Skip to content Stand Alone Messages: A Woman of Excellence May 14 · 50 min ...more
Stand Alone Messages: A Woman of Excellence
May 14, 2023 · 50 min
This week on Mother's Day we addressed the significant value of a woman from Proverbs 31. In this text King Lemuel recalls to mind what his mother has taught him about the value of a woman and the kind of wife he was going to need to be successful in his calling. Throughout this great text of Scripture, one learns of God's design, love and purpose for women. In our current culture that denigrates and devalues women, God elevates and encourages women to be the fullness of what God has created them to become. This inspirational and aspirational text not only blesses women but also helps men to understand how valuable women are to them being their best for Christ. God's complementary design for gender is beautiful and our Creator is worthy of praise for His efforts. May this week's message encourage you to trust our God's authority on gender and His design for women. Speaker: Jeff Schwarzentraub
Series BRAVE Church
Pastor Jeff Schwarzentraub serves as president of Pastor Jeff Ministries, a national and global ministry designed to equip believers and challenge them to take
May 14, 2023 · 50 min · BRAVE Church
This week on Mother's Day we addressed the significant value of a woman from Proverbs 31. In this text King Lemuel recalls to mind what his mother has taught him about the value of a woman and the kind of wife he was going to need to be successful in his calling. Throughout this great text of Scripture, one learns of God's design, love and purpose for women. In our current culture that denigrates and devalues women, God elevates and encourages women to be the fullness of what God has created them to become. This inspirational and aspirational text not only blesses women but also helps men to understand how valuable women are to them being their best for Christ. God's complementary design for gender is beautiful and our Creator is worthy of praise for His efforts. May this week's message encourage you to trust our God's authority on gender and His design for women. Speaker: Jeff Schwarzentraub ...more Show the full description Show less This week on Mother's Day we addressed the significant value of a woman from Proverbs 31. In this text King Lemuel recalls to mind what his mother has taught him about the value of a woman and the kind of wife he was going to need to be successful in his calling. Throughout this great text of Scripture, one learns of God's design, love and purpose for women. In our current culture that denigrates and devalues women, God elevates and encourages women to be the fullness of what God has created them to become. This inspirational and aspirational text not only blesses women but also helps men to understand how valuable women are to them being their best for Christ. God's complementary design for gender is beautiful and our Creator is worthy of praise for His efforts. May this week's message encourage you to trust our God's authority on gender and His design for women. Speaker: Jeff Schwarzentraub
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0:00 Our father in heaven, we give you all the glory, honor and praise for who you are. And Lord, we ask this morning that you would put a special hand of blessing on the families of this church, parents that are trying to0:10 raise their kids in the way of the Lord. Lord, it's not easy. It's impossible without you, but Lord, we believe that you gave parents so that kids would have the opportunity of growing into a relationship0:22 with you. Father, bless all these parents that are dedicating these children and bless all these children that 1 day they would advance your kingdom to the glory of God. Lord, now we listen to you because we wanna hear0:33 what you have to say from your living and active word. And we believe, Lord, every time your word is faithfully and accurately proclaimed that you speak and have a message for us. And so Lord, I pray today you'd be0:43 helpful to me and helpful to us as we hear. And so now for all those who have gathered, who desire to hear the Lord speak directly to you, who will believe what he says to you and who will by faith put into practice what0:55 he shows you, will you agree with me very loudly this morning by saying the word amen, amen. I had a very interesting week this week as I was preparing for the message. I was preparing for1:06 Exodus 32 and the golden calf and all of those different things, but it kept coming to my mind of how are we gonna celebrate the mothers here at Brave? And as we were talking about how we're gonna do that and how we1:16 announce that and all these different things, then I started getting messaging back saying, well, you gotta be careful how you do that because that can be triggering for a lot of people. And when I hear somebody tell me1:25 that I can't speak freely, it makes me wanna say it again. So happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who are here at Brave Today, we love you. And while I realize it can be
1:37 triggering, it can be triggering for this reason. We have a number of godly single gals in our church that are saying, I just wanna get married. And we have a bunch of married people in our church that say, I would love
