Skip to content Building a Resilient Life with Rebekah Lyons Jan 22 · 40 min ...more
Building a Resilient Life with Rebekah Lyons
January 22, 2026 · 40 min
Rebekah Lyons shares her powerful hope story of navigating a difficult childbirth and learning her firstborn son had Down syndrome.
Series Hope Talks Podcast Videos January 22, 2026 · 40 min · Hope Talks Podcast Videos
Rebekah Lyons shares her powerful hope story of navigating a difficult childbirth and learning her firstborn son had Down syndrome. ...more Show the full description Show less Rebekah Lyons shares her powerful hope story of navigating a difficult childbirth and learning her firstborn son had Down syndrome.
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Hope for the Heart is a worldwide biblical counseling, coaching, and caregiving ministry founded by June Hunt in 1986. We’re passionate about helping people
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A Transformative Hope Story: From Trauma to Trust 0:00 We don't need to push so hard on what we think our life ought to look like or resist so much when life doesn't look the way we plan. But instead go, okay, Lord, you knit me in a way that you would call out0:11 destiny over me. And when I get in that lane, right, if I live into the current of what you've already ordained or appointed or anointed, then I'm gonna get to experience you and encounter0:23 you in such a hopeful way.0:26 Welcome to Hope Talks. We're your hosts. I'm Haley Scully along with Dustin Anderson, and we wanna give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life because hope means everything.0:42 Hey, Dustin.0:44 Hey, Hailey.0:46 I don't know why I launched into that, but it is guest day and I'm really looking forward to our conversation today. Who are we talking with on this0:54 topic? Today, we are blessed to have Rebecca Lyons with us. For those of you who don't know, Rebecca Lyons is a best selling author and speaker whose work focuses a lot on, mental and emotional health, resiliency,1:06 identity, marriage, finding freedom in Christ. And so just a lot of great overlap with a lot of the topics we talk about here at Hope for the Heart. But, again, the author of a number of books, including Rhythms of1:18 Renewal. I'm hoping to get a little bit into that. I love that concept. Also, You Are Free, Building a Resilient Life and her newest book with her husband, Gabe, The Fight for Us that came out this April. And1:30 then her and her husband, Gabe, also cohost the Rhythms for Life podcast and have 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 children. So very busy.1:40 Welcome, Rebecca, to Hope Talks.1:42 Oh, thank you. Thanks so much for having me. It's good to be with you guys.1:46 Well, like I said, when we were getting started, we looked at all of your topics and kind of the lane of ministry and encouragement that you give people. We were like, this is a really good connect. So we hope that you1:57 feel that way by the end of the conversation, but I think we're excited to have you on. So we'll start like we usually do. We kinda shared with you. We love to ask people like, what is their hope story? And for some of2:09 our guests, it is the time that they accepted Christ. They kinda knew right then what it meant to put their hope in the Lord and in Jesus. But then for some people or some of us, it's a little bit later in life. It's2:19 maybe a situation or trial that they went through where they really learned to lean into the Lord as their hope. So that's our first question for you before we get into some of the books. What would your hope story be2:31 that you would share with us today?2:33 Yeah. I think the most pivotal hope story would be when I was 26 years old and my first born was born. Emergency c section, failure to thrive, 4 and a half pounds full term,2:45 And it was 1 of the it was the most physically traumatic day of my life because we were, you know, fighting for him to live, and it was just a very tenuous operation in2:57 the OR. But all that to say when they whisked them away and I went off to recovery, the doctor came into my room about 1 in the morning. It's about 6 hours after all that and said, we see signs of3:09 Down syndrome in your baby. So that, as a 26 year old, and my husband was laying there on the cot next to me. It had been, like, a 18 hour day. We were I was still very drugged, and, I would just3:20 remember not having language to process that. But the next day, when we went, I was still in a wheelchair because I had 2 epidurals, so it became a high block lock,3:32 and I almost, like, wasn't able to breathe on the table. So there's are already so many complications anyways at that young age, but just seeing him for the first time and knowing that, you know, he3:44 didn't have the the muscle tone to latch on or to breathe on his own or to eat on his own yet. And at that point, we were just really fighting for his life. And so any kind of diagnosis was secondary.3:57 And within a week's time, you know, the Lord just made him strong, and he was actually able to come home once he turned 5 