Skip to content How God Restored Our Marriage - Shayne & Sheila Pitcock’s Story Oct 7 · 1 hr 13 min ...more
How God Restored Our Marriage - Shayne & Sheila Pitcock’s Story
October 7, 2025 · 1 hr 13 min
Discover how God heals broken places and brings hope and restoration to marriage through His love.
Series Hope Talks Podcast Videos October 7, 2025 · 1 hr 13 min · Hope Talks Podcast Videos
Discover how God heals broken places and brings hope and restoration to marriage through His love. ...more Show the full description Show less Discover how God heals broken places and brings hope and restoration to marriage through His love.
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Hope for the Heart is a worldwide biblical counseling, coaching, and caregiving ministry founded by June Hunt in 1986. We’re passionate about helping people
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Journey to Unity: A Story of Healing and Restoration 0:00 We learned conflict the wrong way, and we did it the wrong way for a long time.0:03 Mhmm.0:04 But it was in that conflict and in those broken places that God began to heal us and and peel back those layers in us individually.0:13 Welcome to Hope Talks. We're your hosts. I'm Haley Scully along with Dustin Anderson, and we wanna give you every reason for hope for every challenge in life because hope means everything.0:29 Dustin, we are not alone. Nope. It is guest day, and it is our first 2 guests in the studio. It's the first time we've done that. Tell us who's here with us. Yeah.0:41 We have some friends with us today that we met through our coaching arm of Hope for the Heart, the International Christian Coaching Institute. We have Shane and Sheila Pitcock with us today. They're husband and wife0:51 Christian life coaching team. Again, they were trained, mentored, credentialed through our coaching program. And I wanted to ask, was it with the Rossbergs?0:59 No. Specifically, the first training was transformed living.1:03 Okay. With the1:04 with the Carowinds. Yeah. Gotcha. And now we're coming back around to do the Ross Perks marriage as well.1:09 Oh, awesome. Fantastic. Christian life coaching team, they founded Journey to Unity to help couples find healing and restoration in marriage. Yes.1:17 Yes.1:17 And they have their own story of overcoming personal struggles and finding unity, through Christ and pursuing God's design for marriage. And on their website, they have a message that no marriage is too far gone for1:29 God to restore. And so I remember meeting, with you. They've been at our Hope Together conference the last couple years.1:36 Every single 1.1:36 Yep. Every single 1. Every single 11:38 together. Beginning. Yes.1:40 I wanna get badges or something. Like, what's we've done? 3 years, 5 years?1:44 That's right.1:44 That would be1:45 And so I remember talking with you guys last year, I think, of just hearing your story a bit of how God had kind of really healed your marriage, in many ways. And you were just trying to figure out we have this1:57 story. We wanna share it. And you were just trying to figure out how. So I'm glad that in God's good timing, we're just able to have this opportunity today to hear it. And so, yeah, looking forward to getting into your2:08 hope story around marriage.2:10 Well, thank you so much for the opportunity because we want to ensure that this is God's message through us. It's too big for us alone to to keep it to ourselves.2:20 Yeah.2:20 And so we just have a heart to share this for those who are hurting in their relationships and don't know where to go.2:27 Yeah. That is wonderful. It sometimes, I think it's a weird system that to help other people, we have to say all of our hardest junk. Yes. But it is such a such2:39 a blessing to hear people come through the others to the other side of things that a lot of people deal with and struggle with. And so I know we will get into some of that story, but we kind of pitch2:51 every Hope Talks episode with what's your hope story. And, again, some of that may be very specifically what you were planning on talking about as far as the ministry and the the work you're particularly3:02 doing. Sometimes your hope story is, you know, the moment of salvation, which you unless you guys were saved together at church camp somewhere or something so that might not work3:13 for us.3:14 The story that you'll tell today. And and your hope story version may lead you right into to the marriage ministry and the things you're talking about. But kind of when did you and you know what? I'm gonna do it this3:26 way. I'm gonna start with you, Sheila.3:28 Okay.3:28 And then I'm gonna pitch it to you, Shane, because