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October 14, 2022 · 30 min · Say What?
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Dr. Tony Evans is the founder and senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, founder and president of The Urban Alternative and author of over 100 books, booklets and Bible studies.
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The Power of Words: Gossip and Slander 0:00 A woman went to the doctor 1 day because she was very sick and she'd been bitten by an animal. The doctor looked at where she0:12 was bitten and did all the tests, And it came out that she had rabies, and it was at an advanced stage.0:25 The doctor said, it doesn't look good. She said, doctor, then may I have a piece of paper? The doctor brought in a piece of paper, and she started writing down names.0:39 The doctor said to her, are you writing down the names of the people you want to put in your will? She said, no. I'm writing down the names of the people I wanna bite.0:52 Because 1 of the ways that you demonstrate how sick you are is with your mouth, with my mouth, and how our words and our1:04 speech damages others. We've all been hurt by something said, done,1:17 by words that affected us negatively, emotionally. Not only have we received damage, but we've probably done our share as well. There's a reason for1:29 that. But I wanted to talk to you today about symptoms of of unholy speech. What how do1:40 you know if your talk is, not what it ought to be? A couple of key factors in terms of its effect on other people.1:53 And you'll recognize these. We'll look at 3 of them because we've all done all 3. But I want you to understand why these 3 are so critical in terms2:08 of guarding our mouth, taming our tongue so that we, use our mouths the way God wants them to be used and grow in this area as well.2:20 In Proverbs chapter 20, Proverbs chapter 20 verse 19, it says, he who goes2:32 about as a slanderer reveals secrets. Therefore, do not associate with a gossip. In this 1 verse, we're2:44 introduced to 2 speech problems that we affect others with and that others affect us with, and that is gossip and slander.2:56 Gossip and slander. A gossip is 1 who sends secrets, who passes on information,3:11 who betrays the confidence like Proverbs chapter 11 verse 13. It says, he who goes about as a tale bearer reveals3:23 secrets, a gossip. And he who is trustworthy conceals a matter. So picture this now. Somebody comes to you and says, now I wanna tell you3:35 something. But you can't you can't tell anybody else. Okay? And you say, okay. Now they've3:47 already let you know this is a secret. But when you hear it, it's so good,3:59 so juicy that you just can't keep it to yourself. You are a gossip if you are a revealer4:11 of secrets. Now I will qualify that in a moment, but he talks about the tale bearer being a revealer of secrets and not a trustworthy person4:24 because you told that person that you would honor the privacy of this discussion. And your passing it on was done without their approval,4:37 which means you could not be trusted because you are a tale bearer. In Proverbs chapter 18 verse 8, the words of a4:49 whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. This is a whisperer. This is5:00 somebody who say, guess what I just heard? You know, guess what I just heard? They they whisper it. So they're passing on a secret. So since it's a secret, they think talking softly5:15 to somebody else keeps it a secret even though it was passed on. He says gossip is like a dainty morsel.5:28 Ever been to a dessert bar? Nothing but dessert, and all of it's sweet. It's sweet to the taste, and and so you wanna get all these5:40 different you want a smorgasbord of sweetness. It's it's dainty. Them them nice little tiny dainty pieces or a juicy steak because gossip is always5:52 juicy. You know, it's always got some some juice in it. And so he says because it is juicy. The problem, he says, is it goes down6:03 to the innermost parts of the body. That is to be a gossiper is revealing your own contamination. To be a gossiper reveals your own contamination.6:16 Paul ran into a big problem in the church at Corinth. You don't have to turn there, but in second Corinthians chapter 12 verse 20, he says, I'm just depressed that6:28 when I come there and I come to the church Corinth Bible Fellowship that I'm a hear a whole lot of gossip. He was concerned that this was a6:40 gossiping church. And, of course, church is where you can find you some gossip now. He says in chapter 166:51 chapter 16 verse 28. A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. Have you ever seen7:03 gossip do that? Separate people, cause you to be mad at somebody because somebody told you something that somebody told them. Somebody said a rumor7:15 that goes in 1 ear comes out of a whole lot of mouths. And then what we do to legitimize gossip7:28 is include prayer. Let