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Love, Discipline, and the Blended Family Journey | BEYOND I DO S1E19 {VIDEO}
January 25, 2024 · 51 min
We have the dynamic duo back on the pod! Grab your tea or coffee and strap in because this episode was a GOOD one...
Pastor Adam and Ashlee were joined by Pastor Aaron and his wife Erica Levy for a RIVETING conversation on the unique dynamics in blended families and navigating the territory between biological and non-biological kids, and the real talk about transparency as relationships evolve. They didn't hold back with personal stories about blended families and the reality of bringing a new father role into the family dynamic .
This episode is packed with the keys to rock solid parenting. We're breaking down the importance of communication, consistency, and leading by example. Brace yourself for some serious counseling session insights, uncovering the gap between a parent's perspective and their kid's reality. Plus, we're spicing it up with tips on creating a space for kids to express themselves and dishing out some serious wisdom on emotional maturity and relationship skills.
If this episode answered some questions you didn't know you had, let us know! We want to hear your thoughts.
--
Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
--
BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do
--
Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
--
Connect with Pastor Aaron and Erica
Pastor Aaron Levy https://www.instagram.com/_aaronlevy/?img_index=1
Erica Levy https://www.instagram.com/erica.levy_np/
Daily Drip IG: https://www.instagram.com/dailydrip.faith/
Daily Drip Youtube Channel: https://youtube.com/@DailyDripPodcast?si=1t3Seiz3ihcWRR0O
Proverbs: 31 Daily Drips of Wisdom Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BW2KJN4G?ref_=cm_sw_r_ud_dp_Q13FB4JSBE538GQ73P9M
--
Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa
https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
--
Don't forget to stay connected with us:
Instagram @beyond.ido
Tik Tok @beyond.ido
Series Beyond the Letter
Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
January 25, 2024 · 51 min · Beyond the Letter
We have the dynamic duo back on the pod! Grab your tea or coffee and strap in because this episode was a GOOD one... Pastor Adam and Ashlee were joined by Pastor Aaron and his wife Erica Levy for a RIVETING conversation on the unique dynamics in blended families and navigating the territory between biological and non-biological kids, and the real talk about transparency as relationships evolve. They didn't hold back with personal stories about blended families and the reality of bringing a new father role into the family dynamic . This episode is packed with the keys to rock solid parenting. We're breaking down the importance of communication, consistency, and leading by example. Brace yourself for some serious counseling session insights, uncovering the gap between a parent's perspective and their kid's reality. Plus, we're spicing it up with tips on creating a space for kids to express themselves and dishing out some serious wisdom on emotional maturity and relationship skills. If this episode answered some questions you didn't know you had, let us know! We want to hear your thoughts. -- Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett. How to get the exclusive discount? SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en https://bybarnett.com -- BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do -- Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below! https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo -- Connect with Pastor Aaron and Erica Pastor Aaron Levy https://www.instagram.com/_aaronlevy/?img_index=1 Erica Levy https://www.instagram.com/erica.levy_np/ Daily Drip IG: https://www.instagram.com/dailydrip.faith/ Daily Drip Youtube Channel: https://youtube.com/@DailyDripPodcast?si=1t3Seiz3ihcWRR0O Proverbs: 31 Daily Drips of Wisdom Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BW2KJN4G?ref_=cm_sw_r_ud_dp_Q13FB4JSBE538GQ73P9M -- Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== -- Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.ido Tik Tok @beyond.ido ...more Show the full description Show less We have the dynamic duo back on the pod! Grab your tea or coffee and strap in because this episode was a GOOD one...
Pastor Adam and Ashlee were joined by Pastor Aaron and his wife Erica Levy for a RIVETING conversation on the unique dynamics in blended families and navigating the territory between biological and non-biological kids, and the real talk about transparency as relationships evolve. They didn't hold back with personal stories about blended families and the reality of bringing a new father role into the family dynamic .
This episode is packed with the keys to rock solid parenting. We're breaking down the importance of communication, consistency, and leading by example. Brace yourself for some serious counseling session insights, uncovering the gap between a parent's perspective and their kid's reality. Plus, we're spicing it up with tips on creating a space for kids to express themselves and dishing out some serious wisdom on emotional maturity and relationship skills.
