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Why you need more speak more and less
July 21, 2023 · 49 min
Pastor Mark preaches on the spiritual disciplines of silence and speaking, preaching that there is a time for both in each of our lives (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7)
Series Mark Driscoll Audio July 21, 2023 · 49 min · Mark Driscoll Audio
Pastor Mark preaches on the spiritual disciplines of silence and speaking, preaching that there is a time for both in each of our lives (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7) ...more Show the full description Show less Pastor Mark preaches on the spiritual disciplines of silence and speaking, preaching that there is a time for both in each of our lives (Ecclesiastes 3:1,7)
Series Mark Driscoll Audio
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With Pastor Mark, it’s all about Jesus! He is a spiritual leader, prolific author, and compelling speaker, but at his core, he is a family man. Mark and his
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0:00 Well, howdy. It's Ashley Chase here, the executive director of Real Faith Ministries, which I get to run with my parents, pastor Mark and Grace. If you want to be the first to receive exclusive content and updates from0:10 Real Faith and my parents' bible teaching, you can text REAL to 99383. You'll get ebooks, sermons, videos, and more sent straight to your phone every week to keep you from sliding into0:22 heresy and apostasy. You're welcome. That's REAL to 99383. And if you're strengthened, encouraged, and built up by my parents' teaching, consider partnering with us at real faith dot com. Every dollar you give reaches0:33 100 people with the gospel. And as our thanks to you, we'll send you an ebook of Pastor Mark's systematic theology, which is called Doctrine. It's all about Jesus. It's an incredible resource, whether you just met Jesus0:43 or you've known for a long time, and we hope it answers some of your questions. Again, just give a gift at real faith dot com, and we'll send you a copy.0:49 Alright. Best night of the week. Best guys in the world. Welcome to real men. Pastor Mark here. This week is a little bit different. I'm prerecording, and I'll tell you why. And if you think about it, be in prayer. We've1:01 got some pastors in from all over the country in partnership with our friends at XO Marriage. They they published the real romance book from Grace and I. They put out our weekly, real marriage1:13 podcast. And pastors are struggling. Most reports say that between 38 to 50 percent of pastors, depending upon what survey you believe, are really discouraged looking at1:25 quitting and leaving ministry altogether. And so we're bringing pastors in from around the country for a private, retreat. They're bringing their wives here to Scottsdale, Arizona. And, pastor Jimmy1:36 Evans, 1 of, my overseers and pastors, is teaching. And Grace and I are there this week with those pastors hosting them in our great hometown of Scottsdale. And a lot of these are pastors of1:48 large churches and or pastors with whole networks. And so these are pastors that are pastoring pastors. We love pastors, their families, their marriages, their churches, their networks, their denominations, and their2:00 ministries. So we're there serving, connecting, trying to bless, and encourage. So I'm sad not to be with you live. But I'm with you in spirit. And we're gonna continue in our series, spiritual disciplines for regular2:11 guys. And if you missed the first week, the big idea is, as men, we pour out all the time. Just think of your life. It's an outpouring of time and energy and money and encouragement2:23 and service and sacrifice. And unless someone pours into you, eventually, you're just going to burn out, and you're gonna break down, and you're gonna run out of the ability to do the things2:34 that God has called you to do and to lead and to love the people that God has given you to love and to lead. So the big idea is that the spiritual disciplines are how God the father pours into us as his sons, so that2:46 then we can pour out as men into the lives that he's called us to. And so this week, we'll deal with silence, which is how God pours into us, and speaking, and that is how we pour out to others.2:58 And, as we get into silence and speaking, we live in this really unique time in the history of the world. This is the most difficult time in world history to actually3:10 get alone and to practice some silence. If you think about it, there was a day before electricity, which seems hard to even conceive of. But the sun would go down, guys would leave work3:21 and go home. They would head into their house, they'd stoke a fire, they'd light a candle, eat dinner, spend some time with family, and go to bed. And it was quiet. Men tended to live on acres, so you had land and3:33 no