pounds, which was about 7 or 8 days4:09 later, which was really a miracle because usually you lose before you gain. And at the same time, I just remember growing up in the church, accepted Christ when I was 5, and so this is about4:21 21 years later. And I found in that week just a complete dependence on the Lord, on my knees, just desperate for his power, for his4:33 healing, for his just his guidance, honestly, every step of the way, and I encountered that in such a powerful way. And so I had known what it meant to walk with4:44 God, but I'd never known the rescue of God, And that became a new catalytic way of engaging God, of trusting God, of leaning not4:56 on my own understanding of just, like, at every turn abiding and remaining with him. And so that did change. You know, he's almost 25, so that was 25 years ago. And that5:08 changed my view of life in every way because I think we have this picture of what our life will be or what it'll look like, and there's an interruption because, obviously, we are5:20 not the authors of our life. Psalm 1 39 tells us that while God knit Cade in my womb, you know, his works were wonderful, and that Cade's brain was never hidden from him when he was made in the5:32 secret place. His eyes saw Cade's unformed body, and all Cade's days were written and planned before 1 of them began. And so if that's true for Cade, that's true for me, that's true for you, that that5:44 all our days are written and planned before 1 of them began. And if that is true, then we don't need to push so hard on what we think our life ought to look like or resist so much when life doesn't look the way we5:56 plan. But instead go, okay, Lord, you knit me in a way that you would call out destiny over me. And when I get in that lane, right, if I live into the current of what you've already6:08 ordained or appointed or anointed, then I'm gonna get to experience you and encounter you in such a hopeful way. Right? Like, a way that's gonna look very different maybe than what I would have imagined. And some people6:20 say, this isn't the life I asked for, or this isn't the life I planned, but that is the point. You know, life never really looks the way any of us plan. So it's the bigger6:32 question is, are we gonna kinda surrender to an uncharted path, you know, or are we gonna fight and re resent or become bitter? And I think it's God's mercy that6:44 allowed me. It's not like I'm some super Christian that was like, I'm gonna take the right response, but more Yeah. The Holy Spirit just gave me the tools and the equipment 1 day at a time to trust God.6:56 Yeah. That was I I love that. I love what you said about experiencing the rescue of God, because that is kind of a it sounds like that was a real pivot point. And that was gonna be my7:08 question. Like, what kept you from getting angry at God and blaming him rather than feeling rescued, you know, experiencing him in that way? What made you7:20 hopeful in that moment?7:22 I think it was just because it was so unexpected and I was so young and had all these different, like, pictures or imagination and because I was so ignorant to, like, honestly, the special needs community. So it was all7:34 very, like, right in front of me. I think the rescue was maybe rescuing me from the life I intended and and and opening me up to a kingdom life that's far7:45 more upside down and the first becomes last and the last becomes first. Or if you lose your life, the life that you thought you would have have or should have, then you find your life. So it was almost the7:57 rescue was, hey. You have no idea what I have for you. And while it will feel foreign or terrifying or unknown, It also will8:09 be full of adventure and risk and living fully. And if that's the case, then it's not you don't I don't think we were made for predictability. I don't think we were made for comfort.8:21 Those things are nice, but they can also, like, lull us to sleep. And I do think the Lord invites us to live in a way that does overcome, that that looks stronger8:33 than we think, you know, that offers a resilient hope. And so for me, that's the rescue was because I was so desperate for I was grieving, so I was desperate for comfort,8:45 and I was desperate for his nearness, and I needed to feel his presence. And it wasn't couldn't be cerebral. It had to be embodied. It definitely had to feel like8:57 like I'm being held in that season. And that's hard to explain to people until you walk through some kind of, like, loss or tragic thing. And and I'm not saying Kaye's birth was tragic. A lot of people have9:08 lost tragic they have lost loved ones, and that's very tragic. I've lost my dad. My husband lost my mom his mom. We understand loss, but there is, like, a different kind of ambiguous loss that you9:20 live with that I wrote about in the resilient book where it's adversity without an end date, and that just means that the life that you are living is different. Right? You might 1 might be9:32 physically present but psychologically absent, or 1 might be psychologically present but physically absent. And so this is important