1:46 to be able to have a child. It just hasn't happened for me yet. Or we've gone through crisis in doing that or I've gone through a divorce and I'm in pain. But here's why I think that we need to do this is
1:57 because not only did I start thinking about mothers, I started thinking about all the women in our church because all of our women are so great and so godly and our society does not celebrate women at all. I don't know
2:08 if you know that or not. As a matter of fact, they let what they call biological males compete in women's sports. You know what the Bible calls a biological male? A male. And so,
2:20 the problem with that is it pushes women down and doesn't celebrate the femininity that God has for you. And I know politics and media are downstream from culture and culture is downstream from family and
2:31 family's downstream from the church and the church is downstream from the faithful, accurate proclaiming of the word of God. And what I've started feeling in my heart is nobody's championing women. We say at Brave, we're
2:43 here to challenge brave warriors for courageous kingdom advancement. That's not just men, that's men and women. And so I thought as I was doing this, thinking, well, today's Mother's Day, it's also my anniversary today
2:54 by the way, all right? That I thought what a better time than to champion our women and let God speak about what a woman of excellence looks
3:06 like. So we're taking a pause from the book of Exodus today to talk about women and we're gonna be in Proverbs chapter 31. We're gonna look at verses 10 to 31 today because I want the women in our church to know what
3:18 God has to say about you and how much he values and champions you. I also want the men to know how much God values and champions you. And it's really interesting too because in this section of scripture, as you're
3:29 turning to Proverbs 31, you'll see this is King Lemuel. We don't know much about him. We don't know who he was. His name means dedicated to God or belonging to God. If this was King Solomon, which
3:41 may or may not have been, then this is him getting instruction from his mother Bathsheba, would be incredible. But throughout the book of Proverbs, it's really given to men. You know, son, pay attention. Son, pay
3:52 attention. Young man, pay attention. And And it talks about some different women. There's a woman of wisdom that's talked about that you need to pursue. There's a woman of folly that you need to stay away from. There's
4:02 an adulterous woman you need to stay away from. So it should come as no surprise that the entire book of Proverbs ends with understanding what a woman with flesh and bones looks like that's of excellence.
4:14 And this king, Lemuel, is writing down what his mom told him about what it means to be a godly woman and the kind of woman that he should look for in a wife. She starts by saying in
4:26 the first 10 verses that he shouldn't waste his strength on a bunch of women, shouldn't waste his time drinking too much or being caught up in those things because as a king, he needs to make good decisions and he needs
4:37 to speak forth on behalf of those who need to hear him. And then she begins to go into this teaching where he says, here's what my mom taught me. Now I come from a great line of
4:48 women in my family. My 1 grandma died at 104, my other grandma just turned 100 this last spring. I got 2 great sisters, great women cousins. I have a great wife. I'm raising 2 daughters. God
5:00 loves all of them. I just think we need to speak about this. And the reason we need to address this is I need to give you a little background information before we get started in the lesson today just so that you can be
5:11 aware. Most of you may know this, but some of you may not. It's not being talked about much in TV. So I wanna take you back to Genesis chapter 1 when God created the world and how he created it. Because if we're gonna
5:22 talk about gender, we need to understand what gender is, not according to what I think or you think, but according to what God thinks, Okay? Here's what God says in Genesis chapter 1 verses 26 through
5:33 28, and this is why it's important because when God created the heavens and the earth, he was the only eyewitness there. He's the only 1 around. So if there's anybody that can speak to his created order, let's let him
5:43 speak. Here's what he says. Then God said, let us make man in our image according to our likeness and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth and
5:55 over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth. Verse 27, God created man in his own image. In the image of God, he created him. Male and female, he created them. So
6:06 God creates humankind and he creates how many genders? 2 according to God, male and female. Now any good science will always back up the word
6:18 of God. Good science always does. Now my mom happened to be a labor and delivery nurse when I grew up. Okay? Which means at the age of 12, I knew more about conception, reproduction, and delivery of babies than most men
6:30 do in their entire lives. I promise you I've seen more videos of babies born than any of you guys here, I promise you. And here's science. Here's what science says. Science would back this. So the way conception works is
6:42 for a healthy child, there are 23 chromosomes donated by the man and 23 that are by the woman in her egg. When they come together, there are 46 chromosomes in a healthy baby. That's called a zygote.