neighbors. Conversely, today, you're at work all day. It's just noise. There's no there's no silence. There's no solitude. You jump in your car. Well, there are3:45 speakers and a screen. Constantly in our pocket is a speaker and screen. You are in traffic. It's a bunch of people hitting their horns and making noise. You get home. Maybe you live in an3:57 apartment. Maybe you live in a condo or a townhome or a dormitory. There's people all around you. It's total constant noise. Even if you live in a house, the neighbors are just literally sometimes an4:09 arm's reach away, and you could hear everything that they are doing in their dog that is barking. You go into your home. How many screens do you have in your home? How many, speakers do you have in your home? How much4:20 technology is there? How much constant noise and interaction is there? And if that's not enough, you could just take your, headphones, your earbuds, you can plug them into your ears, you can go4:32 into a parallel universe, and it is now possible to live your entire life with ever without ever experiencing really any extended period of silence. And, and the result4:44 is mental health, brokenness, depression, anxiety. None of the indicators for how people are doing as our world gets busier and louder indicates that people are getting healthier and better.4:56 And so what we're gonna talk about is, silence and men speaking. And kind of the root scripture for our time together is Ecclesiastes chapter 3 verses 1 and 7. And he5:08 says this, Solomon does, for everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven. And here's the big idea. A time to keep silent or a time to keep silence and a time to speak.5:19 Those are the 2 things we're gonna talk about today. Silence and speaking and knowing that you need time for each, and you need to know when it is time to be quiet and when it is time to say something.5:31 And so I'll start with silence, and then we'll get into speaking. Silence is really a form of fasting. We fast from food where we don't eat. Maybe we fast from work. That's called a Sabbath day or a day off.5:44 Maybe we fast from some things that we enjoy. Sometimes people do this with, like, alcohol or dessert or entertainment forms to sort of give their body, their mind, their soul a break. Silence5:56 is how we fast from noise, and it allows us to sort of quiet our heart and our mind. And so what God tends to do, he tends to pour into us in moments of6:07 silence, and then we could pour out to others by speaking what God has spoken to us. So I'm gonna give you a scripture, and it's in first Kings, and it relates to this man named, Elijah. I'll6:19 explain all this in a moment. First Kings 19 11 through 13, God says, go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by. And a great and strong wind tore6:31 the mountains and broken pieces the rocks before the Lord. It's like a hurricane. But the Lord was not in the wind. And after the wind, an earthquake. But the Lord was not in the earthquake. Loud,6:43 powerful, dramatic ways that God had spoken in the past. Previously in Revelation history, God in the Old Testament, he did speak through strong winds and through earthquakes,6:55 but not this time. And after the earthquake, a fire. Profound, dramatic. God had spoken previously in a fire, including leading God's children out of slavery by a fire, but the Lord was7:07 not in the fire. And after the fire, the sound of a a low whisper. Some translations will use a gentle whisper or a quiet whisper. And when Elijah heard it, he wrapped7:19 his face in his cloak. He knew that this was the voice of God and he was in the presence of God. And he went out and he stood at the entrance of the cave. And behold, there came a voice to him and then God speaks to him.7:30 Give me the context of first Kings 19. The context is that there is a succession of godless, demonic, evil, horrific, reprehensible kings in the nation of7:42 Israel. I'm studying Elijah right now, and we're gonna start a series on Elijah that'll start in March and go March, April, May, June. So I'm deep into Elijah right now.7:54 And so what happens is the the nation is in decline. No 1 is listening to the Lord. God has been speaking to his people for generations. No 1 is listening, and no 1 is obeying. And as a8:06 result, there is a deterioration in the nation, and there is judgment on people, including God's people. And this kingdom is led by a godless man named Ahab and his8:18 demonic wife Jezebel. Working behind them are the Ahab spirits and the Jezebel spirit. The Ahab spirit is passive, and the Jezebel spirit is controlling. And we're8:29 gonna get into all of this, and it'll be a mind melt for you men. But the Ahab spirit causes men to become passive, fear of conflict, inactive. And and as a8:41 result, it opens the door for the controlling Jezebel spirit to take over and to do