to know because a lot of adversity that doesn't have an end date will require you to9:44 trust in a belief in something or someone in a God that is able to sustain you in a new way of living, a new way of endurance or a new way of9:55 resilience. And hopefully, not just sustain you, but that adversity awakens something in you that is strength and that is hope and that is meaning.Blessings in Adversity: Risks, Family, and Divine Adventure 10:05 Yeah. That's beautiful.10:07 I wanna ask a little bit about just kind of moving forward looking back 25 years now. So a lot of what you shared reminds me of my nephew, Vincent. So Vincent was10:19 born my brother's gonna have to correct me here, but, like, 3 or 3 or 4 and a half months premature, and this was roughly 25 years ago. So we didn't have, you know, the medical10:30 advances we have today, but he has a host of special needs issues. I mean, mentally, he's probably, you know, still a child and can't speak, has fed through feeding tube,10:42 a whole host of issues. But he's actually, like, the most joyous, happy kid you're ever gonna meet.10:50 Yeah.10:51 But there was when I when I hear you kinda talk about, like, there's a grief involved when you kind of especially with a child, like, and your expectations of what is my life gonna look like,11:03 what is this child's life gonna be like, how am I gonna cope with this, like, there's kind of, like, grieving of what your life may have looked like, but then there's also, like,11:15 being 20, 25 years later now, I can't imagine I know my brother can't imagine we can't imagine our lives without Vincent. Like, he is just he brings so much joy to our lives. What are some of, like, the11:27 the blessings that you've kind of seen now, you know, all this time later, but also, like, maybe what are some of those things you've had to grieve? And you've kind of shared some of them already, but what are some of11:39 the Well, the blessings. You've seen now through that?11:42 The blessings are that I just encounter God in such powerful ways as a result of Cade, and Cade helped us venture out. Because life looked different, it almost gave us an excuse to go, how do we11:54 wanna reconsider our life? Because God had a different, you know, plan than we thought. And so that led us into the work that we do now. We wound up launching a nonprofit that is called Think Media, and it's helping12:06 Christians on the front lines of culture in arts or government or policy or social sector or church or business or finance, you name it. And we wound up moving to New York City 10 years12:17 later after that and living in kind of the helping, like, start churches, as lay leaders on the up uptown and downtown. We we just felt like life12:29 was now really not ours to manage or hold, but to to risk. And and so we just kinda kept stepping into risk because risk had kind of in many ways been the12:41 rescue. Like, the risk required so much trust. And Yeah. And the temptation is always to go back to security and comfort and safety because it's just the12:53 like, the the brain wants that. Like, you just don't want it to always be hard. So I'm not trying to out here say, like, you should just chase everything that's hard. But you do build a13:05 stamina for for for risk because it's more about trust. You know? Like, do we feel like God is nudging us to something that requires sacrifice again or surrender again? And so every decade13:17 for us since then, since our twenties and now we're 51 and 50, is, like, put all the chips in the middle of the table, and is there a risk for this decade? Is there something the Lord continues to push us into13:29 because our faith needs to be fortified? Like, risk requires faith. Faith is only growing if it's stretched or exercised or it's a muscle that you have to continue to develop. It's13:41 faith will atrophy if you do do not, like, continue to risk. So the idea of that was in our thirties, was to move to Manhattan. And with Kate at that point as a 9 year old and our son13:53 Pierce was 7 and our daughter was 5, that's when I started to develop panic disorder when they first moved to the city because I'm all about the idea of risk. Let's just say that. But the reality of it still is very14:04 hard. There is a free fall that typically follows that moment that you have to kind of, like, just let the Lord catch you in that free fall, but you there is still a free fall season. And for me personally, in14:16 every transition we've said yes to. So I'd love to say, like, yes. I'm bold and never doubted, but I know without with clarity that God invites us into risk. And I think if we're all honest with14:27 ourselves, we know when that still small voice nudges us into something that we either kinda lean into or we kind of ignore, but it keeps coming back around. And it's usually attached to some tenderness14:39 in our in us, something that makes us cry or something that keeps us up at night. There is something the spirit is trying to nudge us towards that it you know, is an open invitation. But at the same point, that14:51 looked like New York. God