Skip to content Beyond I Do Night with Pastors Adam and Ashlee Mesa Mar 20 · 1 hr 1 min ...more
March 20, 2025 · 1 hr 1 min · Patria Sermons
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Adam Mesa is Lead Pastor of Patria Church and speaks to a congregation of 12,000 about how the gospel of Jesus Christ brings purpose to every life. Patria
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0:00 Alright. Well, praise God. It's so good to see everyone as tonight's a little bit different than you're used to is tonight we have our Beyond I Do night like pastor Nathan shared.0:12 Beyond the letter is our podcast where not only do we wanna reach people in our church, but we also wanna reach people far from Jesus. And believe it or not, we've heard testimonies of couples and individuals who have0:24 found Jesus through these podcasts. 1 1 testimony in particularly, that Ashley and I heard, last year was that there was a couple that was separated living in different homes, and they0:35 started sending each other clips from our podcast. And the husband didn't know that his wife had gotten saved in our church and started attending here. And so then 1 day she said, those are actually0:47 my pastors. Would you come to church with me 1 day? The the husband never went to church in his life. And he said, yes. I would. And he ended up giving his life to Christ, and they ended up restoring their marriage0:59 just based off of conversations, not just about scriptures, but about how the Christian life overflows from our heart. That's why it's called beyond the letter and beyond I do because, what we1:11 also want is as God's word transforms us, we want that word to live out through our everyday life. Word of God says people will know you not only by your love, but they also love you by your fruit, the fruit that you1:22 have. And that's what we wanna exhibit through Beyond I Do and at Beyond the Letter. And so Beyond I Do is our marriage, family, and relationship podcast, that people listen to all over America and internationally. And1:33 so like pastor Nathan said, we thought, well, let's have 4 this year where we come together and we take specific topics that deal with marriage and family and relationships. And so this 1 in1:45 particular, that we're doing today is how do you endeavor to raise a godly family? How do you endeavor to have a a godly marriage and a godly family? But first, before we jump in, I'm gonna ask if the cameras just follow1:56 me for a second because I saw something unique up here in the front. I saw a group of ladies wearing all pink. Okay? And I leaned over at my wife, and I said, is that some type of crew? Is that a gang that we don't know2:08 about that came tonight? So and then Ashley goes, no. That's the Beyond I Do neighborhood group. That's 1 of the neighborhood groups. So you guys list no. I'll just go down. So I'm not gonna explain it. Alright. Who's2:19 the ringleader? Who's the neighborhood group leader? Right here. Alright. Go. Just just just just stand up. Go ahead. Alright. So why why is everybody work and look. You got a custom 1. That's we don't even make that.2:29 Look, ladies, beyond I do, ladies. What do you guys do? Where do you meet? It's a neighborhood group.2:35 So it's a neighborhood group that we have on, Mondays. So it's this is literally just a fraction of it. We have tons of women that come. We get together. We watch the2:46 podcast, and that's our conversation. So it's ladies so we can talk about y'all men. And so it's just, just a place to be2:58 vulnerable. We laugh. We haven't cried yet because it's just been fun so far. But but no. I mean, just get into deep conversations. We break down the podcast and we just kinda3:10 go into what's going on in the podcast and then but we really just involve our lives whether we've lived it or we're getting ready to live it or we just encourage each other. We love on each other3:22 and this is our field trip. So thanks y'all for having this.3:25 This is this is cool. So, yeah,3:27 we had to come repping since Thank3:30 you so much.3:31 And I know there's some date nights here tonight too that have come as well. Well, thank you so much. Appreciate you guys listening to the podcast and making it part of your life and your community. Well, here we are. We3:42 got some special people up here, and I'm gonna let them because every time we do a Beyond I Do Night, we're gonna kinda invite a different group of of individuals in the church. And here here's what I don't3:54 want you to get is nobody that we have up here are we trying to portray has figured it out and has done it perfect. I think many times when I grew up in the Christian faith, I thought that4:05 anyone they had on a stage meant, like, they figured it out. They don't argue no more. They don't have mistakes. They don't you know, they figured out how to raise the perfect children, and every child is prays every4:17 morning and just loves Jesus every you know, like, that's a misconception. Right? And so I just want you know ahead of time that as these are individuals that Ashley and I personally respect dearly,4:28 they're also not individuals that we're saying, hey. They they've done it perfectly. They've raised kids perfectly. They have a family perfectly. My mother-in-law may disagree, but no. But but we'll see.4:40 So I I'll let them just introduce themselves for