I think we'll get some of your collective story. But what would kind of a when did you learn to really put your hope in Christ and what it meant that3:40 our hope was in him? Yeah. What would be your intro to that?3:44 That's a little bit multifaceted for me. Mhmm. So I was raised in a Christian home. I understood that the Bible was God's word and it had answers for all of the things we face, but3:56 I it was more my parents, God, I guess is what you would say. I had a lot of rules. I had some bibles, passages, some of them out of context I've learned since, but still I knew the4:07 Lord. I just didn't know what it really meant to have grace or, you know, be a follower, those types of things. I knew how to follow the rules. Right. So as an adult, married with some kids and we4:19 had moved to a different state away from family, that was a brand new experience for me. I'd always been I was raised out in the country with all of my family around.4:27 Here in Texas or somewhere? No.4:29 In Colorado, actually. Yes. Beautiful Colorado. And so for me, we had moved to Washington state, another beautiful place, but I was away from everything that was familiar with 3 little kids and a marriage that was4:40 struggling. And God really started becoming real to me there. That's when I started noticing just his little ways of romancing me, actually. Our phone number there in4:52 Washington was 1 number different from my mom's and so it was just like God saying, you're so with family. You're4:58 so connected. Yeah. Little reminders.5:00 Yeah. Little things like that. I would I would notice flowers growing in some random place and know that God was just see he saw me.5:07 Yeah. Yeah.5:09 But truly for me that really, walkout process did happen after we moved here to Texas where I had started learning a little bit more about I was hungry to understand some of,5:20 okay,5:20 what is this trinity holy spirit part of that? Here in Texas is when I started learning that God was so much bigger than I ever thought. Everything's bigger5:31 in Texas.5:32 Isn't that the truth?5:33 I mean, you set me up for that, but everything is bigger in Texas even though Thanks for5:37 catching up, Hailey. No worries. It's perfect. But, yeah, I actually, had a a women's pastor at our church. She said, you have to get to a place where the spirit realm becomes more real than the physical. And5:49 I remember sitting there going, how do you get there? That's what I want, but how do I get there? Yeah. And God has been so faithful through our struggles. You know, when it says that the Holy Spirit is your counselor6:00 Mhmm.6:01 There6:01 is such a personal component to that, and he truly was my counselor walking me through step by step, through that process of not only who was I, how did he see me, but who was6:13 he to me personally? Yeah.6:15 Yeah. That's really good. I think a hell lot of times we have to get out of our own yard. Right?6:20 Yeah. I mean,6:21 I know for me, that was really defining my faith with him, between me and him Mhmm. Because my ties with my family were so good and so sweet, but I just Absolutely. Sometimes6:33 getting out of town can really adjust it for us. Shane, what how would you what would your take on when you learn to really6:41 Yes. It was it was through a bout of loneliness that I faced in college of all times. I went from community college to state university. So where I had6:52 some key friends at the community college, I didn't know where they were gonna end up when we all transferred to universities.6:59 Mhmm.7:00 And sure enough, I'm in this university of 16000 students, and I knew no 1. And the loneliness factor just7:10 Yeah.7:10 Weighed upon me to the point that I felt crushed with it.7:13 Yeah.7:14 And that loneliness was so real. It crumpled me to the floor. And I knew enough from the religion that I grew up in to say, you know, Jesus, if you're real,7:26 I need your help right now.7:28 Yeah.7:29 And just as much as I felt the weight of crumpling me to the floor, I felt the equal and opposite weight lifting me off the floor. So the current song that's out nowadays where he lifted me up, turned me around, and7:40 set me down on solid ground.7:42 We won't act that out7:43 right now.7:44 No. I7:44 have a space for that. Yeah.7:47 That's what I felt. And so I came to Christ through Fellowship of Christian Athletes in college.7:52 Oh, FPA. I did FCA.7:53 Absolutely and loved it and didn't have the discipleship and the biblical understanding. So I knew the relationship was baptized into that, the actual physical baptism8:05 that semester, that I didn't really get rooted in understanding the Bible. Mhmm. And so I kind