6:53 All female eggs are the X chromosome. Man contributes to the woman. If a a Y chromosome comes and joins with the egg, it's an XY, that is a
7:05 boy. If an X chromosome from the sperm comes and joins with the eggs, that's an XX, that's a girl, which means this, your gender was decided before you even had a heartbeat according
7:17 to science and the word of God. Okay? Does that make sense? So that's why we say this. Now we do live in a culture that doesn't believe this because we
7:29 have a culture that doesn't believe in the word of God and they throw all that away. And I want you to know this too, we live in a culture where the culture impacts us. And there's several of you that attend our church
7:39 that have family members, friends, cousins, and relatives that have been caught up in this satanic ideology that you can change your gender. Some of you here may even believe that. That's a lie from the
7:51 pit of hell. God created you male or female. You either came out as a girl and will grow into a woman or you came out as a boy and you will grow into a man and it doesn't matter what surgery or hormones you take, it will
8:01 never ever change that, okay? Now, I'm also saying this with compassion because there's sometimes that people come that will applaud that, but when they have
8:13 a family member that's dealing with that, then they're ashamed to come to church and say, well, what are people gonna say? Here's what we're gonna say. We're gonna hold the standard of God very, very high and we're gonna
8:21 love you where you're at. And if you're a family that's struggling with that, we're praying for you and we love you and we care for you and you don't need to live in shame. You're part of our community, you're part of
8:31 our family. Does that make sense? But we're gonna hold the word of God high. And that's why it's important that we do this because God designed women, he created women, he loves women, he has a unique purpose for women.
8:41 That's why he created 2 genders. Notice Genesis 1 28, first command in the Bible. God blessed them and God said to them, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. What did God want? Families. He wanted
8:52 families. It's interesting because if you flip forward where God highlights day 6 in Genesis chapter 2 to Genesis 2 24 and 25, which I usually reference in every marriage I officiate, it says, For
9:04 this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and the 2 shall become 1 flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and they were not ashamed. For this reason, a man will leave his father
9:15 and mother. For what reason? What reason is a man gonna leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife? For what reason? Because of the command of God to get married and reproduce and have children,
9:28 to have the next generation. Now, I understand we live in a broken, fallen world and some of you that wanna conceive can't conceive, I get all that. God's greater than that. I realize that some of you wanna get married
9:38 and have kids and you're not married yet. I get all that. There's pain in this world because of sin, but it doesn't change what God's desire is and his heart is. And yes, there are a select few in the body of Christ that
9:49 would say no desire to get married, no desire for intimacy, wanna be single, that's very few. I've met 2 guys in my entire life that have been called to that lifestyle, 2, right? It's not normal. What's normal
10:01 is if you're a man, you would find a woman and if you're a woman, you would be with a man and you would get married for the sake of growing the kingdom. That's called a family. That's why there's always an attack on the
10:12 family because Satan hates the family. So he's always trying to redefine the family. Family is a husband and a wife and Lord willing children. That's definition of a family, right? And God
10:23 loves what family is. It doesn't mean you're not part of a broken family, come up with all these words, but that's what God wants. That's his standard. That's what he looks for, right? And it's important when we talk
10:34 about this today, I mean, it's just really important because this so much of the Bible is aspirational. I mean, we spell out, here's what God wants the woman of excellence to be. There can be this, I can never be that.
10:46 Apart from the Holy Spirit, you never can. And even with the Holy Spirit, you'll never be it perfectly. We're just saying, can you grow in it increasingly? So it's not a time for women here today to feel like, oh, I feel
10:55 so bad, I'm not bad. And it's not a time for guys today to be nudging your wives saying, hey, pick up your game a little bit, would you? I mean, that's not what it is. When we teach on men like love your wives like
11:05 Christ loved the church, there's not a guy in here that loves their wife like Christ loved the church. When I read about how Jesus loved the church, I don't come close to that. I'm growing in that, right? And it's really
11:16 interesting because in the Bible, when God created mankind and he created everything and it was all perfect and good, even before the fall, he had said the 1 thing that wasn't good, it's not good for what? Man to be
11:26 alone. God needed a woman. God needed a woman because man needed a woman. Man had to have a woman. Man was not complete without a woman. That's how God designed it. And
11:38 so Adam was waiting on God to look for that woman. It reminds me of the story. This is not biblical, it's not true. But when Adam was waiting for the Lord and God told him, he goes, I'm gonna create a woman for you.
11:49 She's gonna be a pretty lady. She'll gather food for you, she will cook for you and when you discover clothing, she will wash it for you. She will always agree with you with every decision you make, she will never ever
11:59 nag you and she will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you. She will bury your children. She will never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care
12:10 of them. She will be there to meet all of your needs all the time without complaining. So Adam asked God, he's like, what's that gonna cost? God said, that's gonna cost an arm and a leg. Adam
12:22 said, well, what can I get for a rib? And the rest is history.
