Skip to content Hurt People, Hurt People _ Tyler Gaulden May 17 · 47 min ...more
Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Support this leader
Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Give
Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
75.6K followers
Unspeakable Joy with Tyler Gaulden is fulfilling the Great Commission by using every platform to proclaim the Gospel and bring the light of Jesus Christ to the ends of the earth.
75.6K followers
Comments No comments yet. Start the conversation.
Hurt People Hurt People: David's Example 0:00 I wanna talk to you this morning on how to hurt without hurting others. How can you be in pain without bringing pain to others? It's0:11 been said, hurt people hurt people. Hurting people will bring hurt to other people. You0:23 get a wounded dog and you go to pick that dog up, what's that dog probably gonna do to you? Gonna bite you. You get a cat bound for an eternal hell, what's that cat gonna do to0:35 you? It's gonna scratch a fire out of you. If you're a cat person, we all have problems, we'll pray for you. Okay. I don't know what to tell you. Now,0:47 unfortunately, you come into a place like this and man, people are excited and the choir's a blessing, the singing's a blessing, the the teachers are a blessing, just people everywhere and you get this0:59 idea that everybody's got it together. Unfortunately, beside you and in front of you and probably behind you, there is a hurting1:11 person. This morning, I cannot make your hurt better. But I can give you some tools this morning from the life of king David1:24 on how you can hurt without hurting other people. First King or First Second Samuel chapter 16 verse number 5,1:35 the sixteenth chapter, the fifth verse.1:49 The sixteenth chapter, the fifth verse. And when King David came to Bahurim, behold, thence came out a man of the family, the house of Saul,2:01 whose name was Shimei, the son of Gera. He came forth and cursed still as he came. And as he cast stones at David and in all2:12 the servants of king David and all the people and all the mighty men were on his right hand and on his left. You know what that means? That means that he's got people left right. He's got2:24 people all around him. But watch what happens in verse 7. And thus said Shimei when he cursed, come out come out, thou bloody man, thou man of Belial.2:37 The Lord hath returned upon thee all the blood of the house of Saul in whose stead thou has reigned, and the Lord hath delivered the kingdom into the hand of Absalom, thy son.2:48 Behold, thou art taken in thy mischief because thou art a bloody man. Then said Abishai, the son of Zeruiah, unto the king, why should this dead3:00 dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head. Watch what King David does. The king said,3:12 what have I to do with thee, ye sons of Zaria? So let him curse. Because the Lord hath said unto him, curse David. Who shall then say, wherefore hast thou done3:24 so? David said to Abishai and all his servants, behold my son, which came forth from my bow, seek with my life. How much more now shall this Benjamite do it?3:36 Let alone let him curse for the Lord hath bidden him. It may be that the Lord will look on mine affliction, and the Lord will3:48 require me good for his cursing all this day. Brothers and sisters, this morning, we come into the apex of the4:00 judgment of God on the life of King David. You remember what God told through the prophet Nathan in the sin of Bathsheba. He said, David, because you have brought blood and death4:11 upon the life of Uriah, the sword will never depart from your house. David is now walking in the height of the judgment of God. His own4:23 son, Absalom, has rebelled against him. He's brought the rebellion to a way. Now David and all of his mighty men have to get up out of Jerusalem4:36 and make their way down the Kidron Valley, up and over the Mount of Olives, come down the Mount of Olives on the side of Bethany. And as they make their way down into the Jordan Valley, here is this broken,4:47 dejected, heart shattered man named David whose own flesh and blood has stabbed him in the back. And he's walking out to a city, and he gets to this place called Bahurim.4:59 And he gets there, and out comes an old foe, the family of king Saul. And he goes by this man and this man from the family of king Saul, this man5:11 named Shimei does 4 things. The Bible says, number 1, he curses David. Number 2, he mocks David's person and says, you deserve5:23 everything coming to you. Number 3, he picks up rocks and throws it at King David. And then number 4, he starts kicking up the dust all around king5:35 David. What does David do? I'm a tell you what I'd have done. I'd looked at the mighty men on my right side, and I looked at the mighty men on my left side