Skip to content Fathered: From Orphaned Heart to Heir of Heaven || Pastor Adam Mesa Jun 23 · 50 min ...more
Fathered: From Orphaned Heart to Heir of Heaven || Pastor Adam Mesa
June 23, 2025 · 50 min
Series Patria Sermons June 23, 2025 · 50 min · Patria Sermons
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492K followers
Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
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0:01 Thank you so much to all those who consider Patriot your home church and partner with us financially. It's because of you we're able to do some incredible things within the ministry, whether it be ministering, doing0:13 counseling families and marriages, or whether it be posting baptisms where everybody gets a shirt and we have change of clothes for people that get impromptu. You know, we gotta fill all the pools and everything like0:24 that. All of that costs. And we don't give free money or anything like that from the government. Everything that you see, when you walk around Patria, any blade of grass that's been cut, any diaper that's been given to0:36 a child who mother forgot their diapers, any snacks that are given, anything, any resource that's given, it's all because you provide for that financially. We feed thousands of families every Saturday at our0:48 generosity center down the street. That is because of your generosity. And so I thank you that when you give, you can just walk around and see that it's in good soil, and it goes to good soil. And so I thank you so1:00 much for that. This is Father's Day weekend, and it's so incredible to see so many families that are out. Today, I wanna share a couple things as we jump into the Father's Day message. Today, what we wanted1:12 to do over this weekend is kinda do a little bit of ministry to the fathers. Ministry to everybody. What whether you've had a father in your life or you haven't had an active father in your life. The thing about Mother's1:23 Day is Mother's Day is often celebrated because for the most part, everybody has had a mother. So, everybody gets excited about Father's Day. But people don't often get excited about Father's Day because not everybody1:35 has a father or not everyone has had an active father in their life in some type of way. And so, when Father's Day is talked about, some get excited. Some are able to send texts about how much their dad or grandfather1:47 means to them. And others, there's no text that gets sent out. There's no message that gets sent. And so I wanna be able to encourage you today through God's word about how God sees you, where you're at, but also for the1:59 men where God's got some encouragement for you today to continue to continue to be the man of God that God has called you to be. And so, for the past couple months, I've known that we were gonna do a message of sorts of2:10 what we're gonna do today specifically. And so, the past couple months, I've been working on a small book for men. It's for all types of men. It's for young men. It's for older men. It's for men that are in a2:22 season of parenting, a season of grandfathering, or in a single season. It's called The Anatomy of a Godly Man, and it talks about 10 pillars of a godly man. And2:33 today, for our men, for Father's Day, we're gonna give it away digitally completely for free. And so, it's something we wanna gift all the men with. It's a short read book, but I but I think it's gonna2:45 radically impact your life. And so, the way you can get your hands on it, because you gotta download it, is if if you just go to adamessa dot org, just put your email, and an email's gonna get sent to you, and the book2:56 is gonna be attached to it. And from there, you can, you know, transfer it to your iPad, your computer. You can read it on your phone. We've been I've been working on this for a couple months, and so it literally3:07 finished this week. So we don't have any physical copies or anything like that yet. We we we literally finished editing like on Wednesday and got it to the team, and we're able to offer it digitally today. And so,3:19 the reason being is because the message I'm gonna share, I believe a lot of men are gonna say, I'm excited. What's next though? How can I continue to develop as a man of God? Which is why I've been really ferociously3:31 for Father's Day wanting to work on that book, The Anatomy of a Godly Man. If you know 1 of my convictions, 1 of my convictions for men is every man should be a Luke 2 52 man. The the Luke 2 523:43 says that when Jesus grew up in age, it says he grew in wisdom, stature, favor with God, and favor with man. Now, every woman could pursue that too, but I also believe that3:55 if a man would commit in his life to grow in godly wisdom, to grow in godly stature, to grow in favor with God and man, we will see a lot of men make an impact in their homes4:07 and in their communities. And so, I just wanna encourage you. We'll we'll share it again at the end if you wanna get ahold of it, but we wanna be able to resource you. Before I jump into the message today, I thought it'd4:18 be good. On Mother's Day, we shared a few jokes. So, it's Father's Day, so I thought I would share a few dad jokes with you. Okay? Specifically, some dad jokes. Some of them I presently use with my sons right4:30 now. But here's a couple for you. Did you hear the rumor about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it. Some