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ove Unfiltered: Navigating the Ups and Downs of Marriage | BEYOND I DO PODCAST | S121
February 8, 2024 · 51 min
GET YOUR TISSUES READY!!
Adam does something so sweet for Ashlee that brings tears to our eyes! Join us as Adam and Ashlee extend a heartfelt thank you to all our supporters who have embraced our journey in portraying the often uncelebrated aspects of a healthy marriage.
We kick off with a touching listener message that applauds our depiction of a strong, functional union, which leads us to reflect on the significance of mutual respect and its influence on leadership within the home and workspace.
Our candid discussion peels back the layers of our relationship dynamics, offering insight into how we navigate disagreements with the intent to consistently present a united and positive front.Listen in as we unravel the complexities of supporting a spouse in a high-demand role, the role communication plays in sharing burdens, and the intricate dance of teamwork in marriage.
Through personal anecdotes, we tackle the thorny issues of work-life balance and financial responsibilities, and the sometimes petty conflicts that arise. We delve into the art of reconciliation, the value of involving a community for counsel, and how mutual understanding is pivotal for the strength and growth of our partnership.
Wrapping up, we explore the lighter side of marriage with humorous mishaps and the occasional argument, emphasizing the importance of patience and humor in our daily interactions. Our conversation also turns to the significance of apologizing and leading by example in relationships, demonstrating how humility and clear communication can foster trust and strengthen bonds.
Join us for an episode filled with laughter, vulnerability, and the beauty of everyday love. Share below your favorite part of the episode!!
--
Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
--
Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
--
BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do
--
Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa
https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
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Don't forget to stay connected with us:
Instagram @beyond.ido
Tik Tok @beyond.ido
Series Beyond the Letter February 8, 2024 · 51 min · Beyond the Letter
GET YOUR TISSUES READY!! Adam does something so sweet for Ashlee that brings tears to our eyes! Join us as Adam and Ashlee extend a heartfelt thank you to all our supporters who have embraced our journey in portraying the often uncelebrated aspects of a healthy marriage. We kick off with a touching listener message that applauds our depiction of a strong, functional union, which leads us to reflect on the significance of mutual respect and its influence on leadership within the home and workspace. Our candid discussion peels back the layers of our relationship dynamics, offering insight into how we navigate disagreements with the intent to consistently present a united and positive front.Listen in as we unravel the complexities of supporting a spouse in a high-demand role, the role communication plays in sharing burdens, and the intricate dance of teamwork in marriage. Through personal anecdotes, we tackle the thorny issues of work-life balance and financial responsibilities, and the sometimes petty conflicts that arise. We delve into the art of reconciliation, the value of involving a community for counsel, and how mutual understanding is pivotal for the strength and growth of our partnership. Wrapping up, we explore the lighter side of marriage with humorous mishaps and the occasional argument, emphasizing the importance of patience and humor in our daily interactions. Our conversation also turns to the significance of apologizing and leading by example in relationships, demonstrating how humility and clear communication can foster trust and strengthen bonds. Join us for an episode filled with laughter, vulnerability, and the beauty of everyday love. Share below your favorite part of the episode!! -- Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below! https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo -- Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett. How to get the exclusive discount? SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en https://bybarnett.com -- BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do -- Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA== -- Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.ido Tik Tok @beyond.ido ...more Show the full description Show less GET YOUR TISSUES READY!!
Adam does something so sweet for Ashlee that brings tears to our eyes! Join us as Adam and Ashlee extend a heartfelt thank you to all our supporters who have embraced our journey in portraying the often uncelebrated aspects of a healthy marriage.
We kick off with a touching listener message that applauds our depiction of a strong, functional union, which leads us to reflect on the significance of mutual respect and its influence on leadership within the home and workspace.
Our candid discussion peels back the layers of our relationship dynamics, offering insight into how we navigate disagreements with the intent to consistently present a united and positive front.Listen in as we unravel the complexities of supporting a spouse in a high-demand role, the role communication plays in sharing burdens, and the intricate dance of teamwork in marriage.
Through personal anecdotes, we tackle the thorny issues of work-life balance and financial responsibilities, and the sometimes petty conflicts that arise. We delve into the art of reconciliation, the value of involving a community for counsel, and how mutual understanding is pivotal for the strength and growth of our partnership.
Wrapping up, we explore the lighter side of marriage with humorous mishaps and the occasional argument, emphasizing the importance of patience and humor in our daily interactions. Our conversation also turns to the significance of apologizing and leading by example in relationships, demonstrating how humility and clear communication can foster trust and strengthen bonds.
