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Pastor Jeff Schwarzentraub serves as president of Pastor Jeff Ministries, a national and global ministry designed to equip believers and challenge them to take
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The Role of Fathers as Pacesetters 0:01 Alright. Welcome, Brave Church. How you doing today? Everybody good? Man, I was on my way in here yesterday and, had been alerted to0:13 the going the the happenings out at the pro football hall of fame, Canton, Ohio. And, it's not every day that, you're a part of a church where0:25 somebody gets installed into the pro football hall of fame. So shout out to Randy Gradishar from this particular church, Jeff and Kimberly0:37 got to be a part of that and, that's kind of why our Jeff and Kim I have a Jeff and Kimberly at my church, so I gotta remember Jeff and Kimberly when I'm here, but, man, I was watching this, and it was just0:49 like a shout out to Brave Church when Randy got up there, you know, and and, then he happened to talk about Archie Griffin. I believe that's who shared the gospel with him,1:01 but he laid out the 4 spiritual laws that I learned in sharing my faith. He shared with the whole you know, everybody that was watching that on TV and everybody that was in our audience heard the gospel1:13 yesterday through Randy. Wasn't that amazing? Boom. And I remember, I I sent Jeff a text and said, I can tell he was trained at Brave Church, man. He just laid it out1:25 there. So that is awesome. He was Randy was raised in Northeast Ohio. I was raised on the other side of the state, Northwest Ohio, a1:37 big Ohio State fan. I'm a few years younger than Randy. I haven't seen him for about 40 years, so I didn't know he'd gotten a little older. You know? But my first trip to Ohio State was when Archie1:48 Griffin was running back there. But just to hear the the story of how God has formed Randy, that that was so awesome. Then to see Jeff and Kim sitting right there as well and then taking2:00 that in with a number of other brave folks, that was just really, really incredible. So it's I always a joy for me when I get the opportunity to come here and, I've been2:12 keeping up with your family's fortified series. I was here 2 weeks ago, visiting some good friends of ours in Colorado Springs. He's a recently retired2:24 CEO of the Pro Rodeo. And he said, well, let's he knew Jeff. Let's drive up and and hear Jeff today. So I was here for that great message on marriage, that we had 2 weeks ago and then caught2:36 up with Jeff's message to husbands and wives. I I wanna just tell you, I believe Jeff is 1 of the best. Not only is he 1 of the best exporters of the word of God, but his courage2:48 in just taking on, you know, a twisted culture today, but doing it Just straightforward from the Bible with compassion, with love. I just think you got 1 of the best in the country. I'm just telling you3:00 guys. And so, it's just a privilege to be connected to this ministry. I'm excited for how God is using you guys today3:11 in this city and around the world and I count it an incredible privilege whenever I'm invited to share at Brave. But today, I wanna continue this series by talking primarily to men men when it3:23 comes to your role as fathers and what I call, pacesetters in the home. So dads, this is kinda my belated Father's Day, message for you. Moms, it doesn't mean you check out,3:35 but just just understand these lessons are for you as well. But, the homes in our country today are not hurting because moms are checked out.3:47 Wherever you have single homes today, it's usually a mom that's there in the home. And it's the dad that's missing. And dads, this isn't 1 of those where I'm here to heap guilt on you. None of that whatsoever. I'm3:59 gonna coach you today to help you know that you have what it takes to be absolutely the pace setter in your home and to the degree that you've maybe blown that already. So what? Let's start where we are today, and God's4:10 gonna show you how to pick up that role. Okay? That's I'm here to encourage you. But again, you're the pace setter. If if every dad did what I am sharing4:22 today, we would solve most of our societal ills related to the home, because most of those ills are due to kids growing up in fatherless homes. And, even where dads may be4:34 physically present, they're they're checked out emotionally and this type of thing. It's been said that kids love their moms, but they follow their dads. I know that was true in my home. I I love my mom.4:46 I knew I was gonna get a couple of good meals every day. I knew she was gonna take care of the wall. She was doing all those things that moms do. I can tell you though, I didn't really fear her discipline.4:58 Dad was a different story. I love my mom, but it's dad that I followed