Skip to content Beyond the Letter || Night 11 || ALFC Fresh Start Dec 7 · 58 min ...more
Beyond the Letter || Night 11 || ALFC Fresh Start
December 7, 2023 · 58 min
If you would like to create and register for your Church Pass visit: https://alfc.church.ai/onboarding/create-profileIf you would like to support this ministry in reaching people around the globe, click here: https://www.alfc.faith/giveIf you’ve just made a decision for Christ and said YES, please respond HERE: https://www.grow.faith/If you are new, please click HERE: https://bit.ly/alfcnewguestJoin us every Sunday for service at 9am and 11am, as well as Wednesdays at 7:00pmStay ConnectedALFC Website: https://www.alfc.faith/ALFC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alfc.church/
Series Patria Sermons December 7, 2023 · 58 min · Patria Sermons
If you would like to create and register for your Church Pass visit: https://alfc.church.ai/onboarding/create-profileIf you would like to support this ministry in reaching people around the globe, click here: https://www.alfc.faith/giveIf you’ve just made a decision for Christ and said YES, please respond HERE: https://www.grow.faith/If you are new, please click HERE: https://bit.ly/alfcnewguestJoin us every Sunday for service at 9am and 11am, as well as Wednesdays at 7:00pmStay ConnectedALFC Website: https://www.alfc.faith/ALFC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alfc.church/ ...more Show the full description Show less If you would like to create and register for your Church Pass visit: https://alfc.church.ai/onboarding/create-profileIf you would like to support this ministry in reaching people around the globe, click here: https://www.alfc.faith/giveIf you’ve just made a decision for Christ and said YES, please respond HERE: https://www.grow.faith/If you are new, please click HERE: https://bit.ly/alfcnewguestJoin us every Sunday for service at 9am and 11am, as well as Wednesdays at 7:00pmStay ConnectedALFC Website: https://www.alfc.faith/ALFC Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alfc.church/
Series Patria Sermons Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Support this leader
Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Give
Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
492K followers
Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
492K followers
In this video 0:00 Understanding the Fivefold Ministry11:40 Breaking Generational Curses21:43 Navigating Family Dynamics and Forgiveness30:50 Understanding Speaking in Tongues46:39 Dating, Community, and Surrendering to God
Understanding the Fivefold Ministry 0:01 Welcome to the ALSC podcast. Here at ALSC, we seek the lost, teach the found, and send the disciples. We truly hope you are encouraged by this week's message.0:13 As this is beyond the letter night, some of you guys may be new. Thank you for joining us. We've done this this year. First Wednesday of every month, we've taken from our podcast and kind of brought in you bring the0:23 questions, we'll bring in the conversation. So some of our pastoral team that is here, which Sanaz is the only 1 at the table that's not a titled ordained pastor, but come this New Year's Eve, she will be ordained as0:35 a pastor, along with a few other people on our team. So we're excited for that, as well. So you guys come New Year's Eve, and it's gonna be a special time. We're gonna celebrate some of that as well on top of our0:47 abundant music. But people have asked questions. We're gonna bring a biblical conversation around. Some questions deal with life. Some questions deal with the bible theology. But however they ask it, we're gonna try to0:57 bring, biblical and Christian response to it as best as we can and always see what the Lord does through this. So we got 2 in person questions, I believe, for this Wednesday night. And so, hello. Thank you for joining1:08 us. Why don't you introduce yourself and share your question with us?1:12 Well, good evening, everyone. And my name is Angela Cobb Danley. I've been attending here at AFLC since about July. Oh, great. So, kinda new
1:23 Welcome. Thanks for joining us.
1:25 Thank you. Yeah. So my question is and you kinda answered at least a portion of it just a second ago, but, what is ALFC stance on the 5 fold ministry
1:37 gifts as described in Ephesians 4 11 and 12? But specifically, do you believe these gifts were given to both men and women or only men?