of these you may have to ask your neighbor what4:42 that meant. Why did the dad bring a ladder to church? Because he heard the sermon was going to a whole new level. I told my4:54 wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I5:06 don't know why. And the last 1 is, I told my kids I was made in the image in God's image. They said, then God needs to hit the gym.5:21 Look at a dad somewhere and say, he's not talking about you. He's not. He's not. Well, for today's message, I wanna I wanna share with you a message5:32 called fathered. What it means to be a father and what it means to be fathered by God. I have some verses I wanna read with us together, and we're gonna share those verses throughout the message. You do me a favor for5:42 just a moment. Would you just stand for the honor of reading God's word? I'm not reading verses in the traditional way that we normally do where it's 1 passage. I got some passages that I want us to see together about5:52 the word, what the word says about what it means to be fathered by God, but also what it means to father. Here's what James chapter 1 verse 21 says. Religion is that is pure and undefiled before God the6:04 father is this, to visit orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. Romans chapter 8 verse 14 says, for all who are led by6:16 the spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the spirit of adoptions as sons by whom6:28 we cry, Abba, Father. The spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God. And if children, then we are heirs. And if heirs of6:40 God, then we are fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. And then, lastly, John 14 18, Jesus says, I will not leave6:51 you as orphans. I will come to you. Speaking of giving us the Holy Spirit. You may be seated today. 1 of the things we'll see today, and it'll it'll begin to bleed7:03 into what it means to be an earthly father, but it's important for us to understand who our heavenly father is and how that relates with the world today. We recognize through the messages and the sermons and the7:15 verses we just read that God has adopted us. And God has adopted us as a father that reflects love. And what happens is today, the church must rise to7:26 restore fatherhood in a fatherless world. We do. We live in a father. So, we live in a culture that's starving for identity. And identity always flows from7:38 intimacy. How many of you guys know the more time you often spend with someone or something, the more intimate you become with it? Yeah. Same way with God. The more time that we spend with God7:50 as our father, the more intimate of a relationship that begins to be. Also, the more time that you spend in the presence of God is the more healing that it could be at the same time. Jesus said in8:02 John 14 18 that we just read, he says, when he speaks of when he was gonna ascend to heaven, and people were gonna be scared, but Jesus, then you won't be in our life anymore. Jesus, you won't be present anymore. Jesus8:13 says, I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you. He's speaking of the Holy Spirit. It's God's desire that we not be fatherless. And what happens, Jesus wasn't just speaking8:25 to the fatherless and natural, he was speaking to the spiritually abandoned, the emotionally neglected, and the relationally starved. And what does Jesus say? He says, I'm coming for8:37 you. The heart of a father is not to leave, but to lean in. It's a great father. And it's God's desire that he not leave us or forsake us. 1 of the things I wanna share about a little8:49 bit is that statement I made a moment ago was that we live in a fatherless culture. And if you're taking notes, want you to see that we have a culture today that is fatherless. In9:01 large, there is a fatherless culture. And if there are fathers, a lot of them, not all of them, but a lot of them have never seen it mirrored. And so, they don't know what to do. They're doing it for the first time. And9:12 so, what the word of God says in James 4 1 27 that we read, it's this, religion that is pure and undefiled before God the father is this, to visit orphans, widows in their affliction.9:24 The Greek word to visit that's used here is episcometai, which means to intentionally care for, to attend to. You see, God says that it's the heart of9:36 a believer and God's desire for believers that we care for the orphans. I'm gonna share in a few minutes more about what that is. But, there's this calling to care for those in9:48 society. Because in Jesus' society, in Jesus' culture and day, a widow had no provider. An orphan had no protector. There wasn't a government9:59 aid system. And so, a widow who did not have her husband anymore had had no 1 there to provide for her. There there wasn't a government that stepped in. Same thing with orphans. There10:10 wasn't any type of group. There wasn't a government group. There wasn't a nonprofit group that came in and cared for orphans. And so, was no protector for orphans. And the Bible10:22 talks about orphans and widows because both represent individuals that don't have a covering over their life. Today, 1 of the most unreached mission fields is not just a10:34 tribe overseas, it's the living room of a fatherless home. That's a mission field that we have today in our own backyard.10:45 According to recent studies, 1 in 4 children in the US will grow up without a father. 