a moment and just share how many children you you you have and how many years that you have been or were married. And4:52 so, actually, believe it or not, this is my mother-in-law. So I'll start with my mother-in-law, Betsy, and you can share. Yeah.4:59 Is this on?4:59 It should be. Let me see. Yep. Yeah. You're on.5:03 My name is Betsy. Last name, Elliot. I'm Ashley's mom. I have 3 children, all adults now. We our oldest is, 40, our son Anthony. Then we have Ashley5:15 next after that, and then, baby girl, Ali. And, my husband and I, we were married for 39 years. We got together when I or we met in in high school.5:27 So I was 15, he was 16. I was a cheerleader, he was on the basketball team. We got married, I was 18, he was 19. And then my husband passed away almost 5 years ago on our 30 ninth5:39 wedding anniversary. So I am blessed, to be here and a part of Patriot Church and so thankful for the support that I get from everyone here, not just my son-in-law and my daughter, but the entire family of5:51 Patriots. So I'm glad to be here.5:53 Yeah. Thank you. Alright. Is this okay. It's on. It's on.5:58 Well, everyone knows who we are. I'm Cindy and this is Diego, pastor Diego. We've been married 42 years. Yeah. This year.6:10 42 year this past year. See, we're already6:13 He said don't get me the math wrong.6:18 We go through this all6:20 You can see their dynamic right away. Normally, you hear my dad's perfect side.6:25 What date do we get married? Yeah. This just before we came here. We have 3 sons, Adam,6:36 Nathan, and Caleb, our our middle 1. And we have 7 grandkids. And we've just been having a ball with all the changes and everything that's happening6:48 to watch our kids grow in the ministry and with what they're doing with Adam, Ashley, and Nathan and Sanaz and everybody else. But we're just so proud7:00 of them, and we're excited to be here. And you have anything?7:05 That's it.7:06 It's very very kind. Thank thank you, mother. We'll go right here.7:13 My name is Valdria Rowe. We have 2 adult kids. We've been together for 28 years, and this month, we'll be married 25.7:24 And I know7:27 he wanna add to it because you heard him go.7:30 Yeah. No. As my wife said, I'm I'm thankful that she's put up with me for 25 years of marriage. We celebrate at the end of this month. So let's give her a hand.7:43 And as stated, we have 2 adult children, and we're very proud, recently parents of an army soldier officer. So we we're very proud of our son serving our country. So and7:55 and as pastor Adam, I'm glad you put that clause in. We're still working on it. We don't got it figured out.8:00 Yeah. Thank you guys so much. Well, as you can see, the the the wife spoke first because that'd probably be the last time they might speak knowing that Curtis and my dad, but, they might jump in now. Well, here's8:12 what I wanna ask first. It's not it's not really on my notes, but I thought about it because I I know I know all of you guys individually, so I know that you all will have a version of your answer. I think a lot of8:22 individuals here, they they they either have children, teenagers, college students. And I know for each of you individually, it happened. We have a lot of people who they come to faith, and their8:34 children, either new, they they go to they come to faith when their children are old enough to realize that their parents came to faith. And so, you know, when, when the parents come to faith, all of a8:45 sudden, mom and dad were out Friday nights, you know, drinking and dancing and all these things. And then all of a sudden, mom and dad have us in church and have us developing our faith. And that's a little bit of8:57 a whirlwind. And I know in my particular situation, it wasn't quite that way. But having my dad as a preacher, I would hear the stories all the time. And so for each of you, you maybe you could speak to for just a9:09 moment. When you guys started to have children and have a family, how did that personally shape your walk with Jesus, your your faith? What what was that driving factor of for a lot of people, when they become9:21 parents, it kinda becomes a wake up call because you realize you don't have the answers. Like, don't know what's going on. And a lot of people end up developing faith when they start to have children. So9:33 what shifted for you guys as you had children in your walk with God and your desire for and I think I wanna do it differently than maybe I was raised or maybe the way I saw it. So I'll open it up. Whoever hears that,9:44 has something first, wants to jump in. Curtis, did you raise your hand? You wanna jump in there? No problem. I need you to open it up.9:49 Alright. I'll9:50 open it9:50 up. Yeah.9:51 So, I had a child when I was 18, and that really opened my eyes. I grew up without a father. And when I had my child, I said, man, you know, I10:03 I wanna do better for her. But I grew up in a household, a Christian household, where I went to church 8 days a week. You I know you're like, how did you go 8? Because we went back twice sometime on Sunday. Okay?10:15 And I didn't like going to church that much. Right? But when I had my daughter, it opened my eyes, Cause I was wild at that age. And I said, man, I gotta do better. I wanna give her better. And 110:27 of the things that I knew that was a great foundation for me is that I went to church so much. I