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November 8, 2026 · 29 min · Pray TV
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Jim Graff is a respected pastor, leader, and author who loves helping people fulfill their unique
potential while finding their significance in Jesus Christ.
277K followers
The Danger of Following Jesus at a Distance 0:00 This program is made possible through the generous support of friends and partners of a significant life.0:25 All of us have had somebody say to us, hey, it's my way or the highway, right? And usually we don't like that because, you know, often it's a leader who he's concerned that the chaos and0:37 the division is gonna affect his his family or affect affect his organization. So he decides he's going to exercise strong leadership to stop that division. But we all can really0:49 understand it too, because we've all been like the person who's been frustrated. And we've said, you know what, I could handle my anger better if other people could handle their immaturity better,1:00 right? And today we're gonna learn that it is a battle, but it's worth it because what we can experience whenever we commit to unity is something every single person's heart was created1:12 for. We're gonna study a fourth story from the life of Peter, which if you've been a part of the series, you know we've studied a different story from Peter's life in each part of the message. And in my1:24 Bible, the story is subtitled Peter disowns Jesus. And it starts in the garden of Gethsemane, and we're told that they came and seized Jesus and they led him away and they took him into the1:36 house of the high priest. And we're told that Peter was following at a distance. Now this is really sobering to me that somebody who could make the difference and fulfill the destiny1:48 Jesus had for his life like Peter did, was following Jesus at a distance in this critical hour. And I think the first thing we can learn is that, you know, when we disown Jesus,1:59 often it starts because we follow him at a distance. Maybe we're going through a hard time. Maybe somebody said something we don't like. And instead of responding the best way we could, we2:11 decide we're gonna do do things the way we just feel like doing them right now. And then the next part tells us that some there had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard, and they'd2:23 sat down together. And it says, Peter sat down with them. Now this is where it can get really dangerous because when we're hurt and when we start following God at a distance, if we're not careful, we're2:35 gonna start hanging out with the wrong people. We're gonna start talking to people who feed our bitterness, feed our disappointment, who make us be unkind towards other people who've hurt us. And2:47 Peter to his credit, even though he was following Jesus at a distance, and even though he started hanging out with some of the wrong people, and even though he disowned Jesus, we're gonna find2:59 out why he ended up okay in the end. But first let's read the story. It says that as he was sitting there, a servant girl saw him seated there in the firelight. And she looked closely at3:10 him and said, this man was with him, but Peter denied it. Woman, I don't know, he said, I don't know him. And then a little later, someone else saw him and said, you are also one3:22 of them. Man, I'm not, Peter replied. And about an hour later, another asserted, certainly this fellow was with him for he's a Galilean. And then Peter replied, man, I3:34 don't know what you're talking about. And we're told that just as Peter denied or disowned Jesus for the third time, a rooster began to crow. And Peter remembered the words3:46 that the Lord Jesus has spoken to him, that before the rooster crows, you're gonna disown me three times. And he went out and he started to weep bitterly. Now in this message, we're gonna3:58 learn what can cause us not to weep bitterly because of how our life went down the right path, but how we can weep tears of joy over how we're blessed because we kept each other4:10 on the right path. And I wanna start with something that the rooster symbolizes in scripture, and the rooster symbolizes our repentance that leads us to4:22 be restored and blessed by the grace of God. When does a rooster crow? Whenever it just starts to be daylight, right? I'm the grandson of a farmer and I worked on this farm4:34 many days as a teenager, And I never needed an alarm clock whenever I went to to work for my grandpa because a rooster they called Rusty would begin doing his thing when... At the4:45 break of daylight, and this red headed boy would get all the sleepiness out of his eyes, and I would know it was time to get to work. Now you know what? As a believer, I wanna encourage you today4:57 that things might be really, really dark in your life. But the Bible says that the path of the righteous is like the first gleaming of dawn that gets brighter and brighter till the full5:09 light of day. You know what God's saying? If you'll just respond to that little bit of light that I'm putting on the inside of your heart, and you'll let me give you more and more light, you're gonna be amazed how great5:21 my blessing is that I bring into your life. Can you say amen? That's what this story tells us through the rooster that Peter, even though he did a very embarrassing thing and disowned the5:33 Lord, because he responds to the light of Jesus, he ends up fulfilling what God had in his heart and having God bless his life in a great way. So let's make sure we