evil. And so this is a classic case of a passive husband and a controlling wife, both of8:53 which are dominated by demonic spirits. They had 2 gods that were primarily worshipped in the nation rather than the real god, Baal, was a male demon,9:05 and, also Asherah, who is a female demon, and literally this king and queen or the personification, of these demons. So Elijah was constantly listening to the9:17 Lord. The Lord would speak to Elijah. God would pour in. And then as a prophet, he would speak to Ahab, the king, and Jezebel, the queen, and he would pour out. So Elijah's9:28 life is a case study in what we're studying. Silence and speaking. The Lord speaks to you. You listen, and then you say what the Lord has given you to say. That's the function in the ministry9:40 of the prophet Elijah. Well, in the previous section, God told him to call a public showdown, kinda like the old west, you know, pull your guns at noon on the9:52 street, and, 1 of us is gonna win and 1 of us is gonna lose. It was the public showdown between the real God and the false gods, between Elijah, the prophet of God, and the 850 false prophets10:04 of, Baal and Asherah that were funded by, Ahab and Jezebel. Well, God won that victory, and fire came down in 1 of the great moments of the Bible and10:15 consumed the sacrifice. And then Elijah slaughtered 850 prophets of Baal and prophets of Asherah. And then Jezebel puts a bounty on his head and10:27 seeks to kill the prophet. Because the demonic spirit working through Jezebel is so strong, and I can't wait to get into this in a few months. Elijah is fearful. He's anxious. He literally runs for10:39 his life. He goes from his great victory to running for his life. That's how powerful this demonic spirit is. He flees about 100 miles. He goes off into the wilderness. He lays down, and he basically says, I just10:51 want to die. He's exhausted. Some of you men have been there. Some of you are there. Physically exhausted, spiritually exhausted, mentally exhausted, emotionally exhausted.11:03 He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know where to go. He is overwhelmed. He is fearful. He's retreating. He's hiding. He's running for his life. And God shows up to speak11:15 to him. And God doesn't speak in the ways that he had previously. And sometimes in our life, we get accustomed to God speaking to us in 1 way, and we wrongly assume11:27 or presume that that's the only way that he might speak to us. As it says, there was a fire, but God wasn't in a fire. There was an earthquake, but God wasn't in an earthquake. And also, there was strong, you know,11:37 torrential winds like a hurricane, and God wasn't in them. But God came quietly. That's what it says. God came and whispered very, very gently to Elijah. And Elijah heard11:49 that. He realized that the Lord was present and that the Lord was speaking. And the result is that he humbles himself. He sort of hides himself, and he listens. And if you read the12:01 remainder of this section, God tells him exactly what is happening, tells him exactly what to do, and tells him exactly what God will be doing. The point is this, I believe that12:13 God is often speaking, and I believe that few people are listening. And I hear this from people all the time. Like, well, God doesn't you God's never really spoken to me. It's like, maybe he has. Maybe he has a lot. But12:24 maybe he wasn't screaming and yelling like a fire, like an earthquake, or like a hurricane. Maybe it was just a whisper and you weren't listening. You had your car radio on. You had your TV on. You had your12:36 headphones in. You were watching the game. You were talking on the phone. You weren't paying any attention. And it is possible that God is speaking and that no 1 is listening. Because in the nation of Israel at that12:47 time, God had been speaking for generations, and no 1 was listening. That's why he raised up the prophet Elijah to be his mouthpiece and a spokesman so that God could12:58 speak in a new way, in a fresh way, in a prophetic way. And hopefully, some people would open their ears. And in the days of Elijah, they did. What if God is speaking and nobody is listening? I know there's times with my13:10 wife, Grace, where we'll be having a conversation, and I'll look at her and she'll say, well, you know, we're doing this tonight, or here's where we're going this weekend, or so and so's coming over. And I'll look at13:18 her. I'll say, I didn't know that. You didn't tell me. She's like, I did tell you, but you weren't listening. I was like, that's true. I wonder if God doesn't feel like that often.13:30 Like he's speaking, nobody's listening. Now as a result, we're like Elijah. We're anxious. We're fearful. We're overworked. We're stressed. We're running for our lives. We're discouraged. We13:42 don't know where to go. We don't know what to do. We don't know what to