because he was the 1 that was laying I'm not talking about that cowering fear even though I wish he'd been5:10 a little more emotionally present to me. I read a few years ago that in our penitentiaries around the country, on Mother's Day, when they provide Mother's Day5:22 cards, they can barely keep them in stock. Those will fly out out of our our our prisons. On Father's5:33 Day, you barely see any taken, And it speaks to the father wound in our country today. In Malachi chapter 4 and5:45 verse 6, let's us know that a part of God's plan for healing our land and what I believe is gonna be part of the sign of what happens before the Lord's return. It says in in that healing, he will5:57 turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, but notice who turns first.6:09 It's in the turning of the father's how heart to the children that the children just automatically are drawn to the hearts of their father. And so 1 of the6:21 most awesome gifts a man can receive on planet Earth, is the opportunity to shape and influence the lives of his children. And dads, you've been given that gift. It comes with a built in power and magnetism.6:33 Think of like you have this large magnet that exercises this powerful magnetic draw in its force field. You don't have to pray for that magnetism. You already have it.6:45 Just by virtue of the fact that you're a father, and today I want to encourage you as I said come alongside you as something of a coach to help you steward that influence well. And in this message today, I'm gonna6:57 focus on several strategic lessons that I picked up from my father even when he didn't know I was watching. It's true that more is caught than taught,7:09 and I can only wonder what would have happened if dad had been even a little more intentional with me. My heart would have longed for that, But I still caught these things that I share with you today, and they had7:21 nothing to do with my dad sitting down and trying to teach me these lessons. Rather, they were lessons that shaped my life because of the force field he carried with him as my father.7:33 I wrote this message for a Father's Day a few years ago and then had the privilege of preaching it at his funeral. All of these stories I'm gonna share with you today, I did develop a relationship with7:45 my dad over time where he knew every 1 of these stories and what they had meant in my life. Most of us are familiar with that powerful7:57 parental proverb found in Proverbs 22 6, which says train a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not turn from it. 1 translation8:09 says, start children off on the way they should go. And even when they are old, they will not turn from it. Now fathers, here's what I want you to understand about the power of your magical influence as a8:20 father. Without your ever having to say a word, you are a pacesetter in your home.8:34 That simply means the values that will most likely guide your kids when they are old are the ones they picked up from you when they were young. And I say, wow, what an8:45 awesome responsibility and opportunity. We've always wanted to be powerful men. Well, you've got that power just by virtue of the fact that you're a man and you're a father. So8:57 today, I wanna talk about 4 simple, but powerful principles that spell the word PACE. So if you're a note taker, even if you're not a note taker, you might wanna take these down. I'm known in my you know, I was always9:09 known as I loved acrostics to hang things on. Alright? This 1 spells PACE, p a c e. Here here we go. Alright? Principle number 1. Here's the p.9:20 Practice what you hope to instill. Practice what you hope to instill. As I said, more is always caught than taught, dads. Your walk talks and9:32 your talk talks, but your walk always talks a lot louder than your talk talks. Do I need to say that 1 again? You understand? And so as a powerful pace setter in your9:44 home, practice what you hope to instill in your child because the truth is you will likely instill what you practice. We find this principle in the most famous old9:56 testament passage called the Shema. It's a Hebrew word for hear and it has been the centerpiece of Jewish prayer and worship for centuries.10:09 Deuteronomy 6 4 to 9 says, Shema oh Israel, hear oh Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is 1. Love the Lord your God with all your10:20 heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. So see it's first talking about what's going on in my heart. Love the Lord. Then these commandments that I give you today10:33 are to be, underline it, upon your hearts. Where are they to be first? Up on your hearts, then impress10:45 them. Up on your children. Yes, we can be intentional about this. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you drive your10:56 car down the road or in their day, walk along the road. When you lie down, when you get up, tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the door frames of your houses and your gates.11:08 But what I want you to see is that you can only impress upon your children that which has first made an impression on you such that it flows from the fabric of your own life.11:23 If you try to impress upon your kids what appears to be of no value to you, not only will there be no stick factor in their lives down the road, but you will11:35 likely embittered them. You have only to think of yourself as a child and how your dad did this. If there were these glaring inconsistencies11:47 between what he was doing and what he was expecting of you, it ended up embittering your heart. It's how it happens. As I was raising my11:59 own kids, there were times when they would say or do something that I was not particularly fond of. Like in our in our house, at least growing up, we never said stuff like and I'm pardon me,12:10 but we we never said that sucks. We didn't use that word. And so that wasn't something that we used in my house as I was raising my kids, but they got into junior high or whatever, and they come home12:22 and say, oh, that sucks. And I would stop and say, what did you just say? And they would tell me, and then I would say this, did you learn that word from12:36 me? No. Well, good. I'm glad you said that because I want you to know that. I don't like that word, and that word's not allowed in this house.12:48 Okay? Because I don't like it. We're not gonna talk that way, but if you had told me yes, you did hear me using that word, then I would tell you well, since I don't like it, I'm gonna change so12:59 that you can't use my poor example as an excuse for your poor behavior. That's setting the pace. Do you see?13:11 At my mom and dad's sixtieth anniversary in 2009, My oldest brother, Dave, I was I was 1 of 10. It's a lot of kids. But my13:23 oldest brother, Dave, told of a time when as a 5 or 6 year old boy, he got in trouble for smoking a cigar. He was out on the front lawn, smoking a cigar, and my mom caught him13:35 and and and said, what are you doing? You know, and who taught you to or said it was okay for you to smoke a cigar? And you know what that little boy's response was? Well, I saw dad doing13:48 it, and 60 years later, my dad said this with all of his present, and you know what? That was the last cigar I ever smoked because I was not gonna have 1 of my kids justifying14:00 his smoking his cigar because he saw my poor example. And I said, way to go dad. Amen? See that's pace setting. That's what I'm talking about. Well, let me tell you about several other14:11 values I caught from my father while I was growing up that have shaped my life today because he set the pace for me. 1 was the importance of worship and fellowship at a Christ14:23 centered bible believing church like Brave. I always say that all of us kids in my family, 10 kids had a drug14:35 problem when we were younger. We were drugged to church on Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and Wednesday evening. We were there every time the church door was open. You don't think that took my mom and14:47 my dad a lot to get 10 kids ready every Sunday, Sunday night, Wednesday night? We didn't always like the fact that we14:59 had to go to church, particularly on those Sunday afternoons when we were playing football on the lawn over my cousins or whatever, and it got to be around 5 o'clock, and it was called, hey, time to come home, time to go15:10 to church. And we're like, oh, come on. Do we always have to go to church? But, you know, little by little, that drug problem was wearing off on me, and I I'm telling you what, it was I was only 5 or 6 when I I can tell15:21 you where I was, when it was like the awe of God captured my heart just as a little child, and I knew, man, he is a holy God. Cal, don't mess with15:33 him. Love him, serve him. You know, this type of thing was what my little mind was picking up, and it was my dad that's that took the lead. And so I15:45 say to father, set set the pace in establishing for your family a routine of regular church attendance and worship. If it's just hit and miss for you, like we go 4 or 6 times a year unless we're busy, you know, it will15:57 even it'll be even more hit and miss for your kids because watch this now. I've seen this over and over again. What's of casual value in 1 generation will be of even lesser value16:09 in the next. That's just the way it works. I'm grateful my dad set the pace, and because of that, my faith life has been greatly influenced by regular worship and bible16:20 teaching and fellowship at a local church. In fact, I can't imagine my life today without it. I I I know what my heart would have been like without the regular intake of the