see5:45 clearly this morning the obstacles to keep us from experiencing God's best. Number one, if we follow Jesus at a distance, we're gonna be in a day... In danger of missing out on God's best in5:57 our life. Number two, if we fellowship with the wrong people, surveys have been done, that seldom do we rise higher or sink lower than the people that we're in closest fellowship within6:09 our lives. So if people are nice to you, but they're not nice and redemptive to others, you gotta be careful because one day there's a good chance they're gonna treat you exactly the same way. And this6:20 morning, I brought a picture with me that shows you what God wants from us. This is a Jewish wedding. And years ago, after Tamara and I got married, I was the mission pastor at at Oral Roberts6:32 University, and they gave me a free trip anywhere in the world, two of them for for giving them so much business. And so Tamara and I decided to go to Israel, and Tamara went to the bathroom. And when she came out, I was6:44 doing the line dance with all the Jewish people. She didn't she didn't know what happened to her husband. But then they did something else, and that is they would lift the bride and the groom up in the chair. Now let me6:56 tell you what this symbolizes. This symbolizes in their tradition that these two were called of God to have God bless them together in an incredible way. And the people holding them7:07 up and keeping them high, it symbolizes the fact that they're called to support this young couple so God can do everything that God wants to do in their life. Now I promise7:19 you, if this was my wedding, I would make sure those people holding up my wife's seat were really strong, right? And if you were raised in my family, I'd make sure they were sober too whenever they were holding7:31 her up in that seat. And we need the right people to hold us up and to help us in life. That's why in a Christian wedding, we have groomsmen and we have, bridesmaids who are7:43 really to fulfill that same purpose, that we take our vows in the sight of almighty God, and we know that it's through honoring God and through being supported by the right people in life7:55 that God begins to bring his richest blessing into our life. So this morning, this is what our master text for the series has talked to us about. I wanna go through it one more time8:06 slowly because it's our last message in the series. And first, I want us to remember the plea that that Paul gives us in Ephesians four one. He says, as a prisoner for the Lord, then I urge you to8:18 live a life that's worthy of the calling that you've received. Now there's something hidden but important in Paul's writings. And that is in the Greek language it was written in the8:30 word you both times is used is put in plural tense. So if I was reading this in the Texas version of the Bible, I would read it this way. As a prisoner for the Lord, then I8:42 urge y'all to live a life worthy of the calling y'all have received. In other words, it's not talking about our individual call, but it's talking about the fact that for us to enter into our8:54 calling that God has for our life and for us to live the best life that God can bring forth for us, we have to begin mastering what it means to live our faith together. And then after giving us the9:05 plea, Paul gives us the prescription for living these kind of bonded lives. And he says, we have to be completely humble and gentle and patient. And then today, we're gonna talk9:17 about how we have to bear with each other in love. So this morning, we're gonna understand how to practice forbearance that helps us to overcome our flaws. And I wanna say, first of all, that for some ofThe Call to Live Worthy of Our Calling Together 9:29 us, we need to hear this for ourselves before we hear it for other people who are in our world. Because we have a tendency that when we mess up, we give up. And somebody needs to tell us,9:41 God doesn't see any failures. God only sees learners. Can you say amen? And when we understand God's love, what happens is we start becoming somebody we never dreamed we could be, and then9:53 that helps us to be loving towards others and to help them become things that they could never be without our love. Listen to what first Corinthians thirteen, seven and eight says about this.10:05 It tells us that God's kind of love bears all things. And because it bears all things, it believes all things, and it hopes all things and it endures with people through all things10:17 and then notice it's because of that kind of love that things don't fail. In other words, if I fail to love, what's gonna happen is people around me are gonna fail to get free of that addiction.10:29 If I fail to love, people around me are gonna fail to reach that dream. If I fail to love, people around me are gonna get frustrated and they're gonna quit and we're gonna get divided.10:41 But if I learn to love, God begins to make amazing blessings to every... Happen for everybody who's in my circle in life. So how do we live forbearing? Well, number one,10:53 forbearance withholds judgment about people in the midst of their flaws. You notice, I love this, that when Peter disowned Jesus, the Bible says, Jesus turned and looked right at11:05 Peter. He didn't look away from him, but a really good friend is always going to be there whenever everybody else is walking out in your life. I love the words of11:16 Benjamin Franklin, one of our founders. He said, The false friends are like, he said, They're like a shadow. He said, listen, false