Skip to content FRIENDSHIP - SESSION 1 Aug 15 · 12 min ...more
August 15, 2026 · 12 min · Pray TV
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0:23 Welcome back from your study in session one of being God's man in pursuing friendship. In the head start section and in the connect with the word time, you were challenged to consider, some of you for the first time, the0:35 value of connection versus isolation. And I asked you directly, when an isolated man falls, what happens? Not a trick question. And let me tell you why.0:47 After talking with, counseling with, helping thousands of men, I've come to one inescapable conclusion about us guys, and and that is that the single greatest attack that you and I have to fear is0:59 isolation. Not so much physical isolation as much as being emotionally, relationally, and spiritually cut off from other men. And when you get underneath1:11 broken male culture, just a bit, what you're exposed to is a fairly lonely group of guys. How lonely you say? Well, a recent survey of men,1:23 only ten percent of men over thirty years of age reported that they had someone in their lives that they could call a true friend. But what does that mean? What's a true friend? It's someone they could talk to about1:33 their biggest life problems, their biggest issues, and their biggest pressures. Now, the irony of these and many, many other surveys on men is that1:45 men understand the value of having another man watching their back in just about every other way. But when it comes to the things that really produce pressure in their lives, that produce guilt, that1:56 produce problems, in their relationships, or maybe even produce shame. Men are trained not to talk about those things and get help from other guys.2:09 So it seems that on some level, even with friends we consider close, we're competing with something. Maybe it's an image that we have to maintain, and being honest would blow that image up. So2:21 we all keep these pressures, these issues, these problems to ourselves hoping and praying that somehow we'll be able to overcome the things that are defeating us. So here's2:33 my question. Okay? How's that going for us, guys? How's that going for you? Well, one thing I know from personal experience is living a public life with a public image you're2:44 putting out there, and then having private issues, private secrets that you struggle with, that life right there, that public private split, that's miserable. Okay? And the2:56 reason it's miserable is because you feel like an actor. You feel like a fraud. And not only that, you're sort of stuck between your public image and your private true self. And you know who's3:08 even more stuck? Christian guys. Because they have the added pressure of not just living up to an image that they have put publicly out there as followers of Christ.3:20 Now, they have this wall that has even come up higher because not only do they have the image, then they're a Christian, then the wall grows in their public private split,3:32 and they can't talk about what's really going on in their life. And these walls, between our real life and our image, those walls are not easily seen or torn down in male3:44 culture. Now think about it. We all know of some guy, some celebrity, some politician, some athlete that vigorously defended a lie about himself to protect3:55 their image. And then we watch them disintegrate in front of our eyes as the truth slowly comes out. So let's let's just say, I know that taking a4:07 risk to come to pursuing friendship can be a little bit scary. Why? Because in guy math, we invert it. Right? To judge ourselves and to judge others as4:19 well. If they're in that group called pursuing friendship, then that must mean they're a loser with no friends. But what you're gonna find out in this study is that it goes way beyond that kind of eighth4:31 grade prevalent thinking among men. See, I know that every guy in this study has relationships. I know that every guy in this study has4:42 acquaintances. Maybe even a circle of buddies, or in, you know, your world, a social network, or a business network. You might even have a group of guys that you're... You consider you're pretty tight with. But wherever4:53 you are on this friendship continuum, here's my questions. Are your friendships stretching you to greatness where it really counts? Are your friendships5:04 sharpening you spiritually? Does your wife or the woman in your life see your friendships as critical to her own well-being?5:16 Do your friendships keep you out of the muddy waters of moral compromise mentally and physically? Does your first circle of guys tell you always what you want to5:28 hear? Or is it healthy enough to tell you maybe sometimes what you need to hear? Do your friendships get you wins where you need them the most? Do your friends see who you5:40 really are? Do they know what skills God has given you and dreams you have and encourage you to reach higher and farther for those dreams? That is5:52 where this study is going. You see, guys, it's way bigger than a stupid fear that I might appear to be a loner. Right? It's about your performance as a man.6:04 You know, one of the most famous quotes on male connections ever written was by King Solomon when he said, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Sounds strong, doesn't6:16 it? But it also sounds a little uncomfortable because that is the picture of the observation. When you sharpen a blade, you need a sharpening stone made of something stronger than the metal that's being6:27 shaped. And today, that would mean aluminum oxide or diamond plated steel. Or maybe you have the image of a grinding wheel and the metal blade being pressed up and pressured and6:39 pushed into that grinding wheel sharpening the edges. K? I don't know what kind of picture comes to your mind, but these pictures represent sparks. Why sparks?6:50 Sparks are flying. Because metal on metal produces sparks and heat because there's friction and pressure connected to reshaping the blade for the task7:02 at hand. And so what was our new best friend in this study Solomon saying? He's saying, your friends are either gonna dull you to your goals or sharpen you to7:14 your goals and performance as a man. Just think about it. Where are you not performing as a man? Is it your moral life? Is it your relationships? Is it your7:26 spiritual life? So here's the big point of our study. God, he wants you sharp. And I'm gonna say that again. God wants you7:37 sharp. God wants peak performance according to his intention. God wants you slicing and dicing your way to significance and impact, but you're never gonna get there independently7:50 or accidentally. You're going to go to the next level interdependently and intentionally, or you're just going to try to do it by yourself.8:02 And as you take some risks, and trust me, and trust in some honest answers to some very hard questions, and most of all, trust God with this eight week process that we're going to be in,8:13 your life is going to transform in transform in some radical, radical ways. So so I'm gonna let you guys in on a little secret, and here it is.8:26 The margin of victory in your life is probably sitting right next to you in this group to your right or to your left. And this group, this experience that we're in, it's it's8:38 not gonna be one of those bless me clubs where you come and show up with the same guys eight weeks, three months, or a year later, and find that nothing has changed. You can go to a donut store or the cigar8:49 shop or a bar to not change and just keep showing up. But you're here because you wanted the next level of accountability and connection that provides9:01 some real value for you. You're here because you want the kind of friendships and accountability that both lift you up and leave a mark on you that9:13 you remember. So before I let you go to discussion, let me leave you with this. God's man is never instructed to self diagnose his own character. He's never9:24 asked to make self assessments or draw personal self based conclusion about his own condition. Why? Because the least objective person about you is you.9:36 You have a conflict of interest. You lack the objectivity and perspective to see the best about yourself, see the facts about yourself, or even see the problem. Now, here's the9:48 good news. Everybody's got blind spots. Amen? That only someone outside of us who is a man who understands what it means to be a man is positioned next to10:00 you to point out to you. And that's the way God designed it, and that's the way God wants it. You need friends, not fans. So what I want you to do is look around10:12 at your table or your group. Don't be too obvious because we don't want the guy next to you feeling a little weird. And while they may be a little undersized physically, what you're looking at is a10:24 offensive line spiritually that's gonna take you out of the red zones of your life. The places where you're stuck, the places where it's tough, the places where you're bogged down, the places where you're not making10:35 progress. And this offensive line around you in in the form of your brothers, they're gonna blow some holes open for you and bring you into the end zones of healthy10:47 manhood, healthy masculinity, and most importantly, they're gonna bring you into God's purpose. So in your connect with the group time, you're gonna hear a story about my buddy Hans and10:59 how he was that statistic I talked about. There's no true friend. Right? But God brought him out of isolation and into connection. So11:11 have a great discussion and welcome to being God's man and pursuing friendship. We're glad you're here.55.9K followers
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