Skip to content Bond of Peace Pt 2 Nov 1 · 29 min ...more
November 1, 2026 · 29 min · Pray TV
...more Show the full description Show less Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Support this leader
Liking this video? Support this ministry.
Give
Support this leader Liking this video? Support this ministry.
277K followers
Jim Graff is a respected pastor, leader, and author who loves helping people fulfill their unique
potential while finding their significance in Jesus Christ.
277K followers
The Priority of Love in Relationships 0:01 This program is made possible through the generous support of friends and partners of A Significant Life. Want more from A Significant Life? Visit us online at a significant life dot0:13 com and follow us on all our social media channels. There, you'll find weekly programs, archive messages, and exclusive features, inspiring hope and significance wherever you are.0:27 It's great to be with you again today on A Significant Life. And, Tamara, today, we're gonna learn what keeps relationships warm. Though the Bible says our natural desires cause us0:37 to war with one another.0:39 That's true. And that's important because if we're gonna help each other succeed more, we have to see things differently. But God's plan isn't worrying for our own way. It's unity. And today we'll learn how to experience0:51 that when it's hard.1:11 I wanna start with an intriguing question this morning, and that is what comes first? Is it love or is it marriage? Now being from a western culture, you probably think that that's a very1:23 simple question to answer because after all, we've written a nursery rhyme, haven't we, that first comes love and then comes marriage and then comes the baby in a baby carriage. But1:35 if you were from much of the world, you wouldn't think the same way. Recently, Tamara and I were with some very dear friends over in India, and they're very much in love. They can... You know, they're1:46 just so refreshing to be with. And Tamara asked them because their marriage was arranged. She said, how long did it take you guys to really fall in love? And they looked at each1:58 other, deliberated for just a moment, and then they said it took about seven years, and all of us started laughing around the table. Now that may sound funny until you think2:10 about the fact that in the United States, first marriages have a forty one percent divorce rate, and the average length of those marriages is eight years. So I wanna contend2:22 this morning that perhaps it's really love that needs to come first and then listen until we learn love, we're never going to have the marriage or the friendships that God wants us to2:34 have. The reality is it's very easy to battle, and it takes wisdom from God to blend relationships. And that's why Paul wrote in Colossians two verse one. He said, I want you to2:45 know how much I've agonized for you and for the church at Laodicea and for many other believers who've never met me personally. I want them to be encouraged, and I want them knit together2:58 by strong ties of love. So whenever we live in relationships that are encouraging, what happens is we start learning to live in relationships that have strong ties of3:09 love. And that's not easy to do with our sinful nature. We're naturally selfish people and that selfishness causes us to battle against each other instead of3:21 blending together well and forming the bond of peace that God calls us to. The reality is it's difficult when you have different passions, different personalities, different3:33 perspectives, and then you add our personal flaws that all of us have as people. And pretty soon, you don't feel like it's worth fighting for the bond of peace that God wants us3:45 to fight for in our life. And that's why Paul encouraged the Ephesians. In Ephesians chapter four verse one, he said, as a prisoner of the Lord, then I urge you to live a life that's worthy3:56 of the calling you've received. And then he gave us the four components of the bond of peace when he said, be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bear with one another in love.4:09 And then he challenged us to make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. And that Greek word make every effort is to promptly act in a way that moves4:20 things forward in life. Now the reality is that how many of you have ever been in this situation and what you did turned a mess into a bigger mess? Can I see your4:32 hand? You know, all of us have done that. There are times I've looked in the mirror and I prayed, god, why am I having so much trouble? And I realized until I fixed that dude in the mirror, the4:44 trouble wasn't gonna go away. And Paul's talking about that. He's telling us that the forming piece isn't gonna be easy, but here's the secret. Are we always doing what's going to4:56 move something forward in the best manner that it could be moved forward? And we're gonna learn from Jesus how to do that today, and we're gonna look at the lives of two people. One is Judas5:08 Iscariot who whenever he did something that embarrassed himself, he ended up ending his life because of what he did. The other person's Peter, and you gotta love Peter because5:20 he kept embarrassing himself over and over again. But you know what? He ended up becoming everything God called him to be because of what we're gonna learn about today. And that's what we're talking5:31 about today when