word of God.16:34 I'm grateful my dad didn't get bitter over the fact that he in essence had to leave his church for marrying someone who wasn't a Mennonite. Now we I grew up in the evangelical Mennonite church. My dad was in16:46 like this old Mennonite church, so don't get the picture of horse and buggies. Yes. The Amish came from the Mennonites, but, we drove cars and this type of thing. But my16:58 dad was in this very conservative old Mennonite church, and you didn't marry outside the Mennonite church. He ended up falling in love with my mom who was a reformed woman. And my dad was gonna17:10 get kicked out of the church for marrying somebody who was not of the Mennonite faith. He said, he was gonna have to go in front of the church and repent for marrying my mom. He said, I wasn't gonna do it. But rather17:21 than get bitter, he did something better and he moved us to the best church in town that was preaching the gospel and it is there guys that it I mean17:33 that church had the most influence in my life over any other institution, in the first 18 years of my life. It was there at 9 years old. I first understood that I needed a personal17:45 relationship with Jesus and gave my life to him. It was there at 11 years old that I was baptized. It was there at 17 years old in 1 of the most profound experiences of my life. I had an audible17:57 voice, call of God to preach the gospel the rest of my life, and it was at that altar that I surrendered my life to preaching the gospel.18:09 Today, I believe the local church is the hope of the world, and I could tell you that conviction in my life was more caught than taught. And I can only wonder what would have happened in my life had my dad been casual18:20 about his faith or our involvement in a local church. 1 other significant practice in my life today that I caught from my dad was the practice of tithing my income. Giving the first 1018:32 percent of my income to the Lord. I caught that from my dad. In fact, I've got a picture for each 1 of these lessons today, and this first 1 is of if you can just imagine18:44 the old desk in our living room, where my dad would sit down every Sunday morning before we went to church, and I watched him as a little kid write out a check that he18:56 was gonna put in the offering basket that day, and then he would come around and give us each our little quarter, you know, that we would put in the basket in our Sunday school classes, and I call that In fact,19:08 I just saw last week, I was at my nephew's house, and found out that he has that old desk. I didn't tell him, but he's not gonna have that desk for long because there's gonna be a place that it goes for me. I'm telling19:20 you, I think of that desk as an altar of allegiance that signified to me what was of most important in my Dad's life.19:32 And let me ask you guys, see, because I don't ever remember where I was first taught tithing, but I do remember where I first saw it modeled.19:44 And without anybody ever teaching me, think about this. Why would I as a fifth grader, as a sixth grader who now is mowing 4 or 5 lawns for different neighbors in this type of19:56 thing, and then as I seventh grade, began to help dad on the farm with the, you know, with the bailing hay, or bailing straw, making money, a dollar 50 an hour.20:13 Why was it just natural for me to give a tenth of my income? And I never did it reluctantly. I never felt like why do I gotta give some of this20:25 money to God? No, no, no, no. It was just like I get the privilege of of giving this to the Lord and investing it in his kingdom, and and my heart was just always thank you Lord20:37 because you provided all these jobs, and you've given me a way to make money, and it's all yours, and I'm glad that you're my provider. Why was that on my heart without my ever remember having been taught?20:51 And if you ask me about the most profound influence on my own giving habits today, I'd tell you that was seeing my father sitting at the desk. Every Sunday morning writing out his21:03 check as an act of devotion to the Lord. So dads, what's I just ask you, where is that order of allegiance in your life today?21:15 And what does it signify about what you value most? The desk reminds me of this pace setting principle, this pace setting principle. Practice what you hope to instill in your21:27 child because you're most likely to instill what you practice. Okay? So that's principle number 1. Practice what you hope to instill. Here's here's the a. Principle21:38 number 2 is acknowledge your shortcomings. Dads, listen to me. Acknowledge your shortcomings because this I know every 1 of us in here21:50 have some of those, don't we? You're a pace setter and yes, you're gonna blow it once in a while. But can22:02 I encourage you today? You're not alone. Every dad blows it once