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How Our Jobs Can Destroy Our Relationships, Part 2
October 26, 2026 · 25 min
Life is full of decisions. The question is how do you know which decision you should make? Chip shares a biblical model of decision making that may help you with that very important choice in front of you.
Series Building Authentic Community October 26, 2026 · 25 min · Building Authentic Community
Life is full of decisions. The question is how do you know which decision you should make? Chip shares a biblical model of decision making that may help you with that very important choice in front of you. ...more Show the full description Show less Life is full of decisions. The question is how do you know which decision you should make? Chip shares a biblical model of decision making that may help you with that very important choice in front of you.
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Chip Ingram is an American Christian pastor, author, and teacher. He is the founder, teaching pastor and CEO of Living on the Edge, an international teaching and discipleship ministry.
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The False Assumptions of Planning Apart from God 0:07 Today0:12 on Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram.0:14 Many of you are going to make a major decision about work. Where are you gonna work? What opportunity you're gonna take? Are you going to change careers? You will make this decision,0:26 and this decision will change the course of your life. Here's the question. How do you know if it's the right decision? How do you make great decisions about0:38 work?0:40 I'm Dave Drewey, and this is living on the Edge with Chip Ingram. Last time Chip told the heartbreaking story of Henry, a man whose bigger job offer pulled his whole family away from everything and everyone0:52 that had been helping them heal. Today, Chip shares 4 clear principles for making wise decisions about work, including 1 lie almost all of us buy without ever realizing it. And if you've1:04 already made a job decision you regret, stay with us because Chip has a word of genuine hope for you. Well, here's Chip picking up in James chapter 4 verse 13 with this message, how our1:16 jobs can destroy our relationships.1:19 And it says, come now, you who say 'Today or tomorrow we shall go to such and such a city, and spend a year there, and engage in business and make a profit.'1:31 You do not even know what will happen tomorrow. And then he asks a question, a big question, and notice he doesn't ask about his job or his work. He says, what is your life? What1:43 is your life? He answers, for you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. See the biblical answer to what is your life is you are a shadow,1:55 you are a vapor. The word for mist here was fog or smoke. It's the idea of fog coming up, it burns off by 10 AM. I mean it's here and it's gone. Your life is transitory.2:07 Your life is short. Your life is unpredictable. Your life is way different than you really think. And out of this, what you see is there's 2 false assumptions to planning apart from2:18 God. False assumption number 1 is that life is predictable. The truth is life is very unpredictable, and that we don't know what's gonna happen. False2:30 assumption number 2 is that life is long, but what James is saying is a lot of believers in that day just saw, woah, dollar signs, opportunity, let's2:42 go, And they assumed that things would be as they were predictable, and they assumed that they were gonna live a long time, and he says, You're wrong on both counts. And so again, I2:53 love James, inspired by the spirit, he now turns after saying, Wait a minute, and tells us the false assumptions. Now he shifts gears and says, well, if life is uncertain, if life is3:05 short, how should you go about making wise decisions with regard to work? And then in the next few verses, verses 15 to 17, he's gonna give us a clear explanation. Follow along as I3:17 read, how do we make good decisions about our work? He says, okay in contrast, you ought to say, if it's the Lord's will, we will live and do this or do that. As it is, you3:29 boast and you brag, and all such boasting is evil. Anyone then who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, he sins. I think out of3:40 this brief 3 verses, God gives us 4 very clear axiomatic ways to make good decisions about work. Number3:52 1, in making decisions about work, number 1, make God's will the foundation for all decision making. Just you know, who knows the future? God does. Who has your best interest in4:04 mind? God does. That's the part I think we don't believe. Would you jot in your notes Psalm 84 11? This is like 1 of my most, I love this verse verses. The Lord God is a sun and a shield.4:16 The Lord gives grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly. God's for... You know what? He's not trying to keep you from a good job with lots of money and all the things you think you're4:26 gonna deliver. The Lord God is a son, unlimited resources. The Lord is a shield, your protector. The Lord gives grace. In other words, stuff you don't deserve, the Lord gives