look. I got something I want you to pray about.7:40 Now what's interesting is you're telling somebody to pray about something you have not yet prayed about yourself. Be7:52 careful to include God in the sins of your mouth because once you bring in prayer, you're including God. And you're passing8:03 on information for the joy of sharing it to people who can do nothing about it except8:15 pass it on themselves. A gossip does not want to help or heal. They want to enjoy the information.8:29 If there is not tied to the dissemination of information, specific designs to help fix a problem,8:42 but merely to enjoy the rumor of the issue, then that is a sinful use of the tongue. And that's why he says so much about it.8:54 Many say, I promise not to say anything unless it is good, and boy, is this good. It reminds me of the story of9:06 the 4 preachers. The 4 preachers had gone on a little retreat, and they decided to have a confession time. They wanted to just talk about their own struggles,9:18 their own sins, and and get clean and clear before the Lord. And so the first preacher said, well well, I'll start. You know? I've got a struggle with gambling. I'm9:30 Winstar. I I got a struggle with gambling. I gamble online, and I I need you guys to pray for me. It's okay. We we're gonna we're gonna pray for you.9:42 Second guy says, I got trouble with anger. I I I can't control my temper. I'm howling at my wife. I'm howling at my kids. I'm mad all the time. I need you guys to9:54 pray for me. I said, okay. We'll we'll we'll pray for you. The other guy says, you know, I got a female problem. I got a female problem. I'm, struggle10:06 with pornography some, you know, and and and I I need help. Pray for me. Said, we'll pray for you. The fourth guy didn't say anything. He said, well,10:18 it's your turn. He says, no. He said, yeah. It's your turn. No. You don't want me to share. Yeah. We want you to share. You really want me to share?10:30 Yes. We all shared. It's your turn. Okay. Well, I got a problem with gossip, and I can't wait to get out of here.10:43 Because I'm a tell everything I just heard up in here. So you gotta watch who you talk to10:56 because you want to communicate to trustworthy people who are not out to hurt but to help. And that's why passing on11:08 information to people about people who you yourself are unwilling to talk to yourself speaks of a motivation11:20 that is wrong. So some of this is motivation because sometimes you're not in a position to help. You're not in a position to fix it. But when you just11:32 pass on information to pass on information for the pleasure of passing on information, that makes you an untrustworthy gossip.11:44 And the problem with gossip is like throwing up feathers. Once the wind catches it, it's hard to pull it back.11:56 Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 pieces of silver. He wanted he wanted the personal enjoyment of betraying a friend.12:10 The bible says 1 of the reasons people gossip in first Timothy chapter 5 verse 13 is that they are idle. Paul12:22 tells pastor Timothy, watch out for idle people because they don't have nothing to do but talk about everybody else. They're not they don't have enough busyness going on in their own lives12:33 to occupy them. So the telephone has become their friend, and they wanna talk about everybody else. And you have to understand, when you entertain a gossiper,12:47 then you have joined forces with them in the gossip. Well, all I did was listen. Yeah. You enjoyed the dessert too even if they chewed on it first.13:02 So over and over again, the word gossip. In Romans 1, the word gossip is put next to the sin of homosexuality.13:17 Now we we would say about the sin of homosexuality. Oh. But being a gossip, Well, you know, everybody does that. It's in other words,13:30 God doesn't do in fact, let me turn to Romans 1 before we go to the next 1 here. Let me turn to Romans 1. Because in Romans chapter 1, he talked13:41 about the unnatural use of men with men and women with women in verses 26 and 27. Then he says in 28, and just as they did not see fit to acknowledge god any longer, God gave them over to13:53 a depraved mind to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil, full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice. They14:05 are gossips. But wait a minute. Notice, he didn't just include gossips in the list. He said all these other things are true14:17 because they are gossips. So he says, if gossip is how you roll, he says, that's because you have a depraved mind. You're full of unrighteousness. You're full of wickedness. You're full of greed. You're14:29 full of envy. You're full of murder. You're full of strife. You're full of deceit because you're a gossip. So gossip have a whole bunch of stuff wrong with them, not just gossiping.14:42 And then it comes right to our next 1, the next word, slanderers. Slanderer is gossip's twin. That's