Skip to content How To Be A Real Father _ Tyler Gaulden Jun 24 · 45 min ...more
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Unspeakable Joy with Tyler Gaulden is fulfilling the Great Commission by using every platform to proclaim the Gospel and bring the light of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth.
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The Father Crisis: Boys in Men's Bodies 0:00 I wanna give to you a message out of the book of Genesis chapter 2 and verse number 24 on that word father.0:13 If you are prone to get uncomfortable, you're faking to be very uncomfortable. But brothers and sisters, we have a problem0:25 in our land, and it is a father problem. We have men that have the look of men, but they're a bunch of0:37 little boys. We are filled in a land of men that have gone through the process of a physical change to manhood,0:49 but emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and actually, their children. We have a land right now that is full of1:01 people that have got the look of 40 year olds, but my 12 year old son has more maturity than the vast majority of1:12 men in our nation. We have a problem. And ladies, I'll hammer you 1 day, but today you can sit back.1:25 The book of Genesis chapter 2 in verse number 24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother1:37 and shall cleave unto his wife, and they too shall be 1 flesh. Therefore, shall a1:49 man leave his father and his mother. Therefore shall a man leave his father and2:01 mother. Genesis is the seed plot of the Bible. In the book of Genesis, you have the garden of all things. Every word, every theme,2:13 every melody, every idea, it is going to spring forth out of the soil of the book of Genesis. Here in chapter number 2, God has brought us from2:25 chapter 1, which is a a 7 47 view of the creation process. And God, he tightens down the microscope just a bit in chapter number 2, and he gives to us a more2:37 detailed view of what happened during the 7 actual days of creation. He comes down to the sixth day of creation, and he says on that day, he2:49 said, I'm gonna do something special on that day. He said, I'm gonna do something on that day that I've wanted to do since eternity passed. And the Bible says that he reaches down into3:01 the soil and he pulls out a handful of dirt. He takes that dirt and the Bible says he formed man. The Bible doesn't tell us in3:12 Genesis how he formed man, but we get a glimpse of it in the life of the Lord Jesus. Whenever Jesus gives sight to the blind man, he reaches in the dirt and then he spits into3:24 that dirt and forms a putty putting it over the man's eye. That's what happened in Genesis chapter number 2. When God formed man, He formed man of the dust of the ground3:36 and then He spat into His hand and He formed man and He lay upon the ground and God said, I'm not done for I will make this man in my own image.3:48 God is not a man like you and I. He doesn't have hands like us and feet like us and arms like us for God is a spirit and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit3:59 and in truth. Therefore, the image of God is not in what that man looked like, it is in what that man possessed. He said, now I shall breathe into his4:11 nostrils the breath of life and the thing that will separate me and you from the dog and from the whale and from the the hoot owl and the little4:23 turtle that crosses the road is the fact that we have in us the breath of God. Life in humanity comes from the God of heaven, but4:35 man would fall in Genesis chapter number 3 and the spirit man within would die having to now be rebirthed in the new birth.4:47 But before that he does that, he looks at Adam and says, wait a second. Something's not right. He said, I'm seeing over there 2 dogs, and I'm seeing over there 2 tigers, and I see right there 2 horses,4:58 and I see right there 2 cows, but man is alone. It is not good for man to be alone and God calls the deep sleep to fall upon that man. And while that5:10 man was asleep, he opened his side and God took from the man a rib and formed the woman and he brought the woman to the man. And he said to the man, he5:22 said, man, this is woman and woman, this is man. And he gives this command, therefore shall a man leave his father5:35 and mother. We see the first time the word father is used, but it will not be the last time it's used. That5:47 word father is used 1500 times in the Bible. Brothers and sisters that may not impress you, but when you compare it to other words in the Bible, you're gonna see5:59 how important God is or the importance God's placing on a father. And the word father is used 1500 times compared to this. The word mother is only used 300 times.6:12 The word deliver is only used 600 times. Are you ready? The word Jesus is only used 900 times. But the word father is6:24 used 1500 times. God was trying to expose and open our hearts to how important the role of6:35 a daddy