Skip to content From Conflict to Connection: Boomer-Millennial Parenting | S2E29 BEYOND I DO PODCAST May 1 · 50 min ...more
From Conflict to Connection: Boomer-Millennial Parenting | S2E29 BEYOND I DO PODCAST
May 1, 2025 · 50 min
In this episode of Beyond I Do, we explore the evolving dynamics between baby boomers and millennials within the modern family. Why do so many millennials feel unheard by their boomer parents? And how can families move past the tension to build stronger, more unified relationships?From differing parenting styles to conflicting values around marriage, work, and child-rearing, generational gaps can strain even the closest families. We dive into these issues with honest dialogue, relatable stories, and actionable strategies to create deeper connection. Whether you're navigating in-law tension, raising children with grandparent input, or trying to communicate across generational lines, this conversation offers tools to help families thrive together.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com
Series Beyond the Letter May 1, 2025 · 50 min · Beyond the Letter
In this episode of Beyond I Do, we explore the evolving dynamics between baby boomers and millennials within the modern family. Why do so many millennials feel unheard by their boomer parents? And how can families move past the tension to build stronger, more unified relationships?From differing parenting styles to conflicting values around marriage, work, and child-rearing, generational gaps can strain even the closest families. We dive into these issues with honest dialogue, relatable stories, and actionable strategies to create deeper connection. Whether you're navigating in-law tension, raising children with grandparent input, or trying to communicate across generational lines, this conversation offers tools to help families thrive together.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com ...more Show the full description Show less In this episode of Beyond I Do, we explore the evolving dynamics between baby boomers and millennials within the modern family. Why do so many millennials feel unheard by their boomer parents? And how can families move past the tension to build stronger, more unified relationships?From differing parenting styles to conflicting values around marriage, work, and child-rearing, generational gaps can strain even the closest families. We dive into these issues with honest dialogue, relatable stories, and actionable strategies to create deeper connection. Whether you're navigating in-law tension, raising children with grandparent input, or trying to communicate across generational lines, this conversation offers tools to help families thrive together.--Join our AFTER I DO community for Exclusive Content & community!www.afterido.app--Have a question about relationships? Ask us by clicking the link below!https://patria.church.ai/form/BeyondIdo_BEYOND I DO: MARRIAGE COURSEhttps://beyondido.thinkific.com/courses/beyond-I-do--Connect with Adam & Ashlee Mesahttps://instagram.com/amesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==https://instagram.com/ashleemesa?igshid=YTQwZjQ0NmI0OA==--Don't forget to stay connected with us: Instagram @beyond.idoTik Tok @beyond.ido--We've entered into an exciting new partnership with renowned jeweler Erin Barnett in Los Angeles. This partnership perfectly aligns with our love for relationships and jewelry. Whether you're looking for a special gift, an engagement ring, or a wedding band, Erin has you covered. And as part of the Beyond I Do community, you get exclusive discounts and the opportunity for a private showroom experience. It's time to celebrate your love with exquisite jewelry from our partner, Erin Barnett.How to get the exclusive discount?SEND HIM A DM and tell him you are part of the BEYOND I DO family or mention Adam Mesa. https://www.instagram.com/by.barnett/?hl=enhttps://bybarnett.com
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Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
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0:12 My goodness. What's up, everybody? Welcome to you recording, Andy?0:16 These whose head was in these? The Sammy. Stretched them out, long head.0:21 No. He didn't. He did not stretch them tiny head. I know. Ashley's gonna want her her own headphones as she plugs in herself every time. Or0:30 I don't have my weave anymore, so it's actually sitting0:32 on my scalp. That's probably what it is because that has not changed its size. Your helmet's off. Took your helmet off. I was0:42 like, but then I got such a tiny I got a petite little head. Wow.0:49 K. Yeah. Well, the you got both videos, Andy? I got 1. Okay. We'll let you work on the other 1 when we do an introduction. Welcome everybody to Beyond. I do. Thanks for joining1:01 us Yep. On today's episode.1:05 Just me and you again.1:07 Yeah. What an incredible episode we had last week with, Marie and Anthony. I enjoyed that.1:15 That was good. Was really good.1:17 Yeah. I just1:18 could listen.1:18 Anthony brought the energy for sure.1:20 He definitely did. And it's really it was really unique to see, like, just the viewpoint and perspective of having grace, and that's what Marie had is having the grace
1:32 in her marriage and understanding her husband and his trials that he has. You you have tried I
1:38 hope you learned something. Well, you you have issues. I hope learned something.