of accepted Jesus as my savior, but I never really knew8:17 God as my father. And that's a different translation to understand him as your father because growing up, that was not a good example for me. Yeah. My8:29 earthly father was very demonstrative, very dictator type of person, very angry, and very much judgmental with a lot of bitterness.8:41 And that was a struggle for me to relate to God as my father. But when you get to that place at the end of yourself where there's nothing left but to cry out to God, and he sits8:52 beside you and says, I'm here for you8:54 Right.8:55 Then that changes everything. And that became my defining moment to surrender my lifestyle and seek after him.9:04 Yeah. It's the hard things that bring us to such amazing change and freedom, but it's like you get to the point where you wouldn't trade the hard because of what it does for us,9:16 which is part of the silver lining in that, the grace that comes out of that. I guess the question then too would be, what would the hope moment where in your marriage you learned9:28 to depend on the Lord as your hope? You know, those are kind of your individual stories and that when did you get to that point in your marriage?9:37 I think it was during the struggles of our marriage that we realized there was something more. Mhmm. We each had to come to that place individually to surrender9:49 and seek after him for ourselves before we could do that in the marriage. And then we were trying to bring the marriage back together and overcome a lot of the hurt and the10:01 pain and things of that nature that have developed in the marriage.10:04 Mhmm.10:05 But really, it was a matter of us continuing in that process of surrendering what we were doing in the marriage to the Lord to ask for his guidance and direction as to how we take that10:17 step.10:18 Why didn't you just walk away?10:20 We could have.10:21 Well, this my answer to that is gonna also be the answer to the question you just asked that Shane answered. Mhmm. And that is the defining moment for me was while I was kind of trying to understand the Holy Spirit,10:33 we were still there in Colorado, and there was a spirit filled church around the corner from the house that we had rented after our first separation. And I was in a women's class, and while I was there, they had us just10:45 they called it soaking. We were just sitting, worship music playing, having quiet time with the Lord. Mhmm. And he gave me a picture in my mind, which I now know is called a vision. At the time, I was like, what is this?10:57 I'd never experienced anything like that before, but it was beautiful, and it was powerful. And it was a oak tree with the the trunk was, like, 12 I mean, I couldn't put my arms11:09 around it. It was huge. And the branches were spanning out probably at least 12 feet on all around. And there was a rose hedge that was halfway under the branches of the tree and halfway not. And11:21 then, from the other side, the sun was shining through the branches of the tree. So it was this beautiful ray that landed like a spotlight in front of the rose bush. And together, all of11:32 it created this peaceful alcove, and it was beautiful. Pink roses, the beautiful oak tree, and the sun shining. And the Lord said, that's your marriage. And this was right after our first11:44 separation. This was, the darkest point. We were lost. We didn't know what to do. We just knew we were very broken. And so he he knew that I needed that promise, and I stood on that promise. I went home, first of all,11:56 and told Shane about it. God didn't give me any words to go with it. He just said that's your marriage. I told Shane, and God gave him the words, which is some will come for the shade of the tree, and some will come for12:06 the beauty of the roses. And I was like, wow, Lord. That's beautiful. That's, that's a promise that I can stand on. Then after we had moved to Texas, this was over a year later, I was telling it to a friend. And in12:17 that moment, God said, and all will see my light. So it was in the revelation of that that it was never about the rose tree or the rose hedge or the oak tree. It was about creating a12:29 safe place for others to experience his light. Mhmm. And even in our brokenness, even in our struggle to find our way out of that, people would come to us and our story12:41 would give them hope.12:42 Yeah.12:45 And so it though that was a defining moment for me where I knew God was in our marriage. He gave me a promise to stand on, and then he taught me to stand and declare and, you know, fight and intercede and12:57 all those things that became part of that process of walking out, but he knew