Skip to content How to Keep Christ at the Center of Your Wedding | S2E40 BEYOND I DO PODCAST Jul 17 · 57 min ...more
How to Keep Christ at the Center of Your Wedding | S2E40 BEYOND I DO PODCAST
July 17, 2025 · 57 min
Weddings are beautiful — but they’re not just about the flowers, the dress, or the guest list. In this week’s episode, we talk about what it means to enter marriage as a sacred covenant, not just a celebration. From the meaning of communion at your ceremony to the weight of commitment before God, this convo challenges couples to keep Christ at the center — even in the chaos of planning.If you’re engaged, dating, or even already married, this one will reframe how you see your wedding day and the lifelong promise that follows.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com
Series Beyond the Letter
Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
July 17, 2025 · 57 min · Beyond the Letter
Weddings are beautiful — but they’re not just about the flowers, the dress, or the guest list. In this week’s episode, we talk about what it means to enter marriage as a sacred covenant, not just a celebration. From the meaning of communion at your ceremony to the weight of commitment before God, this convo challenges couples to keep Christ at the center — even in the chaos of planning.If you’re engaged, dating, or even already married, this one will reframe how you see your wedding day and the lifelong promise that follows.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com ...more Show the full description Show less Weddings are beautiful — but they’re not just about the flowers, the dress, or the guest list. In this week’s episode, we talk about what it means to enter marriage as a sacred covenant, not just a celebration. From the meaning of communion at your ceremony to the weight of commitment before God, this convo challenges couples to keep Christ at the center — even in the chaos of planning.If you’re engaged, dating, or even already married, this one will reframe how you see your wedding day and the lifelong promise that follows.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com
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0:12 Go ahead.0:12 But it no. It's a good welcome everybody to Beyond I Do. Thanks for joining us today. We got a great episode today. We've had some great past episodes. Mhmm. And the last 1 being Eric and0:24 Talia Bradley Mhmm. Was a great episode. Given though and I thought it was on topic because in have we ever featured anyone? Well, I mean, Jermaine0:36 and Jasmine, I'd probably say that's the only couple we featured that we we premaritaled with or or I married. Mhmm. Gabe and Cynthia, but we've never had them on together even though Gabe's cuts and stuff. So I guess0:47 Jermaine and Jasmine would be but I didn't marry Jermaine and Jasmine Anywhere at a time. Because I was traveling. Mhmm. So, yeah, Eric and Talia were the first couple I think we've had that that that I married Yeah.0:58 That I could think of. And I do probably what it every year is different. 6 to 9 weddings a year Yeah. You know, depending1:06 Well, and I was1:06 talking we1:07 were just talking about that with Alize in the car, and I was telling her because her aunt's getting married this year. And I was like, they were looking for venues. 1 ended up flopping out, and so she's getting married1:15 somewhere else. And then I was just like, why didn't you ask us? We've been to almost every venue, and we'll tell you the good, the bad, and the ugly.1:24 Yeah. We're definitely good recommenders. Yeah. At least locally Yeah. Very good. I mean sounds so expensive, though.1:29 Yeah. Where was that 1? Where was that 1? Different.
1:32 It depends on what you're trying to prove and who you're trying to prove it to. That's what it comes down to the end of the day because you can you can do somewhat affordable. I mean, I've done I've married a couple
1:42 before who who who who I still love to this day. They don't live locally, but I married them in their backyard in 20 19 in their dad's backyard. And then a year
1:54 later, because he was in school doing his master's I think that was the story. He was doing his master's. So they wanted to finish school well and not spend a lot of money, but they also wanted to get married. So we had,
2:04 like, maybe 15 people in the backyard. They had food in the kitchen after. We I married him. He made he, like, handmade this nice gazebo, if I remember correctly. And then,
2:16 like, a year and a half later, they got married in Temecula with, a real deal wedding. And he moved that gazebo that he built for the backyard. I think, if I'm not wrong, he brought it to Temecula.
2:28 I don't know.
2:28 And they got married under it, if if I remember right. But I've seen we've seen 1000000 situate I mean, we we I we've seen people that I married that got married at the courthouse.