why they're linked together. To14:54 slander is to speak evil of another in order to defame them, to defame their person, to defame their reputation. In other words, it's15:06 speaking evil to hurt. Gossip is spreading information that was supposed to be secret. A slanderer doesn't have to15:17 whisper because he may or she may not be trying to keep a secret. In fact, she or he may want to tell you how they think and do not care how loud it is15:29 because they want to hurt you. They don't wanna help you. They don't wanna improve you. They don't wanna benefit you. They don't wanna correct you. They want to hurt you.15:42 It talks it means to talk about others with the intent of damaging them. Their name, their reputation, their character, whether or not it is15:54 true. Here's the deal. Even if it's true, what is my motivation? We're in a political season, and in political16:06 season, folk looking for stuff on other folk. Why? So they can put it in the media. Why? So they can damage their reputation. Why? So that that person can lose and I can win.16:19 So they're looking to damage. They're they're studying for the purpose of damaging. How can I hurt you? It may be16:30 true, but you what you are saying may be true. But the question is, are you slandering with the truth? It's it's not just is it true, it is am16:42 I hurting you? Now let me tell you why this is serious. Psalm 15. Psalm chapter 15. Oh, lord, who may abide16:54 in your tent? Fellowship with you, who may dwell on your holy hill? He who walks with integrity and works righteousness and speaks truth17:06 in his heart, he does not slander with his tongue,17:19 qualified to worship me if you're a slanderer. When you show up to worship me, I'm checking out your tongue.17:31 That goes back to James. He says, you bless God, but then you curse people made in the image of God. In other words, you're trying to hurt,17:43 not to help. And so slandering is a serious thing. How serious? First Corinthians 5 11 says, don't associate with17:55 slanderers. Proverbs chapter 10 verse 18 says, a slanderer is a fool. Slanderers18:07 have a basic motivation. They're insecure people who seek to raise their own status by demeaning somebody else. In other words,18:18 if I can push you down, I can lift me up. So in order for me to feel better about me, I have to lower how I think and how others think about you18:30 so I can raise me up to feel better and make other people think I am better than the person I'm putting down. The bible talks about such a person in third John.18:42 The atrophies, it says, he loved to have preeminence, top billing, among the brethren, and so he made it hard for everybody else. In other words, to keep himself18:54 high, he kept others low. A slanderer. Now okay. Let me clarify something. When he says a slanderer, he's talking about this is19:06 how you roll. He's not talking about an occasional slip. He's talking about this is how you can be identified. You are a gossip because that's what you do. You are19:18 a slanderer because that's what you do. That's how you roll. That's how you operate. See, once you know the19:30 truth that promotion comes from God, Psalm 75 verses 6 and 7 or Isaiah 14 verse 27, then you don't have to reduce19:41 others to lift yourself because if you're in fellowship with God, nobody can have what God has planned for you. See? So you don't have to force other people down to lift yourself up. That's the sign of19:53 immaturity because you don't believe God is big enough to give you yours. As 1 friend used to say, you never lose a race just because another horse runs.20:06 That doesn't make you a loser, but there's so much. I know many of you in corporate America. In corporate America, you, you know, you're in that dog eat20:18 dog thing, and people are putting down folks to get ahead and and, passing passing on rumors for folks, all to slander them so the promotion may more likely come your way.20:31 But the beautiful thing about God is he can overrule bosses and supervisors and managers. James 4 6 condemns20:44 defaming your brother. In fact watch this. In fact, let me show you James 5. And he says,20:57 verse 19, my brethren, if any among you strays from the truth, so somebody's gone the wrong way, and 1 turns him back, let him know that he who turns a sinner from the air21:09 of his ways will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins. I wanna talk about that word cover.21:21 God does never wants us to excuse sin. He never wants us to pretend sin isn't sinful. But what he does say is that our responsibility21:33 in the family of God when somebody is going left away from God is to turn them back, and our God is to to turn them in the right direction.21:48 Why? So that we cover them from worse things, a what he calls a multitude. So he's turning, hitting the wrong direction. Things are only gonna get worse. Let's21:59 catch it before he goes further. And that