say. We're pouring out all of our energy, but we're not stewarding it wisely. We need a word from God. So this is where silence becomes13:54 absolutely critical. Had Elijah in that moment, you know, had a phone, been watching the game, or had the earbuds in his ear, he wouldn't have heard that small whisper of God. But he14:06 he went away, so he's having solitude, and we'll deal with this in a future week. And he's opening his ears to listen because his heart is open so that he could hear a word from the Lord. Had14:18 Elijah not been listening, what God was saying would not have been utilized by him. How how are you at silence? Even even as14:29 I teach, get a room full of people. Just leave silence.14:42 For some people, that's very awkward, That's very uncomfortable. For other people, it's very settling, and it's very encouraging. There are some wonderful things that happen in silence that don't happen in noise.14:54 And here's some things that silence will help you with. It helps you wait. I don't know about you as a man. I'm very impatient. My favorite things are fast and faster. That's what I like.15:06 And there are times where there's nothing to say and there's nothing to do. Cause God needs to go before you and you just need to wait. And so what silence allows is, you know what? I'm not15:18 going to say anything and I'm not going to do anything. I'm just going to wait for the Lord to do his thing. In addition, it helps us to learn. 1 of the things you can do if it's silent,15:30 you can actually pick up a book or even a book like the Bible and just start reading. And sometimes it's hard when there's a lot of noise. My wife needs it totally silent to study.15:42 And so for me, I study best in silence. I like going up to the woods. I will literally hike into the woods. Sometimes I'll bring, like a portable chair on my back, and I'll bring a book or a bible, highlighter, a pen.15:54 I'll just find a beautiful place in the woods. And I'll just sit there all day and read my bible or read a book just in total silence. All I can hear is, you know, the deer running around and the wind through the pine16:06 trees up in the mountains, and I and and it clears my mind and my heart and my soul to learn. Sometimes silence helps you process a life experience. There are times to be sure when16:17 things happen and we need to verbal process and talk about it, and sometimes we don't. We just need to consider it. There's an incredible event in Revelation chapter 8 verse 1 where16:30 the people in heaven, in the unseen realm, in the presence of God, this is angels and divine beings as well as departed saints who are human beings. And it's almost16:42 like they have this unique vantage point of what is going on in the earth. So they're with the Lord in heaven, and they're seeing what's going on in the earth. And then God shows up and16:53 does something incredible, unexpected. And it says this in Revelation 8 1, there was silence in heaven for 30 minutes. God17:05 showed up and did something, and everybody in heaven just was quiet. There's like, I just need 30 minutes to process what I just witnessed. There are times17:17 that things happen in your life, good and bad, positive and negative, and you just need some time to process. You're like, I gotta think about this. Like, what just what just happened? Like, if your wife17:29 tells you, hey. I'm pregnant with our first child. You may need to just sit down for 30 minutes and just sort of process that. Your dad tells you he's got cancer, you may need to just sit down for17:41 30 minutes and just process that or more. There are times in life where you don't want to just say something and you don't wanna just do something. You gotta process17:53 so you know what to say and do. And that's what silence provides. Sometimes too, silence just helps you enjoy God's presence. You know what? I'm just gonna go for me, I like being outside. I like going for walks. I like18:04 hikes. I like beautiful scenery. I like going off road in my Bronco and just being in God's creation, and I just like turning off my phone and spending time with the Lord.18:16 In addition, it allows you to journal, and we'll deal with this in a future session. But journaling is where you're just kinda thinking it through with the Lord. Just kinda processing. Okay? And it's silent. You're not18:27 talking to anyone. You're just processing. Sometimes this can be a wonderful thing in your life you wanna remember. This can be a painful thing in your life that you need to process. This can be a decision in your life18:38 that you need to consider. I journal all the time. Sometimes it's good to rest. Silence is good to rest. Jesus took a day off, and so you should take a day off. And Jesus took naps, so you should take18:49 naps. God doesn't expect you to be any more productive than Jesus. And we live in a day when most