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Since 2000 Every Man Ministries has been activating men worldwide to live out their truest identity in Christ through its discipleship resources, live events, and steaming platform.
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The Divine Blueprint for Family 0:00 Welcome to the men's global livestream. We're in part 2 of a series called Fight for the Fam, and, of course, fam is short for family. And the reason we're calling it Fight for the Fam0:12 is because right now, I don't know if you've noticed, but there is an attack on the family in today's culture. Now, it just looks like culture, but there's an attack on the0:24 husband wife relationship. There's an attack on the father's relationship to the kids. There's a messaging that says that women and children are victims of an oppressive family0:35 structure, and what we need to know is is that family is not man's idea. Family is God's idea. The Bible uses family terms to describe0:47 our connection with and our relationship with and the interactions with God himself. God is our father. We're his children. Jesus is our brother. The church is the family0:59 of God. Jesus says that we're born into God's family, that we are are birthed into a new family. I mean, all you guys out there with kids, I mean, don't you1:11 remember when your kids were birthed into your family and the excitement of the rest of the family, the mom and dad, or maybe it's kid 2, 3, 4, or 5, where they're coming into a family?1:23 You know, you're bringing somebody in, or maybe you have adopted kids, you know, where the Bible even says that, that we're adopted into God's family. So the family is God's chosen1:35 model for what he wants us to experience, and that's why we wanna fight for the family. Now, I want you to know that in today's culture that you1:47 could perceive the attack on family, and the attack on the the man woman relationship, the attack on husbands and wives, and this this myth that women and children are oppressed1:59 by families. You could misconstrue that as a political, a political move, but it's really not. It's demonic and it's evil. Why? Because family is a creation order. Just like life2:11 is a creation order, marriage is a creation order, family is a creation order, in other words, it's God's idea, evil will attack whatever is a creation2:23 order. Evil attacks life, living people and unborn people. Evil attacks marriage, the connection between a man and a woman. It's been that way since Genesis chapter 3. Evil2:35 will attack family because God chooses families to be the first community of acceptance. And Satan hates God. Satan hates life. Satan2:47 hates healthy relationships. And so that's why we're calling this series Fight for the Fam. And so in part 2, what we're gonna do is we're gonna get God's mind2:59 on the family, and then we're gonna unpack his thinking a little bit. We're gonna we're gonna move in faith, and we're gonna adopt God's thinking. Because the truest thing about anything is what God3:11 says is true. Right? And then we want to advance his thinking today with respect to the family in 3 really practical ways. So let's start, with the Bible, and let's get God's3:23 mind on the family. And we're gonna start in Ephesians chapter 1. We're gonna look at verse 5, which says this. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by3:35 bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. A second scripture we wanna look at is from Matthew3:47 chapter 12 verse 25, and it's Jesus talking about family. He says this, any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. And3:59 then listen to the pictures. A town or family splintered by feuding will fall apart. So there's 2 thoughts about4:10 God's mind on the family, and then there's Jesus' thought on the unity of the family, and I just wanna unpack that a little bit. What is God's mind exactly on the family? Number 1, family is4:22 the the best place for people. Family is the best place for people. Do you notice what God said in Ephesians? He said, God decided to adopt us into his4:34 own family. You see, when God created us, he created us to be a part of a family, but then you think, okay, spiritually, what does God want for us? What's the first thing? He wants the dynamic.4:46 What's the the nature, the culture of interaction that he desires? Well, he wants what's going on in heaven to happen with us. And what kinda, culture and environment is that? It's a4:58 culture of family. Doesn't that make you feel good? You know? That that God that that God wants us to experience, you know, that connection with him as our father. He wants brothers and sisters. He wants that5:10 exchange of spirit, that intimacy, that that safety, that refuge of family. So that's number 1. Family is the best place for people. Remember that. Alright? Number 2,5:22 family is the goal of God. Going back to the verse in Ephesians, it says, this