1:42 Not as not as hard as his, but yours are yeah. There's something. They're there. There's a lot of grace that's there.
1:50 Well, then I hope she taught you something. I hope iron sharpened iron last week.
1:53 It's hard. And did you?
1:55 So speaking of which, we recently, that I'm aware of, become a very popular episode that I'm unaware of. Well, I think we talked about it. I don't know if we talked about it, but the
2:07 grandparents, the boomer parents. And I was just informed today. I had no idea that our second most clip on social media ever has become,
2:20 this topic.
2:20 Really?
2:21 Yeah. Do you not check your Slack? No. Okay. Actually, it doesn't work. So
2:27 It's on do not disturb today.
2:29 Just found out. The staff. I just found out so far that I don't know. It's been up for a week, couple days. I can't I don't know what it is, but it 6000000 views so far. Wow. It's 4 days. 4 days. It's been up for 4 days.
2:41 It's up to 6000000 views.
2:42 Wow. Like
2:43 6000 comments. Positive comments. Saying majority yeah. Majority positive. 6400 comments and Wow. 6000000 views. I got
2:55 the insights right here. 72000 shares. Hundred 10000 likes. That's crazy.
3:01 That's
3:01 insane another 1600000.0 views on Facebook as well, which we always forget that it goes on Facebook. So yeah, there you go. Yeah, so the insane the
3:13 watch time has already equated to 2 years.
3:16 Dang. So that's the 1 that we clipped that you We're gonna play it. I got it. I got I got it. We're gonna we're
3:22 we're I've got I figured we'd just do a quick recap on this 1 because since I was in the, you know, hot seat though the comments are positive, I know there's probably, you know, some, you
3:34 know, baby boomers who maybe aren't aren't fans of the statement. Facebook probably has a different you know, we haven't even looked at those. Maybe some people are angry with that. But I think if you have a very open
3:43 heart like my mother-in-law did when we first brought when I brought it to her attention, it was more like a, oh my goodness. I didn't know. Oh, you know, I'm so glad that I'm trying to be, you know, active. Almost like
3:54 a Yeah. Well, I you know, like and being being aware of that, it's like, oh, that's good to know that I'll be aware of that. Right.
4:00 You know? So Well, and that was kind of
4:02 She had a very mature response towards it.
4:03 She did. And she called me this morning, actually, when we had a conversation of just, like, parenting and, like, how I was telling her, like, mom, I don't know. I I won't know if I'm doing a good job even with my own
4:13 kids until they get older. Yeah. I'm praying I'm doing the best I can do now with being obedient or with having them disciplined, with raising them to have obedience and all of those things.
4:23 Yep.
4:24 And I was like, mom, I don't I won't know. Yeah. I don't you didn't know. You did the best you could. So now as a grandparent, having yeah. All that other stuff. So yeah.
4:33 I'm sorry. It's true. It's true. Yeah. And, you know, and there are different everybody has different parenting styles. And and, you know, I I want our boys to have, you
4:45 know, certain experiences and and and mental capacity that I had, and I also want them to have different experiences too. And you can't you can't hack you
4:57 can't hack how someone takes, you know, certain things in raising your children. Right? Like, can't guarantee. The fact that we allow our children to have a certain amount of autonomy, you know, in their decision
5:09 making throughout the day and stuff like that. Like, can't guarantee, like, you know, okay. Well, if we do that, that's gonna make them like this. Or if we discipline this, it's gonna make them like this. Like, they
5:20 still have their own autonomy. They still meet other people when we're not around. You know, other voices have effects in their lives.
5:26 And
5:27 so we can do at the end of the day, we could do what we are convicted to do. It's based off our conviction. Right? And, you know, even the people, you know, closest to that we spend a lot of time with Aaron and Erica and
5:39 Nathan and Oz Mhmm. They parent differently.
5:41 Right. Right.
5:42 You know? And and so, you know, even the people we surround ourselves, we're not all carbon copies of what we allow our kids to do and not do, say and not say. You know, everybody's everybody's different in that way.