reminds us of a story in the bible. The story in the bible is the 3 sons of Noah,22:12 Ham, Shem, and Japheth in Genesis 9. Ham, Shem, and Japheth. It says their father was laying in his nakedness uncovered.22:25 And he is he was sitting there, dry laying there drunk and inappropriate. Doesn't go into details, but there was something morally inappropriate.22:38 And Ham came in and saw it. And Ham went out from seeing his father's nakedness22:49 and slandered his father to his brothers. His brothers came in back in and covered, our23:01 word in James, covered their father's nakedness. Ham slandered his father's nakedness.23:13 God came down and said, Ham, because you have done this. Now I know this Ham thing has been misused and abused, and that's a whole another story. But he says, because you have done23:25 this, because you've shamed your father, Canaan your son is cursed. All of Ham's children weren't cursed. Canaan, your son is cursed.23:37 We're gonna pass down another father son shaming because you've done this. It didn't justify whatever the situation was with Noah, but what it was saying23:49 was, you did not handle this right. You you slandered your dad. And that was an insult to almighty God.24:00 And for that, there is a curse. It's amazing how we slander each other even in our relationship. Like, the husband and wife, we're driving down the road24:12 and husband, he mad at her. She mad at him, and he sees some mules on the side of the road. He said, hey. She said, what? You see those mules?24:24 Yeah. There goes some of your relatives. She said, yeah. I know about marriage.24:42 Winston Churchill and lady Astor Astor in the British parliament, they couldn't stand each other. Lady Astor looked at Winston Churchill and said, Winston, if you were my husband,24:55 I'd put arsenic in your tea. Wednesday said, lady Astor, if you were my wife, I'd drink it. True story. On another25:07 occasion, Winston Churchill came in drunk. He came in drunk. You know, he's stammering in the parliament. Lady else said, Winston, you25:19 old deadbeat drunk. Winston looked at the lady asked him and said, and lady asked him, you're ugly, but at least I'll be sober tomorrow.25:35 I'll wait. I'll wait. The final thing I wanna deal with briefly is tied to these 2 bearing false witness.25:48 In other words, slandering, you're trying to hurt, but you may be telling the truth with the pain you're inflicting. It it may be true.26:01 But bearing false witness is a lie. I have made up this information to hurt you. Whereas, slandering could be totally true your motive was bad.26:15 But bearing false witness is a lie. Some say lying is an26:26 abomination. Others say, but it's a very present help in the time of trouble. Bearing false witness is intentionally26:38 seeking to deceive to another's detriment. It is to take a situation and to26:50 spit it in such a way that false data is given, and a lie can get legs quickly27:02 and take flight. Sometimes it's giving the impression. It's like the story of the the fisherman.27:15 He went out to catch some fish, and he didn't catch a thing. He got there all day, and the fisherman did. He didn't catch a thing. And he promised he was gonna bring home some fish. He that he knew he's gonna catch him27:25 some fish. So after being out there all day, he didn't catch anything. He went to the grocery store, and he said, look. I want 20 of the biggest fish you have. He said, okay. Well, let27:37 me pack them up. He said, no. Don't pack them up. I'm a back up. Throw them to me. Because when I catch them, I can tell folk I caught 20 fish.27:51 No. It's it's kinda turning it to make a point. I'll tell you 1 of the main28:03 ways we we do false witnessing is we encroach it in a joke. I'm just kidding. Well, let's see what God has to say about that. Proverbs28:15 26. Proverbs 26 verses 18 and 19. Like a28:27 madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death, So is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, were they not joking?28:42 Using a joke to deceive, encouching it in humor to trick, an unholy speech. 1, gossip,28:54 passing on rumor, slander, defaming another, whether true or false, false witness intending to tell a known truth in order to hurt.29:06 When that characterizes you or me or us, then we break fellowship with God, and we aren't able to come into his holy temple.29:20 May we be an environment that helps, not hurts, that wants to heal, not name. Without compromising the truth, when we speak it,29:32 may it be so that people are built up, not torn down. I want you to do me a favor when you go home for a little exercise. Only take you a29:43 minute. Well, actually, it could take you hours. Because all I want you to do is take your tube of toothpaste and squeeze them out,29:56 and then I want you to put it back.In this video 0:00 The Power of Words: Gossip and Slander
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