Surviving Prison and Turning Your Life Around - Jeff Osborne
[00:00:00] Steve Gatena: Welcome to Pray.com's Relentless Hope, a podcast that'll help you love your life, lead with purpose, and leave a legacy of helping others. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I'm your host, Steve Gatena. Let's get started with today's episode of Relentless Hope.
[00:00:25] Right after his 18th birthday, Jeff Osborne was incarcerated in LA County Jail and had to fend for his life after one of the Century's biggest race riots occurred on his cell block.
[00:00:41] Jeff Osborne: So while I'm there in '05, I'll never forget it was the, uh, it was the Saturday before Superbowl Sunday. And they call count time. When they call count time. I'll never forget the moment where we were rushed by Hispanic gang members and it was the year where there was one of the largest race riots against the blacks or African Americans and Hispanic gang members.
[00:01:02] And I remember fighting for my life in the middle of it, and I'm fighting for my life when these other members hitting me and out the corner of my eye, I see a shiny piece of object and, and it's another gang member. And I feel it cutting into my neck. And I have a scar on the right side of my neck where, where I could feel the razor blade beginning to cut into my neck.
[00:01:20] And the only thing I could yell out was Jesus. And I hear
[00:01:23] Boom.
[00:01:28] Steve Gatena: In part one of this three part series on Relentless Hope. We are gonna take a look into the life of Jeff Osborne from Indio, California. From Homelessness to Prison riots, Jeff found his purpose on a rollercoaster journey of faith. We start with Jeff as a young kid growing up in Huntington Beach, California.
[00:02:00] Jeff Osborne: What I love about my dad is that my dad really, really was an affectionate father. He, he, he really was the type of father that would, uh, constantly tell us that he loved us and he was strict in his discipline. Um, and, and many times, you know, I didn't agree with it, but at the end of the day, uh, I can say that a lot of the different characteristics that I have and different things that I've learned and the drive that I have, , came as a result of that.
[00:02:24] And so, I'm proud of doing that. But, but there was a moment I think in my life that really began to shift things for me. And I'll never forget, it was a moment I was in the, I was going into the sixth grade and, um, and growing up in the sixth grade, you know, my father was in the Marine Corps. He worked on, um, um, Northrop on building helicopters and all that when he got out and, and.
[00:02:45] In the midst of all of that, things began to happen and my father ended up losing his job and he started a company and, and things were going good, but in the middle of all of it, like in a split second, something happened that just completely changed my life. I'll never forget it was a knock on the door.
[00:02:59] And, uh, I have two older brothers who are twins and I have a younger sister. And when we heard the knock on the door, I opened it up and it was a sheriff. And, uh, when the sheriff was outside, he, he said, you know, it's this, the Osborne residence. I said, yeah, my father came to the door and basically what had happened was there was a company that was supposed to do some modifications for, uh, the loan and restructure that for the house that we, they had bought, and it was a scam.
[00:03:22] And so basically what had happened without my parents knowing, they deeded over the house to this company and they took it from us. And I remember he said, you had two hours to get outta your house. And in a minute we went from living this life in Huntington Beach from catching the bus 29 down Beach Boulevard and skating to, to now with all of our stuff and, and bags and trying to figure out what's going on.
[00:03:43] And, and I remember us having to give away our, our dog and, and, and as the dog drove away, Patcher, I remember looking at the, looking around and saying, well, what's going on? And my parents couldn't really, uh, explain to us. And so, um, time began to go forward and as time began to go forward, they said, Hey, you're gonna, Sleep at your aunt's house across the street.
[00:04:01] And so we were sleeping there and I could not, I ran, I'll never forget the next day that I woke up. I was wondering when I looked across the street how I couldn't go home. And so as I began to come to school, that was the catalyst for me that really began this, this, uh, uh, this inferiority complex that I had where it led me to a season of my life where I began to really just make up just lies about who I was and where I was.
[00:04:26] Because I couldn't come to grasp, I couldn't grasp the fact that, that we were homeless. And as a young boy and the sixth grade with a younger sister who was in the fifth grade, and my two older brothers, I couldn't understand how my parents, who loved God and how my parents who serve God, uh, would, would be in a situation where they were.
[00:04:43] And so it went from, Like that, that began to really just, just allow me to be in a place where I started creating this, this other person, if you will, where I would tell crazy lies because I wasn't happy with who I was. I wasn't happy with the life that I was living. Uh, like many people now, I, I found myself in the sixth grade just not understanding why we were sleeping.
[00:05:03] Six of us were sleeping in the back of a 1992 Lexus. And in moments where my parents would, would, would, when we could afford it, we would be in a motel and, and all of us sleeping and crammed on the floor. And my dad, uh, Would begin to ride his bike to work because we didn't have the stuff that was needed to put gas.
[00:05:20] We didn't have money to put gas in the car. And so I remember nights when my dad would come home and, and when my dad would begin to come home, I, I, I would watch him come into the room and just begin to cry as he watched all four of his kids crammed on the floor. And I remember my mom, uh, pretended like she wasn't hungry so that we could eat that day.
[00:05:38] And I remember mornings when I would wake up with my little sister and we had to catch the bus 29 from Buena Park and go an hour and a half all the way down to Fountain Valley just so that we can go to school. And her looking at me like she was hungry and trying to find out what I can do to kind of get that food for her.
[00:05:52] And, and I, and I begin to ask myself, man, is, is this what life is about? Is this is what following God is about? That I don't want anything to do with this God we were homeless for, for so long and, and eventually, Through that time I began to just kind of go into sports as my outlet go into skateboarding as my outlet.
[00:06:10] And all the time I was angry at God. I was mad at God because I was like, man, what? What kind of God is this? And I would watch my parents faithfully still serve and it was faithfully still believe in God. And, and it caused just this confusion for me, cuz how could a God be so good? Right? And, and you still be in this situation and feel so much pain.
[00:06:27] And in the midst of us growing up, it was a season in that the, the time of homelessness that we really raised ourselves as latchkey kids. The only way that I thought I
[00:06:35] could be accepted because I desired it, I, I desired acceptance. And that's the, I don't care what anybody says, no matter what your color is, no matter what your race is, everybody wants acceptance.
[00:06:44] And, and, and when I was in that situation where it was hard for me to really gain that for myself, I began to look for it in a negative light. I didn't care what it was. If somebody was gonna give me affirmation, whether it was good or bad, my heart was longing for that as a young man. And although my dad gave me the affirmation and, and always told me he loved me, there was something about me learning how to have my voice, learning how to figure out who I am and where I fit in this world, that really began to charge me to look at other avenues.
[00:07:10] And, and so around my. My, my, my senior year, I just turned to 18 and this is where my whole life took this dramatic turn. And, and really where all of my lessons began to go is that I was hanging out with some guys and, and, uh, we thought it was a good idea to go out to, to LA to get some tattoos. And, and in the midst of us getting LA we, we just were doing stuff that was just stupid, you know, being young punks in the car.
[00:07:32] And I basically made some bad decisions. And a long story short, that night we got arrested for six armed robberies and attempted murder, and I was the getaway driver. And in the midst of all of this stuff, my desire to be accepted drove me to a place where I was doing things that were beyond. My moral compass, it was beyond who I was.
[00:07:50] It was beyond everything that I believed in, but I just wanted that acceptance so bad that I just went along with it. We get arrested and as I get arrested, I'm in the substation and the officer's like, you know, why are you robbing people? And I said, I never got out. It wasn't me. And, and, um, And so what I didn't know is that while we were there in LA we were at the Tattoo, I was at the tattoo parlor.
[00:08:08] They asked to use my car to get some chips and soda in addition to the stupid stuff we're doing, but they pulled two additional robberies and, uh, with a gun. And, um, and, and when they, they had that moment where it happened, I'm, I'll never forget it because I get back in the car, we're driving and it was a moment where we, we tried to get this guy for his jacket and one of the guys hopped out the car, tried to steal his jacket, and the guy maces him.
[00:08:30] And I'm driving the car and he goes, turn around, turn around. So I turn around and he's hanging out the right side passenger window, and the guy's probably about 20 yards in front of us. And I'm driving, I, there's no thought in my head. And he's leaning out the car where the 22 revolver and he's pulling the trigger and the gun doesn't go off.
[00:08:45] The guy disappears. And shortly after that, we get arrested and as I get charged with it, they sit me there and they're like, Hey, you got a clear record. You're good to go. You're 18. The guys were the ones who identified, um, although you were a driver, it wasn't that bad the next day, because I was 18 years old, uh, they said, uh, Mr.
[00:09:02] Osborne, we got a deal for you. And I said, well, what's the deal? They said, we're offering you 16 years to life. I said, 16 years to life. And they said, well, your crime, he's getting 32 years to life, so you might as well be happy. And I said, you know, I'll take it. And they're like, what? I said, you do half and I'm gonna do half.
[00:09:17] And uh, they looked at me like I was crazy. Like, you know, my lawyer was like, you know, this doesn't work like that. I said, no, no. This is my first time. And so I'll never forget the moment where I really believe that God really entered my life. I was 18 years old. October 13th, 2005. I was on my knees in Culver City substation.
[00:09:34] And I said, okay, God, I'm done running. Whatever it is you have for my life, I'll follow it. You gotta show me that you're real though. I'll inhale everything in this book. And I had a Bible and I was like, everything that's in this book, I will inhale it, but you need to show me that you're real because I need you right now.
[00:09:49] And so they sent me to LA County Jail. LA County Jail is one of the hardest jails in the nation. And they say that if you could survive LA County Jail, you could survive any level four prison yard. And while I went there, I'm young, I'm 18 years old, you know, I've never been locked up a day in my life and I'm in there and I'm scared outta my mind.
[00:10:05] And reality hit that my desire to be accepted led me down a path with people that really didn't care about me. And as I fought. Fought for my case time after time. I found out that the police officers at that time, um, said, well, look, he's the 18 year old, so if you guys say that you guys were coerced by them, by him and, and said that he made you do it, that you get off Scott free and we'll put all the weight on him.
[00:10:27] And the other one who was 18, and that's what happened. The guys who identified guys who I thought they were my friends, they were on my basketball team, football team, they all turned on me and said it was me. And so the deal was 16 years to life. My, the Crimee who. One of my friends, they offered him 32 years to life.
[00:10:43] And I remember fighting my case when I was in there. And as I was fighting my case, I'll never forget that I said, okay, God, I'm in one of the most violent places ever. I'm in the gang bang module, which is the hardest 2000 floor in LA County Jail at that time. And um, and I remember looking at all of this devastation around me.
[00:10:58] I began to look at all of the, the, the people and the hopelessness that was there. And I made a decision right there. I would use God's word. I would use whatever I could to just teach myself, to grow and say, Hey, look, I, I, I can become something great here even though I'm surrounded by all of this chaos, all of this stuff.
[00:11:14] And I remember while I was in, there was like another world where every morning that I looked at my bars, I was reminded of my sin. Every morning that I looked up, I was reminded of all of the, the choices that I made. That that, that the acceptance of the wrong people really led me into a place of having wrong relationships.
[00:11:30] And, uh, so while I'm there in oh five, I'll never forget it was the, uh, it was the Saturday before. Uh, Chris, uh, was a Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday and they called count time. And when they count count time, I'll never forget the moment where we were rushed by Hispanic gang members. And it was the year where there was one of the largest race riots against the blacks or African Americans and Hispanic gang members.
[00:11:54] And I remember fighting for my life in the middle of it and from these other members hitting me. And out the corner of my eye I see a shiny piece of object and, and it's another gang member. And I feel it cutting into my neck and I have a scar on the right side of my neck where. Where I could feel the razor belly beginning to cut into my neck and the only thing I could yell out was Jesus.
[00:12:13] And I hear, boom. And I look to my right, he's laid out on the floor, but nobody's around me. And there were moments like this that, that, that I knew that God was just showing me these tiny little things or that that was a big thing. But these tiny little God moments, these kisses from heaven, that would remind me, Hey son, I'm here for you.
[00:12:29] Hey son, I'm walking with you. And, and through this time there was a story, uh, that was a big story that really began to, to catapult my life and. And it was a story of this man who, who, who had a name, and I won't, I can't share his name because I don't know if it's, you know, affiliation, but he was one of the head generals, a Nazi Lowrider prison gang.
[00:12:46] And my life was kind of like Joseph where God exalted me all the way to the highest position, which was laundry. So I got to push around carts and, you know, get the food that the officers ate. And, and so God kinda like elevate, I got the crispy new, you know, uniforms and, and new little, uh, kung fu jack slip on shoes that were fresh.
[00:13:03] So I, you know, you still gotta stay clean when you in there. And, uh, but he was the one who was pushing with me and, and we're sitting across the table from one another waiting for the officers to come and give us our tray of food. And I'm looking at him like, man, you know, you seem very stressed out man.
[00:13:15] You seem really stressed. And, and he looked up at me, man, like this chocolate boy lost his mind. He doesn't know who does he know who he's talking to? I'm the head general, the Nazi Lowrider prison gang. He has swastikas the size of my head and lightning bolts symbolizing, he killed blacks. And, and, and, and he looked at me and he goes, man, you would be two if you had 27 felony counts against you.
[00:13:34] And I said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got me on that one. Absolutely. And, and in the midst of all of that, he was like, I said, well, hey, I know a great lawyer. He was like, what? I said, man, he knows the judge. He knows the DA. He's connected with everybody here in LA. And he's like, man, I don't have any money for that.
[00:13:50] And I said, no, no, he's pro bono. And he was like, well, who is he? And I said, Jesus. And he looked at me with the craziest look in his eyes, like, oh, I know this boy lost his mind. And as time began to progress, he began to ask me a little more about it and a little more, and a little more. And I remember the time where he used to draw portraits so that he could, you know, make his living.
[00:14:12] And it got to a point where he lost everything. He didn't have any more drawing utensils, he didn't have anything. And he became one of my best friends in there. And I ended up taking, asking Nadia, my wife, to take all of my. And put it on his booking number. And I said, Hey, go to court. And he goes, well, am I gonna, I said, go, go to the store.
[00:14:28] And he goes, well, why would I go to the store? And I said, man, come on. Fill out your commissary things. I have no money. I said, come on, you know my god's in the miracle business. And he said, no. He said, finally, okay, fine, preacher, boy, I'm gonna fill it out. So he finally filled it out and when he filled it out, it was this moment where, where I said, but when you fill it out, fill out like you're expecting to get something great.
[00:14:47] He says, okay. Because oftentimes when we don't have a lot, you find that we begin to minimize what God can do when he really wants to maximize stuff in our life. We sell ourselves short, uh, when God wants us to, to go for the long game. You know, go for the big thing. And so finally he fills it out. He goes, look, preaching boy, here it is.
[00:15:02] You know, he finally fills it out. And I love how God has a sense of humor because that wins that commissary, they call store. When they call store, they end up, you know, they end up, uh, calling everybody's name except his. And when they call everybody's name except his, uh, he looks at me and he's like, all right, see preacher boy, you know what use is your God.
[00:15:18] And I'm just sitting on my back bunk reading my Bible, and, and as I'm reading my Bible, they finally call his name. And when they call his name, this massive bag gets pushed through the bars
[00:15:29] and
[00:15:30] he's stuck. And he's just staring at me, and he walks over to me slow, and he's shaking and there's tears that are in his eyes.
[00:15:38] And he asked me the question. He says, preacher boy, how did you know? And I'm just staring at him. He goes, my own people wouldn't do this for me. He said, I've killed your people and you would do this for me. I remember the words that came out of me as if it was yesterday. The only thing I said was because my God did it for me, and he shook his head and he walked away.
[00:16:03] Later on that night, he came up to me and said, Hey, preacher boy. I said, what's up? He says, whatever it is you have. I want and it was in that moment that I led him to the Lord. And it was that moment that he accepted Christ. And the next day he went to court, 25 of the 27 counts got dropped. He had proof to show the other two weren't him, and it got released just like that.
[00:16:24] And it was moments like that that begin to show me the power behind the love of Christ and, and how God's love will go do bigger than any type of theology or Greek or Hebrew words that you got, you could try to throw at somebody or bash 'em over the head with the Bible. What changed? What got his heart in a position where he could receive the same God that was in the place where I was at.
[00:16:42] Was one word and the word was love. And I love that because love is the most powerful thing. People die because of it. People die out of a lack of it or they'll kill for it. It's something that we all needed in that moment. Whether he had lightning bolts all over his body or or swastika was something that he saw that finally somebody who didn't look like me, who I persecuted, showed me the unconditional love of God.
[00:17:03] And because of that, his life was forever changed. And fast forwarding, I get to this place where they say, Mr. Osborne, you know we got this great deal for you. I said, what's up? Last time you guys told me 16 years to like this said, no, no, no. If you go to trial, you'll get off Scott free, but your crime will get 32 years to life.
[00:17:16] This whole time I'm hearing from God and I was like, man, what do I do by my crime? Me wasn't gonna make it in there. He was claiming stuff in gangs that he wasn't from and, and things weren't safe, and he almost lost his life a few times in there. And so I said, man, what do I do? What do I do? So I was praying, and when I went to go Pray was the Thursday before Easter Sunday, 2006.
[00:17:34] I said, God, what do you want me to do? and I hear nothing. And I remember I was so mad. I said, God, how is it that I'm doing everything you've asked me to do? How is it that I'm praying for people? They're getting off. People are, you know, I know I admitted my faults and all this stuff, but these people were open blatantly like you know, doing dirt and you let them free, but yet I'm still here.
[00:17:53] And so I remember I went back and, and I was in my dorm and I was debating whether or not I was gonna give up on God. I said, God, I've done everything you've asked me. And all of a sudden now this silence of, of like where I was at, I remember him saying to me, you remember when you said you wanted to be an evangelist?
[00:18:09] I said, yeah. He says, you don't put in requests where you want to go. And it was that moment that I knew what I had to do. So I called my mom up. I said, mom, if they give Rob a decent deal, I'm gonna take whatever they give me. And she goes, baby, but there's a race right in there. What if you die as a result of this?
[00:18:24] You have the opportunity to get out. And I say, well mom, then I die a martyr because somebody needs to know who my God is. And they need to know that Jesus loves them unconditionally. And that day I, the next day I went to court and they dropped him from 32 years to life to four years, what? 85%. 16 years to life was my deal.
[00:18:41] And they sent me to Chino State Prison, a strike and a felony. When I got to Chino State Prison, I had lost every scholarship up to that point. College coaches were writing letters on my behalf trying to get that out. But nothing worked and I didn't understand God. And even as a young man, I found myself back at that place when I was in the sixth grade, when I was looking at all of our trash bags in the front of our house, trying to figure out why I couldn't go home.