If this episode answered some questions you didn't know you had, let us know! We want to hear your thoughts.
--
Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
--
BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do
--
Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
--
Connect with Pastor Aaron and Erica
Pastor Aaron Levy https://www.instagram.com/_aaronlevy/?img_index=1
Erica Levy https://www.instagram.com/erica.levy_np/
Daily Drip IG: https://www.instagram.com/dailydrip.faith/
Daily Drip Youtube Channel: https://youtube.com/@DailyDripPodcast?si=1t3Seiz3ihcWRR0O
Proverbs: 31 Daily Drips of Wisdom Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BW2KJN4G?ref_=cm_sw_r_ud_dp_Q13FB4JSBE538GQ73P9M
--
Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa
https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
--
Don't forget to stay connected with us:
Instagram @beyond.ido
Tik Tok @beyond.ido
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In this video 0:00 Navigating Relationships and Boundaries20:44 Blended Families and Parenting
Navigating Relationships and Boundaries 0:12 I'm gonna make my time. Drinking lemonade right now, Eric?0:15 Eric? A hibiscus Rock. Something. What is it? Bushfire right down the street.0:19 Oh,0:19 bro. Oh, nice. Bushfire is bomb.0:21 Yeah.0:22 It was very good.0:22 Shall we?0:23 Very good. Very, very good.0:25 It it lacks a certain amount of flavor, but I like it. You know?0:28 Not the dipping out what you get. The empanadas and the sweet potato fries are bomb. Those have You0:32 said the food0:33 the food lacks flavor? A little bit. What do you use? More like I've gotten quite a few things. I've, you know, I don't I've gotten it0:41 What is lacking? Like seasoning? Like salt?0:46 Like like for spice, salt, you know, pepper. Just, like, it's a kind of a little like, it's a little bland. Like, I've gotten their chicken stuff before. Even their Thai thing, their Thai the Thai the Thai thing is,0:57 like, good, but it's, like, a white man's good. You know? It's not, like, it's not, like, super flavorful, you know?
1:02 Fire. I'm sure.
1:03 And then I've gotten, like, the grilled chicken bowl, and the grilled chicken was literally, like, like, body builder grilled chicken, you know, like, this conversation. I mean, you know, like
1:12 Their empanadas are good.
1:13 I like them.
1:14 The empanadas are yeah. They're decent.
1:16 But I would say yes with the chicken rammer cinadas chicken sandwich.
1:19 Yes. It looked drier than dry.
1:20 Dry. So that's thank you guys. Thank you for seeing
1:22 my my my way. I don't who orders chicken? Unless it's from Chick fil A or Raising Danes.
1:30 Well, I mean Like, get the steak
1:32 or the tri tip.
1:33 Yeah. Yeah. I've got the tri tip. It it's
1:36 you know? Oh, 0, gosh.
1:37 It's a piece of tri tip. It didn't have, you know come on. It did I like that. I got a tri
1:43 tip salad. So we'll we'll we'll cut that out.
1:44 But did
1:45 the tri tip taste like We're about to we're gonna see.
1:47 I've eaten it.
1:48 So hold you. Eat it yet. No. Yeah. So let's eat it right now and give us a little bit. Give us a little bit of meat right now. Give it for him, Alex. Before we jump into Beyond ID right now, guys, we're gonna stop and
1:58 have a little Beyond the Letter moment real quick because I got like, you gotta tell me, does the meat not the salad when you put the dressing on it and everything like that. Does the meat have flavor? Because
2:10 I like this place, but I don't like it for flavor. I like it because it's pretty clean. Like, it's just a clean eating. In
2:15 the bag though.
2:16 You don't know what
2:16 Am I eating it too?
2:17 I just need a review. Yeah. I I
2:18 just need to hear
2:19 from you whether the meat Good in this. Has flavor.
2:22 Well, for 1, they give you 4 little pieces of carnitas. That's not seen. Like, not even 4 ounces. For his spider. It
2:31 went from you guys giving it a 10 out of 10 to me and you all eating my head for even remotely considering
2:38 I'm just gonna get a little piece of Yeah.