friends are never there unless the sun is shining in11:28 your life, but real friends are gonna turn to you whenever you're going through trouble in your life. Listen to what Paul said about this in Colossians three twelve. He said, therefore,11:40 as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved. Now let's stop right there that if we are God's, then we should be learning to live a lifestyle where we're trying to be holy. But while we're11:52 trying, we're fully loved and we know God's for us. And then he says, I want you to clothe yourselves. Now my guess this morning is that when you got up, you didn't just walk in your closet and all12:04 your clothes came on you, right? But you had to make a choice that you were gonna clothe yourself. For some of you, I'm glad your wife dressed you this morning because you look better than if you just clothed yourself.12:17 But the Bible says that God wants us to clothe ourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience, and he wants us to bear with each other. Now, where have we12:28 heard those words in the exact same words in the exact same order that God wants us to be humble, gentle, patient, and to bear with each other. Well, these are the same words in the12:40 same order that we heard in Ephesians chapter four. Right? So how do we be more humble when we're not considering other people's perspectives well? How do we be more gentle when we're not considering12:52 other people's interests well? How do we be more patient as God's developing people? And how do we bear with people whenever, you know, they've created a mess and it's making our life miserable? Well,13:04 start in... At the beginning, we've gotta clothe ourself with the love and the compassion of Jesus. And then it says that if we do this, it says, we're gonna start forgiving other people. And if they have...13:16 If we have a grievance against somebody, we're gonna forgive them as the Lord has forgiven us. Now listen, this morning, I know that this room is filled with fix it people just like your pastor.13:28 And what that means is I love fixing things so they come out better down the road, right? And so I know what your mind's thinking right now. You're thinking, pastor, are you telling me I gotta put up with people even13:40 though they're gonna stay just the way that they are no matter what I do. And I want you to know sometimes it's gonna feel that way, but that isn't what God is really asking you to do in13:51 life. And I know that from a story in Matthew seventeen, where Jesus teaches us how he practiced forbearance. And in this story, there was a man who had a14:03 suicidal son who would throw himself in the fire and nearly die because of it. And this desperate father brought this son to the disciples of Jesus. And we're14:15 told that he said to Jesus, man, I brought my son to your disciples, but they couldn't heal him. And Jesus looked at the disciples and listen to what he said. He said, You unbelieving14:27 and perverse generation, how long shall I stay with you? And how long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me. Now those words put up with are the are the exact same Greek14:39 word that's translated bear in Ephesians chapter four and in Colossians chapter three. And you notice that Jesus didn't put up in a way that allowed the problem to continue. First of all,14:51 he called his disciples unbelieving. He said, you know what? I want you to have stronger faith because if you have stronger faith, God can heal the marriage. If you have stronger faith, you can overcome the15:02 addiction. If you have stronger faith, you can reach the dream. I don't want you to think you can never get people free of demons. I want you to know you can lay your hands on sick people and you can drive the15:14 devil out of your home and your town. Right? Jesus didn't just put up with it, but he talked to them about their faith. Then he said, you're perverse. And that doesn't sound like a good word, but15:26 all Jesus was really saying was you're going about this the wrong way, and I need your faith to get stronger, and I need your wisdom to grow, so God can do everything that God wants to do in your15:38 life. And then Jesus got... Set the boy free, and he was set free of that suicidal spirit, and he continued to develop his disciples. And he developed them15:50 until he knew when he went to heaven that they were gonna make it because they knew how to honor God's presence in their heart. So here's my first application point. Let's develop the habit of being persuasive, not16:02 abrasive whenever people disappoint us. Let's make a decision that when they don't meet our expectations or even if they're not giving us our best, we're always gonna be persuasive16:14 people. We're never gonna be abrasive people. Here's the second thing we can learn about practicing forbearance that helps other... Others overcome their flaws, and that is forbearance helps others16:26 face and overcome flaws. And Paul wrote something so plainly and pointedly in Romans chapter two. He's talking to Christians who aren't relating to people the way that we16:37 should. And he says, do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?16:49 The definition of contempt is a feeling that a person or thing is worthless or beneath us, and we don't feel like we should give him respect. And here's what Paul's saying, he's saying, do you not realize17:01 that if you show a lot of rage, if you're angry with people, if you don't bear with people, you're actually hindering the repentance process and