[00:19:03] I found that little boy, the same one who was right in front of me, like, God, why can't I go home? And they threw me in solitary confinement. I was locked down for three months and pitch black. They wouldn't give me any utensils to eat. I had to eat with my hands. They took everything from me except my Bible.
[00:19:20] And I feel like, dude, that was the worst thing the enemy could have ever done because I'm. There was a little sliver of light up against a concrete wall, and I have scars all over the left side of my face where my cheek would become raw because I would push my cheek against the wall just so I can read God's word just so I can get some type of life in me.
[00:19:37] Because what I loved is that no matter where I was, you know, like Paul says, although I'm chains. You know, I'm free. And, and I love how the Bible says that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, there is freedom. And so I found this freedom in the midst of one of the darkest places of my life.
[00:19:52] I found this freedom to recognize that, that, that, that where I was isn't who I was because who I was was greater than where I was. And, and, and although I looked at my bars, I be, I began to believe crazy things. I began to believe God, you know what? You can turn it around. I know I signed my deal. I know I'm in prison right now, but, but I know you can do it, even though I was locked down 23 hours a day.
[00:20:13] Uh, or I mean 24 hours a day, eating with my hands and having a little sliver of light. The Lord really just kept my mind sane because I began to read that word and begin to speak words of affirmation over my life. This man, I'm gonna get out. And I began to envision where I could go and the lives of people that I would change.
[00:20:29] And the, the people next to me would laugh at me. The guards would laugh at me and they would say, dude, you're stupid. You're not going anywhere. Your life is never gonna change. Do you see where you're at? You're in a prison jumpsuit and your life isn't gonna change or get any better. And, and through that, I began to just still do what I do best.
[00:20:43] And that's the pour to the lives of people. It was funny how the same thing that happened when I was a young boy, my love for people, no matter where they were, was the very thing that kept me sane when I was in prison. And 11 and a half months into my sentence, uh, they moved me to a level four prison yard.
[00:20:57] And from my cell, I could see my, uh, I could see my parents' neighborhood where they lived. And it was the worst feeling to feel like you were so close to home. And yes, so far, and. I remember looking at the car. Could that be them? It it, maybe that's them. I wonder if they remember me. I wonder if they, they, they, you know, are, are they writing letters for me?
[00:21:18] And, and it was that loneliness that I felt. And I remember I was there on the top of my bunk and I would begin to cry and I said, God, I just need. a hug. I had no interaction, no, no letters. They pulled that from me. I said, God, would you just hug me? And I remember I felt this warmth come over my body and it braced me like crazy.
[00:21:35] And I just began to cry. It was that moment that I really felt like God had embraced me in the midst of my worst pain. Where I began to realize not only is love powerful, but even when you make a mistake that God never holds it against you, but he loves you in the midst of where you are and through where you are.
[00:21:50] And um, as I heard my sister's graduation music, I couldn't be there for her, my baby's sister. And, and through this whole thing and through this whole ordeal, 11 and a half months in, they say, ah, it's gonna roll it up. And I said, what, where am I going? I said, you're going back up to court. And I said, back up to court.
[00:22:04] So I go back up to court. When I go back up to court, they say, um, they say, I said, well, why am I going to court? They said, well, I don't know. So they send me all the way back up to LAX courthouse and I said, go back up to LAX courthouse. I, I'm in there and the race riots happen again. And I said, look, God, if you don't move, I'm gonna die.
[00:22:20] There's no way I'm gonna get outta this. We were outnumbered by the Hispanic gang members and they pulled me out. It was like this saving grace. And I remember going in there and, and, and when I went in there, they told me, okay, well Mr. Osborne, you gotta wait for this recess. So they sent me back to the cell.
[00:22:33] And when they went to the holding tank, and I remember I was sitting there and I was stressed out. And I remember this, this, this, this old school gangster, we call him an OG. Uh, he was there and he said, Hey, preacher boy, why you stressed out? I said, man, I, I don't know if I'm gonna live. And he said, what did you always teach us preacher boy? Don't look to the bigness of your problem. Look to the bigness of your God. And he said, look at me. I was, you know, I'm, I'm, I was supposed to get 25 years. and now I'm only serving five. He said, God showed me grace and all of my addiction and all of my problem where I shouldn't have had a second chance, but they granted me a second chance at life.
[00:23:10] And I don't know about you, but I wasn't rejoicing over even five years. I was like, well, shoot if that's for you, you know, to each man his own. But, but it was amazing opportunity for him to say that and to remember, I didn't even know this guy and I didn't know he had heard me, or he was listening or he was watching me, but in the end, he, he quoted something that I had spoken to his life and caught along the way.
[00:23:28] And so I, I postured myself different. I went from stressing to getting on my knees and saying, God, look, you can do all things. I believe your word. Whatever you have for me is for me. And so what ended up happening was I go back in the judge says. Mr. Osborne, upon reviewing your letter, and I said what letter?
[00:23:46] He says, you have a letter on your behalf from the assistant warden of Chino State Prison. I never saw the man, never met the man, never shook his hand. He said, this is a good man, a young man who hit a bump in the road.
[00:23:57] Let him go.
[00:24:01] And when I should have served 16 years to life, I served 11 and a half months.
[00:24:05] They gave me a strike and a felony, but the same DA who my attorney said is the hardest DA in all of la And I told him, Hey man, you know, I believe God can do it. He goes, no, I believe in God, but God ain't gonna touch the heart of this da. This same DA looked me in my face. And said, Mr. Osborne, I'm proud of you.
[00:24:20] Don't make these mistakes again. Watch who you hang out with. Go home. And on July 17th, 2006, I walked out of, uh, walked from prison outta LAX courthouse into the arms of my, my, my wife. And, and I remember that it was just the moment where my life began to change dramatically. And we went through a phase where we were homeless for a little bit and I was like, God, is this really you?
[00:24:45] Is this the great life? You saved me from prison just to put me in a living prison? I remember a Tuesday night I was driving to tell our landlord that we didn't have the money to do it. We had to do to pay for rent. And I felt like I heard these words. And, uh, whether it was the devil or whoever you want to call these dots, said to me, man, Jeff, you might as well kill yourself.
[00:25:03] Death would be a relief compared to the hell you were going through. And I remember taking my car and flooring it, going 60 miles an hour towards a pole. I closed my eyes because I felt like I was a failure. I couldn't take care of my wife. I took take care of my kids and driving down that road, I let go.
[00:25:22] I was waiting for the impact. I remember going off the curb and I closed my eyes and I hear all this noise,
[00:25:30] and then all of a sudden it's silent. And I'm like, man, am I in heaven? And I hit these drops, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, and I open my eyes
[00:25:40] and it's rain on the windshield, and I'm perfectly parallel parked on the side of the road and have no idea how I go 60 miles an hour towards a pole, and perfectly parallel parked.
[00:25:50] It's that moment where I felt like God spoke to me. He said, son, I have an amazing purpose for you. I know it seems hard right now, and, and I know you're where you are right now. But, but I, hold on. I remember getting out. The rain was just pouring on me. He's like a movie scene. And that next moment, I, I had a, a gentleman who called me, he says, Hey, is this Jeff?
[00:26:08] And I said, yeah. He goes, Hey, this is Andre. You came to a bible study. I said, Hey Andre. He was a very successful businessman, literally like the next day. And he goes, Hey man, God put you on my heart and I just wanna let you know that you and I are cut from the same cloth. And I said, what? He goes, you and I are cut from the same cloth.
[00:26:24] Here's a multimillionaire guy who's like, you know, telling me, you know, this is where I'm at and we're cut from the same cloth. And, and all of these things began to happen. And, and as this began to happen, I began to say, man, well what is it that he saw that was inside of me that. That made him say that.
[00:26:41] And it changed my whole life. I mean, I, it changed my posture. I began to walk a little different, like, man, well, he found something in me. And, and I remember he, he, he saw something in me and it really began to, to cause my new journey where I was like, okay, God, well I'm gonna begin to believe everything you say about me, even though as hard as it is.
[00:26:55] And it was then that I got the phone call from the co, the government of Bermuda, and they said, Hey, you know, is this Jeffrey? And I said, yeah. They said, well, man, are. You're a former gang member, right? And I said, yeah. And they said, well, we're having problems with gangs here in the country of Bermuda. We wanna know if you can come and speak.
[00:27:08] So we ended up going out there and, and speaking, and it was one of the most amazing things. I was like, well, hey, do I have to pay for it? Like, how far do I have to drive to get to Bermuda ? And they were like, no, no, you gotta fly. You know? And so I remember going there and I, and I, and just my mind was blown how, how God used my story and my testimony and my pain to deal with some of the largest drug lords.
[00:27:25] And it went from that to me doing work with the president, who they call the premiere and the vice premiere. And, and, and from there it went to training over 600 government officials and training the SWAT team on how to disengage active gang members. And then getting into the mind and the mentality of a gang and teaching them how, you know, gang.
[00:27:41] Serves a need. And when a gang member finds a way to facilitate that need in a different manner, they no longer need the gang as was my fault or was my situation. And so it went from that to us living in Bermuda. So we ended up moving to Bermuda. My wife, we had a daughter then, so it was two of us were living in Bermuda.
[00:27:56] And, and we were doing that. And I just began to see the love of God there. And God began to transition that season when it was done and brought us over. And they began to hear about my story and what I was doing, and they asked me to give a, you know, share my story at, at a graduation. And so I went from that to speaking for this organization where it, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and, and, and I began to share my story of how to overcome, and it just really began to just catapult my life and I didn't even know it.
[00:28:20] And so now, You know, being married and now having two kids and, and now, you know, pastoring a church. And 10 years ago, if you asked me, would culminate to me being a pastor culminate to where I am right now, the answer would be no. But if I look back on my life and I look back on all of my pain, I look back on everything.
[00:28:37] I can honestly say that, that God was with me in that journey. And even in my mistakes, I learned the goodness of God. I learned the love of God. And, and where I am, it's a, it's a group of a group of friends of mine, and I'm a good friend. Julian always says, you know, there's a saying. It's like, you know, stay H and H and H and H means
[00:28:53] hungry and humble.
[00:28:54] And I think where I am in my life, what got me to where we are when I look at my whole life's story, um, it's really staying hungry and humble and recognizing that God loves you, uh, beyond where you are and getting to a place that
[00:29:05] if you don't supersize your dream, uh, you'll live a happy meal life.
[00:29:09] And so that's something for me that I really live by and, and I'm just grateful to be where I am and, uh, and be there.
[00:29:18] I feel like everybody wants to be a leader. Now. I'm a leader. I'm a ceo, I'm a pastor, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm all this stuff. But they don't understand that leadership comes at a price. I remember people looking at all these Instagram guys and, and they want to be Instagram famous and get all these followers and, and do all these things.
[00:29:32] So what do they do? They only post their highlight reels on Instagram, right? They, they post all of the good moments, and, and what we see is the 20,000 people that, that pastor, or we see the, the, all the stages that they're performing on and, and, and we see all of these amazing things that, that you see them doing.
[00:29:48] But what you don't see is all of the years it took, when people slam the doors in their face, you don't. See all of the time that it took when people turned them down and all the things that they put their hopes and everything in, and it came down to nothing. And they don't show you that part of leadership.
[00:30:02] They just show you. All you see is the highlight reels. And like Stephen Frederick says, you don't see the behind the scenes of, of really what happens. And the behind the scenes is what's the ugly part? , you know, is it it, the behind the scenes, there ain't no filter in life. Now I realize that you can throw on your Instagram that can, that that can shield you from the pain and the price of what it costs to be in leadership.
[00:30:22] The pain that it costs to get where you are. It costs you everything.
[00:30:30] In part two of this three part series on Relentless Hope, Jeff Osborne talks about the price it takes to develop leadership. He defines the idea of leaders and the principles of leadership that can be applied to live a better life. In this episode, we'll learn how to be more transparent, think deeply, and ask provocative questions in order to get the results we need to become a better leader.
[00:31:05] Moving into this, this next season of my life, it really brought me to this new idea of leadership. And I think if I had to sum up my life in this leadership role that I'm moving, as he began to teach me these things, it was a story my friend shared with me. Uh, my good friend Justin Sapp, he's an amazing story telling and communicator, but he told this story when he was in Africa and when he is in Africa, he was there as a college student and, and as they were in Africa, they're riding on the bus and, and his professor is there, he is a doctor, and they're riding on the left side.
[00:31:32] He shields his eyes and everybody on the bus starts shielding their eyes. This bright light is coming their way and shielding his eyes and he's like, man, you know what, what, what, what, what, what is it about this light? Like, what's going on? Everybody couldn't figure out. On the left side, there was this bright light on the right side.
[00:31:47] You would look out the window and it was just sheer poverty. It was, it was absolute poverty. And all of the things that you can think of from kids not having clothes and bellies. And they would just stand there. And he asked his professor, he said, professor, you know, what is that light? And in his deep African accent, he was like,
[00:32:04] you don't want to know with that is.
[00:32:06] He's like, no, no, no, tell me. Like I really want to know. You know, what is that light? He says, no, I cannot tell you. And he said, please, he is Zu. Okay. I will tell you. He says, those are the remnants of diamonds. The French, the Germans the Russians. They come and they want to dig the diamonds out, but if they come, they will leave the people in worst state than before.
[00:32:28] But, but the people don't have the two tools to dig out the diamonds. And so the diamonds sit and the people suffer. The diamonds sit and the people suffer.
[00:32:47] And I remember when I heard that like. It just, it, it hit me to my core, how, how many of us, God has placed some of the greatest gifts inside of us.
[00:32:57] And yet, because we don't have the proper tools to be able to dig them out, all of the giftings, everything that we have in us, it begins to lay dormant in these or the things that could change your marriage. It could change your relationship, it can change your life. It can change everything around you.
[00:33:12] But if you're not aware of who you are and what's inside of you, then nothing can ever change. I, I love the interview between Steven Furtick and Uncle TD Jakes. I call him Uncle TD Jakes. I don't know him, but one day I, I feel like he's been a man that has impacted my life from afar. But he shared this story, and when they were sitting down and they were interviewing him about what makes you as successful as you are, and I remember Uncle TD said it like this.
[00:33:33] He says, I'm, I'm in touch with myself, more than most people are. I've learned how to date myself. I've learned how to court myself into knowing who I am and who God created me to be. And I'm so in touch with a level of myself that it allows me to pull things out of me that most people can't pull. And he began to share how the greatest journey his mother had taught him was a journey to figure out who you were.
[00:33:56] It was, it was inwardly. As you dig deep, they say, you know, dig deep and grab that gusto or grab that strength. And, and digging deep really is us choosing to go into the areas of our lives and say, God, what else have you placed inside of me? And I think that when you look at my idea of leadership, and if I'm gonna be honest with you, we live in a age now as millennials.
[00:34:14] I'm 31 years old, I'll be 32. And, and, and now being blessed to. To pastor Church of, of, of several hundred people in, in, in a matter of, you know, 14 months of where we are and growing and seeing some of the greatest leaders. And for me, sitting under one of the greatest leaders, pastor Obed, uh, uh, pastor Obed Martinez, we're able to bring in, uh, tons of leaders through, through an organization we have called Passionate Pastors.
[00:34:37] And, and really what we do is we grow pastors. That's what we say. Well, we have over 400 churches represented where we just bring in the top pastors all over the world who are doing phenomenal things and, and we bring 'em to a place where you can. You know, get fed as a pastor, you can get poured into as a pastor and begin to grow.
[00:34:53] And as I begin to look at this whole idea of, of, of leadership and what it is, if I'm gonna be completely honest and transparent, I think nowadays everybody wants to have a leadership podcast. Everybody wants to be deemed a leader, everybody wants to go into leadership. But if, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, and the only way that I can speak of for me is that for me, this, this last, you know, two years of coming here and even leadership that I've learned in my life is there's a lot of leadership principles that are phenomenal.
[00:35:19] And having done that for 10 years and, and, and being a corporate life coach and, and seeing those things, leadership is great. But what I realize about leadership is leadership, uh, uh, Scott Williams says is less about the leader and more about the ship. When you're looking at leadership, it has less to do with what you can get.
[00:35:36] But it's more about what you can give for others. And, and, and, and the greatest leaders are the ones who will give their life to see others begin to succeed in a healthy way. Not that you would begin to suffer as an expense of it, but really leadership is being able to lead your ship so that everybody else can get to a greater destination.
[00:35:55] And one of the things that I really love is that when you look at the idea of leadership, it really is this idea that, that people have this ability to really want things for themselves. And people have the ability to, to want to begin to, to look at where they are in their life. And look at what I can get.
[00:36:10] I don't want everybody to look at me like this. And, and so when I came into, everybody ask me, you know, Jeff, what's your leadership secret? And in this season, if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, is I, my struggle wasn't learning what it means to be a leader. For me it was learning what it meant to be a son.
[00:36:25] And I think in our generation, for us, We really want to be in a place where we want to be a spiritual leader or we want to be able to lead. And, and I think the challenge with that is that we're all leaders. We're all leaders. I don't care whether you're leading a, you know, a 5,000 member organization and you're a CEO or if, if you're, if you're, if you're the founder of Pray.com and, or, or, or whether you're running Nike or, or whether you're running your house, whether you're leading a football team, whether you're leading your group of friends who you have, all of us in some capacity have been called to leadership.
[00:36:59] And if we look at leadership as the ability to be able to lay down your life, being able to sacrifice for the betterment of somebody else. You'll begin to find out that that leadership is, is the ability to be able to not just only lead from the front, but leading from the back. And I think that's the, the paradox, if you will, about leadership is that true leaders learn how to lead from the back so that they're not the ones who have to be seen, but they're the ones who's pushing it and pushing people and, and thriving to allow them to be seen.
[00:37:27] And for me, I, I learned that, that for me, in this season of my life, it's sonship. It's what does it mean to be a spiritual son? What does it mean to be where I'm at? And what I've learned is the greatest gift is that, that for me, um, in order for me to have authority, I had to be under authority. And I think everybody has this place where it's almost like my son, Jayden, you know, uh, when Jayden and Amaya get into argument, and they're fighting and, and Amaya is like, you know, Jayden gimme my toy back.
[00:37:53] And my son's like, no, I'm not giving it to you. And she's like, I want my toy back. And he's like, no. We've taught them like, listen, if you can't get something, what do you do? Come to dad, come to mom. And, and what we were trying to teach him is the principle that you may not have the power in yourself, but when you carry the right authority, things begin to happen.