Paul says he wants us to be gentle. The Greek word gentle is and it means to have a smallness in our eyes that enables us to depend5:43 well on other people. And this may help you that back in those days, they would use this Greek word when they talked about a horse trainer who had trained a wild stallion.5:55 And obviously stallions are very self willed, very stubborn horses. But whenever a horse trainer would train the stallion and he would help him realize, you know6:07 what? There's a better life you can have. We can have a mutually beneficial experience. And when he had that horse trained to the point that the horse would be tired from running and panting6:18 for water, but he wouldn't drink that water until the trainer told him that he could drink that water. At that point, they would say that this horse became gentle. He was now6:30 fully trained. And in the same way, we have a sinful nature, and what God wants us to do is he wants to train our sinful nature. So instead of living selfishly, we end6:42 up living in ways that cause God to bring out the best in one another's lives. So we're gonna answer two questions this morning. Number one, why does gentleness bring out greatness in us6:54 and other people? And here's the first reason, it's because it lives in touch with the feelings and the failings of people while still inspiring faith. Let's look at Jesus. Of course, it was the night he7:06 was being betrayed, and I'm always encouraged and challenged by how thoughtful and kind Jesus was. I mean, he he knew from Isaiah's prophecy that he was going to be7:18 facing the flogging, which they called half death. He knew after that he was gonna be crucified on a cross with a body that was so marred people could hardly even look at him. But still in that7:30 moment, Jesus was thinking about other people. He wasn't just thinking about himself. And we're told in John thirteen verse twenty one that Jesus was troubled in spirit as they were, taking the7:42 Lord's supper with him. And he testified, very truly I tell you that one of you is gonna betray me. And his disciples began to stare at one another at a loss to which7:54 one of them he meant. And Matthew's gospel makes us even clearer that when Jesus said, one of you is gonna betray me. The disciples started looking around and they said, is it me8:05 Lord? Is it me Lord? Every single one of them felt like they were capable of betraying Jesus in this very very trying hour of his life. And I think if we're honest, all of us8:17 are capable of betraying the people in our world as well. And we need to stop and we need to ask ourselves, what is it that causes us to betray one another the way that we8:29 do? Here's another interesting part of the story, because we're told next that one of them, the disciple who Jesus loved was reclining next to Jesus. So the Apostle John was sitting right8:41 beside Jesus and Simon Peter motioned to him and he said, ask him which one of us he means when he says somebody's gonna betray him. Now don't you just appreciate the subtlety8:53 and the kindness of Peter in that moment? Basically, he's saying, Lord, call him out. We all wanna know who this person is, but one of the things that's so interesting about Jesus is he never calls out9:05 Judas. He he just lets Judas kind of self select and realize that he's the one that's dealing with this heart of betrayal. And I'm convinced reading the gospels thatGentleness Trained by God 9:17 if Judas would have simply repented, that Jesus would have restored him after he handed him over to such pain and agony. And Jesus, even in this moment, was so9:29 gentle with every single one of his disciples. Now why is this important? Well, here's why, because we need people in our lives who know our flaws and they believe in us9:41 and they help us get through our flaws instead of letting us give up on our lives because of our flaws. All around us today are people who've given up because they have flaws,9:53 and the answer to this is the gentleness of Jesus. Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew eleven twenty eight. He said, I want you to come to me, all you who are weary and burdened. And he said, I'll10:05 give you rest. He said, take my yoke upon me and learn from me because I'm gentle and I'm humble in heart. And he said, you'll find rest for your souls. In other words, Jesus said, I want you10:17 to know that when you come to me, I don't expect you to be perfect. But what I wanna do is I wanna I wanna make some tender moments with you. I wanna help you reach some places of freedom10:29 and places of blessing you could never reach if if we weren't also good to each other. I want you to to understand that God didn't come to accuse you. God came to help you live10:41 the best life you could possibly live. And you know, most of you don't know my parents, but that's why I love my parents so much. I mean, most of you know I come from a a Catholic family. And when10:53 I was a kid, I I just think about how my mom, she would have that holy water container and it would be filled with water by my bedroom door every single day. And then they had11:05 a cross over the doorframe of my my bedroom, and it wasn't just a normal cross. Jesus was hanging on the cross when I walked out of the door. Now how many of you know if you sinned and you gotta look at11:16 Jesus hanging on the cross whenever you finish, that has some effect on you. Right? And then