and said, sick5:47 them, baby. But David looks and says, do nothing. Don't touch him.6:00 Here is a man trying to hurt a man that's even more hurt and David has all the power in his hand to bring hurt to him. But what does he do? This hurting man hurts6:11 without hurting other people. All across our lives, we deal with hurt and brokenness day after day.6:23 Families that go through brokenness and what do they do? They don't suffer in silence, but they have those passive aggressive moments where they take out their sorrow and their brokenness on other6:35 people. People that are alcoholics, people that are drug addicts, people that are addicted to all types of things, down deep in the inside of their soul, they're broken and shattered. And what do they6:47 do? They end up through their own addiction bringing hurt and harm. Hurting people always hurt other people if they're not careful. Let me give you 3 things6:58 about hurting. And I I've had about 7 people say to me, I feel like you're preaching right at me. I'm not meaning to. I'm just trying to.7:10 Too many times, preachers preach on things that nobody cares about. At the end of the day, if you don't go into the presence of God and walk out with healing, have you actually been in the presence of7:22 a life giving God? I'm not here to pump my ego. I got enough people telling me on TikTok where to go. Say amen right there. I ain't worried about that. But if you7:34 leave out of this place not knowing that you've been in the presence of a god that can heal the broken heart, what good are we, and what have we accomplished? Let me give you 3 truths that I can7:46 imagine. You go eat up like dog food. Number 1. The first thing you gotta understand about hurt, hurt is a consequence of living in a sin cursed7:58 earth. You know why you and I go through pain? We're in a pain filled world. You know why you and I go through brokenness? We're in a broken world. Do you know why you and I go through heartbreak? We're in a8:09 brokenhearted world. Do you know why you and I deal with division? We live in a divided world. This is the world we live in. What did our Lord say in the Garden of Eden? He8:21 says, in the day you sin, you will surely die. Boy, Adam and Eve thought they had gotten out of it that day when their bodies did not drop dead. What they did not realize is the Lord8:33 was not talking about sudden death. Physically, He was talking about a slow dying death. You say I didn't do anything to deserve what I went8:45 through. Indirectly or directly, you may not, but you and I live in a broken sorrow filled world. There are not a single 1 of us to8:57 have a perfect life, not a single 1 of us to have a perfect existence. And if you are perfect, you better live in a bubble, baby, because ain't nobody else around you gonna be9:08 perfect. Hurt is a consequence of living in a sin cursed world. Number 2. The second thing that you need to understand9:20 is although we live in a sin cursed world and I can't help the fact that I get hurt, I can make a choice not to hurt other9:32 people. Hurting people is a choice. How do I know? Well, King David is walking down that pathway of sorrow and dustiness and9:44 dryness and Shimei comes out. And David's got 1 of 2 choices. He can tell the men to kill him or he can keep his mouth closed and keep his heart open and let God9:55 deal with what is going on. I do not have a choice what is done to me, but you and I have a choice in what we do to other people. I can't help what my10:07 father did to me. You can't help what your mother did to you. You can't control when your wife or husband walked out. You may not be able to fathom when your kids threw the peace10:19 sign at you and said I'm gone. You can't control other people, but you can control you. Boy, we love living in an excuse10:31 filled world. Why did you do that? Well, I'll tell you. If you'd only know what they no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Hurting other people is10:44 a choice. David made the choice that day to give it to God. Hurting other people is a10:56 chore. Let me put it to you. I can feel that jar. There's a little tension. There's and I'm practicing for when I get my farm 1 day. And they say when you hit roots and rocks, you gotta back up and hit it again11:08 on that massive fir and I'm gonna find me a massive Ferguson tractor, by the way. I've been studying this whole situation. And so I felt a little resistance on that push right there. Let me say it to you in a little bit11:18 plainer English. They might smart off at you. That don't mean you got to smart off at them. They may lie about you, but that don't mean you got to lie about them. They may be rude to11:30 you, but that doesn't mean you've got to be rude back to them. They may say that you're useless. That doesn't mean