1:49 Great question. You, you wanna take this first, pastor? You want me want me
1:53 dig in? Well, yes. Abundant living believes in, Ephesians 4 11, Ephesians 4 12, and the Ephesians 4 13, which I think need to be read
2:05 together to get the full content of what's being spoken because it it talks about why there is the 5 fold ministry. So she's referring to, the 5 fold ministry
2:17 being the gifts that work within the church, the leadership that governs the church. So that is pastors, teachers, evangelists, prophets, and and apostles.
2:29 Did I say that right?
2:30 Yes.
2:30 Yeah. Yeah. So that's a 5 fold ministry and all of them, we're not gonna go into the teaching of that, have a distinct gift mix and a purpose.
2:49 Fulfillment of, the 5 gifts. But it's for the perfecting of the saints. So we need all that to cause maturity because it's like first Corinthians 12. Not all of us are the ear. Not all of
3:01 us are the foot. And so we need that part of the body.
3:13 Theological perspective of the gift versus the title. And how many people use extremes calling themselves, but they don't have the gift to back it up. And
3:25 so just because you flow on a gift doesn't make you the. Secondly, in relationship to that, I believe the spirit of God and Joel, he'll pour out his spirit on all flesh,
3:37 which is and in the new testament, we see women that prophesied. And so I believe that we need not only the fivefold gifts, male and
3:49 female within what they bring and how God uses them in those gifts. And we talked oftentimes about Timothy. Let the women learn to be silent and explain what that meant and
4:01 the abuse that was being existed at that particular time. But to answer your question, we believe in the 5 fold ministry. We believe they could be male as well as female equally,
4:13 dispersed. I personally believe according to the scriptures is is that prophets and apostles are higher gifts. Doesn't mean they're,
4:25 more elite I just believe they're the gifts of the spirit flow a lot of
4:38 And so, I've heard people that don't have no experience in ministry say, I'm a prophet, and I'm an apostle. I believe those are earned gifts through faithfulness of being a teacher,
4:50 pastor, and evangelists over a period of time that God entrusts you with the gift of being a prophet and being an apostle. And at the end of the day, to whom much is
5:02 given, much is required, James tells us it would better that you never teach the gospel than want that gift because you will have a higher judgment than the laity who do not walk in
5:13 those gifts.
5:15 Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I think, if you want if it's more comfortable for you to say it, you're more than welcome to. Yeah. But I'll I'll talk a little more on it. I know that there's always that awkward moment you're
5:26 just standing there and you're like but, as pastor Diego said, I would say in addition, and if anyone wants to study Ephesians 4, you're more than welcome to. But, what we have to remember, even when we
5:37 talk about the gifts of the spirit as well, is, not only are these gifts, but this is this is this is an office in which a person operates. And because you know, because we have
5:49 a particular in the American Western construct, we have a fascination with titles. We we love titles. We love president and vice president. We love these honorifics. Right? We love to go get degrees and
6:01 put letters at the end of our last names, and we we love these honorifics. And so you particularly see in the American church, we've we've highly, highly exasperated the title of these offices. So
6:13 someone wants to pursue these things because I wanna be called evangelist so and so. I wanna be called prophet so and so. I wanna be called apostle so and so. But when you read the new testament, people weren't
6:24 necessarily referred to as their office. That was that's just their gifting. That's what God's called them to do. So you notice like the apostle Paul says, a servant and an apostle. So Paul so Paul said,
6:36 my title is servant of Christ. Yeah. My office is apostle, which means the Apostle Paul had a heart for the global church. And so that's where you're operating in the office and we're talking about, like pastor Diego
6:48 said, not spiritual gifts, but leadership structure in the body of Christ. And so, you know, whether a church recognizes those titles or not, those are offices that God has enabled. So
7:00 it's active in the global church. Whether a church leans towards using those titles or not, God is still operating those offices. So there may be a guy who calls himself a pastor, but he
7:12 operates in the office of apostolic. He just doesn't title it that. And there's nothing wrong with that, but anyone here's the way I put it in a very simple term. There are spiritual leaders who have a heart for the