is. Well, we have a problem. The first thing that I want you to write down, there are 2 truths that we get from that word father there in6:47 Genesis chapter number 2, what I would call that law of first mentions. What is God trying to show us? Number 1, he's trying to show us that the idea of a father is6:59 ingrained into humanity. Can I ask you a question? Who did he speak that to? Adam and? They didn't have a daddy.7:12 They didn't have a mother. But yet he looks at the first man formed by God and he says therefore shall a man leave his father7:24 and but yet Adam never said no. Excuse me. What's a father? Why didn't he have to ask that?7:36 Because his creator put it on the inside of who he was. There was something that had been written down in the heart of7:48 humanity that said it is normal for you to have a father and a mother. You see on the the soul of every human heart8:00 there is a puzzle piece that goes there and it says father. And what God intended in his creation process was for that hole to be filled by8:11 a loving father. And you and I don't even understand the vast majority of people that have never had a real relationship with their father not8:23 because they did not want to but because that daddy was not there or that daddy was not pregnant and now or present and now that hole is in your heart and you don't realize that8:35 it's a father issue, you think it's a self esteem issue. No, no, no, no. It's not a self esteem issue. God intended for that thing to be filled by your father. You think that you've got8:47 a problem connecting to people. No. No. It's not a connection problem. There's a gaping hole there because God intended your father to give you that kind of connection. You can't8:58 express your love. You can't express your affection. You can't express how you feel about people and you think you know what? I guess that's just no no no. You had a cold father or an absent father in your life and God9:08 said I intended for that absent father in your life and God said I intended for that hole to be filled by your father. You see God, he put that down in the heart of9:20 humanity. So let me just explain to the single fellas that are in the house. Just because you can get a girl pregnant doesn't mean you're ready to be a father. You need to know and understand.9:33 There's a whole lot more in this process than just being a part of the process. God's looking for fathers. A father. We are living in9:44 a generation of boys and God put in the heart the need for a father. It's not just ingrained, but9:56 when he said, therefore shall a man leave his father, the term father is also emblematic. The fact that a man is a father10:08 means that he gave and now has a child. The child didn't just happen. A father and mother are a father and10:20 mother because they gave. You see, that is what God intends for fathers to be givers.10:32 That's what God intends for men to be givers. That's why God put inside of a man's heart the desire to work and to10:44 labor. God made men to be givers. God did not intend for women to be givers, He intended for women to be nurturers. God10:55 intended men to be givers. That's the reason He called them a father. You don't just get the title of a father because you picked it out of a pot somewhere. You are a father11:07 because you have a child. But yet we live in a culture where men are not taught to be givers, they're taught to11:19 be takers. It's not about what can you give it's about what can I get? And11:31 now we're taught in our schools and we're teaching our young men, you use what you need in order to get where you want to go. And that's why young11:43 men use their parents, they use their co workers. The children are not a gift that they are11:54 to give to, they're just a piece of the proverbial puzzle. And now we've got a generation of takers that are leading our nation and now we've got a generation of takers12:07 that are leading our churches. We're not being led by men, we're being led by boys and that's why they're never satisfied. That's why they're never going on. That's12:18 why they are always I'm thinking to hit it real hard in just a second. You need to understand, we are living in a generation that is completely lopsided12:31 because emblematic of a father is the desire to be a giver. We have a problem. We have a twofold problem in our land.12:43 Number 1, we have a problem with absentee fathers. Men that just ain't there. Men that they had a child and I'll see you every third or12:55 fourth weekend. I'll see you at Christmas and I'll I'll see you at Thanksgiving and and and I I may show up or I may be busy. We've got an absentee13:08 father deal. Some of you have had daughters that married these men that were sorrier than a sack of sin and now you are having to deal with the repercussions. And these poor little13:20 children, they all feel 1 way. Why am I not good enough for daddy not to be around? We have a problem. We don't just have a problem with13:32 absentee fathering. We have a problem with an attachment with fathers. Just because you're there, men, doesn't mean you're all there.13:45 Just because you're in the house doesn't mean you're taking part in this whole thing. We have a problem.13:57 Fatherlessness in America is an epidemic, pandemic and anything else you wanna say. Let me give you some statistics about fatherlessness in America.14:09 In 20 22, a survey was conducted and it said there are 18300000.0 children that live in single parent homes in America.14:21 That's enough children to fill up New York City 2 times and Los Angeles 4 times. We have a problem. About 80 percent of single parent homes14:33 are led by single mothers. We have a problem. 