5:55 And I've met people that were like latchkey kids that basically raised them themselves Mhmm. Because a single mother, and they turned out amazing. So, like, certain rules and disciplines and this and that don't
6:06 guarantee, you know, like, perfect adults or children. Right? Right. So, yeah, I mean, I agree. But let's let's watch the this clip that is, you know, started to, you know, in 4 days,
6:18 you know, 6000000. There's like a trend of millennials cutting off their parents because baby boomer parents don't really involve themselves in their children's life to a period of
6:30 inconvenience. Like the average person's childhood. They were at their grandparents a lot. They were being watched a lot. They were being toted around by their grandparents a lot. And so the millennials are having
6:39 children and they're assuming, okay, my parents are gonna have the same relationship I had with my grandparents. And then they call their parents for anything, the baby boom parents, and their everything's an
6:47 inconvenience. I got stuff going on. I'm still living my life. I'm doing whatever I want when I want. How I want. Well, first of all
6:55 First of all, you weren't
6:56 even done, Andy. Good cut.
6:57 That was great. That's great. That's great.
6:59 Storyteller, bro. Way way to we don't I I never know what Andy cuts, edits, some stuff I like, some stuff I don't, not in terms of what he cut, but just in terms of what I said. Like, oh, you know, I don't
7:11 really There was there was I didn't really believe in what I said. You know? Almost like I said it, but, like, if you, you know, if you held a corner to me, I'd be like, no. I'm I'm good. I don't care about that. You
7:19 know? So so there are times that, Andy will will cut stuff that I'll be like, oh, that's interesting that he thought. Yeah. That that was a standout moment because to me, that maybe didn't. You know? And so and so I'm
7:31 always fascinated because, I mean, this dude's he's pumping out. I don't even know how many clips a week, Andy. How how many are you doing, Andy? Podcast. 7 each podcast. So 2 episodes a week. So
7:42 14 a week. So 60 60 clips a month.
7:47 That's crazy.
7:48 Well done, Andy, man. Yeah. Great job, bro. Thank you for thank you for
7:51 for That's awesome. For for
7:52 and and so let me first say that, you know, why do we why do we do this? Why do we do that? Well, number 1, you know, when you can when you can clip something that is relatable to people or a statement,
8:05 ultimately, for a certain amount of people gets them curious to say, oh, wow. Those people have an interesting view of a perspective of life. Let me look deeper into the actual episode. So, you know, our
8:17 ultimate goal is not to keep people on that clip and just be like us speaking to the choir. And people will be like, oh, yeah. It's so true. Baby boomers. Blah blah. It's for people to say, oh, wow. Like, you had gotten
8:26 messages from people. Right?
8:28 Tons. From that episode? Tons.
8:29 What what you could you tell people what?
8:31 So they I didn't
8:32 get no message. People don't be talking to me. But Well, all a lot of got messages, which is great. Yeah. DM Ashley. You know?
8:38 A lot of people were just saying I felt seen and I felt heard, and a lot of people were saying they were getting emotional because they're dealing with this with their in laws or even with their own parents. So they were
8:48 finding themselves at a standstill of, like, I don't know how to comprehend this. I don't know what to say. I don't know how I should address it. Should I address it? Yeah. But after the episode, they were like, this
9:00 has given me confidence to say, like, yes. I have had this headship over me where I just still want to be obedient to my I wanna honor my parents. And Adam gave
9:12 a great perspective of that's not what that means.
9:16 Yeah. Honor doesn't mean obedience. Yeah.
9:18 Yes. And so they were just like, I'm so glad. Now I have words to put to it to basically say, like, not that I'm gonna stand up and, like, go against my parents, but it's something where now can you hear
9:30 me? For sure. Can you can you hear my heart? Can you hear where I'm at? Can you see where I'm at? Yeah. And and and how this possibly could even just as much as I'm honoring you in the sense of of respect,
9:42 it hurts me. Yeah. Because there's a level where out of my respect of you, I'm I'm taking the the brunt of it. Right. And that's not fair. So, a a lot of women were
9:53 basically saying that they were they really appreciated it. They really enjoyed it, and that some of them were like, I gotta listen to it again, and I'm sharing it.