1 in 4. Fatherless homes account for 90 percent of10:56 runaways, 85 percent of behavioral disorders, and 71 percent of high school dropouts. Just this year alone, 44400011:08 suicides, almost half 1000000 suicides have taken place up till June already. Almost 1000000 people by the end of the year, and 75 to 80 percent of those will be11:20 men. A lot of them will be fathers. This is heartbreaking when you look at the data. 1 day, I met with 1 of our the the head San Bernardino County sheriff,11:32 and he was talking to me about the prison system and the juvenile system and things like that. And he said this, and it absolutely blew my mind. He said, there are a lot of young11:43 men that grew up in the juvenile system that the moment they turn adults and they turn 18, they will commit a crime so that they can go to prison. And11:56 I asked them, why would they purposely commit a crime? And he said, because over half of those juveniles that go to the juvenile detention center, he said almost over half of them, their fathers12:08 and grandfathers are in prison. And so, they will commit a crime just so they can get time with dad. I mean, think about12:19 it. Think about understanding someone that's in prison for 15, 20 years, 30 years, even to life, and a young man is so desperate just to have any time12:31 with a father that they commit a crime to spend time with dad. They're not gonna be able to bunk with dad. They're not gonna be able to room with dad. But that 30 minutes,12:43 that hour for lunch, that time in the yard, that's the time with dad. Think about what kind of pain's gotta be in your heart that you're gonna go commit something so that you could just12:55 get time with dad. We live in a culture that's fatherless. We live in a culture where a lot of people are hurting. And so, we don't just have a social crisis, we have a13:07 spiritual famine of fatherhood today. And the second thing we see that in a fatherless culture, we see that there is still an orphan condition. There's a13:19 condition that still perpetrates today of orphanhood. And an orphan isn't just a child. Here's the thing in Jesus' culture and society. You'll notice13:31 that Jesus, if you read the gospels, he talks a lot about children. He talks a lot about orphans. He talks a lot about widows. James, who was the brother of Jesus, we saw that13:43 he just spoke about orphans. He just spoke about widows. And you think to yourself, that's so far from me. I mean, yeah, we have widows today, but but, you know, a lot of times, you know, insurance will look after13:55 widows or or or or retirement will look after widows. When we think of orphans, we think that that's like for the movies. That's like Annie. Like, her growing up in a home14:06 and then getting adopted, and that, you know, and and that's what an orphanage is like. They have they have orphanages in third world countries. You know? In America, there's, you know, foster care systems and there's14:18 adoption systems, but but nowhere in my circle do I experience an orphan condition or an orphan mentality. You see, if Jesus were living today and he were to survey our14:29 cultural landscape, he would say, you have more orphans than you realize. Because in the Jewish culture, an orphan wasn't a child that didn't have a mom and dad. An orphan in14:41 Jesus' culture was a child who didn't have a father. A child could have a mother. There's a reason why he said widows and orphans because oftentimes, widows had14:52 childrens. And in Jewish culture, an orphan was someone that didn't have the spiritual covering of a father in their home. It wasn't someone that didn't have parents. It was someone that15:04 didn't have a dad. And so Jesus says, you have a lot of individuals in our society who don't have dads, and we're not doing anything about it. And he said, as men, we're15:16 not stepping up, and we're not loving those who have never experienced a loving father. And so when he talks about caring for an orphan, he's not just talking about financial support. He's talking about15:28 as men of God in culture that are able to speak truth and love those who've never had an active father in their life. The orphan condition isn't just15:39 someone who grew up in foster care or an adoption center. It's someone who grew up without an active father in their life. Yes. When I was a youth pastor, over 50 percent of my youth15:51 students didn't have active dads in their in their home. And so the only male interaction they would ever have was on Sunday at service. And you would see young men16:03 and young women begin to transform when they started to experience an active father in their life. There's a reason why in Romans chapter 8 verse 15 to 16, the apostle Paul gives us such great16:15 hope that we read. And he said, you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you received the spirit of adoption as sons by whom we cry, Abba, father. Amen. You16:27 see, this is the first time it's shared in scripture. It's the first time in their current day, in Paul's day and in Jewish day, that they ever heard God referred to as16:39 Abba. There had always been this picture of God in heaven and somewhat be far off, somewhat being distant from them. But when Paul steps in and he says, hey. Hey. Here's16:51 1 thing you gotta understand about God, is God is not just some distant father that phones in on occasion