was raised in a Christian household and so forth. So then later on in life, you know, I say I wanna do it10:39 right this time. Right? Get married and do things and but when I get married, I want our family to go to church. I want our family to serve in church because I know that it works. I know that bringing10:50 up children in church, I know that I'm a living testimony. Right? I was brought up in church. I strayed. I strayed left, right, and God's still working on me now. But it works.11:02 Right? The Bible says if you train up a child in the way they should go, they will not depart from it. It doesn't say they will stray, but they will not depart from it. So just a little bit11:14 of nugget of encouragement to the parents out there that say, man, I got kids that have went wayward. I got kids. I don't know what to do. Keep praying and don't give up on them. That's great.11:27 Anyone Betsy, do you have any anything on it?11:30 My husband and I, our our salvation story is based upon our marriage. So we had been married for, almost 10 years and basically we're headed for a11:42 divorce. At least we thought that in our own minds. We fortunately never spoke it, but we were going to marriage counseling at the time and they weren't a Christian counselor. And so they pretty much were like, you guys11:53 are terrible. You're never gonna make it. And so we left in separate cars 1 day thinking that that was it. Both of us and I thought I was gonna be a single parent with 2 children because I just had Anthony and Ashley at12:04 the time. And then somebody invited us to a church. Now I was going to church every Sunday, but it was a a Catholic church. And so I had Jesus in my head, but not in my heart. And so12:16 I always was pretty much a a good girl on my way to hell. Because I, you know, didn't party, I didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't curse. But I was on my way to hell because I didn't12:27 know Jesus. And then somebody invited us to a Christian church and my husband said, will you go? And I was like, he had never been to church so I was like, sure, I guess. I'm going to the Catholic12:39 church in the morning with the kids and I'll go with you. And we were so loved on, so welcomed and within a week, we received Jesus as our Lord and Savior and God restored12:51 our marriage. And so Ashley was only 3 years old, Anthony was 7 years old. Within 2 weeks, my husband and I and Anthony all gave, you know, got baptized so we had13:03 already received Jesus. But that next Sunday when they had the children's church come in, they said any of the children that had received Jesus, they're gonna bring him in now. And in walked Anthony after he had seen my13:14 husband and I get saved on a Thursday night after a church basketball game. So I don't think we really had that, you know, out there, you know, partying type of lifestyle so much. Although, you know, maybe a13:26 little bit when he was first in the military when my husband was away. But the kids pretty much only knew saved parents. Allie only knew saved parents, which was a blessing. And so maybe13:38 a blessing, but maybe to them a curse because we were pretty strict.13:43 Yeah. So then speak maybe right at the beginning then. So how did you how how did you guys begin to define with your Christian walk boundaries13:54 raising children? Like, what were were some were there some clear things that were clear to you guys to say, hey. Now that I'm following God, I want my children to be raised in a godly household.14:06 Were there some distinctives that you felt were these are gonna kinda be nonnegotiables for us? This is gonna be something that's maybe even uncomfortable for us, but we need to stick to it for the sake of our14:18 children. Mom or dad, was there any things that stuck out to you guys with that?14:23 Well, I again, you know, we we got saved at such a young age and our kids had never seen an unsaved side of us. So we14:35 didn't, they didn't have to deal with that, but you know, there was the overwhelming sense of responsibility that we would stand before God and give an account14:47 of how we raised our kids. Then the Also the illumination was they were not our kids, they would be our brothers and sisters in the Lord. And15:00 so with that in mind, know, I wanted to ensure that it just wasn't a domination and a controlling as a parent, you know, that So teaching them,15:11 you know, how to be responsible. So, you know, model ship and example ship was so huge for us. We would get in disagreements, but we would never ever15:23 fight in front of the kids. So a non negotiable and a rule was we would never do that. We would never let them see that side of us. So you know what, we table it for another time or when they15:35 went to bed. So they, we kept the unity of the home. We wanted them to feel secure in who they were and at their home and their mommy and daddy. Again, I15:47 was very very protective and active in every aspect of their lives, who their friends were, sleepovers, if very few of those went on.15:59 Music, movies, dress, hair color. I was actively involved in everything. Now it wasn't from a a domineering, it was a conversation. Do you wanna be like the world? Tell16:11 me why you wanna do this. And me schooling them and talking them through those kinds of things. But I felt like I was totally responsible16:22 and