7:24 global church. So more than likely and they get really involved in the global church, and they wanna see the global church thrive and move forward, and they're not just about their city, they're also about what God's
7:35 doing nationally and internationally, more than likely that person operates in the in the office of an apostolic office. But they may say, you'll notice, when Catholicism transition and Protestantism came in the great
7:46 reformation, what John Calvin, a few other guys said is they said, hey, the Catholic church abused titles. Bishop and priest and blah blah. So what they said was, in our churches,
7:58 everybody's gonna be a pastor and a shepherd because everybody is equal, but yet people may operate in different offices. So that's why today because we come from the Protestant Reformation, you hear about more pastors,
8:10 But if you read your bible in Ephesians 4 says the word pastor, that to me that's not an accurate translation because really what that Greek word is shepherd. And so and so it's not really pastor. We
8:22 we use the title now pastor as an a verse of equality because people would take, levels to each of those giftings and abuse it. So for us, we there are a lot you know, we have 12 or 13 pastors on our
8:34 staff. If you were to ask me, do they operate all in the teaching gift or all in the in the shepherding gift? No. We have some people on our team that are great that are great prophets. They're great evangelists.
8:46 They're great they're great. They have apostolic calling. So to me, that happens in churches all over. And so the only reason why you see it less and less today where people are titling themselves because a lot
8:58 of great abuse has happened in the American church as of late with people abusing these titles to gain authority over people's personal lives
9:11 draw. Well, well, to me, those are pretty egregious statements, to tell someone. And so you've seen a lot of the church, even though I believe there is right now renewal, where God's taking the 5 full ministry. I
9:23 believe I have more of a gifting, of a apostolic gifting, because I'm very much involved in the global church. But I would never I would personally never feel the conviction that this is what I think everyone should call
9:35 me. I'm happy to say in private, I I don't necessarily have the shepherding gift. I don't necessarily though I may be a good teacher, I I I lean more towards I wanna see the global
9:46 church win, and it's what I talk about all the time. Believe God has called Pastor Adam. But you you talk to Pastor Aaron. He loves the scriptures, or you talk to Pastor Kenny. Pastor Kenny loves
9:58 to sit with people and talk for 3, 4, 5 hours. This guy has the heart of a shepherd. He can sit with you for 6 hours, I can't. I'm like, let's fix your problem in 10 minutes, and let's figure out how we
10:10 can conquer the world for Jesus. It's it's it doesn't mean 1 is right or wrong, it means God has gifted each of these leaders in very different ways to benefit global church.
10:22 So embrace the 5 fold ministry. If you feel called to ministry, more than welcome to ever approach us and we could talk to you about where the Lord may be calling you because this is, this is church leadership.
10:34 Spiritual gift by the Holy Spirit, go through our growth track because we talk about that. And and we're not talking about the leadership struggle with that. We're talking about you. How do you discover your personal
10:44 gift? Go to our website, join a growth track, and you'll really discover those things. So, thank you guys. Thank you so much for asking it, and hopefully we gave, we could spend hours talking about it.
10:56 1 final thought, which which was excellent you brought up in the office is that all these gifts operate through a local church. Yeah. And if anyone comes to you with those titles and does not have
11:08 a home church where they're submitted to a pastor then they're outside of the will of God. You've got all these independent free floating franchise tumbleweeds that just float in,
11:19 drop all these prophecies, all these conviction, and all this condemnation, and then fly out to the next location. And that is absolutely unbiblical. The great apostle Paul had
11:31 a home church. It was in Antioch, and you could go there when he wasn't traveling, and you'd see him sitting in the front row serving his church and his pastor. Yeah.
Breaking Generational Curses
11:41 That's great. Okay. Let's go to the site. We got another in person 1. You've asked 1 before, my friend. I'm glad you're asking again. Good to see you, bro. Representing your men's 2 52 shirt. Yeah. Alright. Go ahead,
11:53 brother.