2:40 I just need, like, little Are we just, like,
2:41 an asthma or leak?
2:43 Yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm a need them. Somebody mute me, please. It's not. No. That's part of it. No. You can't put nothing on it.
2:50 Oh, nothing on it?
2:50 No. Just the meat.
2:51 Just the meat. Not your so, like, I need is the meat flavorful? Is there flavor in the meat? Because that was my point was that it's kind of bland. It's just
3:01 No. Mine has some flavor. I wouldn't say it's, like, super seasoned, but it is.
3:07 Yo. You wanna offer me a I would give it. Yeah. Yeah. Cut me a piece, and I'll and I'll and I'll try.
3:11 That's good.
3:12 Yeah. Yeah. 7 out
3:14 of 10. Do you believe that's very high?
3:15 That's very high. Good try.
3:16 Guys, just so you know, this is another part of marriage right here is
3:19 Let's see.
3:20 Me trying to prove my point.
3:21 No. No. I don't believe it.
3:23 It's it's
3:25 And if you didn't
3:26 know what taste like tripping. Let it
3:28 get in here yet. You literally just go
3:31 For
3:31 meat, it's good. It tastes like meat, but it I don't taste Well, you're not taste like any other seasoning. I can't be like, oh, yeah. I taste garlic in that. Oh, yeah. I taste Yeah. I think salt
3:41 and pepper in that.
3:42 I'll go for your next piece because you hungry.
3:44 No. No. No. I'll wait because I wanna enjoy
3:46 my Yeah. Thinking. Enjoy it. Okay. Have fun. Alright. It will
3:49 be Anyway.
3:50 For joining and then we'll be partaking that with a spin in haircut.
3:53 7. That's my splitting.
3:54 You like a 5.
3:56 Wow. In flavor. Still.
3:57 Not in taste
3:58 once you put the dress.
3:59 Wow.
4:00 I mean, five's like, yeah. Like, you know.
4:02 Yeah. I was watching Keith leave the other day. He gave someone a 3 on their burger. Eyesight.
4:07 It's very yeah. It's very accurate.
4:09 Who's burger? It was some random it was just like a random mom and pop. And they they were like, you have to come to my mom and pop shop. And then he came, and he was like, this is nasty.
4:18 Yeah.
4:19 A 3 is like, I'm just gonna give you credit for you being open, but literally
4:23 Very unfortunate. But, hey, 'tis his life. Yes. 'tis his life, everybody. Alright. Did we did we have a a a, oh.
4:31 So we have someone that came in.
4:33 Nancy just said we have new questions. I just sent a text out.
4:36 There's there's 1 that's a whole
4:37 novel, but I just Really?
4:39 But no. I didn't send it in.
4:40 Was that the text you sent it? Oh, you didn't even send it?
4:42 I didn't send it.
4:43 Oh. I mean,
4:43 if you want me to, I can. It's just We're being real here.
4:47 Okay. There's a single question which I
4:49 am gonna keep it 100 today.
4:52 Yeah. Erica wasn't happy with how she kept it last time.
4:55 So just trying to be, you know Encouraging. Yeah. Well, I never want to
5:00 Quietly encouraging.
5:01 Yeah. Like, cause division between a relationship.
5:05 Yeah. But there was already division. We should've just cut we should've just put the nail in the in the coffin.
5:12 Yeah. I mean,
5:13 what do you mean? Should I mean, maybe we could double down with another question. What was our last podcast? What did we talk about? Because I always like going, like, oh, a little marriage here, a little dating here, a
5:22 little marriage here. Last time
5:23 we talked about
5:24 Not not ours. 1 that came out. Like, our actual last episode.
5:27 Them. Ours was we were both sick looking at each other.
5:31 We we we
5:33 I don't even think our thought process came.
5:35 It was I thought it was a very good episode. It was
5:37 the TikTok 1. The last
5:38 1 that we aired was the 8 the reflection before the new year.
5:41 That was with Aaron and their No.
5:44 No. The 1 that's gonna air,
5:46 it was the women posting on Instagram. Why why why do women post selfies on Instagram if you're married?