Join us for an episode filled with laughter, vulnerability, and the beauty of everyday love. Share below your favorite part of the episode!!
--
Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!
https://alfc.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo
--
Did you hear the news? We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.
How to get the exclusive discount?
SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa.
https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=en
https://bybarnett.com
--
BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSE
https://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do
--
Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesa
https://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==
--
Don't forget to stay connected with us:
Instagram @beyond.ido
Tik Tok @beyond.ido
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Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
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In this video 0:00 The Dynamics of a Healthy Marriage
The Dynamics of a Healthy Marriage 0:12 Alright. Welcome to Beyond I Do. Thanks for joining us, everybody. Oh, I did have well, first, I wanna see before we get into something0:19 made me scared because she said you had something.0:21 I do. It's coming in a second, and it might make you cry, so just be ready. Oh, god. Let's see. But0:28 Please don't be talking about love on the spectrum.0:30 No. No. No. No. No.0:32 Oh, gosh. I would literally cry. I'm like, Tanner has my heart. If I didn't marry this 10:39 Okay.0:39 Tanner.0:40 No. I just wanna say some someone, you know, we always get DMs and messages and comments, but, someone said we had a comment that was, I think, in the DMs. Nancy, shared it with us. So I thought it'd be cool just to0:51 share some feedback. Somebody said, I absolutely love this podcast. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy lives to educate us people of what a healthy non dysfunctional marriage looks like. So very1:03 nice.1:04 That is really nice.1:05 Yeah. So I'm I'm so glad. I'm always amazed by how many people say that they watch this and listen to us, which I'm gonna get get to more more of it in a second Yeah. On what surprises me, but I wanna say thank you
1:15 everyone for supporting, listening to the podcast, sharing this with your friends. Yeah. I know so many of my so many people in our church that say they have friends that would never step foot in a church, but have
1:25 started to listen to this Mhmm. And are starting to see that potentially faith is very important part of their walk in their marriage or in their relationship. So that's really, really great news. But that being said, I
1:37 gotta step away for 2 seconds because I have something I would say, so I'll be right back.
1:40 Oh. In a second. Oh, gosh. Are you gonna ask me to marry you? No. Oh. I love that. He's the guy that got to the bathroom. Oh my gosh. Is this gonna make me cry? A
1:52 rooster going too? Where's everyone going? What are you? Are you guys cry is this a surprise? I have no idea. There's there's nothing special. Like, what's going on?
2:01 That's why he didn't tell me.
2:02 He didn't tell you. So he wouldn't tell you. Okay. This and oh. Go to bed. Oh, gosh. What is he doing? What is he doing? Oh. Okay.
2:14 0. 0. 0. Okay. Are those for me? Those for you. Yeah. Good.
2:19 They're for my mother. These are for you.
2:22 Oh, thank
2:22 you. And I tried to get something that kinda looked like birds of paradise, so she called
2:26 them love it.
2:27 Rosebursts or something somewhere or another. So
2:32 We're not Here's why. So we're not we are we're very healthy relationship. We're not perfect, but we try every day.
2:39 Yes. Yes. I knew she would. Okay.
2:45 They smell amazing. Then they're gonna go right here.
2:50 Okay. So I think yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
2:53 Yeah. Is there a car?
2:54 The way it goes. That's a French. No. There's not a car. I told the girl no on a car. Was so romantic. So I'm giving you your flowers, not flowers, but your flowers for a reason because in the past probably
3:06 2 weeks, I've heard from very, very high capacity mail mailman leaders
3:12 Mhmm.
3:13 Who say that they listen to this podcast, which I didn't think they did or would. Mhmm. And they'd say, I look I've however they wanna word it. Right? They they say they
3:25 say I'm so, I admire. Mhmm. You know, some say I'm jealous or whatever at how much your wife respects you and honors your leadership. Like, we're not perfect, and we do get in arguments
3:37 and fights, but but in terms of what and then I was talking to, another, leader and pastor and they said, you know, the difference between my ministry and your ministry is your ministry, your
3:48 wife, honors you and respects you as a pastor. And mine, my my wife just thinks that, you know, that's my that's what I do, but not that's who I am to her. And
3:57 Yeah.
3:58 And so I you know, it got me thinking. I was like, yeah. I'm and I told you this. We already talked about
4:02 it in
4:02 person, but I said, man, I'm I am really blessed
4:04 Mhmm.