met me there, and that was another very desperate season, needing God in a new physical way for my mental capacity in the in the city. And then a decade later, inviting us to15:03 choose disown Down syndrome this time in our forties, you know, almost a decade after that, and say yes to adopting a little girl with Down syndrome and going to China and choosing15:15 what we were so terrified of, you know, 13 years prior. I know now God gave us Kay because he knew there'd be a joy and that we would say yes, but not because we we are these, like, noble people15:27 that just go rescue or we she rescued us, let's be honest, but who go, you know, around the world and adopt children with special needs. It just was the way the Lord the plans that he had already put in place.15:39 And a lot of times, what feels so scary for anybody, at first, eventually just becomes a resilience building exercise. It is no longer traumatic. It is no longer detrimental.15:52 We have grown the muscle of resilience, which, again, is a lot like faith. It must be exercised on a continuum so that what used to be scary is now just a Tuesday.16:04 And Yeah. And that's important. Right? That's important. So, otherwise, we would shrink back from everything. And if you avoid fear, it grows. So you have to continue to to push into the things that require risk.16:16 And, honestly, it I would love to say that it gets easier as you get older, but being 51 now, I I have to admit it's not easier. As you get older, you you16:28 have to have those quickening conversations with your spouse or your family or your community going, are are there places I'm holding back right now? Because comfort feels nice or security feels nice.16:40 And the minute you start doing that, you need to have a good check with the Lord and with your people and go, like, maybe God's inviting us to lay something down because we've grown too comfortable with it and it's it16:52 might be causing us to pause on pressing into something. So I think for everyone, the Lord knows that. He nudges. He gets loud when he's ready to get loud, and it's a little harder to ignore him. But I guess our prayer17:03 should be, as the saints, no matter how old we get, Lord, make me never grow numb to or, complacent. You know, beware of complacency when17:15 you are really trying to get my attention. And17:18 Mhmm.17:18 Let me lean into that quickening of the spirit, right, that I might have had those days, those early days that Cade was born. And I don't ever wanna lose that. So I think for all of us, no matter what17:30 what your journey looks like, I'm not saying you're anxiety girl or special dates mama or whatever, but whatever the journey is that God has you on, it is always an invitation for more. There's an invitation for more17:42 trust and for more resilience because that's those are the lanes that God gets all the glory. You know that those are not something that you signed up for on your own. And in the17:54 end, it usually becomes a story that you can't shut up about.17:57 I I really love that you said that it doesn't necessarily get easier. Cause I think a lot of times people will see, you know, you with a story and you've, you're, you're sharing your story and you're sharing it really18:09 well and you're encouraging people. And sometimes we do think that it gets easier the more we have opportunity to do that, but the, the drama of it and the, the risk of it, like you're18:21 saying, I've said in my life, it's like all peace and puke. Like totally know this is exactly what God is doing. I totally know his voice. There's sometimes that I18:33 want to get under the table because I don't want him to remember that I'm in line. Like would love to just sit still and thankfully and graciously he's invited me to18:45 experience him in ways that you're talking about. Like all of my list of do not do's Lord. That is literally what I do all the time. You know, I'd ask him to never send18:56 me anywhere when I, I said, here's what I'll do for you. And, you know, I just recently got back from Lebanon and Egypt, all the places that I'm like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to have, honestly, I don't19:08 want to have to depend on you in a way, Lord, that makes me scared. I don't really have to experience something that is hard for me. And, you know, I've been doing this for a long19:20 time now. I'll be 50 in March. I like to shout out to that. I mean,19:24 I know. Join the club.19:25 I would love to be so righteous and holy that I don't still have the struggle that I had 20 years ago. But I think when he invites us into that new risk, it's really encouraging to hear19:37 that we don't necessarily have to get better at it. Like, we just have to keep taking it to him because he's always faithful. Yeah. And it's not that he's always faithful in saying yes. You know,19:49 in in my experience, it was I never got married and I didn't have kids. And there was such a a pain in that and thinking the life that you're leading me to is opposite of the life that20:01 I've asked you for. But I love what he has done. And I like