11:53 Alright. I'm Justin. And, my question has to do with, like, generational curses and, like, sins of the father. But I have, like, 7 I watched this video that, 1 of these, like, pastors from, like, maybe the eighties
12:05 had mentioned, like, there's, like, 7 signs that he kinda conjured up that, if you have these, that, maybe it's a sign that you're under a curse. Like, you have generational curses.
12:16 K.
12:16 So, like, the 7 were, like, if you have, like, mental, emotional breakdowns, like, you know, a breakdown, that's 1 sign. Repeated or chronic sickness, especially if they're
12:28 hereditary. Like, for example, like, doctor can't find out what's wrong. Right? Like, those phantom illnesses. 3 is like female problems. So like barrenness, menstruation,
12:41 repeated miscarriages. 4, breakdown of marriage, family alienation, things like that. 5 is financial insufficiency. So not if, you know, you have a shortcoming,
12:53 you know, everybody goes through, you know, tough times, but if you always are coming up short financially, right, like lifelong, poverty. 6 is like accident prone. So
13:05 something is always happening to you. Like, you're always the 1
13:07 to break your ankle when you fall
13:09 off the curb. Something's always getting into your eye, things like that. So always something happening to you. And then last, history of suicide. So, like, unnatural deaths. Right? So and, like, families
13:20 riddled with, unnatural deaths and things like that. So he's not saying that, like, if you have 1 of these things that, oh, you know, you're cursed. That's a curse. But, like, if you if you have a lot of these things
13:32 that he's saying that, you know, maybe these things are signs of a curse, and then he kinda concluded with saying, like, a curse is like a dark shadow from the past over your life, shutting out the sunshine of God's
13:43 blessings in your life. So yeah. I had questions about, like, curses and then also, like, if there's any, like, relevancy to that and, like, send the father type thing.
13:54 Cool. Thanks, Justin. Thanks for asking it. Alright. Any anyone anyone wanna tackle that that first? I have thoughts and opinions, but I'll I'll
14:04 open the Well, again, yes. There's, again, the the longer you live and been in the church world, they come in cycles. They come in cycles.
14:16 So these things hit the top. Deliverance. Everything is about evangelism. Everything is about prayer. Everything is about the scriptures. Everything is about worship. And all these things are important, but
14:28 people become zealots about it and they magnify it above something else. So they come in cycles. And if you live long enough and are in the church, you'll hear that. And there's a lot about
14:39 deliverance right now, a lot about deliverance right now. And there's a lot of truth to that because people are, endeavoring to participate and be involved in sinish
14:51 activities, deviant activities. To spirits. And these
15:03 spirits have attributes, or strengths that they work in, that make human beings fall victim. But that curse has to have permission. You
15:15 have to open the door. You have to feed into it. The Bible says a curse can come to 4 generations, but the blessing comes to a a thousand generations. So the
15:27 blessing is stronger than the curse. The next scripture says, the curse shall not come on the causeless. Yeah. It shall not come on the causeless. So you can't put a curse on me because I'm under the blood of Jesus
15:38 Christ. And so there's no competition there. Jesus Christ outpowers any level of curse. But again, that could be stopped in your life.
15:50 That could be true That those characteristics are there. They're, again, not 1 time experiences. They're habitual practices in people's lives. And the list is not 7. You could go on and on and on and on and talk way more
16:02 about, you know, disrespect with your kids, kind of thing. Can't you know, disrespect with your kids kind of thing and can't hold down a job and, you know, a relational breakdown. All those things are are byproducts of
16:14 those things. But yes, spirits can be transferred. It's like an open door. And once a generation comes under the authority of Christ, submits to it,
16:25 takes authority through the blood of Jesus Christ. So it ends it ends at that point and people don't have to walk, in fear anymore to those kinds of things. So I would
16:37 say bottom line, yes, it's real. But at the same time, the power of God, the grace of God and the blood of Jesus is absolutely more powerful. And the more you submit and yield to God,
16:49 you'll break the curse off of someone's life or your life.