[00:38:13] And so I, we taught him, Hey, you come to me and, and you, you, when you come to us, you let us know. And so he would come, he won't gimme my toy. And I said, you let him know that Daddy said give the toy back. And so she would go back and, and when she'd go back, he'd be like, give my toy. And he'd be like, no. She goes, daddy said, and immediately whether he wanted to or not, that little brother handed over that toy unless he wanted to lose some of his privileges real quick.
[00:38:38] Then the reality is for many of us, when we look at that leadership, it's really about, especially in ministry, I'm gonna take a moment and really talk about ministry. Really being a leader, you have to learn what it means. to follow. Great. First. In order to be a leader, you gotta learn how to be a great follower and, and not just a follower in that sense, but I used the word sonship.
[00:38:56] And sonship doesn't just equate to just a boy, but it also equates to a daughter. You know, any, everywhere in the Bible you talk about only the sons got the inheritance. And, and, and so in the Bible, the sons were the ones who received the inheritance. And the girls who, uh, would be married, they would become the daughters and the daughters would get the inheritance as a result of the son, you know, choosing to be a son and gain that inheritance.
[00:39:17] And when I began to realize more in my life that I had more authority to learn things about leadership when I submitted to leadership. And it doesn't mean that when I say submit, everybody's like, oh yeah, I submit in church, or I submit to this. But it's not submission until they ask you to do something that you really don't want to do, then that's real submission.
[00:39:34] And, and so in my life, when you ask me about leadership, my goal is not trying to get people. To get a better plan in 25 days to get to this level. When I'm looking at it, when you talk about leadership, leadership causes you to have to go into a place of your life where you have to dig into the drudgery and the stuff that you don't want to go into, to pull out the areas in your life that are gonna harm you.
[00:39:56] I think the greatest leaders are the ones who are not afraid to examine themselves and be open and transparent about where they are in their life, their faults in their life, the areas where they have shortcomings and they say, man, look, I blew it out my nose. Can you forgive me? I, I, I was sitting down with one of our young leaders today and I begin to talk to 'em about the greatest gift of, of promotion is really what I believe is transparency.
[00:40:17] Transparency is the currency to elevation. And I truly believe that, that the more transparent we are as leaders, the greater our, the people around us will begin to believe us. The greater the people around us will begin to say, Hey, they don't have any ulterior motives behind them. So I can follow somebody like that.
[00:40:33] But
[00:40:33] Jeff Osborne: many leaders have, you know, they, they cover things or they try to hide things and they don't really lay out, Hey, look, this is, this is where I'm at. And they, they all, Hey, this is where, where, where I'm at. And I think we live in an age now, especially with millennials and especially with what we're faced with on social media, we see so much real stuff that I can smell a fake, a mile away.
[00:40:50] And, and, and as you begin to transition an outside of the millennials, I think as we go back into a place of leadership of coming into transparency where Jesus allowed his disciples to see his transparent moments that they allowed him to go into the garden of Gethsemane. He's like, look, pray for me. I'm, my, my soul is like, I'm, I'm, I'm in sorrow right now.
[00:41:09] And just as much as Jesus really, really did. I think what we don't see are the moments in between the pages and all the time that Jesus spent with the disciples breaking bread with the disciples and Jesus being the perfect picture of who we're supposed to be in leadership, who he didn't Lord it over anybody.
[00:41:25] He didn't say, look, I'm the son of God. You better bow down to me. But, but I love how he opens up with this idea of leadership in Matthew where they, they come to him and they say, well, well what are you doing hanging out with all these sinners? What are you doing hanging out with all these people? And he asked this question, I feel like Jesus was like the ultimate life coach because, you know, being a life coach, I love questions because thinking leads to questions, questions lead to answers and answers lead to the results we have in our life.
[00:41:51] So if we don't see the results, that we want to have in our life. The question is, is are we receiving the right answers? And if we're not receiving the right answers, the question is, is am I asking the right questions? Because if I'm not asking the right question, that's an obvious sign that I'm not really thinking about where I am right now.
[00:42:10] And so I love how Jesus always ask, he always asks these crucial questions like these drop the mic moments where where they're sitting down, they say, man, well, what are you doing with these sinners? And what are you doing with all these people? And Jesus says to 'em, it's so cold. I love it. He goes, he goes, who is it that is in need of a physician?
[00:42:26] Is it those who are sick or those who are well? And I think when you, I mean that was the drop the mic moment. I was like, ah, like that, you know, he killed at it. And if it was that, I'd give 'em all these fist pump emojis and a hundred signs and you know, they're going, that flex the muscle because the way that a leader really is able to impact his people is to allow them to ask provocative questions that get them to start thinking, that begin to question the motives of why I'm doing, not just telling us what to do, but tell me why I'm doing what I'm doing.
[00:42:58] Begin to question how I can come to my own results as I, as I am where I am right now. And that's what you begin to look at. When you look at the life of Jesus, when you look at the life of leadership, it's really getting them into a place where you're so transparent that they're looking at your life and as they're looking at your life, they can see the areas where you're asking questions and they begin to ask questions.
[00:43:16] And the Disci Disciples would be like, man, God, Jesus, what did you mean by that? And I love that because when they begin to ask these questions now, it was a sign that man, they were learning from their rabbi. And I love that on, on our staff. We have a messianic rabbi. And so, you know, you really hit the good question where he kind of gets a smirk on his face because you can't come to the Rabbi without first asking these questions that are good questions and showing that you've been thinking in your provocative.
[00:43:38] And I think leadership is really about transparency when you look at that transparency and it's really about knowing that you're there to really serve others and, and, and you're there to really to do that. And I think the hardest part about leadership is we want to be able to lead. We want to be in the front and we want people to look at us and see who we are.
[00:43:57] But the reality is, is leadership hurts. and nobody talks about that. Leadership requires moments where you question yourself moments when you're like, man, God, I poured my whole life into this person and yet they hurt me. And, and I, and I, and leadership is one of those things where you have to get to the point where every time that somebody hurts you, that the mark of a true leader is to make sure that you have people around your life.
[00:44:22] That are gonna be able to help your heart heal when you've been broken. I mean, I came to Pastor Obed, me and Nadia came to Pastor Obed and Pastor Lissette being broken. We didn't come healed, we didn't come as, you know, the greatest pastors ever. We came broken. But one of the things that we had to allow and do it was hurt from another pastor was hurt from another church.
[00:44:40] And one of the things that we had to learn was to allow our hearts to get mended. Not so that we can protect ourselves from being hurt, but so that we can put it back out there for somebody else. The chance of knowing that somebody could hurt me again. And I think the mark of a real leadership is to be able to have those people around you that even when your heart is hurt, that you don't allow it to create bitterness, but you have people around you that can speak into your life to allow your heart to mend again.
[00:45:06] And it's not just in church. This is an everyday life. And so whether you know you're driving in your listening this at work, or you have arguments that you've had with your brother or your sister, or your mom or your dad, the goal is to have people around you that don't justify your bitterness, but they allow you to be in a place where you can be healed so that you can love again and.
[00:45:24] And I think that's the biggest challenge for us is that we, we say, you know, I've been hurt, and so now because I've been hurt and I gave my trust to somebody, now I'm untrustworthy. I don't trust, I got trust issues. No, no, no. You don't have trust issues. The challenge was that you put your trust in somebody who was untrustworthy.
[00:45:41] And so it has nothing to do about you and everything to do about that other person. And so rather than cut yourself off from love, rather than cut yourself off from being able to lead in the place where you could lead and lead in your family and lead with your children and lead in your organization or lead in your church, what happens is we lead from a place of pain and hurt.
[00:45:57] And whenever you do that, you lead from a place of skepticism. So now you don't trust people and now you don't see them for who they are. And you could be smack dab in the healthiest situation ever. But because you have not allowed people in your life to work on your heart and begin to grow you and and, and to begin to work on those areas, now you are robbing yourself of an experience that God could be wanting to bless you with a new job.
[00:46:18] But because you know you're living from the past, you're in a new situation with an old mindset. And that's one of the worst things to do in leadership, is to come into a new leadership role with an old mindset of somebody who hurt you from the past. And so being able to make sure that you're able to have those hard checks or things that you can really begin to learn in, um, in leadership.
[00:46:36] One of the hardest things that I learned though, if I'm being open and and more transparent, is I had to learn the greatest thing that you can say in leadership, and I know it sounds cliche, is man, I don't know, , it's saying, I don't know. It's, it's saying, man, I'm, I'm learning right now and this is where I'm at.
[00:46:53] But my dedication is that as I, as I journey through this season of learning and journey through this season of of, of beginning to grow, I think what's allowed our church campus personally to grow as fast as it is, is our ability to admit the things that we don't know, but also get in a mindset to say, I'm not gonna stay in a place where I don't know.
[00:47:12] And when people see. that transparency when they see that honesty. When you recognize the greatest thing you can do is know what you don't know. It gives you the opportunity to then begin to gain knowledge. Socrates says the first part and gaining knowledge is to know what you don't know. And so, um, rather than try to wing it, I've been there before.
[00:47:33] I mean, it was one of the roughest moments coming in into pastoring. I thought, you know, I can motivate and I can encourage, and, you know, that's what it's about. So rah rah, rah, you can do it. And being set up and tear down after 14 months, all the inspiration in the world, can't get nobody to move when you're doing that.
[00:47:46] And, and what I began to learn was one of the hardest moments when Pastor Obe, my pastor called me in and he said, can I teach you something? I said, yeah. And, um, one of the things that, that he shared with me, he says, you need to understand that encouragement is great, motivation is great, but what you need to learn is you need to learn where the hearts of your people are and figure out how to best serve,
[00:48:13] they're hearts. And, and when he said it to me, it was one of those moments where, you know, you don't want to hear that. You know, you don't, you don't want to hear what he said, no, gimme something else. Like, you're doing a great job. Or, you know, I'm loving that. But I begin to realize in that moment that leadership
[00:48:27] comes at a price.
[00:48:31] I feel like everybody wants to be a leader. Now. I'm a leader. I'm a ceo, I'm a pastor. I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm all this stuff. But they don't understand that leadership comes at a price. I remember people looking at all these Instagram guys and, and they want to be Instagram famous and get all these followers and, and do all these things.
[00:48:45] So what do they do? They only post their highlight reels on Instagram, right? They, they post all of the good moments and. And what we see is the 20,000 people that, that pastor, or we see the, the, all the stages that they're performing on and, and, and we see all of these amazing things that, that you see them doing.
[00:49:01] But what you don't see is all of the years it took, when people slam the doors in their face, you don't see all of the time that it took when people turn them down and all the things that they put their hopes and everything in, and it came down to nothing. And they don't show you that part of leadership.
[00:49:15] They just show you. All you see is the highlight reels. And I see Frederick says, you don't see the behind the scenes of, of really what happens. And the behind the scenes is, what's the ugly part. You know, it's, it, it, it, the behind the scenes, there ain't no filter in life that I realize that you can throw on your Instagram.
[00:49:30] That can, that can shield you from the pain and the price of what it costs to be in leadership. The pain that it costs to get where you are. It costs you everything. And when I say that leadership costs you everything, it'll cost you everything that you hold dear. The Bible says that, that in order for you to gain your life, you gotta lose your life.
[00:49:47] And I think the hardest lesson for me to learn was the moment that I had to come face to face and realize, Jeff, you ain't moving to Newport Beach to be the stay a motivational speaker in a life coach, I'm calling you to Palm Springs, the Coachella Valley where as hot as Lithuania, where our brother turned four shades darker.
[00:50:05] But recognizing that this is the place where God had for my family to grow, it was me being willing to say God, I laid down every thought that I had in order to pick up the thoughts that you have for me. God, I lay down the life that I thought I was supposed to have, only to gain back everything that you had.
[00:50:21] And the only way I can, I can talk about leadership, when you turn into leadership, when as you begin to lead, it's really beginning to. You know, my pastor taught me this. He says, when you pray, pray that God begins to show you the picture of that person's life and let them know that, man, look, your, your life is the canvas.
[00:50:38] I want to be the paint to help you kind of put some things together. But ultimately, God is the artist who gets to paint it all together. And, and when I begin to look at that, I begin to look at our life almost like my son, Jayden. Jayden, you know, when he was young, he wants to be Spider-Man, Batman, the Hulk Ironman, a doctor, a soccer player, an astronaut, and do it all in one day, in five minutes.
[00:51:00] And you know, as a parent, you like, go ahead son. You can do it. I believe in you. You know, you start doing Spider-Man sounds and you know, you want encourage him at that moment. But even as a parent, you know, there's a moment in time where, where something has to shift, where you recognize the things that were, your fairy tales and your imaginations that you thought were amazing isn't who you're supposed to become.
[00:51:21] And I think what happens when it comes to moments of wanting to lead is that we have these pictures of how we want to lead and how we want things. But I think just like us, when we're younger, God gets to a point where he says, Hey, that was great to do all that. Are you done? Are you ready to do what I have in store for you?
[00:51:38] Because if you will lead your family the way that I'm asking you to lead, if you'll lead your department where you are, if you, if you lead the employees that you have, and you trust me in that process, if, if you begin to lead from, from a position of looking at my word or you're leading from a position of transparency and if you trust me, what I have for you is greater than what you could even imagine.
[00:52:00] And it was that moment for me that, that nobody talked about leadership. That you gimme in the right place at the right time with the right people and still feel like everything is all wrong. And what I mean by that is the hardest part for me in leadership that I had to learn was that when you get to a place of leadership, And you get to a place where God promoted you, God never promotes you because you have it all right then and there.
[00:52:27] He promotes you and puts you in a place that's gonna cause you to do the work, to pull out your leadership qualities, to get you to where you need to be. And whenever God positions you and he moves you to an organization, it's crazy because I remember when I became a pastor, I knew corporate world when I became a pastor.
[00:52:42] I didn't know all these top pastors. Hey, that's so-and-so. Hey, that's so-and-so. I didn't know anything about pastoring. I felt so dumb. I felt so stupid. Like I, I did, and I, I don't remember. I was like, man, God, how can I be at this new level? But I feel so dumb. I, I begin to panic because nobody talks about the leadership side of leadership where you are being asked to be somebody that you've never become before.
[00:53:04] So how can I know who to become if I've never become that person before? How, how can I know how I'm supposed to be? if I've never done it. I mean, God, if, if you could just gimme this pre-packaged where I get this suit that I get to put on when I hit this level of pastoring. So now I've got my super pastor suit, you know, and I got the pastor suit on.
[00:53:22] Or if you're a CEO, God, I can't wait. I ordered my, my pa I ordered my CEO suit off of Amazon and it came today. Man, I ordered that, that world's best dad suit on. And, and so I'm gonna put this on, I'm gonna become super dad. You know, and, and you look at all of these things where you, you wish that that was it.
[00:53:38] But the reality is, is that God always puts you in positions that pulls out the gifting that he's placed inside of you. And it always comes at a price. It comes at a price where you have to be humble enough to say, man, I don't know that it comes at a price where it's gonna cost you your tears. It comes at a price where it may cost you some relationship.
[00:53:54] You see walking in leadership and getting everything for your life, it costs you something. And, and my biggest desire for where I am right now is as we look at leadership is to understand that leadership. Cost. You know, they, they say, you know, if you, if you don't pay the cost, then you can't be the boss.
[00:54:10] You know, you gotta pay the cost to be the boss. When, when you look at the reality of all of these people, you look at their story, you look at their highlight, and I remember I used to look at my Instagram followers and feel so insecure. I used to look at the small churches that I would speak at and feel so insecure.
[00:54:26] I would look at, you know, the car that I would drive, I would look at the size of my church. I would look at, you know, all of these things. I would feel so insecure because it wasn't what I saw. But then when I got behind the scenes and my pastor began to show me the truth behind, and I began to get closer in these life coaching things and begin to look at these organizations, any, the Fortune five, I began to realize what it costs.
[00:54:47] Leadership will cost you everything, but the beautiful side behind it is that you'll gain everything. And the greatest thing that I can share when it comes to leadership is being able to understand that what's for you is what's for you. And I think this is what leaders need to understand. This is, this is, I think for me, this is my greatest secret.
[00:55:06] And I know it's not deep. I know it's not, you know, uh, uh, all esoteric and this, this huge like idea. But what's
[00:55:14] for
[00:55:14] Jeff Osborne: you is what's for you? Whatever God has in store for your life, I don't care if you're a pastor, ceo, business, uh, person who's starting, you know your entrepreneur, if you're a student, if you're an employee and you love your job, whatever God has for your life is for you.
[00:55:32] The Bible says that your giftings will make room for you and place you in front of great men. Notice that it says your giftings, not who you're trying to be, not who you're pretending to be. Your giftings will make room for you and place you in front of great men. And the greatest thing I had to understand is I, I, I'm not TD Jakes, I, I, I can't preach that that brother has an anointing on his life.
[00:55:55] That's phenomenal. I'm not Carl Lentz. I'm not Judah Smith or I, I, I can't cheese as big as my man, uh, Chad Veach or, or lead, like Pastor bed or lead like Grant Cardone or Anthony Robbins and, and be as big as he has in. Season of where he's at or, or or to, to be a Oprah Winfrey and get that mind. I can admire them from afar and take the things from them that I love.
[00:56:14] But at the end of the day, who I am is the gift to the world. And when we look at leadership as in that viewpoint of, man, I'm a gift to this world because nobody else can do what I can do, how I do it, then you'll understand that whatever God has designed for your life, if you are being who you are, that's what's gonna put you, put you in front of great people.
[00:56:31] That's what's gonna get you your promotion. That's what's gonna allow your company to skyrocket. That's what's gonna make you different in your think tanks of where you are. That's what's gonna get you to be the employee that stands out. It's not your ability to fit in, but it's your ability to stand out knowing that man, if God called me the lead, then I'm gonna lead the way that I know how to lead.
[00:56:47] I'm a storyteller. I'm a funny guy. I'm not this deep, you know, open your book to the Book of Numbers. You know, I'm, I'm not deep like that, but I, I really feel like I'm a practical pastor where you take the deep revelations of God and you make it. Practical and applicable into people's lives and, and being who I am in loving life.
[00:57:03] I began to realize that where I am even now, being able to do this amazing podcast at Pray.com, being able to be around such amazing people and leadership like, like Matt and Steve and, and, and, and Max and all you great people. It's not because I have all of these amazing skills. It's because I learned that who I am is a gift to this world.
[00:57:22] And just by me being true and authentic to who I am, it allows me to lead the way that God is calling me to lead. And I look at the idea of leadership where I am traveling around the world, speaking to these organizations. Um, being on this podcast really came up as a result of me not knowing the greatest knowledge, but me just being crazy enough to believe that.
