. And so what was21:44 what was that like for you just to kind of like, did you feel like you kinda had to relearn a sense of dependence on God, or did it look different from kind of previous years of ministry?21:57 I'm trying to think of best way to answer that. They're they're like, to oversimplify, like left brain elements and right brain elements of the Christian life. Yeah. And some of the left brain elements is that22:09 I know this is true, but as I know it's true in my head, my heart isn't buying it. Mhmm. Right? And so what happens sometimes is that, I could still tell you all22:21 of the things that I knew to be true Yeah. But the wounded place in my heart doesn't buy it. So the rest of my heart might buy it, but the wounded place in my heart doesn't until it gets healed. Because22:33 while it when my heart is wounded, it feels like God has deserted me. God has abandoned me. I can't trust him. That's what feels true.22:41 Yeah.22:42 But only when that part of my heart is getting triggered. Right? There are other areas where I have no trouble trusting him because it's not a wounded part of my heart. Yeah. And that's why finding these things and22:52 dealing with the wounds is so important because the more we resolve these wounds, the greater, the more wholehearted our faith becomes. Too many of us are trying to be wholehearted through23:04 willpower. I'm gonna do it this time. I'm gonna muscle my way through and be I'll finally be wholehearted for God. Not really how it happens.23:11 Right.23:12 Right? It is about finding the parts of our heart that are separated from God. There's parts of our hearts that don't trust him. And then we go, well, why doesn't this part of my heart trust him? And it's I found23:23 majority of the time, it's because there are wounds underneath there that are unresolved.23:27 Yeah. So many times we think that it is it's gotta be harder than that. It's gotta be harder than just trying to connect with the lord in the morning and or evening or afternoon or whenever.23:39 I like the morning, but, or all day long. Well, anyways, let me just keep going. But it's it's like, it's gotta be harder than that. I've gotta do more and do better and be stronger. It23:51 can't be that if I lean into the Lord and experience mercies every morning and practice I know I know for me, it's an internal dialogue. I literally have to stop and make myself think, like, okay.24:03 This is what I'm thinking about me, but this is what god says about me. But why do we think it's so hard?24:10 Well, I think sometimes it is complicated. Look, people often say it's simple, but it doesn't make it easy.24:18 Yeah.24:18 Right? In the same way, there are things about this that are actually very complex, and I'm probably never gonna understand them all. Mhmm.24:26 And24:26 so I I'm glad God understands them all. And at some point, you gotta get to where that's where we're after here is growing our trust that God really is enough. And so but to explain why24:38 it's so hard, right, is it then a wounded place in my heart, I am fear bonded to God. I am not trust bonded to God.24:47 So write that down, somebody.24:49 So that part of Thank you. That part of my heart that's fear bonded to God Mhmm. Can't lean into him Mhmm. Because it doesn't trust him. So the other part of my25:01 heart can lean into him and regularly does. And that's the part of my heart that's gotta lead the way to say, hey, come on. Let's get this part of my heart to to lean in here too. But it can be difficult because I don'tShow more In this video 0:00 Understanding Wounded Hearts and Finding Hope
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