or is there just to rescue you when you go to prayer or call in. God is Abba.17:03 That that is the most in Jewish culture and in Greek, that and in Aramaic, that is the most intimate term of endearment that you could have for a father. Amen. Timothy Keller puts it like17:15 this. He says, the only person who dares wake up a king at 3 AM for a glass of water is a child. We have that kind of access to God. Yeah.17:27 You see, God doesn't just tolerate orphans, he adopts them. You know, there are times with people where, you know, because maybe our ministry has impacted them,17:38 maybe sermons have impacted them, or our podcast sometimes men and women, they'll come up to me and they'll be like, oh, I'm just I'm sorry. I'm just so nervous to meet you. And and I'll hear that. And, you know, when I17:49 first started hearing that, it very foreign to me. But then, I slowly started to understand because they were talking about how, you know, God had changed their life. And and so when they would meet me, they they would17:58 get nervous, and and their voice would get cracky and shaky. And and But what happens a lot of times if I'm out greeting people and individuals do that, they'll just they'll say, I'm sorry, pastor Adam. I'm I'm just so18:09 nervous. I I didn't meet you now. I don't I don't think anything's unique about me. Get with my wife. She'll tell you very fast that nothing's unique about me. But there are times that my sons will come out of children's18:19 church and they'll just blow past that individual and they'll be like, dad, I got a popsicle in children's church. Open it for me right now, please. They don't18:31 care what I'm doing. When when I'm in the room and my sons are in the room, I'm on duty. They they I I could be in the middle of18:43 intercessory prayer for someone, And my sons Yeah. Yeah. Hey, dad. You're you're Come on. You're in duty now. I need you I need you to fix this for me. Alright. Can you get me some water? Or can we go18:55 outside and play? They just They know because I'm their dad, there's just access. They don't have to guess. They don't have to wonder. They don't have to it's just, hey, that's dad. Do I give them19:06 everything that they want? No. But they're never scared to ask. And they know whether I give it for them or not. They know at least at least we can go to dad with it. You don't19:18 you don't have a God. You don't have a father that you need to go to trepidatiously or scared, or timid, or God, if you have some time, or God, I wonder, or God, I'm sorry. If19:30 you don't know what you're doing, you've got a heavenly father that does. And so, if you're a father today, and you're saying, I've never had an active father in my life, I don't know how to raise these kids. I19:42 don't know how to be married. I don't know how to be a grandfather. You have a heavenly father. Jesus says, he will not leave us as orphans. He will adopt us into the family. And when you're an heir with19:54 God, it means God will guide you. Keep it real with God. You don't have to fake it to make it. You don't. You see, Psalms20:06 27 10, King David said this because he didn't have a great relationship with his father and mother all the time. 1 son was born out of an affair. Another son tried to kill him when he got20:17 older. And so King David says, for my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in. You see, earthly relationships, they might fall20:29 short in your life, but you have a heavenly father that will always take you in. Because we're called. You don't raise children with your opinions. You raise them with your20:41 example. Yes. And what we gotta recognize, Tony Tony Evans says a godly father is the is the unseen spiritual submarine who lurks below the surface of every20:52 activity of his child's life. You see, what happens is when we begin to recognize that you have adoption from God, it means that you also can21:04 recognize that you're not doing this alone. Right. That you're not doing this from a place of you don't know what to do. You don't know how to do it. You come from a place that you can go to the Lord and you21:16 can say, God, help me. Yes. Help me. Lord, I don't know what I'm doing. Because you can be saved today by grace, and you can still live like an21:28 orphan. You can be a Christian and still have a condition of fatherlessness. And that will happen with earthly relationships, but you'll also let that21:39 happen with how you view God. But God is not there to live by the example of man. God is there according to his word to set the example. Amen.21:51 To show us what it truly means to be a father. And God can show you today. You can be called a son and still carry the scars of fatherlessness.22:04 You can call God father and still not know what it means to be fathered. Yep. Amen. I wanna spend a few minutes talking about covering. What it means to be covered not by just22:15 by God, but also fathered by God, but formed by men. Because that's what God has called us to do. As we are led by the father and God will teach us22:27 how to father, it's up to us to form 1 another. Book of Proverbs says that iron sharpens iron. And so, where you may lack certain areas of your life where you don't22:39 know how to be a father, you don't know how to receive being fathered, then the reality is what we can do is we can help 1 another. We can help form 1 another. That's why