12:27 Right? Hey,
12:31 joke with you because there's such tension when it comes to gender and we're all worked up. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves. As guys, we're not everything God wants us to be, we're growing in. As women, we're
12:41 not everything God wants us to be, but we're growing in it. But can we just let God speak this morning? I wanna give you the magnificent 7 that I see in this text in Proverbs chapter 31 verses
12:53 10 to 31 about what a woman of excellence is. And the first is this, that a woman of excellence is gifted and godly. She's gifted and godly. Notice what he says. He says, an excellent
13:04 wife who can find for her worth is far above jewels. It doesn't mean that you can't locate a woman like this. It's when you locate a woman like this, the reason she's so hard
13:16 to locate is this is a gifted, favored woman. This is a woman that has spent time at the feet of Jesus. This is a woman that is being transformed by Jesus. When you find a woman like that, you can't
13:28 just find her. It has to be the Lord that's bringing her into your life. She's special. She's unique. She's gifted. She's principled. She's favored. That's what he says. And what is she worth? Far more than any jewels.
13:40 What the author is trying to say, you can't put a price tag on this woman. You can't put a price tag on a godly wife. There's no way that you can do it. I mean I love my
13:52 wife. She knows I love her. But when she goes away for a period of time, I know how much more I love her than I thought I did. When she goes to Mozambique on a mission trip and for 10 days
14:04 I'm in charge of the family as well as everything else going on in my life, I wasn't good at either. We ate out every single meal for 10 nights in a row, didn't
14:16 care. We even had people offer to bring us food. I'm like, no, I don't even know if we're gonna be home. I don't know what time it is. I don't know if my kids will eat it. I just we'll just go out And that way I don't
14:24 have to wash dishes either. I mean, it was just we're out. I mean, I couldn't wait for her to get home because our family doesn't run and work the same without her, right? That's what he's saying. She's an excellent
14:36 wife. Who can find she's worth far more than rubies, far more than jewels. It means this, if God compensated individuals in our culture, not according to what society valued but according to what he valued, every single
14:48 wife would be a multimillionaire. That's how valuable you are to the Lord in his kingdom agenda for you. Notice what it says in verse 11. This is why she's godly. The heart of her husband trusts in her and
15:00 he will have no lack of gain. A lot going on there. The heart of her husband trusts in her. By nature, we as men are kind of scared to let our true self out there sometimes, especially
15:12 when it comes to gals, especially when it comes to our wives. And we get married and we realize they see everything, can't hide from her. But a godly wife will allow you to be yourself, she'll keep it to herself. You
15:22 don't have to worry about her gossiping with all the women talking about how bad you are. You don't have to worry about her bringing up all your stuff from your past. You don't have to worry about her when you mess up
15:30 telling everybody how bad You can trust this woman because she's got character. She knows how to take those things to the Lord. She knows how to pray for you to change. And the husband trusts her. He can
15:42 lean into her. He can value her. And guess what? He has no lack of gain. Guess what? Because that husband knows that every good thing in his life is coming from his wife. That husband realized he wouldn't be the man that
15:53 he is if it wasn't for her. Right? That's what he's saying. She's gifted. She's favored. She has principle. She has character and she's godly. Notice what it says here. She does him
16:04 good, not evil, all the days of her life. She preferences him. Now in the Bible, we're called to preference 1 another for the sake of Christ. We're called to submit to 1 another out of reverence for Christ. She's living
16:16 that. She's putting the man up. She's saying, hey, to the extent that you're successful, that means I'm successful because you wouldn't be successful if I wasn't successful. If I wasn't doing this for you, you wouldn't
16:26 have all that. That's what she's saying. That's what she's doing. So here would be a word to describe a godly woman. Here would be a word to describe a woman of excellence. Ready? A servant. She serves. She's
16:38 a godly servant. You're gonna see that all the way throughout the text. It's how God created the heart of a woman. A woman wants to serve, a woman wants to help. God gave man a woman because he needed help. Men
16:49 today still need help. That's why God created a woman, right? She's gifted, she's godly. And her husband trusts in her, she brings him good, not evil all the days of her life. Why
17:01 is that important? Because the Bible talks about what it's like if you don't marry a woman like that. In Proverbs 12 and verse 4, it says, an excellent wife is the crown of her husband. But notice this, but
17:13 she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones. Or how about this verse? Proverbs 19 in verse 14 says it like this, house and wealth are an inheritance from