2:39 Where was that 1 location that was super dope, but we it was super hidden. I was trying to tell her, Alize about it. Danielle and her husband.
2:46 Sweet Pea Ranch.
2:47 Sweet Pea Ranch.
2:48 Where's that at?
2:49 That's by Mount Baldy. Now on your way up to Mount Baldy, there's a little creek. There's 1 there's 1. They they have a barn, and then they have a venue.
2:56 It's super cute.
2:57 The owner's sweet. Yeah. She's really great. She tried hiring me. She was I did. She was like, oh, nothing but old people do weddings nowadays. She's like
3:04 That was the best wedding I've ever been to.
3:05 Yeah. She was that was my fee was my fee was different back then, but this is 8 years ago probably. And she was like, can you do 2 weddings a week for me? And then
3:17 A week? A week. A week.
3:19 A week.
3:20 Because you think I think Thursday, Friday, the majority of the time or Thursday, Saturday Yeah. In order to flip
3:25 her up. Does probably, you know, 10 weddings a week. You know? But, yeah, she was like, would you do 2 a week for me? She's like, what's your fee? And I was like, oh, at the time, it's more now. But at the time, I was
3:36 like, oh, it's normally 500 dollars. And then she was like, oh, normally, I chart normally, I I because she, like, builds it in the thing unless you get someone from outside. But she said most clients just aren't really
3:47 religious, so they just say, oh, yeah. If you have someone to marry us, just, you know, have them. So she's like, normally, I pay 300, and I was like, oh, yeah. I wouldn't really wouldn't do it for anything less. And
3:56 then she was like, okay. Yeah. Well, I would pay you 500 twice a week. And then I was like, yeah, I just don't enjoy weddings. I'm okay. So I literally told her because it's a lot. And so I was like, you know, the phone
4:08 calls, the lead up, everybody wants something different. Everyone has a different culture, a different heritage. You know, I've married people that are Romanian. I've married people that were African. I've married people
4:17 that are Hispanic. And, you know, Hispanics, they they you know, grandma wants them to do this thing and mom wants them to do this thing. And, you know, but then it's a blended family and he, you know, he or she, if
4:28 she's Hispanic, they're marrying an African and in his culture, they so it's like, as a pastor or an officiant, you're you're running so much different stuff that some stuff you've done before, some stuff you haven't.
4:40 So if they if it's not something I haven't, I gotta do research. I gotta study it, make sure we do it right. Right. The you know, sometimes people have wanted stuff done certain aspects done in a different
4:51 language. Like so it's a lot. So I told her, yeah. I'm not I'm not a fan. And then I come in the car because Ashley had, like, headed back to the car. And I said, oh, yeah. She she asked me to do 2 weddings a week for
5:02 her or whatever. And, you know, that's whatever. It's thousand dollars. So Ashley was like, extra 4000 dollars a month? And I was like, yeah. And she's like, you gotta do that. I'm like, you? Like You gotta do that. I'm
5:14 like, yeah.
5:14 It's easy
5:14 for you to say. Don't worry. I don't enjoy it.
5:18 Like, they're 25 minutes.
5:20 No. Yeah. Right. You're there 2 hours early. You do 4 to 5 phone calls ahead of time. You gotta build a a a wedding script because everybody wants something different. Nope. Nobody
5:32 wants the same thing. So
5:33 Why'd you say the other wedding was the best wedding you've been to? Because of the location? The sweet pea 1?
5:39 So it was it was Or a good wedding. A good wedding. Yeah. It was really cute, quaint, like, very away from noise. Mhmm. It was on a barn. Super pretty. Well
5:51 put together.
5:52 And it wasn't expensive. No. The best best wedding I've ever done was a 300000 dollar wedding at the Ritz. I mean, you know, in in or in Laguna Niguel in Orange County. I mean, that was the best wedding I've I've done.
6:03 It was on the cliff. Beautiful. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Yeah. It would get cost somewhere around 3 300000, something like that. 253 hundred thousand flower arrangements, everything. It was gorgeous. It was gorgeous.
6:15 It was Very pretty. But but, again, like, would I recommend someone spend that even if you have it? No. Probably not.