I had invested so much, not not money, but prayers and time within these children that I just wasn't gonna let the enemy come in through the back16:34 door. Amen. And so, you know, that's why, you know, Adam is, pastor Adam is talking so, you know, vocally about, you know, when they were in their in in her womb, I was praying over them. I16:46 had more prayer time invested in their womb. They I they were already married and old in their womb through my prayer life. Prayer carves the path that they will walk on. So I didn't wait for trouble to16:58 happen. I didn't wait for them for anything. I was already ahead in in prayer. So that's what I would say about that.17:03 Yeah. That's great. But maybe on the same boundary front, mom, maybe briefly tell the story where we begged you for months, me and Caleb, to sign up for Pop Warner, and you took us to sign up for football.17:15 And we were there maybe for 5 minutes before we left. Why why was that?17:19 Well, because they have it on Sundays. And that was like, no. You you can't do any sports on a Sunday because we have to go to church. That is the Lord's day and that's what we gotta17:31 do. And so whatever sports, you know, they were in, obviously, it was during the week or whatever, but not on a Sunday. I think that's pretty much with all of us. You, Betsy, and you.17:43 Yeah. Had Saturday service.17:45 So Yeah. Yeah.17:45 Ashley played on Sunday, but we had Saturday night service.17:48 Well, we were at church Saturday, Sunday, Wednesday, whenever, and the kids were with us. They were in children's church. But whenever we could do sports, they were really into the back18:00 then was hockey, roller hockey, basketball, that.18:05 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let me just say something. You said something which is really important is that coming to church and being at church was a non negotiable. I was ahead of my household and I was gonna18:17 do that. And again, I'm not talking about in a domineering and ugly way. But to balance that out was the fact that we would also be there for their interest.18:29 So I think parents drag their kids to church and then they're they're not involved in their interest and they're and they're not supporting them in their private life. So eventually18:40 when they're young you could get away with that. But when they start having an mind, an opinion, and independence, they won't come to church and you got trouble. But if they see you investing in what they18:52 like, then it can balance out that, you know, they're willing to work. Yeah.18:57 Yeah. I just wanted to say because like with baseball, Nathan didn't like baseball.19:03 Just because we Nathan like any sports.19:06 Well, just because we liked it, we weren't gonna force our kids to do that with what he was saying.19:11 Yeah.19:11 So whatever you guys liked, then if we could do it, we would do it.19:15 Yeah. That's great. Well, Betsy, maybe speak on not really the opposite, but maybe another version where you and Tom sacrificed a lot of time for your children to be invested in19:27 sports. And what a lot of people don't know all the time is Ashley played professional soccer, went to 1 of the largest universities to play d 1. Allie, your daughter, same thing. And19:39 and so you guy but you like, you guys did really strange things. Not not weird, but it just the average person could not imagine the sec on top of church, the sacrifice you19:51 and Tom made to invest in your children. Speaking to my dad talking about interest, I mean, tells me her childhood of what you and Tom would do, and I would think I I wouldn't have done I won't do that. You know? We were20:02 we were crazy. Yeah.20:04 Don't do what we did. We were crazy. We lived in Victorville at the time. We worked in Norco. We would go from Victorville 55 miles to Norco, go from Norco back to20:16 Victorville, have the girls in the car with their homework and their dinner, and drive 88 miles to soccer practice, pass Norco all the way to Newport Beach, and then all the way to Newport Beach20:27 back to Victorville about 2 times a week during the week. And then on the weekends when she played soccer either in Lancaster, San Diego, Long Beach, we were putting20:38 350000 miles on the Suburban, and it was crazy. But it kept them it kept them. Amen. I mean, that's the other thing because, you know, that commitment kept20:51 them busy. It kept them busy and and it and we had their attention. So, you know, even when Ashley and Allie were running track, we drove to Moreno Valley from Victorville so that they could run track.21:03 And so we spent time talking and sharing and praying and, you know, I think when Ashley got her her scriptures that were her foundation scriptures was when she was running track because21:15 there was intimidating girls on the on the track. And we started listening to a lot of praise and worship music on the way. And so she got the song in her heart that was, know, that God has not given me a21:27 spirit of fear, but of power, of love, of a sound mind. She kept that all the way through college. I mean, even on her college locker at the University of Florida, that we had printed out and it was embroidered on21:39 like these hangers that hung in her in her school the entire time that she was in school. Even it was painted on her walls. So she had several scriptures painted on her walls. 