Skip to content Overcoming People Strongholds Oct 14 · 38 min ...more
October 14, 2022 · 38 min · Overcoming
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Dr. Tony Evans is the founder and senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, founder and president of The Urban Alternative and author of over 100 books, booklets and Bible studies.
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0:00 In Galatians 1 verse 10, Paul says about these well meaning bible quote and toting folk who are ripping the saints away from grace.0:13 For am I now seeking the favor of men or of God? Or am I striving to please men, people?0:25 If I were trying to please men, I would not be a bond servant of Christ. I hope you hear what he's saying. He is saying, it is0:36 possible in your life to be more people oriented than God oriented. Paul says it the same way elsewhere.0:48 He says in first Thessalonians 1 11 that our primary goal is not to please people, but to please God. The author of Proverbs says it another1:00 way. In Proverbs 29 25, he says, the fear of men is a snare, a trap. But he who trusts the Lord, well, that 11:12 will be delivered. There was a man 1 day, he was sitting on a bank, kind of just meditating, and he heard somebody screaming,1:24 help, help from the river. He was an excellent swimmer. He saw the man drowning. He dove in. He got the man, brought him to shore. As soon as he got to shore, he heard it again. Help, help. There was1:36 another man drowning over there. He jumped in. He swam, brought him to shore. That's when he brought him to shore. Help, help. There's another man over there. He swam out, grabbed him, brought him to shore. Help, help.1:46 This went on and on. 5 and 6 and 7 people he brought to shore, he was totally exhausted trying to bring folk to shore. He had1:58 no energy left. And yet, there were still people out there saying, help, help. And he couldn't help him anymore. He was this2:10 get up and go, had gotten up and gone. He looked up to heaven and said, oh, please show me what's happening2:21 upstream. We try to deliver people without ever finding out what's going on upstream. What's going on back there that you can't see2:33 that's causing them to cry for help right now? Something's going on upstream. And you can't help everybody. So let's find out what's upstream.2:46 Because maybe that'll give us peace downstream. Upstream, this really starts as children upstream.2:58 Because God births children into families where they are to find love, acceptance, value.3:11 That's what families are supposed to do. They are the first line of defense for the well-being of life. And children let you know real early3:22 upstream when they're not getting the deal they think they deserve. They'll show off, so you pay them attention. They'll throw3:34 a temper tantrum, so they get some value and somebody paying them attention.3:46 As they get into the teenage years, if there is a vacuum in the family, they'll seek to fulfill it in peers, their friends.3:58 When children are overly ignored or ridiculed or even indulged, they will get a warped sense of their own value. You see a4:10 child who gets everything they want? I'll show you a child who establishes value by what they get and what they don't get as they grow4:21 older. If it will give them a sense of significance. If somebody's piping into their ear, you're special, you're nice, you are somebody,4:33 you're great, then they will hang out with that group so they can hear it more. And often become dependent upon it, frustrated4:45 when they're not with the group because they're not hearing it enough. When people's love tank runs low, and they are driven by a need for4:56 acceptance, they will do what it takes to fill it. When they feel rejected by somebody, they will go to somebody else5:08 for acceptance. You see, Satan uses our legitimate need for acceptance in an illegitimate way5:21 to produce codependency so that we walk around with fake IDs. We even come to church with our fake IDs,5:33 our fake ID smiles, our fake ID Christian Verbalese, even our fake ID bibles. Our fake5:45 ID praise the lords. Our fake ID, how you doing today, brother? I'm great. Isn't God good? And if they can't find5:57 the right group, if they can't find the right person or people who they can depend on, who they can either use and control or be controlled by,6:10 If they can't find that, then what they will do is ID themselves. They will become self absorbed. It's like the man and the6:21 donkey the man a man on the donkey, the old man and the young boy were taking a donkey. So the young man and the old man and the boy were walking the donkey, and somebody saw him and said, look at6:33 that. Look at that waist. The old man and the boy are walking with the donkey and not using the donkey for what the donkey was created for. Old man6:45 thought to himself, well, you got a point there. So the old man got up on the donkey, rode the donkey, while the young boy led the donkey. Somebody else said, look at that.6:57 That old man making that boy walk while he ride the donkey. Old man said, made a point there. So they switched. A young boy got7:09 up on the donkey. Old man was leading him. They came by, somebody said, look at that. That boy making that old man walk while he rides and he's young and strong.7:23 And he