glory. He wants to expand and multiply and be4:37 good to you. He's your father. No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly. 2nd, I think under this is that commit and say to yourself,4:49 regardless of the circumstances and the seeming can't miss opportunity, I'm going to do whatever you say. There's gotta be a commitment of the heart prior to the5:01 decision. I was doing a little research and found out that in the old days on, believers would write letters to 1 another, and at the end of the letter they would just put in the olden5:13 days, d period v period. Anybody know what that means? It's a Latin phrase. Deo volente. And they didn't mean it as a cliche. You know what it meant? It meant, if5:24 the Lord wills. See, they would write a letter and they would talk about, I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do that, I hope to come and see you and hope things are right then. D v. Deo volente. If the Lord wills. In other5:36 words, it's with an open hand. I think that's making God's will the foundation. Now let me give you, because I think this is important, some very specific ways, I think, to make God's will the5:48 foundation of all your decision making. Here's here's here's how when I have to find the will of God. Be willing to do whatever God wants you to do. Underneath that, you might jot John 76:00 17. Jesus said to a group of people, if any man is willing to do my will, he'll know the teaching, whether it's of God or whether I speak from myself. I think almost 90 percent of the will of God is getting my heart to6:11 the point where instead of trying to read into verses or read into counsel, God, I will do, no matter what it is, I will do whatever you want me to do. The 2nd way that, at least for me, to find6:23 God's will is to pray. Matthew 7 7, seek and you'll find, ask and you'll receive, knock and it'll be opened. Ask God, Lord show me, show6:35 me, speak to me. The 3rd is God's word. Psalm 1 19 1 0 5. Your word is a lamp unto my feet. It's a light unto my6:46 path. So often for me, just I keep reading where I'm reading. God, you know it's a big decision. Lord, I don't know what to do. I'm willing to do whatever. I'm asking you, and as I'm reading, speak to me from your word.6:58 So I'm gonna be willing, I'm gonna pray, I'm gonna get into the scriptures, and number 4, wise counsel. He who dwells with wise men will be wise, but the companion of a fool will suffer harm. That's Proverbs7:10 13 20. So make make God's will the foundation. And I think that's how you do it. I'm willing to do it. I'm asking. I'm in your word, and I'm gonna ask the people who know me best and who really walk with God,7:22 what do you think of this opportunity? And I'm not gonna do what they say, it's in the multitude of counselors, there's safety. I'm gonna weigh that. The 2nd principle that flows out of this to make good decisions about7:32 work is recognize the root cause of planning apart from God, and that's in verse 16. As it is, you boast and you brag. Literally, you take pride in your arrogance.7:44 I like the Phillips translation. He says, you get a certain pride, as he translates this, in yourself in planning for the future with such confidence. And I think the key here is motive.7:56 It's in pronouncing our plans or our capabilities as a statement of faith. This is what I believe the Lord wants me to do, But actually, when you get good at stuff, I mean when you know you're good, and by the8:08 way, it's okay to be good at stuff. God made you good at stuff. But that's where you can get tripped up. You're good at it, and you know, hey, I've done this. Look what happened. I've done this. Look what happened. I've8:17 done this. Look what happened. Here's another opportunity. I'm just gonna go do this and I can tell you, I can tell you what's gonna happen because I built that, I built that, I built that, and bang, you know? I was8:25 manager here, director here, supervisor here, VP here, and and when that great next juicy opportunity is there's something in the human heart. And so I think we just need to be open and sensitive to the Lord.8:37 God's will maybe, that's the next step. God's will maybe, this is a test. And you know, Jesus has Jesus has these statements that are so hard to get around. It's either me8:49 or mammon. Remember that 1? You can't worship it and me. And so often, upwardly mobile opportunities put us to9:01 the very test about what's the core value. I remember when Bill Carter said no to that job. I remember like coming home and talking to my wife and sort of telling the story, and9:13 going, I can't believe that. It was so rare. It was so unusual, but really it was his spiritual priorities and relational priorities were higher than making more money. WhyMake God's Will the Foundation for Decision Making 9:25 would I be shocked that a Christian thinks that way? You know? Because I don't meet many Christians that think that way. If Henry would have thought that way, he would have an intact family.9:37 If Henry would have thought that way, his kids would be still flourishing. If Henry would have thought that way, he'd be living in his own nice little house in rural Texas, growing