[00:57:40] Whatever lesson I've learned in my life will allow me to usher the leadership, um, that may change somebody's life. And even if I listen and know, maybe if one person listens to this and they hear this last part, that you are authentically who you are, who God has created you to be. And you don't have to try to change who you are to get people to love.
[00:57:58] You don't have to change who you are to get people to be in a relationship with you. You shouldn't have to change who you are to get the promotions or compromise who you are to get promotions. Stay true to your values, stay true to your morals. Stay true to who you are because at the end of the day, God will promote you to a level where even your haters have to watch you.
[00:58:13] God says, you know, I'll place a I'll place a seat for you. And, and allow you to be at a at, at a place at the table, even with the people around you who don't even like you. It says, you prepare a place for me in the midst of my enemies. And so there's nothing greater than being able to see God elevating you in a place of leadership.
[00:58:31] Not because you got vengeful, not because you try to be somebody else. Not because you try to be manipulative, but because you recognize what God has for you is for you. And as you stay committed to who you are, the Bible says your giftings will make room for you, not somebody else's gifting. It's your giftings.
[00:58:46] And as you do that, God will just begin to usher that in and cause you to live a life like never before. And I think those are the keys from my life that really base my foundation of, of where we are. We love God. We love life. We love people. We love our city. That's what we believe in at Destiny Church.
[00:59:01] And so at the end of all of it, I think the summation of all leadership is love. Being able to love people through where they are, loving them through it, and not giving up on 'em when everybody else wants to give up on them. That's love for me and that's leadership for me.
[00:59:17] Man, I, I, I said, God, whenever I walk into a room, I want people to miss me. Like I wanna walk in like an espresso shot, like, bam! You know, Jeff came in the building and, man, I don't know what it is about him. You know, I feel really good. And it's amazing because when I decided to make that I, I begin to look at legacy.
[00:59:32] And as I begin to look at legacy, there are three words that I begin to gauge my life, my life off of. When I think about legacy, at the end of the day when I gauge my life, there are three words that define me, that I say, Jeff, this is what you're called to do that will leave your legacy live, love, and inspire
[00:59:55] In part three of this three part series on Relentless Hope, Jeff Osborne defines legacy as more than just financial. But a way of leaving a mark on this earth for future generations. We discover how he learned to leave a legacy of helping others from his elders, and how he applies that knowledge to leave a lasting and meaningful impact on this earth.
[01:00:29] I think when we look at the idea of our lives and we look at what's next, and you look at what the summation of our life is, and you look at, man, what, what do I want to achieve in my life? I gotta, I got, I have somebody who pours into our life at our, at our campus. His name is Grandpa Ray. And Grandpa Ray is in his eighties and he was a top financial advisor.
[01:00:48] And I remember, uh, a moment in my life, you know, coming here. And it's so funny because I think all of my insecurities, uh, came out when I became a pastor. You know, you can talk all that leadership talk, but pastoring really pulls it out of you where you have to really evaluate yourself. And I remember looking at pastor Obed, I said, man, you know, I'm panicking right now because I'm looking for legacy.
[01:01:08] I'm looking for something that I can leave my kids and I'm looking for something that I can do in, in my life that would make them feel amazing. And, and you know, it's all about legacy. You know, what are you gonna leave that legacy in? And you look at this, it's like, man, what is legacy? You know, I think it's one of those words that are so cliche when we say, man, I gotta leave a legacy.
[01:01:25] I gotta leave a legacy. And many people think that a legacy is financial. So they, they, they say, man, the only way that I'm gonna be able to leave a legacy is financially. So I gotta do everything within my power to make as much money as possible. And what happens is, is for parents, we tend to do everything in our power to give our children a good life.
[01:01:44] But we do very little to leave on a real legacy. And I found myself in this moment where I was pastoring, you know, and I sat down with Grandpa Ray maybe like a month ago, and I said, man, what am I gonna do to leave a legacy? I mean, I, I gotta be like Matt and I gotta, and Steve and start a startup company.
[01:02:00] Everybody's, you know, starting startup company. So I gotta move to Silicon Valley and, and you know, and I gotta have this big old tech world and I gotta be wealthy. If I can come up with some type of bird trying to go through some brick wall or something like that, then maybe I can make this amazing app that will make me millions.
[01:02:13] And, and as I make millions, then my kids will know that Daddy left him a really good legacy. And, and, and Grandpa Ray started laughing and he got to laugh. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm looking at him like, man, I'm just telling you where my heart is right now. You just gonna laugh in my face like that. He spoke to me, he says, I've made money in my life.
[01:02:31] And he said to me, what legacy is, legacy isn't what you leave in your child's bank account. It's what you leave in their heart that counts. It's not what you leave in their bank account, it's what you leave in their heart that counts. I remember reading this book, um, and, and as I really begin to, to read this book, I, I love the idea, um, of how well and long in his book, the Power of Consistency asked this question.
[01:03:01] He says, I want you to picture yourself walking into this room, and when you walk in this room, you're at a funeral and it's an open casket, but when you look into this casket, you realize that it's you and you're at your funeral. What would you want people to say about you at your funeral? What would you want your children to say about their daddy?
[01:03:25] What would you want your coworkers to say about you? What would you want the people who knew you? What would you want your mom? What, what would you want your wife? What would you want your friends? What would you want your colleagues, what would you want your congregation to say about you if you died? And I remember that question began to rock me to the core of who I was because there was a moment where I had achieved this measure of success.
[01:03:45] And I remember I, I, I was good. I was coaching, but I wasn't happy. And, and, and I remember I was going down the stairs and I was sleeping in the bed with nay, and I was tossing and turning and, and I was upset. And, and I remember Nadia was like, you know, babe, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, is it me?
[01:04:00] I was like, I don't know. It could be, you know. And I marched down and I snatched the blanket off of the, off of the bed and my side of it. And I marched down the stairs and I remember laying down and pulling the covers over my head. And I remember so quietly I heard my wife come down and she just hugged me.
[01:04:17] And I remember I started crying. And when I began to cry, I said, I'm done. She's like, well, what are you talking about? I said, I'm done treating God. Like, he's like this, this lottery ticket
[01:04:31] that
[01:04:31] Jeff Osborne: hopefully one day you're gonna get your big break. I'm done feeling like I gotta become this, this overnight shot of success and write 50 million books.
[01:04:39] I'm I, I'm done with this. And I felt like in that moment, like the heavens opened up and God asked me one of the, the greatest questions that I could ever be asked. He says, son, when you stand before me, what do you want me to say to you? And now you know the church answers. Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter into my rest.
[01:04:59] You know? But for me, it wasn't that answer. The first thing that came to my mind without hesitation was, thank you for showing my children who they are. When you look at legacy, Legacy goes beyond you just securing, you know, the, the, the life insurance, because that's important. It's not, you know, securing financial things.
[01:05:22] Absolutely. You wanna secure, secure that for your daughter's wedding, for your kids. You wanna do things that are gonna set them up, but that's just one portion of it. The greatest legacy that we can leave behind is a life of serving others. The greatest legacy that we can leave behind is being able to say, when I die, I can't take money with me.
[01:05:43] I can't take my Ferrari with me. I can't take my massive church that I built with me. But what I can take with me when I stand before God for me is all of the people that I chose to share with them who God is and how much he loves them. What I can take with me is all the lives that were changed as account of me being obedience.
[01:06:04] But what's more important is what is legacy? Legacy is what is left behind long after you're gone. And most people wanna be like, oh my gosh, he left a great legacy cuz I can buy all of these things. He left a great legacy because I can do this. I love how the Jewish people teach. They say, if you really wanna leave, leave a legacy.
[01:06:19] Do three things, write a book because a book will outlast you long after you're gone plant a tree because a tree will outlive you long after you're gone and have children. Because children can outlast you long after you're gone. And whether you can physically have a child, whether you can't, you can still adopt.
[01:06:40] But even doing that and leaving a legacy means that the lessons that you teach people, how you made them feel when you, when you walk around them. Man, I, I, I said, God, wherever I walk into a room, I want people to miss me. Like I wanna walk in like an expressional shot, like, bam! You know, Jeff came in the building and, man, I don't know what it is about him.
[01:06:59] You know, I feel really good. And it's amazing because when I decided to make that, I, I began to look at legacy. And as I begin to look at legacy, there are three words that I begin to gauge my life, my life off of. When I think about legacy, at the end of the day when I gauge my life, there are three words that define me.
[01:07:16] That I say, Jeff, this is what you're called to do that will leave your legacy live love, and inspire. Jeff, did you live today to the fullest capacity? Did you help other people begin to live? Today? When people ask, man, Jeff, how you doing today? I said, phenomenal. I'm having the best day of my life. He said, really?
[01:07:34] I said, yeah, cuz I'm breathing. It's a good day. And they start laughing. Did you love, did I love somebody who felt like they would never get loved? Did I send something out where. Where, where they never would've been able to hear that. And I, I try to always do things in my, in my Instagram or, or through whatever avenue that I can to really show people that they're loved and that they're appreciated.
[01:07:55] I, I, I try to do things where, where I begin to let people know that no matter where you are, that you're loved and you're appreciated. I want to be able to love so bad that I lit, that I love the hell out of people. Like literally love the hell out of people loving the hellish things that are out of people that the hell that they're going through.
[01:08:10] I wanna love 'em so much that it comes out of their life to where they feel like they matter, that they feel like they have worth. When I talk about legacy, legacy is me sitting down with a gentleman who overdosed three months ago and, and was on the board of a flatline three different times, and when everybody else wanted to walk away with them, I chose to sit down with them and, and use whatever gifting I had of, of coaching to just begin to coach 'em.
[01:08:30] Not for another fee, not for anything else, but simply because God loves 'em and he sees them as, as who they are. And so, And begin to love on him. And as a result of that is his life is transformed, his marriage is being restored. His, he has a relationship with his daughter. And, and I think those are the things that, that I, I look at when I say, Jeff, did you love Outrageously?
[01:08:48] So I sign off all of my emails with Outrageous Love, Jeff T. Osborne, you know, because I want them to know that whether I know you are not, you're loved and appreciated and, and you never. What your love can do for somebody else. So when I look at the idea of legacy, I, I I, I look to live that I live to my fullest, that I, that I love.
[01:09:06] And the last thing is that I inspire to inspire me to, to, to, to, to breathe into somebody that I encourage, to encourage me in, uh, comes from the Latin word to means to cut or to put in, encourage, in other words, that I put courage into somebody today that I, that I make them feel good. That I allow them to know that you can accomplish everything you wanna accomplish in your life as you begin to honor God.
[01:09:26] And you put people first and, and you choose to focus on what really matters. And you're not in it for yourself. You're not in it for selfish
[01:09:32] gain,
[01:09:33] Jeff Osborne: but did you really inspire somebody else? Did you really encourage somebody else? And as a result, Zig Ziglar says it like this, if you help enough people get what they want, you'll have what you want.
[01:09:42] And I think the goal for me as a pastor is not to be envious of the businessmen who are there. You know, we, we have the ability of some of the largest businessmen in our valley, in the Coachella Valley. We have the ability to have Bible studies with them and to do these things with them. And it's great.
[01:09:56] And one of the things Pastor Obed taught me, he says, you know, you can't want what they have. Because if you want what they have, it has the ability to taint you and you become biased and, and do things that, that, that, that, that cause your, your integrity to be compromised. He says that, that that integrity is something that is hard to gain, but it's easy to begin to lose.
[01:10:16] And, and so I think there's a lot of us when there's pastors who are in these, these realms of church where they begin to envy what some of their, their big donors have, or we call 'em kings, what their kings have. And so you try to keep up with the Joneses rather than just staying in your lane and loving on them.
[01:10:31] I may not have, uh, a massive car dealership and all these business, so I may not have a financial company, but I have the responsibility of a car dealership and a financial company because I'm their pastor. And so my responsibility is to pray for them, to pray for their families. And at the end of the day, the Bible says that you, my desire is that you would prosper and be in good health as your soul prospers.
[01:10:50] And so I feel like as a pastor, I'm a soul doctor. And I think it kind of leads into the way that when we ask people, instead of asking the question to everybody else, Hey, how you doing? and then not waiting for an response. Like, it kills me when people are like, Hey, man, you know, how you doing? And you just walk away and you don't even stop to like, listen to what they say.
[01:11:07] Like, Hey, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. But instead of just asking the questions of how you you're doing, when you're really looking at leaving a legacy, you stop and you ask the question, man, how aren't you doing? Hey, are you not in the place where you want to be? Or is your marriage not where it's at? Um, um, how aren't the things working in your life that you desire to ask and then really stop and really care about them to really listen to what they're, to what they're saying.
[01:11:29] Live, love, inspired. Th those are the things that I begin to live of when I think about a legacy. And most importantly, I think about legacy. I think about the things that I begin to teach my children long after I'm gone. When I look at that funeral, I want people to say, man, he loved us so. So with, with reckless abandonment, I mean, there was nothing about him that he would not sacrifice begin to lay down for somebody.
[01:11:52] If you ask me, I wanna be a perfect picture of who Jesus was for us, is that, you know, he, he, he didn't count his life anything, but, but he, he, he looked forward to what was in front of him that he surrendered and he endured the cross for the joy that was set before. In other words, I was able to look at my sacrifice and see those who would come after me.
[01:12:09] When you look at legacy, legacy is bigger than you just giving yourself a great name, but it's leaving others in a higher place than you were yourself. When you look at Legacy, what I love about Pastor Bed is legacy is he said to me, sat me across the table, he says, son, I said, what's up, Bishop? And he goes, he says, you're going to go places that I've never been before.
[01:12:29] You're gonna stand on stages that I'll never be able to stand before, and I'm gonna step back as a father and be so proud of who you've become because you're called to go further than me. If you really wanna look at somebody who's a legacy builder, it's when they sacrifice and they give so that others can go further than them.
[01:12:48] If I had to give one sound advice for people who are out there and you're saying, man, what can I do to get my life to the next level? What can I do to be able to, to see a change in my marriage or to see that legacy that was shifted? The greatest thing that I can, I, I can share with people is don't be afraid of going after your faults.
[01:13:14] Don't be afraid of going after the skeletons that are in your closet that are there, and you've hung stuff there anyway, the greatest thing that you can do is be in a position where you acknowledge where you've made your mistakes, go after the areas in your life that you wanted to cover up and begin to get the work needed on it, because there's nothing worse than looking healthy on the outside, but begin to die on the inside.
[01:13:40] It's being able to understand that legacy is about you being healthy, not just externally, but internally and really looking at the areas of our lives where we say, you know what? I may not be perfect. I may not have it together, but I'm never gonna stop looking at myself as seeing what I can crack. The Japanese, when they built Toyota, they have a saying, um, it's a way of life, which is called kaan.
[01:14:04] And Kaan is the ability to do small changes little by little, which results in a large outcome. And so if you're going to look to change your life and leave a legacy, don't try to jump for the big ship. When I mean jump for the massive change, it's the small changes over time, the small tweaks over time that will lead to the greatest life that you can ever imagine.
[01:14:28] Don't be afraid to change the things one step at a time. Your life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. And as I begin to make those tweaks, and as you begin to change that, that marathon becomes more bearable and you can see the end in sight. When you look at yourself, you do those corrections, you get healthy people around just kaison one step at a time.
[01:14:49] Take it one step at a time. Change one small thing at a time, five minutes a day, change a book, read a different book, five minutes a day, read something. Look at something that you never would've take yourself out of. The element of giving you limiting thoughts and beliefs and those small little tweaks and those changes.
[01:15:04] The, I'm sorrys the man, I didn't see this. The Seeking Good Counsel small steps will allow you to get to a place where one day you're gonna begin to run in big strides and eventually win the race. And at the end of my day, the life that I'm here, I gotta understand that everything I'm doing here is preparing me for my next step is preparing for my next place.
[01:15:23] And for us, you know, we believe that it's heaven, but at the end of the day, I heard it said like this earth is the womb of heaven. In other words, how you learn to love here, how you worship God, how you treat people here is really preparing you for that life when you come into heaven. How you get to love people and love God and begin to, to do that with, with reckless abandonment.
[01:15:40] And, and if I, if I look back on my life and I look back on where we are, and I look back on. on the dreams and the visions that we have. You know, the reality is, is there's some people's lives that God has used me to be a part of where I just planted a seed and I never got to be a part of the harvest conversations that I had with people that, you know, they left me and or they, they, they chose to leave.
[01:16:10] And people that were in your life where you encouraged them on one moment and the next minute they begin to leave. And many times we get bitter about that and we allow bitterness to rob us of our legacy because rather than leaving a legacy, we try to spend the rest of our lives, uh, trying to get back at them and trying to get mad at the people who left your life.
[01:16:27] And, and I learned that, you know, be grateful for the moment that you were in their. And pray that the seeds that you dropped was something that somebody else will come along the line and water that seed and, and help them learn the lesson of how they're supposed to treat people or how they're not supposed to treat people.
[01:16:42] You know, you don't wanna burn a bridge cuz you may have to cross it back one day, but also when, as much as it remains in me, like the Bible says, be at peace with all men. And so when I look at my life and I look at where I am as a pastor, as a leader, there's so many people that you pour into. And I think legacy means that you don't have to be the one to finish the project.
[01:17:01] Legacy means you don't have to be the one who reaps the harvest and may be the one that you just plant that seed And, and if you look at the culmination of my life, and you look at the culmination of all the mighty men and the women out there who are in ministry, who are in these businesses, I think the greatest ones and the healthiest ones are the ones who set up the structure for those people to come alongside and build up the infrastructure.
[01:17:23] To be able to allow them to resurrect something that will go far beyond them. And so my greatest life, uh, that I can look at, the greatest thing that I can look at when it looks at legacy, I want them to say, man, he loved me with a reckless abandonment. He served and he laid his whole life on the line. He, he loved his wife and he honored her.
[01:17:44] He allowed his children to have a voice and be able to speak up so they know when they can stand up for things, when they see that they're not right. And ultimately, he gave his life to be somebody who plants seeds in other people's hearts. And at the end of my life, they can say, man, he was a great farmer of people.
[01:18:01] And at the end of my life, I look at my funeral, I want there to be a sea of people that says, man, because Jeff was here, our life was better. And for me, that's legacy.
[01:18:18] Thank you for listening to Pray.com's Relentless Hope podcast. I'm your host, Steve Gatena, and I'm here to help you love your life, lead with purpose, and lead a legacy of helping others. If you enjoyed this episode of Pray.com's Relentless Hope podcast, be sure to share it with someone in your life. You never know the impact you can make on someone's life by sharing one piece of inspiring content.
[01:18:47] Until next time, always remember to give hope a voice.