17:25 fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord. You meet a woman like that, that's from God. Or how about Proverbs 20 one:nine? This is where you see that a wife can make or break
17:37 you, right? She can make or break you. It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Better to live in the garage,
17:49 better to live in the shed than under the roof with someone that's contentious and always fighting after you. Not the godly woman, not the woman of excellence. She wants him to do good. She wants to treat him good and
17:59 not evil. How long? All the days of her life. That's her heart as a wife. A woman of excellence. She's gifted. She's godly. Number 2 is this. She's also enterprising and
18:11 entrepreneurial. She's enterprising and entrepreneurial. Notice this. She looks for woolen flax and works with her hands in what? Delight. She looks for items that she can turn
18:23 into something. She's resourceful. And if you have moms that were resourceful, they could take some leftovers in the kitchen and kind of whip it together and it tastes really, really good, or they had the ability to mix
18:34 and match clothing and send you off to school really doing good, or they had the ability to sew and put things together and do good. Moms out of a way of doing things out of what little they have and making them
18:46 really look good. That's the heart of a woman. A woman's entrepreneurial. She's resourceful. She's enterprising. It's who she is. It means she's adding value. Notice what it says in verse 14. She's like
18:58 merchant ships. She brings her food from afar. That means this woman's going to Sam's and Costco and she's loading up and she's coming home. I mean, she knows what needs to go in the home. She knows how to make the home
19:09 good. She knows how to make sure everybody's fed. She knows how to go and take care of the whole family. She knows what the whole clan needs. She's aware when this 1 needs this and that 1 needs that and what. She's
19:20 taking care of everybody. That's the heart of a woman. A woman isn't by nature a helper that says, I see it. It's so obvious to me. Let me help you with that. That's the heart of what a woman
19:32 is. Men, listen to your wives when she tells you something. You don't see what she sees and you don't hear what she hears. And I found in my family, I mean, she's not always right, but about
19:44 99.9 percent of the time, I'm listening to my wife because I know that God gave her to me so that she would see things I don't see and hear things I don't hear and speak them into my life. That's
19:56 the heart of a woman. She's a helper. She's entrepreneurial. She's taking care of the family. She's going out and she's doing some incredible things. And notice this, she rises
20:07 also while it is still night and gives food to her household and portions to her maidens. Means this woman's up early in the morning. I told my wife this is aspirational for you, just
20:19 keep seeking the Lord. Maybe she takes coffee too, I don't know. But she's up early, she's making sure lunches are made, she's making sure breakfast is there, she's
20:31 making sure everybody's taken care of, do you have what you need for the day? For those that are helping out around the house, if you've ever done a home improvement project, I promise you, your wife has been involved in
20:40 the decision making process. This needs to go here, this needs to get done there, this needs to be here, this That's what she does. It's who she is. She's entrepreneurial, she's adding value to the home, she's doing
20:52 things that you can't see. It's like when I go to all these young guys' apartments before they get married and they got 1 picture on the wall and it's like of a football player. And then they get married and I walk into
21:01 their house and like, that picture ain't there anymore, is it? And I'm like, nope, it's gone. I mean, that's what she does. And notice this, she considers a field and buys it and from her
21:13 earnings, she plants a vineyard. She's entrepreneurial, she's in real estate, she's looking, she says, our family needs this, we need to consider that, we need to buy this, this is what we need, this is gonna keep our
21:23 family and the vision where we're going. She's not just sitting home watching soap operas. She's engaged in what needs to happen. She's engaged in taking ground for the family. She's
21:35 capable. She's able to do what God wants her to do. Women are capable of doing everything that God tells them that they're capable of doing and they need to be championed for that. Now
21:46 I'm raising 2 daughters and I was had breakfast with my oldest the other day and she's getting to a place where she's learning her career and knowing what she wants to do and we're having a conversation about it and I
21:55 was chiming in. I'm like, listen, you can have that career and have it at this level, this level, or this level. And I'm like, hey, you're good at what you do and if this is really what you love, you should look on being
22:03 the best. And we had this whole conversation and I got done and I was like, and if you do this, you might be 1 of the best in all of Denver, maybe in the whole state of Colorado. I thought I was really getting through to
22:12 her and she's like, Dad, she goes, listen, she goes, I wanna be called by people because they know me and I'm the best in the world. And I'm like, okay, message complete. You got it,