5:52 Well, I thought yeah. I thought that 1 was pretty good.
5:55 That, yeah. A 10 inches.
5:56 That's what I got. I
5:57 was like, maybe 1 selfie a month. Like, that's not bad. You know, like, that's fine. Post a selfie, like, you got you know, you can make you look at 1 selfie mic.
6:04 My what's my Instagram? Do I have selfies?
6:07 Oh. We'll we'll be real.
6:08 Aaron does Aaron have selfies. Let me phone 1.
6:11 Okay. No. Men posting selfies, that's questionable. That's
6:15 Why is that questionable? Like, what?
6:17 If you ever post
6:18 I can't look good. You could look good and post yourself, but I can't look good at
6:21 I'll say that the selfies that I've posted have been, like, repost from, like, collaborations that he's done.
6:27 Yeah. Yeah.
6:27 Yeah. Other than that, look at no selfies.
6:29 Yeah. Okay. No.
6:30 I don't need no one's attention, but my man's attention.
6:33 I'm downloading Instagram right now.
6:35 Oh, yeah. I found a selfie. For your, where let's see. What how how long ago?
6:41 20 20. Oh, yeah. Because that's probably because I was lonely during COVID. Okay.
6:45 Talk to me. You're still married. You're still married. Who are you talking to? True. True. Anybody on the other side? Okay. I'm gonna get I'm
6:57 gonna give you guys the option. Alright? I'm a I'm a I'm a give you guys the option. Okay? Because we have good ones, but I want I want to see what you guys wanna do. Okay. Since you guys launched off our original
7:09 blended family 1, I have some blended family questions. People doubled back with questions from that episode. Okay. Now we could do that or we could obviously do that any episode. Right? Have you come
7:20 back and re fixate, like, a really full blended family episode again? So we could hit hit there's 2 very good blended family questions. Then there's,
7:32 a marriage question, which is what are the what are good foundations of a healthy marriage? Okay? So there's 1, 2 that's a good just oh, we could talk about that for days. And then there's 1
7:44 that Nancy text, which was more in that single realm, you know, someone wrestling through that that season of picking the right person. And so that question is I was engaged to the man who's
7:56 now my boyfriend and broke things off due to infidelity and lies. We took a year break and decided to date again. We started attending church to grow closer to God, then recently was lied to again. How do you know when
8:07 it's time to let go or keep pushing through the flaws?
8:10 You I
8:11 already answered your question. So, bishop Aaron of Canterbury I think I think the last time we were
8:19 on here, we talked about a situation like that. So I say I would say the first or the second.
8:24 Okay. So, Erica, answer this 1 for this girl the way you wanted to the last podcast, which was the question she just asked. Do that real fast.
8:33 He lied to you once. You took him back, and now he lied to you again. That's a big red, ding, ding, ding.
8:41 Yes.
8:41 Girl, you need to cut your ties. Because if he really wanted to make it work, then he wouldn't have lied.
8:48 I don't
8:48 care what it is. Don't lie.
8:50 Yep. And as George w w Bush says Oh. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice.
8:56 Shame on you, baby.
8:57 Shame on however he say he messes it up though. He messes it like a funny way. Yeah.
9:01 So, girl Yeah. Cut it.
9:03 You ain't married? Cut it. Yeah.
9:05 Okay. No. Hey, man. Yeah. Yes. Listen. Listen.
9:08 I'm I'm gonna be so real.
9:10 Sorry. I'm okay. To me to me, if there's no well, I'm I'm the harshest with that. To me, if there's no ring on the finger, I'm like a 1 strike policy person. Damn. I'm like, 1 strike. Like, that's
9:22 it. And we're talking about a pretty big strike. So so to me, you cheating on a girl while dating That's a big strike. 1 strike. That's 1 strike. You know, like, I don't even need to get back to you. Like, that's 1
9:33 strike. I was I had a dream. No. 1 strike. Stop. Stop. 1 strike. You're done. Move on.
9:38 Now mind you, people can change.
9:41 But that's
9:41 that's that's
9:42 for them.
9:42 That's for them and
9:43 God. Yeah.
9:44 Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.
9:44 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
9:46 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't
9:48 know. I Hundred percent.