10:01 Yeah. And I think, know, that's why we do it. I mean, the the the ultimate goal beyond I do is to is to bring relationships and marriages stronger with each other Mhmm. And also stronger with Christ. You know? And so
10:13 we're we're we're Christians first. And so historically, we've called it like the third party when we've done marriage counseling is like everybody needs a third party. Lawyers are third parties. Judges are third
10:23 parties. You know, like, you know, insurance brokers, all that. That's a third party. Right? We go to third parties all the time. Where in your marriage? Where in your family do you go to a third party? For us, it's
10:33 Jesus. He's our third party. He's our authority. Everything he he leads us to do trumps our feelings, our emotions. But within that, it's a priority. That's our that's our main goal. But within that are just
10:45 real life things that you experience that are connected to our faith, but also are just naturally part of life. And so that episode is is in
10:57 particular 1 that you could, if you're a Christian, you have to walk in grace and humility and compassion. And so that that is a higher standard. That's a higher calling. But, you know, believer or
11:09 unbeliever could listen to an episode like that and say, oh, wow. I really see feel seen. I feel heard. I feel like most people don't talk about their relationship and their life and all that. And so, you know, we it
11:20 allows you and I, we're we're so to say people's third party where they could say, wow. I didn't know. I thought I was living in an echo chamber where I was the only 1 dealing with parent a parent situation like this.
11:30 And then they realize there's 6000000 other people, you know, who who are feeling this too. Right? And so
11:37 6.9?
11:38 It's 6000000 flat. It's, like, 5.9. That's crazy. And so I'm sure by the end of the week, it'll be, you know, 9, 10. I mean, because Well, what's crazy? 4 months ago that, you know, just every day
11:50 gets another few hundred, you know, a few thousand
11:52 You didn't know that that 1 was, you know, clipped because majority of the ones that we get tagged in. So that 1 obvious or you get tagged in.
11:58 Alize forgot to tag us
11:59 Thank goodness.
12:00 On that 1 she said.
12:01 That's right. Because clearly, you saw how far it was. They're like, no.
12:04 She's like, oh, I didn't add Adam as a collaborate. Let me do it now. I'm like I'm like, that might be the trick. Stop tagging me. People don't wanna hear from me.
12:12 But that was a great clip. It really was. It really does open up conversations, but then I also believe it opens up conversations that people aren't having Yeah. That they need to be having with their parents, that they
12:23 need to be addressing because the honestly, after we had the conversation with my mom, she has now come to a point where she goes, I just wanna do whatever I can to help you and Adam.
12:34 That was in her prayer this morning. She prayed for us, and she goes, God, just give me the wisdom and and allow me to help Adam, however Adam and Ashley, however you see
12:46 fit.
12:47 Yeah. And, like, you know, Easter Sunday, biggest weekend in our church's history. And and really busy, I mean, you know, spoke multiple times all weekend,
12:59 and your mom was like, hey. I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm I'm I'm I'm gonna I'm gonna go to your house. Mhmm. So you guys don't have to drive, but I'm gonna go to your house. I'm gonna help with your kids. I'm gonna go grab
13:11 some catering from from Cardenas. I'm get some Mexican food. I'll bring it house. So and then I walked in. Everybody said hello. She's like, Adam, like, you don't have to host us. Go take a nap. Go. I'm here. I'm here to
13:22 help you on the biggest weekend.
13:24 Yeah.
13:24 And really in my whole ministry being that it was a a record setter for our church. So it was like, wow. That care that was like, wow. Didn't have to ask you pro, but also the more that the more awareness
13:36 your mom has had because for all intents and per your mom didn't like your mom's an incredible believer and and and has been saved and in the church forever, but has been, like, on staff at a church. So so
13:47 the, you know, the more that, like, it's just like, oh, you guys are doing this, this, this, this. Like, wow. That's a lot. How can I help? And so your mom has responded in a great way to be like, oh, I just didn't in
13:59 some ways, I didn't really know how busy you were or how much this was. And so rather than make it harder on you guys, like, actually want I wanna help, and I'm gonna inconvenience myself Yeah. You know, for
14:11 my next generation. Right? Which is like, in a sense, an added legacy that your mom's gonna have as she gets, you know, much older and and not not that she's old now, but, yeah, she gets much older and our kids become
14:23 young adults and all that. Like, they're gonna have this memory of like, wow. Grandma really helped hold it down, you know, on a regular basis. And your mom has always said and and she's really done like an amazing job
14:35 helping that. And so so my parents, but your mom has like really been pulling us aside and having more like, give me a list of what you need. And so but like, your mom has always said like, you
14:47 know, like, if you guys are busy, I want I want your sons to be around family first. Like, I their your mom's like, I love that the boys have like play aunts and play uncles and play cousins. Like, that's important.