the redemption process. You're not helping17:13 God lead people into a lifestyle where they make better decisions and have better consequences. Now I'm gonna tell you a bad story on myself this morning only because I couldn't think of one in Tamara's17:25 life to tell you. Alright? And in this story, we had just built this new sanctuary and Jeffrey was about three years old, and the local American Family Association chapter asked me17:37 to speak at their banquet. So I said yes, and Tamara and I decided that since we were speaking at the American Association, Family Association banquet, we tried to be the allForbearance Withholds Judgment in the Midst of Flaws 17:48 American family. And we went home to eat dinner with our kids before we were gonna eat at the banquet. And in those days, you'd wear a sports coat whenever you spoke in an event like that. So I18:00 had my sports coat on. And Jeffrey was always a kid who talked with his hands and was real outgoing. And Emily said something that made him laugh. And sure enough, he did18:12 this and his drink spilled all over my sports coat. And I said, Jeffrey, in a tone that I've learned invites demons. How many of you know that tone? And I'll never forget18:24 Jeffrey just began to pucker. He didn't wanna show his weakness, but he couldn't hold it back and he just began to cry in front of all of us. And my Catholic training kicked in.18:36 I looked at Jeffrey and I said, son have mercy. And then I looked at Tamara and I said, wife have mercy. And I looked at the other siblings and I said, siblings have mercy. And you know why we18:48 made it where we are as a family day y'all, we aren't perfect people, but I'm telling you this, you're not perfect, I'm not perfect, but you have the same God that I have and he knows how to get us through18:59 messes into beautiful places. Can you say amen? But we have to learn to practice the bond of peace, and that means that we have to be careful that we're forbearing when people mess19:11 up, and we withhold judgment when people are in flaws. We turn our hearts to them. We don't turn our hearts away from them because they've made a mess. We have to learn to help19:23 people face things and overcome things like Jesus did Peter. Then here's the final thing, forbearance inspires faith that people's flaws can be fixed and their future can be blessed. Here's19:35 my application point. When others need our mercy the most, let's decide to live dying to help them like Jesus did. I wanna read another scripture in Romans chapter three. It says this, that God19:47 presented Jesus as a sacrifice of atonement. Now that word atonement means just what it looks like. It's at one ment. That Jesus died so you and I could live at one with God.19:59 He knew we'd never be perfect, but the blood of Jesus was shed because Jesus is dying for us to learn what the love of God can mean in our life. And then it says that Jesus did20:11 this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance, he had left sins committed beforehand unpunished. What's this tell us that Jesus' passion isn't20:22 really as much our perfection because when I die, I'm not gonna be as perfect as Jesus was. I'm just a person. But his passion was for us to learn to live at one with God and to learn20:34 to live loved by God so God could bring forth potential we'd never realize in our homes, in our marriages, in our families, if we didn't learn how to be loved by Jesus. And I wanna20:46 close this series with first a story from scripture and then an object lesson. And the story is the story where, you know, when we read the first one, we heard that when the rooster crowed,20:58 Jesus remembered something that Peter remembered something Jesus said. And so I wanna go back to the story where Jesus said what he said to Peter, and I want you21:10 to notice something. I want you to notice how tender Jesus was before he talked to Peter about the tough things he was gonna go through. This story is in Luke twenty two and it says21:22 that Jesus looked at his disciples during the last supper. Remember, they were all gonna desert him in the Garden of Gethsemane, not too far down the road. And Jesus looked at him and he said, I confer on you a21:34 kingdom just as my father conferred one on me. So you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel. Do you see how tender Jesus21:46 was? Do you see how visionary he was? He was saying, hey guys, we spent three years together and I want you to know I'm looking forward to being in heaven with you. I'm looking forward to spending an eternity,21:58 with you guys down the road. And I just wanna say, before we try to make people better, we need to make sure that people know how much we love them. Can you say amen? Then Jesus said to Peter, he22:10 said, Simon, Simon, Satan has has asked to sift all of you as wheat. You know, I've read the Bible over forty times, and I'd never noticed before that Jesus said, Satan wasn't just22:22 trying to sift you, Peter. He was trying to sift the whole team. And sure enough, all of them deserted Jesus whenever he died. But then Jesus said to Peter, but I prayed for you that22:34 your faith may not fail. And when you've turned back, strengthen your brothers. You notice Jesus didn't pray for Peter's perfection, he prayed for his faith, that he'd never22:46 quit believing in who God said that he could become. And then he prayed that Peter would become a person who looked at other people and never quit believing in what God could do in other people's22:57 lives as well. And then when Jesus