it's so important for us22:51 that we encourage to go to Growth Track and Forward and join a neighborhood group because it's you stepping outside of your comfort zone to say, hey, I understand that I need to be sharper in my life, and I23:03 understand I can't do this on my own. And there are people that may be more gifted in 1 area of your life than you are, and you may be more gifted in another area23:15 of your life. First Corinthians chapter 4 verse 15 says this, you have countless fathers or you have countless instructors, but not many fathers. This23:27 was written 2000 years ago. Yeah. How true is that? We've got good podcasts. We got great YouTube sermons and23:38 videos, and we got good TikTok men that talk about what it means to be a man, and we got great TikTok theologians. But who is calling out your identity?23:50 Who's correcting you in love? Who's gonna show up for you when you fall? You can't ring that person you follow on TikTok.24:03 You can't you can't message that YouTube preacher that you're watching on YouTube. Come on, pastor. Hey. I need you to get here right now to Rancho Cucamonga. I'm going through some marriage things.24:16 See, what happens is we gotta recognize if we don't live life in community and accountability, there are not enough just messages you can ingest or things that you can just follow or or or traits that you can try to24:28 adapt. If you don't have someone that says, hey, I wanna I wanna speak some things into your life. Because there will be moments that the moment you step into being a godly man, not just a man,24:40 because culture and society defines manhood completely different than what the Bible defines manhood as. Yep. But if you start if you step into godly character, godly24:51 fatherhood, godly manhood, what's gonna happen is you are gonna be challenged in areas where the rest of the world isn't challenged in. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because anyone that just has father wounds, guess25:03 what? They either a, get to duplicate them and say, well, I'm doing it because I've that's all I've ever seen. Or they get to say, I reject any father because I've never known a good25:15 father. So, either you duplicate what you've seen or you just reject the entire thing. But when you say, Lord, I wanna step into a godly manhood, a godly25:27 character, then he'll say, okay. Well, let's turn the heat up then. Yeah. Preach it up. Let's develop that. The only the only you ever been into a kitchen before, like at a restaurant? It's hot in there because things25:39 are getting cooked. Things are getting developed. I've never been in a cold kitchen before in my life. I've never been in 1. It's always hot. There's always a window that's gotta be cracked. There's25:51 always a towel on someone's shoulder to wipe the sweat off. Because if you want anything cooked, if you want anything developed, it means it's gonna get hot. It means you're gonna get tried. It means character's gonna be26:02 developed. And if we're just gonna say, that's it. I'm out of the kitchen, because I get burnt every time I'm in that kitchen, then guess what? Nothing's ever gonna get made. Nothing's ever gonna get served. If you're26:13 just walking out every single time you get a little burr, you get a little scratch, then guess what? You're never gonna be able to develop the way that God wants to develop you. I was so encouraged last week, but also I26:24 was challenged thinking to myself, what what would I do? Pastor Fuego is our campus pastor up in Alameda, and they had baptisms this past weekend. Well, a few months ago, he called me and he said, hey, pastor Adam. I'm26:36 in a little bit of pickle. I said, what's going on, pastor Fuego? He said, well, there's this guy that started coming to my church, and I'm not really comfortable with it. I said,26:48 why aren't you really comfortable with it? He goes, well, because, like, 7 years ago, he robbed me. He stole from me. And he found out I'm a pastor, and I guess he got saved online or something like that.27:00 And so, he just started attending my church, but, like, he's never paid me back my money. And and he's like, and he's just trying to, like, show27:12 up to church. And he goes, like, I kinda wanna just tell him, like, hey, there's a church on every corner. May like, maybe try 1 that I'm not pastoring. You know? He's like, I'm27:24 mad. I'm angry. You you know about pastor Fuego, he didn't he didn't have an active father in his life at all. And so for him, his father instincts don't kick27:36 kick in for a young man that didn't have a father who robbed from him. His his rejection. Hey, man. This guy's gotta go. I love him. So glad you're loving Jesus, but love Jesus in another area code or another zip code.27:48 Like, that you know, and if you remember pastor Aaron's sermon where he talked about forgiveness and forbearance, you know, as you forgive, forbearance is still something that you have to So, Fuego's working on his27:58 forbearance and so he goes he goes, you know, he says, honestly, I've kinda like I see him on Sundays, but I kinda just like dap him up and I keep moving because I'm still working through like this like anger that28:10 I have. Yes. And then sure enough, I get a text on Monday morning and he goes, pastor Adam, the young man came up and he asked to be baptized. He was the last person to be asked28:21 to be baptized