I needed that promise to stand on.13:03 Amen. And it was that promise that I was able to stand on too because I didn't wanna give up what God had given as a vision. And a lot of times, it was her standing on that promise that gave me13:15 the strength to also stand on that promise. Because it wasn't a vision he gave to me. He gives me words. He gives me patterns of words. He gives me ways in which you change 1 perspective13:27 of the word. I'm not gonna believe it when I see it. I'm gonna believe it until I see it. You change 1 word and your whole perspective changes. That's what he does for me, which gave the words to the picture, which13:39 we've been trying to continue to facilitate the opportunity for the Lord to just be glorified Yeah. In in that vision.13:49 Yeah. I wanted to back up a little bit and ask how like, the the beginnings of your marriage and kind of how you met and some of your expectations going into it. Because I know14:01 expectations in marriage, there's there's a there's a lot of problems that can go awry there. But also just hearing both of your stories, it kinda sounded like both of you had a basic, maybe, understanding14:12 of of God and and Jesus growing up, but it wasn't actually until later in life that you really came to know the Lord and study. So I'm wondering just when you guys met, were you both14:24 believers at that time? And just how did that play out? Just what were some what was kind of the beginning of your relationship and expectations going in?14:33 Well, we'll tell the story and you be the judge of whether we were believers at that time or not. Okay? We said we were. Yes. Shane and I actually met country dancing. And Oh,14:45 fun. Yeah. And I joke with the Lord. I said, God, you knew you had to send them to a bar because it's the only place I was going at the time.14:53 I had the same story. You know, he's gonna have to bring them to me because I'm not showing up anywhere else. Yeah.15:00 So I was raised in a religion, but I seriously rebelled against the strong legalistic structure, because I didn't have the relationship. And, you know, Shane came to know the Lord through15:11 relationship. I had all the scriptures and that thou shalt do this and not do that, mostly not do that. And Shane had this relationship with the Lord that I didn't have. And so when we met,15:24 he would I would get so frustrated because he would say he would question something about my faith, and I'd be like, well, that's just how it is. Well, he wanted me to, like, explain to him why do you believe it that15:35 way, and I couldn't answer him.15:38 Yeah.15:38 The church leadership had always defined those things for us and what that looked like. So I kept telling him, he just needs to go talk to the church leaders, and they would explain it. And he's like, no. I wanna know15:47 what it means to you. So Yeah. Even in that and in our dating weeks15:54 Right. Because it was a pretty, It was fast. It was a fast trip.15:58 We met and got married within 5 months. Okay. Wow. Absolutely. So the engagement was 4 months of that. I proposed 2 weeks after we met. That was pretty much it.16:09 Okay.16:10 Well, praise the Lord.16:11 We say to this day that if we had not gotten married early and fast and we found out about each other in advance, we probably never would have gotten married.16:21 Because then you know too much. Because we16:22 knew it'd know too much, and we wouldn't know how much we would have to overcome16:26 Yeah.16:26 To stay married. Yeah. That's the key.16:29 And I had never experienced conflict, in like, I didn't know married people thought, honestly. I didn't know that. And so when if we had started having a lot of conflict16:41 before we were married, I would not have had the skills or I probably would have just run. But in the way that God lined it all out, the beauty of that was I16:52 learned how to have, you know, I I mean, we learned conflict the wrong way, and we did it the wrong way for a long time.16:58 Mhmm.16:59 But it was in that conflict and in those broken places that God began to heal us and and peel back those layers in us individually. Mhmm.17:07 That's awesome.17:08 From the moment we met, it was, to me, a revelation from the Lord saying that's your wife. I mean, we were at a birthday party in the middle of the week at a country western bar. Yes.17:20 But the birthday party was the reason for being there. And she wouldn't have shown up to this particular location had it not been for the birthday party. Yeah. And I showed up early, as I often do.17:33 Hats off to you. I am not that kind of girl.17:35 Sheila showed up on time as she often does after the fact.17:41 Country