14:59 Like, I'm so for that. But if I'm available, you know, like, I want them to have memories with grandma because I'll always be here, you know? And that's true. Friendship changes and all that. And, you know, family
15:11 changes too, but it's very it's much more rare. Right? So it's just that mature awareness that for from from your mom's generation and my parents have really been stepping in lately and helping taking the boys to school.
15:22 It's like, it's just an awareness to be like, oh, wow. May maybe I maybe maybe this could be an added legacy that I it doesn't always have to be financial. It doesn't have to be, you know, a college fund. A
15:33 presence is a present. Right?
15:36 Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think that with her doing that, it I will say, obviously, being my mom, there's been many of conversations, though.
15:46 For sure.
15:47 Many of con this isn't something that had happened overnight between us. It was conversations of, here's Adam's schedule. This is what he's doing, and here's my schedule, and this is what I'm doing. This is the load
15:59 that I'm taking on when my husband's traveling. This is the load we're both taking on when we're home. So we've also invited her as well into our home. But
16:11 there also is still a level 2 of healthy conversations and kinda hard conversations too of understanding when, like, mom, I am overwhelmed right now. Or, hey. I do need a little bit
16:23 more right now.
16:23 Yep.
16:24 Or, hey. I don't know what to do. And you being can you help me still? And I think there's a level of ownership when you allow and you can trust your parents. And, obviously, some people
16:36 may not have that, and it may take some time to either rebuild that trust or to gain the trust. But I would say it's worth it in the end because me and my mom can just have healthy, free flowing conversations as a mother
16:47 and daughter, but then also as just people that are going in the same direction, and we want my children and our marriage to point at Christ always. My mom is always gonna be the 1 that knows who our
16:59 third party is Mhmm. In Christ. And so any way that she can implement or help and and undergird, that's why she takes the kids more instead of having the aunties is because she's like, okay. I I
17:11 trust who my daughter and son have watching my grandkids, but I would love to be that person that they can trust even more knowing that
17:20 Yeah.
17:20 I'm gonna take him to school. I'm gonna pray for them. They're gonna go to But she's retired,
17:24 and so there's an availability Yeah. You know, to to to to her life. Right. And your mom is a get up and go person. So Yeah. She doesn't view the kids, so to say, as an inconvenience. Like, if she's gonna if, like, your
17:36 mom, like, if she's if she you know, your mom, you know, talks to a lot of, like, seniors, women's in the church and stuff like so she's like, if I'm visiting a senior woman in the church, if I'm watching Matthias
17:46 Thomas, they're coming with me.
17:47 Yeah. Like,
17:48 others would be like, oh, then I have to cancel this because I can't take, you know, a 4 year old and a 7 year old to a convalescent home or I got or I got this, you know, this event that's, you know, this she's like,
17:59 no. Y'all are going.
18:00 Yep.
18:01 And you don't get your iPads and and we respect that. And there's give and take. Right? Your mom doesn't like the boys the boys on iPads. Mhmm. And we don't go, well, we let them. That's our parenting style. We say, hey.
18:11 If you're with grandma, you know, we respect that.
18:13 Mhmm.
18:13 And and if grandma it's grandma's call, If she don't want you, we we respect when she's watching you guys. But then Thomas recently,
18:18 he goes She sure did.
18:19 But I told her on her iPad, then she's not allowed to be on her phone. You know? She
18:24 did. Yeah. Yeah. He said that, and I called her that morning. And I said, hey, mom. I know the boys are coming over, but I want you to know what your grandson said. And this is what he said. And so I'm I'm
18:34 4 old, man. 4 year old. That boy worries me. He's doing that at 4.
18:38 And so she was like, I'm not on my phone that much, but it also gives it it gives room for us to be self reflective, not just in that situation. But like even yesterday, told Matthias the same thing. I said, you
18:50 lost iPad iPad privileges. You were disrespectful, x y and z. And then so I'm on my phone when I when I get into the driveway, and he goes, well, you're on your phone. And I'm like, that's not how that
19:01 works, first
19:02 of all. Yeah. First of all, you're disciplined.
19:04 You're right. You're being disciplined. Yeah. Yeah. But they're very quick to see if things that you're requesting of them that you're not upholding your end, that they're gonna tell you how it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So,
19:15 like, they know going to grandma Betsy's, they go, we know we're gonna go learn. Yeah.
