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In this video 0:00 Understanding Differences and Combating Division in Marriage4:34 Keeping the Marriage Candle Burning25:24 Practical Tools for Strengthening Marriage
Understanding Differences and Combating Division in Marriage 0:00 I had 1 of those days. I don't know if you've ever had this. I actually went to bed early, like, about 8, 8 30. I went to bed early so nothing else bad could happen that day. You ever had 1 of those days?0:17 Welcome to Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage. I'm doctor Greg Smalley.0:21 And I'm Erin Smalley. Today, we'll be talking about how the enemy tries to use the differences between you and your spouse to create tension and cause disconnection.0:31 He does, man. He is crafty0:34 Mhmm.0:34 When that happens. Because I, you know, I just think about even when we go, like, to do a marriage event0:40 Mhmm.0:41 And and we're traveling together, you know, let's say someone's watching the kids or, you know, the kids are at home. Just the nutty things that that happen. Like, they never seem to happen when we're0:53 there.0:54 Right. At home0:55 with our kids. It's like when we're gone trying to do ministry, you know, the dishwasher breaks or, you know, the air conditioning goes out or just we've just had crazy1:05 Mhmm.1:05
1:09 But what's so funny is how we respond to it differently. Yeah. Because we are different people. And I know for me, I tend to want to plan a little bit more for the
1:21 kids and kind of step into that place of protection versus you're like, oh, they're good. So when these things happen, we'll just go with it.
1:29 But then we'll make them better.
1:31 Yeah. Ends up becoming an issue between the 2 of us while we're traveling, which is not good when we're gonna teach a marriage event, but we often expect that to happen.
1:41 Yeah. How would you like me to respond? Like, so when I'm like, I'm easygoing Mhmm. Like a rock. So that stuff, you know, I don't really let it rattle me.
1:51 Mhmm. It's
1:51 gonna rattle you. We're just different that way. What's helpful then for how do you want me to respond? Certainly not to say, hey. Relax. Yeah. Calm down.
1:59 Well, typically, this begins to show up before we even leave because I'm the 1 going, okay. Where's Annie gonna be staying?
2:06 Yeah.
2:07 What is she gonna be doing? And you're like, she's fine. She can stay here by herself. I'm like, no. She
2:13 Can I qualify that she's now 18?
2:16 Yes.
2:17 So this isn't like our 5 year old daughter, wherever. Just leave, like, the dog, leave some
2:22 food, whatever. 18, I'm like, she's still in high school. She does better if she has someone with her. She's staying with someone or 1 of our other kids or adult kids are home or she could go stay with them.
2:34 I'm planning. What about the dog? Who's gonna take care of the dog? And you're like, oh, the dog is fine. And
2:40 the dog run. It's it's okay.
2:43 But what would help me is for you to enter in that space with me. I know that you are also carrying the load of the planning for the events, the PowerPoints, the details Travel.
2:55 Travel. Yes. Hotel. All of that. And so I know I could enter into that with you as well. But I
3:02 think get a copy of this from our producer later on.
3:05 I think what would help me is for you to validate. Yeah. This is hard. Yeah. Because I think as moms, it's very hard.
3:11 Yeah.
3:11 It's harder for us to leave kids, I think, than sometimes dads. Not true all the time. But for me specifically Mhmm. It has always been a hard thing for me to leave our kids.
3:22 Yeah.
3:22 But I've done it because I know that we are called to do what we're doing and we do it in moderation, of course. We're not gone all the time. And I think we balance it.
3:31 My prayer.
3:32 We balance it well, but your experience is very different and that's okay. And these differences show up all over the place within a marriage relationship. I was even thinking about a couple I was recently talking
3:44 with, and they were talking about how they connect differently. 1 likes to connect through shared activities. The other likes to connect through deep conversation. And, you know, I asked them 0
3:56 to 10, how connected do you feel right now? 0, no connection. 10, the greatest connection. And the 1 was like, oh, my word. I feel so connected. We've had all these great things going on. And the other was like, meh, I'm
4:07 I'm kind of connected.
4:09 You just hear
4:10 the the deflating.
4:12 Yes. And the how the enemy steps in is like, see, wasn't good enough or see, you don't matter or however that goes. The enemy is all over it.
4:20 Yeah. So I I like that because especially when we're doing something like marriage ministry, he's gonna attack us. But in the simple things, you know, like a date night, what we end up doing, getting a hotbed
4:32 for him attacking us. Well, we'll continue to talk about this throughout the episode. Especially, we wanna help, you know, combat those moments of frustration. So later, we have a littleShow more
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