4:05 That that's that's my case, that I have a wife who really honors me and respects me. And not not just as a father, which that's a great blessing as it is Yeah. But as, like, a legitimate leader and
4:16 Oh, yeah.
4:16 The past every man is a pastor of their household. So you also respect me as, the shepherd of our household as well and the spiritual oversight, which there it's worked for me as well, but but
4:28 it you you're not a quiet person. Everyone knows you. So you're not you're not you you you have a domineering personality.
4:35 Yeah.
4:35 So it's not the fact that you're naturally, passive and a submissive person. So that is contrary to your percent. You're high level leader. You're a high capacity leader, and so the fact
4:47 that you choose to, walk in that way means that it is a genuine choice you make. Yeah. Because you could easily be like, I'm gonna try to
4:54 run
4:55 my house away. You know? And you don't.
4:57 So Yeah. And I think for me, when it comes to the fact that, like, when women are like I I guess we have a unique relationship and we, like, tried to say, like, when that comment came in, like, a
5:09 really healthy relationship or or healthy dynamic, however they worded it. I have always honored you as a pastor even when you were in youth, and
5:20 I honored your just even as a we were when we were friends, I said, man, this man is smart. He's kind. He's humble, but he's
5:32 giving and loving and intentional and listening. You're never 1 to even if I had an idea And if you didn't agree with it,
5:45 you're silent.
5:46 Yeah.
5:46 Or you would have a different view to where you would look at it this way. You never like once shut it out. And then you always were doing it in a correcting, loving way to where
5:58 when people see me, they see you. So if if I'm starting to act out of line, you're quick to like you said, we've had disagreements and arguments, and you've checked me about who I am. And I think that
6:11 I respect that more than anything, because I don't ever wanna feel like I'm either rude or crude or mean to people around me because then that just reflects probably what's going on in my life and what's
6:23 going on at home. So when it comes to you as a leader in my home, you've made it very easy for me. So it would be hard for me, I would just feel like I
6:35 would just be being a bitter person if I didn't allow you to succeed because of how good you treat us in the home, how good you treat us with me and the boys, and always continually thinking about how do I
6:47 shut this thing called work off and being intentional and and always asking me like the same like Will said last week, like, are you okay? Are you angry with me?
6:59 Did I upset you? How are you feeling? You've given me a voice and not just shut me out. So it's doing this thing called life together, and you've made me feel like I have a space in place.
7:11 But I view you not only as my husband, but I view you like I'm a cry. Like, you're just you're very smart.
7:23 You're very kind. You lead this church well. And I think you have the same heart of me when people ask me all the time. You don't wanna be a pastor? You don't want I want God's people happy.
7:35 Mhmm.
7:35 And I feel like that's the same as you. You're not in for the limelight. You're not in it for the accolades. You want god's people saved. You want god's people to know the
7:47 Bible. You want god's people to have a relationship. So for me as a wife, I admire that because you shepherd our home very well, but the way that you love people,
7:59 how can you not follow someone like that? Like, how can you not listen to someone like that? But knowing that you have the the the the the, background, the theology and all that stuff too is admirable because that's hard
8:10 work. Knowing God's work is hard work, but then knowing God's work and also receiving it, like, you had that story with with your professor. Do you wanna know a lot about Jesus, or do you wanna look a lot like Jesus?
8:22 Mhmm. And I think you look a lot like Jesus, although you are you know a lot, but you you look a lot like him when you're being intentional in doing these mass weddings
8:33 or or doing the the the men's sprint. And it's it's as a wife, how would I look to get in the way? Mhmm. When I know, like, I know I'm getting them crown, I'm getting them gems on my crown,
8:45 like, I'm like in the support of where I know God talks to me to say, I got what I have for you, Ashley is for you. And what I have for Adam is for Adam. But when it comes to your marriage, it's gonna take work. It's
8:57 gonna take time. It's gonna take patience. But as long as you guys can be in the same lane, I'm I'm in the midst. Mhmm. As long as you guys put me in the middle of it, I'm in the midst. So,
9:09 it breaks my heart to to just see a lot of and and I don't and I and I don't judge or critique, but, like, we're not the right way of a marriage. We're not, like, the way. I think
9:20 there's other relationship. I just the way that I admire you and love you, I I I desire that for women. I desire that for the men to lead the woman and to guide the woman and to feel that
9:32 affirmation. And so that's what breaks my heart is when I see, like, some women not supporting their husbands in this such high demand of a position because it's a lot of pressure. Yeah.