6:21 Okay. So about this. So what would be some do's and don'ts that, like, people that are thinking about getting married or in the process of, like, oh, you know, we are planning our wedding. Obviously, everybody has their
6:32 own opinion and Mhmm. You know? But in your guys' experience, you know, so many people that have been married. Like, what are you like? Hey. You know, flowers, blah blah blah, whatever. Yeah. What would you
6:42 say something? So I've been marrying people probably for over 12 years. And and so here's some things. I wouldn't say there's a order. You know?
6:51 No order.
6:52 Maybe at some point You can. As I'm talking, I'll say this is really important. 1 of the first things that comes to the top of my head that if a couple is getting married, I would 100 percent
7:03 and you would I know you and I agree with this, Ashley. 100 percent mandate a certain level of dress for everybody.
7:11 Oh, 100 percent.
7:11 Make it make it mandatory on the invitation what you're asking everybody to wear.
7:17 No polos, no flip flops.
7:19 Yeah. No shorts.
7:20 No shorts.
7:21 No jeans. No no flannels.
7:22 Basketball. You know?
7:23 Yeah.
7:23 You've seen people show up like that at
7:25 a wedding? 100 percent. 100 percent.
7:27 I've seen it all.
7:28 More weddings than not.
7:29 Basketball shorts? Basketball shorts.
7:31 Well, we've seen basketball shorts. Yeah. That's more of like a Basketball. More of like a family member that's, like, probably shouldn't have been invited, but they feel like they have to invite them. But overall,
7:40 though, what I see with a lot of particularly men, I see a lot with men is they'll wear, you know, jeans. They'll wear some type of tattered T shirt or polo, and
7:52 they'll wear, you know, either boating shoes or vans or, you know, Nikes or whatever. And and so then you have, you know, you have half the room dressed nicely, half the room
8:04 not. You you know, sometimes I've seen, you know, women, they come in, like, you know, jeans and, like, a a T shirt that doesn't, you know, it's just it's not a dress or anything like
8:16 that.
8:16 Always say take in consideration if you're ever going to a wedding and you know the person personally and you know that wherever they've put the location location or not.
8:29 Majority of the time, when a wedding is being spent or when you're spending money on a wedding, you're paying per person. Mhmm. Like, if you were to break it down per person Yeah. Like, because of plate
8:40 is your plate of food, majority of the time, can range between 20 dollars to 300 and fifth 350 dollars.
8:49 A person.
8:50 A person. Per person. So that's where a lot of people are like, I want a small wedding. I want a big wedding. That just depending on how much you wanna pay per person. Because then you start to take in I'm like a lot
9:00 what a lot of people do, which I don't agree with, I don't think you should ever charge somebody to go to an event.
9:06 Charge to go to your wedding?
9:08 Oh, we've heard it all. What? They would try to charge for their plate.
9:11 Well, I think I think it's a good idea in essence. Honestly, I've done enough weddings that, you know, it's it's it's a lot of couples are getting married the way they're getting married is
9:23 because of their family's expectations of what they expect. But a lot of the family ain't isn't putting any sweat equity in it. Mom and dad the amount of weddings that I've done where I'm talking to a couple and they're
9:34 like, oh, my mom and dad want us to do x, y, and z, or they want this these you know, I see this all the time. We're we're marrying a couple, and then they say, hey. What should I do about this situation? I say, what
9:46 situation? They said, well, my mom and dad came with me with a with a list. They of people they want invited Mhmm. To the wedding. And we'll say, oh, do you know those individuals? They're like, no. They're like my dad's
9:56 coworkers or they're, you know, family members that I've never met in another country or whatever. And then I go, okay. Great. So how much are your parents giving to the wedding? Oh, they're not giving anything.
10:09 And I'd be like, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. You don't give No. Like Yeah. And I just incur always encourage couples, like, you know, do what you feel comfortable with. If if that's what you wanna do for your parents or your
10:20 family, that's great. But you really don't owe anyone anything. And, like, unless you do feel like you owe someone something, then then, you know, do what you can for that family member or whatever. But Mhmm. But to a
10:31 certain degree, you know, if you're not covering and then there's been other weddings we remember, like, my parents are paying for everything. Yep. Then I go, hey. Then, you know, maybe you know? And my dad wants us to
10:43 have this type of meal, but I don't want it. I'm like, maybe you should just take the stupid meal. You know? Like Right.