people, quite frankly, they're overworked, they're underslept, and there's too much noise in technology. We're on our19:01 phones up until late at night, and we're being stimulated by screen time, and it affects our sleep and our well-being. And sometimes, just turning off all of your technology and cutting out the noise19:13 allows you to just relax and rest. Even non Christians who don't understand the holy spirit or the presence of God will just talk about the importance of silence to just settle the soul19:25 and to calm the body. And sometimes it's good to take a nap. And sometimes what silence does, it just helps you prepare. Maybe you're coming into a big season of life, big decisions, something big on the horizon,19:37 and you need to withdraw, have silence so that God can prepare you for what comes next. In the storyline of Jesus, before he, launched his public ministry, he spent19:48 40 days in silence. Literally just withdrew and retreated. He didn't talk to anybody, and nobody talked to him. 40 days of silence to prepare him for20:00 a public ministry that included preaching and teaching. And some people ask, well, Jesus was an itinerant. He didn't get it wasn't like church where every Sunday he had a sermon, and he had a schedule, and he had an20:12 office, and had an assistant. How did Jesus prep all those messages? I think he may have prepped a large percentage of them in 40 days of silence, listening and preparing what he was to be speaking20:24 and preaching. And then lastly, this may be 1 of the most important, if not the most important. Silence helps you practice listening prayer. Prayer is not20:36 only speaking to God, but it's listening to God. In any relationship, everyone will tell you communication is essential. Communication is you speak and you listen when they speak. That's the key to a relationship.20:49 And listening prayer is where you are silent and you are waiting for God to speak to you. Again, back to the story of Elijah. This is exactly what happens. He is silent21:01 and he is listening and God is speaking. And so Satan doesn't and demons don't know your thoughts. Satan and demons aren't all knowing. God's21:13 attribute would be omniscient that he is all knowing. Satan and demons aren't. And so they can read our body language, and they could sort of read our facial expressions, or or they could see whether we're agitated or21:24 relaxed or stressed. But they can't know our thoughts. God knows your thoughts. God knows the thoughts of your mind and the inclination of your heart. And so what that means is when you're silent, it's like21:36 opening a private, secure communication channel to God. If you're saying out loud, God can hear it, and so can Satan and demons if they happen to be around. If you're only saying it in your heart and your mind,21:48 God knows it, and no 1 else can hear it. In addition to God being able to know your thoughts and read your mind, so too God can send thoughts into your mind and desires22:00 into your heart. That's what listening prayer is. And sometimes God will show up and speak in a supernatural way. We see in the bible, sometimes it's an audible voice or,22:12 an angel shows up or something supernatural happens or there's a dream when you're asleep or there's a vision when you're awake or oftentimes God just speaks through his word and22:24 applies it specifically. Sometimes God speaks through someone else who loves and serves him, and they become the messenger of that message. But sometimes God just brings a thought to mind or he22:35 confirms something in your soul. Alright, guys. Pastor Mark here letting you know about the latest book, New Days Old Demons. It's a prophetic word against pathetic wokeness. You guys understand22:47 exactly what I'm talking about. Hopefully, it is on sale. If not, it's coming out very, very soon. Would appreciate your prayers as we punch a lot of people and things in the mouth. And if it's a help, get a22:59 copy. What happens when you get time for listening prayer, it's amazing how your mind clears and your heart clears and your soul clears and God's will becomes clear as well.23:12 When my kids were little, they had a decision to make or something they're processing. I tried not to always tell them what to do, but to say, well, have you talked to the Lord about this? Have you prayed? Have you23:22 gotten some solitude, some silence? Has God laid anything on your heart? What are you thinking? How are you processing this? I wanted them to learn to hear from the Lord. And I wanted my children to23:33 obey me, but more importantly, I wanted them to know that they had a father in heaven who loved them as well and was available and would speak to them. And it was amazing because my kids would come back and they'd say,23:43 well, I was thinking about it or I was praying about it or, you know, I just was outside on a swing and, you