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Since 2000 Every Man Ministries has been activating men worldwide to live out their truest identity in Christ through its discipleship resources, live events, and steaming platform.
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The Secret Life: A Call to Authenticity 0:01 Welcome to the men's global livestream. If you have a Bible, hold 2 spots for me. 1 in Matthew 23 and 1 in Matthew chapter 6. If you're joining us for the first time, we're in the middle of a series0:12 called The Secret Life. And the big idea is that every 1 of us has a secret life known only to God. And that life can be something you hide out of fear0:25 or you can pursue out of your faith. Those are your only 2 options. They're very different. They have very different outcomes. 1 life is invisible and hidden to men,0:37 and that life will be exposed and judged by God. The other is visible to God, listen, by intention, and God wants to reward and bless that0:49 secret life. So in part 1, we simply laid a foundation to get our thinking right about who God is and how that relates to our secret life. In part 2, we talked about1:01 Jesus's call to a secret life of generosity and giving that God sees and promises to reward. In part 3, we talked about Jesus's1:13 call to a private and personal and powerful prayer life that we do in secret before him alone, that he1:25 also promises to reward. And now in part 4, we're gonna continue to sort of pour this foundation of a biblical mindset and apply it toward Jesus's1:37 call to a secret life of fasting and spiritual disciplines. And what we want to do is we want to connect how spiritual disciplines are connected1:49 to relationship with God. And so to get you thinking in the right direction, I just wanted you to think about the process of getting to know someone. Now the first thing that happens is that there's an introduction.2:01 If you don't know people, then you're introduced to them. The second thing that happens is if there is an interest in relationship, what you do is you create a2:13 context or opportunities to deepen that relationship. It's usually an indirect activity to create a more direct connection. And then2:25 as time goes on, and you create these opportunities to connect, right, these contexts for you to grow in closeness, trust and reciprocity2:37 comes. And now the relationship is deepening, and here's what happens. Once that happens, you introduction, connection, planning of of2:49 times together, trust, reciprocity, something happens. Now you're motivated to stay close and grow closeness in that3:01 relationship. And so you actually actively and intentionally plan regular connections to grow the relationship. And what I want you to see in the process of relationship,3:13 it's that it's the hope of relational closeness that drives the disciplines of connection. And I think you can get a feel for where I'm headed3:24 because the same is true in your relationship with God. At some point, there was some kind of introduction. You crossed the line into relationship, and then there was some activities3:37 that related to your relationship with God. Maybe it was Bible study. Maybe it was prayer. Maybe it was going to church. Maybe it was a small group. And then as the relationship,3:48 grew with Jesus and trust and reciprocity and communication and closeness emerged, you got serious about, hey, I4:00 gotta spend time to get closer, and I'm gonna discipline myself toward my most important relationship. And so disciplines4:12 and relationship are connected to the hope of growing intimacy and closeness. That's what I want you to see. And what we're going to do, and I want you to take out your4:23 downloaded notes. If you haven't downloaded them, please download them, get them out because it helps you follow along. But the first thing we're going to do in today's notes is we're going to look at Jesus addressing a4:33 group of religious men who appear spiritually disciplined. In other words, their disciplines are supposed to get them closer to4:45 God, but you'll see through Jesus' words, there is a disconnect for him between their religious activities and disciplines and the inner4:56 reasons driving those activities. And then after we cover that, we're going to unpack Jesus describing how we connect our secret life of spiritual5:08 disciplines to relationship with him. But let's go to Matthew chapter 23 verses 25 to 28. Let's roll the film again. This is Jesus addressing a group5:20 of very religious men. Okay? Says this, woe to you, scribes and Pharisees. Hypocrites. For you clean the outside of the cup and5:32 dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self indulgence. You blind Pharisee. First, clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the5:44 outside of it may become clean also. Woe to you scribes and Pharisees. Hypocrites. For you are like whitewashed tombs, which on the outside appear5:56 beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones in all uncleanness. So you too outwardly appear righteous to6:08 men, but inwardly, you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness. Wow. Those are some very6:20 strong words to a group of religious men. And we need to just make some simple observations based on Jesus' words to these men.6:32 And the first observation that Jesus makes is this. Write it down. My image is perception. Okay? Jesus says to them, for you6:43 clean the outside of the cup and dish. Okay? So it looks really great, but is it really clean? The perception is6:55 from the outside that the inside is clean, but the perception is not what's your next fill in. Write this down. My character is reality. No. It's not clean.7:08 Okay? The inside of the cup is dirty. And the implication is no 1 should be drinking from that cup.7:20 Now, let's stop there for a second. Okay. So you have this outward appearance, this image of holiness, purity, closeness to7:32 God through religious disciplines. And Jesus is observing that outer part, so the outside of the cup and dish, and people go,7:44 based on appearance, perception, they go to these men who look great on the outside, but the reality is is that their inner person7:56 is full of robbery and self indulgence. So they're appearing on the outside religious. Inside, their motives are very self8:07 centered and selfish. And Jesus, by implication, is no 1 would ever drink from a cup if they looked8:19 inside of it and saw that the inside was full of scum and dirt and bacteria. I mean, you wouldn't. I wouldn't. Right? And so this is a really powerful language8:31 about the inner life and the heart. Okay? The third observation that we want to make, and I want you to write this down, after, my image is perception, my character is reality, is third, my image is8:43 orchestrated for men. How many guys in 30 years of men's ministry have I seen win the battle of images but lose the battle of the heart? And8:55 in losing the battle of the heart, losing relationships with people, losing jobs, because they had this outward perception. They had this image, right, that was9:07 orchestrated for men. Now here is where Jesus gets very kinetic. K. What I mean by that, these are not soft words. Right?9:18 He essentially is saying that you do these things so that you can appear righteous on the outside. Right? But you're using9:30 God. It's a charade. Woah. Okay? So my image is perception. My character is reality. My image is orchestrated for men, and9:44 the acid here in these words is, but you're using me to orchestrate your image for men. And then lastly, write this observation down. My character9:56 is assessed by God. God sees their motives. God exposes their motives. Jesus Christ is repulsed10:08 by these religious men using God's name for selfish benefits, selfish visibility, and self10:21 importance. Okay. I think you get the picture. He's seeing past their outsides. I mean, he he uses that second metaphor of white washed tombs. So back in the first century, they had10:33 these white limestone tombs. Right? And they looked great, and they would chisel names and inscriptions on the outside. They're still finding these archaeologically, today. They they still look great after thousands of10:44 years. Right? But what's on the inside? Right? Dead men's bones and all uncleanness. And then the headline is, you're just like those10:56 tombs that look great on the outside outwardly, but inwardly, hypocrisy and lawlessness. Okay? You can't get any more abiding. And11:07 Jesus' words to these religious men should be a shot across all of the bows of our lives. Right? It's a warning11:19 because you can act religious on the outside, but your insides, which is being assessed by God, we don't want any part of where these guys are. We don't want11:31 to, for lack of a better term, pimp God for selfish benefit. Okay? This is a repeated theme in scripture, by the way, in terms of and it's a warning11:43 in scripture. Like, what a man does, and what he says can be deceptive, especially in relationships. In Proverbs11:55 23 7, it says this, for as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, eat and drink, but his heart is not with you. This is from Proverbs 23, and it's12:07 talking about, you know, a stingy guy acting like he's generous. You know? And the key words here is, as he thinks within himself, so he is.12:19 So it's not the generous, hey, eat and drink and have as much as you want. The real person on the inside is going, I hope you don't drink a lot. I hope you don't eat a lot. That's the12:30 real person. It's not what he says on the outside versus what he's thinking on the inside. So the reason I had you circle, as he thinks within himself, that's your truest12:42 reality of who you are. I mean, we all know that people can be saying 1 thing and thinking another thing. You do it, I do it, we all do it. Right? That's who12:54 you really are. It's not your actions. Now, if your thinking and motives are consistent with your actions, k, that's a different story. But what we all13:06 need to hear in this is that it is a theme in scripture that God sees the hidden you. Alright? Which now we have to then, based on Jesus'13:18 conversation with these religious men, based on the clear emphasis of scripture. Alright. The outward man versus the inner man. Where should we be putting our energy?13:30 Alright. Let's read Proverbs 4 23. Alright. Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the13:41 springs of life. So you get the picture. Right? We live from the inside out. And as a headline, and we want to write this down, God's man13:53 focuses on the real work of the heart. Why? Because that's what God sees. God doesn't see perception. God doesn't see image.14:05 God doesn't see your orchestration of your behaviors for men. He's assessing your heart, and that's where he wants to do the work. So that's why scripture14:17 says you got to watch over your heart. Why? Because that's what God sees. Right? Now, when you think about your heart's biblically, it's not a muscle that beats. That's physiologically. Biblically,14:29 your heart is your inner man, your inner thoughts, your inner will, you know, your inner thinking,14:41 Right? Your inner affections. The real you. Okay? So God's man focuses on the real work of the heart. Right? Which is unseen. That's the hidden14:52 you. So I just that's more foundation for us to to turn to scripture and go, okay, what do I need to work on? Behavior15:04 management? Or do I need to work on my insides, my heart, my soul, my thinking? Because those are the things that God is15:16 truly assessing. You know, people think just I digress for 1 second. People think, okay, if I go to church, if I attend Bible study, if I read my Bible, if I pray, if15:28 I okay. Those are all great spiritual disciplines, but that's not what God is assessing. These guys had more spiritual disciplines than we'll ever have. They had hundreds of15:40 spiritual discipline. What was God looking at? God was looking at their motives for doing those things, and he was looking at their heart. Okay.15:51 So let's now move, turn the page, and let's look at Jesus's call to a secret life of fasting and spiritual disciplines from Matthew chapter 6. SoSpiritual Disciplines: Integrity and Motivation 16:03 we're just moving along in Matthew chapter 6 verses 16 to 18. We'll put it up on the screen. Jesus says this, whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face16:16 as the hypocrites do, for they neglect their appearance so that they will be noticed by men when they are fasting. Truly, I say to you, they have their reward in16:27 full. But you, when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face so that your fasting will not be noticed by men, but by your16:39 Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. So we've had this language with16:51 respect to prayer and giving, and now we have this language with respect to fasting. And I'm going to connect17:03 to fasting all spiritual disciplines. Okay? Because prayer, giving, fasting, these are spiritual disciplines. And now what we want to do is we want to get a handle, not just on17:15 fasting. And I'm not gonna do, if you were hoping for, a short course on fasting. That'll be for another study. But what I wanna do is I want you to see the call to a17:26 secret life of fasting and spiritual disciplines, and let's unpack, phrase by phrase, what they are and what they're not. Okay? And the17:38 first thing that we see in this passage and these words of Jesus is spiritual disciplines are a want to, not a have to. Right? You notice17:50 when Jesus says, whenever you fast, do not put on a gloomy face. And he is sort of outing these religious men18:02 whom he he labels, but as if they're acting as if their relationship with God is agony. Right?18:14 So they they would walk around. They they purposely, you know, they would fast twice a week. These Pharisees, they would fast twice a week, and they would walk around so that people could see18:26 them in agony as if being in agony is what relationship with God It's like, well, who who who who wants that relationship?18:39 If that's what relationship with God is like, okay, and you're suffering all the time and you're in agony, your relationship with God is synonymous with agony, suffering, sunken eyeballs,18:52 and a gloomy face, no thank you. But this applies to us Christians, and it's the mentality that, you know, if we just19:04 suffer a lot, that somehow makes us more spiritual, which is totally in opposition to what scripture teaches in terms of19:16 our relationship with God and how that transforms us. Okay? So you have to kind of go, okay, let's look at the secret life of someone who does it right. And someone19:28 who does it right is the Apostle Paul. The Apostle Paul lived a very disciplined faith life. But I want you to listen to Galatians 2 20, but listen for his motivation and his driver.19:40 Okay? Paul