10:47 A lot
10:48 of people aren't getting in the opportunity to have their whole wedding paid for. And so, you know, you might have to give up a couple things to to to, you know, let your parents have some say if you're now is that the
10:59 right thing? No. Your parents, if they're gonna cover it, just say, we're gonna cover it. Do what you want, and have fun. But Right. They don't you know, parents don't always think that way. So the average couple we're
11:09 marrying is not getting money from their parents at all. Right. Normally. So Yeah. But their parents also have a lot of say. Right. You know? Yeah. And so Or trying to have a lot of say.
11:19 So when I was speaking about the dress code and and and and all of that, I'm always in the mindset. If I'm ever invited to a wedding, there are 2 things. Dress the part
11:31 knowing you're going to a wedding to respect your a wedding guest. Right. Dress Yeah. Bit dress up. It's it's a formal. Yeah. It's a formal event unless it says something different.
11:42 Be formal at all times anytime you go to a wedding. Look more expensive than the meal that you're about to eat. Yeah. And the other thing
11:50 But that's why I say put it on the invitation. Right. Because Right. Because, you know, we've done weddings. We've I've done weddings before where the the theme is actually he's coming out a very nice
12:01 dressed, cowboy. Yeah. So he's wearing a blazer. Right. He's wearing a really nice dress shirt under. Mhmm. He has a bolo tie. He's wearing a really nice cowboy hat. He's wearing really nice denim. So you would look you
12:13 would look stupid to to wear a suit to Right. So. Right. So I wouldn't say dressed formal. I would say Yeah. Put it in your invitation what it is that you're you're going for but but make it
12:25 mandatory. Say, this is black tie formal.
12:28 This is formal.
12:29 Or this is a business formal. Please come in a suit. Please come suit. Are getting married
12:34 on a beach. You
12:35 know? Yeah.
12:35 Please be mindful of Yeah. Heels and sandal. Yes.
12:39 Yeah. Just on the invitation, the official invitation somewhere, you know, have the language of of what the you know, we are doing cowboy formal, You know? Yeah. You know? So
12:51 then so then people are aware, but also you can kind of set an expectation of of of what you're asking people, to wear. And if it's small enough, I mean, just send out text messages and just be like, hey.
13:03 We'd appreciate it if we're gonna have pictures and we want memories and Right. Right. All these things and and we just want everything, you know, because you do. You look at family pictures and then you have cousin so
13:12 and so and so and so, and they're wearing, you know, vans and shorts, and then you're just like this it it it it doesn't it doesn't look well nor nor to me is it respectful. You know? But I was raised by very old
13:24 school Yeah. Both mostly old school black men is who raised me. And it was, you know, it was you better you better, you know, you dress to church, funerals, weddings. You know, you wear whatever
13:36 is the best in the closet is what you if you don't have anything good in the closet, then you save and you get 1 good thing that you can hold on to that you can wear at everything, funeral, wedding
13:45 Right.
13:46 All of it, you know?
13:47 Yeah. And what about, like, plus 1? Let's just get a little like, well, how did you guys do it with your plus 1?
13:53 So the I will tell you this. We got my sister was the only 1, I would say, with the plus 1. Everyone else had to be married.
13:59 Mhmm. Not
14:00 not even engaged. Not or maybe Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Were engaged. You're engaged. Yeah. Engaged is fine.
14:06 Well and the reason why, we have nothing against those individuals, but we have we had You're paying
14:10 for
14:10 them. Pay. You had to pay 55 dollars a per if I don't know you Yeah. I'm not paying for 55 dollars. And the person would say, well, who would I dance with? Who would I have fun with?
14:19 You would have found a friend of friends.
14:20 If you were single, you would do that. Like, there's other single people or whatever, and it's it's not You don't go to These are friends and family. So it's like we're gonna sit you with people that you know or that
14:30 you'll get to know that we know that you're gonna find things in common. But if there's 10 people who we're expecting to come single that they can all sit at a table Mhmm. But then but then you want plus 1, then that's
14:42 that's that's that's 50 extra dollars per person for 10 people. Right. When you're already looking at the average couple who's getting married, you are stretching every dollar you have. It's not like
14:53 there's this this excess. Right. You know? Now you wanna offer 100 dollars to allow your plus 1 to come? You
15:00 know? Right.