that you fabricate and say things to them. They may belittle you. That doesn't mean you belittle them.11:42 Your daddy, he abused you when he was drunk. That doesn't mean that you have to go and abuse somebody else just because you do that. Ladies and gentlemen, everything we do in life is11:54 a choice. Well, I wouldn't have smarted off Adam if such and such. Tyler, you shouldn't have smarted off12:06 Adam even with such and such because hurting other people is a choice. The problem is not what's been done to us. The problem with old Tyler12:18 is old Tyler. And it don't make me come sit in your lap and look at you in the eyeballs and say you're the problem either. You and I are our own12:30 worst enemy. Hurting other people is a choice. You know, the only reason why Shimei lived that day was the choice of12:42 David. Number 3. You say, why do people hurt? Well, they don't understand lesson 3. You know what we don't understand? Hurting other people12:54 is not a cure. Hurting other people is not gonna cure anything. King David could have looked at Shimei13:06 in the eyeballs, drawn his own sword out, stuck him in the gut like he was gutting a deer. Shimei could've died dead and the curse would've stopped right there. But guess what? Absalom's still back in13:18 Jerusalem. He could've killed Shimei but Absalom is still sitting on the throne. You know, you can holler at your own kids, but it ain't gonna13:30 fix how your daddy hollered at you. You know, you can lie on so and so, but it ain't gonna change the lies that were told on you. You can treat13:42 your spouse like dirt, but it's not gonna change what your ex spouse did because hurting others is not gonna cure anything. I13:53 love southern people. I've grown up in the south. Southern people have got prescriptions for everything. You know doing14:05 that ain't gonna make anything better. Yeah. But it'll make me feel better. Unfortunately, it won't. Well, I'll just tell them14:17 often, and I'll feel better about14:33 Pavarotti, Luciano Pavarotti was probably the greatest tenor that ever lived in modern history. Pavarotti was 1 of the greatest singers that the world has produced probably in the last 20014:45 years. Pavarotti began singing, was introduced to singing as by his father at a young age. In college, instead of following the14:57 path of singing, he followed the path of of going down the road of being a teacher. And down that road of being a teacher, he graduated and he went to his daddy. He said, daddy, he15:08 said, let me ask you a question. Should I be a teacher or should I be a singer? His daddy looked at him and said, Luciano, it doesn't15:20 really matter which 1 you do, but if you try to sit in both chairs, you'll simply fall in the middle. You do realize, at the end of the day, you have to make15:32 the solid choice that you are going to let God heal you and you're not going to be a curse to other people. Because if15:44 we're not careful, the perpetrators of hurt will come from the padded pews of our churches and the ones that ought to be administering healing will15:56 actually be the ones that are simply passing out hurt. David was from the city of Jerusalem, the city of peace. The moment he cuts the throat of Shimei, no longer is he the king of16:07 peace. He is now the king of war. Brothers and sisters, today I wish I could tell you that there was something that would take away the shatteredness in your heart. I wish there was16:19 something I could say to the people that we could sit down together and I could give you a tip on something. But at the end of the day, what was done to you was done to you and it's heartbreaking,16:31 it's shattering, it's earth, it's mind boggling. I know there are people in this room that are carrying burdens we'll never ever even understand. There are mothers in this room that have got so many sorrows that nobody16:43 will ever ever understand. There are daddies in this room that are dealing with things that nobody will ever understand. There are people that have walked through the darkest, lowest valleys that nobody will ever16:55 understand. But I encourage you right now, if you do not lift your eyes to the hills whence cometh your help and give it to God, you will simply perpetuate the cycle, and a hurt person will17:06 only hurt people. How in the world can I hurt Tyler without hurting other people? I'm gonna look at this passage and give you 4 tips.Tip 1: Choose Counsel Wisely 17:19 4 things of what King David did on how to hurt without hurting other people. Number 1. Now, this this is gonna be so practical. I don't17:31 even think this will make it on the Internet. You gonna look at me and you gonna say, what in the world? Just go with me though because you're gonna find that it's the simple stuff, the17:42 ignoring of that that gets us