57.6 percent of black children, 31.2 percent of Hispanic children,14:44 20.7 percent of white children are living absent of their biological fathers. We have a problem. Children from single parent families are twice as likely to14:56 suffer from mental health and behavioral issues as those living with married parents. We have a problem. In 1 study, 70 percent of youth in state operated facilities were15:08 from single parent homes. We have a problem. In the United States, we have the highest rate globally of children living in single parent15:19 households. There are over 23 percent of children living with 1 parent and no other adults in the house. Put this in perspective. In China, it's 3 percent15:32 and in India it's 4 percent. We have a problem. According to 72 percent of the United States population,15:44 fatherlessness is the most significant family or social problem facing America. We have a problem. Men, it's not the state's15:56 job to raise your children. We have a problem. Men, it's not the church's job to raise your children. We have got a problem. It is not the teacher's16:08 job down at the schoolhouse to raise your children. We have got a serious problem and men, it's not your wife's job to raise your children.16:20 We have got a serious problem. But yet today, I didn't come to tell you about a serious problem. I came to give you a serious solution because God16:32 says I created this office and this path and this product to do what I called it to do. What then is a good father? Whenever somebody says16:44 what a good dad really is, what is a good dad? I'm gonna give you 3 things that God is asking a father to be in order to be a good dad from this passage.Invest in Your Legacy: Build Champions 16:56 Number 1, a father invests in his legacy. A father invests in17:08 his legacy. Where do I get that from? Watch what God told Adam. You ready? Look at that verse again, verse 24. Therefore shall17:22 a man leave his father and mother. It didn't say therefore shall a child leave his father and mother.17:34 Therefore shall a man leave his father and wait a second. When that baby's born is it born a man?17:46 Praise God, I hope not. He's born a child, but he grows to become a man. Now can I show you17:58 something in verse number 23? Verse 23, Adam said this is now bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh,18:11 she shall be called woman because she was taken out of what's the word? Man. Wait a second. What strikes you about that word man?18:24 It's capitalized. It's a title. It's an identifying mark. Being a man wasn't just about being just a18:36 anatomical male. There was a character that went with being a man. There was a characteristic of what identified Adam18:47 as a man. When you study the Hebrew word for man, do you know what the word actually means in the Hebrew? It literally means a champion or a warrior. Now18:59 wait a second, when that baby is born he is a child, but as he grows up, watch this, his identity was to mirror the identity19:11 of the 1 that gave him life. God said, you are Adam to instill into that boy what I have instilled into you. I made you to19:23 be a champion, but you were just made that way, but he will be born a child. You are gonna have to invest in that boy. You're gonna have to teach19:35 that child how to become a champion, how to become a warrior. Brothers and sisters, I heard a story 1 time about this boy that was taken before a court judge. He had19:47 committed a crime and whenever he was brought before that court judge, the judge looked at his name and said, wait a second son, is your father so and so? He said, yes sir, judge, that's my19:59 father. He said, I know your father. Your father's a good man. How did in the world did your father, a good man, have you end up here? How did you end up with20:11 those charges? He said, I don't know, judge. He said, isn't your father the 1 that wrote that incredibly famous book, The Laws of Truth? He said, yes, sir. He is.20:23 He said, well, would you please explain to me then how your father could be the epitome and know all about law, but you end up here? He20:35 said, did you never talk to your father about law? Did you never talk to your dad about courts and crime and