my mom would schedule my confessions every three months, man, like clockwork. I had to go tell the11:28 priest everything that I did wrong. And of course, the Bible says we're supposed to confess our faults to our friends and the people who are closest to us, but I can tell you my mother made me deal with my11:40 flaws, but they always did it within a spirit of faith. And that's our first application point today, and that is I wanna ask you, who's your friends who are gonna tell you what you need to11:52 hear and not just what you wanna hear because of your flaws? Who are your friends who are gonna believe in you and who are gonna strengthen you and stand with you in spite of your flaws?12:04 Now let's talk about the second part, and that is why does gentleness bring out the best in ourselves and in others? And first of all, it does it because it listens and it considers the best best interests12:16 of other people. Listen to Philippians chapter two where Paul wrote, therefore, if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, have any comfort from his love, have any common sharing in the12:27 spirit, have any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. What's Paul12:39 saying? He's saying if anybody in our church has been forgiven of your sin and you now are living a life free of that sin and God's helped you live in blessing beyond that sin,12:51 When you come to church, don't look down on anybody else. Don't even be in a hurry to come to church, and then just leave church without thinking of anybody else. But if God's done anything13:04 for you, I want you to slow down your life, and I want you to remember there are a lot of other people that God loves that he wants to do good things for. Can you say amen? Then he continues and13:15 he says this, and do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. In other words, if somebody steals your seat on Sunday morning, bless them. Can you say amen? And then he says,13:27 listen, in humility, value others above yourself, and don't look on your own interest, but each of you must look on the interest of others. How revolutionary this is when13:39 families come home, and we're not thinking about just us, but we're thinking about every single flawed person that God made a part of this family, and what can we do to help them fulfill13:51 the will of God. You know, last week I started a story that I'm gonna finish in our teaching this morning. It's a story of Saul and David. And when God first called Saul to be king, he was so14:03 humble. He hid his head in the baggage. He couldn't believe that God could do that in his life. But then the Holy Spirit gave him success. And pretty soon, Saul wasn't obeying14:15 God anymore, but he was disobeying. He was doing things his way, and it caused a lot of difficulty to be experienced all around him. God sent the prophet Samuel, and14:27 he said to Saul, I can't let you be king anymore because I I need my will to be done in Israel. And he anointed David, And David had the same supernatural power that brings blessing14:38 come on him, and we all know the story how when no soldier, even the bravest, would fight Goliath, David stepped up and he overcame that giant Goliath14:50 and he cut off his head. And in second in second Samuel eighteen, we pick up the story and it says David was talking to Saul because Saul wanted to know who this15:02 brave kid was who had just beaten Goliath. And it says as he was talking to Saul, the king, Jonathan, who was Saul's oldest son became one in spirit with David, and he loved15:14 him as himself. And from that day, Saul kept David with him, and he wouldn't let him return home to his family. And the Bible tells us Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him15:26 as himself. Now here's my question. Why would the Bible, point us to the reality of covenant at this point in the story of David and Saul? And I'm gonna tell you why if you15:38 were an Israelite, you were taught that relationships aren't to be casual. They're not just to be convenient. But whenever we enter into relationship, we're to have covenant relationships. It's why15:50 whenever we get married, we have, you know, groomsmen and and and bridesmaids. We're reminding ourselves that our vows aren't taken lightly, but our vows are taken in the sight of God. And16:01 in the days of Israel, they would literally kill an animal, and they would cut that animal in two. And the people would stand between the two parts of that dead animal, and16:13 they would make a covenant to one another. And here's what they were saying. They were saying that if we fail to obey God, if we don't do the things that God's asking us to do, then you know16:25 what? Something's gonna die just like this animal is dead. And sadly all around us love is dying because we don't know how to live in covenant with one another. And it happened with16:37 David and Jonathan because Jonathan, you can read later in first Samuel twenty three seventeen, he knew that God had spoken to him that David was to be the16:49 next king of Israel, but Jonathan was to be second in command to David. And then Michael was Saul's youngest daughter, and she and David met in first Samuel17:01 eighteen. And when they met, they fell in love, and God endorsed that beautiful marriage. But you know what? The selfishness of Saul caused Jonathan to say17:12 no to his covenant with David. He was fighting with his father whenever