9:44 And for me to say, that's your thing. What? Mhmm. This is a team thing. If it's just his, then you're gonna feel the weight of it just being his. If you
9:56 don't do it together, now you can divvy up the weight because you're having communication. You're having conversations about what he's going through or or, hey, sometimes this isn't for you and I need you and the family.
10:07 I just need to do what you're doing.
10:08 Yeah.
10:09 So that I think that that's the hard part is is, I appreciate the flowers more than anything. I I I pray for the relationships to hopefully
10:21 get on the same page to where husbands can be admired and loved and supported. Yeah. And it takes work, though. Yeah. It takes work.
10:30 It takes work. And to break the facade, like, you know, probably, like, our recent big fight was, like, 2 months ago. Mhmm. And, you know, even we act petty and stuff like that because we were fighting, we're
10:42 arguing, and we, you were talking about because, you know, I'll sometimes, I I'll have additional income that comes in our panel. So maybe I'll speak somewhere or I'll talk
10:54 to a company on leadership or something like that. And so you had just felt like I was working too much, but we didn't really communicate. We kinda missed each other. So you were like, you're working too much. And I
11:04 said, you know, I'm working to, you know, forward to you take care of this family and blah blah blah. And you and you were like, I don't care about
11:10 Yeah.
11:10 You know? You don't you don't need to make any more money. I'm fine. I'm, you know, blah blah blah blah. And I said I said, okay. If you're fine, I'm turning off all your credit cards right now.
11:19 And you did.
11:19 If you're fine. And then I went in my phone
11:21 I did.
11:21 And I went on every credit card that you're connected to.
11:24 My to try. I said, excuse me, Derek. Can you put me back on this?
11:29 Well, yeah.
11:31 I was like, oh, he was serious. I thought he was just playing his phone on Tetris or something.
11:34 Well, most of them. Did. And then the like, we kinda reconciled that night, but then we reconciled more the next day.
11:40 Yes.
11:40 And so because there was about, you know, Ashley Ashley makes her her own income, but but, you know, she knows for a lot of things. I have credit cards that are attached to my account that she has 1 in in her
11:52 name. And every once in a while, she'll bust those bad boys out and and do whatever she needs to do. And so, that night I went on I went on every, you know, there are about 4 or 5 cards and
12:04 I turned I took because it has her name on it and you could turn it on and off. And so I turned them all off. And I said, if you can survive on your own income without me busting my butt out there, then go ahead and
12:14 enjoy. Let me know how long it takes. Well, it only took you about an hour to come back and say, you know, hey. Bro. Like, hey. Let's talk about this or whatever. So we did. Yes. And so for most of the cards, I
12:26 turned them back on, but 1 of them, I I forgot. And so you went to use it a couple weeks later, and you were like, hey. Do you still have me cut?
12:33 No. I think I think no. I think I think he literally sent a laughing emoji and goes, oh, remember when you were cut off?
12:39 Yeah. Yeah. I forgot to turn it back on.
12:42 So we do have
12:43 our You know, we have our you know, that's a some people people say, man, that's pretty messed up, Adam. And I'm like, well, that's the level of when we argue, that's the level of arguing we will do. It's not common, but
12:54 if it does happen and we really miss each other, my type of arguing is very straightforward Mhmm. And so is yours. And so it can sometimes really blow up
13:04 Mhmm.
13:04 And maybe they are very far and few between, but when they happen, you know, we don't do anything like throw our rings in the backyard or we don't ever go, you know, attack our marriage,
13:16 but but what we will do is, you know, I'll say I'll do something like that. I'll turn off all your credit cards. You know? So Yeah.
13:23 Yeah. So that's the topic of a petty end. Or it's the topic of a conversation was we were talking
13:27 about. Saying, hey. If you don't like the hours I'm putting in so that you could swipe this bad boy at, you know, at your at your nail nail appointment or whatever, then you you you work hard and you you want more money,
13:38 you go get more money, you know. And so
13:39 And how long do these, like, your arguments usually, like, last? You said it was was that like a
13:44 It was about 2 it was a it was a day and a half, like, because we we we settled
13:48 on a little air. Yeah. We got Aaron, Erica, Nathan, and Sanaz involved because we were missing each other on some things. And so, we got our community involved, and there were, other things
14:00 beyond that that we had to talk about. And so so, that night, we kind of, subtly reconciled a little bit. But by the next day, when we got our community involved,
14:13 they kind of they don't really take sides. They just consult. You know, they consult. They hear Ashley out. She's crying. She's blah blah blah and just, you know, whatever whatever she's saying.