what it would cost? He said, well, I tried. He said,20:47 what do you mean you tried? He said, well, I can remember walking into my dad saying, dad, I wanna ask you a question. My dad would say, not now, son. I'm finishing this book. Then I would go to him the20:59 next day and I would say, dad, can I can I ask you a question? Would you like to go outside and and play ball? My dad would say, not now, son. I'm trying to finish this book.21:12 He said, finally, as a young man, I went to him and said, dad, I wanna know something. I've got some friends that are wanting me in the. My father stuck his hand up in my face and said, not now, son. I'm finishing21:25 this book. He looked at the judge and he said, your honor, my dad finished the book, but he lost his son.21:37 God is calling men to make and build other men. Is it any wonder in our land why it is that over the last 5 to 1021:49 years we have a vast jump in people that think they're a man or think that they're a woman. You and I are sitting back saying how can they be so this or that when they have never been22:01 raised by a father, a dad has never instilled into them, has never taught them anything, has never explained to them that they were created in the image of a high and a holy God. I want22:13 you to write this down. You may leave an inheritance, but that's not a legacy. An inheritance is what you leave for your children. A22:25 legacy is what you leave in your children. A legacy is something that must be taught and caught.22:37 A legacy is what God is asking men to do. Brother Tyler, how do I leave a legacy? In the book of Matthew chapter number 3, the Lord22:48 Jesus is at the river Jordan baptizing and the heavens open up and the dove descends out of the heavens and the Bible says and God the father said, this is my beloved son23:00 in whom I am well pleased. Hear ye him. The first time in the New Testament God speaks, He is commending his son. Here23:12 are 3 things. I'm gonna put them up on the screen for you. Here are 3 things every father needs to say to their children every single day. Number23:24 1, here it is. I'm glad you're my child. Number 2, I23:36 love you. Number 3, I am proud of you. Keep them up there for a second fellas. Write those down boys.23:49 Every day look your child in the eyeballs and say, I want you to know I'm glad God gave you to me. Brothers and sisters, God has blessed me. He has opened up24:00 doors I never could have dreamed of. I never dreamed that I would preach in front of thousands of people. I never dreamed I would get to pastor a church like this. I never dreamed that God would open up doors and he24:12 would allow me to meet the people that he allows me to meet. But every time I come home, I try to find my child, my son, and my daughter and I look at them and I say, I want you to24:23 know as I have crossed this world and been around this nation, if I could have picked any other child in this nation, I would have still chosen you both ever. I'm glad that24:35 you belong to me. Is there a reason why children don't know where they belong? Because they have never felt like they belong anywhere. And let me just stop, clear me off a little spot24:47 and say to our teenagers of all the churches in this nation that you could have gone to, I'm glad you come to this church. I'm glad you're a part of this place. Every college student,24:59 I'm glad you've chosen this assembly. You belong in the house of God. The second thing you need to say to your children, I love you. I love you.25:11 Let me just stop and say this, I'm gonna have to buy me new shoes as many spots as I'm a clearing off. But fellas, if you're too big and bad and hard to look your children and your wife in25:23 the eyeballs and let him know that they mean something to you and you love them. You are too big and bad to do anything and you my friend need to repent before a25:34 holy God because the God of heaven, the big, omnipotent, powerful God of heaven was bigger than you're ever gonna be. And this is what he said, for God so.25:47 If God can say I love you, so can you. Number 3, you need to look at your children and say, I'm proud of you.26:00 1 reason why our kids constantly spin their wheels is they're trying to catch traction somewhere and maybe their daddy will notice them.26:13 Maybe their father will pay attention. I heard the story about a little boy who went up to his father and he said, Daddy, how much do you make an hour? He said, Well, son, that's an odd question. What do you mean how26:25 much do I make an hour? He said, Daddy, how much do you charge all these customers for an hour of work? He said, son, I'm I I charge about 85 dollars an hour, and little boy pulled out of pocket26:37 full of change. And he said, would you give me just 30 minutes? Don't lose your own26:48 soul trying to gain the world because a real father invests in his legacy. Number 2, a real father27:00 doesn't just invest in his legacy. I'm thinking to hit