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Balancing Work and Family Time as A Married Couple | BEYOND I DO PODCAST S1E41
June 27, 2024 · 56 min
In our journey of faith and marriage, we often face challenges balancing our personal ambitions with family responsibilities. This conversation highlights the importance of mutual support and understanding between spouses, especially when one partner has a demanding career or calling.
We're reminded of the biblical principle of 'two becoming one' in marriage, and how this unity can be strengthened through open communication and shared goals.
Ashlee demonstrates a Christ-like attitude of sacrifice and support, recognizing Adam's calling and choosing to be a 'team player' in their shared mission.
We're encouraged to reflect on our own relationships and consider how we can better support our partners' God-given purposes while maintaining a healthy family life.
Let us know in the comments below, what are some practices you have implemented in your marriage to help manage busy schedules?
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Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
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BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
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Dave Ramsey Course https://www.ramseysolutions.com/ramseyplus/hosts/alfcranchoca?pc=78239020
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We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
#love #marriage #family #podcast #faith
Series Beyond the Letter
Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
June 27, 2024 · 56 min · Beyond the Letter
In our journey of faith and marriage, we often face challenges balancing our personal ambitions with family responsibilities. This conversation highlights the importance of mutual support and understanding between spouses, especially when one partner has a demanding career or calling. We're reminded of the biblical principle of 'two becoming one' in marriage, and how this unity can be strengthened through open communication and shared goals. Ashlee demonstrates a Christ-like attitude of sacrifice and support, recognizing Adam's calling and choosing to be a 'team player' in their shared mission. We're encouraged to reflect on our own relationships and consider how we can better support our partners' God-given purposes while maintaining a healthy family life. Let us know in the comments below, what are some practices you have implemented in your marriage to help manage busy schedules? -- Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below! https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo _ BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do -- Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== -- Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.ido Tik Tok @beyond.ido -- Dave Ramsey Course https://www.ramseysolutions.com/ramseyplus/hosts/alfcranchoca?pc=78239020 -- We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett. How to get the exclusive discount? SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en https://bybarnett.com #love #marriage #family #podcast #faith ...more Show the full description Show less In our journey of faith and marriage, we often face challenges balancing our personal ambitions with family responsibilities. This conversation highlights the importance of mutual support and understanding between spouses, especially when one partner has a demanding career or calling.
We're reminded of the biblical principle of 'two becoming one' in marriage, and how this unity can be strengthened through open communication and shared goals.
Ashlee demonstrates a Christ-like attitude of sacrifice and support, recognizing Adam's calling and choosing to be a 'team player' in their shared mission.
We're encouraged to reflect on our own relationships and consider how we can better support our partners' God-given purposes while maintaining a healthy family life.
Let us know in the comments below, what are some practices you have implemented in your marriage to help manage busy schedules?
--
Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
_
BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do
--
Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa
https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
--
Don't forget to stay connected with us:
Instagram @beyond.ido
Tik Tok @beyond.ido
--
Dave Ramsey Course https://www.ramseysolutions.com/ramseyplus/hosts/alfcranchoca?pc=78239020
--
We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
#love #marriage #family #podcast #faith
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In this video 0:00 Navigating Daily Reflections and Relationships13:50 Balancing Ambition and Family Life