and changing, and stopping the9:48 abuse, and starting a new generation of people, and instead, living in the station wagon. Every upwardly mobile opportunity may not be God's will. And that's the10:00 3rd principle from this passage, don't buy the lie. Upwardly mobile work opportunities are automatically the will of God. That's the lie. We just we just think10:12 unconsciously. Often we don't even think. Upwardly mobile opportunity, this, this, this. It must be God's will, and I would say do not buy the lie. Doesn't mean you shouldn't take them, doesn't mean not to pray about10:23 them, it doesn't mean that it's more spiritual to say no to those. The other test may be God is stretching you. God's given you capacity, and you were here, and the director here, and the manager here, and the supervisor10:33 here, and the VP here, and this is a new platform for ministry, but you go there not because of look at who I am and how much I've got and how much I'm gonna make, you go there as a steward of the manifold grace of10:45 God. This is a big responsibility. This will mean major changes if you still have a family. Before I go, I mean, Bill, you know what he did? He flew out. He visited 0.5 a dozen churches.10:57 He said, I didn't sense that I would have, the kind of fellowship that I need for where I'm at in my life right now. It doesn't mean that you don't take upwardly mobile opportunities, but the lie is believing upwardly11:09 mobile opportunities are automatically slam dunk the will of God. And what James is saying is they're not.11:20 You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram, and we'll get back to today's message in just a moment. Did you know Chip isn't just on the radio? He's on YouTube too. Just search Living on the Edge11:31 with Chip Ingram and hit subscribe. You'll find full length video teaching from Chip on marriage, parenting, leadership, and a whole lot more, ready to watch whenever it fits your schedule. It's11:43 also a great way to share a message with a friend who needs it. Alright. Now back to our message.11:49 The 4th principle that flows out of this passage in making wise decisions about work is to act on your God given dreams and impulses. In verse 17, what's it say? If anyone knows what the good is, the12:01 blessing is, the beautiful thing, the praiseworthy, the morally positive thing to do, and knows that he ought to do it, but doesn't do it, he sins. In verses 13 to 16, it's a sin of commission. It's12:13 arrogant planning apart from God. In verse 17, he warns us about the sin of omission, And so I would ask you, what is the good that God has prompted you to do? What is the good12:25 that you think he might be saying, hey. See this passage pushes real hard on don't buy the lie, upward mobility about your job. But then not just with regard to the job, this is sort of a summary statement.12:37 This verse I think is summarizing where we've been in terms of the teaching of James. Is there anything in your life or anything in my life you say, this is the good I ought to do. I ought to teach that class. I ought to12:48 mentor that young woman. You know what? My lands, you know, I've had a great job and he's talking about all this stuff, and I got a 4 0 1 k and a 7 0 1 k and a 15 o 1 k, and people had all kind of problems. And, you12:59 know, in my honest, honest hearts of hearts, I'd have to live about 4 lifetimes to spend all the money. And I've hoarded my security. And I I had to, you know what, I had to divest. And all the research I've done, I I've13:11 worked with a group called Generous Giving. They've done research with people that are extraordinarily wealthy, and they can't give you 1 or 2 instances of leaving it to their children where it's worked out well, and13:21 they have 0 instances where millions and millions of dollars have done anything but totally corrupt and ruin their grandchildren. And yet people have the stack of money. I remember 1 guy saying, well... I mean13:33 this is how we all had that that little that little line that says, well I'm gonna give over and above when I sort of this is okay. And then probably years ago, when I have 1000000 dollars and you know, and I know you13:44 know, in sort of net assets and things, I'll be okay. And then it got to be 10000000 and then 100000000, and I actually had an encounter with someone and said, you know something? I feel real free to give generously, but13:55 it's kinda after you have 1000000000 set aside. And I'm thinking, dude, how much steak can you eat in 1 day? I mean, you know? You know?14:07 And when I realized, what is the good that we ought to do? Is it is it giving wildly and generously? Is it is it is it saying that, you know, maybe some of us in in those middle or more twilight14:19 years have more to offer and instead of figuring out how to lower your golf score quite so well, that you invest your wisdom and your life and your gifts in the next generation. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's taking14:30 a risk, maybe it's stepping out. What is the good? What's the dream in your heart that God maybe has been kind of saying, that you ought to do? And he says, you know what? This is an interesting definition of14:42 sin, isn't it? If you know what's right to do and don't do it, it's sin. And sin just means missing the mark. And why does God not want us to miss the mark? Because he's a sun and a shield.14:54 He gives grace and glory. No good thing does he withhold. His plans for us are great. Why why is James reproving these entrepreneurs and business people from planning apart from God?15:06 It's because your plans and my plans and their plans apart from God will never land us in the best place. He's a loving God. Think somehow we get this idea that all of God's rules and all of his commandments, you15:17 know, he's kinda just trying to keep us from something good. His commandments are like the guard rails on a windy road where that if you go over the edge of the road you drop 1000 feet and die. All those commands and all15:29 those guardrails, you know what they're for? They're to keep you on the road, so that as you follow the road and get on the highway, you get the highest and the best. But what I will tell you is, in the15:41 world that we live in, you'll make a lot of tough decisions, and you'll look very different than the average Christian when you make your plans not apart from God, but surrendering them to15:53 God. And, I would guess, a little bit from your faces and just a little bit from experience, is there are some people in this room that took some jobs years16:05 back, and you look back now and and literally in your mind as I've been talking, you thought, boy I wonder why I took that. I didn't even think about whether to take that job or not. And then 1 of16:17 your kids went through a rough time, or that was... Let's see, you took the job, it was 3 years later, it's when your divorce hit. The company that looks so rock solid, and you got the big promotion, and then16:29 stock options went down, they hired a new CEO, and they downsized. Some of you in this room can think back to a job decision you made that you just think, boy I wish I would have16:41 heard this about 5 years ago, or 10. And I think the danger is thinking there's no hope. The danger is thinking, man I did, I took a job, and I wouldn't I wouldn't say I16:53 was selfish and greedy, I just kind of just did it, just made sense. And if you happen to be 1 of those people with lots of pain, I want to ask you just17:04 to jot down 2 little chapters, and I want to tell you a story. Because I want you to know that you can blow it. Big time. Make terrible decisions, and even make them innocently.17:17 And our God is a God of grace, a God of hope, and a God of restoration. And jot down if you would, just in the corner, Genesis chapter 12 and 13, and you maybe can get a Coke or cup of coffee17:29 or tea or whatever you like and put your feet up, and if you're in that situation and read it. And the story is very simple. There is a man who has a very important relationship with God, and God calls him17:41 and he obeys him. And he obeys him, but there's an opportunity. See, you think about these kind of jobs and there's some difficulty, and it wasn't like exactly a job, but the economic conditions caused him to make17:53 a decision to go down into Egypt. And then he got in the wrong place at the wrong time, and so then that causes us to compromise our integrity, and then he started telling some lies about his wife to protect his18:05 own skin. And then, if you know the story, his wife ends up in Pharaoh's harem. God disciplines and saves Abraham's wife out of that18:17 situation, and Pharaoh is pretty hot. And what you find is he he leaves Egypt, and that that's not a pretty time. In Abraham's life, he was a chicken. Okay? He made a decision apart from18:28 God. Circumstances led him directly to economically try and handle what was happening instead of saying, God, you called me to this place. I don't know how you're going to provide for him, but I'm going to trust you.18:39 Instead, he took a decision economically based, then he began a whole journey of lies that almost ended him up completely in the ditch. And it's really interesting that God18:51 is gracious to make him aware that it's a mistake, and maybe that's what he did for you in this room. And then in the end of chapter 13, as he moves out, the beginning of chapter19:03 14, you find him in a new land, and God sets out some new borders, and it says, and Abraham built an altar to the Lord, and he worshiped. And IRecognize Pride and Reject the Upward Mobility Lie 19:15 think at that altar, Abraham had some I'm sorry. That was not a good move. And I think probably he and Sarah had a conversation, I sure hope so, about I'm sorry. And it's interesting19:27 that when you track Abraham's life, that wasn't the end. He made a big mistake, but in chapter 15, God actually renews that great covenant, and19:39 God fulfills his promises even though he made a major, major significant, nearly fatal mistake about where to be and where to go based primarily on19:51 economics. And you know, I'd just like you to know that's how God will treat you. And you don't have to live with regret, you don't have to feel like all is lost. There may be some pain and some consequences, there were20:03 for Abraham. And