the Philistines killed both him and his father. And Jonathan lost a third of his life. He died because17:24 you know what? Saul wanted to live a selfish life instead of honoring God's covenant within his family. Michael, who was the youngest daughter had, you know, her father destroy the emotion of that17:36 marriage, give her to another man. Later, David became king and he he said, I want my wife back. But you know what? She... They never recovered emotionally and she died17:48 childless because people didn't honor covenant and they didn't love the way that Jesus called us to love. That's why we're called to gentleness. When we're gentle, we remember that this18:00 person isn't just somebody with feelings, and this isn't just a person who's having a failure. This isn't just somebody who has a flaw. This is somebody God loves and God believes in that I'm talking to right now.18:11 Can you say amen? And if Saul had treated things differently, things would have come out so differently. Think of how merciful God was to Saul when he said, Saul, you won't18:23 obey me, but you know what? I'm gonna let your son be second in command to the new king of Israel. I'm gonna let your daughter be the future queen of Israel. Just quit doing things18:35 your way and messing everything up so bad. And that's why God calls us to gentleness because when when we're gentle, we start serving the best interest of other people.18:47 So here's our application point today. Who are we being demanding with that God has called us to be understanding with? I wanna read the third beatitude Jesus shared this morning inGentleness Listens to Others' Interests 18:59 Matthew five five. He said, blessed are the gentle for they will inherit the earth. Now we don't think that way, do we? We think, well, you know, blessed are the determined and blessed are19:11 the the people who are, you know, I'm gonna get it done kind of people. And surely there are scriptures that encourage us to live with determination, but Jesus said blessed are the gentle. In other19:23 words, if we don't have the people on our team wanting to move forward with us for the long haul, we're never gonna inherit most of the important things that God causes us to care19:35 about on the inside of our heart. So God wants us to be gentle. We need to write friends in our life. I like what Mark Twain said. He said, we need mentors and friends who know19:47 know how to tell us what we don't know, and he said, we also need some who will tell us what we think we know that just ain't so. How many of you know what he's talking about? See, we all live flawed lives, and we need19:58 people who we know care about us enough to address the flaw, but with faith, they can get us down the road into God's best. So first of all, gentleness20:10 changes things because it begins to listen and and live conscious of the best interest of other people. Then here's the final thing, gentleness learns to communicate in ways that bring out the best20:22 in others. I'd encourage you to to read John's gospel in chapter thirteen because Jesus is so gentle. I mean, he won't call Judas out, but what he'll do is he'll just kinda let20:34 Judas self select. He didn't let Peter call Judas out, but Jesus was very sensitive. Why? Because, listen, when you're harsh, pretty soon people are hiding their sins20:45 instead of letting you help them with their sins. When we're harsh, people that we could be a blessing to end up keeping distance from us instead of, you know, being dependent on us when they need20:57 us the most. And when Jesus says blessed are the gentle, here's what he's really saying, that it's not all about, you know, determination, and it's not all about, you know, doing your best that brings you21:09 success in life, but a big part of success in life is we have to learn to depend on God better, and we have to learn to depend on the people that God puts in our world. So let me encourage you21:21 this morning. Were you thinking about ending something? Are you just so tired about this addiction that you're about to the point that you don't even want to fight this addiction anymore? Let me encourage you. Don't go21:32 the the route of Judas. Go the route of Peter. Let God keep loving you and I promise you he will bless your life more than you ever dreamed.21:44 Your life could be blessed. Amen? Maybe it's your marriage. Listen, it's not all about determination. It's about dependence. Who you gonna learn from so God can fulfill his will in your21:56 life? You know, it's interesting that after Judas left and he went on to betray Jesus, that Peter stood up and he was so self assured. He looked at Jesus22:08 and he said, Lord, I'm gonna follow you. He said, I'll lay down my life for your sake. And Jesus answered him and he said, are you really gonna lay down your life for my sake? No. Most assuredly22:20 I say to you that the rooster shall not crow till you've denied me three times. Now a rooster is symbolic of light overcoming darkness. A rooster is22:31 what you hear crowing in the morning if you're a farmer whenever light comes. And Jesus used this analogy for a reason, and that is whenever darkness is surrounding us, listen,22:44 we we can't deny the Lord. We have to accept the Lord when we're in our dark time. And if we accept the Lord, well, what he's gonna do is he's gonna turn our darkness into light. Can you say amen? And Jesus was telling22:55 Peter in