15:01 Cash App and be right now, and you could bring your plus 1. I'll make room. Absolutely. You know? Like but it's it's money. That's what that's what it comes down to.
15:09 Well, and I think that's something that when we had gone into our wedding, that was something not that you always are like, okay. We're gonna get gifts for the house, and we're gonna get stuff like that because we had a
15:18 bridal shower, and then you have the wedding. My whole thought process my fam my mom's side of the family is different. Mhmm. What they do is you have a bridal shower and you get everything you need for the house. Then
15:30 any and then my my mom's family side is at a wedding, you bring a monetary gift. So you get double with my mom's side of the family. Like, that's just how we were raised. That's how I know. So I always told Adam when we
15:42 were when we were early on in our marriage Mhmm. We would get invited to weddings, and and it would be the bridal shower and the and the wedding. And I would tell him, I'm not going because if I can't bring a gift to
15:53 this and the wedding, I am not gonna look like I can't afford your wedding because it's disrespect. Because you're putting out money. You're paying for flowers. You're paying for a DJ. You could possibly be paying for an
16:04 open bar, paying for appetizers, desserts, cookie. Can't what? I do not wanna look like a moocher at a wedding. Although I wanna celebrate you and someone would say, well, they want you there. Yes. But how if they
16:16 personally said and I said, hey. I'll it shouldn't be based on the gift, but it should be based on her humility enough to say, like, I would rather her save money than spend it on me because I wanna be able
16:28 to love on this person more to give him a gift, and I just can't afford it right now. Yeah. That's what I say believe the same thing as all these women saying yes to be in a bachelorette party. If you ain't got a dime or
16:35 a penny to your name, do not be a part of no bachelorette party that you cannot fund. I know. It's not there's no point. Be be humble enough to say, hey. This is something I just can't be a part of in this season of my
16:46 life. Right. Has nothing to do with you. There's nothing as disrespect for you. I absolutely love you. And if that person returns and says, I'm not worried about that. Yeah. I just want you there in the room. Mhmm. You
16:55 should be able to have that healthy dialogue with that person if you're truly that close enough to them to be in their wedding.
17:01 Yeah. And I
17:01 So And everyone's age difference. If someone's get married at 21, you can expect that a bachelor bachelorette party is gonna be done relatively cheap and expensive because everybody's young. Everybody's gonna be broke.
17:12 There's probably gonna be 1 older sibling or something that's gonna probably kinda corral it and stuff. But then it's like, if people are getting married, you know, 29, 30, 34, 35, you know, and they got maybe more so in
17:24 their career Yeah. If you get asked to be in their bachelor at bachelor party, you gotta expect that, you know, it it may cost you up to 1000 dollars to be a part of that. And you can't think that anyone's going to
17:36 cover for you or you know, I've I've heard I've heard people like, hey, this is the suit we're getting in and someone's like, well, I can't afford it. Can I get a cheaper black suit? You know, and it's like, well, no,
17:48 you can't. You know? Right. So. Right. It's like there's there's, I mean, we we have. We've seen it all and we've seen couples process with us about like, hey, how how much should I be offended or how much should I,
18:00 you know, care or whatever. You know, if it's a sibling, then, okay. Understandable. Once you start getting your friends to be part of the wedding, like, yeah, it's a responsibility of, yes, that you should probably ask
18:11 the bride or groom ahead of time. Hey. Tell me tell me tell me tell me what. Yeah. You think it's gonna look like. Are you guys doing a trip? Like, because we marry people in all different seasons of life. So it's like,
18:22 I we couldn't do it but I had been asked to do a person for a person's wedding in Italy And for their bachelor and bachelorette party, they took like a they took a a plane down to Mexico and
18:34 it was like a 5 day like like private, you know, like private boats were involved and everybody split differently. So that couple was older, so they covered a lot of it. But I mean, you're still talking about
18:45 anyone who said yes to it was and I wasn't gonna be part of that stuff. I was just asked to do the wedding. But what I know from talking to the bachelor and bachelorette, I mean, it's like a 4 or 5 day thing that
18:56 consisted of, like, restaurants and all. And they were definitely split splitting all the restaurants and everything. So, I mean, saying yes to that bachelorette party was like I think it was like 4005 thousand a
19:08 person, you know, because of what they were celebrating and doing. And so it's like, you gotta be like, hey. No. Sorry. I can't do it. Or yeah. That's so it's asking and understanding seasons. I mean
19:18 Right.