9:54 For sure. But I would argue that that girl said, do I know his work through the flaws? I would say you don't know his flaws because you don't know him yet if he's still lying.
10:03 Right. Well, hundred percent. And there's 1 big flaw is And that's not
10:06 I I don't think that's her flaw to work through. He clearly has Yes. His own flaw
10:11 to work through. 1 time, a young man in the church told me he broke they broke up with this girl, and he said I should've known 6 months ago it wasn't gonna work out. And I said, why? We'll have it 6 months ago. He said,
10:22 because 1 night after I took her home from a date, she talked to her boy her ex boyfriend for 4 hours. And she told me the next night, because she felt bad, that she called her ex boyfriend and they caught up. Did they
10:33 dated for, like, you know, 5, 6 years. And he said, and he said they they, they talked to and she told me next night because she felt bad and wanted to let me know she wouldn't do it again. And I go, why didn't you
10:45 tell me that? And he goes, because I know you were you would have pressured me to break up with her. And I I didn't want to. Yeah. And so I was like, well, there you go. You know? You you you call I'm
10:57 dating you and you get call your ex boyfriend for 4 hours and catch up. Go go marry him. Bye. There was 1 time. That, like, it's all
11:04 Yeah. There was 1 time we were at a
11:06 Move on.
11:06 We were in our situation shit. We're dating. We yeah. And I got a call from someone guy that I used to hang out with. And mind you, gullible me
11:17 Yep.
11:18 I'm just like, oh, he's just my friend. Like, wasn't doing anything with the guy. Me and Aaron were already hanging out. And he called. He's like, who's that calling? I was like, oh, it's so and so. And he's like, he
11:29 wants to hook up. And I was like, no, he don't. He just wanna talk. Okay. Tell him that you're with your boyfriend and see if he calls you back. So when I answered, like, hey, what what are you doing? Blah blah blah. Oh,
11:39 I'm hanging out with my boyfriend. And he's like, oh, alright. I'll talk to you later. Never heard from him again.
11:46 For real? Yeah. October. Ashley has a friend a friend who very famous professional football player and friends. But she was like, oh, he's flying my parents out and taking
11:58 us to a game and blah blah. Me and her are dating. And the whole time she's there, because I'm Hispanic, he's calling me, oh, how's your burrito? How's your quesadilla? You know? Oh, how's your enchilada? Like, oh, when
12:09 you go out with your enchilada, is that what you know? Dude's just, like, totally ragging on me. Right? And Ashley's telling me, oh, this is what he's saying blah blah blah blah. I'm like, bro. So so
12:21 so she comes back and sure enough I sit her down. Because at first I'm like, it's cool. It's a friend. But the moment those jokes came Yeah. That means he's definitely not feeling that. He's he's Yeah. You know, he he's
12:30 putting a line in the sand. So I told her, why are you got you guys are friends. Why are you guys not together? Oh, because he likes me, but I never reciprocated. Yeah. I said, okay. Well, here's a
12:42 boundary. If he continues to be your friend, we're not rocking no more. So you make that choice. You let me know. I'm good. But I have boundaries. I have respect for myself. If he wants to call me a burrito, he wants to
12:54 call me an enchilada. He could do whatever he wants. If you ever talk or hang out with him again, you do whatever you want. But you and I, you don't call me back. No. Don't call me. Yeah. Yeah. And Ashley was like, no.
13:05 I'm good. And she you know, I don't know whether you talk to him or what. I don't know what happened or you just stop talking to him or whatever. But I it was just I was like, there's that's a boundary for me. Yeah. You
13:15 you I'm cool if it was really truly because she had a couple guy friends that were, like, totally platonic friendships that even up until us married and he had, like, hey, just wanna check-in. I'm, like, totally fine
13:27 with. Even though I don't eventually, we put that boundary which is, like, we're not gonna talk to the opposite sex in general. But leading up to him, like, it doesn't bother me at all. But the moment it was getting a
13:37 feeling that he's being disrespectful to me,
13:50 nice. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I agree.
13:52 I think women are, we we tend to just be so compassionate and nurturing. And so, like, when we have No.Show more
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