in trouble. Number 1, how in the world can you hurt without hurting other people? First and foremost, be careful17:54 who you get counsel from. Be careful who you take counsel from. You better be real careful who you let your ear shine. You say where18:06 in the world you get that? Well, look at verse number 9, if you will. Then said Abishai, the son of Zeruiah, unto the king, why should this dead dog curse my18:18 lord the king? Let me go over, I pray thee, and take off his head. You know who David's looking to? He's got men on his right side and he's18:30 got men on his left side. And man old Shimei gets to railing against him, raging against him. And the first person that stands up and says, kill him dead king, is a man named Abishai.18:43 Why does that matter? Well, if you were to go back to chapter 3, Abishai had 2 brothers, Joab and Asahel. And there's a division18:55 between the house of Saul and the house of king David. And the house of Saul, Abner, goes to Abishai's brother, Asahel, and sticks a spear19:07 under his fifth rib and kills him dead. Do you know what Abishai does to the man that hurt him? He kills Abner19:19 against the words of King Saul or King David. Now go with me here. Abishai was a hurt man that hurt other people.19:31 So whenever David is hurting, guess what Abishai does? He's a hurt man telling this guy to go hurt somebody else. He's a biased source.19:47 Isn't it amazing who we take advice from in our lowest seasons? Don't y'all sit there and look at me like you take wise counsel.19:59 Brothers and sisters, this is what we are very prone to to do. You know, the the human species is an interesting group of people. You know what we do? We learn through time20:11 how to work things. And what we do is we learn who to talk to that we know will tell us what we wanna hear and then we learn who not to talk to, who ain't gonna tell us what we wanna hear.20:23 And all the people that know what I'm talking about said, yeah, amen. I'm telling it right. Yeah. If David listens to Abishai, he's just gonna perpetuate20:35 the cycle. He looks at him and he says, he doesn't call him Abishai, he calls him, ye sons of Zeruah. Do you know what the name Zeruah means there in that verse?20:47 It's the Hebrew word which literally means the cut or the wound in a tree from where sap runs out. He looks at him and he said, you wounded man. You're gonna tell me to go20:59 wound somebody else? You better be mighty careful who you take advice from. Hey, can I give you a phrase that you ought to write in your Bible on apply to a lot21:11 of different situations? I feel like this is a tweetable quote. I know Tweeter or Twitter or whatever, it ain't there no more. But I feel like it's a good quote, are you ready? Do not take advice from people21:23 who've been where you've been. Take advice from people who are where you hope to be because they know how to get there. Do not take advice from people that have walked through21:34 divorce. If you're going through divorce, you know why? They may have come out on the other side bitter, cantankerous, mean, ugly, rude, and I mean just abs do not talk to somebody21:46 who's been where you've been. Talk to somebody who's got it together and say, want you to tell me how to make that happen. Don't talk to people who've been where you've been. Talk to people who are where21:58 you hope to be. Y'all know I had a workplace injury the other week. I did. Now I'll be just downright honest with you.22:10 I am an absolute peabody of a wimp when it comes to needles, doctors, stretching, pulling, cutting, operating,22:22 or anything related to the sort. I knew if I asked my wife what I ought to do, they've put me on this22:34 regimen of medicine and then they're trying to get me physical therapied up to get me hopefully where I don't have to have surgery. And, I know if I asked my wife what to do,22:46 she'd say, well you need to do what the doctor said. So guess what? I didn't ask her. No. I didn't. You know who I asked? Troy because I knew he'd tell me what I wanted to hear.23:01 I said, Troy, let me walk you through this process. I said, I'm I said, I'm I'm just, you know, I'm not hurting all the time just when I don't turn. If I23:13 turn the wrong way, it kinda would jolt me just a little bit. He said, oh, that's an easy fix. Just don't turn that way. Boy, I like that. I like that. I23:25 love that light. You know, so you know what I'm gonna start doing when I have injuries? I'm not talking to my wife anymore. And my wife still wouldn't know had it not been for Buckeye Drug over there in their texting23:34 system, but anyways. No. No. You know, at the end of the day, if I23:46 listen to who makes me feel good in the moment, I'm gonna have issues in the long term. So I went to that physical therapist, and that lady I said, now