4224 The Girl Before the To-Do List

4224 The Girl Before the To-Do List

October 23, 2026 · 24 min

There's a girl in the back of your memory who used to laugh a little louder. She stayed up too late because the conversation was that good. She had plans scribbled on napkins, dreams she talked about with her whole body, and a sparkle in her eyes that had nothing to do with anyone else's schedule. The girl before the to-do list, seemingly left behind in the beautiful chaos of raising a family. Because somewhere between the first positive test and the four hundredth permission slip, something quiet happened. Not dramatic. Not sudden. Just a slow, steady shift where everything that made her her got tucked into the bottom drawer to make room for everything everyone else needed. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com #ConfessionsOfAnUpsetMama #CreateYourNow #TodaysParent And nobody told her to do it. She just did — because that's what good moms do, right? They pour out. They show up. They handle it. And eventually, the pouring becomes so automatic that she forgets she was ever full of something that was just hers. Here's the thing no one says out loud: motherhood was never supposed to be a trade-in. It was supposed to be an addition. Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." The purpose God planted inside of you before you ever held a baby is still there. It didn't expire. It didn't get reassigned. It's been waiting under the weight of the laundry, lunches, and love you give to everyone but yourself. And this isn't about guilt. Nobody's pointing a finger here. This is more like a gentle tap on the shoulder from the woman you used to be, saying, Hey. I'm still here. Can we talk? Think about what used to light you up. Not what you do now because it's practical. Not the hobby you picked because it fits between carpool and dinner. What made you come alive before your identity got wrapped up in someone else's milestones? Maybe it was writing. Maybe it was travel. Maybe it was a subject in school that made you feel like you could change the world. Whatever it was — it mattered. And it still does. Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Those plans didn't stop being yours when your kids' plans started filling up the calendar. God is big enough to hold both — your calling and your children. In fact, the two were never meant to compete. Your kids don't need a mother who abandoned herself to raise them. They need a mother who lives so fully and wholly that they learn what it looks like to become who God made them to be. The K.I.S.S. ~ Remember her! So what would it look like to go find her? Not in some dramatic reinvention, but in a quiet, Tuesday-afternoon kind of way? 1. Go back to find her. Pull out a photo of yourself from before you had kids. Not a group shot — one where it's just you. Look at her face. What was she excited about? What was she working toward? What did she dream about becoming? Now write one sentence about what you see in her eyes. Not what she was doing — what she was feeling. Maybe it's something like, She believed anything was possible. Or, She wasn't afraid to want something big. That sentence is the thread. Pull on it gently this week. 2. Name three things that are still yours. Not your kids' activities. Not your spouse's interests. Not the thing you do because someone needed a volunteer. Three things that belong to you — a passion, a skill, a curiosity. Maybe you used to paint. Maybe you've always been fascinated by interior design. Maybe you've got a recipe idea that's been living in the Notes app on your phone for two years. They might be dusty. They might feel silly. But they're still yours. Write them down — pen to paper, not just in your head — because naming something out loud is the first step to giving it oxygen again. 3. Reclaim one this week. Pick one of those three things and give it fifteen minutes. That's it. Fifteen minutes that belong to nobody but you. Read a chapter of that book. Sketch something on the back of an envelope. Play a song you used to love on repeat. Look up that class you've been curious about. It doesn't have to be productive. It doesn't have to lead anywhere. It just has to be yours. Because fifteen minutes of remembering who you are has a way of turning into an hour, and an hour has a way of turning into a life that feels like it fits again. Here's what no one tells you about rediscovering yourself inside of motherhood: your kids are watching. They're learning what it means to be a whole person by watching you try to be one. When you pick up that paintbrush or open that book or sign up for that class, you're not taking something away from them. You're showing them that a woman can love fiercely, serve generously, and still hold onto the fire that makes her who she is. "Motherhood was meant to add to your story — not erase the chapters that came before or the ones here and now." — Kristianne Wargo She's still in there. The girl with the big laugh and the bigger dreams. She didn't leave — she just got quiet. And maybe it's time to remind her that she still matters. Not because the world needs another hustle or another hashtag, but because God didn't make half of you for before kids and the other half for after. He made all of you for all of your life. "Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"   🔔 Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com TAKE A.I.M. ~ Action Ignites Motivation  - This is a complimentary (FREE) coaching call with me. You will discuss your specific situation while gaining tools and strategies to move you forward. (https://form.jotform.com/62988215824163) 🙏  Create Your Now TV on Pray.com (https://pray.com) 🎥  Create Your Now on YouTube (https://youtube.com/createyournow) 🎧 Create Your Now on Spotify, Pandora, and Audible. 🎶  Create Your Now on iHeart Radio (http://www.iheart.com/show/263-Create-Your-Now-Your-Best/) ✍️  YourBestSelfie@CreateYourNow.com  Instagram @CreateYourNow @KristianneWargo Twitter @KristianneWargo @CreateYourNow Facebook www.facebook.com/TheKISSCoach www.facebook.com/CreateYourNow   Cover Art by Jenny Hamson Photo by Canva.com   Music by Mandisa - Overcomer http://www.mandisaofficial.com Song ID: 68209 Song Title: Overcomer Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI) One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -  Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.

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Teacher | Writer | Coach | Author Founder of Create Your Now TV & Daily Podcast Walk daily with you to be who God has called you to become. "Walk with the wise and become wise." ~ Proverbs 13:20