19:19 That most of the time, it's done relatively cheap. I mean, we're in California, so you see a lot of people go to, like, Las Vegas or they go to Cabo. But, I mean, you're still talking 5, 6, 700 dollars. For sure. You
19:29 know?
19:29 Yeah. Between room and Right. Everything. And then what
19:32 do do?
19:33 Because you're gonna buy a dress?
19:34 Get dress, suit
19:35 I'm in a party, actually.
19:37 Makeup, hair.
19:38 And so I gotta look at the dress, the shoes because Yep. They were like, oh, well, I want them this specific type of shoe,
19:44 like Yep.
19:45 You know, or the jewelry, like, know, let's do gold and whatever.
19:48 So Yeah. Certain hairstyles. So when we got married, the only thing I had my my sister was my bridesmaid or my maid
19:56 of honor. If you have 0? Like, you guys think that's bad or 0 what? 0 bridesmaids?
20:01 0 what? That's the best thing on the planet. Just go go on a bedtime
20:05 with have any. But
20:06 you don't have 0 friend 0 friend. She's a friend.
20:09 No. No. No. That you have friends, but you don't, like Right.
20:11 But you don't want
20:12 them Mostly older people, people that get married in their, like, forties and fifties, they don't they don't do they don't do, like, bridesmaids and groomsmen.
20:20 Don't I can't see. Yeah.
20:21 The older they get.
20:22 6 bridesmaids.
20:23 It's a lot it it it's a lot, but it it was we had 7. Or we had 6? Each. Each. Yes. So we had 6 each. Yeah.
20:33 We got married in our twenties.
20:34 So your friendship
20:35 circles are larger and all
20:37 that stuff
20:37 like that.
20:37 So, like, my sister was my maid of honor. I she picked out the bridesmaid's dress. I think it was, like, 230 bucks, alterations and stuff like that changing. But, like, the day of, like, I was that bride that I was like,
20:49 I want peace and quiet. Like, I hung out with my dad. Mhmm. I did because a lot of the women, let let's wake up and let's do this. I'm just different. I'm and I'm like
20:58 We'll still talk about dos and don'ts, though. Sit more, like, in the dos and don'ts. Don't. We we've done an episode where we've talked about our actual wedding day before where you've talked about your dad and all
21:07 that.
21:07 Right. So I would just say dos and don'ts as far as, like, do what you wanna do. Yeah. Don't be don't feel like you're pressured into doing something with your girlfriends Right. Just because that's just the normal thing
21:17 to do. Right. If you wanna be by yourself on your wedding day and get ready, have your girlfriends go by yourself. If you wanna relax day and not feeling pressured, all I told this was the thing that I thought was really
21:29 great. I told them the time to be there. Get ready on your own. Be there at that same time. That was something that I would do because you're not worried about every single person coming in, getting their makeup done,
21:40 hair done, all of that. So that was 1 thing where I was just like, that is something that I would do. Mhmm. Focus on yourself that day. Let everyone else worry about themselves because if you have a room full of emotions
21:51 Mhmm. And although it's exciting getting ready, those are things that I would I would do is just get ready on your own.
21:57 Yep.
21:57 But as far as, like, having a certain amount of bridesmaids, it it's really focusing on how you want your day to look.
22:07 Yeah.
22:08 Do you want an x amount of pictures of all your bridesmaids? And understand, I think if you get married later, having those mature conversations and relationships to say, you know what? I'm mature enough to know, like,
22:19 I'd want this many people in my wedding or I don't.
22:21 Right.Show more
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Adam Mesa492K followers
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