16:53 Yeah. I'll I'll just give a verse that that goes with what you're saying and we could go to the next 1 because I don't think you say much more to it. But Galatians chapter 3 verse 9 to 10, Justice says this. So those who
17:05 rely on faith are blessed along with Abraham, the man of faith. For all who rely on the works of the law are under a curse.
17:19 The book of the law. In other words, if you're going to subject yourself outside of Christ, under the law of God, which blood of Jesus,
17:31 we're all subject to the regulation of God's law, which means everyone is susceptible of the curses that come with not following God's law. And so the only place you can
17:43 find generational curses for the most part is only in the new testament, because the new testament is where the law is housed. The new testament is where the law is fulfilled by Jesus.
17:55 So you won't see much of a generational curse in the New Testament because the New Testament has everything to do with freedom Yeah. In Jesus. The Old Testament has everything to do with bondage to the law and
18:07 how you and I cannot live up to God's standard. So, yes, everyone is susceptible to the curses and the hardships that falling short of God's grace will
18:19 will will award you, and it can pass down generationally. Not only because there's a spiritual component, but there's also a natural component of it too. Because you got to think God God works spiritually, but he also
18:30 works naturally. So if as a man you have a spiritual, curse of womanizing, well guess what? If you're a child and you see your father womanizing his whole life, if you don't get freedom, then
18:42 guess what? Not only there's a spiritual weight, but also you grew up seeing it every single day.
18:47 For sure.
18:48 So so it's what you know. So more than likely, you're gonna build an appetite for that as well. If you grew up around abuses, whether it be alcoholic abuse, drug abuse, verbal abuse,
19:00 well, more than likely, unless you get freedom, you're gonna have that curse. If you grew up in your you had a parent that went from job to job to job, and that's all you knew and you never saw faithfulness in a job,
19:10 then there's a spiritual element of warfare, but there's also the natural element where it's all you saw. So you that's what you were taught at a young age. So you're catching it as well. And so that's where the
19:21 generational curse kind of roots. But all in all, according to the book of Galatians, that's why it's so important to preach the gospel and preach freedom to our loved ones and neighbors because not only is the gospel
19:32 transformative in heaven, it's transformative in this life with the curses that that that we have built an appetite to that we we not only is it there, but we love to embrace it
19:44 at times. It satiates us. And so that's why we need to be delivered from that, like pastor just said,
19:59 resurrection. And so, to preach the gospel in our daily life is so important. Have a friend that's like that, or I got a family member like that. Well, they they deserve freedom in Jesus.
20:11 So it's important to offer that to them. Whether they choose it or not, that's up to them. But but we should at least present it to them way out of that fornicating. You know that, right? There's a way out of this broken
20:23 marriage. You know that, right? The Lord can offer freedom. Are you open to that? And and it's a great way to share the gospel with someone outside of, you know, just saying, hey, come to church with me on a Sunday.
20:34 Which that that can be a way as well. But but but as pastor Diego just really put it well, there are other great alternatives as well.
20:41 So Can I share something really briefly? And and it goes to what pastor Diego said earlier. The benefits of being connected to a local church. Because when you're connected to a local church and you're hearing outside
20:52 noise about deliverance, you'll know if you're a part of a l f c family, deliverance equals forward at ALFC. This is how someone finds freedom. So if you're inviting someone to church and they're new and they're like,
21:03 man, I've been seeing a lot of this deliverance, people doing this. Oh, yeah. ALFC, we have 4 we have an experience where you could find freedom. Also, I've been around people that are like, I'm breaking generational
21:13 curses. To pastor Diego's point, and I will affirm, it's not us that breaks the generational curse, it's the power of Jesus working through us. Because it ends up being a lot of, like, pressure on us to uphold
21:25 it for, like, our family and the next legacy and everything.