Navigating Daily Reflections and Relationships 0:12 First, I'll start with what Andy's mom with the conviction because I always try to do a self reflection of, like, how was I today? Like, how was on a scale of 1 to 10, in 10 being the worst0:23 and 1 being good, I'll say that. I think because if you're you're you're not first, you're last.0:29 Okay.0:29 So 1 is my good. I'm gonna do this. 10 is, like, at the heighten of anger and mad. Like, that's I'm I was at a 10. Did you guys that you're explaining? Yeah. So so yesterday0:41 so every day, though, I try to go through my day of, like, okay. Have a self reflection. I go home at night, and I'm laying in bed. And I'm not looking at my phone. And I'm like, okay. How were you as a mom, as a wife,0:53 as a friend? Do you think you did well? Or what areas do you think you can improve on? Well, yet this morning, I was convicted because I always feel like I have my phone always on me, or I'm always1:05 looking at it. And it's dumb stuff. It's clothes. It's Pinterest. It's it's TikTok. It's laughing. It's Bridgerton that I'm on right now and all of these things. So yesterday, I was thinking about it when I was picking1:16 up the boys or picked up Matthias. I was like, did I have my phone in my hand the whole time when I was talking to your mom? And was I talking to her, or was I looking at my phone and not engaged while talking to1:27 her? So now I'm like so, obviously, I know you're going to get Matthias, but I'm gonna talk to her the next day and or when I see her tomorrow and just apologize because I'm like, I don't know if I was or I wasn't, but
1:37 there's something within me where I know I was not paying attention to her. Mhmm. And so that was for me where I was like, I need to do better is making sure that if I'm in a room, it's 1 of those things where you go to
1:47 a counter at what what people find it very disrespectful. If you go to a grocery store and you're on the phone and the person that's checking you out is just staring you down or looking at you, or even if you go, I went
1:56 to Kaiser and it says, please put your phone away while we're well, yeah, while while we're handling your medication or anything because you need to be paying attention. So I I need to be more mindful that if I'm in a
2:07 social setting to put my phone down that So
2:09 what did we get an argument about 2
2:10 nights ago? I I don't because it was a self reflection because I was laughing because of my self reflection because I know that day. I was probably like that you said I was yelling a lot. And so then I was like, okay.
2:20 I'm probably at, like, an 8 right now, so it's pretty bad. But we started arguing because and I was just talking to Nancy about how in marriage sometimes arguments start off the start off from the
2:32 dumbest things. Correct. Always. And so I don't know. Thomas was just screaming, like, just I don't know why. Oh, 0, because we didn't get ice cream because, oh my gosh, that was He
2:43 promised him ice cream, and then he had to go poop. So we just drove home instead of getting him ice cream. So he was really upset about it. Yes.
2:49 And so then he was upset about it. And so he screamed probably, like, for a good 10, 15 minutes. So from him screaming and just being so loud of, like, this house is loud. And so then you came around the corner and
3:00 you're like, hey. So you scared me. Scared Thomas. Startled him. And then I was, like, kind of mad that you scared me because I was like,
3:12 you don't scare me. Yeah.
3:13 I was like, that's enough. That's enough. And I
3:15 was like, okay. And then you go to the couch and you're like, where's the remote? And I was like, oh. And I'm now this time, mind you, I'm on my phone. So I was like, I don't know. He's like, why don't you just put the
3:27 remote back? There's 2 side tables over here. There's a remote. I was like, I don't know where the remote is. Maybe if you put on your eyes.
3:32 Like, when you get up and you're like now mind you, like It's you. Mind you. No. No. Here here's how people don't really know how people with ADHD work is
3:44 is the way someone with ADHD works is we have a space in our space that is a messy space, but then everything else has to actually be really tidy.
3:56 Like, we don't live in complete chaos. There has to be a space that is chaotic. So, like, I have a room in our house that is my chaotic space. And no matter how much the the only way to fix it is medication,
4:08 which I refuse to take. So you have to find ways to compensate. But everything outside of that 1 chaos space actually has to be pretty,
4:19 like, orderly and and and tidy. And so and so, like, this idea that, like, let's just say I'm done. We're watch done watching TV for the night. So this is my routine
4:31 every night. We're closing down the house. I go to every room. I make sure all the lights are shut off. I make sure that, you know, some everything's put away. I make sure that
4:43 for the most part, all the doors are locked, everything like that. Mind you, like, Ashley, not a she'll leave all the lights on downstairs and go to bed. She'll
4:53 I'm that person that, like, turns the lights off and runs upstairs. Like, it's almost a chase. But they're all
4:58 on half the time. She doesn't know have the understand the concept electricity bill or really any bill for that matter up when it comes to the house. So, like, to me, I'm like, okay. We're downstairs.