know, I started thinking about this. And I'm wondering if those thoughts weren't from the Lord. And is the Lord23:53 speaking to me? And I'd help him process that. Yeah. That was the Lord. You heard from the Lord. Now, you know, the Lord is talking to you. Now, we're gonna work with that, and you're gonna act on that. I've had some24:03 profound and what I find is I need more time listening than I do speaking to be a bible teacher. So I go for hikes every week. I go for walks and drives. And I go up to the mountains, and I like just24:14 silence. And God will bring to mind things, and it helps me know what to say and how to lead. I had a few of these moments here not long ago. So24:26 some months ago, I was in a solid a silence period. And sometimes I'll take 24, 48 hours of silence. Now that my kids are grown, that's possible. If you've got little kids, if you get 24 to 48 seconds24:38 of silence, you're doing really good. But, now that my kids are a little older, I'll go a whole day or 2 of total silence. And I'm just listening. I'll do it while I'm hiking or walking or whatever, but I'm listening.24:49 It's an active presence. And I started thinking some months ago about the issue of abortion. And it was not yet, you know, the overturning of the Roe v Wade situation. But I25:01 just felt in my spirit like that decision was coming. And so I started thinking about, well, if I was to explain abortion from a historical, biblical, philosophical, legal, moral25:12 standpoint, how would I do that? So I grabbed my laptop, total silence, and I just started typing everything that I was kind of thinking and processing. And I sat there for 14 hours, and when25:24 I was done, I had written about a 30000 word book called Abortion and tried to give it away and got banned on all the social media platforms. And so, you know, we did the best we could. But it was literally25:35 just listening for 14 hours. I didn't know in that morning I was going to write a book, and I did in 14 hours just by listening. Didn't have an outline. Didn't know. But it all came together. I had that25:47 recently as well with Elijah. I sat down in silence. I took a whole day of silence to walk and to hike and to just spend time with the Lord. And then I I was studying25:59 Elijah, and I thought, okay, I'm gonna sit down and write a study guide. So I sat down, and it turned into a 68000 word book that I just finished on the life of Elijah, and the Jezebel spirit, and the Ahab spirit, and26:10 what's going on in culture, and and a lot of connections that I had never even thought of. And I'll teach you the series. We'll get into the book of Elijah. Things I had never even heard or thought of.26:22 And then God just brought them to mind. And next thing you know, I have an accidental book that I'll give to you here shortly on Elijah. You just never know what's gonna happen when you meet with the Lord. And not every26:33 time is, you know, great download and clarity and God shows up. But I think God is speaking a lot more than we are listening. And so we're going to transition from silence to26:45 speaking. And sometimes the best thing you can do before you talk to them is listen to him. Before you have that fight with your wife, have that discussion with your heavenly father.26:57 Before you make that big decision, listen a lot to see what your dad has to say. And so we'll deal with 1 text here, James 3. And James uses these amazing27:08 analogies for our tongue and the words that we speak. If we put bits in the mouth of horses of the Abaeus, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also. They are so large and are driven by strong winds,27:21 yet they are guided by a very small rotary. He says, in addition, how great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. For every kind of beast and bird, reptile, and sea creature can be tamed. It's incredible what we27:32 see at the zoo and what people can keep as pets and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. What he's saying is that sometimes it's the little things27:44 that actually cause the big things. He uses the analogy of a bit in a horse's mouth. If you look at a giant, majestic, strong horse, the fact that it's controlled by a very small27:56 bit is really interesting. If you were to look at that horse, you would not assume that something so small could control and direct something so large, but that's what a bit does. He also uses the28:07 analogy of a rudder. You go to a gigantic ship, and the entire ship is controlled and driven by a very small rudder. In addition, he says, you know, if you look at a massive raging28:19 forest fire, it usually started with just 1 little spark. This is why when you go camping, they want you to dead out your campground because even a few embers can burn down an entire national forest.28:31 And what he's saying is that the tongue is like