21:28 Or if you mess up again, you're like, oh, it's fast. I asked, okay. He's gonna continue. Back. It just,
21:32 you know. That that freedom and that power is found through Jesus, not not through our determination and our will.
21:39 That's great.
21:40 Yeah.
21:40 Alright. Let's go to the first written question we have today. Is it okay for is it okay to distance myself from some of my siblings who do not help our mother? They don't visit her, take her to the
Navigating Family Dynamics and Forgiveness
21:52 store, or to doctor's visits. I'm the only 1 who helps her. With that said, I don't wanna talk to them. I could love them from afar. Is that the Christian way to handle it? Yeah.
22:04 And so Yeah. Sanaz, I'll give you to this 1 first. I'm finished.
22:07 Yeah. You know, I I I I read that and I kind of can sense a tone in the way that this person, writes it. And so I would
22:19 say, first and foremost, yes. If it's going to benefit you to distance yourself from your siblings, that's okay. If that's going to make you that's gonna bring peace to you.
22:31 However, be careful with how you view your siblings because even though that you'll say you'll love them from afar and you know, but but they don't help and they don't do this and they don't do this and
22:43 I do everything for my mother. The scripture says it says in Ephesians 4 31 and 32, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you
22:55 along with all malice. Be kind to 1 another, tenderhearted, forgiving 1 another as God in Christ has forgiven you. So we have to think about I would
23:07 encourage this person, do you forgive your siblings for the fact that they have not helped as much as you have? Or when you think about
23:18 them and their activity with mom, does that spark up bitterness and anger in you? And if that's the case, that is something that you have to take to the Lord. Because
23:30 when you say I'm gonna distance myself, but I'm gonna love them from far, it is okay for you to not have an everyday relationship with somebody who is
23:42 not healthy for you. That's okay. Even if it's your sibling. However, if that distance is causing these types of feelings that the Bible says we should be putting those
23:54 away and forgiving 1 another, we have to take a stance of forgiving our siblings for the fact that they have not participated in the way that you have, and work on a relationship where you
24:06 can truly forgive them and then be at peace with not having that relationship. But that's a that's a that's something that you have to work with yourself and God 1 on 1, and
24:18 and really figure out and and be honest with yourself about the way that you feel towards your siblings so that you can move forward and not have not bring more strife to the family and for your mother who
24:30 you take care of.
24:33 I completely agree with that. I'd also add to compliment. I think that this is a question about boundaries. And to Sanaz's point, yes. Boundaries are healthy. But
24:45 boundaries are I love you and myself at the same time. So the question is is it is it is it appropriate for a Christian to respond this way? Yes. If I'm
24:56 loving that person. So if I'm loving that person while I'm loving myself, that means that equals distance, yes. But if it's trying to figure out how we will navigate the relationship moving forward,
25:08 navigate the relationship moving forward through the lens of forgiveness. Sometimes we mesh the 2. Also, I don't we don't know the context. So sometimes we have expectations
25:20 of our siblings to do things without asking them. So that's what Martha did. She went to Jesus. She said, my sister won't help me. Martha, why don't you ask Mary and see what Mary would do type
25:32 thing. So confront the person in love because love believes the best. Maybe they don't know how much you're helping or how much they can do. Once you quantify, okay, they are rejecting this. They don't have
25:43 skin in the game. Now to Sanaz's point, yes, we forgive. Not so we could be friends, so we could be free. Yeah.
25:52 That's great. You both answered it. 1 of the things I would just ask this person if we're talking and if it's you who asked, come chat with us or something like that if you wanna talk more.