on Sunday. And you'll see right there, God you'll see pastor Fuego, he begins to cry because God is not working on the young man. God is working on pastor Fuego.28:35 God isn't just healing the young man. God is healing Fuego. And you'll see this is a long It's a minute and half video. It's on pastor Fuego's Instagram, but he's speaking to this young man, and he goes, I know28:47 that other men have quit on you. I know that people have left you alone. I know that you've been doing this by yourself. But pastor Fuego said, I make a commitment, a covenant with you right here, right now. I will not28:59 leave you. I will not give up on you. I will not get even with you. He says, I love you. And, he begins to pray for this young man who's 26 years old, growing up in the streets, and he29:10 begins to encourage this young man and baptize this young man. This is what it looks like to be fathered by God. It means that God will challenge some areas of your life.29:23 God will challenge you. He he will stretch you. He will say, oh, you got a wound right here? Let's heal that by having you develop that in someone else. Oh, you got some29:35 anger you're working through? Let's have you love someone in an area where that anger seems to boil up every single time. You see, God, his process to develop it and his process to healing is29:47 1 that you and I will not feel that is comfortable. Good, pastor. Preach it. Pastor Fuego was texting me and pastor Aaron, and he said, God did something in me this weekend. Good. God closed a chapter on something29:59 in me this weekend. That's what it means when you say, God, you can father me. He'll say, okay. Get ready. Because I'm about to do something a dad has never done before. I'm gonna develop something in you a father30:11 maybe has never done before. God will show you great love, but he'll also discipline you in areas that you've not recognized. See, a lot of times, what we wanna do is I got this I got this old,30:23 ratty toolbox right here. Alright? And a lot of times, what will happen is is this kinda represents what a father would pass down to you. Okay? So, it's not30:34 pretty. It's not perfect. And so, as you become and you've developed to be a young man, a man, a grandfather, you're looking at this toolbox that your father passed down to30:46 you. And so, there are things that you're trying to develop, and then you open that toolbox and you go, oh, I just have a hammer because my dad was really hard.30:57 That's that's what I have. And then, oh, I I I I see, you know, I see a wrench in here because my dad was always just trying to correct things and trying to and trying to torque things and fix31:09 things. And so, when you become a a father, you're like, these are the 2 things that I have. And you're like, I don't I don't wanna use these. I I don't wanna hammer on31:21 my children. I don't want this I don't wanna be a husband that just hammers on my wife all the time. I don't wanna just be calling out everyone's errors all the time and trying to fix it. And so then we say, I don't like31:32 this toolbox. I don't like what was passed down to me. I don't like these things. Or some of you, you got this toolbox and you open it and it's just empty. You didn't have a father. So, you're like, I have nothing in it.31:44 I got what was passed if your father wasn't even in the picture, you're like, I got something that was passed down from him, which is absence. And and there's nothing in this. So, you think to yourself, I just want I31:55 want a shiny new toolbox. I just want I just want a brand new dad. I just want a brand new father. And so, what we do is we look at people to be the new thing for us.32:08 And so, you you you you may you know, if you're a woman and you didn't have an active father, say, okay. I want I wanna find a husband that's gonna be both of those things. You want we look for the new or a young man. We32:18 look for a new mentor we wanna look up to, or we go to YouTube and we create a relationship with someone and say, okay, that's my dad. And so, we just think, I want a new. And then, what we wanna do is we want to get new32:30 hammers, we wanna get new wrenches, we wanna get new pliers, we want everything all fresh and new. But the reality is, if you get everything fresh and new, guess what?32:42 You're learning how to do it for the first time. You're you're you're you're you're stepping into something and you're saying, I've never hammered anything before. And the hammer I saw, I don't want that hammer. And the32:52 wrench I saw. So, now we're figuring everything out on our own if you live isolated. And so, you're getting all these new tools, but you don't know what's worked. So, 1 day, you're going up to your wife and you're33:04 saying, you know, I read I watched this YouTube video, and they told me I gotta be more of a leader, and I gotta put my foot down. So, I'm gonna go to my wife, and I'm gonna say, wife, I put my foot down.33:17 And she's gonna say, boy, who are you talking to? Right? Or you say, okay. I've been really passive, then I'm gonna go to my kids. I'm gonna say, you know what?33:28 Bedtime right now is 7 PM, and they start laughing at you. Whatever. And so we're doing it all by ourselves. But what would happen if a couple things.33:40 What would happen if we recognized, yep, my dad, he wasn't perfect. He had a lot of shortcomings, but he woke up every day