22:24 right? Why do we put people down? I mean, as men, our job is to empower women. Our job is to lift up women. Our job is to help women be the fullness of everything that God designed them to be. I want that for my wife. I
22:34 want that for my daughters, both of them, right? And that's what he's saying here. Women have a way of making things in the family go. I always remember a story here when I would play for the state championship when I
22:46 was a senior in high school and we played on Astroturf at 1 of the college football stadiums and it was back in the day we couldn't just go to Dick's Sporting Goods and buy cleats for Astroturf, we had to find a place
22:57 that had them and we knew of a coach that coached this college that was about 50 minutes away. And my mom who was a labor and delivery nurse, she said, I'll take off work, I'll go get those shoes for you, I'll drive 50
23:07 minutes, I'll drive all the way back. And so she did. And I tried on the shoes on like a Tuesday and I didn't have the heart to tell. They didn't fit. My toes were crunching at the end. And she's like, how are they? I'm
23:18 like, you know, said, Jeff, how are they? I'm like, well, don't fit. Like, that's okay. I'll take off work tomorrow. I'll go down and get you and exchange them for another pair and bring those back. And she did that for
23:27 me so that I could play in the state championship game. Now, at the time I thought, well, that's what moms do, right? Moms do all those errands for you. They clean all your clothes. They cook all your meals. They're
23:37 awesome. Moms are really good. I didn't realize until later in life, those were choices she was making to bless me and our family. That's what it means to be entrepreneurial and enterprising. It means you're looking out
23:47 for the interests of others besides yourself and you're taking every opportunity to do that. And that's what God champions in the heart of a woman. Not only is she gifted and godly and enterprising and entrepreneurial,
23:58 but notice this, she's diligent and determined. She's diligent and determined. Notice verse 13. I'm sorry, verse 17 says that she girds
24:10 herself with strength and makes her arms strong. Her character is strength. This woman is able to rest in her identity in the Lord. She is strong in the Lord. She is of
24:22 good courage in the Lord. And guess what? Her arms are strong too. You know what that means? This woman's working out. This woman's capable of doing all the jobs and all the tasks that she needs to be able to do. She's
24:32 taking care of herself. She's doing the things. She's not complaining. She's strong. She's strong in the Lord. She's strong in the strength of his might. Notice what else it goes on to
24:44 say. She senses that her gain is good. Now, how does she know that what she's doing is good? It means she's got a strong relationship with the Lord. Because just like as for men where Satan tells us all the time, you're
24:55 failing as a father, you're failing as a husband, you're failing in your career, you could be so much better, you could be so much better, how come you? God speaks the same thing to women, especially women that serve in
25:03 their families. Like you're not a good enough wife and you're not a good enough mother and here's all the things that you do wrong and you could do all these things. That's how Satan lies to women. So where's she hearing
25:12 that she's doing a good job? She's spending time with the Lord. She's hearing his voice over her that you're fearfully and wonderfully made, that you're special, that your soul knows it full well. Where else should she
25:23 be hearing it? From her husband who should be affirming the things that God is saying to her so the only time that she hears it is not only when she hears it from the Lord, but she's also hearing it from her husband. And
25:34 husband, I'm here to tell you and I'm telling you, I'm speaking to myself, I'm preaching to me as I'm preaching today. No matter how much you think you affirm your wife, it's not enough. I mean, could use a little more
25:44 affirmation, especially in the things that she's doing so diligently that you take for granted. Notice that. It says this, verse 18,
25:56 she senses that it's good. Her lamp does not go out at night. In other words, not only is this woman up early in the morning, this woman is staying up all night. In other words, she's willing to work around the clock to
26:04 make sure everybody's taken care of. I like to tell people I have a full time job. My wife is the 1 that has the overtime job, right? Because you don't do motherhood and be a wife from 9 to 5. It's not
26:16 a 9 to 5 job. There's a lot that comes up all the time and you're always dealing with stuff and you don't get to choose all the stuff that you're dealing with. And sometimes it's early in the morning and sometimes it's
26:25 late at night and usually it's a job that nobody else wants. And guess what? You step into that and you're strong for the task because you know this is why God put me on the earth. Now, why is it so important? Moms,
26:34 listen to me. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for my mom. I mean, if there's any value that I'm offering you as a church, if you've ever been blessed by anything abrave, you should meet my mom and thank her
26:47 because I wasn't the wonderful person you see before you right now every day that I was growing up. And my mom was strict and she was stern and she didn't put up with any nonsense and because of her, that was a huge part