is what he wanted to do. So God's thinking, alright. What's the best for you and I? Alright. I5:34 need them to get into our family. You know, father, son, and holy spirit, you know, they decide, hey, they need to be a part of our family. This is what we want. This is what we want to do. Alright?5:45 Number 3, family is the source of satisfaction for God. I'm gonna say that again. Family is the source of satisfaction for God. It's his source of5:57 satisfaction, father, son, and holy spirit, and all of the heavenly family that's there. And that is his source of satisfaction for you and us. It says, you know, in in the6:09 Ephesians verse, it says, and it gave him great pleasure. What's it? The family. Him adopting us into his own family. This is what he wanted to do, and it, the family, gave him6:21 great pleasure. Alright? And then fourth, family is dependent on unity. Jesus was talking about, hey, you know, where where there's where there's unity6:33 versus division. Alright? So unity solidifies, division fragments, things fall apart. But when things stay whole, when things are not6:45 splintered, alright, they become strong. And Jesus uses family as 1 of those pictures. Now what's the reason for unpacking God's mind exactly on a6:57 family? Well, if that is the way God thinks about family, then we should be thinking about our own families, the way God thinks about us as being a part of his family. We should7:08 be thinking as men of God that family is the absolute best place for people. It should be our goal. If family is God's goal for us in terms of where we're going to grow, where7:20 we're going to experience his creative intention, then we got to think that about our own family, our own marriage, our own kids. God looks to family as his source ofFamily as a Shelter and Learning Center 7:32 pleasure. What's your source of pleasure? Is it your marriage and is it your family? Is it the time with your wife and your kids? You know, I think a lot of you guys out there know exactly what that feels7:44 like. I mean, there's nothing like it. And then there's some of you out there and you're listening to me right now and what I'm saying to you right now is a little bit painful. Because they're splintering and there's7:55 division and instead of the family being a source of satisfaction, it's a source of shame for you or a source of distance. Well, can I just tell you something, brother? It's never8:07 too late. Great things happen when we adopt God's mind on an issue and we seek in faith to apply God's mind on the issue.8:19 And family is dependent on unity. Right? We see that, you know, there's a unifying aspect. So we gotta fight for unity versus splintering. Alright? And8:31 right now, there are forces outside of you. There's forces inside that are being exploited by the world, the flesh, and the devil to get your family divided. And again,8:43 it's just an old strategy with a new face. Now it just comes in the form of cultural movements and political movements that are contextualizing this attack on the family as something8:54 virtuous. Alright? It's not virtuous. It's demonic, and it's evil. So here's the big idea for part 2, and it's this. Write this down. Family expresses9:07 God's core nature. Right? Now, why is that important? Right? Well, if you're gonna understand God, if you're gonna understand how he operates, how he9:19 thinks, how he relishes connection, how he likes relationships, how he enjoys intimacy, alright, versus distance, unity9:31 versus division, fun and laughter and togetherness. You gotta understand that family is an expression of God's core nature.9:43 Now let's look at just a few simple things that that God wants to be happening in our family. You see, because9:55 family is is the way God operates, and now we're gonna look at, okay, well, how does God want my family to operate? I know he's for it. I know it's the best place for people. It's his goal. It's a place of satisfaction.10:06 But how do I work that out in real time? Alright? So let's look at 3 simple things for the rest of our time, and then we're gonna pray some application. And then we're gonna talk about, well, what if I don't have family?10:17 Alright? So God wants my family to be, number 1, a shelter for the storms. I think we can all understand that. Because of sin, and we talked about this last time, because of10:29 sin, all kinds of storms come into our lives. The difficulties come into our lives. Trials come into our lives. Delays come into our lives. Losses,10:42 unexpected things, unpredictable things, things we never expected come into our lives. There are physical storms. Our bodies don't work the way10:53 we expected them to. Doesn't matter if you're a little baby in a NICU or a child with leukemia or you're an adult or you're a grandpa or a grandma. You know, there are11:05 physical storms that we go through as families. And then there's emotional storms. You know, right now, especially, they're