in a while because the truth is there are no perfect dads except the heavenly father that we're trying to reflect to our22:14 kids. But here's the good news. Your failures and weaknesses and shortcomings will not derail your kids or your influence with your kids if you learn to practice22:25 this powerful pace setting principle that this pace setting principle. Acknowledge your shortcomings, accept responsibility for your mistakes22:37 and your need to change and then ask forgiveness when you've been wrong. Guys, this is the key to keeping22:49 your child's heart open to you. I believe Listen, I'm giving you something very, very powerful right here. I believe it's fundamental and foundational. Colossians23:01 chapter 3 verse 21 says, fathers don't embitter your children or they will become discouraged.23:14 And 1 of the things that will embitter a child's heart faster than virtually anything else is when a dad refuses to acknowledge his own shortcomings and23:26 to ask forgiveness when he has blown it. Your kids know you've blown it. They're just wondering whether you do.23:40 The picture carved in my mind here is of a John Deere tractor in a moment and field with my dad 1 day that forever shaped my heart towards him. Now listen to me. It's the first23:52 time and maybe the only time I ever heard him practice this principle and it forever opened my heart. To24:04 me, it will always be 1 of the special treasures of my relationship with my dad. I would share these things, you know, at Father's Day or at the funeral or tell my brothers about it and their jaws would be on the ground24:12 because they never knew my dad this way. Not they had bad relationship, but we just didn't share affection and show emotion and this and that. But when I would talk about this, they're going, What? That actually24:23 happened? Yes, it happened. And it's a special treasure because of what it did to open my heart to him. And at the same time, it took me to24:35 a deeper level of trust with the Lord. I had just come home from a canoe trip. We would have a youth group canoe trip every summer, and this year, we had it the very beginning of the24:47 summer. And our youth pastor had spoke spoken the whole weekend on how to have a closer relationship with your mom and dad. Now I can't say I had a bad relationship with my24:58 mom and dad. You know, we we only know what's normal. Right? I can only say that I longed for a close relationship. Like I say, there was no affection. There were no words of love. It's kinda25:10 like we always say, well, you know they loved you. I go, yeah. Well, how? We never said it. We didn't do a whole lot to show it. Yeah. But they fed you and they clothed you. Yeah. We do that for25:22 orphans too, don't we? So I'm praying, Lord, I would love to have a closer relationship with my mom and dad, but I don't know whether my mom and dad ever even think about that. Would25:34 you show me and I was pray praying particularly with my dad because what would wound me the most is when he would unload his anger on me while we were working on the farm. I never heard an apology25:46 and not nothing. It was always boom. He would unload. It would wound my heart. It would make me wanna close off. It would embitter me.25:59 And I knew we loved the Lord. I knew we went to church. I knew we heard the gospel. I'm going, I think my dad has a heart in there somewhere that's sensitive to the Lord. Would you please show me that? That26:11 was Sunday late afternoon when we were leaving the canoe trip. Monday morning, I'm up in my bed, my older brother Dan was just a year older than me, and dad comes up. It's early26:23 June. It's been a wet spring, so he's got some late corn to plant. He's under pressure. He grabs us by the feet, shakes us awake, and again we had names for all of our farms and stuff. So he he he gives26:35 us what we're supposed to do. And he said, just come over to the south farm, take my truck down to the Iker place, pick up some corn, bring it to the 66 acres where I'll be planting, and then I'll26:46 give you your next assignment. So we get dressed, get out the door, get on our way to the south farm, and I heard him say that he wanted us to pick up his truck. Well, his truck wasn't there.26:59 Now there was another truck there that belonged to another farmer, but I didn't want we're actually having a debate about, should we take the big farm truck? Should we take Ray's pickup? I don't think we should run off27:08 with his pickup, but that had the fuel on the back of it and everything. So we're actually having this discussion when I see my dad tearing up the drive 80 miles an hour with dust blowing all over the place27:20 and the first thing out of his mouth when he jumped out of that truck was, I told you to take the truck and go. It's exactly what it sounded like.27:34 