26:58 in who I am today, right? That's what it was going on. It says this, her lamp does not go at night. She stretches out her hands to the disk staff and her hands grabs the spindle. She's
27:10 constantly at work, she's diligent, she's gonna accomplish something, she's attentive, she's persistent in doing good, that's who she is. She's always making sure things are done. Now my mom was a no nonsense kind of
27:22 mom. She didn't put up with a lot with me. And I remember about middle school 1 time, I was coming home and I was complaining about dinner and the meals that she was making that I didn't like them. And my mom didn't lose
27:33 a beat, you know? I mean, 1 day we're sitting at dinner and I made some snide remark about her meals. She said, that's okay. She's like, you know what, Jeff? Next week, you're gonna make meals for the whole family every
27:41 single night. And I said, no problem. I can do that. Hot dogs every night. She's like, no, no, no. She's like, you have to go shopping with me. You have to make a grocery list. You have to buy the food. I'm buying you a
27:50 cookbook. You have to tell me what the ingredients are. You have to go with me, do the store, you have to buy all the ingredients, and then when you make it, all 4 food groups need to be present, and by the way, your
27:58 sister can say whatever she wants about your meal. That was the last time I ever complained about my mom's food because all week long, I slayed and struggled and was no good at it and we'd sit down to eat, my sister
28:10 would be like, this is the worst thing I've ever tasted. And she was right. And I was like, hey mom, you're great. And the funny thing is my mom's a really good cook too. So But that's what it means to be
28:22 diligent. It means you're taking care of those things. You're working those things out. I was thinking of another story too. When I was in eighth grade, remember my mom kept threatening me. She's like, you need to make
28:30 your bed. I'm not gonna let you go to practice if you don't make your bed. I'm like, whatever. I remember 1 day I'm shooting hoops before practice and I see my short little mom sitting over there like this. And I walk
28:40 over to her. She's like, we're going home. You didn't make your bed. I'm like, what are you talking about? She took me home from practice, made me make my bed and then took me back to practice. And the coach is like,
28:50 what are you where were you going? I'm like, I had to make my bed. And my coach is like, I love Jeff's mom. Everybody should make their bed every day. But that's what a woman does. She's diligent, she's
29:02 determined, she sees the best. She doesn't see the best right then, she sees the best for the future. But notice this in number 4, not only is she gifted and godly, enterprising, entrepreneurial, compassionate and
29:13 confident, this woman is this, number 4, she's compassionate and confident, compassionate and confident. Notice that she extends her hand to the poor and she stretches out her hands to the needy.
29:25 She sees needs and she meets them. The heart of a woman of excellence is when you see needs and you're like, I'll take care of that. Nobody else may see what I do, but I see it and I'll take care of that. I'll do that
29:34 inside my family and outside my family. I have the ability to see where people are hurting. I have the ability to see where people have needs. And in my heart, I just wanna help. I just wanna do something about it. I'll
29:45 do it by myself or I'll rally some people that can help me because this can't continue. That's the heart of a woman. She cares for the poor and the poor can be financially poor, it can also be the poor that are
29:57 broken in spirit. She sees that and she's building on that. Notice verse 21, she's also confident. She's not afraid of the snow for her household. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes coverings for
30:08 herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Woman walks around in confidence. She makes sure that her family is dressed in the best. She may not have all the money in the world, but she's gonna make sure that when
30:17 her kids leave the house and when she leaves the house, she's doing her best to present well. She's gonna make sure that she's walking in confidence. And this comes from the inside working its way to the out. She's not
30:29 fearful about what's gonna happen, she's confident. You're gonna see that later in the text. She's confident in the days to come. She knows where she is now but she believes the future's even better. That's who this
30:38 woman is. She's compassionate. She cares. But guess what? She's also confident. This woman is not a pushover. This woman can hold her own ground. Women, you need to hold your own ground. Right? Sometimes people my wife
30:49 will tell me, you know, Jeff, these people, they don't really like me. They think I'm like a pushover to you and just do whatever you want. And I'm like, invite them over to our house so they can participate in some of
30:58 our conversations. A woman should speak into situations and should speak into their husband's life and should speak into the church and should speak into society because you have the ability to see things
31:10 nobody else can see and hear things nobody else can hear, right? That's who this woman is. She's compassionate, but she's confident. She's not afraid. She's not afraid. And then I love this, it just keeps getting better.