spiking anxiety, spiking depression, spiking11:17 fear. Right? There's relational storms. Alright? People people attacking us or conflict between people. There's relational storms. There's mental storms. Right? There's11:29 confusion over purpose and a malaise over what the future is. There's mental storms. There's financial storms. Alright? Some of you right now are in a huge11:41 financial storm. Well, where do you turn? Where are you supposed to turn? Well, you're supposed to turn to your families because families are shelters for the storms11:53 of life, especially, dads, for your kids. Look at what it says in Proverbs 14 26. It says, for whoever fears the Lord has a12:05 secure fortress, and for their children, it will be a refuge. So whoever fears the Lord has a secure fortress. Alright? Maybe12:16 that's you. Maybe you're a follower of Jesus Christ and you know what that means. Like, he's a refuge for you. He's a fortress. He's your rock. He's your anchor. He's your light and your salvation. Knowing the Lord and12:28 being a part of his family strengthens you, but then it strengthens your kids. It says, for their children, it will be a refuge.12:40 You see, home is a shelter. I mean, you ever played board games where the goal of the board game is to get home? You ever played remember when you were little or you play an outside game where there's a home base12:52 and when you're home, you're safe. Right? Home is a shelter from the storm. That is what your God wants your family to be.13:04 And incidentally, this is why in Malachi 2 16, God says, I hate divorce. Because divorce takes a13:16 place of shelter and a place of refuge and it turns it into a place of storm and a place of conflict. That's why God13:28 hates divorce, especially for children. And so I don't I don't know who this applies to. I don't know if there are some of you that are even in the process of divorce,13:40 but can I just encourage you to just kinda press the pause button and to seek God and to seek his mind and to go with his heart and do everything you13:52 possibly can for your relationship with him, but also for your relationship with your children? If your home is a place of storm and conflict versus a place of14:03 refuge and safety, it traumatizes children. Why? Because there's no place to turn. And guess who's waiting For children whose homes have been turned from a place of14:15 refuge and safety into a place of storm and conflict, the devil. There's all kinds of other homes, alright, that are not the type of home that you want for your14:27 children. Alright? So God wants your family to be a refuge from the storm. I found a really great picture of this in scripture. Listen to what the Bible says. It says, some of you set sail in big ships.14:39 You put to sea to do business in faraway ports. And then out at sea, you saw God in action, saw his breathtaking ways with the ocean. With a word, he called up the wind14:51 and ocean storm, towering waves. You shot high in the sky, and then the bottom dropped out. And your hearts were stuck in your throats. You spun like a top. You reeled like a drunk.15:03 You didn't know which end was up. Listen to this. Then you called out to God in your desperate condition. He got you out in the nick of time. He quieted down the wind to a15:14 whisper. He put a muzzle on all the big waves, and you were so glad when the storm died down and he led you safely back to harbor.15:27 So thank God for his marvelous love, for his miracle mercy to the children he loves. See that picture where we're in15:39 a storm, we turn to the Lord, the word the the wind and the waves still know the sound of his voice. We call out in desperation. And then he gets us out.15:51 He quiets things down to a whisper. He puts a muzzle on all the big waves. Can't you just feel the relief of that picture? And you know what? We're so grateful16:03 that the storm has died down and he leads us safely into the harbor of being a part of his family. Dads, fathers, grandpas, uncles,16:16 brothers. That is the picture of what God wants your family to be. So let me ask you a question. Is your family a safe harbor? Is your16:27 family a refuge? Or is it is it a source of conflict for your children? You see, life throws us around, but what God models for us as his children16:40 is meant for us as leaders of our families. So that's number 1. What does God want your family to be? God wants your family to be a shelter for the storms. Number16:52 2, God wants your family to be a center for learning. You know, families are so awesome because you can learn how to eat, learn how to relate, learn how to poop,17:06 at least when and where and the exact time, you know, inside a family, without the fear of embarrassment. Right? Families are a place where if it's safe, you17:18 can learn a lot of things, and you can fail, and you can get up, and you can fall, and you can get up. You can make mistakes, and you can get up. And God