Surviving Prison and Turning Your Life Around - Jeff Osborne
[00:00:00] Steve Gatena: Welcome to Pray.com's Relentless Hope, a podcast that'll help you love your life, lead with purpose, and leave a legacy of helping others. Thank you for joining me on this journey. I'm your host, Steve Gatena. Let's get started with today's episode of Relentless Hope.
[00:00:25] Right after his 18th birthday, Jeff Osborne was incarcerated in LA County Jail and had to fend for his life after one of the Century's biggest race riots occurred on his cell block.
[00:00:41] Jeff Osborne: So while I'm there in '05, I'll never forget it was the, uh, it was the Saturday before Superbowl Sunday. And they call count time. When they call count time. I'll never forget the moment where we were rushed by Hispanic gang members and it was the year where there was one of the largest race riots against the blacks or African Americans and Hispanic gang members.
[00:01:02] And I remember fighting for my life in the middle of it, and I'm fighting for my life when these other members hitting me and out the corner of my eye, I see a shiny piece of object and, and it's another gang member. And I feel it cutting into my neck. And I have a scar on the right side of my neck where, where I could feel the razor blade beginning to cut into my neck.
[00:01:20] And the only thing I could yell out was Jesus. And I hear
[00:01:23] Boom.
[00:01:28] Steve Gatena: In part one of this three part series on Relentless Hope. We are gonna take a look into the life of Jeff Osborne from Indio, California. From Homelessness to Prison riots, Jeff found his purpose on a rollercoaster journey of faith. We start with Jeff as a young kid growing up in Huntington Beach, California.
[00:02:00] Jeff Osborne: What I love about my dad is that my dad really, really was an affectionate father. He, he, he really was the type of father that would, uh, constantly tell us that he loved us and he was strict in his discipline. Um, and, and many times, you know, I didn't agree with it, but at the end of the day, uh, I can say that a lot of the different characteristics that I have and different things that I've learned and the drive that I have, , came as a result of that.
[00:02:24] And so, I'm proud of doing that. But, but there was a moment I think in my life that really began to shift things for me. And I'll never forget, it was a moment I was in the, I was going into the sixth grade and, um, and growing up in the sixth grade, you know, my father was in the Marine Corps. He worked on, um, um, Northrop on building helicopters and all that when he got out and, and.
[00:02:45] In the midst of all of that, things began to happen and my father ended up losing his job and he started a company and, and things were going good, but in the middle of all of it, like in a split second, something happened that just completely changed my life. I'll never forget it was a knock on the door.
[00:02:59] And, uh, I have two older brothers who are twins and I have a younger sister. And when we heard the knock on the door, I opened it up and it was a sheriff. And, uh, when the sheriff was outside, he, he said, you know, it's this, the Osborne residence. I said, yeah, my father came to the door and basically what had happened was there was a company that was supposed to do some modifications for, uh, the loan and restructure that for the house that we, they had bought, and it was a scam.
[00:03:22] And so basically what had happened without my parents knowing, they deeded over the house to this company and they took it from us. And I remember he said, you had two hours to get outta your house. And in a minute we went from living this life in Huntington Beach from catching the bus 29 down Beach Boulevard and skating to, to now with all of our stuff and, and bags and trying to figure out what's going on.
[00:03:43] And, and I remember us having to give away our, our dog and, and, and as the dog drove away, Patcher, I remember looking at the, looking around and saying, well, what's going on? And my parents couldn't really, uh, explain to us. And so, um, time began to go forward and as time began to go forward, they said, Hey, you're gonna, Sleep at your aunt's house across the street.
[00:04:01] And so we were sleeping there and I could not, I ran, I'll never forget the next day that I woke up. I was wondering when I looked across the street how I couldn't go home. And so as I began to come to school, that was the catalyst for me that really began this, this, uh, uh, this inferiority complex that I had where it led me to a season of my life where I began to really just make up just lies about who I was and where I was.
[00:04:26] Because I couldn't come to grasp, I couldn't grasp the fact that, that we were homeless. And as a young boy and the sixth grade with a younger sister who was in the fifth grade, and my two older brothers, I couldn't understand how my parents, who loved God and how my parents who serve God, uh, would, would be in a situation where they were.
[00:04:43] And so it went from, Like that, that began to really just, just allow me to be in a place where I started creating this, this other person, if you will, where I would tell crazy lies because I wasn't happy with who I was. I wasn't happy with the life that I was living. Uh, like many people now, I, I found myself in the sixth grade just not understanding why we were sleeping.
[00:05:03] Six of us were sleeping in the back of a 1992 Lexus. And in moments where my parents would, would, would, when we could afford it, we would be in a motel and, and all of us sleeping and crammed on the floor. And my dad, uh, Would begin to ride his bike to work because we didn't have the stuff that was needed to put gas.
[00:05:20] We didn't have money to put gas in the car. And so I remember nights when my dad would come home and, and when my dad would begin to come home, I, I, I would watch him come into the room and just begin to cry as he watched all four of his kids crammed on the floor. And I remember my mom, uh, pretended like she wasn't hungry so that we could eat that day.
[00:05:38] And I remember mornings when I would wake up with my little sister and we had to catch the bus 29 from Buena Park and go an hour and a half all the way down to Fountain Valley just so that we can go to school. And her looking at me like she was hungry and trying to find out what I can do to kind of get that food for her.
[00:05:52] And, and I, and I begin to ask myself, man, is, is this what life is about? Is this is what following God is about? That I don't want anything to do with this God we were homeless for, for so long and, and eventually, Through that time I began to just kind of go into sports as my outlet go into skateboarding as my outlet.
[00:06:10] And all the time I was angry at God. I was mad at God because I was like, man, what? What kind of God is this? And I would watch my parents faithfully still serve and it was faithfully still believe in God. And, and it caused just this confusion for me, cuz how could a God be so good? Right? And, and you still be in this situation and feel so much pain.
[00:06:27] And in the midst of us growing up, it was a season in that the, the time of homelessness that we really raised ourselves as latchkey kids. The only way that I thought I
[00:06:35] could be accepted because I desired it, I, I desired acceptance. And that's the, I don't care what anybody says, no matter what your color is, no matter what your race is, everybody wants acceptance.
[00:06:44] And, and, and when I was in that situation where it was hard for me to really gain that for myself, I began to look for it in a negative light. I didn't care what it was. If somebody was gonna give me affirmation, whether it was good or bad, my heart was longing for that as a young man. And although my dad gave me the affirmation and, and always told me he loved me, there was something about me learning how to have my voice, learning how to figure out who I am and where I fit in this world, that really began to charge me to look at other avenues.
[00:07:10] And, and so around my. My, my, my senior year, I just turned to 18 and this is where my whole life took this dramatic turn. And, and really where all of my lessons began to go is that I was hanging out with some guys and, and, uh, we thought it was a good idea to go out to, to LA to get some tattoos. And, and in the midst of us getting LA we, we just were doing stuff that was just stupid, you know, being young punks in the car.
[00:07:32] And I basically made some bad decisions. And a long story short, that night we got arrested for six armed robberies and attempted murder, and I was the getaway driver. And in the midst of all of this stuff, my desire to be accepted drove me to a place where I was doing things that were beyond. My moral compass, it was beyond who I was.
[00:07:50] It was beyond everything that I believed in, but I just wanted that acceptance so bad that I just went along with it. We get arrested and as I get arrested, I'm in the substation and the officer's like, you know, why are you robbing people? And I said, I never got out. It wasn't me. And, and, um, And so what I didn't know is that while we were there in LA we were at the Tattoo, I was at the tattoo parlor.
[00:08:08] They asked to use my car to get some chips and soda in addition to the stupid stuff we're doing, but they pulled two additional robberies and, uh, with a gun. And, um, and, and when they, they had that moment where it happened, I'm, I'll never forget it because I get back in the car, we're driving and it was a moment where we, we tried to get this guy for his jacket and one of the guys hopped out the car, tried to steal his jacket, and the guy maces him.
[00:08:30] And I'm driving the car and he goes, turn around, turn around. So I turn around and he's hanging out the right side passenger window, and the guy's probably about 20 yards in front of us. And I'm driving, I, there's no thought in my head. And he's leaning out the car where the 22 revolver and he's pulling the trigger and the gun doesn't go off.
[00:08:45] The guy disappears. And shortly after that, we get arrested and as I get charged with it, they sit me there and they're like, Hey, you got a clear record. You're good to go. You're 18. The guys were the ones who identified, um, although you were a driver, it wasn't that bad the next day, because I was 18 years old, uh, they said, uh, Mr.
[00:09:02] Osborne, we got a deal for you. And I said, well, what's the deal? They said, we're offering you 16 years to life. I said, 16 years to life. And they said, well, your crime, he's getting 32 years to life, so you might as well be happy. And I said, you know, I'll take it. And they're like, what? I said, you do half and I'm gonna do half.
[00:09:17] And uh, they looked at me like I was crazy. Like, you know, my lawyer was like, you know, this doesn't work like that. I said, no, no. This is my first time. And so I'll never forget the moment where I really believe that God really entered my life. I was 18 years old. October 13th, 2005. I was on my knees in Culver City substation.
[00:09:34] And I said, okay, God, I'm done running. Whatever it is you have for my life, I'll follow it. You gotta show me that you're real though. I'll inhale everything in this book. And I had a Bible and I was like, everything that's in this book, I will inhale it, but you need to show me that you're real because I need you right now.
[00:09:49] And so they sent me to LA County Jail. LA County Jail is one of the hardest jails in the nation. And they say that if you could survive LA County Jail, you could survive any level four prison yard. And while I went there, I'm young, I'm 18 years old, you know, I've never been locked up a day in my life and I'm in there and I'm scared outta my mind.
[00:10:05] And reality hit that my desire to be accepted led me down a path with people that really didn't care about me. And as I fought. Fought for my case time after time. I found out that the police officers at that time, um, said, well, look, he's the 18 year old, so if you guys say that you guys were coerced by them, by him and, and said that he made you do it, that you get off Scott free and we'll put all the weight on him.
[00:10:27] And the other one who was 18, and that's what happened. The guys who identified guys who I thought they were my friends, they were on my basketball team, football team, they all turned on me and said it was me. And so the deal was 16 years to life. My, the Crimee who. One of my friends, they offered him 32 years to life.
[00:10:43] And I remember fighting my case when I was in there. And as I was fighting my case, I'll never forget that I said, okay, God, I'm in one of the most violent places ever. I'm in the gang bang module, which is the hardest 2000 floor in LA County Jail at that time. And um, and I remember looking at all of this devastation around me.
[00:10:58] I began to look at all of the, the, the people and the hopelessness that was there. And I made a decision right there. I would use God's word. I would use whatever I could to just teach myself, to grow and say, Hey, look, I, I, I can become something great here even though I'm surrounded by all of this chaos, all of this stuff.
[00:11:14] And I remember while I was in, there was like another world where every morning that I looked at my bars, I was reminded of my sin. Every morning that I looked up, I was reminded of all of the, the choices that I made. That that, that the acceptance of the wrong people really led me into a place of having wrong relationships.
[00:11:30] And, uh, so while I'm there in oh five, I'll never forget it was the, uh, it was the Saturday before. Uh, Chris, uh, was a Saturday before Super Bowl Sunday and they called count time. And when they count count time, I'll never forget the moment where we were rushed by Hispanic gang members. And it was the year where there was one of the largest race riots against the blacks or African Americans and Hispanic gang members.
[00:11:54] And I remember fighting for my life in the middle of it and from these other members hitting me. And out the corner of my eye I see a shiny piece of object and, and it's another gang member. And I feel it cutting into my neck and I have a scar on the right side of my neck where. Where I could feel the razor belly beginning to cut into my neck and the only thing I could yell out was Jesus.
[00:12:13] And I hear, boom. And I look to my right, he's laid out on the floor, but nobody's around me. And there were moments like this that, that, that I knew that God was just showing me these tiny little things or that that was a big thing. But these tiny little God moments, these kisses from heaven, that would remind me, Hey son, I'm here for you.
[00:12:29] Hey son, I'm walking with you. And, and through this time there was a story, uh, that was a big story that really began to, to catapult my life and. And it was a story of this man who, who, who had a name, and I won't, I can't share his name because I don't know if it's, you know, affiliation, but he was one of the head generals, a Nazi Lowrider prison gang.
[00:12:46] And my life was kind of like Joseph where God exalted me all the way to the highest position, which was laundry. So I got to push around carts and, you know, get the food that the officers ate. And, and so God kinda like elevate, I got the crispy new, you know, uniforms and, and new little, uh, kung fu jack slip on shoes that were fresh.
[00:13:03] So I, you know, you still gotta stay clean when you in there. And, uh, but he was the one who was pushing with me and, and we're sitting across the table from one another waiting for the officers to come and give us our tray of food. And I'm looking at him like, man, you know, you seem very stressed out man.
[00:13:15] You seem really stressed. And, and he looked up at me, man, like this chocolate boy lost his mind. He doesn't know who does he know who he's talking to? I'm the head general, the Nazi Lowrider prison gang. He has swastikas the size of my head and lightning bolts symbolizing, he killed blacks. And, and, and, and he looked at me and he goes, man, you would be two if you had 27 felony counts against you.
[00:13:34] And I said, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you got me on that one. Absolutely. And, and in the midst of all of that, he was like, I said, well, hey, I know a great lawyer. He was like, what? I said, man, he knows the judge. He knows the DA. He's connected with everybody here in LA. And he's like, man, I don't have any money for that.
[00:13:50] And I said, no, no, he's pro bono. And he was like, well, who is he? And I said, Jesus. And he looked at me with the craziest look in his eyes, like, oh, I know this boy lost his mind. And as time began to progress, he began to ask me a little more about it and a little more, and a little more. And I remember the time where he used to draw portraits so that he could, you know, make his living.
[00:14:12] And it got to a point where he lost everything. He didn't have any more drawing utensils, he didn't have anything. And he became one of my best friends in there. And I ended up taking, asking Nadia, my wife, to take all of my. And put it on his booking number. And I said, Hey, go to court. And he goes, well, am I gonna, I said, go, go to the store.
[00:14:28] And he goes, well, why would I go to the store? And I said, man, come on. Fill out your commissary things. I have no money. I said, come on, you know my god's in the miracle business. And he said, no. He said, finally, okay, fine, preacher, boy, I'm gonna fill it out. So he finally filled it out and when he filled it out, it was this moment where, where I said, but when you fill it out, fill out like you're expecting to get something great.
[00:14:47] He says, okay. Because oftentimes when we don't have a lot, you find that we begin to minimize what God can do when he really wants to maximize stuff in our life. We sell ourselves short, uh, when God wants us to, to go for the long game. You know, go for the big thing. And so finally he fills it out. He goes, look, preaching boy, here it is.
[00:15:02] You know, he finally fills it out. And I love how God has a sense of humor because that wins that commissary, they call store. When they call store, they end up, you know, they end up, uh, calling everybody's name except his. And when they call everybody's name except his, uh, he looks at me and he's like, all right, see preacher boy, you know what use is your God.
[00:15:18] And I'm just sitting on my back bunk reading my Bible, and, and as I'm reading my Bible, they finally call his name. And when they call his name, this massive bag gets pushed through the bars
[00:15:29] and
[00:15:30] he's stuck. And he's just staring at me, and he walks over to me slow, and he's shaking and there's tears that are in his eyes.
[00:15:38] And he asked me the question. He says, preacher boy, how did you know? And I'm just staring at him. He goes, my own people wouldn't do this for me. He said, I've killed your people and you would do this for me. I remember the words that came out of me as if it was yesterday. The only thing I said was because my God did it for me, and he shook his head and he walked away.
[00:16:03] Later on that night, he came up to me and said, Hey, preacher boy. I said, what's up? He says, whatever it is you have. I want and it was in that moment that I led him to the Lord. And it was that moment that he accepted Christ. And the next day he went to court, 25 of the 27 counts got dropped. He had proof to show the other two weren't him, and it got released just like that.
[00:16:24] And it was moments like that that begin to show me the power behind the love of Christ and, and how God's love will go do bigger than any type of theology or Greek or Hebrew words that you got, you could try to throw at somebody or bash 'em over the head with the Bible. What changed? What got his heart in a position where he could receive the same God that was in the place where I was at.
[00:16:42] Was one word and the word was love. And I love that because love is the most powerful thing. People die because of it. People die out of a lack of it or they'll kill for it. It's something that we all needed in that moment. Whether he had lightning bolts all over his body or or swastika was something that he saw that finally somebody who didn't look like me, who I persecuted, showed me the unconditional love of God.
[00:17:03] And because of that, his life was forever changed. And fast forwarding, I get to this place where they say, Mr. Osborne, you know we got this great deal for you. I said, what's up? Last time you guys told me 16 years to like this said, no, no, no. If you go to trial, you'll get off Scott free, but your crime will get 32 years to life.
[00:17:16] This whole time I'm hearing from God and I was like, man, what do I do by my crime? Me wasn't gonna make it in there. He was claiming stuff in gangs that he wasn't from and, and things weren't safe, and he almost lost his life a few times in there. And so I said, man, what do I do? What do I do? So I was praying, and when I went to go Pray was the Thursday before Easter Sunday, 2006.
[00:17:34] I said, God, what do you want me to do? and I hear nothing. And I remember I was so mad. I said, God, how is it that I'm doing everything you've asked me to do? How is it that I'm praying for people? They're getting off. People are, you know, I know I admitted my faults and all this stuff, but these people were open blatantly like you know, doing dirt and you let them free, but yet I'm still here.
[00:17:53] And so I remember I went back and, and I was in my dorm and I was debating whether or not I was gonna give up on God. I said, God, I've done everything you've asked me. And all of a sudden now this silence of, of like where I was at, I remember him saying to me, you remember when you said you wanted to be an evangelist?
[00:18:09] I said, yeah. He says, you don't put in requests where you want to go. And it was that moment that I knew what I had to do. So I called my mom up. I said, mom, if they give Rob a decent deal, I'm gonna take whatever they give me. And she goes, baby, but there's a race right in there. What if you die as a result of this?
[00:18:24] You have the opportunity to get out. And I say, well mom, then I die a martyr because somebody needs to know who my God is. And they need to know that Jesus loves them unconditionally. And that day I, the next day I went to court and they dropped him from 32 years to life to four years, what? 85%. 16 years to life was my deal.
[00:18:41] And they sent me to Chino State Prison, a strike and a felony. When I got to Chino State Prison, I had lost every scholarship up to that point. College coaches were writing letters on my behalf trying to get that out. But nothing worked and I didn't understand God. And even as a young man, I found myself back at that place when I was in the sixth grade, when I was looking at all of our trash bags in the front of our house, trying to figure out why I couldn't go home.