and Colorado time. Okay. Yeah. Show up. Yeah.17:45 And when she walked in the door, the Lord just said, that's your wife.17:49 Mhmm.17:50 And I can't explain it to this day, but I I know I heard that in my spirit that that was the case.17:56 You know, that's 1 of the things that I think sometimes we say visions and we talk about18:03 Mhmm.18:03 A word from the Lord. And, you know, I grew up in a I loved my church growing up, but it would be considered kind of a here's your right and wrong list. Don't do this and18:15 do that. And I think sometimes when we hear people use words like that, it can be a little bit disconcerting because we don't exactly know what that18:27 means or maybe we haven't experienced it. As I got older, I've definitely had those moments where the lord where undoubtedly, I knew his voice. Now sometimes I don't share that everywhere18:39 because sometimes that can be confusing to people. Right. Right. I think what I've learned to understand is it never being our job necessarily to convince people18:50 of a vision or an understanding or a it sometimes it's just a a a leading. We know God's really calling me to do this or, you know, I I feel very certain I'm supposed19:02 to do this. Like, Dustin and I both had opportunity to do seminary. You don't just sign up for that.19:07 Mhmm.19:07 You know? Like, you gotta feel like someone's telling you to do that. I mean, I was 31 and, ugh, I won't go back into all of that. But I think what I have come to in my19:19 bent toward legalism and stretching for grace19:25 Mhmm.19:25 Is what is the fruit? What is the fruit of that time in your life when you were hurting and seeking God, and you saw that in your mind19:37 and that helped to hold you firm for a long time. And God says, when we are seeking him, he will be found by us. Mhmm. And so I think that looking at the fruit, that made you19:49 steadfast and patient and forgiving. Yeah. And you even holding on to that vision and the word that you received, you know, that came to mind. We know when we accept Christ as our20:01 savior, the promised Holy Spirit comes into us and reminds us of what he has taught us through his word. And so it it shouldn't necessarily be a surprise20:13 that we hear his promptings because he's there.20:16 Right.20:16 But then look at the fruit of that. And the fruit is your marriage that has continued together and growing together and now starting a ministry and serving others. So I know there have been20:28 times in my life where, like I said, I've had a a moment of really what I would say is kind of a supernatural time with the Lord that then set me on a path20:40 that, you know, I'm not gonna convince you of this Mhmm. But look at what God has done.20:46 Absolutely. So20:47 Yes. Absolutely. Really appreciate your testimony. I think as we lean into remembering who does God say he is Mhmm. Who do we not ex it's not about who we expect him to20:59 be. Mhmm. But you were broken and hurting in that moment, and he met you there. And now just being together here today is part of the fruit of that. Yes.21:08 So21:08 We're now able to celebrate 33 years of marriage.21:11 33 years. That's a long time.21:13 Yes.21:13 Yeah. That is incredible.21:16 And we do celebrate now. There were years21:17 we celebrate. This is true.21:19 Sometimes we just gotta be still. We don't got nothing good to say.21:23 Right. Exactly. Promise. Right? Hailey, I do appreciate you, though, drawing that distinction because we can get comfortable using those words that feel at 1 time felt foreign to21:34 me as well. Mhmm. And I'm I always try to be cautious with that instead of, you know, like I said, it it I had a picture in my mind, that I believe came from the Lord, and you're absolutely right. He's not going to lead21:46 us down a path that doesn't line up with his word. Right. And other if you have other wise people in your life that bring godly counsel and those types of things, you always wanna measure those types of things against21:58 the word and who god is and wise counsel, those types of things. So thanks for bringing that component to it that22:04 follows it. Absolutely. Thanks for thanks for sharing it.22:07 Mhmm. Couple more questions I wanted to get into because what you provided me, there was there was something about traveling in a trailer for a little while, so I wanted to get into that. But just22:17 Yeah. Define that story. Yeah. I with you22:20 put it out there.22:20 That's just22:21 all you know. Did you have22:22 that? We're gonna need the trailer story.Show more In this video 0:00 Journey to Unity: A Story of Healing and Restoration
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