wants that for your family. Look at what the17:30 Bible says in Ephesians chapter 4 6 verse 4. Says this, says, fathers, don't exasperate your children by coming down hard on them. Take them by the hand17:41 and lead them in the way of the master. You see, families don't need to be a place of exasperation or embarrassment. Right? They need to be a place where it's just here. Hey,17:53 learn it here. Learn it here first. Make your mistakes here first. And it needs to be a place of unconditional acceptance and learning. But you know what exacerbates? Ridicule, it exacerbates18:05 children. Constant criticism or comparison exasperates children, putting them down, not because necessarily18:17 because they've they they've blown it, but that's more about the person putting them down. That exasperates children. Un unrealistic rules, unrealistic standards of performance.18:29 Listen, I I've coached youth sports for all of my kids. Man, you wanna see exasperation coming out in the heart of a child. Just show up on a youth field and watch what's coming out of the mouth of some of the dads.18:41 Hey. Can I just encourage you, dads? Your kids don't need to perform so that you can feel better about yourself. God made them with a creative intention. God put a spark of his18:53 life in them. They're created, in his image. And family needs to be a center for learning, not exasperation, a center, for development, not embarrassment.19:05 So let's talk about just a few things that that that kids should be learning. Everyone should be learning in your family, whether they're young or whether they're teenagers or even when they're adults. Number19:17 1, they should be learning values. Alright? What are values to people? Well, think about what you value. Alright? Values are just the things that matter most, and God19:28 models learning values in the family. In Deuteronomy 6, 1 of the best chapters for dads Hey, dads. Make sure you read Deuteronomy 6 because there's a lot of instruction there for you. But listen to Deuteronomy19:40 6, verses 6 through 8. God says this. Write these commandments, these values that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you, and then19:52 get them inside of your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home, walking on the street. Talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to the time when you fall20:04 into bed at night. Alright? There's 3 things that you see in God wanting us to instill values, 3 secrets to instilling values in your kids. And here's the the biggest20:16 1, own them yourself. You cannot give away to your children what you don't possess yourself. That's the most important thing. You gotta own a20:28 spiritual life. You gotta own some values and convictions and beliefs, listen, that you live out in the open and that you talk about in the open. So that's number 1. You gotta own values20:39 yourself. What are your values? What are the things that matter most to you? Shouldn't be a big list. Should be pretty small. Right? Number 2, I want you to see when the right time is to talk about values.20:51 Alright? The right time to talk about values is all the time, everywhere. When you sit up, when you get up, when they're going to bed, when you're having breakfast, when you're making pancakes, when21:03 you're mowing the lawn. Alright? Anytime is the right time to talk about values. And so, what's the language that should we should be talking about21:15 them? Now this is a really interesting 1 because, you know, well, we can talk about them verbally, but you know what the best language of teaching is? Modeling. Alright? Teaching through modeling21:27 yourself. Alright? If the Bible is a value in your home, then your kids, when they wake up, should see your nose in this book and see you.21:39 If prayer is a value in your home, then they should see you modeling prayer. If going to church and being connected to God's new community of believers and God's family is a value21:51 to you, then they should see you valuing that by making sure everybody is up and loaded into the car and connecting. You see, unintentional, communication22:04 through modeling is the best teaching for kids. There's a lot of dads who are just like, hey, do what I say, but don't do what I do. Hey, that's a myth. Alright? That's just, that's a cop out.22:15 Alright? If anybody ever if you hear anybody say that or if your kids hear you say that, it sounds about as convincing as it seems. Alright? But if you possess the22:27 values that you want your kids to adopt, if you're talking about them all the time and talking about them in unintentional ways where you're just modeling it, now you're cooking chili. Alright? So the family is22:39 a shelter for the storms. It's a center for learning to teach values. It's also a center for learning to teach character. Alright? But I think we have to define what character is. Alright? Character22:51 is the stuff you're made of on the