you tell me what are the I said,23:58 do I really need to come back? I said, I think I can do all this stuff. She said, no. You ain't gotta come back. I said, oh, I like that. She said, now look, if you don't do it right, she said, what's gonna happen is24:08 scar tissues gonna get in there and fluids gonna start building up and you gonna wake up 1 day looking like a 900 pound man and have your own show on TLC. You24:20 know, I can do what I wanna do. I can get advice from whoever I wanna get advice from, but you better make sure that you're listening to the right people and who you're getting advice from.24:32 Jackie Robinson was the man that broke the color barrier in Major League Baseball. Jackie Robinson was hated among most southern cities. 1 day he had24:44 traveled to an opposing ball play a ball team's park. What happened is he he he messed up on the field and I mean they were just absolutely letting him have it.24:55 He went out to take his position in the field and due to an error, there were people throwing all types of things at him. A man on the opposing team whose name was Pee Wee Reese left the25:07 opposing dugout and walked out to him, stood beside him and put his arm around him. Symbolizing to the people, I'm with him.25:20 There were people on Jackie Robinson's own team that said, he's not wearing the right uniform to take advice from and to be on your side. He said, it does not matter if someone has the same25:32 outward uniform on as me. It only matters if they've got the inner man that's the same as me. Brothers and sisters, you better be mighty careful just because somebody acts like you want them to act and25:44 knows what you think they ought to know when they give you advice because they will lead you down a path that can get your life all messed up. Number 2, be careful who you take advice from. Number 2 in verseTip 2: God Allows the Hurt 25:56 number 10 and 11, be careful to remember who sent the hurt. Be careful that you remember who sent that26:08 hurt to you. Can I show you something in verse number 10 at the end of the verse? Curse David, who shall then say, wherefore hast thou done so? And David said to26:20 Abishai, to all his servants, behold my son which came forth from my bowels, how much more shall this Benjamin do? Let him alone, let him26:32 curse for the Lord hath bidden him. You know what David said? He said, I'm not about to hurt that man. The only26:44 way he's doing what he's doing is because God told him to do it. Can I tell you a real deep truth that is hard for me to swallow?26:56 Every good thing and every heartbreaking thing has been allowed by God. Now I don't like that. I don't wanna27:08 have to deal with that. I don't wanna have to think about that, But every good and bad thing has been allowed by27:19 God. John Corson said this, he said, it is the encouragement that builds us up, but it is the criticism that makes us27:31 stronger. Boy, I walked into that physical therapist's office And I said, now let's just walk because listen. I don't know if you've ever been in a27:43 physical therapist's office, but there's 2 people in there. There's 2 kinds of people. You ready? There's the really old hip replacement people. And then, there's the young athletes who have27:55 busted up their legs, knees and elbows and they just in there just grinding it out just to get better. So, I walk into that physical therapist's office and I'm sitting there. You You know, I had to go28:06 to TJ Maxx and get the clothes so I looked apart. I wasn't about to walk in in a suit. So, I went in there and there were 2 old people on the wall.28:20 And look, if you were being gay, don't get mad at me. You know I'm telling what I'm about to say. Right? They're on that, and they got that rubber band on the wall, and this is what they're doing.28:34 And the lady's like, are you feeling okay? And so help me. That sweet little old woman goes, I feel the burn. I thought I may not be a28:46 he man, but, son, I'm gonna jerk that rubber band off the wall if they put me on that thing. And so help me, I can't even do what did this kid in there. He couldn't have been 18 years old. You could tell he played28:56 football and he was just trying to get back on to get into his senior. I mean, he was running up and down the little stairs. He was doing the little, what they call them, the burpees where you jump up, fall back down, do29:06 a push up, jump back up, fall back down. I thought, nah. Give me the rubber band. I go in there and that that physical therapist,29:19 the kindest lady, she said she said, come on over here, mister Golden. She put me on this table. She said, now how did you how did you injure yourself? I said, we're not gonna talk about that. We're not29:31 gonna talk. I said, it was a workplace injury is all we need to all