[00:19:03] I found that little boy, the same one who was right in front of me, like, God, why can't I go home? And they threw me in solitary confinement. I was locked down for three months and pitch black. They wouldn't give me any utensils to eat. I had to eat with my hands. They took everything from me except my Bible.
[00:19:20] And I feel like, dude, that was the worst thing the enemy could have ever done because I'm. There was a little sliver of light up against a concrete wall, and I have scars all over the left side of my face where my cheek would become raw because I would push my cheek against the wall just so I can read God's word just so I can get some type of life in me.
[00:19:37] Because what I loved is that no matter where I was, you know, like Paul says, although I'm chains. You know, I'm free. And, and I love how the Bible says that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty, there is freedom. And so I found this freedom in the midst of one of the darkest places of my life.
[00:19:52] I found this freedom to recognize that, that, that, that where I was isn't who I was because who I was was greater than where I was. And, and, and although I looked at my bars, I be, I began to believe crazy things. I began to believe God, you know what? You can turn it around. I know I signed my deal. I know I'm in prison right now, but, but I know you can do it, even though I was locked down 23 hours a day.
[00:20:13] Uh, or I mean 24 hours a day, eating with my hands and having a little sliver of light. The Lord really just kept my mind sane because I began to read that word and begin to speak words of affirmation over my life. This man, I'm gonna get out. And I began to envision where I could go and the lives of people that I would change.
[00:20:29] And the, the people next to me would laugh at me. The guards would laugh at me and they would say, dude, you're stupid. You're not going anywhere. Your life is never gonna change. Do you see where you're at? You're in a prison jumpsuit and your life isn't gonna change or get any better. And, and through that, I began to just still do what I do best.
[00:20:43] And that's the pour to the lives of people. It was funny how the same thing that happened when I was a young boy, my love for people, no matter where they were, was the very thing that kept me sane when I was in prison. And 11 and a half months into my sentence, uh, they moved me to a level four prison yard.
[00:20:57] And from my cell, I could see my, uh, I could see my parents' neighborhood where they lived. And it was the worst feeling to feel like you were so close to home. And yes, so far, and. I remember looking at the car. Could that be them? It it, maybe that's them. I wonder if they remember me. I wonder if they, they, they, you know, are, are they writing letters for me?
[00:21:18] And, and it was that loneliness that I felt. And I remember I was there on the top of my bunk and I would begin to cry and I said, God, I just need. a hug. I had no interaction, no, no letters. They pulled that from me. I said, God, would you just hug me? And I remember I felt this warmth come over my body and it braced me like crazy.
[00:21:35] And I just began to cry. It was that moment that I really felt like God had embraced me in the midst of my worst pain. Where I began to realize not only is love powerful, but even when you make a mistake that God never holds it against you, but he loves you in the midst of where you are and through where you are.
[00:21:50] And um, as I heard my sister's graduation music, I couldn't be there for her, my baby's sister. And, and through this whole thing and through this whole ordeal, 11 and a half months in, they say, ah, it's gonna roll it up. And I said, what, where am I going? I said, you're going back up to court. And I said, back up to court.
[00:22:04] So I go back up to court. When I go back up to court, they say, um, they say, I said, well, why am I going to court? They said, well, I don't know. So they send me all the way back up to LAX courthouse and I said, go back up to LAX courthouse. I, I'm in there and the race riots happen again. And I said, look, God, if you don't move, I'm gonna die.
[00:22:20] There's no way I'm gonna get outta this. We were outnumbered by the Hispanic gang members and they pulled me out. It was like this saving grace. And I remember going in there and, and, and when I went in there, they told me, okay, well Mr. Osborne, you gotta wait for this recess. So they sent me back to the cell.
[00:22:33] And when they went to the holding tank, and I remember I was sitting there and I was stressed out. And I remember this, this, this, this old school gangster, we call him an OG. Uh, he was there and he said, Hey, preacher boy, why you stressed out? I said, man, I, I don't know if I'm gonna live. And he said, what did you always teach us preacher boy? Don't look to the bigness of your problem. Look to the bigness of your God. And he said, look at me. I was, you know, I'm, I'm, I was supposed to get 25 years. and now I'm only serving five. He said, God showed me grace and all of my addiction and all of my problem where I shouldn't have had a second chance, but they granted me a second chance at life.
[00:23:10] And I don't know about you, but I wasn't rejoicing over even five years. I was like, well, shoot if that's for you, you know, to each man his own. But, but it was amazing opportunity for him to say that and to remember, I didn't even know this guy and I didn't know he had heard me, or he was listening or he was watching me, but in the end, he, he quoted something that I had spoken to his life and caught along the way.
[00:23:28] And so I, I postured myself different. I went from stressing to getting on my knees and saying, God, look, you can do all things. I believe your word. Whatever you have for me is for me. And so what ended up happening was I go back in the judge says. Mr. Osborne, upon reviewing your letter, and I said what letter?
[00:23:46] He says, you have a letter on your behalf from the assistant warden of Chino State Prison. I never saw the man, never met the man, never shook his hand. He said, this is a good man, a young man who hit a bump in the road.
[00:23:57] Let him go.
[00:24:01] And when I should have served 16 years to life, I served 11 and a half months.
[00:24:05] They gave me a strike and a felony, but the same DA who my attorney said is the hardest DA in all of la And I told him, Hey man, you know, I believe God can do it. He goes, no, I believe in God, but God ain't gonna touch the heart of this da. This same DA looked me in my face. And said, Mr. Osborne, I'm proud of you.
[00:24:20] Don't make these mistakes again. Watch who you hang out with. Go home. And on July 17th, 2006, I walked out of, uh, walked from prison outta LAX courthouse into the arms of my, my, my wife. And, and I remember that it was just the moment where my life began to change dramatically. And we went through a phase where we were homeless for a little bit and I was like, God, is this really you?
[00:24:45] Is this the great life? You saved me from prison just to put me in a living prison? I remember a Tuesday night I was driving to tell our landlord that we didn't have the money to do it. We had to do to pay for rent. And I felt like I heard these words. And, uh, whether it was the devil or whoever you want to call these dots, said to me, man, Jeff, you might as well kill yourself.
[00:25:03] Death would be a relief compared to the hell you were going through. And I remember taking my car and flooring it, going 60 miles an hour towards a pole. I closed my eyes because I felt like I was a failure. I couldn't take care of my wife. I took take care of my kids and driving down that road, I let go.
[00:25:22] I was waiting for the impact. I remember going off the curb and I closed my eyes and I hear all this noise,
[00:25:30] and then all of a sudden it's silent. And I'm like, man, am I in heaven? And I hit these drops, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, and I open my eyes
[00:25:40] and it's rain on the windshield, and I'm perfectly parallel parked on the side of the road and have no idea how I go 60 miles an hour towards a pole, and perfectly parallel parked.
[00:25:50] It's that moment where I felt like God spoke to me. He said, son, I have an amazing purpose for you. I know it seems hard right now, and, and I know you're where you are right now. But, but I, hold on. I remember getting out. The rain was just pouring on me. He's like a movie scene. And that next moment, I, I had a, a gentleman who called me, he says, Hey, is this Jeff?
[00:26:08] And I said, yeah. He goes, Hey, this is Andre. You came to a bible study. I said, Hey Andre. He was a very successful businessman, literally like the next day. And he goes, Hey man, God put you on my heart and I just wanna let you know that you and I are cut from the same cloth. And I said, what? He goes, you and I are cut from the same cloth.
[00:26:24] Here's a multimillionaire guy who's like, you know, telling me, you know, this is where I'm at and we're cut from the same cloth. And, and all of these things began to happen. And, and as this began to happen, I began to say, man, well what is it that he saw that was inside of me that. That made him say that.
[00:26:41] And it changed my whole life. I mean, I, it changed my posture. I began to walk a little different, like, man, well, he found something in me. And, and I remember he, he, he saw something in me and it really began to, to cause my new journey where I was like, okay, God, well I'm gonna begin to believe everything you say about me, even though as hard as it is.
[00:26:55] And it was then that I got the phone call from the co, the government of Bermuda, and they said, Hey, you know, is this Jeffrey? And I said, yeah. They said, well, man, are. You're a former gang member, right? And I said, yeah. And they said, well, we're having problems with gangs here in the country of Bermuda. We wanna know if you can come and speak.
[00:27:08] So we ended up going out there and, and speaking, and it was one of the most amazing things. I was like, well, hey, do I have to pay for it? Like, how far do I have to drive to get to Bermuda ? And they were like, no, no, you gotta fly. You know? And so I remember going there and I, and I, and just my mind was blown how, how God used my story and my testimony and my pain to deal with some of the largest drug lords.
[00:27:25] And it went from that to me doing work with the president, who they call the premiere and the vice premiere. And, and, and from there it went to training over 600 government officials and training the SWAT team on how to disengage active gang members. And then getting into the mind and the mentality of a gang and teaching them how, you know, gang.
[00:27:41] Serves a need. And when a gang member finds a way to facilitate that need in a different manner, they no longer need the gang as was my fault or was my situation. And so it went from that to us living in Bermuda. So we ended up moving to Bermuda. My wife, we had a daughter then, so it was two of us were living in Bermuda.
[00:27:56] And, and we were doing that. And I just began to see the love of God there. And God began to transition that season when it was done and brought us over. And they began to hear about my story and what I was doing, and they asked me to give a, you know, share my story at, at a graduation. And so I went from that to speaking for this organization where it, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, and, and, and I began to share my story of how to overcome, and it just really began to just catapult my life and I didn't even know it.
[00:28:20] And so now, You know, being married and now having two kids and, and now, you know, pastoring a church. And 10 years ago, if you asked me, would culminate to me being a pastor culminate to where I am right now, the answer would be no. But if I look back on my life and I look back on all of my pain, I look back on everything.
[00:28:37] I can honestly say that, that God was with me in that journey. And even in my mistakes, I learned the goodness of God. I learned the love of God. And, and where I am, it's a, it's a group of a group of friends of mine, and I'm a good friend. Julian always says, you know, there's a saying. It's like, you know, stay H and H and H and H means
[00:28:53] hungry and humble.
[00:28:54] And I think where I am in my life, what got me to where we are when I look at my whole life's story, um, it's really staying hungry and humble and recognizing that God loves you, uh, beyond where you are and getting to a place that
[00:29:05] if you don't supersize your dream, uh, you'll live a happy meal life.
[00:29:09] And so that's something for me that I really live by and, and I'm just grateful to be where I am and, uh, and be there.
[00:29:18] I feel like everybody wants to be a leader. Now. I'm a leader. I'm a ceo, I'm a pastor, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm all this stuff. But they don't understand that leadership comes at a price. I remember people looking at all these Instagram guys and, and they want to be Instagram famous and get all these followers and, and do all these things.
[00:29:32] So what do they do? They only post their highlight reels on Instagram, right? They, they post all of the good moments, and, and what we see is the 20,000 people that, that pastor, or we see the, the, all the stages that they're performing on and, and, and we see all of these amazing things that, that you see them doing.
[00:29:48] But what you don't see is all of the years it took, when people slam the doors in their face, you don't. See all of the time that it took when people turned them down and all the things that they put their hopes and everything in, and it came down to nothing. And they don't show you that part of leadership.
[00:30:02] They just show you. All you see is the highlight reels. And like Stephen Frederick says, you don't see the behind the scenes of, of really what happens. And the behind the scenes is what's the ugly part? , you know, is it it, the behind the scenes, there ain't no filter in life. Now I realize that you can throw on your Instagram that can, that that can shield you from the pain and the price of what it costs to be in leadership.
[00:30:22] The pain that it costs to get where you are. It costs you everything.
[00:30:30] In part two of this three part series on Relentless Hope, Jeff Osborne talks about the price it takes to develop leadership. He defines the idea of leaders and the principles of leadership that can be applied to live a better life. In this episode, we'll learn how to be more transparent, think deeply, and ask provocative questions in order to get the results we need to become a better leader.
[00:31:05] Moving into this, this next season of my life, it really brought me to this new idea of leadership. And I think if I had to sum up my life in this leadership role that I'm moving, as he began to teach me these things, it was a story my friend shared with me. Uh, my good friend Justin Sapp, he's an amazing story telling and communicator, but he told this story when he was in Africa and when he is in Africa, he was there as a college student and, and as they were in Africa, they're riding on the bus and, and his professor is there, he is a doctor, and they're riding on the left side.
[00:31:32] He shields his eyes and everybody on the bus starts shielding their eyes. This bright light is coming their way and shielding his eyes and he's like, man, you know what, what, what, what, what, what is it about this light? Like, what's going on? Everybody couldn't figure out. On the left side, there was this bright light on the right side.
[00:31:47] You would look out the window and it was just sheer poverty. It was, it was absolute poverty. And all of the things that you can think of from kids not having clothes and bellies. And they would just stand there. And he asked his professor, he said, professor, you know, what is that light? And in his deep African accent, he was like,
[00:32:04] you don't want to know with that is.
[00:32:06] He's like, no, no, no, tell me. Like I really want to know. You know, what is that light? He says, no, I cannot tell you. And he said, please, he is Zu. Okay. I will tell you. He says, those are the remnants of diamonds. The French, the Germans the Russians. They come and they want to dig the diamonds out, but if they come, they will leave the people in worst state than before.
[00:32:28] But, but the people don't have the two tools to dig out the diamonds. And so the diamonds sit and the people suffer. The diamonds sit and the people suffer.
[00:32:47] And I remember when I heard that like. It just, it, it hit me to my core, how, how many of us, God has placed some of the greatest gifts inside of us.
[00:32:57] And yet, because we don't have the proper tools to be able to dig them out, all of the giftings, everything that we have in us, it begins to lay dormant in these or the things that could change your marriage. It could change your relationship, it can change your life. It can change everything around you.
[00:33:12] But if you're not aware of who you are and what's inside of you, then nothing can ever change. I, I love the interview between Steven Furtick and Uncle TD Jakes. I call him Uncle TD Jakes. I don't know him, but one day I, I feel like he's been a man that has impacted my life from afar. But he shared this story, and when they were sitting down and they were interviewing him about what makes you as successful as you are, and I remember Uncle TD said it like this.
[00:33:33] He says, I'm, I'm in touch with myself, more than most people are. I've learned how to date myself. I've learned how to court myself into knowing who I am and who God created me to be. And I'm so in touch with a level of myself that it allows me to pull things out of me that most people can't pull. And he began to share how the greatest journey his mother had taught him was a journey to figure out who you were.
[00:33:56] It was, it was inwardly. As you dig deep, they say, you know, dig deep and grab that gusto or grab that strength. And, and digging deep really is us choosing to go into the areas of our lives and say, God, what else have you placed inside of me? And I think that when you look at my idea of leadership, and if I'm gonna be honest with you, we live in a age now as millennials.
[00:34:14] I'm 31 years old, I'll be 32. And, and, and now being blessed to. To pastor Church of, of, of several hundred people in, in, in a matter of, you know, 14 months of where we are and growing and seeing some of the greatest leaders. And for me, sitting under one of the greatest leaders, pastor Obed, uh, uh, pastor Obed Martinez, we're able to bring in, uh, tons of leaders through, through an organization we have called Passionate Pastors.
[00:34:37] And, and really what we do is we grow pastors. That's what we say. Well, we have over 400 churches represented where we just bring in the top pastors all over the world who are doing phenomenal things and, and we bring 'em to a place where you can. You know, get fed as a pastor, you can get poured into as a pastor and begin to grow.
[00:34:53] And as I begin to look at this whole idea of, of, of leadership and what it is, if I'm gonna be completely honest and transparent, I think nowadays everybody wants to have a leadership podcast. Everybody wants to be deemed a leader, everybody wants to go into leadership. But if, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, and the only way that I can speak of for me is that for me, this, this last, you know, two years of coming here and even leadership that I've learned in my life is there's a lot of leadership principles that are phenomenal.
[00:35:19] And having done that for 10 years and, and, and being a corporate life coach and, and seeing those things, leadership is great. But what I realize about leadership is leadership, uh, uh, Scott Williams says is less about the leader and more about the ship. When you're looking at leadership, it has less to do with what you can get.
[00:35:36] But it's more about what you can give for others. And, and, and, and the greatest leaders are the ones who will give their life to see others begin to succeed in a healthy way. Not that you would begin to suffer as an expense of it, but really leadership is being able to lead your ship so that everybody else can get to a greater destination.
[00:35:55] And one of the things that I really love is that when you look at the idea of leadership, it really is this idea that, that people have this ability to really want things for themselves. And people have the ability to, to want to begin to, to look at where they are in their life. And look at what I can get.
[00:36:10] I don't want everybody to look at me like this. And, and so when I came into, everybody ask me, you know, Jeff, what's your leadership secret? And in this season, if I'm gonna be completely honest with you, is I, my struggle wasn't learning what it means to be a leader. For me it was learning what it meant to be a son.
[00:36:25] And I think in our generation, for us, We really want to be in a place where we want to be a spiritual leader or we want to be able to lead. And, and I think the challenge with that is that we're all leaders. We're all leaders. I don't care whether you're leading a, you know, a 5,000 member organization and you're a CEO or if, if you're, if you're, if you're the founder of Pray.com and, or, or, or whether you're running Nike or, or whether you're running your house, whether you're leading a football team, whether you're leading your group of friends who you have, all of us in some capacity have been called to leadership.
[00:36:59] And if we look at leadership as the ability to be able to lay down your life, being able to sacrifice for the betterment of somebody else. You'll begin to find out that that leadership is, is the ability to be able to not just only lead from the front, but leading from the back. And I think that's the, the paradox, if you will, about leadership is that true leaders learn how to lead from the back so that they're not the ones who have to be seen, but they're the ones who's pushing it and pushing people and, and thriving to allow them to be seen.
[00:37:27] And for me, I, I learned that, that for me, in this season of my life, it's sonship. It's what does it mean to be a spiritual son? What does it mean to be where I'm at? And what I've learned is the greatest gift is that, that for me, um, in order for me to have authority, I had to be under authority. And I think everybody has this place where it's almost like my son, Jayden, you know, uh, when Jayden and Amaya get into argument, and they're fighting and, and Amaya is like, you know, Jayden gimme my toy back.
[00:37:53] And my son's like, no, I'm not giving it to you. And she's like, I want my toy back. And he's like, no. We've taught them like, listen, if you can't get something, what do you do? Come to dad, come to mom. And, and what we were trying to teach him is the principle that you may not have the power in yourself, but when you carry the right authority, things begin to happen.