what you said too about not with an end date. How did you say that? Like the20:11 Yeah. Adversity without an end date.20:14 Yeah. Like, isn't that kind20:16 of the whole of the Christian life? Right? Yeah. I mean, there's an abundance, but there's also a yield and there's a sacrifice. And Christ modeled this so beautifully, right, that20:28 he20:28 Right.20:29 He would take death so that we could have life. And in many ways, we are supposed to embody that for the people he entrusts us to lead or minister or nurture or raise.20:41 The adversity though is I guess the point is, like, there's still grace just like there was grace on Christ to go not my will, but your will. I think the Lord has entrusted us through his spirit the same grace20:54 to obey and to submit to that even when it might be grueling or very difficult no depending on the what the story is or the circumstances are. And21:07 that response is everything. It's really not as much about what is happening, but how we respond to it. Right. And I like I said, like, you're acknowledging, like, I'd love to say that I'm always like, oh, super21:19 on point, you know, ready to respond appropriately.21:22 What's next?21:23 Sometimes I just kinda wanna have it out with the Lord and just cry and go, okay. I know this is something that you've allowed. This is something that you have that you're with me in. Maybe it's not Mhmm. Lifting21:35 right now. And I I mean, I again, I write this a lot in the resilience book, but, like, are you gonna lift this when Kate turned, you know, 20 in 20 20? And all of a sudden, he was spiraling21:47 when, you know, everyone else was also home because kids don't do that great like Kate on Zoom and feeling so in his body without words to understand what was going on. You know? So21:59 Yeah.21:59 That was almost took me back to year 1 mentally and how to care for him. And I just asked the Lord, are you gonna lift this 1 day in the woods? And I heard not yet, but I'll be here22:11 for as many willing walks as you need. And it wasn't the answer I wanted, but at the same point, there was a relief that came with this idea that I will never leave you or forsake you.22:23 I'll be with you in that valley of the shadow of death, and you won't fear evil and that my rod and my staff will protect you and guide you. And so I think we just need to remember that, and it's not to sound like a big22:33 downer, but it's like, you know, Jesus says, in this world, you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. So there will always be some form of contention, yet Yeah. God has still given us,22:45 like, freedom and abundance and joy even in the middle of it all. And I think that's Yeah. That's the sweetness. And so while I'm like, man, I wish it got easier, if the Lord wants22:57 my me to do something, like, tomorrow or this next summer or something, he would unite Gabe and I in that, like, call, and he would probably give it a quickening through the spirit and a sense23:09 of urgency that, wow, we can't shake this. And then also, the grace with which to say yes or the grace with which to say, this is really terrifying just like other things we've done.23:21 But for whatever reason, you are gifting us with the grace to submit or to obey. And that's that's what's so sweet about it because it's never really been23:33 about, like, I'm gonna do all these things. It's more going, I'd sense a nudge and a an invitation or maybe an open door here. And we could just go, no thanks. But for whatever reason,23:45 you it's like your spirit won't really let us, like, just let that thing drop. And maybe we all just kinda stay in that middle space until there's resolve. You know what I mean? Like23:56 Yeah. Someone once said you know, I told a friend I'd heard it, but I think maybe I he told me later, I told him. I don't remember how it originated, but but the the whisper of God is like sand in your shoe. Like, you it24:07 you cannot shake it, and it's irritating. And it, like, it kinda just it's kinda, like, rubs, like, your foot raw. You're like, I'm gonna walk with this stand. I'm gonna take this shoe off to figure out what's going24:19 on. But if it and if you're not careful, it might go away if you ignore it. And and I don't know that we wanna live with that kind of regret either. So Yeah. You know, this isn't to, like, make some big,24:31 like, 3 alarm fire, like, oh, is your life meaningful? Yeah. You know, right where you are, if the Lord is giving you peace and agency and freedom and you're trusting and depending on him every day, then you're in the24:42 center of exactly where he has you. It does also mean he might invite you to something new or something different, and he's got you there too. And that's that's the beauty of it all.24:53 Yeah. I think the difference in for me, I have to do shift it out because I'm a talker outer, Rebecca. I mean, if you're ever in Dallas and you wanna sit on the porch and talk about it, but thinking about25:05 how god entrusted me with certain things, not inflicted me. Mhmm. You know, that it was that he would see something in us. He would