26:04 But 1 of the things I would say, how does your mother feel about it? How's your mom feel about it? And the second thing is, do your siblings know how you feel? Have you have you shared it with them? And number and
26:16 number 3, have any of you, because it seems like you all are a bit older because you could drive and pick them up, pick your mother up and stuff, Is, I don't know what your family structure is, but it may not hurt. Has
26:28 anyone ever called a family meeting, you know, and had a conversation? Hey, how are we going to look after mom? Is it is this all on me? Your siblings may say, we we thought you enjoyed it. We thought you had it covered.
26:40 You know, and you just seem so because some people in the family are just the helpers, you know. And, and they just they just man, that's that's that's a gift, you know. Where it's
26:52 almost like a Martha. Right? You're setting up the home and and you're saying, Jesus, tell my sister to help me. But you also love to do that. And so in your own love to do it, you can't resent others if that's what you
27:03 love to do. You may 1 day be like, hey guys, I can't take mom to the doctor this Tuesday. It's on 1 of y'all. And play it out to the last minute. And if no 1 does it, then still take mom, but be like, I
27:15 put it out there. I wasn't gonna do it. And that's the first time I've ever said that. Like, give them an opportunity to step in and and play that. And you may say, I've done all those things, and then, you know, that's
27:25 where, you know, take take this great advice right here. But but, let that be a last ditch scenario because, you know, family's family. And and I'll I'll tell you this 1 day, if a family member passes
27:36 away, you are gonna have to look at each other at that funeral. And you're gonna have to find a place where you love each other, or you're just gonna walk away as strangers. And, I just know from experience doing
27:46 funerals, you know, those experience either make or break people. And and it's just best to try to reconcile as much as possible and as soon as possible. And so, when when when we when me and
27:58 my brothers first started working at the church and we started working for my dad, we we we knew him as a father, but we didn't know him as a boss. So we had a lot of chaos for a season because my dad's a visionary and
28:09 he he steamrolls you with his vision because it's big. And so you can easily get offended by that and think that he means something by it, but really he's just on fire for what he believes in. And so 1 day, either
28:21 we suggested or my dad suggested, he said, talk about what you guys need from me. And, and we did that. We said, hey, we think you we think you
28:33 steamroll us. We think this. And then he started to explain to us, no. Visionary. Why don't you guys run with me? And if I'm ever crossing a line, tell me. Let's talk about
28:45 it face to face instead of you feeling like you gotta go talk about it with your wives or whatever. And so what we noticed was, what we were thinking his intention was wasn't until we got in a room
28:57 and talked about it. Then our perspective completely changed and was like, I didn't I didn't know dad even operated that way. So in this case, if you haven't already, maybe you have, but
29:09 try to get all the siblings together. Don't do it at Christmas. Don't do it at Thanksgiving. Do it in a different day, but try to get on try to get on get on the same page and say, how are we looking after mom? And and
29:20 you tell them, I feel like you guys leave me alone a lot to do this by myself. And, let them step out or let them show their true colors, and then I'd say take their great advice, which is protect your
29:31 boundaries and your heart at that point.
29:33 And I would also encourage I would also say at that family meeting, to come from a place that you wanna hear what they have to say and that you're not just leading the conversation.
29:46 Because when I read this and as we talk through it, there's a possibility when people tend to just sort of step away and they're not coming to the doctor. They might feel like you're controlling
29:58 and they might feel like you want to, you know, you wanna navigate all of the things. So let them have a voice in the family as well. And maybe they'll just
30:10 start pitching in as long as they feel like they have skin in the game too, and they're not just being bossed around by a sibling. It's a possibility. I don't know the situation. So Yeah. I was just throwing out
30:22 different types of scenarios, but just always come from a place where you're inviting the siblings to have an equal say in the care of mom and not you just saying, alright.
30:34 I need help and you guys need to help me. Because if if they haven't done it yet, that that might not be what they wanna do. But maybe they wanna contribute in a different way financially, being able
30:46 to, you know, something. So just be able let them tell you how they can help you.Show more
Comments No comments yet. Start the conversation.
Comments
Keep it kind. Comments are public.