said, well, got a point there. Next person that saw him, the donkey was riding the old man's back.7:37 You try to please everybody, you go stalk raven mad. But some folk who are in the stronghold everybody tries to please people from time to time, but the stronghold is being caught.7:50 You're caught. Somebody says something to you that's a little off, you can't sleep at night. Unless you're around people, and they are pumping8:01 you and making you feel good at night, you feel bad about yourself. People go through great extremes to please people. They will pay out a lot of8:13 money to get a compliment. They will become a groupie around the stars to get an autograph. They wanna be able to say, yeah, I8:25 know him. They ain't meet him but for 30 seconds, but I know him. That's about me being somebody because I I know them. 18:37 out of every 3 women in this country are abused physically or verbally or emotionally over a long period of time. That produces a scar in their soul.8:51 So many of them will overcompensate with dress so that somebody will say something good. Somebody will compliment them. Somebody will recognize9:03 them. You see, at the heart of people dependency is a passion to please men. Even good,9:16 purposeful people who use the Bible like these Judaizers. The only problem with living to please people and being caught by it, I'm not talking about the normal pleasing people, I'm not talking about9:28 being polite, I'm not talking about that which is normal, I'm talking about where you are caught. That's a stronghold. You're locked in, stuck, either in trying to please9:40 everybody or being controlled by people so that you will be liked and accepted. And isn't that what we want9:52 our children about? Come on, if you're be part of this group, you gotta drink. If you're gonna be part of this group, you gotta you gotta smoke weed. If you gotta be part of this group, you gotta do this, you gotta do10:03 that in order to be accepted. Well, the cause10:14 is a warped view of God and a warped view of people, if you have a people strong. And some of you, it can't be helped. There was such10:26 neglect. There was such loss growing up that you don't know how to be any other way. It's it's it's how it was. There was no daddy around. You don't know what it is to have10:38 a man hug you in a proper way and love you and kiss you and tell you you're valuable. That boy doesn't know what it's like to have a father who gives him acceptance, and so the gang leader is the10:50 best person he can come up with. That child doesn't have didn't have a mother who accepted them and cuddled them and and nurtured them, and and so you just grew up like this.11:04 Addicted. Stronghold. And then you get the folk who have it so bad, they'll commit criminal behavior to keep it.11:21 These are the people who do crime so that the television camera will show up, and they get their 15 minutes of fame. This is Herod11:33 in Acts chapter 12 who said, he killed James and was about to kill Peter because he saw it pleased the Jews. This is Herod,11:45 Who when he heard the roar of the crowd, crucify him, crucify him, had to give in to the people. He was under strong.11:57 All of us have felt this. Which group do you please? It's an addiction when you are living that way. What's the problem here?12:09 That leads to the second point. I have 3 things I want to say. The second thing is the criteria of people's strongholds. You see, at the core of this is a criteria12:21 issue. If you're going to whip this, if indeed this is your stronghold and different folks have different strongholds, I12:33 want to show you a verse in first John chapter 5 verse 9. The first half of the verse. And here it is.12:46 If we receive the witness of men, what men think, what men say, the witness of God is greater.12:59 Let me repeat that. If we receive the witness of men, I think this, and I think you ought to do this, and I think you ought to go there, and I think I think think I I think. If you receive the13:11 witness of men, if you do what people tell you, want you, beg you, influence you, and control you to do, God wants you to know 1 thing. The13:22 witness of God is greater. You will only begin to overcome people's strongholds when you shift your criteria.13:35 When you decide that I will hear what people say, think, tell me to do, want me to do, try to control me to do what I try to control them to do.13:47 However, the witness of God is greater. In other words, if what God says contradicts13:59 what folk want, I'm sticking with God even if I have to lose friends. Yeah. Because what I just said is a simple thing to say. It's hard to do when folks stand up in your face,14:11 sitting in your office, and you might lose something that you've been counting on to give you significance if you say no. 1 of the great people14:23 pleases of the Bible was Saul. In first Samuel chapter 15, Saul was told by God through14:35 the prophet Samuel to get rid of all the Amaleks because they were gonna be a nemesis to the people of God.14:47 He didn't do it. Samuel confronts him and says, how come I'm hearing the bleeding of the sheep? What are these oxen? I told God told14:58 you to get rid of all this stuff. Verse 17. And Samuel said, is it not true, though you were little in your own eyes, you were made the head15:10 of the tribes of