that. It's not big, but it creates some big problems. And he's saying that controlling the tongue is as hard as breaking a wild horse28:43 or navigating a ship during a storm or trying to stop a wildfire once it's found dry tender. That ultimately, there's always going to be this battle to control our28:55 speech and our communication. And if we're honest, we all struggle with it, and it is a fight and a battle. We've all said things that we wish we didn't say. We've all posted29:07 things we wish we wouldn't have posted. And we've all failed to say things that we wish we would have said, like, I love you. And what we see, according to the sociologist, the average woman speaks29:19 about 20000 words a day. The average man speaks about 7000 words a day. Some of you guys are external. You're verbal. You're teachers. You're Walmart greeters. You're salesman. You're highly29:31 relational. And so you may get more words in, but the truth is that most men speak less words than women. But then start to think of this. In addition to the words that you speak, what are all the other ways29:43 that we communicate? And that would be inclusive of our speech. All the emails you send. All the contracts that you send or sign in business, all of the tweets29:55 or Facebook posts or Instagram posts or TikTok posts or YouTube posts or online social media comments or texts or phone calls, or30:06 FaceTimes, or Zoom meetings. You just start to look at technology, and what we have is we have more communication than at any point in the history of the world. And I would say this, less listening.30:19 Everyone is speaking and no 1 is listening, and very few are listening for the voice of God. If you wanna know more about speech and the tongue and investing your words rather than wasting your words, if I could give30:31 you 1 book of the Bible, it would be Proverbs. And if you just wanna read Proverbs, it's gonna talk about the tongue and speech and communication a lot. You can just highlight or circle those. Just read through Proverbs30:42 if you struggle with your tongue, and I have. And I'll be honest that most men, we struggle with our tongue. We just do. And, and Jesus says that we'll be judged for every word that we say, which is a30:54 terrifying thing. Jesus says that it's out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. And so what we say reveals how we feel and who we are. And so if there's a problem with what comes out, there's a31:05 problem with what's in. I've used the analogy before, but there's an old missionary named Amy Carmichael. And she says, you know, basically, whatever's in is what comes out.31:18 She says, if there's pure water and I spill it, out comes pure water. If there's bitter water or defiled dirty water and I spill it, that's what comes out. What we say reveals a lot31:30 about what is going on inside of us. Why are you angry when you talk about that issue? Why are you scared when you talk about that issue?31:41 Why do you become defensive when you talk about that issue? Why do you boast about those things and that issue? What comes out reveals a lot of what's going on in here. And so it's an31:53 indication, and it can help us to make some adjustments by God's grace. And I would say and submit to you that as men, this is a perennial struggle,32:05 and it's usually generational. So there's a guy in the Bible. Was praying for you last night. And this is I was silent. And I was like, okay, Lord. I've thrown together a talk last minute, so I gotta prerecord. Is there32:16 anything I've missed? And I just sat in silence. And then this came to mind, and I believe it was from the Lord. In Isaiah chapter 6, there's a guy named Isaiah. He's a believer, like you guys. And, he he doesn't seem to32:27 be a bad guy, pretty normal believer. And in Isaiah 6, he comes into the presence of God. And he sees the angels worshiping God and crying out, holy, holy, holy is the Lord God32:39 Almighty. And I think in John 12 41, John says that Isaiah saw Jesus and spoke of his glory, if my memory is correct. So so Isaiah is seeing Jesus in his glorious state seated in32:51 heaven before he entered into human history. And the first thing that Isaiah is convicted of, for those of you who know the story, what is it? It's his mouth. What he says is,33:03 woe to me. And that's a curse. He's like, I'm a dead man. And he says, because I'm a man with unclean lips. And he says, furthermore, I come from a people of unclean33:14 lips. When he gets into the presence of God and he hears the speech of angels, he is now evaluating his own words, realizing that he is a dead man.33:27 And that a lot of his sin has come from his words, and a lot of his sin, is a multigenerational problem in his family. He says I'm a man of unclean lips and I come from a people of unclean lips. Now don't, you know,33:38 don't shout it out loud. But how many of you, your