14:23 But, because the girls will will I think what they do a really good job job at in our community is the girls will see Adam's point
14:35 of view that I'm not seeing because, obviously, he's the 1 that I'm angry with. And the guys will see my point of view and give him the clarity on that because and, like, hey,
14:47 this is how she's feeling. And this is what she's thinking. And this is what she's saying. Is there certain things that did you travel a lot yesterday? Which, yes, he did. But were there a lot of added bonuses of his
14:59 travel? Yes. There was. So then on her their side too, they're like, you don't think he's tired of doing this as well, but it's all for a reason. So it just goes in seasons where
15:11 I think just even as a mom too, you go up and down of just your emotions. And it was just 1 of those. I think we I just was in my emotions. I'm like, I just need you because we had gone and then
15:23 our date nights had gotten shortened. So then there we started realizing they were, like, okay. We were taking the kids more on, out instead of just the 2 of us. We weren't doing as much alone date stuff or we were doing
15:35 couples. And it was like, no. We just need each other. And so we had been point last year, we we were in the midst of everything. We did the sprint. We had 4 or 5 weddings
15:47 that we did together with counseling. Then we're trying to do things with the boys and traveling. Then he's doing his cohorts in his pastor meeting. So last year just was, like, a ton to where at the end when we're
15:58 hanging out with our friends, I'm like
16:01 She was overwhelmed. I wasn't.
16:02 He wasn't. That was the difference. Yes.
16:04 You know?
16:04 I was overwhelmed because I'm just like, there is I don't feel like I've been ever stretched than I'm than last year. I was stretched beyond means as far as, like, feeling like I'm being pulled at
16:16 from every direction. And so he's done that all of ministry. So he knew how to balance that. I was just like, I just need quiet time and my husband and nobody else. All y'all even my accountability,
16:28 y'all can leave, which they didn't need to because they were they were needed. But, yeah. So after that, we we we were able to settle, obviously, the issue of what it was, and it was I was overwhelmed and stressed.
16:40 And just a lot had happened from, like, even close friends and family to where I was just like, this is a lot. And, and when you realize when you're in a relationship to as
16:52 well, and even a marriage, who are you going to go after? The person closest to you, you're not gonna go over your friends, you're not gonna go over to your family, the person that's gonna get the most wrath, the most
17:03 stress, the most attitude is your spouse. Why? Because they're easy target. They're an easy target. And it's the emotional target, like, Like, I'm gonna get irritated with you before I get irritated with the boys.
17:15 So now I'm like, no. I'm gonna get irritated with the boys, and my husband's gonna get the piece. Yep. So Yeah. But yeah. I mean, it's very common
17:24 in relationships. Suffice to say, I'm just saying, like, the we don't it's not the number 1, it's not a podcast front. And number 2
17:33 No. No.
17:33 No. No. And number 2, we we have arguments. They're far and few between. So that that happened the first week of November. Yep. So So since the first week of November till end of beginning of February,
17:45 we haven't had another big fight. We we bickers, like, what are you talk are you talking to me? You know, like
17:51 Did I think that
17:51 why were you upset? Yeah. Yeah. But other than that, like, you were talking about, like, an argument to that scale that some couples have 2 or 3 a week. It's kinda
17:57 like that. You know? I think
17:59 that But, they happen. We need to happen for us. You know?
18:01 But I think that's a good comment that you even said, like, bickering and there's not arguing.
18:06 Yeah. Just being annoying each other. Like, you do that with your sibling. You know? You just kinda get on each other's nerves sometimes. Like, that's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. There there was and there's another
18:15 funny story. I have to use it for a sermon 1 time because I don't think I've I don't think I fully talked about it with you. Well, I kinda did, but I was, because I was talking to Phil about it. And it's, the other day,
18:24 I, about 3 weeks ago, I sliced off the knuckle my knuckle of my finger with a knife. And it really what what happened was is Ashley was in 1 of those moods that day, and and every husband knows it. Like, when
18:36 mom is in the mood, like, everybody just give her space. Don't don't look at her. Don't talk to her. Don't breathe. And so she was in, like, she was in 1 of those booths that was just you ask her anything. It was she was
18:48 short. She was rolling her eyes at everything. And so she's upstairs in her room. I'm with my boys. They're running downstairs, and Ashley's just trying to, like, get her own time and, you you no. You weren't sick yet at
18:59 that point. Mate, no. You might have been sick.
19:01 I was sick.
19:01 Yes. You got it. You were sick. Nobody it it was on the front end of that, but you were 1 of those moods, so I couldn't find the scissors. And I had gotten we had got this these new electric bikes for the boys.