so I think what you need to do is just bow your head and if that's the case, just say, Lord, I'm sorry. And you know, whether willfully, consciously, unconsciously, I look back in my life and see20:14 that's happened, and I I want you to not only forgive me, I want a fresh start. I want you to restore me. And I wanna be your man or your woman, because who knows how many years you've given me? I20:26 just talked to a guy who remarried at 70 and celebrated his 25th anniversary after his 1st wife died. See, we... You know, your faces tell me... And you're thinking, you know, who wants to get20:38 married at 70? Well he did. But who... He's got a 25 year anniversary. You know what? God wants so many people to live tonight. He's in good health, sharp as a tack. You know, God you know, God may have a lot more years20:48 for you. Life is short, but who knows? So let's not live in regrets. Let's live about what God will do in the future.20:58 You're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and a message titled how our jobs can destroy our relationships. It's part of our series building authentic community. And if you'd like to hearAct on the Good You Know to Do 21:10 this lesson again or share it with someone facing a big decision, you'll find it anytime at living on the edge dot org. You can also get these daily lessons downloaded automatically by subscribing21:22 to the Living on the Edge podcast wherever you listen. And to hear Chip's original full length sermons, subscribe to the Chip Ingram sermon podcast. Every job decision Chip talked21:34 about today eventually lands on the people closest to us. That's why love has to be part of the equation from the very beginning. In his book, I Choose Love, Chip shows that biblical love, what21:46 scripture calls agape love, isn't a feeling that happens to you, but a decision you make to put the good of the people God has given you ahead of your own ambitions. It's a practical, honest look at21:58 what it means to love on purpose in every season and every choice. Get your copy of I Choose Love at a special price today at living on the edge dot org slash offers.22:10 You know, some of the best decisions we ever make are the ones that invest in something bigger than ourselves. If this ministry has helped you think more biblically about your work, your family, or your future,22:22 we invite you to invest in it today. Become a monthly partner or make a 1 time gift right now by going online to living on the edge dot org or call us at triple 8 3 3 322:34 6 0 0 3. You can also send your gift by mail to Living on the Edge, PO box 3007, Suwanee, Georgia 3 0 0 2 4. Well, now22:45 here's Chip Ingram.22:47 As we close today's program, decisions have huge emotional weight and emotional impact. And for some, I pray today was, you know, a flashing light at at the22:58 crossroads and you're about to make a decision and you thought to yourself, oh, thank you, God. I'm gonna I'm gonna do it your way. I'm not gonna make assumptions. I'm gonna I'm gonna plan. I'm gonna surrender. I'm gonnaHope and Restoration After Poor Decisions 23:09 really seek you. And I pray today was just a great gift of grace that will help you make a great decision. But my fear is that for some of you, this is something that you're saying to23:21 yourself, you know, I already made the decision. I bought the lie. Yes. I'm upwardly mobile, but that job or that decision or that passion cost me my marriage or a relationship with 1 of my kids.23:33 I want you to know there's hope. Right now, God is speaking to you to say, step number 1 is let me forgive you. Was it wrong? Yes. Have you paid a price? Yes. Has God abandoned you? Absolutely23:45 not. In your heart of hearts, right where you at, just confess, Lord, I'm gonna own this. I'm sorry. I misstepped. I was wrong. Will you forgive me right now? I need your son, Jesus.23:57 Will you please come into my life right now? I believe that he died on the cross for me. I believe he rose from the dead, and I wanna surrender my life, my future. Oh, God. I24:09 am bankrupt spiritually. Will you please help me? God will hear that prayer, and that will be the 1st step toward making the kind of decisions to rebuild your life. Find a good church24:21 that teaches the Bible this week and whoever you know that is the best Christian you know, get on the phone in the next 5 minutes and say, I just prayed to receive Christ. I'm not sure what it means, but I know I24:33 need help. God wants to help you today to make the best decision you'll ever make for all24:40 eternity. Next time, Chip begins a brand new message with a question most of us answer a little too quickly. Would more money really make you happier? Don't miss it right here on Living on the24:51 Edge. Today's program is produced and sponsored by Living on the Edge.In this video 0:00 The False Assumptions of Planning Apart from God9:17 Make God's Will the Foundation for Decision Making19:08 Recognize Pride and Reject the Upward Mobility Lie21:05 Act on the Good You Know to Do23:03 Hope and Restoration After Poor Decisions25:00
Prayer That Brings Revival, Part 2 Chip Ingram
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