says in Galatians 2 20, I've been crucified with Christ, and it's no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me, and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by faith19:52 in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. So Paul also engages in a20:04 spiritual life that involves discipline. When he says, I've been crucified with Christ, it means Jesus dies for sin, I discipline myself to20:16 die to sin. Okay? He lives by faith in the Son of God. And here's the key line, and I want you to circle it. Who loved me and gave himself20:28 up for me. So Paul's driver is not, Oh, my goodness. I have to do this. Paul's driver is, I wanna do this because20:40 he gave his life for me. How can I say thank you? Okay. Very different driver. Right? Jesus' relational sacrifice for20:52 me inspires me, motivates me, drives me to want to discipline my life for this21:04 relationship. See the difference? Alright. So we see in scripture, there is a right motivation, and it's relational, and it's driven by Jesus'21:16 sacrifice for you. And because of Jesus' sacrifice for you, we discipline ourselves in our commitment to him. That's our motivation. You don't have to look far for motivation21:28 to to have a secret life of spiritual discipline, of fasting, of prayer, of generosity, of service. It's a thank you. My my spiritual disciplines are kind of like,21:40 you know, Jesus, you did that for me. You said no to yourself to say yes to the cross and to relationship with me. I'm gonna do the same. I'm gonna say no to myself or no to other things so that I can say yes to21:51 relationship with you and growing closer, to you. Jesus not only talks about, you know, our hidden motives, our secret motives, but he also22:03 talks about, you know, what happens, what our disposition is when we when we do spiritual disciplines. Listen to what he says in John 16 24. He says, until now, you have asked for22:15 nothing in my name. Ask and you will receive so that your joy may be made full. Do you see the expectation there? I22:27 mean, asking for things in Jesus' name. That's prayer. Okay. It's a spiritual discipline. It's not fasting in this case, but Jesus is talking about, hey, for up to now, I'm here.22:39 You you haven't really asked me in prayer because I'm here. But in John 16, this is right before Jesus goes for to the cross. And so, you know, Jesus is gonna be with them. He's gonna be in22:51 them, and they need to be able to ask for things in his physical absence, but in his spiritual presence because his spirit is going to dwell within them. So he's saying tap into that,23:03 tap into prayer. Okay? Why? So that your joy may be made full. Okay, that's different than putting on a gloomy face. Okay?23:15 So I want you to see very clearly that when we do spiritual disciplines, there's joy, there's expectation, there's motivation, and23:27 it's all on the positive side. All right? It's rightly motivated, not gloomy. Okay? Secondly, what we what we see in23:38 Jesus' dialogue as he goes on is that spiritual disciplines bring integrity, not hypocrisy. Right? So Jesus says, whenever you fast, don't put23:50 on a gloomy face. He continues, as the hypocrites do. Okay. Let's break down that word. Okay. The word hypocrite comes from the Greek word for actor.24:03 And when we go back and we read Matthew 23 or we read Matthew 6, you can see what Jesus is saying. Alright? You're pretending to be24:14 something, but you're really another thing. Alright? You're acting. Okay? And that's what he's calling out. The synonym for hypocrite is a fake24:27 or a fraud. Okay? It's an act. Right? And so Jesus is calling out the fakes, the hypocrites, the actors. They24:38 don't have integrity. They're pretending to be 1 thing, but they are divided between what they're doing and who they really are.24:50 Integrity is the exact opposite. Integrity is to be undivided between who you are and what you are actually doing. Now that25:02 that is key here. We're not supposed to pray and talk to God and worship and get close to God,25:14 fast and hear from God and have spiritual breakthrough, be silent with God, do Sabbath with God, experience solitude with God.25:26 And and that The outcome of that brings hypocrisy in our actions that we pretend to do these disciplines, but we act like somebody else. I want you to see Jesus25:39 model integrity and how those around them defined it. Mark 12 14 says this, they came to him and said, teacher, we know that you're a25:50 man of integrity. Look at how they define it. You aren't swayed by others because you pay no attention to who they are, but you teach the way of God in accordance26:02 with the truth. So by contrast in front of people with the actors, these people who are describing26:14 who they believe him to be, they could see his motivation. And it wasn't to play to people. They said, you're not swayed by other26:26 people. Your audience is not people. Right? You don't even pay attention. Doesn't matter if