19:20 Read books. Which is which is fun.
19:22 Active and they go and play in the backyard.
19:24 Yeah. Your mom She's very
19:25 active with
19:25 them. Yeah.
19:26 So Yeah. But
19:28 And and then they go to my parents, and and my mom's like, go movies, go play, go on your iPad however long, and then we'll have to call she opposite. So we'll call my mom and be like, tell them to get off their iPad,
19:37 take them to a park or something. So, you know, different parents. But for us, we're not like, everybody's different. But I also do think if there is 1 bad thing about the millennial side, it's the we think that our way
19:48 is right. Mhmm. And so we tell, like, our parents, you you treat them you know, you if you're gonna watch them, you need to watch them and do everything we do at our home, or we're not gonna let you
20:00 have the privilege of seeing your grandchildren. And I think that's really goofy. You know? Obviously, everybody's conviction is everybody's conviction, and this whole these whole episodes have been you and I just
20:11 sharing our 2 cents and our perspective. You know, I I think that you can't have it both ways. And so, you know, and our and we're seeing it. Like, oldest is 7, youngest is 4. They adapt.
20:23 And and and, you know, they they go from our home that has certain rules and standards and this and that. And and then they go to, you know, my parents' home and there's a different style of rules and standard and then
20:35 they go to your mom's and and they and they and they structure. Like, they're, you know, like, they're they're aware and there's different fun. Like, they know when they're with, you know, your mom that more than likely
20:45 they're gonna be with all their older cousins. So they they think that's so fun. Then when they're with my mom, there's potential that either they get a target run or or the younger cousins that are their age are gonna
20:54 be there potentially. And so and so for me, you know, as long as as long as my main concern is, don't let my boys cut up. So that's something both grandparents have
21:06 to agree with. Your mom is more of 1 that's not gonna let that happen. My mom is 1 that so that she wouldn't let it happen. It's just
21:13 she lets
21:13 tell that. She lets a lot of stuff it takes a lot to bother my mom. Yeah. You know? And so, I mean, she raised me, so she has a high pain tolerance.
21:20 So Very high.
21:21 So to what's big deal to us, my mom's like, it it really wasn't that big of a deal. And I'm like, mom, that's a big deal for me. I don't want Matthias talking like that or doing it. Or talking
21:30 back or anything.
21:31 Yeah. And and they'll and they'll discipline, but they won't tell us. My my my Ashley's mom, she'll tell us what she did. So that, you know, there's difference. And and and we're okay with that. And we talk about what
21:41 we're, you know, what we're good with and what we're not good with. And, you know, you know, me and your mom just had this when at on Easter when she was at our house, 1 of my nephews went in the fridge and your mom's
21:51 like, don't go in your uncle's fridge without asking. And then I was like, I'm good with it. So I went to my nephew and was like, you go in my fridge whenever you want. And then me and your mom were just like, yeah, just
22:00 different styles. So she's like, when you're at my home, you better not get that
22:03 That popsicle, you better ask Thomas.
22:05 But, again, it's just them learning and and their their, you know, children are so moldable and adaptable that they'll they'll trigger really fast. When I met Uncle Adam and Ashley's, they're good with me doing this.
22:16 They're not good with me doing this. You know, you can't I have a lot of, like, nice collectible things. Yeah. You know, like, you know, Star Wars stuff and this and that and and it they're not all toys and so, you gotta
22:26 learn like if you're at my house, it may look cool but don't touch it because it's probably really valuable and then, you can to and then anything you can touch, if you break it, it's like to me, I don't have a lot you
22:36 know, I'm like, I'm okay with. You know? Right. So children are, flexible.
22:42 They are.
22:42 And, when they're at our both of our parents' house or whatever that is, like, we understand everything may not go.
22:49 Yeah. And I agree. I think I I think we're gonna get a lot of backlash on the, millennial side of things.
22:56 I don't think so. I mean, we went hard on baby boomers.
22:58 We did. But It's not bad.
22:59 Millennial perspective of it. We want our kids raised to certain but I'm telling you, can't grow that game. If your kids are going to if they're if your kids are not homeschooled, even if they're going to private school,
23:10 public school, whatever it is, they are going to be exposed to different parenting styles, different the teachers are gonna say different. They So if you to me, if you cannot raise resilient childrenShow more
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