5:11 We're done watching TV. We're gonna get the boys ready to bed. Okay. So I turn off the speaker. I turn off the TV. I put the remote somewhere that's somewhat logical, you know. So it's, like, gonna be
5:22 right under the TV or it's gonna be right on the armrest where, like, the couches. It's, like, okay. Everything you have to find, you know where it's at. Consistently, 6,
5:34 7 times a week, which there's only 7 days in a week. 6, 7 times a week is like, hey. I saw you watching TV last night in our room, Ashley, because we got this, like, this little mini sofa in our room where we watch with
5:46 the boys and stuff like that. I'm like, hey. I saw you watching TV last night. Where's the remote? She's like, how would I know? And I'm like, because you turned off the TV and put the boys to bed last night. What do you
5:57 mean how would you know where the TV and always her first answer is, I don't know. It's not like, oh, let me yeah. You're right. I was watching. Let me think about it for a second. Look. She
6:09 thinks that if just if she doesn't know where it's at, like, she has no responsibility to know where it's at. And it's like, but you were the last person who touched it. Why would I so she's like, just look around. And
6:20 I'm like, why would I do that if you know where it's at? So that's what happened. 2 days we're getting this argument because I'm like I
6:28 know where it was at. I'm like, where
6:30 is it at? And she's like, well, just look for it. I'm like, or you can put your phone down, spend 10 seconds thinking, and she goes, oh, it's right here, and reaches to her side table, grabs it, and goes, here it
6:42 is. Why'd you get so mad? I'm like, that's why I got mad.
6:46 Because it was standing right there. Why didn't you and then prior to that day that so now that was in the night. But during the day, we were downstairs, and he's like he's just sitting on his phone, and he's
6:57 like, I was like, what's your problem? I was like, I came by. I just have my phone too, and he's like, can't find the remote. I was like, did you look for it? He's like, I'm not gonna sit here and turn over all these
7:09 couches for it to be where it should be. I was like, oh, okay. So I was like, well, just so you know, it's over on the highchair,
7:18 which is, like, not even by the TV. So I'm thinking, like, how do you you got off the couch with the remote in your hand and go, oh, this can go here, which is, like, by our front door. So I was just,
7:30 like, how and so for someone with ADHD, like, that because the moment something is chaotic and it's just, like, I don't know where it's at. Because someone with ADHD, a a space may appear to be messy, but they
7:42 know where everything is. They they have every recollection of where every sock is, every shoe is. And so then for someone who, like, just goes, oh, no. It's just messy. I don't
7:54 know where it's at. It that, like, riles us up because it's, like, even if it's messy, you should know where it's at. Even if it's, you know, like, you should always know where someone's at. What do you mean this morning
8:04 you had it? Like, where is it right now? So Ashley would be like, it's not like you put everything. I'm like, but the moment you ask me, I always have an answer. The moment you're like, oh, where's it? Oh, it's upstairs
8:15 by the I'll go grab it for you. Like, you you just go like, I don't remember. And it's like, but you had it an hour ago. How do you not remember where This is definitely
8:24 at I think this is definitely a a topic of conversation though within relationships because my my brother told me the same thing that he was looking for a belt the other day. And my sister-in-law was like, I don't know.
8:35 I don't know. I don't know where it is, aunt. I don't know. And and then he goes, I need it. Like, this is a specialty belt that I need. He goes, why was it folded up in, you know, the shoe rack that collapses
8:47 it? It was in there. But, like, that's what I was gonna say too because I'm sure a lot of wives, when you just see something sitting out, you just wanna put it away because you think you're tidying it up. And then
8:56 sometimes I just forget where I put it because, like, your tailor scissors still can't find them.
9:04 Yeah.
9:04 He yells at me every time. He cuts clothes, like, probably 3 times a week, and he's like if and he's like, like, ripping it. And I was like No.
9:12 So I bought these, like, really nice on Amazon. They weren't expensive, but they were, like, scissors tailors used. They're like huge, they're thick, they cut a lot. And then I told her 1 day and I bought her a pack of
9:22 like 3 scissors from like Home Depot. And so I'm like, hey, these scissors are yours. This take this 1 tailor scissor is is mine. Like, I always wanna know where it's at. And she's like, okay. No
9:34 problem. Like, a month later, she's, like, doing a project with Matthias, and she's got this, like, 6 inch Taylor scissor she's, like, using for it. And I'm going, where are all the scissors I got you? And she's like, I
9:45 don't know. And I'm like, but I asked you, like, not to touch those. And she's like, I'm gonna put them right back a week later. And this was, like, 4 months ago.