31:23 Number 5, she's catalytic with character. She's catalytic with character. Notice verse 23. It says this, her husband is known in the gates when he sits
31:35 among the elders of the land. She's catalytic. She's making her husband better. This man is sitting at the gates. The gates was the centrality of the city. It's where all the people met and where all
31:47 the people met of influence, this man had great influence over the influencers. And the reason this man had great influence over the influencers is because he married well, because he married a godly woman. That's
31:59 why he's in the gates. If you study this section of text, and we don't have time to go through it all today, every beginning verse begins with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet and it's
32:11 in a structure that focuses right to this verse. This verse right here is the key to this whole thing. This is the mother telling her son, marry a godly woman because she will make or break you. If you're gonna be a
32:22 person of influence in a city, if you're gonna be a person of influence among people, you better marry a godly woman. And this is what a godly woman does. She makes her man better. I know that everything that I am of
32:34 any good that I've ever done in ministry is a result of my wife. I mean, we'll joke about 2 decades ago, what it was like when we knew each other and who we were and how we were living. And I'm like, man, I am so much
32:45 more of a godly man because you're in my life and I've been speaking into it for 2 decades. I know that. And without her, I couldn't do what I'm doing. That's just flat out fact, right? That's what women have the ability
32:57 to do. They have the ability to make or break you. When we interview somebody at Brave and they're coming in, I mean, the guy could be the greatest pastor in the world. I wanna meet his wife because I can tell in about 5
33:08 minutes, like, does she support him or not? Is she godly or not? Is she if she can have all different temperament, she can have all different personality, that's totally fine. Is she a godly woman who is building into
33:18 him or not? It's pretty easy to tell. And if she's not, she's gonna break him. And if she is, she's the reason that he's doing so well. She's catalytic. Everyone around her gets
33:30 better. That's what the text says. Notice what it says. She makes linen garments, so she's still making things, selling them. She's entrepreneurial and supplies belts to the trade
33:42 men. Strength and dignity are her clothing. Right? I mean this woman is a dignified woman. I mean she's making everybody around her better, right? So
33:54 when your wife is speaking to you, listen. I mean I'll give you just a little example. You guys are part of the 10 30 service. Last week in the 8 30 service, I wore black jeans. And when I came down off the platform, I
34:06 saw my wife. First thing she said to me is, you need to change your jeans because they don't match your shirt before next service. And I said, what are you talking about? This purple shirt matches perfectly with with,
34:17 black. She goes, first of all, the shirt is blue and it doesn't go because it's spring color. I don't have time to get into it. Just need to change your pants. So I look at my daughter and I said, what do you think? She
34:27 goes, you need to listen to mom. I said, I'm not I'm getting ready to close the service out. So, you know, I go back up to my office and you know, we're arguing about it so we compromise. I changed them and so that's why
34:36 I wore blue jeans last week. That's just a mini example of things that go on all the time in our home where Kim is watching, she's seeing, she's hearing, she's speaking, she's saying based on where you wanna go. She said
34:48 something to me the other day that I'm still wrestling with and my heart is very profound about something in ministry I need to be more engaged in doing and I know she's right and I'm like thinking about how I do it and
34:56 what it's gonna look like and where we go and how do I pray about it because she sees and she hears and so does every godly woman, so does every woman of excellence. That's what he's saying.
35:08 Strength and dignity are clothing. Now notice this, and she smiles at the future. I mean, no matter how bad things are gonna get, she's not afraid. She's smiling. She belongs to the Lord. She knows, hey, my best days are
35:19 ahead of me. Everybody that's around me, their best days are ahead of them too because I'm bringing value to all the people around me. She smiles at the future and notices how she speaks. She opens her mouth in wisdom
35:31 and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. So what's that mean? It means when she opens her mouth, she speaks from experience that she knows how to live godly. Wisdom is
35:43 living with excellence. It's knowing what to do. And how does she do it? She does it with kindness. She's not a bully. She's not a boss. She's not putting people down. She is a godly woman that is filled
35:55 with kindness and her life demonstrates that she's lived right, so she's demonstrating here's how you live and here's what it looks like and here's what you wanna think about, and she's able to dispense all sorts of
36:04 wisdom. When you're around a woman who's older and more seasoned in the Lord and she's speaking, there's things that she can say and tell you that she knows about because of how long she's walked with the Lord. This is
36:14 what a woman of excellence looks like. This is what a godly wife looks like in her family. And notice this, not only is she catalytic with character, but verseShow more
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