I said, you told us to take your truck. Oh, the truck right there. Get going. We jumped in the truck, both of us shaking our27:46 heads. My brother talking about the old man. My face is turned away because I don't want him to see the tears. And in my heart,27:57 I'm saying, Lord, this is why I don't wanna care anymore because every time I attempt my open my heart, it just gets hurt again. The day after I28:09 prayed, This is what I get. I don't wanna care anymore. So we drive down to the Iker place.28:21 We get the corn. We bring it back to the 66 acres. He's way down at the other end just turning around planting as he's coming this way.28:33 My brother says, go ask the old man what he wants next. I said, I ain't going out there, you go out there. But because he was a year older, he always prevailed. You can get on out there.28:47 So this just represents me standing there waiting for the tractor. Last place in the world that I wanna be that day. Hat down over my28:58 face, heart hurting. 1 of the most powerful things that ever happened in my life,29:10 and God knew. Cal, I've heard you. Trust me with your dad. My dad pulls up to where I'm standing. Normally, he would just kinda dial29:22 the tractor back and give us the directions over the engine. This time out there in the field, my hat down,29:36 he shut the tractor off. It sounded just like this. And then out of my dad's mouth,29:50 I am so sorry. I jumped all over you today. That was wrong. Will you forgive me? Tear rolling down your face.30:03 Are you kidding me right now? I could hardly talk. I looked up. I said, dad, it's okay,30:15 and I'm telling you on my way out of the field that day, it was like the Lord was going, come on. I've got your dad. Trust me with his heart. You just keep your heart in the right place. I'll tell30:27 you that forever was a a moment that opened my heart to my father. I had the chance to tell him about it numerous times. He said, man, I don't remember that. I said, dad, I'll never forget it. That was for me that30:38 day. Dads, listen to me.30:51 I've had many times as I was raising my own kids that when I would31:03 blow it, it was kinda like the Lord would help me remember the tractor, and his word would be, you know what? You need to go shut the tractor off right now.31:16 You need to go minister into your child's heart and open that heart back up again. I had times where I had to do that even in the middle of the night because I couldn't sleep31:27 until I had made it right. And it just sounds like, here's the 6 words you need. I'm sorry. Will you forgive31:39 me? And I would go further to say, I wanna be a better dad to you, and I'm trying to change this. So will you help me? Will you pray for me? Will you just31:51 know that I'm asking the Lord to work in my heart so that I can be a better dad to you? Swallow your32:03 pride and learn to speak those words as often as you need to. And dads, if there's distance between you and your kids today, speaking those 6 words might be a good place to start.32:14 Maybe maybe some are older and they're estranged and you you feel like, well, they don't wanna hear from me. Well, start taking ownership for what caused the estrangement and just let them know that man, God's speaking32:25 to my heart and I'm sorry for what I do did to wound yours. Some of you can only imagine what that would have done for your heart if32:37 you'd heard those words from your father. You can still choose to forgive him regardless, but it would change the relationship. You can just imagine if he would have acknowledged his wrongdoing, whether he'd own his32:49 responsibility to change, humbly ask your forgiveness. That morning in the field shaped 1 of the most profound parenting practices I've ever learned as the pace setter with your kids acknowledge your33:01 own shortcomings when you blow it. Practice what you hope to still acknowledge your shortcomings principle number 3 here's the C of33:13 pace communicate affection and affirmation. I'm not sure where we learned that once boys are past the age of 4 or 5, they33:25 they stop needing affection and affirmation. But over and over again, I hear similar stories from people in my generation and older of parents who for whatever reason were seriously inhibited in33:36 showing affection and speaking words of affirmation. My dad's generation reflects the sentiments of the husband who said to his wife 1 day, I told you on the day I33:48 married you that I love you and if anything ever changes, I'll let you know. You've known some like that, haven't you? Well, for some34:00 reason, we need those words and those assurances more than just once. At least I did as I was growing up. And I could34:12 never quite figure out why in our family, we seem to be uncomfortable sharing words of affirmation and displaying physical