see something in you that he would25:16 entrust this or entrust that sand in your shoe, entrust this story and and know that you're going to glorify him in that. And that puts it like, wait, I am25:28 chosen. I'm not neglected. I'm not forgotten. There is something here. So 1 question I would ask you then is with that. And I, I under like, it makes sense that25:40 you're now you see the beauty of having Cade and how it has sparked a path in you and a calling and what you guys are doing, but how scary it would be at 26 years25:51 old to go through the trauma of physically what you went through and then thinking through just adjustment of expectations and everything. How did you have hope again? Because26:03 then you had 3 kids after that and adopted a child. And so how did you hope after such a level of disappointment?26:13 Yeah. I think it's like a daily dependency and, you know, thankfully, God is the author and finisher of our faith. He matures that throughout. So in many ways, like, that first day26:25 of Kate's life began to grow my faith in in exponential ways that maybe it hadn't really been tested. Now I had risked I went 15 hours away from home to college, but I was still in the same childhood home from, like,26:36 kindergarten of 18. And, you know, I kinda had somewhat of a sheltered life. My parents are both Christians and school teachers, and I was very involved in church. So in many ways, I was kind of protected from26:48 a lot of risk. I didn't have a ton of risk. And so I would say, you know, every venture that we make, the brain needs novelty actually to grow and to and to create and to cultivate new things. So we need26:59 new things. We need new experiences, new risks, new adventures to actually be healthy and resilient. So in many ways, I would think the Lord through Kate's life, while hard, it didn't27:11 bury me, but it it definitely had some, like, hard days for sure, but also in many ways woke me up. And I just realized there was more to life than kind of the the expected thing. And27:23 Yeah. You know? And, again, that's just the Lord's kindness to just kinda go, hey. There's more that maybe you've not noticed. It's always been around. Like, I I write about it and you are free, that first book, or maybe27:34 FreeFall. I can't remember. But, like, all of a sudden, I realized I didn't know a single person with Down syndrome. And all of a sudden, I'm now a part of this sorority of mamas that all have children with Down syndrome27:45 that I didn't even know were around me. And they were, but I just didn't pay attention to it. And so I think that's life. Right? Like, so many things that are happening in our purview, but we don't have eyes to27:57 see or ears to hear because that's not something that we've been attuned to, but God will do that for us. And so I I would just say, yes. I was scared to have another child. I didn't28:09 know my statistic because I had a false negative. So my chances of k were, like, 1 in 10000 at that age. So then I thought, well, maybe we should figure out, like, what are my risks with Pierce? And they were, like,28:21 1 in 100, so I was like, well, that's the same as having kids with twin you know, having twins, whatever. You know, like, you're like, you're just going. You just go. You just do. And then and I'm so glad that we did.28:32 And and there I think there is something about risk that, like, you just God will help you be up for it, and then you're just gonna trust. Like, again, it's just another, like And so even by our third, I28:44 was just like, I don't even wanna know what we're having. You know? Like, I don't I don't really wanna do any testing anymore because it's not like it helped me to know or not know. It was almost better to go, okay. When28:56 and and so I don't I'm not saying I'm blind. I don't I don't wanna be blind and make not, like, uninformed decisions, but I have just seen God show up in such mighty ways in the unexpected that his29:08 provision is always better than anything we could even muster up ourselves in advance. Yeah. It doesn't mean don't be prudent and a good steward, but at the same point, don't just know that you're not your29:20 savior regardless. So so that helps.29:24 Yeah. That's great.29:25 1 of the things that I think is a through line in this conversation is just the idea of risk and resilience. You've mentioned that a number of times in, like, I think about me and probably, hopefully, a lot of people29:37 like me or maybe not hopefully, but we're risk avoidant. We wanna do everything we can to minimize risk. But I love what you're saying because you're kind of, like, inviting it in in some sense or at29:49 least, you know, welcoming it or even, like, pursuing it in some sense. Like, I've never heard of someone or a couple saying, what are we gonna risk this decade? Like, that's that'sShow more In this video 0:00 A Transformative Hope Story: From Trauma to Trust10:00 Blessings in Adversity: Risks, Family, and Divine Adventure30:00 Cultivating Resilience: Practical Rules for Faithful Endurance
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