we need to discuss. She said, okay. She said, now can you lift it29:43 up? So I lift it up, and she said, can you push it up? So I'm pushing it back. She said, I want you to lay down on the table. So I laid down on the table. She said, I want you to to lift your legs straight all the29:55 way up as far as you can. I got it like a 32 degree angle. I ain't never been able I ain't never had them hamstring. She said, your hamstring and she stuck her finger right in the back of my thigh muscle, and she said,30:06 your hamstring is tight. I said, not as loose as it'd be if you get your ring finger out of it. Y'all don't wanna go to the doctor with me. It's not a pleasant thing. Am I right, baby love?30:18 It ain't a pleasant thing. Beloved, children of light, let me tell you what came next. You think I'm lying, don't you? I'm telling you30:30 this exactly what happened. She brought this rope with these rings in that rope. And I thought, I don't know what's coming next, but I sure enough30:42 don't like where this is going. Jay Donaldson, she stuck that rope on my foot. She said, don't move. I said, I got a feeling that ain't what30:54 I'm about to deal with not moving. And she got up behind my head. My leg just. Beloved,31:06 my entire body was at a right angle before I knew it. I looked at her. I said, you gonna have31:18 to stop. I said, you gonna kill me right here. She said, you've got to do this if you wanna get better. I said,31:30 let me die a cripple. I'll get them good parking spots at church from now on. Give me31:42 let me have them stickers they put on your bumper tag. And I'm tell if y'all work in that physical therapist, y'all ought to be ashamed of what y'all do to me. And I mean, she I've31:54 she is just inch by and when I think that leg can't go no further, Finally, she got that thing straight up32:06 in the air, and I'd had enough. I said, who told you to do that to me?32:19 She said, those are the doctor's orders. I said, doctor's orders? He ain't in here. And this32:30 is what that physical therapist told me with my leg penciled around my head. She said, no. He's not in here. But this ain't the first time he's seen this injury.32:43 And he knows the only way for it to get better is to keep stretching it. Brothers and sisters, I know you're looking at God and you ain't never seen what you've been through,32:56 but this ain't the first time He's dealt with somebody like you. And the only way to get that injury in your heart was to keep stretching, just to keep pulling.33:08 And I said, oh, God. God, I can't take another day. Shattered hearts. God, just keep pulling. God, I can't take another night. He said, just keep on33:20 pulling. He said, god, I I can't take another rejection. God just keeps on pulling. You know why? Because if you want to be hurting33:32 without hurting other people, you've got to go through the process because the doctor knows the only way to get better is to stretch it a little bit further.33:45 David, I'm not touching that man because he has been sent by God. You know, the hardest truth you'll ever walk in is33:56 looking at the sorrow and saying, god, I'm not thankful for it, but I'm gonna be thankful in it. I'm34:08 not I'm not I'm not thanking you for the death. I can't do it. God's something in my heart won't let me. But I'm going to say thank you while I'm dealing with the34:20 death. God, I can't I'm not gonna thank you that that child walked away, but I am gonna say thankful say thank you in it that you just keep stretching me and growing34:32 me. I'm gonna tell you something, beloved. I can't get off this point. When that woman let go of my leg, I liter listen. I wasn't about to tell her because I34:44 if there was a small child anywhere in that thing and he got under my leg when she let go of that rope, it was gonna look like a guillotine just a coming down. I fully expected my leg to have a springboard charge,34:56 and I mean like the brave chop in the bottom of the knife. I mean, just wham. And it just slowly went back down. I looked at her, I said, well, that35:08 ain't what I thought was gonna happen. She said, you never have the reaction after it's over you thought you were going to. I looked at her and I said, ma'am, I said, you're helping35:19 me. Brothers and sisters, I know you think you're gonna die through this process. I know you feel like it's all gonna be chopped to pieces after it's over,35:31 but this ain't the first injury he's ever seen. Let me give you the third 1 right quickly. I probably won't even go to number 4, let me give you number 3. Number 3, you need to be carefulShow more In this video 0:00 Hurt People Hurt People: David's Example17:11 Tip 1: Choose Counsel Wisely25:53 Tip 2: God Allows the Hurt35:40 Tip 3: Sow and Reap – Full Circle
Comments
Keep it kind. Comments are public.