at 6 AM. Everything was clean. Everything33:52 was put to order. Everything we we he wanted but but we had to make the bed. He he was like a drill sergeant. But now that I kinda look at my life, I'm really disciplined.34:04 I have I have these disciplines. I have these I mean, I'm not really soft. I'm not really gracious, and I can't figure it out. But I have a lot of discipline from my dad. Or you say to yourselves, oh, man. We we you34:16 know, my dad, he was like, he was a really family man. Like, we we didn't do well financially or anything like that. He went from job to job, but, man, he was really all about the family. He would go to all my games. He34:28 would go to all my recitals. He was so present for me. I just wish I learned some more disciplined things, or I wish I learned more of this, or I wish I learned more of that. Well, what happens is you can34:40 you can recognize the old toolbox, and you can say, ah, I like I I like a little bit of this, and I and I like a little bit of this. And, I wanna develop a new34:51 this. And, you can begin to build something in your life without just saying, I don't I don't want the toolbox. Get the whole thing out of my face. I want I wanna start over fresh. Or when we35:03 live in community, we can recognize, by show of hands, who grew up with a father that was extremely disciplined? Like, disciplined schedule, disciplined with you, bed bed had to be done, dinner at this time. Raise your35:15 hand. Raise your hand if you had that disciplined father. See? We got a lot of people with disciplined fathers. Now now, raise your hand if you had that that that father that that was like, he was a family man. He he he35:25 You did vacations together. He always asking you how you're doing. He, you know, he he he was at the games, the recital Raise your hand if you have that dad. See? So, look about half and half. Half35:37 the room had a disciplined dad. Half the room had a dad that was fun, and some of you didn't raise your hand at all. And so, then what happens is, guess what? We can all benefit from each other.35:49 If we start sharpening 1 another, I can go to someone and say, hey, here's the thing I know about my dad. My dad, if you know pastor Diego, he's got he is the most disciplined person you've ever met. If you if you36:01 ask his schedule to be off by 10 minutes, he will start to get anxious. He will count seconds when he has to be at something. Like a family gathering, 1 of his first questions will be,36:13 how long do I have to be there for? Not because he doesn't mean well, it's because it it that is that's him. And so for me, I recognize with my wife, she came from a36:25 family man, dad, and all this stuff. So I had to recognize I I am missing a tool that I didn't see represented growing up. But but but I didn't go, but I want nothing to do with being a36:36 disciplined individual. I wanna be a disciplined individual. But but I also don't wanna count the clock when I'm at my wife's family gatherings. So what do I do? I get around men36:48 who don't count the clock. And I say, what do you do? How do you do it? Can you speak into my can you help me? Because I've only seen 1 thing growing up, and I want I wanna do another. And then, of my friends know,37:00 hey, keep me accountable because I'm the type of guy that I will work 100 hours a week. I I I could I could I love my wife. I love my children. I could work all day every day and37:12 see them for 5 minutes and be like, I'm great. I did my job. But that's not healthy. So I need community around me who's like, Adam, when's the last time you went on a date night with your wife? Adam, when was the last37:23 time you spent a whole day with your kids? When was the last time you canceled your day, your schedule, so that you can take your sons to the park? When did you do that? And I go, shoot. Let me get37:35 that stinking plier I haven't had, and I gotta because what happens is what you don't intentionally build, what you don't intentionally make, what you don't37:47 let others speak to, you will not find it by default. You're just saying, God, help me be a better father. God, help me in this. He's not You're not gonna miraculously wake up tomorrow and be to have whole new37:59 disciplines. It's what you develop. And then what will happen is God will give you opportunities like pastor Fuego to see what tool you're gonna use.38:11 Because because that young man, he didn't need the hammer. He he's gotten the hammer before. He he he he he he needed a screwdriver. He needed he needed someone to go deeper with him, to38:23 love him more. Not just to hit him, but to be like, what's going on? I recently was hanging a a TV in my house. It took me 7 hours to do this. The38:35 reason being and I kept making Instacart orders to Home Depot to get a new tool and a new tool and a new tool. And so, like, 300 dollars later in Home Depot Instacart things,38:47 I realized something that I didn't know. That if I would have just called 1 of my friends who I have a lot of friends in construction and contractors, 1 of my best friends builds homes, I could have just called him and38:56 been like, hey, are walls different when they're connected to kitchens? Because I'm hanging a door I'm hanging a TV like I would in my bedroom, but, like, this wall is connected to my kitchen, and every holeShow more
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