affection to 1 another. All I know is that as hard as I tried to pretend I didn't need it, I34:23 still long for it. And then, 19 77, I head off to Bible college, where during my freshman year, I was overwhelmed by the affection and affirmation of a dorm full of guys, led by a resident advisor who saw through our34:35 tough guy personas, taught us how to give and receive love. Until then guys, I don't think I'd ever hugged a guy in my life and can't say I really wanted to. See that wasn't considered mandolin.34:48 But this guy's impact on all of our lives was profound, and it became normal to give a guy a hug and say, I love you, bro. And I discovered that I enjoyed being regularly affirmed like that.35:01 Right before we were to head home for Christmas break my freshman year, we were having a little time together in the dorm in a time of communion, and we were supposed to share with a couple of guys how we could pray for35:11 each other over the break, and I remember asking a couple of my friends to pray for me that I would have the courage for the first time in my life to tell my dad that I loved him.35:24 I was an 18 year old college student and had no recollection of ever having heard those words from my father or35:36 having spoken those words to him. And I'll never forget the night I broke the ice. We got a nice little Christmas tree here.35:50 We would gather all 10 kids, many of them married at that time, and we had a great we would have great Christmas celebrations. You could feel the love in the room even though we didn't speak it. Those were special,36:01 special moments on Christmas Eve. When we would open our gifts, dad would read the story Christmas story from Luke chapter 2, mom would play some Christmas carols. We would cut up and have the greatest time.36:15 And on this night, a number of my brothers and sisters now married had headed home. It's 12 30 in the morning.36:27 Dad is making his way to the bedroom when it was just off the corner of our living room. And I was there alone, big basketball in my throat,36:39 trying to figure out how I can tell my dad that I love him, but I stopped him that night. Dad? He turned around in the doorway of the bedroom and said, Yeah.36:56 I said, I just wanted you to know. I really love you.37:08 Front of the tree, gave me a big dad hug with a tear rolling down his face that I love you too. And I can only tell you guys that that forever broke the ice37:20 between my mom between my dad and me. My mom had a harder time saying it what my dad did. But from then on, there was never a time that I left my father's house, that he came to a ball game, whatever, that I didn't give37:31 him a big hug and say, love you, dad. Whatever, that I didn't give him a big hug and say, love you, dad. And he would tell me, I say37:43 to you, dad swallow your own basketball and set the pace in communicating affirmation and showing affection. I don't know why, but37:55 guys think about this. Jesus himself, the son of God probably was pretty affirmed in his own life, baptism.38:07 This is my son whom I love. With him, I am well pleased. Even the heavenly father showered that kind of affection and affirmation on the heart38:19 of his own son. I love the way the old King James version says it, Romans 12 and verse 10, be kindly affection 1 to another with brotherly love. And I always say if someone is kindly affection38:31 to you, you tend to know it because they show it. And your kids need to know it, which means you need to show it. And yes, that expression of of love may change in different38:42 ways. You know, when they're teenagers you kinda hit them on the arm or whatever, you know, or whatever. You just there there needs to be affection and there needs to be affirmation.38:54 And I say, Dads, be the pacesetter in your own home, because most of us can think of what the39:06 absence of the of that did in our own hearts. I don't want my kids growing up without that. Right? Communicate affection and affirmation. Here's the final 1. Principle number39:18 4, the e is exemplify faith in Christ. Stand on God's promises, trust the Lord through all the challenges and trials of life. He will be there and he will work things out for you as39:30 you stay faithful to him. Romans 8 28 is a fantastic promise and we know that in all things. I wanna hear you say, all things.39:42 Come on better. All. There you go. You know that word all? I like to tell people, I'm a Greek scholar and that word all comes from a Greek word which literally means all.39:54 In all things, God works for the good of those who love him who've been called according to his purpose. And dads is a pace setter, that means you're gonna have to demonstrate to your kidsShow more In this video 0:00 The Role of Fathers as Pacesetters
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