dad? Not so good with his words. Bad nicknames, cursing, yelling, threatening, screaming, berating, dominating,33:49 domineering, fearful, scared, excuse making, blame shifting, never owning. How many of you your grandpa always like that? How many of you goes for generations? That's what Isaiah34:01 senses. I'm a man of unclean lips, and I come from a legacy of men with unclean lips. And he notices it, and he is aware of it. And then here's what happens. God sends an angel with a34:13 hot coal and literally atones and redeems his tongue, his mouth, his lips. And he goes from being 1 who is saying things that are against God to 1 who preaches the34:25 truth for God. And the point is we've got to acknowledge and let me just say this. If you think it's funny that I'm teaching this message, it's because I'm the most guilty probably in the whole room of saying things I34:36 should not have said or saying things in ways that were not most beneficial. And so I'm not saying that this is something that I have nailed and I'm here to give you the lesson on how to be like me. We're all in it34:47 together. And we've all said things that we regret and not said things that should have been said. That's the story of Isaiah. Let me close with the last point. Our words do 1 of 2 things. They, beat34:59 people down or they build them up. And here at Real Men, we say that this is a world that beats men down, and we want to build men up to bless women and children. So our goal with our words, my35:11 words, your words around the table for those who are joining us online with men's group all over the nation and the world, and you guys are meeting all over the place. The goal is to use our words not to beat 1 another35:22 down, but to build 1 another up. And I'll give you 2 scriptures. Proverbs 18 21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. How many of you have seen this? How many of you grew up in a home where your dad's words35:33 brought life and some of you, your dad's words brought death? Sometimes, some of you can remember moments in your life where dad said something and it felt like he shot you in the soul.35:44 Just like, I I I you still remember that. And sometimes this can be mockery. This can be literally discouraging you, building, resentment or bitterness. This can35:56 be beating you down. And sometimes men do this with names and nicknames. I was thinking about this. I'll save that, and I'll get into it in a moment. Let me36:08 hit 1 more scripture and then conclude with a thought. Ephesians 4 29. Don't use foul or abusive language. Just imagine if anyone on the Internet tried to obey that. It would be such a better place.36:21 Let everything you say be good and helpful so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Some translations say that the words that you speak would help build other people up. And36:33 what this is, this is other person centered communication. It's not, this is what I think. This is what I feel. This is where I'm at. This is what I need. This is what I want. Instead, it's okay. What do you think? What36:43 do you feel? What do you want? What do you need? How do I not unleash on you, but consider you and then strengthen you, forgive you, and build you up?36:55 Some of you men, you could see profound changes in your marriage and family with words like, I'm sorry. I should have never done that. I should have never said that. That was37:07 wrong. There's no excuse. It's not your fault. It's mine. Please forgive me. I'm not going to defend myself. There's37:19 no excuse. Those are words that strengthen a relationship and build trust. Other words like, I forgive you. I'm never gonna bring that up again. I'm not gonna37:31 hold that over your head. I'm not gonna punish you for that. You know, Jesus died for that, and, we're gonna let that go. Tremendous good can happen when the tongue is utilized to build up rather37:43 than beat down. And so I was thinking about this, and this is my closing point. In Genesis, when God decided to create everything out37:54 of nothing, he did so by speaking. In the beginning, God said. Hebrews 11 says everything that is seen was made by the power of the word of God. And so there's38:06 power in God's words, and there is not the same level, but there is also power in our words. And God could have chosen any way to bring life into existence and creation out of38:18 nothing, but instead he chose to speak it. It shows you the power of speaking. And then God made man in his image and likeness.38:30 But God made the man and he made our first father and he made the man to listen and to speak. So God speaks to Adam like a father speaking to his38:41 son, and then he tells the son that he needs to speak. Right? Silence speaking. Silence, speaking. Hear from your father. Say what he says.Show more
Mark Driscoll
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