looked at Peter with eyes of faith, instead of turning away or running with the wrong crowd, how many of you know Peter23:09 made a decision? I'm gonna do what Jesus said. I'm gonna keep this band together. We're gonna be everything that God said we can be. How many of you know this morning, you're sitting in a23:21 church that doesn't see through peop... What sees people through? We stick together. We're not intimidated by messes. We're inspired by what God can make happen. So let me close this morning with my object23:33 lesson. And, underneath this beautiful box, I have two coffee cups and they read, me me, the world's best me me. So who do these23:45 coffee cups represent? Can we all point at her right now if we know who these coffee cups... You see, my wife, if you're gonna consider her perspectives, and if you're gonna care about23:57 her desires, and if you're going to be with her, coffee is gonna be in the middle of it every single time. I promise you. And I can tell you I've broken this girl's heart a number of times,24:08 because all of you have broken people's hearts sometime too. We're just not perfect people. And when that happens, I can try to put things back together a number of ways. I put24:20 super... I put Elmer's glue on this cup this morning. And you know what? When I was in the first service, this broke off because Elmer's glue won't put things back24:32 together. But in this cup, the handle was broken, but I did it with super glue. Everybody say super glue. Super glue. And you know what? Super glueForbearance Inspires Faith for a Blessed Future 24:43 not only fixed what was broken, it made it better than ever. Come on somebody, that's good news, right? What I wanna say in closing is don't let the brokenness24:55 win. Don't let imperfection win. Don't let frustration win. Follow Paul's plea and say, you know what? This is gonna be a home that's bonded together.25:08 Follow his prescription. You need to write ingredients. You need humility. You need gentleness. You need patience. We need forbearance for God to fix things. But how many of y'all are ready to make every effort so you25:20 can create some great memories and make it into blessings only God could bring us into in the days ahead? Amen?25:31 Thank you for being with us today on a significant life. Jim, this has been such a helpful series on how to bond relationally so our lives are made richer, safer, and stronger. We've all heard the phrase we're better25:42 together, but sometimes that's pretty tough to do.25:45 It can be really tough to do, and that's why the apostle Paul urged us to make every effort to live in unity with the Holy Spirit and at peace with each other. That's why he taught us the four skills that he25:57 did that can really make us successful. So let me encourage you with the holidays approaching, practice them, and what's god's worth prove his worth to you.26:12 I was born in the valley, West Licko, Texas. You know, there's a lot of crime. There's people going in and out of the country, bringing things in and out. So my dad was very wrapped up in that26:24 lifestyle. He got mixed up with the with the wrong people. They came and picked him up one time, and and I can remember my mom crying, crying at the door, not knowing if he was coming back.26:36 We ended up moving to Oklahoma, and I I can remember things were good for a few years from like probably six to twelve years old. When I got to high school, I started hanging26:48 out with a group of guys who sold drugs at the school. And in my early twenties, man, I was I was a full blown drug addict. And I just remember crying to God, just saying, God, just give me aMake Every Effort to Keep the Bond of Peace 27:00 home. God, I'm tired. You know, where I was led was my my church home from from Tulsa. There was a church that I would go to as a kid. I signed27:12 up for the internship program there, and I got an opportunity to begin serving with the kids, especially with with J High, because it put me back in that position. It put me back in that place of, like, remembering27:24 me at that age. I always tell people, be what you needed at that age. And looking back at what I went through, you know, in my teenage years and being able to speak life over teenagers is... It's been such a27:36 blessing and it's been so fulfilling. It's been an answered prayer to be at faith. Everyone I've met, you know, I'm super blessed because to have church family here, people that welcome me like I'm family,27:47 and, you know, I'm just honored to get to be a part of a body of believers that just love God and they love people. If you feel unqualified, if you feel unworthy, just know that, you27:59 know, that's all of us, and God's not done with you. And the work that he began in you, whether it was a dream when you were a kid or a calling or a gifting, something that he's put in you, know that he's gonna be28:08 faithful to complete that.28:15 Want more from A Significant Life? Visit us online at a significant life dot com and follow us on all our social media channels. There, you'll find weekly programs, archive messages, and exclusive features, inspiring28:26 hope and significance wherever you are.In this video 0:00 The Danger of Following Jesus at a Distance9:20 The Call to Live Worthy of Our Calling Together17:40 Forbearance Withholds Judgment in the Midst of Flaws24:40 Forbearance Inspires Faith for a Blessed Future27:00 Make Every Effort to Keep the Bond of PeaceComments No comments yet. Start the conversation.
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