this statement, Peter, when you're in your darkest moment, I want you to know you can depend on me. And think about it, in less than twenty four hours, Peter was corrected by Jesus at the23:07 feet washing service. We talked about that last week. Then Jesus, today, he's cautioned about having an inflated opinion of himself when the subject of betrayal was being discussed.23:19 In our next message in this series, we're gonna talk about how Peter fell asleep whenever Jesus was facing his greatest trial in the Garden of Gethsemane, and then how he cut off the ear of the high23:31 priest servant whenever, you know, he... Jesus, he didn't want them to fight and Jesus ended up healing that that high priest servant's ear. And then we'll finish by talking about howGentleness Communicates to Bring Out the Best 23:43 Peter went on, even though Jesus warned him. He said, now Peter, you're not all that. You're gonna make some mistakes. And Peter went on to to live that that that prophecy of flaw that Jesus23:55 shared with Peter in that in that important moment of his life. But I just wanna encourage you that here's the message. Why do we need to be gentle with each other? Because when we're dependent on24:07 God and one another the right way, God moves us forward into blessing that we're not gonna make it into if we live distant from each other and uncaring about each other's needs24:19 instead of living dependent on God and dependent on each other. And I wanna close with this story because it's not easy to do. When Andrea was getting married, who's our oldest child, Tamara and24:31 I decided we were gonna learn to dance like Tedrick and Angela, and like, you know, Mark and Melody Bohawk. I mean, those people can dance. So we took some dance lessons, and you may not know this, but24:43 Tamara was a cheer captain of five a Humble High School up in Houston. So the girl can move. And I was, you know, I was an athlete, and so I thought, well, I can move pretty good too. And it24:55 wasn't long until this old disco boy, thank God I got saved, and the... This cheerleader leader girl... We were... It just wasn't working, guys. And you know why it wasn't working? I thought I should be25:07 leading. She thought she should be leading because she thought she was more coordinated than me. And finally, I looked at her and said, the Bible says, submit to your husband. And she looked25:18 back at me and she said, it also says, submit you one to another. And you wanna know the truth? It didn't get joyful until we learned to be gentle. And we got in25:30 in the move, and we got in the groove. And I'm not gonna kid you. I still got a lot of work to do y'all. But let me ask you something. Unity's work, but is it worth it?25:43 Is it worth it to live devoted and dependent and close instead of distant? How many of you know when we do what Jesus asked us to do, great dreams start coming true. Amen?25:56 Come on. Let's give him another good hand clap this morning. Can we do it?26:06 America is at a crossroads with decisions to make that will undoubtedly affect generations to come. This reality can feel overwhelming even unsettling. But when tomorrow appears unclear, our hopes26:18 lie in focusing on today. What can we do today to build a faith that stands the test of time? This is the question Jim Graf answers in his new book, Rock Eight Steps to26:30 Living Blessed and Leaving Behind What Matters. Jim combines biblical accounts, personal experience, and practical application to teach us how to build a lasting faith that will inspire the generations to26:41 come. Scripture says that those who remain with God prosper throughout every season. So, ever changing political and cultural climate, let's rely on the one who never changes. Today,26:53 you could start or continue building a rock solid faith, one that will stand forever. Reserve your copy of Rock Solid Faith now, your gift of any amount, at a significant life27:05 dot com.27:08 Hi. I'm Jim Graff, founder of Significant Life. Do you wanna listen to our messages, podcasts, or prayers without interruption? Then subscribe to Jim Graff's premium channel on pray dot com.27:19 When you do, you unlock all all of our a significant life content and get to listen to it ad free, all while supporting a significant life as we help others discover their unique God given27:31 significance. So join us in consuming faith filled content that enhances significance ad free by subscribing on the pray dot com app today. Visit pray dot27:43 com slash jim graph to sign up, download the app, and get access to all of our content.27:49 It's also an incredible way to grow your daily prayer habit, giving you full access to pray dot com original content and deeply encouraging meditative prayer series. Best of all, your28:01 monthly subscription helps fund the work where God is helping people discover how to live a significant life all over the world.28:10 Why am I here? It's a question we've all asked. And at a significant life, we want to help you find the answer. A significant life dot com offers resources that will help you grace your unique28:22 destiny. Visit us today at a a significant life dot com.In this video 0:00 The Priority of Love in Relationships9:10 Gentleness Trained by God18:50 Gentleness Listens to Others' Interests23:40 Gentleness Communicates to Bring Out the BestComments No comments yet. Start the conversation.
Comments
Keep it kind. Comments are public.