19:11 Yes.
19:12 And so they had at least a hundred zip ties around everything, around everything. So I I looked for 20 minutes for these scissors. And I said to myself, if I ask her where these scissors are, she's gonna be she's gonna
19:23 be pissed. She's gonna be annoyed. I just don't wanna deal with it. I did I was like, I don't wanna deal with her. I don't wanna deal with the attitude. I don't want so I just went and grabbed a knife and I just started
19:31 cutting through all the zip ties. There's at least a hundred that I cut through, and I'm on zip tie number 99.
19:38 Mind you, I hate when he uses knives. Every time he use a knife for to do anything, I stabs his legs, finger nail okay. Go ahead.
19:47 So I did the last 1, it slips and then it cuts the whole top of my knuckle off or might not yep. It's just a knuckle too, I guess. The other knuckle. And so and so it just it opens it up. It just starts bleeding
19:59 everywhere and I I start yelling. And I'm like, oh my god. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. And Ashley literally comes to the top. She's like, what happened? I'm like, I cut my knuckle off. Blah blah blah. She's like, why
20:07 didn't you just ask me where the scissors were? And in my head in my head, I'm thinking, because you would not have responded well if I asked you where the scissors were. And I didn't wanna deal with it. And if this end
20:18 result is me cutting the knuckle off my finger, so be it. Right? So I
20:22 was so mad because I knew exactly where the scissors were.
20:25 But they should have been they're my scissors and they should have been where I put
20:28 my scissors. I'll tell you these scissors are these scissors are like the if I I I'm scared for him to use this how sharp they are.
20:35 They're tailoring scissors.
20:36 They're tailoring. So they're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways,
20:40 it it just so the next day, I'm talking to Phil. Phil's like, what happened? He sees, like, the blood on the bandage. I'm like, bro, you'll get this. You'll get this, bro. Like, I'd Ashley was in those I didn't wanna ask
20:49 her anything. I don't wanna ask. So I started using a knife to cut my zip. He just starts laughing. He's like, bro, I know exactly. Every husband knows
20:56 Mhmm.
20:57 That when especially when with kids in the pictures and stuff like when when mom is in that mood
21:02 Mhmm.
21:03 Like, as long as no one's dying, just do whatever. Leave her alone or whatever.
21:07 They're in the cleaning mood?
21:09 Yeah. Cleaning when you shut
21:10 up and get out
21:10 of the way. Whatever. Whatever. So it was 1 of those days. But but I was so I was so I was so mad that I couldn't find the dang scissors when that happened because it hurt so bad. And for days, it kept bleeding because
21:22 it was a big cut, then I had to get, like, all this stuff and everything like that. But that's those are multiple examples of, like, very frustrating things that are happening and arguments. And but, like, to me,
21:34 like, to me in my head, we we we didn't even argue because I cut myself and Yeah. Instead of asking her for the scissors and No.
21:41 I'm looking for everything to sew you up and put it together and they put me out of mood and because he's like, Jah, like, he is the funniest person whenever he gets hurt. Because
21:53 it's like, because you're like, because you know, like, he's very outgoing to a certain extent, but then he's very dry. So, like, his pain is dry. So you're like, wait. So you are you acting? Are you he's
22:05 like this. And you're like, wait. Is this in a real emotion right now? Like, I'm so confused.
22:18 When he stabbed his leg, oh my gosh. I thought it was, 0. 0. 0. I'm dying.
22:24 That was real trauma.
22:25 I'm dying.
22:25 That was real trauma.
22:26 Yeah. That was really pretty. Nancy, a hole a hole in his leg. And I was like, what he was like, oh, I'm dying.
22:34 I was I was putting a gym together for my wife.
22:37 Yep. So and then we're slicing the the
22:39 And so I was putting gym mats like the rubber mats in gyms. And so I you have to you have to cut the the rubber mat to fit. And I get once again, I was on my last mat. I did the whole room. And I'm on
22:51 the last mat, and because it's a small small piece, I couldn't get leverage. So I had to get leverage on my leg with the rubber, and I went, like I I went, and then it just totally missed. Or it just it went through
23:02 really clean, and then just went straight into my thigh.
23:06 Oh, hole. Yeah.
23:06 People are really screamish right now. Listen, it's like, oh, stop talking about blood. There's cuts and drops because that's kinda
23:11 how I am. Yeah.
23:12 So it went straight into my leg, and I'm like, oh, no. I'm, like, in pain andShow more
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