1 was, you know, a huge soccer ball21:51 with that scripture, second Timothy 1 and 7. And then she had the national team crest which was Matthew 6 33. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these other things will be added unto you. And22:02 she actually was with the national team pool for many years from the time she was 14 till the time she was 23 years old. So never made the Olympic jump but was in the pool with all the other Olympians. And22:14 it was a blessing. She had another scripture that you know said to trust in the Lord with all your heart and and you know, lean not to your own own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he'll direct your22:24 path was underneath her Florida gator that was painted.22:28 Habakkuk. The22:29 Habakkuk 2. Yeah. Which is to write the vision and make it plain. So we had scriptures on the walls. We had scriptures in the bathroom. You know, so it was constantly being, you know,22:40 spoken and read and listened to. And I think it really, you know, helped them to have it in their heart even when they went away to school. When they went away to school, Ashley found a church to go to. And so when I22:52 would come to town with my husband and we'd stay there for the Florida games and the national championships and all that other stuff, we were in a church on Sunday in Gainesville, Florida. So I was thankful for all of23:03 those opportunities. Amen.23:05 I'll add to this though. Because you do know me and because we're transparent and we're family, Patriot family. There were moments though in college I struggled. For sure.23:16 What was your processing when you knew I was struggling with partying and drinking and all that.23:27 This was it. This was it. This was it. Amen. Amen. Amen. You know, that's what a parent does. Right? I mean, we trust God. We trust God, but23:39 we don't stop praying. We don't stop praying. We keep believing that God will see them through. And so God is faithful. God is faithful. I'm a living witness. God is faithful. You know?23:51 So23:52 yeah. That's great. Do, do would any of you guys I know there's probably some people in here and people watching online who are stepping into the teenage phase. Are there any anybody in here with some teenagers? Know?24:04 Yeah. Quite a few hands. So let's try to, let's try to see if we can get you all some help too at the same time because that's that's a tough age. Start turning 12, 13, 14, 15. I mean, son24:16 you know, if you got daughters, they start giving attitude to mom. If you got sons, they start getting silent. You know? All these things start happening. And so, do you guys have any insight that as all24:28 of your children began to hit those teenage years, how did you, specifically, I know maybe Curtis, you have some things at Valdria. I know some things that you've done with junior, specifically in church. But just in24:39 general, people stepping into that teenage phase, what what are some tips you would give not only to be able to be active parents, present parents, but also the you know, I just24:51 briefly, tell a story that when I was a youth pastor, there was a man who walked up to me in the courtyard, and he said he said, you gotta fix my 2 daughters, man. I I gotta get a meeting with you because they're25:02 they're talking back to mom. They're not listening. 1 of them started getting into marijuana in high school and this and that and that. And he said, you you just you need to talk to my daughters. They they they're just25:13 driving me and my wife nuts. And I said, okay. It was a Sunday. I said I said I said, bring them. I'll talk to them right now for just a moment. Let's meet them. And he said, well, they're not here today. And I said, why25:22 aren't they here today? And he said, well, because they play volleyball and they had a game yesterday. So we let them sleep in. They were very tired. I said, okay. We'll bring them on Wednesday. Oh, they have volleyball25:32 practice. I can't bring them on Wednesday. Here's the day that works for us. And I went that day actually did work for me, but I said, sorry. I'm all booked that day. Because it was it was I'm not gonna just work around25:44 your schedule in the sense of there's only so much I could do as a pastor. Right? If the parent's not gonna partner with me, then then the power's out of my hand. So we what what what we often do is with teenagers is we25:55 we, you know, we maybe either go too hard or we go way too easy. So as you guys had teenagers, what were some things that, you know, stick out that maybe you say you did well or maybe say, man, we really help us with26:07 some things you messed up on too. We really did bad with this, you know, and here's how we would do different. So I'll let any of you guys jump in with that.26:16 Teenage years, college years, 1 of the things that helped me with my son is to be transparent.26:27 You know, be growing up and I had another side to me, I hid that from him a lot of the times because I didn't want him to see that. Right? My daughter saw that. So I said, hey, son. You26:39 know your sister, I had her when I was 18. I said, so I don't want you to have make the same mistakes. And so as we know teenagers, they like things. They like the Jordans. They like the clothes. They like the things.26:50 And so I I enticed them a little bit. If you get all