Israel and the Lord anointed you king over Israel? Verse 24. Then Saul said to Samuel, I have sinned. I have indeed transgressed the15:22 command of the Lord and your words because I feared the people and listened to their voice. People got them in trouble with God.15:35 Do you have folk in your life who are getting you in trouble with God? Are there people in your life who have such control over you, they may not even be alive15:47 anymore and still running your life? It may be an abusive daddy who abused you and every time you wake up, he's still abusing15:59 you because he's still running your life. He's still making you miserable and he's in the grave. That mother that told you were no good16:11 and you were nothing and you were never gonna be anybody and you're still addicted to mama and mama may live in another city, mama may not even be alive anymore, But every day you wake up, mama told me16:22 I'm nobody. I must not be anybody. That's a people addiction. It's a people stronghold.16:35 You don't have to turn there, but I like Jesus in Matthew 16. He comes to his disciples. He says, who do men say that I am? Tell me, guys, what do people say about me?16:48 Well, they said, oh, they say a lot of stuff. Some say you're Elijah. Some say you're John the Baptist. Some say you're Jeremiah. Some say you're 1 of the prophets. There's a there's a lot of buzz out there, Jesus.16:59 Different views. Then Jesus changed the question. He says, now who do you say that I am? Peter spoke up and said, well, well, I know who you are. You are17:11 the Christ, the son of the living God. Jesus said to Peter, flesh and blood did not reveal this to you but my father who is in heaven because you're right. The folk are wrong.17:26 Now, what's interesting about that is that all that the people said was nice. They didn't say you're the devil. They didn't say you're no good. You say, well, you're John the Baptist. You can really preach.17:40 You're Elijah. You can really prophesy. You can really do miracles. You're 1 of the prophets. You're a great man. Jesus said, wrong. Nice, but wrong.17:51 Folks will lie to you to get you over on their side. Folks will compliment you to pull you over to their side.18:03 What Jesus said to Peter is heaven's viewpoint is the only 1 that counts. You don't have to be mean. You don't have to get an attitude.18:16 It's just heaven's viewpoint, when it contradicts earth's viewpoint, rules. When18:28 Peter stopped eating with the Gentiles and Paul saw him, because Peter was controlled by the circumcision. His other Jewish buddies who asked him,18:40 how come you are eating with the Jews? And that's another stronghold I'm a deal with, racial strongholds. Where your race tells you how to act18:52 toward other races, and they hold you hostage to being black. I thought you were black. Because if you were really black I19:04 mean, if you were black on the inside, if you really had soul, then you wouldn't like country and western music. You19:16 wouldn't hang out over there. You wouldn't do this. And there are a lot of black people who are controlled by black people in order to make them think you black.19:29 That's a people stronghold. Or white or Hispanic or any other race. It is being controlled by the group even though it contradicts the will of God. And Paul showed up, and Paul said,19:40 Peter, I don't care who told you to do this, you are wrong because you're not acting in concert with the truth of the gospel. In other words,19:52 God has already spoken on this matter. And when God speaks on a matter, I don't care who shows up. I don't care what the popular view is. If20:05 your mama told you you were nobody, she didn't know what she was talking about. If your daddy told you, you're never going to be anything, he was uninformed. The problem is20:17 he got you when you were young, so you bought it. And you have been unable to shake it. Let me tell on the Evans fam a little bit here.20:30 As the church began to grow and get bigger and bigger, people started whispering to my wife and I, well, you know now, you're a big pastor now. You ain't a little pastor.20:44 You need a big house. So and so has a big house. Your house needs to reflect20:56 your status. You need to adjust. So I went house hunting. They were starting to pump me. I started feeling good. Yeah. You're a big pastor now.21:08 You ain't no small church. Big church means big house. So I'm getting all this. I'm getting it from preachers. I'm getting it from members.21:20 I'm getting it from well meaning. No problem. So we went outside. I'm telling on21:32 me. I'm going tell the truth, shame the devil. After about a month of this, my wife and I went home. And we looked at each other and said, what are we doing? What21:44 in the world are we doing? We are happy. We are content. We live close to our flock. Our kids are gone.22:00 Praise him. Why are we doing this? And after discussion, we thought, the only reason22:12 we are doing this is because people have told us we should do this. Anything wrong with getting a new house? No. Anything wrong with getting a bigger house?22:23 Absolutely not. But there's everything wrong with it if the reason you're doing it is to please people. Because none of the folk who told me to move,22:35 I forgot to pay a note. Now, if22:47 we decide, you know what? We've been living