[00:38:13] And so I, we taught him, Hey, you come to me and, and you, you, when you come to us, you let us know. And so he would come, he won't gimme my toy. And I said, you let him know that Daddy said give the toy back. And so she would go back and, and when she'd go back, he'd be like, give my toy. And he'd be like, no. She goes, daddy said, and immediately whether he wanted to or not, that little brother handed over that toy unless he wanted to lose some of his privileges real quick.
[00:38:38] Then the reality is for many of us, when we look at that leadership, it's really about, especially in ministry, I'm gonna take a moment and really talk about ministry. Really being a leader, you have to learn what it means. to follow. Great. First. In order to be a leader, you gotta learn how to be a great follower and, and not just a follower in that sense, but I used the word sonship.
[00:38:56] And sonship doesn't just equate to just a boy, but it also equates to a daughter. You know, any, everywhere in the Bible you talk about only the sons got the inheritance. And, and, and so in the Bible, the sons were the ones who received the inheritance. And the girls who, uh, would be married, they would become the daughters and the daughters would get the inheritance as a result of the son, you know, choosing to be a son and gain that inheritance.
[00:39:17] And when I began to realize more in my life that I had more authority to learn things about leadership when I submitted to leadership. And it doesn't mean that when I say submit, everybody's like, oh yeah, I submit in church, or I submit to this. But it's not submission until they ask you to do something that you really don't want to do, then that's real submission.
[00:39:34] And, and so in my life, when you ask me about leadership, my goal is not trying to get people. To get a better plan in 25 days to get to this level. When I'm looking at it, when you talk about leadership, leadership causes you to have to go into a place of your life where you have to dig into the drudgery and the stuff that you don't want to go into, to pull out the areas in your life that are gonna harm you.
[00:39:56] I think the greatest leaders are the ones who are not afraid to examine themselves and be open and transparent about where they are in their life, their faults in their life, the areas where they have shortcomings and they say, man, look, I blew it out my nose. Can you forgive me? I, I, I was sitting down with one of our young leaders today and I begin to talk to 'em about the greatest gift of, of promotion is really what I believe is transparency.
[00:40:17] Transparency is the currency to elevation. And I truly believe that, that the more transparent we are as leaders, the greater our, the people around us will begin to believe us. The greater the people around us will begin to say, Hey, they don't have any ulterior motives behind them. So I can follow somebody like that.
[00:40:33] But
[00:40:33] Jeff Osborne: many leaders have, you know, they, they cover things or they try to hide things and they don't really lay out, Hey, look, this is, this is where I'm at. And they, they all, Hey, this is where, where, where I'm at. And I think we live in an age now, especially with millennials and especially with what we're faced with on social media, we see so much real stuff that I can smell a fake, a mile away.
[00:40:50] And, and, and as you begin to transition an outside of the millennials, I think as we go back into a place of leadership of coming into transparency where Jesus allowed his disciples to see his transparent moments that they allowed him to go into the garden of Gethsemane. He's like, look, pray for me. I'm, my, my soul is like, I'm, I'm, I'm in sorrow right now.
[00:41:09] And just as much as Jesus really, really did. I think what we don't see are the moments in between the pages and all the time that Jesus spent with the disciples breaking bread with the disciples and Jesus being the perfect picture of who we're supposed to be in leadership, who he didn't Lord it over anybody.
[00:41:25] He didn't say, look, I'm the son of God. You better bow down to me. But, but I love how he opens up with this idea of leadership in Matthew where they, they come to him and they say, well, well what are you doing hanging out with all these sinners? What are you doing hanging out with all these people? And he asked this question, I feel like Jesus was like the ultimate life coach because, you know, being a life coach, I love questions because thinking leads to questions, questions lead to answers and answers lead to the results we have in our life.
[00:41:51] So if we don't see the results, that we want to have in our life. The question is, is are we receiving the right answers? And if we're not receiving the right answers, the question is, is am I asking the right questions? Because if I'm not asking the right question, that's an obvious sign that I'm not really thinking about where I am right now.
[00:42:10] And so I love how Jesus always ask, he always asks these crucial questions like these drop the mic moments where where they're sitting down, they say, man, well, what are you doing with these sinners? And what are you doing with all these people? And Jesus says to 'em, it's so cold. I love it. He goes, he goes, who is it that is in need of a physician?
[00:42:26] Is it those who are sick or those who are well? And I think when you, I mean that was the drop the mic moment. I was like, ah, like that, you know, he killed at it. And if it was that, I'd give 'em all these fist pump emojis and a hundred signs and you know, they're going, that flex the muscle because the way that a leader really is able to impact his people is to allow them to ask provocative questions that get them to start thinking, that begin to question the motives of why I'm doing, not just telling us what to do, but tell me why I'm doing what I'm doing.
[00:42:58] Begin to question how I can come to my own results as I, as I am where I am right now. And that's what you begin to look at. When you look at the life of Jesus, when you look at the life of leadership, it's really getting them into a place where you're so transparent that they're looking at your life and as they're looking at your life, they can see the areas where you're asking questions and they begin to ask questions.
[00:43:16] And the Disci Disciples would be like, man, God, Jesus, what did you mean by that? And I love that because when they begin to ask these questions now, it was a sign that man, they were learning from their rabbi. And I love that on, on our staff. We have a messianic rabbi. And so, you know, you really hit the good question where he kind of gets a smirk on his face because you can't come to the Rabbi without first asking these questions that are good questions and showing that you've been thinking in your provocative.
[00:43:38] And I think leadership is really about transparency when you look at that transparency and it's really about knowing that you're there to really serve others and, and, and you're there to really to do that. And I think the hardest part about leadership is we want to be able to lead. We want to be in the front and we want people to look at us and see who we are.
[00:43:57] But the reality is, is leadership hurts. and nobody talks about that. Leadership requires moments where you question yourself moments when you're like, man, God, I poured my whole life into this person and yet they hurt me. And, and I, and I, and leadership is one of those things where you have to get to the point where every time that somebody hurts you, that the mark of a true leader is to make sure that you have people around your life.
[00:44:22] That are gonna be able to help your heart heal when you've been broken. I mean, I came to Pastor Obed, me and Nadia came to Pastor Obed and Pastor Lissette being broken. We didn't come healed, we didn't come as, you know, the greatest pastors ever. We came broken. But one of the things that we had to allow and do it was hurt from another pastor was hurt from another church.
[00:44:40] And one of the things that we had to learn was to allow our hearts to get mended. Not so that we can protect ourselves from being hurt, but so that we can put it back out there for somebody else. The chance of knowing that somebody could hurt me again. And I think the mark of a real leadership is to be able to have those people around you that even when your heart is hurt, that you don't allow it to create bitterness, but you have people around you that can speak into your life to allow your heart to mend again.
[00:45:06] And it's not just in church. This is an everyday life. And so whether you know you're driving in your listening this at work, or you have arguments that you've had with your brother or your sister, or your mom or your dad, the goal is to have people around you that don't justify your bitterness, but they allow you to be in a place where you can be healed so that you can love again and.
[00:45:24] And I think that's the biggest challenge for us is that we, we say, you know, I've been hurt, and so now because I've been hurt and I gave my trust to somebody, now I'm untrustworthy. I don't trust, I got trust issues. No, no, no. You don't have trust issues. The challenge was that you put your trust in somebody who was untrustworthy.
[00:45:41] And so it has nothing to do about you and everything to do about that other person. And so rather than cut yourself off from love, rather than cut yourself off from being able to lead in the place where you could lead and lead in your family and lead with your children and lead in your organization or lead in your church, what happens is we lead from a place of pain and hurt.
[00:45:57] And whenever you do that, you lead from a place of skepticism. So now you don't trust people and now you don't see them for who they are. And you could be smack dab in the healthiest situation ever. But because you have not allowed people in your life to work on your heart and begin to grow you and and, and to begin to work on those areas, now you are robbing yourself of an experience that God could be wanting to bless you with a new job.
[00:46:18] But because you know you're living from the past, you're in a new situation with an old mindset. And that's one of the worst things to do in leadership, is to come into a new leadership role with an old mindset of somebody who hurt you from the past. And so being able to make sure that you're able to have those hard checks or things that you can really begin to learn in, um, in leadership.
[00:46:36] One of the hardest things that I learned though, if I'm being open and and more transparent, is I had to learn the greatest thing that you can say in leadership, and I know it sounds cliche, is man, I don't know, , it's saying, I don't know. It's, it's saying, man, I'm, I'm learning right now and this is where I'm at.
[00:46:53] But my dedication is that as I, as I journey through this season of learning and journey through this season of of, of beginning to grow, I think what's allowed our church campus personally to grow as fast as it is, is our ability to admit the things that we don't know, but also get in a mindset to say, I'm not gonna stay in a place where I don't know.
[00:47:12] And when people see. that transparency when they see that honesty. When you recognize the greatest thing you can do is know what you don't know. It gives you the opportunity to then begin to gain knowledge. Socrates says the first part and gaining knowledge is to know what you don't know. And so, um, rather than try to wing it, I've been there before.
[00:47:33] I mean, it was one of the roughest moments coming in into pastoring. I thought, you know, I can motivate and I can encourage, and, you know, that's what it's about. So rah rah, rah, you can do it. And being set up and tear down after 14 months, all the inspiration in the world, can't get nobody to move when you're doing that.
[00:47:46] And, and what I began to learn was one of the hardest moments when Pastor Obe, my pastor called me in and he said, can I teach you something? I said, yeah. And, um, one of the things that, that he shared with me, he says, you need to understand that encouragement is great, motivation is great, but what you need to learn is you need to learn where the hearts of your people are and figure out how to best serve,
[00:48:13] they're hearts. And, and when he said it to me, it was one of those moments where, you know, you don't want to hear that. You know, you don't, you don't want to hear what he said, no, gimme something else. Like, you're doing a great job. Or, you know, I'm loving that. But I begin to realize in that moment that leadership
[00:48:27] comes at a price.
[00:48:31] I feel like everybody wants to be a leader. Now. I'm a leader. I'm a ceo, I'm a pastor. I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm all this stuff. But they don't understand that leadership comes at a price. I remember people looking at all these Instagram guys and, and they want to be Instagram famous and get all these followers and, and do all these things.
[00:48:45] So what do they do? They only post their highlight reels on Instagram, right? They, they post all of the good moments and. And what we see is the 20,000 people that, that pastor, or we see the, the, all the stages that they're performing on and, and, and we see all of these amazing things that, that you see them doing.
[00:49:01] But what you don't see is all of the years it took, when people slam the doors in their face, you don't see all of the time that it took when people turn them down and all the things that they put their hopes and everything in, and it came down to nothing. And they don't show you that part of leadership.
[00:49:15] They just show you. All you see is the highlight reels. And I see Frederick says, you don't see the behind the scenes of, of really what happens. And the behind the scenes is, what's the ugly part. You know, it's, it, it, it, the behind the scenes, there ain't no filter in life that I realize that you can throw on your Instagram.
[00:49:30] That can, that can shield you from the pain and the price of what it costs to be in leadership. The pain that it costs to get where you are. It costs you everything. And when I say that leadership costs you everything, it'll cost you everything that you hold dear. The Bible says that, that in order for you to gain your life, you gotta lose your life.
[00:49:47] And I think the hardest lesson for me to learn was the moment that I had to come face to face and realize, Jeff, you ain't moving to Newport Beach to be the stay a motivational speaker in a life coach, I'm calling you to Palm Springs, the Coachella Valley where as hot as Lithuania, where our brother turned four shades darker.
[00:50:05] But recognizing that this is the place where God had for my family to grow, it was me being willing to say God, I laid down every thought that I had in order to pick up the thoughts that you have for me. God, I lay down the life that I thought I was supposed to have, only to gain back everything that you had.
[00:50:21] And the only way I can, I can talk about leadership, when you turn into leadership, when as you begin to lead, it's really beginning to. You know, my pastor taught me this. He says, when you pray, pray that God begins to show you the picture of that person's life and let them know that, man, look, your, your life is the canvas.
[00:50:38] I want to be the paint to help you kind of put some things together. But ultimately, God is the artist who gets to paint it all together. And, and when I begin to look at that, I begin to look at our life almost like my son, Jayden. Jayden, you know, when he was young, he wants to be Spider-Man, Batman, the Hulk Ironman, a doctor, a soccer player, an astronaut, and do it all in one day, in five minutes.
[00:51:00] And you know, as a parent, you like, go ahead son. You can do it. I believe in you. You know, you start doing Spider-Man sounds and you know, you want encourage him at that moment. But even as a parent, you know, there's a moment in time where, where something has to shift, where you recognize the things that were, your fairy tales and your imaginations that you thought were amazing isn't who you're supposed to become.
[00:51:21] And I think what happens when it comes to moments of wanting to lead is that we have these pictures of how we want to lead and how we want things. But I think just like us, when we're younger, God gets to a point where he says, Hey, that was great to do all that. Are you done? Are you ready to do what I have in store for you?
[00:51:38] Because if you will lead your family the way that I'm asking you to lead, if you'll lead your department where you are, if you, if you lead the employees that you have, and you trust me in that process, if, if you begin to lead from, from a position of looking at my word or you're leading from a position of transparency and if you trust me, what I have for you is greater than what you could even imagine.
[00:52:00] And it was that moment for me that, that nobody talked about leadership. That you gimme in the right place at the right time with the right people and still feel like everything is all wrong. And what I mean by that is the hardest part for me in leadership that I had to learn was that when you get to a place of leadership, And you get to a place where God promoted you, God never promotes you because you have it all right then and there.
[00:52:27] He promotes you and puts you in a place that's gonna cause you to do the work, to pull out your leadership qualities, to get you to where you need to be. And whenever God positions you and he moves you to an organization, it's crazy because I remember when I became a pastor, I knew corporate world when I became a pastor.
[00:52:42] I didn't know all these top pastors. Hey, that's so-and-so. Hey, that's so-and-so. I didn't know anything about pastoring. I felt so dumb. I felt so stupid. Like I, I did, and I, I don't remember. I was like, man, God, how can I be at this new level? But I feel so dumb. I, I begin to panic because nobody talks about the leadership side of leadership where you are being asked to be somebody that you've never become before.
[00:53:04] So how can I know who to become if I've never become that person before? How, how can I know how I'm supposed to be? if I've never done it. I mean, God, if, if you could just gimme this pre-packaged where I get this suit that I get to put on when I hit this level of pastoring. So now I've got my super pastor suit, you know, and I got the pastor suit on.
[00:53:22] Or if you're a CEO, God, I can't wait. I ordered my, my pa I ordered my CEO suit off of Amazon and it came today. Man, I ordered that, that world's best dad suit on. And, and so I'm gonna put this on, I'm gonna become super dad. You know, and, and you look at all of these things where you, you wish that that was it.
[00:53:38] But the reality is, is that God always puts you in positions that pulls out the gifting that he's placed inside of you. And it always comes at a price. It comes at a price where you have to be humble enough to say, man, I don't know that it comes at a price where it's gonna cost you your tears. It comes at a price where it may cost you some relationship.
[00:53:54] You see walking in leadership and getting everything for your life, it costs you something. And, and my biggest desire for where I am right now is as we look at leadership is to understand that leadership. Cost. You know, they, they say, you know, if you, if you don't pay the cost, then you can't be the boss.
[00:54:10] You know, you gotta pay the cost to be the boss. When, when you look at the reality of all of these people, you look at their story, you look at their highlight, and I remember I used to look at my Instagram followers and feel so insecure. I used to look at the small churches that I would speak at and feel so insecure.
[00:54:26] I would look at, you know, the car that I would drive, I would look at the size of my church. I would look at, you know, all of these things. I would feel so insecure because it wasn't what I saw. But then when I got behind the scenes and my pastor began to show me the truth behind, and I began to get closer in these life coaching things and begin to look at these organizations, any, the Fortune five, I began to realize what it costs.
[00:54:47] Leadership will cost you everything, but the beautiful side behind it is that you'll gain everything. And the greatest thing that I can share when it comes to leadership is being able to understand that what's for you is what's for you. And I think this is what leaders need to understand. This is, this is, I think for me, this is my greatest secret.
[00:55:06] And I know it's not deep. I know it's not, you know, uh, uh, all esoteric and this, this huge like idea. But what's
[00:55:14] for
[00:55:14] Jeff Osborne: you is what's for you? Whatever God has in store for your life, I don't care if you're a pastor, ceo, business, uh, person who's starting, you know your entrepreneur, if you're a student, if you're an employee and you love your job, whatever God has for your life is for you.
[00:55:32] The Bible says that your giftings will make room for you and place you in front of great men. Notice that it says your giftings, not who you're trying to be, not who you're pretending to be. Your giftings will make room for you and place you in front of great men. And the greatest thing I had to understand is I, I, I'm not TD Jakes, I, I, I can't preach that that brother has an anointing on his life.
[00:55:55] That's phenomenal. I'm not Carl Lentz. I'm not Judah Smith or I, I, I can't cheese as big as my man, uh, Chad Veach or, or lead, like Pastor bed or lead like Grant Cardone or Anthony Robbins and, and be as big as he has in. Season of where he's at or, or or to, to be a Oprah Winfrey and get that mind. I can admire them from afar and take the things from them that I love.
[00:56:14] But at the end of the day, who I am is the gift to the world. And when we look at leadership as in that viewpoint of, man, I'm a gift to this world because nobody else can do what I can do, how I do it, then you'll understand that whatever God has designed for your life, if you are being who you are, that's what's gonna put you, put you in front of great people.
[00:56:31] That's what's gonna get you your promotion. That's what's gonna allow your company to skyrocket. That's what's gonna make you different in your think tanks of where you are. That's what's gonna get you to be the employee that stands out. It's not your ability to fit in, but it's your ability to stand out knowing that man, if God called me the lead, then I'm gonna lead the way that I know how to lead.
[00:56:47] I'm a storyteller. I'm a funny guy. I'm not this deep, you know, open your book to the Book of Numbers. You know, I'm, I'm not deep like that, but I, I really feel like I'm a practical pastor where you take the deep revelations of God and you make it. Practical and applicable into people's lives and, and being who I am in loving life.
[00:57:03] I began to realize that where I am even now, being able to do this amazing podcast at Pray.com, being able to be around such amazing people and leadership like, like Matt and Steve and, and, and, and Max and all you great people. It's not because I have all of these amazing skills. It's because I learned that who I am is a gift to this world.
[00:57:22] And just by me being true and authentic to who I am, it allows me to lead the way that God is calling me to lead. And I look at the idea of leadership where I am traveling around the world, speaking to these organizations. Um, being on this podcast really came up as a result of me not knowing the greatest knowledge, but me just being crazy enough to believe that.