age, you do good, you serve in church, I'll reward you. That worked for me. But it kinda backfired a little bit because the kid got all a's and I bought27:02 Jordans every other week and iPods and Apples and so forth. Right? But then I would sit down with him when his mom wasn't around because we're totally opposite and she just loves him. And as a a young black27:14 man, I would tell him and say, listen, you know, no excuses in life. It's opportunity, but you know, you gotta what you do now will affect you later. Okay? And then I said, you see27:26 dad serving at church? You're gonna serve at church. And if you guys remember years ago, we used to always dress alike too. Well, even in sports teams, every team dresses alike. I come from the corporate27:37 world, so you have a just say if it's electrician, you have an apprentice. So I just didn't tell them, I showed them. Dad was serving. Right? Dad shared miss mistakes that he made with them and spoke27:49 life into him. And then I had to pop that butt every now and then too. Right? And and to leak that to scripture, right, spare the rods for the child. Right? But it was out of love because I care. Because I28:01 didn't want him to be a statistic. I wanted him to to the the sky is unlimited for him. So my main problems came a little later. High28:13 school was great because he wanted everything. He had a car and so forth. I never forget when he came back from his first year of college. That was his first time away. The old folks say he began to smell himself.28:25 Alright? He came home. I know I had had a tracker on him, so I know everywhere he was at. But I said, don't care what you do. If you get home at 3, 4 in the morning, you're taking your butt to church and you're serving.28:36 And I remember I asked pastor Diego for a couple churches and so forth, and I'll be in church and looking to see and he's he get in at 3, but you better have your butt up at 6. So no matter what, parents, you need to and28:47 my what helps with me, I don't got it all together, but we stayed connected in church. We was active in church. My wife served in church. And then those times, I was transparent with my son because I care, because I want28:59 it. By not having a father, didn't wanna make the same mistakes. And the mistakes that I made younger, right, I didn't want him to make it. So we built only later, I became a little bit of29:11 a friend. But I wanted him to know I'm not your buddy. I'm your dad, and I care about you. Right? So that's some of the things that work for me, being transparent, you know, fatherly love, taking him and29:22 exposing him to things. Right? The good, bad, and the ugly.29:26 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. And and you spoke and people may not know because we got a lot of people newer to church because your son's out of college now. He's in the military, really gifted. But from29:38 junior high and high school, every Sunday, your your son would wear a matching suit with you. You guys would wear a matching suit, and you'd stand in that back row over there, and you would usher people to their seat,29:49 and he would just stand right next to you. And he would just run. You whatever you were doing, he was doing. You know? And everybody just knew that was junior. Like, dad had junior with him, and they they were gonna wear30:00 pretty much the same thing, same kind of tie, and you guys are just gonna serve together. But, you know, just knowing know knowing your son, it just he he God has really used him and become an incredible30:12 young man as well. And I think last year, he shared at our young adult night and just and just and just blew it away, you know, and really shared God's word incredibly. So, you know, thank thank you for setting that30:24 example over the years as well. What about30:30 Well30:30 Any any opinions or regrets? If you have regrets, it's sitting right here. The service of30:36 church so they know everything. But, you know, we had rules. We it was just we had rules. They knew they knew what the rules were. We tried to explain why we had30:47 rules, but they had a ton of structure in their lives. Now every 1 of them had different personalities, so they reacted and that's what we had to decide that30:59 we sometimes had to take them individually in how we teach them or how we discipline them because they were 3 different personalities. So Nathan was extremely31:11 compliant. I don't I don't ever remember him breaking a rule. And if he did, I'd say Nathan and he'd start crying. That was it. That was Nathan. Caleb was a little bit medium.31:23 He was a little bit medium and then we had Adam, which was like Betsy talking about. A lot of prayer. I mean, a lot of things like that going on. But31:35 there was a lot of structure, a lot of rules within the home, and I I just I didn't compromise with that. That was a reflection of my faith and how I would lead my family. So they31:47 know they never listen to secular music. They were not allowed, just as a rule, just as an example, they were not, they could listen to oldies music, but they couldn't31:59 let, or Christian music and they loved who'd who'd you Carmen and all that. Yeah. Yeah. DC Tom, all that stuff. There was there was a lot of that. And then and then when I then when I disciplined them,Show more
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