something hard right now. Let me make sure my shoes are cleared off on a Sunday morning in the house of God. Number 2,Love Your Woman: Equal Footing 27:13 a real father loves his woman. Amen. A real father loves the woman that God's put in his life. Can I show27:25 you something? You ready? Genesis chapter 2 verse number 24. Therefore shall a man leave his father27:37 and mother. Do you see that phrase and? I want you to circle that word and. I looked it up in my Hebrew concordance last night again just to make sure that27:49 I wasn't off balance. Do you know what that Hebrew word and means? It means connecting 2 things that are on equal footing. Connecting 2 things that are standing side28:00 by side. And here is what God was trying to instill into Adam. Whenever you have children make sure that your children know that it's not you standing in front28:12 of their mother or you standing behind their mother. But you have pulled their mother up alongside of you and you are taking care of her and she is side by side.28:24 And in chapter number 3, is it strange to anybody else that man fell in the garden when Eve was by herself? When they weren't28:36 standing shoulder to shoulder is when it all fell apart. Write this down and never forget this. Sir, the greatest thing you can do for your children is28:48 love their mother. And ma'am, the greatest thing you can do for your children is love their father because God has ingrained it29:00 in the heart of humanity. Children are not taught by what they read. They're taught by what they see.29:12 If you cannot love them, you will never see them love them. Old preacher Clovis,29:24 Custer said this. He said, I heard the story on the Mississippi River there were 2 paddle boats. And these 2 paddle boats day after day went side by side. You know, paddle29:36 boats were were powered by big steam boilers. And these big old steam boilers, they they they would put fuel inside of them. They would burn, they would put off steam, and they would roll on down29:48 the the the river. I know some of you know Tina Turner, so don't put all that together. I got halfway through that sentence, baby doll, and I thought about Tina Turner singing Rolling On Down the River. I don't know if29:59 she sings that or not. What was that you were listening to last night? I can't remember. I30:11 Let me start this story over. Clovis Custer was telling was telling the story about these 2 paddle boats that would race down the river. These paddle boats, what30:23 they would do is they would haul cargo down the river down into New Orleans and they would unload it in New Orleans, they would pick up more, and then they would go back up the Mississippi River. 1 time these 230:34 paddle boats got into such a competition, what they did is they started figuring out who could get down the river fastest. And so the 1 boat captain realized he carried coal on board30:46 his. That was his cargo. So what he did is he said, you know what? I'll throw extra coal inside the the furnace. We'll get down there faster. So, man, they were just shoveling that30:58 entire load of coal that they were supposed to be carrying, and they and then they got to moving. Well, the other captain realized what they had done, and they would carry furniture. And so what they did is they broke31:08 apart the furniture that was cargo, and they threw it in the boiler in order to get more and, man, these 2 boats were going down the river. And finally, they got to the end of the river. And the 1 beat the31:20 other, and he stood up. He said, we won. We won. And the harbor master looked at him. He said, what did you win? He said, we beat him down the river. And the harbor master looked and said, yeah, but you lost your cargo.31:34 You can run your engines at full steam ahead, but if you lose the cargo God's entrusted to you, what have you gained? Sir, you can gain the whole world, but31:46 if you don't love your baby's mama, what have you gained? Sir, if if if if your children only see you yell at their mama and and holler31:58 at their mama, if if man your kids only see you berate your husband and nag your husband and constantly put him down? What have you taught them?32:10 An old preacher said this, it'll change the way you treat your spouse when you realize who's watching you is who will raise your grandchildren.32:23 Never forget, you are displaying to your children what they will display to your grandchildren. But a real father, He32:35 loves the woman that God has placed into his life. But number 4, fourth and finally, a real Or third and finally rather, a real father.32:48 He doesn't just invest in his legacy and love the woman, but number 3, a real father overcomes his issues. A real fatherShow more In this video 0:00 The Father Crisis: Boys in Men's Bodies16:51 Invest in Your Legacy: Build Champions27:13 Love Your Woman: Equal Footing32:58 Overcome Issues: Seize Second Chances
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