here for 20 years, Let's get a different location. Let's get more space for entertaining. And we decide, Lord, is this how you wanna use our resources? And the Lord says, yes,22:58 then move. But don't let folk move you to a house you can't afford, put you in a car that you can't make the payments on, buy clothes that you don't23:10 look good in so that they can compliment you.23:26 Driving down the street in a car you can't afford talking about I'm looking good.23:39 So that raises 1 other question. How do you get out of it? You have gotta start with a new criteria. God rules, not people. Well, first thing we have to do is stop treating the symptoms and23:51 start treating the problem. If you have a child and your child has a fever, putting ice on his head is nice, but that's only a symptom. That's not a problem. There's an infection you need to get24:03 to. Now, the first person you've got to help is you. Don't look at your mate and say, I'm going24:15 free you. You know what the airplane does? When the oxygen mask fall, before you help your children, put it over your own face.24:27 Why? Because if you give it to them first, you'll pass out while they're breathing. You need to put it over your face so that you have enough to help somebody else. And24:39 if you are as messed up as I am, don't help me. Where's the cure?24:51 It is very simple. It's so simple you can miss it if you're addicted to a situation or you have to25:03 feel like you're controlling people in order to feel you're significant and powerful and whatever. It is the series. It is your identity in Christ.25:15 You see, you only are addicted to people because you still haven't gotten to who you are yet. Because you've been believing a lie. You've been believing the lies told you, so it's confused your identity.25:29 Romans 15 7 says, you are, watch this, accepted in Christ. Ephesians 1 says,25:41 you are accepted in the beloved, that is in Christ. Or let me put it another way. You are fighting for what you already have.25:55 God says, your worth is awesome. He says in Psalm 1 39, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. He says in Romans 8 31,26:07 if God before you, who can be against you? When God says you are somebody, when God says you are accepted, you mean to tell me you're gonna lose it26:19 because your neighbor doesn't like the clothes you have on? It's an issue of faith in the identity God26:30 gives you over the fleeting identity people give you. Because you know, folk will change on you. You say, well, wait a minute. Wait a Hold it. And I hear you, preacher. I hear you,26:42 pastor. You're talking a good game. But but how do I know I can relax in god's acceptance of me? Well, 1, because it's based on grace, you don't26:54 have to earn it. You ever notice how hard it is working for people like you? That's a tiring thing. You're talking about a tiring thing. Gotta work all day so your boss likes27:06 you. You gotta work all day so your co works can can get along with you. Gotta work all day for your family to accept you. You just gotta work and work and work and work and God shows up and says, you are accepted. No27:18 work required. That's why we have trouble with it. It's too easy. It's too this has got to be too easy. Everybody else is telling me work. That's law. God27:30 is saying, accept it, no work required. That's grace. And we're not used to grace. That's why we have a hard time accepting this.27:43 Let me see if I can help you accept it just a little bit better. You know who you are the most valuable to? Let me tell you who you are the most valuable to. You27:54 are the most valuable to the 1 who sacrifices the greatest for your well-being. Anybody know where I'm going with that? If you wanna measure28:06 who loves you most, a simple that's a simple answer to that question. Who sacrificed most? Who has put up most for you? The28:21 price paid determines the value. And I'm here to tell you, nobody but nobody but nobody has paid the price for you28:32 like God when he opened up his wallet and pulled out Jesus Christ. Anybody died for you lately? Anybody took your even the people who complain28:44 against you don't offer to take your pain. They don't offer to take your punishment. Even if they're nice folk, all they can say is, I wish I could do it. God took it,28:56 and he was slain. Remember the movie Ransom with Mel Gibson? Mel Gibson's son was kidnapped. Remember?29:08 Mel Gibson's son was kidnapped. Guess what the kidnappers didn't do? They did not go to other folk for the ransom. They didn't go to the guys who worked for him. They didn't go to29:20 his neighbors. They went to the father because only the father would be guaranteed to pick up the tab because that's his baby boy. If29:37 you want significance, it has to come from the father. He picks up the tab. You say, but wait a minute. I don't feel this. I I hear29:48 you. I don't feel it though. I don't feel significant. I don't feel valued. I don't feel. I don't feel. I don't feel. I hear you, but I don't feel.30:01 You ever had a police car pull up behind you with lights flaring? You know what that does to your feelings? Car pull up.30:19 Oh, shoot. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Do you know how it feels when he then pulls outside of you and pulls in front of you going after somebody else?30:32 Anybody praying with me? He pulls up behind you.30:51 Watch it. When you get the facts, it takes a while for your feelings to catch up. But if you keep reviewing the31:03 facts today when I get up, I am accepted. I don't have to earn it, and anything I get from anybody is a bonus, and I just wanna thank you today that you told me by faith, I accept. I31:15 am accepted by you. And I don't have to perform. You do that long enough, your feelings will catch up.31:29 You say, but what about the people who are still messing with me? They ain't going away just because you're talking this God stuff. You do what Jesus did. Nobody31:40 has ever been more rejected than him. And guess what 1 Peter 2 23 says? It says that while suffering the abuse of people watch this Jesus31:52 offered no threats. He didn't say, you ain't going to do that to me. What goes around comes around, I'm gonna get you back, you dirty dog. None of that. You know what he did? He was so32:04 secure in his acceptance by God that first Peter 2 23 says, he offered no threats, but kept trusting himself to the 1 who judges rightly. His view of God was so32:15 awesome that he believed he could stand on the grace and grace would come it. He would stand standing on the grace. Living on the grace, folks, is like living under waterfalls. You just stand there and the32:27 stuff just gushes. But look, here's what we do. We're under waterfall. We take out an umbrella. We divert that. We don't wanna get wet. You do wanna get wet with grace. Because when you are wet with when you32:39 are dripping grace, when you are dripping your identity in Jesus Christ, then you know all the threats are just that, threats.32:51 This frees me up as a pastor. It frees me up it frees me up to love you as a congregation, to listen to you because God may be speaking through you, but to not feel bad33:04 if I have to go another direction because I'm here to please God, not men. There are33:15 4000 different viewpoints in this building between the 2 services. Everybody's got a view. Nothing wrong with that. But33:27 Jesus has already died for you once. Ain't need no need for me dying too. And by the way,33:38 folks, nobody can make you feel inferior without your cooperation. You must accept their viewpoint in order to feel their viewpoint. Let me close with 133:50 other thing. You are not only to receive grace, you are to give it. Now, you do have to start with yourself. But we34:02 are also dispensers of grace. Because guess what? Just as God has to work with you, he's got to work with your neighbor. Just as he's got to work with you, he's got to work with your mate.34:16 Because if you can't give it, why should you get it? We are also dispensers of grace. And that's what the church is, it's the grace34:27 dispensary. They didn't get accepted at home. Bring them to the church house. We'll accept them. We won't accept everything they do if it's wrong, but we will value them.34:39 The church has to be the family some folk never had. That's what they did in slavery. A little barefoot boy come in the church34:51 without shoes, they look at him and say, you got shoes. I got shoes. All God's children got shoes. What they were saying was, here, you have what the world around you won't give35:03 you. If you need grace, you got to show it. Because you don't know what everybody else has been through. You don't justify35:14 actions, wrong actions, but you you you have to think grace. That's why the bible says encourage 1 another. Grace to35:26 forgive. You say, but I can't forget what they did to me. You don't have to forget in order to forgive. Forgiving is not forgetting. God never forgets anything. He just doesn't bring it up every35:38 time you show up. Forgiving is simply letting folk off the hook. As you learn to live under grace, it'll take a little time, but you'll be like Jesus and the blind man35:50 in John 8. He puts something over the man's eyes, the man says, I see men walking like trees. Sometimes, you won't see them right at first. But then Jesus touched them the second36:02 time, and he said, oh, now I see them as men. Folk will look like trees for a while, obstacles in your way with branches that cut you. If you keep looking through the36:14 eyes of Jesus, you'll see it differently. 1 of the wonderful things about the good news of salvation is that no matter how deep you've gotten in36:26 sin, Jesus' salvation offer is deeper. You can't out sin Jesus' perfection. The Bible says, He who knew no36:38 sin became sin for us that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. So, no matter how far you've gone, how deep you've gone, how long you've gone36:49 into evil, unrighteousness, paganism, rejection, and the worst of the worst, God's grace is enough to meet you in that dark37:01 place, forgive you of your sin, and give you a brand new life starting right now. Jesus offers it, but you must receive it. So, will you come to37:13 Him now and acknowledge that you are a sinner and that you know you can't save yourself, but since He died to save you for all of your sin, you receive Him as your37:25 Savior. You receive the forgiveness He offers. You receive the eternal life that He gives. And then thank Him for it, that He gave you such a free gift no matter how37:36 dark your sin has been.
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