9:57 Yeah. She we still don't know where those scissors are at. And they're huge.
10:01 They're massive.
10:02 And they're sharp. And I consistently I like, where are these scissors? She's like, I don't know where I put them. And I'm like, it's 1 thing if you threw something on mine that I had laying out and okay. You don't
10:12 remember it, but it's like, you had it. You had it, not me. It's not like someone was on the counter and you just threw it. It's like you were in possession of it. How do you not know? I I know almost everything I have
10:24 possession of, where it is to a t. Even if it's under the bed, I know where it's at. You don't know where anything is at.
10:31 The thing is I don't know where your stuff is at.
10:34 No. You don't, you know, you don't even know where your stuff is at.
10:37 I don't know where his stuff is at. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Because I'll put it away and you'll be like, where'd you put it? I'm like, I don't remember.
10:46 Yeah. It doesn't make any sense
10:47 to me. I think I put it somewhere where I'm gonna remember and then I forget because I already put 12 other things away. But yeah. So yeah. So that but but I'll all this I'll say this, though, too, is that the argument
10:59 ended up just being funny because then after we just watched Ghostbusters together.
11:03 Yeah. I mean, we we don't hold on to arguments long. It's just No.
11:07 Because then we start laughing.
11:08 Just, or the 1 of the boys says something.
11:10 And you know, or I'll be like, oh, make sure you put that remote away.
11:16 Mind you, I know where exactly it's at because I last had it right now. I know exactly where the phone. I was like, how can you not put the remote on the, like, there there's the TV console. Put it on the
11:28 console. We have 2 side tables. Mhmm.
11:30 Put it
11:30 on the side, like, what is it doing in our bathroom? That's what I don't understand. Like, why why is the remote in our bathroom?
11:37 I don't know. I think I turned it off and walked with it and was like, oh.
11:39 Yeah. Well, it's like, what is this
11:41 doing here?
11:44 So I on everything. Look. I got roosters, like, training thing for those watching on YouTube. I don't have these on particularly for me. I have Apple AirTags on everything because of her. Yeah.
11:56 Because she'll grab this and use this and be like, I don't know where it's at. Why would I know where it's at? That's your dog. And I'll be like, because you were using it. What do you mean why would you know where that
12:06 it was in your hand last. So her keys have Apple AirTags because she loses them every 10 seconds. My key but not because of me. Because she grabs that stuff all the time and loses it.
12:17 Say, Tony.
12:18 So I'd we're dinging Airpad AirPod pad, whatever these are, AirTags. We're dinging AirTags all day at our house.
12:26 Ding. Airpod. So do you did you know this about each other? Or you find this out, like, after You find this out. After. Dang. So you can't find this out?
12:34 Well, unless you're a sinner and you're testing the car out living with someone, but but,
12:39 Yeah. Okay. No. Scratch that out. If you're not living if you're not living with somebody, you technically can't find
12:44 out certain
12:44 things until you, like, get a car.
12:46 Even find out.
12:47 It really would be.
12:48 But, like, you'll see people probably put in the comments, like, this mirrors 80 percent of relationships.
12:53 Oh, yeah.
12:54 Whether it's the guy or the girl or what you know, like, roles may reverse. A guy a girl may be like, oh, that's my husband. That's like Ashley or whatever. Like, that those are yeah. I guess it's stereotypical
13:05 relationship stuff you deal with. You know? So it's like, some of these things, there's just no way to avoid. You you just have to learn how to argue well, communicate well, like, you know, get over stuff
13:16 well, like, just that's the nature of the beast. Makeup well. Yeah. Makeup well. Like, all those things like that. You're not gonna there's no way couples go, like, oh, I'm just trying to avoid, you know, blank. And it's
13:28 just like, oh, it's probably add some kids in the mix, ask add, you know, crazy work schedule.
13:34 Add someone not getting ice cream, screaming. Yeah.
13:36 It's like, you're gonna I'm gonna go Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
13:39 Yeah. Sounds good. Question.
13:41 Oh, yeah. Okay, everybody. Welcome to Beyond. I do thank you so much for joining us. Hopefully, you relate to that first bit of conversation. Yeah. I'm sure it's a common thingShow more
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