a person is rich or poor, powerful, not powerful. You're not playing to people. You're not pleasing26:38 people. Right? But you teach the way of God in accordance, listen, to the truth. Alright? As opposed to the actors26:50 who are deceiving, they're hypocrites, they're divided between what they're doing and who they really are. Jesus is teaching27:02 the way of God in accordance with the truth. There's no mixed motives. There's no deception. There's no division between what he does spiritually, outwardly,27:14 and who he is inwardly. He is in the truth. He's undivided between what he's doing and who he really27:26 is. So spiritual disciplines bring integrity, not hypocrisy. Number 3. Spiritual disciplines lead to self respect,27:38 not self neglect. Okay. This is really important. Alright. So Jesus is saying, you know, don't put on a gloomy face. Right? Like the hypocrites27:49 do, for they neglect, circle that word, neglect their appearance. Okay? So it's like, yeah, I have a relationship with God and I do these activities, and28:01 these activities cause me to suffer and neglect myself. What? How does that work? How does it not lead to28:13 dignity in my identity like the Bible teaches? That I'm a creation of God, that I'm God's handiwork. It talks about this in28:25 Ephesians 2 10. I really want you to see this because self perception and identity go right together, how you look at yourself. Right? And if I see myself the way28:37 God sees me, I'm not gonna neglect myself. Look at what it says in Ephesians 2. It says, For we are God's handiwork. Your Bible might say workmanship. Created in Christ Jesus to do good28:48 works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. So you and I, man, you're a work of God. Okay, let the paint dry29:00 on that just for a second. All right? You are a work of God, the creator of the universe, the creator of sunsets, the creator of29:12 galaxies, the creator of our solar system, the creator of everything beautiful. He's your creator and you are above These created29:24 things you're you're you're the highest form of Creation the Bible says above the angels Okay? Does that does that connect to,29:38 now I should think about myself differently and neglect who I am? No. I'm a creation of God. That creates immediate dignity and self respect. You're an image bearer.29:50 Right? That's why we give dignity to all people immediately. Why? Because they're image bearers. They're creators of God. They're created by God. And so when you see yourself30:02 that way, that I'm an image bearer made in the image of God, that gives you immediate value and worth. When you have value and worth, that impacts your energy and self perception, which leads to an expression30:13 that reflects the fact that you know that you're created by God. You're created to work with God. He created you to fulfill this purpose, and30:25 it's good. You're partnering with God himself, and he created you and created these works in advance of you even being born. He had a plan, he made you, and now you're30:37 walking into his plan to fulfill the intention for which you were created. Now, does that jive with self neglect30:49 and a low view of self? I don't think so. I think it does connect to dignity. It connects to self respect, and that self respect isn't31:01 Fake it's genuine because that dignity and self respect comes from being in the image being created in the image of God So, you know what the31:13 devil's number 1 strategy is? Get you not to believe that so that you believe about yourself what your traumas have messaged, what your wounds31:25 have messaged, what your dad messaged to you negatively, what your abuser messaged to you. Things happen to you. This is the beautiful thing about God is31:37 that he can take the years and experiences that locusts ate, particularly eating away at your self perception. And then he can take that. He can heal you from that31:48 and he can now start telling you who you really are. Where you stop believing the lies rooted in in wounds and trauma32:00 and other voices besides his. What's happened to you? Things that people said to you? Sins that people have committed against you that created this lie that32:12 you believed so that you think you're less than who you really are. And I need to say this to some of you guys out there. Right? Stop it. You the truest thing about32:24 you is what God himself says is true about you. You are a child of the living God. You're the beloved son of a perfect father. And even as I'm saying it to32:36 you right now, I'm saying it to myself. Because when you live in that identity, it changes your self perception and the energy with which you live, and it leads to a, an expressionShow more In this video 0:01 The Secret Life: A Call to Authenticity15:56 Spiritual Disciplines: Integrity and Motivation32:46 The Power of God's Love and Acceptance50:53 Refreshing the Soul: The Role of Spiritual Disciplines
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