[00:57:40] Whatever lesson I've learned in my life will allow me to usher the leadership, um, that may change somebody's life. And even if I listen and know, maybe if one person listens to this and they hear this last part, that you are authentically who you are, who God has created you to be. And you don't have to try to change who you are to get people to love.
[00:57:58] You don't have to change who you are to get people to be in a relationship with you. You shouldn't have to change who you are to get the promotions or compromise who you are to get promotions. Stay true to your values, stay true to your morals. Stay true to who you are because at the end of the day, God will promote you to a level where even your haters have to watch you.
[00:58:13] God says, you know, I'll place a I'll place a seat for you. And, and allow you to be at a at, at a place at the table, even with the people around you who don't even like you. It says, you prepare a place for me in the midst of my enemies. And so there's nothing greater than being able to see God elevating you in a place of leadership.
[00:58:31] Not because you got vengeful, not because you try to be somebody else. Not because you try to be manipulative, but because you recognize what God has for you is for you. And as you stay committed to who you are, the Bible says your giftings will make room for you, not somebody else's gifting. It's your giftings.
[00:58:46] And as you do that, God will just begin to usher that in and cause you to live a life like never before. And I think those are the keys from my life that really base my foundation of, of where we are. We love God. We love life. We love people. We love our city. That's what we believe in at Destiny Church.
[00:59:01] And so at the end of all of it, I think the summation of all leadership is love. Being able to love people through where they are, loving them through it, and not giving up on 'em when everybody else wants to give up on them. That's love for me and that's leadership for me.
[00:59:17] Man, I, I, I said, God, whenever I walk into a room, I want people to miss me. Like I wanna walk in like an espresso shot, like, bam! You know, Jeff came in the building and, man, I don't know what it is about him. You know, I feel really good. And it's amazing because when I decided to make that I, I begin to look at legacy.
[00:59:32] And as I begin to look at legacy, there are three words that I begin to gauge my life, my life off of. When I think about legacy, at the end of the day when I gauge my life, there are three words that define me, that I say, Jeff, this is what you're called to do that will leave your legacy live, love, and inspire
[00:59:55] In part three of this three part series on Relentless Hope, Jeff Osborne defines legacy as more than just financial. But a way of leaving a mark on this earth for future generations. We discover how he learned to leave a legacy of helping others from his elders, and how he applies that knowledge to leave a lasting and meaningful impact on this earth.
[01:00:29] I think when we look at the idea of our lives and we look at what's next, and you look at what the summation of our life is, and you look at, man, what, what do I want to achieve in my life? I gotta, I got, I have somebody who pours into our life at our, at our campus. His name is Grandpa Ray. And Grandpa Ray is in his eighties and he was a top financial advisor.
[01:00:48] And I remember, uh, a moment in my life, you know, coming here. And it's so funny because I think all of my insecurities, uh, came out when I became a pastor. You know, you can talk all that leadership talk, but pastoring really pulls it out of you where you have to really evaluate yourself. And I remember looking at pastor Obed, I said, man, you know, I'm panicking right now because I'm looking for legacy.
[01:01:08] I'm looking for something that I can leave my kids and I'm looking for something that I can do in, in my life that would make them feel amazing. And, and you know, it's all about legacy. You know, what are you gonna leave that legacy in? And you look at this, it's like, man, what is legacy? You know, I think it's one of those words that are so cliche when we say, man, I gotta leave a legacy.
[01:01:25] I gotta leave a legacy. And many people think that a legacy is financial. So they, they, they say, man, the only way that I'm gonna be able to leave a legacy is financially. So I gotta do everything within my power to make as much money as possible. And what happens is, is for parents, we tend to do everything in our power to give our children a good life.
[01:01:44] But we do very little to leave on a real legacy. And I found myself in this moment where I was pastoring, you know, and I sat down with Grandpa Ray maybe like a month ago, and I said, man, what am I gonna do to leave a legacy? I mean, I, I gotta be like Matt and I gotta, and Steve and start a startup company.
[01:02:00] Everybody's, you know, starting startup company. So I gotta move to Silicon Valley and, and you know, and I gotta have this big old tech world and I gotta be wealthy. If I can come up with some type of bird trying to go through some brick wall or something like that, then maybe I can make this amazing app that will make me millions.
[01:02:13] And, and as I make millions, then my kids will know that Daddy left him a really good legacy. And, and, and Grandpa Ray started laughing and he got to laugh. Like, ha, ha, ha, ha. I'm looking at him like, man, I'm just telling you where my heart is right now. You just gonna laugh in my face like that. He spoke to me, he says, I've made money in my life.
[01:02:31] And he said to me, what legacy is, legacy isn't what you leave in your child's bank account. It's what you leave in their heart that counts. It's not what you leave in their bank account, it's what you leave in their heart that counts. I remember reading this book, um, and, and as I really begin to, to read this book, I, I love the idea, um, of how well and long in his book, the Power of Consistency asked this question.
[01:03:01] He says, I want you to picture yourself walking into this room, and when you walk in this room, you're at a funeral and it's an open casket, but when you look into this casket, you realize that it's you and you're at your funeral. What would you want people to say about you at your funeral? What would you want your children to say about their daddy?
[01:03:25] What would you want your coworkers to say about you? What would you want the people who knew you? What would you want your mom? What, what would you want your wife? What would you want your friends? What would you want your colleagues, what would you want your congregation to say about you if you died? And I remember that question began to rock me to the core of who I was because there was a moment where I had achieved this measure of success.
[01:03:45] And I remember I, I, I was good. I was coaching, but I wasn't happy. And, and, and I remember I was going down the stairs and I was sleeping in the bed with nay, and I was tossing and turning and, and I was upset. And, and I remember Nadia was like, you know, babe, what's wrong? And I was like, I don't know. And she's like, is it me?
[01:04:00] I was like, I don't know. It could be, you know. And I marched down and I snatched the blanket off of the, off of the bed and my side of it. And I marched down the stairs and I remember laying down and pulling the covers over my head. And I remember so quietly I heard my wife come down and she just hugged me.
[01:04:17] And I remember I started crying. And when I began to cry, I said, I'm done. She's like, well, what are you talking about? I said, I'm done treating God. Like, he's like this, this lottery ticket
[01:04:31] that
[01:04:31] Jeff Osborne: hopefully one day you're gonna get your big break. I'm done feeling like I gotta become this, this overnight shot of success and write 50 million books.
[01:04:39] I'm I, I'm done with this. And I felt like in that moment, like the heavens opened up and God asked me one of the, the greatest questions that I could ever be asked. He says, son, when you stand before me, what do you want me to say to you? And now you know the church answers. Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter into my rest.
[01:04:59] You know? But for me, it wasn't that answer. The first thing that came to my mind without hesitation was, thank you for showing my children who they are. When you look at legacy, Legacy goes beyond you just securing, you know, the, the, the life insurance, because that's important. It's not, you know, securing financial things.
[01:05:22] Absolutely. You wanna secure, secure that for your daughter's wedding, for your kids. You wanna do things that are gonna set them up, but that's just one portion of it. The greatest legacy that we can leave behind is a life of serving others. The greatest legacy that we can leave behind is being able to say, when I die, I can't take money with me.
[01:05:43] I can't take my Ferrari with me. I can't take my massive church that I built with me. But what I can take with me when I stand before God for me is all of the people that I chose to share with them who God is and how much he loves them. What I can take with me is all the lives that were changed as account of me being obedience.
[01:06:04] But what's more important is what is legacy? Legacy is what is left behind long after you're gone. And most people wanna be like, oh my gosh, he left a great legacy cuz I can buy all of these things. He left a great legacy because I can do this. I love how the Jewish people teach. They say, if you really wanna leave, leave a legacy.
[01:06:19] Do three things, write a book because a book will outlast you long after you're gone plant a tree because a tree will outlive you long after you're gone and have children. Because children can outlast you long after you're gone. And whether you can physically have a child, whether you can't, you can still adopt.
[01:06:40] But even doing that and leaving a legacy means that the lessons that you teach people, how you made them feel when you, when you walk around them. Man, I, I, I said, God, wherever I walk into a room, I want people to miss me. Like I wanna walk in like an expressional shot, like, bam! You know, Jeff came in the building and, man, I don't know what it is about him.
[01:06:59] You know, I feel really good. And it's amazing because when I decided to make that, I, I began to look at legacy. And as I begin to look at legacy, there are three words that I begin to gauge my life, my life off of. When I think about legacy, at the end of the day when I gauge my life, there are three words that define me.
[01:07:16] That I say, Jeff, this is what you're called to do that will leave your legacy live love, and inspire. Jeff, did you live today to the fullest capacity? Did you help other people begin to live? Today? When people ask, man, Jeff, how you doing today? I said, phenomenal. I'm having the best day of my life. He said, really?
[01:07:34] I said, yeah, cuz I'm breathing. It's a good day. And they start laughing. Did you love, did I love somebody who felt like they would never get loved? Did I send something out where. Where, where they never would've been able to hear that. And I, I try to always do things in my, in my Instagram or, or through whatever avenue that I can to really show people that they're loved and that they're appreciated.
[01:07:55] I, I, I try to do things where, where I begin to let people know that no matter where you are, that you're loved and you're appreciated. I want to be able to love so bad that I lit, that I love the hell out of people. Like literally love the hell out of people loving the hellish things that are out of people that the hell that they're going through.
[01:08:10] I wanna love 'em so much that it comes out of their life to where they feel like they matter, that they feel like they have worth. When I talk about legacy, legacy is me sitting down with a gentleman who overdosed three months ago and, and was on the board of a flatline three different times, and when everybody else wanted to walk away with them, I chose to sit down with them and, and use whatever gifting I had of, of coaching to just begin to coach 'em.
[01:08:30] Not for another fee, not for anything else, but simply because God loves 'em and he sees them as, as who they are. And so, And begin to love on him. And as a result of that is his life is transformed, his marriage is being restored. His, he has a relationship with his daughter. And, and I think those are the things that, that I, I look at when I say, Jeff, did you love Outrageously?
[01:08:48] So I sign off all of my emails with Outrageous Love, Jeff T. Osborne, you know, because I want them to know that whether I know you are not, you're loved and appreciated and, and you never. What your love can do for somebody else. So when I look at the idea of legacy, I, I I, I look to live that I live to my fullest, that I, that I love.
[01:09:06] And the last thing is that I inspire to inspire me to, to, to, to, to breathe into somebody that I encourage, to encourage me in, uh, comes from the Latin word to means to cut or to put in, encourage, in other words, that I put courage into somebody today that I, that I make them feel good. That I allow them to know that you can accomplish everything you wanna accomplish in your life as you begin to honor God.
[01:09:26] And you put people first and, and you choose to focus on what really matters. And you're not in it for yourself. You're not in it for selfish
[01:09:32] gain,
[01:09:33] Jeff Osborne: but did you really inspire somebody else? Did you really encourage somebody else? And as a result, Zig Ziglar says it like this, if you help enough people get what they want, you'll have what you want.
[01:09:42] And I think the goal for me as a pastor is not to be envious of the businessmen who are there. You know, we, we have the ability of some of the largest businessmen in our valley, in the Coachella Valley. We have the ability to have Bible studies with them and to do these things with them. And it's great.
[01:09:56] And one of the things Pastor Obed taught me, he says, you know, you can't want what they have. Because if you want what they have, it has the ability to taint you and you become biased and, and do things that, that, that, that, that cause your, your integrity to be compromised. He says that, that that integrity is something that is hard to gain, but it's easy to begin to lose.
[01:10:16] And, and so I think there's a lot of us when there's pastors who are in these, these realms of church where they begin to envy what some of their, their big donors have, or we call 'em kings, what their kings have. And so you try to keep up with the Joneses rather than just staying in your lane and loving on them.
[01:10:31] I may not have, uh, a massive car dealership and all these business, so I may not have a financial company, but I have the responsibility of a car dealership and a financial company because I'm their pastor. And so my responsibility is to pray for them, to pray for their families. And at the end of the day, the Bible says that you, my desire is that you would prosper and be in good health as your soul prospers.
[01:10:50] And so I feel like as a pastor, I'm a soul doctor. And I think it kind of leads into the way that when we ask people, instead of asking the question to everybody else, Hey, how you doing? and then not waiting for an response. Like, it kills me when people are like, Hey, man, you know, how you doing? And you just walk away and you don't even stop to like, listen to what they say.
[01:11:07] Like, Hey, I'm fine. Thanks for asking. But instead of just asking the questions of how you you're doing, when you're really looking at leaving a legacy, you stop and you ask the question, man, how aren't you doing? Hey, are you not in the place where you want to be? Or is your marriage not where it's at? Um, um, how aren't the things working in your life that you desire to ask and then really stop and really care about them to really listen to what they're, to what they're saying.
[01:11:29] Live, love, inspired. Th those are the things that I begin to live of when I think about a legacy. And most importantly, I think about legacy. I think about the things that I begin to teach my children long after I'm gone. When I look at that funeral, I want people to say, man, he loved us so. So with, with reckless abandonment, I mean, there was nothing about him that he would not sacrifice begin to lay down for somebody.
[01:11:52] If you ask me, I wanna be a perfect picture of who Jesus was for us, is that, you know, he, he, he didn't count his life anything, but, but he, he, he looked forward to what was in front of him that he surrendered and he endured the cross for the joy that was set before. In other words, I was able to look at my sacrifice and see those who would come after me.
[01:12:09] When you look at legacy, legacy is bigger than you just giving yourself a great name, but it's leaving others in a higher place than you were yourself. When you look at Legacy, what I love about Pastor Bed is legacy is he said to me, sat me across the table, he says, son, I said, what's up, Bishop? And he goes, he says, you're going to go places that I've never been before.
[01:12:29] You're gonna stand on stages that I'll never be able to stand before, and I'm gonna step back as a father and be so proud of who you've become because you're called to go further than me. If you really wanna look at somebody who's a legacy builder, it's when they sacrifice and they give so that others can go further than them.
[01:12:48] If I had to give one sound advice for people who are out there and you're saying, man, what can I do to get my life to the next level? What can I do to be able to, to see a change in my marriage or to see that legacy that was shifted? The greatest thing that I can, I, I can share with people is don't be afraid of going after your faults.
[01:13:14] Don't be afraid of going after the skeletons that are in your closet that are there, and you've hung stuff there anyway, the greatest thing that you can do is be in a position where you acknowledge where you've made your mistakes, go after the areas in your life that you wanted to cover up and begin to get the work needed on it, because there's nothing worse than looking healthy on the outside, but begin to die on the inside.
[01:13:40] It's being able to understand that legacy is about you being healthy, not just externally, but internally and really looking at the areas of our lives where we say, you know what? I may not be perfect. I may not have it together, but I'm never gonna stop looking at myself as seeing what I can crack. The Japanese, when they built Toyota, they have a saying, um, it's a way of life, which is called kaan.
[01:14:04] And Kaan is the ability to do small changes little by little, which results in a large outcome. And so if you're going to look to change your life and leave a legacy, don't try to jump for the big ship. When I mean jump for the massive change, it's the small changes over time, the small tweaks over time that will lead to the greatest life that you can ever imagine.
[01:14:28] Don't be afraid to change the things one step at a time. Your life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. And as I begin to make those tweaks, and as you begin to change that, that marathon becomes more bearable and you can see the end in sight. When you look at yourself, you do those corrections, you get healthy people around just kaison one step at a time.
[01:14:49] Take it one step at a time. Change one small thing at a time, five minutes a day, change a book, read a different book, five minutes a day, read something. Look at something that you never would've take yourself out of. The element of giving you limiting thoughts and beliefs and those small little tweaks and those changes.
[01:15:04] The, I'm sorrys the man, I didn't see this. The Seeking Good Counsel small steps will allow you to get to a place where one day you're gonna begin to run in big strides and eventually win the race. And at the end of my day, the life that I'm here, I gotta understand that everything I'm doing here is preparing me for my next step is preparing for my next place.
[01:15:23] And for us, you know, we believe that it's heaven, but at the end of the day, I heard it said like this earth is the womb of heaven. In other words, how you learn to love here, how you worship God, how you treat people here is really preparing you for that life when you come into heaven. How you get to love people and love God and begin to, to do that with, with reckless abandonment.
[01:15:40] And, and if I, if I look back on my life and I look back on where we are, and I look back on. on the dreams and the visions that we have. You know, the reality is, is there's some people's lives that God has used me to be a part of where I just planted a seed and I never got to be a part of the harvest conversations that I had with people that, you know, they left me and or they, they, they chose to leave.
[01:16:10] And people that were in your life where you encouraged them on one moment and the next minute they begin to leave. And many times we get bitter about that and we allow bitterness to rob us of our legacy because rather than leaving a legacy, we try to spend the rest of our lives, uh, trying to get back at them and trying to get mad at the people who left your life.
[01:16:27] And, and I learned that, you know, be grateful for the moment that you were in their. And pray that the seeds that you dropped was something that somebody else will come along the line and water that seed and, and help them learn the lesson of how they're supposed to treat people or how they're not supposed to treat people.
[01:16:42] You know, you don't wanna burn a bridge cuz you may have to cross it back one day, but also when, as much as it remains in me, like the Bible says, be at peace with all men. And so when I look at my life and I look at where I am as a pastor, as a leader, there's so many people that you pour into. And I think legacy means that you don't have to be the one to finish the project.
[01:17:01] Legacy means you don't have to be the one who reaps the harvest and may be the one that you just plant that seed And, and if you look at the culmination of my life, and you look at the culmination of all the mighty men and the women out there who are in ministry, who are in these businesses, I think the greatest ones and the healthiest ones are the ones who set up the structure for those people to come alongside and build up the infrastructure.
[01:17:23] To be able to allow them to resurrect something that will go far beyond them. And so my greatest life, uh, that I can look at, the greatest thing that I can look at when it looks at legacy, I want them to say, man, he loved me with a reckless abandonment. He served and he laid his whole life on the line. He, he loved his wife and he honored her.
[01:17:44] He allowed his children to have a voice and be able to speak up so they know when they can stand up for things, when they see that they're not right. And ultimately, he gave his life to be somebody who plants seeds in other people's hearts. And at the end of my life, they can say, man, he was a great farmer of people.
[01:18:01] And at the end of my life, I look at my funeral, I want there to be a sea of people that says, man, because Jeff was here, our life was better. And for me, that's legacy.
[01:18:18] Thank you for listening to Pray.com's Relentless Hope podcast. I'm your host, Steve Gatena, and I'm here to help you love your life, lead with purpose, and lead a legacy of helping others. If you enjoyed this episode of Pray.com's Relentless Hope podcast, be sure to share it with someone in your life. You never know the impact you can make on someone's life by sharing one piece of inspiring content.
[01:18:47] Until next time, always remember to give hope a voice.
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