inside. Alright? Character is what you lit what conduct lives out of. Alright? My conduct reflects my character. If23:03 my character is good, my conduct is good. If my character is bad or what fills my insides, right, my moral compass, my spiritual compass, if that doesn't come23:15 from truth and from a relationship with God, then my character is gonna be formed that way, and my conduct is gonna be expressed a certain way. Character is who we really are. Character is what we do and23:26 decide when no one's looking. Character is what happens in the dark. Alright? And the Bible says this about character and where it comes from. Listen to Proverbs chapter 423:38 verses 4 and 5. My father taught me, take my words to heart, follow my commands, and you will live. Get wisdom, develop23:50 good judgment. Don't forget my words or turn away from them. Alright. Do you see the relationship between the father and the son? I mean, the dad's just saying, hey, son. Here here here24:02 it is. This is gonna save you a lot of pain. Here are the secrets of success. And he says, man, get wisdom. Right? Develop judgment. Why?24:13 Because kids don't have those. Right? Because they're kids. Right? They have little little EQ, little experience, little24:25 exposure. And the purpose of a father is to build character into his kids and to speak into them and say, hey, you know what? By24:37 experience, you know, if you wanna do this and get to here, but you don't wanna experience the same things that I have, or if you wanna get there faster, you wanna succeed, here's the secret. And then he says to them,24:48 get wisdom and get good judgment. Alright? And where do you learn those things? You learn them in your home. Alright? That's where they're supposed to be taught. Alright? So God wants24:59 us to our homes to be, a shelter from the storms, a center for learning where we teach values and character. And then third, kids are learning faith. Alright? Just let's boil it down. They25:11 learn how to know and love God. Question. Are your kids learning how to know and love God today? Are your grandchildren25:23 learning how to know and love God? Right? Are you encouraging in your teenagers and even your adult children how to know and love God. That's supposed to happen25:35 in families. And there's a linkage here that the Bible talks about, which is so important. Alright? It talks about that in Isaiah, 38. Listen to what God's word says about the linkage.25:47 It says, only the living can praise you as I do today. Each generation tells of your faithfulness to the next. So what's God saying?25:59 That your family, it's not like this individual self sufficient unit. Alright? There is a linkage and a chain to the next generation.26:11 Listen, guys. And either your family will break that link or your family will reinforce that link. If you're if you're like my family, I'm starting the26:23 link. Alright? And my children are gonna reinforce the link and I'm praying for that every day. See, it's generational. Right? I mean, God26:35 wants you to have a family legacy. And, man, if you're just getting started in the Lord and you're a husband and you're a dad, don't worry about it. Guess what? And your your your fam26:47 guess what? God will reparent you just like he reparented me. God will show you how to love. God will show you how to do the 1 another's in family, love 1 another, serve 1 another, encourage 1 another, speak truth to 126:58 another, support 1 another. God will show you how to do that. But you need to make sure that you're in relationship with God. Right? And then he'll show you how to reinforce that27:09 generational link. It's just not about us, guys. So many times we think we're just units in our own selves, but guess what? Everything we do has a ripple effect. We have a blast zone of influence, and it27:21 reaches into your children, and to your children's children, and into your children's children's children. It's a generational thing. When you read the Bible, you always go back to who was the the27:32 source, right, of that family. And then their sons and a legacy. And then their sons and daughters and then another legacy. And then their sons and daughters and another legacy generation to generation.27:44 So when you know that ahead of time, you're just not sowing into your own family. You're sowing into the next generation of family, which is why we gotta27:56 teach faith that the family is the learning center for values, character, and faith. We gotta teach our kids how to know and love God. Right? Look at what it says in Proverbs 1 7. I love this verse. It says, start with28:08 God. Right? The first step in learning is bowing down to God. Now, let me just say right upfront that I'm not responsible for, and neitherShow more In this video 0:00 The Divine Blueprint for Family7:27 Family as a Shelter and Learning Center28:09 Family as a Ministry and Advocate5:34
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